The Drama of the Female Narcissist in the Family

[@missboozehound]

Jealous and envious of their own child. It is sickening.

[@goldalevin869]

I lived it and it was.

[@deborahb209]

I'm still living it at 58 and now low contact or she pits my brother to bitch at me.

[@missboozehound]

@@deborahb209 my mother used that against me. My own brothers to bring me down. Her own brothers to bring me down. I’m still here. She even uses my siblings kids against me.

[@sherryboyd394]

I'm going through this right now

[@missboozehound]

@@sherryboyd394 stay strong. Remember, it is not you. Something will always be bothering them inside.

[@Smoke_C]

Mother and then married one. I’m over it. These people are destroyers of lives.

[@sherylpeters5764]

Same.

[@imsaltylit3101]

Same 😩.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

Same

[@BlueJeansandJellyBeans]

Same😮‍💨

[@EMGEE718]

Same story buddy..

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Spot on! I have met many covert narcisistic women. They are draining trouble makers and vindictive bullies. Snakes spitting venom. And they are cruel even to their own children, let alone others. Heartbreaking 💔

[@thewanderer6637]

Married to one. For 36 years. I was forced to watch my kids grow up through much too much emotional trauma. What I don't understand though, the children thinks she's God. Exactly as described in the video and as described by you. I'm a South African farmer, easy going with a strong belief in family values. I'm not overly religous, love rock music, metal, some blues and the Three Tenors at that. Being a former SF operator, I've been around the world in service of your DoD. We fought a tough war in Angola against the Cubans and Russians together with their local proxies. I should have had PTSD from that and not from my wife. Dafaq! But I did well in civvie life as well, just to bear witness to the destruction of everything I ever owned, made, founded, did, built and my trying to be the best of a father to my children that I could be. At this stage I'm losing my sanity and health. I just can't do this anymore. I was looking forward to getting out of this situation, but my son and 6 yearr old grandson is living with us and my grandson needs me and I love him too much to forsake him. I am an empath and as such, digest a large portion of the abuse, but it becomes overwhelming. From too many (all?) directions and angles. I will never understand though, that a person and parent choose to ruin their own and their family's lives in exchange to be the most evil and nasty being on earth. Even a serial killer kills you faster. I can say a lot more which most all of you will relate to, but you all know what I'm experiencing. I pray you all find peace and a better life eventually and to those who are healing or healed, nothing can shake your foundations after what you've been through. Take care.

[@leah__gail]

My mother. It was my birthday this past weekend, my daughter and grandson drove 5 hours to come see me, take me out, have fun. Saturday night, I had an evening with a friend, didn’t get home until midnight, walked in the door and she’s sitting in the living room floor beside the couch, where she sits on the couch. I asked what happened…she fell, scooted herself from the bathroom to her bedroom, then to the living room, where she sat for THREE hours until I got home. At first, I was panicked until I saw the phone A FOOT AWAY FROM HER on the end table. When I realized what happened, and what she did, I lost my 💩. She “scooted” all over the house but didn’t REACH over to call me, my brother, the fire dept (which my brother is chief of) or the neighbors who are right next door. She waited on her 57 year old daughter to lift her out of the floor. (It takes 2 people because she won’t help, at all.) She did that to make me feel sorry for her so I don’t DARE have a life and because the focus was on me this weekend. Sick. Sick. Sick!!

[@462ANIMAL]

Happy belated Birthday to you ! Having parents with mental health issues sure does take its toll on a person. My mother only emailed me wishing me happy birthday first of June for me.

[@leah__gail]

@@462ANIMAL Yeah she only forgets mine. Last year it was a day early. This year 12:10a while I’m calling 911 for a lift assist.

[@462ANIMAL]

@@leah__gail Yeah , I have a cousin like that.. never remembers my birthday.. but never fails he messages a few days after.. wanting something.. my replies are now like his 2-3 words.. and a few days later.. lol evil people they are. Don’t hurt your back over picking her up.

[@beaglerescue5281]

Happy Birthday 🎉 My covert narc daughter didn’t acknowledge Mother’s Day, my 40th birthday nor my 60th wedding anniversary all in the month of May. Texted her father last night about getting together for Father’s Day. He said he wasn’t going anywhere with her alone. #Triangulation

[@leah__gail]

@@beaglerescue5281 Happy Belated Birthday!! Happy Mothers Day!!! and Happy Anniversary!! 🥰🥰❤️🥳🥳🥳🥳 I do not blame him.

[@Goodlk231]

They Will even SET TRAPS for you!!!!😡.

[@Lucy-ie8qw]

I have the covert Narc M.I.L. She can never ask a single question about her grand children. Never likes to spend time with them. Plays the massive victim when i just asked why she cant make an effort with her grand children. Tells her church friends she is not welcome at our home. After 30 years i had enough....no contact.

[@greatgrit]

Sister is one. No contact for nearly 3 years. Drama and conflict follows her and but she is always the victim, never the perpetrator. Talks down to people, criticises everyone, insults disguised as jokes, dismissive of your feelings, sense of entitlement to your loyalty, your availability, your servitude. Agressive. Flips the script of what actually happened. Her presence alone makes you nervous. Good luck fellow recoverers. It's not easy, it's not easy to explain to wider society so don't try, find your recovery tribe and stay healthy. ❤‍🔥

[@shaktishakti544]

My adult daughter is a narcissist. There is no one on this planet that has caused me more pain. She has made my life a living hell. I see all kinds of videos about the narcissistic mother but rarely anything about the adult child narcissist

[@beaglerescue5281]

I’m in the same situation with a covert narcissistic daughter who has caused me incredible pain for 17 years. We’re currently no contact so no more visits with my only grandchild. Planning to move away in 5 years and start a new life without her. I really don’t desire to see her ever again. The damage is done.

[@susanmacaluso5218]

My son is this way.

[@CindyMishio-gl7ir]

You not the nail on the head. Too many mothers are villainized and not enough is said about narcissistic children/adiult children. I just had to make the decision to no longer have any contact with my oldest. That also means no contact with my grandkids. But I can’t live my life in turmoil anymore.

[@seameology]

I have more than one. Completely no contact with one, and very little to no contact with another. Gray Rock the third. And I don't live anywhere near them. I'm done.

[@nisha8500]

My ex narcissistic husbands mother , oh his , such a horrible lady .. the minute she opened her mouth everything about her will come out , she was a victim everywhere or she was the best in everything , she was the best cook , teacher , daughter in law and she is best mother .. her golden child was my husband , 33 year grown up man used to behave like 2 years old kid around her ..shitty people 🤮

[@robertl7239]

I have 3 female siblings. The Narcissist among them loves being "special" by any means necessary. As far back as I can remember, the Narcissist loved playing Divide and Conquer within our family, pitting each sibling and parent against the other. Somehow, she always manages to portray herself as a victim. Claiming to care about people, she can turn on/off the charm, and tears, like a faucet. Married to husband #3, she retains the last name of husband #2, and maintains a long-standing affair with a friend of their family/business. When challenged, she attempts to preemptively label her challenger(s) as Narcissist(s). I ended all contact with the siblings, and the drama, over 3 years ago.

[@lisaatkinson6276]

Thank you Jill for this video on this specific topic. It’s a whole different ball game when it’s a member of the family. Everything is spot on regarding my sibling with the decades of triangulating… siblings against siblings, parents against children. She was the one causing all the trouble, and I finally see that after decades. The only thing I’d add is the sense of entitlement when it comes to the inheritance… and when the mask finally slips (which it did), expect huge rage fits that look terrifying and the worst smear campaign you can imagine.

[@SheldonBrown567]

@A female narcissist in your family?” My goodness, I have my mother, my sister in law, my ex wife, my ex mother in law, my sister in laws sister, absolutely surrounded by them. Don’t get me started on the grandiose male narcissists in my family. No contact two years now.

[@endorphinrider62]

Excellent work Jill! There is less suffering because of you...

[@grahamdunn8292]

So many wise words in this episode - thank you. The first tragedy is so little is known about narcissism - i thought a narcissist was somebody who looked at themselves in the mirror too much every day - oh no!! The second tragedy is that the damage is invariably already done before you realise what is actually happening - the point of no return is past and all the red flags missed - those flags so obvious once it dawns on you what you are being inflicted with - the manipulation, the lies, the gaslighting, the inner doubt, the eggshell walking. My DIL is all of these and you are so right - look at the newest member of the family - she has ripped our family apart.

[@alimccreery755]

I was the scapegoat so every word you’re saying is on point. I’ve gone no contact with my family except my brother but that’s even questionable. Every word is truth 👍

[@fifilafleur5555]

Right there with you. Family whooping girl here. My dad was furious when I went “no contact” with his third wife and their daughter. I had lost my health and could no longer tolerate their abuse. My dad takes part abusing me too. Extended family believe the lies about me and go along. I got metastatic cancer and have no tolerance for their vicious games. It’s evil what they all do.

[@Sarara-mv5sx]

The brother is probably reporting everything you say.

[@alimccreery755]

I’m sure and I don’t give a crap I’m not scared. If brother had a brain in their heads they would be going after the real threats instead of playing NCIS like little children.

[@mikesmith6594]

Sounds like both of my aunts they turned my sister & cousins against me through there smear campaigns .

[@sherryboyd394]

You are describing my mother,everything is spot on

[@lindaguy1808]

My covert sister in law to a tee. Thank God ive gone no contact for almost 2 years now and continue to do so. I never want to see or speak to her again. Thanks Jill ❤

[@beaglerescue5281]

I’ve got the one too. I’m glad she lives in Canada.

[@OwlPsalm]

God bless you thank you for all that you do

[@MagicalCreations-fw7pj]

Excellent!!! So spot on in describing them. They don't have to be a family member but just a random female who needs a fix. And boy do they know how to play the game before you even realize what's going on.

[@robertl7239]

They're Masters of Lies, Deceit, and Manipulation.

[@AmulyaRajput]

Thank you so much for these videos ❤

[@mrsk812]

My sister lives miles away but will call up and leave guilt tripping messages on our answering machine every holiday complete with crying, yelling, and crazy accusations.

[@amandaball353]

Wow. Jill, this was exactly what I needed to hear. This was my Mother-in-law (I’m no contact this Oct. will be 3yrs👏🏻). I had never been exposed to a narcissist before. I couldn’t describe what was wrong with her (when we used to talk on the phone w/ my husband) or how I would feel drained after these 1+ hour phone calls. I had to do much research on online & on KZbin to figure out what traits I was witnessing. Then I came across all the different types of narcissists. Thank you for creating this video- it is so nice to be reassured that all signs point to her jealousy of me and would make everything a competition (even if she didn’t say it). It’s absolutely bizarre to see an 80yr old senior citizen behave like a 7yr old. And now I see this in my husband. He throws tantrums if he doesn’t get his way- 39yr old man old act like a 5yr old. It is the most insane act I’ve ever witnessed. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?!

[@sherrydickie8459]

My grown daughter ! She was jealous of the relationship i had with my 7 year old granddaughter. So yes, she found a way to end it. She created an evil smear campaign against my husband (her step dad) so my granddaughter couldn't come to our house any more. I haven't been able to talk to her in 2 long, heartbreaking years. I am going through the court system to try to see my granddaughter. Of course my daughter is playing the victim card. I pray every day the Judge will see through her lies when we finally have court in September. This is a very accurate description of a female narcissistic family member!

[@beaglerescue5281]

I believe you 100%! I’m not allowed to see my granddaughter anymore.

[@beat4224]

Omg this is my sister! Can you do a video on the narcissistic drunk? Or drug addict? Bc that is when she is the most destructive. When she drinks, she is in fine form!. I finally figured out that I can't trust her with any emotional triggers, per my therapist. And then she gets "hurt" and becomes the victim. She says she loves me, but she doesn't trust me... and I get mad! Inside my mind, I'm screaming at her. "How dare you not trust me!! I'm the one who can't trust YOU!" And when she's finally sober, I have to act like nothing at all happened or she will turn I to that."Oh, woe is me," victim and we all have to fawn over her. It's easier to just placate her so we don't have to put up with her.. 😢

[@royalredus]

Jill, you continue to bring great comfort to those of us who've been victims. I hate that you've had to gain your expertise through such awful personal experience, but here we are, eh? You counseled my Mom and I a couple of years ago (my sister wrote a book, we took legal action, yada yada...) Thank you so much for your help and support. Mom will never "get over it", but she is doing better and living her life, partly because of your help and support.

[@ft7504]

I think it is an older video that you re-uploaded, but I cannot thank you enough because it reminds me of my situation! Your educational videos are life saving! Please keep up the good work and continue educating people in order to save lives.

[@alimccreery755]

Yup I have a few on both sides 😬

[@alimccreery755]

My father recognized when I was born and a little baby that my sister is very much evil and it’s really sad because she learned it from our mother. I’m with you Jilll I have growing up stories and also my stepmonstersaurus who was very verbally abusive and cruel. Nowadays I listen very carefully 👍

[@wayneelliott1180]

A child scapegoat to the narc parent doesn't know it's not their fault. That child is being hard wired into all sorts of issues as an adult that stem from abuse and constant corrosion of self confidence. As a survivor, the most valuable thing we can do with that is to educate ourselves. There are so many that persist in ruined lives because they are unaware of where its all coming from.

[@fifilafleur5555]

Thank you for this, Jill. I’ve been surrounded by female narcs in my family (both sides) and know firsthand the harm & destruction they cause. It’s absolutely devastating how evil their behavior can be. - Michelle

[@muma6559]

experts at triangulating, unfortunately the flying monkeys are scared

[@fifilafleur5555]

Yes!!! This is what makes the abuse even more devastating for the scapegoat. The minions are too scared to stand up to the narcissist. Weak & spineless minions!

[@OfSoulAndSin]

I will just have to agree and leave it there.

[@craigmcgarry4007]

Im no contact with my whole family of origin because my narcissistic sister manipulated it because I stood up to her, the flying monkeys just followed her.

[@linda01234567890]

How would one define their enabler partner, who does not protect the family but protects and defends the abuser? I think they go to far out of the way to protect the abuser because they well know at any second the abuser will snap over to them and they know how that feels.

[@leslieg8176]

I have recently realized that my 35 year old daughter is like this!

[@fuelingforthelight]

She wasn't born that way.

[@hansscheltema3348]

My sister lied to police multiple times, so I reported her to the FBI, they have a data base

[@davidyardley512]

I would really like to forward this to my daughters, 21 and 17. Not yet.

[@gailrobinson3853]

My mother is stealth and so is my sister. They like to trigger me and when i have fallen for the bait they have lapped up the drama and said i was the drama queen. I left myself so venerable trusting them. So stupid of me. I also allowed my mother to be the only one who i communicated through. I live 6000 miles away! God has now convicted me to cut all ties....its hard. I pray for them. And now i know im going to face the biggest smere campaign ever. Knowing that i can pray for them to repent, and Knowing that Jesus is the judge is my only hope. He is the fair and true judge. He is the one who knows everything and i delight in that! May we never allow a root of bitterness to spring up in our heart and allow it to change us into them. Keep praying and asking Jesus for His grace to starve the old man and walk in the Spirit!!

[@lulu-qw8xy]

Thank you! ❤

[@robeastwood2093]

Wow wow wow. This explains SO much!

[@evilbarbie2160]

Stepmonster, aunt, trans sister, grandmother, a few short term friends. Got the delux family package. Lucky me.... at least I had an amazing Goddess of a real mom for a few years of my life.

[@Teddybeloved]

My mom scared me a long time ago as a child by saying she knew and or admired the actress playing Mommy Dearest, also liked, Clovers in the Attic, where the mom abandons the children for a new life & poison them with cookies. When I watched Harry Potter she reminded me a lil of Umbridge, in pink and her giggle. Then the movie Mist as too the movie Carey with the religious zealot who couldn't even address their child or strangers with kindness or by name; lil boy/girl. And scare you with God's wrath. If you seen the Snow white and the huntsman; the Evil Queen's cold stare at Snow or even resentment in 2nd movie to her sister being Queen, and the reveal she made her the Ice Queen by killing her child. The new Cruella story how Stella had to die by her Mother before becoming Cruella. Mother Gothel who pretends to protect Rapunzel from the dangers of the world when she is the danger in the world whom stole the princess from a happy life and royalty, using her only for eternal youth and then tries to scare away or kill anyone that gets too close then afterwards disappears leaving her alone up in the tower. Lady Tremaine in Cinderella. I understood these stories & movies well.

[@fifilafleur5555]

Me too! I had a stepmother Mother Gothel. I relate so much to Cinderella & the wicked stepmother & stepsisters. There’s a reason why stepmothers were portrayed as wicked & evil in the fairytales. It’s been my experience in real life!

[@frankkazimir9173]

My sister got my family to force me out of my home. I want my home back.

[@teresadvorak6145]

🙏❤❤❤

[@cassandrachavez6501]

My husband and I separated ourselves from his narcissistic family! The women in his family are BRUTAL! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, including his two daughters! We have tried to make it work with them. But if they are not in control, they throw their fits, stonewall, gaslight, and are VERY JEALOUS and PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE! Where they keep you guessing what you did wrong. After 17 years in this family, the last straw was with his oldest daughter spreading rumors and gossiping about us. And triangulating every member of the family. Just because her father does not tolerate her disrespect that she, of course, does not see. When he tries to talk to her about how he feels, she has a meltdown and acts the victim, blameshifting on how strict he is. When it is farther from the truth!! I came into the picture when she was 12 years old, and her narc mom left her and her sister with him while taking the childsupport for self for a year. My husband was in and out of court trying to get that back because he had the girls full time. It was a very traumatic time for them. I was there for them. And the oldest clinged on to me as I showed her love and affection. Fast forward to now, she has been reconnected with her narc mom, which smeared her dad immensely and caused parental alienation. We are chop liver and her mom is queen. It's an atrocity whst has happend. My husband is beside himself but has let go. I tried to be the neutral person in this, just for it to backfire on me. So we just decided to go NO contact. It has been one rollercoaster ride!! There is tons of jealousy going on with all the women in his family as well.So much triangulation. I just can't get over it!

[@JKDVIPER]

That music is awesome. 😉✊”I’m looking forward to this one. What would we do without this ADULT EDUCATION. 😂❤i picture myself hanging out watching mindless TV and it scares me. Because as an adult you end up learning these lessons in the form of consequences we didn’t ask for/deserve, or want.” That’s an anxious laughter too because we are still going through it with the narcissist in our dynamic.”

[@hansscheltema3348]

Women narcissists, Karens, are public enemy #1

[@Joe-tb7kw]

Married one, for 2 months engaged she love bombed me..i couldn't be any better ~ day of our wedding! She photobombs a dude at the airport.. smiling making the love signal with her hand.. at that point I thought maybe I'm in trouble here..i was, turn down she had bipolar.. found out 2 months after we married.. she told me a story about some dumb guy, she pretended to love him and he bought her food clothing... I said who is that! I only married you for a health insurance... She did get on medication, it seemed to help for 2 months, then out of nowhere she quit her jobs.. she only work part-time anyway.. told me God was plaguing her.. cuz she promised to quit her job when she got married.. 2 months after she quit, tells me she's thinking about committing adultery,,, she wasn't specific, highly evasive as they are as narcissist.. the next day when I took her to a doctor's appointment she filed the phony restraining order on me.. that's a nice clean break, she left her aging cat for me to take care of, left me with a broken heart because I actually loved her, had all my weapons taken out of my house illegally as remember the restraining order was only a lie.. oh that doesn't matter to the courts anyway.. she got out Scott free!.., she can tell anybody any story she wants, I can't refute it because I'm not allowed to talk to her cuz it's a restraining order.. pretty clever huh, then extorts money from me demanded money to drop the tro. Only married 7 months, I catered to her, walked on eggshells went out of my way to care for her.. and she dropped me on the floor like it was a piece of used trash.. and that wasn't good enough she had to pour gasoline on it light it on fire and then stop it out..pure evil..... But you know what! This is a blessing!, imagine if she was married to me for a couple years which she could have done?.. God is good

[@c.e2125]

My father in law’s second wife is a covert narcissist who is jealous of the relationship he had with his son. Both of her kids don’t want her in their life. She has successfully destroyed my father in law’s relationship with his son using manipulation and lies. But we tell ourselves as horrible and painful as it is we have something she does not have a happy life and a healthy mental health. Thankfully we have great relationships with my parents who love my husband as a son and his mother who adores him. I would love to know how to deal with the enabler partner of a narcissist. I simply cannot understand how he turned his back on his son who has always treated him with love and respect. 😞

[@danielegintonlandscapearch4953]

Love it!

[@timhicks9207]

I have learned after living with a narcissist for 2 yrs that there are 2 things that you can use to you're advantage. #1 They are so damn predictable lol and #2 They assume everything, especially if it's a negative scenario, so stop walking on eggshells and use these 2 things so you can be in control in your life and watch how amusing it is when you apply these tools, signed Hahaaaaaa 🎉😂

[@Raymond-v4c]

I wish I had the courage to call 911 as a child to expose my covert narc mother as she tried to kill me and my dad with butcher knife. My father was told weekly that if he leaves SHe would go back to Scotland and smear his name to his family and sister. That kept my father in the trauma bond state .

[@meloneymoore8856]

Thank you sooo much for exposing this 🔥🔥🔥-Xclusyph Icon

[@rebuildingmyself3861]

My situation is the opposite, it's my father-in-law instead. If anyone could reply to this, i'd love feedback & advice please. Here's a quick summary...my mother-in-law passed away last year from breast cancer, so we allowed my father in law to temporarily live with us. He uses guilt, & grief tho against my husband as a way to use us & get over on us. He's in OUR HOME, yet we somehow feel trapped & have told him several times to move out, yet he's still under our roof. Please help, anything will be appreciated...

[@comeon_man]

I believe my mom stepmom sisters and stepsisters are all Triangulating together creating havoc for me Lol I feel like a superhero battling the axis of evil! My wife gets in there too But im on to it My weapons are truth bombs They hate them Scatter like rats on a ship

[@teresadvorak6145]

😅😂😅😂❤😅🎉 I know it's not a funny situation but my sense of humor is tickled the way U say they scatter like rats on a ship!! 😅😂 yes mine also hate the truth bombs & completely flip out 😅

[@fifilafleur5555]

Yes!!! They hate me because I will call them out and tell them the truth! I hear you and I believe you. I’m living it too.

[@Mudpie68]

Born into a den of wolves as soon as you go belly up they tear your guts out.

[@TimothyTaylor-w6d]

Interesting

[@spartan1857]

My mom was like this. I'm not sure if my first comment was deleted?...?

[@zaidarivas7152]

Yuuuppp. I want to make a KZbin but haven’t had the time yet. They are monsters. And they’re jealous of everything and everyone. Can’t agree with you about Meghan Markle. She’s far from cruel. My sister is a narcissist. Meghan is not even close.

[@jilross4892]

And often times they provoke the injury with the way they speak or behave towards others. Maybe thats unconsious though

[@IvanRosandic]

My ex girlfrend is narcisst and my mother and my sister. I bilive its epidemic in womens word narcisist. I am from Croatia ,Europa and here evribady speak just about man narcisist. But a think its epidemic of narcizam women word

[@Raymond-v4c]

How pathetic is it that your parents togetherness is only because of her threats and blackmail by your covert narc mother to destroy her husband’s life if he left her . My father went his whole life without knowing the true love of a woman (wife) only suffering and hate . To the outside world she was a good person…at home EVIL in human form . Verbal abuse lasting til she was to tired to yell usually around 2-3 am in the morning fall asleep with headphones on weekly. Walking on eggshells in a huge understatement!!!!! Just glad she didn’t poison us.

[@penny544]

You forgot Daughter in laws😢

[@pagejackson3389]

I like your content a lot. Personal opinion, your intro is too long. Personally, I want to get right to the content. Hope that's helpful, not hurtful.

[@Maria_Nicola_Ward]

I COULD LISTEN TO YOU ALL DAY, DOLL. THANK YOU SO MUCH! BEING AN EMPATH, CAN BE DO DEBILITATING. IT KEEPS YOU STUCK. BUT THANK YOU FOR ENLIGHTENING ME. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU❤