The Epic Games Store is a Landfill for Crypto Shovelware

[@StaxKarratGang]

Wonder how this video is going to age 🤔

[@jauwn]

I could say the same about your profile picture, which I just right-click saved.

[@videogamerNattie98]

Like fine wine given how the NFT market is going.

[@scoonie6186]

Have you seen the nft market right now? Almost every single nft now is completely worthless.

[@Hisnitch]

Cope. Seethe. Mald.

[@Damian-03x3]

Please be a parody account... It's weird that nft's are still a thing that exists in 2023.

[@DD-zh4by]

I met the developers of My Pet Hooligan at work. We were hosting an NFT "convention". 2,000 people were expected to attend. The final tally? 300 people. Almost entirely comprised of exhibitors. I watched a guy play through the level they had set up a dozen times. It got so desperate the exhibitors tried to sell us, the staff working the hall, on their ponzi scheme. It was very fitting, and embarrassing.

[@thecolourfulpill]

@@DD-zh4by Sounds rough. I'd honestly hate to be anywhere near these people, so I legitimitely feel sorry that you had to be there.

[@hardlikepotatoe1361]

Can you imagine being related to some of these people?

[@theunknowman12]

Well at least you get them paycheck for that experience

[@blueleaf1513]

It took steam years to accumulate a mountain of low effort, copy paste type games and somehow Epic managed to do the same in less than a year, even worse since some of these are full on scams.

[@Lewtable]

Tbf it didn't take years as much as it took removing quality control. For years there wasn't that much low effort / scammy / shovelware games on Steam because they were fairly strict about what was allowed to be sold on Steam through the Greenlight system. Hell, I remember there being indie games that were big successes like Shovel Knight running their small campaigns trying to get people to acknowledge them and vote for them to get greenlit on Steam. At some point they stopped doing that and it got immediately flooded. There's still some standards as to what is allowed to be sold, but as long as you don't break those standards it is incredibly easy to get your game up on Steam.

[@kylegonewild]

@@Lewtable The Greenlight system was not strict at all lol. Part of the reason it was scrapped was how easy it was to manipulate and get dogshit "games" greenlit. They ultimately decided it was better to just make everyone pay the same cut, remove games that violate your Terms of Service, but otherwise rely on buyers and word of mouth to keep you from wasting money on asset flips and obvious scams. There's a sea of trash on Steam but that's no different than the sea of shitware you'd find in the bargain bin at brick and mortar stores for decades.

[@dojelnotmyrealname4018]

Things were way worse in the past. Steam got good at hiding shovelware. They're still on the store but since they're not on the frontpage nobody gives a shit. The greenlight era was horrible in comparison. @@Lewtable

[@the-handcuffs]

Steam has tons of early access games that just get canceled, not longer being developed and then you get nothing back. Epic has refunded my money i spended on early access games on there plattform, without me even taking any actions about that. it just came out of the blue.

[@MacMashPotato]

@@Lewtable or the indie dev could just ya know, pay steam the 100 dollars to have the game listed.

[@LexiBelleGaming]

You know a dev has a high bar for quality when they name themselves "Playable Games"

[@IdiotamSpielen]

Playable Games is thqat name that I would give my company in a simulator, but not in the real world...

[@operator8014]

Higher bar than Ubisoft.

[@oneofthoseyoutubeusers]

@@operator8014 'Unplayable Games'

[@williamdrum9899]

Playathreeull

[@soupcangaming662]

@@operator8014 C-grade games

[@josemedina1805]

Big respect for Steam and their stance against this stuff. At this point, Epic is only known as that game launcher you check once every week to maybe claim free games, if they're even worth claiming, of course. They clearly don't want the average gamer to use their platform.

[@jauwn]

The free games lately have been pretty underwhelming / bad so I've stopped using it even for that. Right now it's only for crypto games, and the once every 3 months I play Fortnite

[@Marvin-mq9rk]

You said it perfectly ive never spent a penny on the epic games store I only ever check for free games and even then I still don't check it every week or consistently at all

[@josemedina1805]

​@@jauwnYeah, either bad games or repeats of good games they've already given away multiple times.

[@bigweld6792]

Steam just has a different type of shovelware, there is so many asset flip hentai puzzle games on steam it's crazy

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

I only really know Epic as the Unreal Engine launcher, I keep forgetting they have a tab for games too

[@OldSpaghettifactory89]

Steam banning nft and crypto games may have been a blessing to the devs, if they were on steam everyone could tell from the charts just how dead they are without having to play them

[@rattlesnaik]

This is probably not worth commenting, but the gas station called Pass'n'Gas in the rabbit game is literally stolen from the early days of Fortnite. They can't even come up with their own jokey name for a gas station.

[@jauwn]

Lol and the car is from Cars

[@questionabletopic9652]

even older than that. 7 days to die has used that for their gas stations. and that game predates fortnite@@jauwn

[@LmaoJohnny227]

@@questionabletopic9652 Wanted to say that, still can't forget that game.

[@williamdrum9899]

One of the few things I liked about the bunny game... and it's gone

[@kamikan22]

the shooter moba is literally a copypasta of a shooter moba on epic that released when mobas where a thing

[@monody]

Also, Nexus is not just a Lyra flip. It's also a Paragon flip. Those moba assets they used are all from Epic's discontinued moba that they plunked onto their asset store for free.

[@firefireburnjunk]

I was just thinking that when I saw Nexus come up lol. I'm glad to see another cultured individual.

[@cubezapper]

I thought so, looked really similar to Paragon

[@atrane365]

At least they put the assets to free use. I kinda enjoyed Paragon when it was up

[@sandakureva]

Those assets are a godsend... if you intent to use them to learn how they work. Of course, these crypto devs are just being super lazy.

[@galloviking4766]

Man I loved Paragon and its death is the reason I hate Epic's guts so much. Lt Belica my beloved.

[@GabbieTheFox]

The thing with Blanko's is that it was originally an Early Access game with no Crypto or NFT functionality at launch (and it had in-game item trading without the NFT integration) and during that first year, it had a relatively small but thriving population of players. But as soon as the pandemic hit and NFTs started exploding in popularity, the developers shifted focus to shoehorn NFTs in, which understandably immediately alienated it's existing playerbase. Sad to see that it got abandoned and died out.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

The whole visuals make me think someone thought "What if we combine Fall Guys with Minecraft/Roblox"

[@KnakuanaRka]

What a pity. ;~;

[@MrPrajitura]

Honestly, the art style for Blanko looks quite cute. Too bad it got massacred by the crypto bros

[@aimthemarkvenjoyer]

That's sad ngl

[@emilyofjane]

Neopets almost suffered the same fate. Thankfully, they somehow managed to avoid it, but I know all too well how this sort of decision can destroy a community. I’m so sorry you all had to go through this.

[@elliotelliotelliotel]

my pet hooligan just makes me sad tbh. lots of decent potential. the idea of a rabbit themed cartoony shooter with looney toons logic where everybody is some kind of vengeful bugs bunny has a lot of appeal but the literal lack optimization and the insane nft integration really kills it. imagine if you were running around dropping banana peels in doorways and setting up anvil traps, or having your characters legs do the cartoon running spin and then flattening yourself into a wall. but no, nfts. money is the bane of creativity

[@JustDatBoi]

Problem is, these games aren’t made with passion. Their core focus is to rope in more people so the top can make more money and so the users and get back at least some of their investment.

[@Kaloozi]

You can’t convince me these devs weren’t expecting Fortnite credit card kids to play their games and funnel money into them

[@pyroparagon8945]

Itd be easier and simpler to just use ye olde microtransactions.

[@joshpatton757]

Pretty sure Blankos was trying to be the next Fall Guys.

[@Dr_Andracca]

@@pyroparagon8945 Sure, but as stated elsewhere it is easier to get funding from out of touch investors who think NFTs are "the next big thing". Also, it is easier to get whales if they don't see their wasted money as wasted, rather as an investment that "might" turn a profit.

[@CRF250R1521]

web3 you own all your items, with microtransactions you own nothing. @@pyroparagon8945

[@blakewhite3131]

​@@joshpatton757imagine having millions and losing out to stumble guys or whatever

[@ViaConDias]

Stop comparing crypto games to 10 or 20 years old games. Making a great game back then was clearly a lot easier when all you had to do was be a very skilled developer and build your own game engine and all your assets without any of the free tools available today.

[@tibsky]

you're right. it's an insult to those older games.

[@ethanwasme4307]

the more accessible programming becomes the worse off we all are for it

[@AJ-po6up]

@@ethanwasme4307 Then imagine how much worse AI will make things in the future.

[@moronicalmeister]

​@@AJ-po6upexactly. Were already seeing it with ads. As ai does more, everything will become the same quality as youtube ai ads

[@thehoodedteddy1335]

Making a great game now is just as easy if you don’t set your bar as high as modern AAA game graphical fidelity and scope. Hedon Bloodrite, DUSK, Northern Journey, Cruelty Squad, Splortch, Cave Story, Undertale, all of these games were made by single digit developers, if not just one. Maybe it’s just that the people who actually have the heart and care about making good games all see NFTs as completely anathema to what they love about games and refuse to take part in their adoption because they are useless and harmful, not to mention they’d price the vast majority of people out of being able to play their game?

[@CompagnonDeMisere25]

Steam: "Hey! Here's a 15% discount!" Me: "Awww! You are so sweet." Epic Games: "Hey! Here's a free game!" Me: "HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!"

[@williamdrum9899]

Susan from accounting strikes again!

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

The fact that Epic gives away some pretty good games for free is the only reason I have it even installed. Recently I thought about getting some DLC content for one of said games, but then I remembered that it's on the Epic store.

[@soupcangaming662]

@@HappyBeezerStudios Everything is free if you look hard enough.

[@dr.cheeze5382]

​@@soupcangaming662 Yarr matie! If buying isn't owning than sailing the seven seas isn't stealing!

[@cumcumcum148]

​@@HappyBeezerStudiosfor me it's fortnite. I know I know. Cringe. I thought so. Started to play with my wife about 3 months ago, and I like it. It's simple, interesting, and with my "No buying skins" policy, I have a pretty good time

[@Demonsouls1993]

im glad valve banned those scam games

[@CrystalWings12]

​@@Callahan-zg6jnWhile I hate shovelware games, the only thing that I hate the most is play to earn games. That type of game is far more worse than gacha games.

[@bullettime1116]

​@@CrystalWings12thing with gacha games is you go into them knowing what they are and expecting to light your money on fire anyways, these games are just people on copium

[@jaimayy]

@@CrystalWings12the worst part is that the people who play those are some of the smuggest people I’ve ever met online

[@emib6599]

I just remembered the "stem dumpster fire diving" from some years ago. A video where you search for scam games on steam. Now that video format seems to have disappeared. I don't know if it's because steam got better or the other online digital stores got worse.

[@shemsuhor8763]

@@emib6599 Steam definitely didn't get better.

[@Omega-lj9tq]

I love these videos, watching crypto bros slowly get more and more insane while they insist unity asset flips are the future is pure entertainment

[@Chinothebad]

They'll keep coping and saying how this NFT junk got them fancy Italian cars and great wealth while denying the fact they wasted money and time on things that amounted to scams.

[@vintagewander]

​@@Chinothebad yeah and the devs are the ones will have fancy Italian cars lmfao

[@ViaConDias]

You just don't understand it braw It's the future braw Have fun staying poor braw while we go to the moon with X-genius, X-conman, X-racist, X-facist, X-Elon X-Musk-X Is what the crypto bros will tell you 🙂

[@Chinothebad]

@@vintagewander rught after pulling the rug on whatever idiot there was dumb enough to think an asset flip was a good idea to throw money at.

[@sageoftruth]

Not to mention those ridiculous marketing videos of theirs. "Hey look at me in my edgy black hoodie. I'm a total rebel, working against the system. Now buy my game." It's funny how people who prop themselves up as people who never have to try hard at anything can come off as the biggest tryhards.

[@GlassbrainZ]

When someone advocating the EGS to you tells you that Valve lets anything onto their platform, remember the treasure of the giantess.

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

Okay, I have one thing in favour of EGS (but not against steam): They give away games. Some pretty good one even. But they still won't get any money from me.

[@sorakafutanari]

unironically the treasure of the giant ass was better than every crypto game we've seen simply because it's fucking hilarious.

[@vectorequinox6202]

@@sorakafutanari At least the guy who made it was very, very happy the entire time he was making it with his one free hand

[@LegalPhantom]

Then you remember Epic has been firing people and cutting costs while Steam hasn’t said anything and the Dota International is running without a problem. It seems the “work hard, not talk” approach to things work.

[@jauwn]

Yep laid off like 800 people

[@Hisnitch]

Laid off a 800 people while still hiring and reporting record profits. Truly a great company, that Epic.

[@PineappleDealer37]

​@@jauwnmeanwhile valve doesn't even have 800 people working at it

[@ImTakingYouToFlavorTown]

And they are giving 40% of the Fortnite profits to the creative mode creators. Meaning they are burning millions to pay people who make skibidi toilet red vs blue tycoon.

[@LasagaMan]

@@ImTakingYouToFlavorTown Epic has the same kind of fuck you money that companies like Nintendo and billionaires like Elon Musk have just by keeping Fortnite updated and licensing out Unreal Engine. Gabe (and all of Valve) could've been able to do something similar if they licensed out Source Engine like Id used to with IdTech.

[@1un4cy]

Epic: we'll curate the store to prevent trashy games Also epic:

[@goldenhate6649]

Considering epics AAA titles aren't doing so hot right now (cough Borderlands cough), pretty sure Sweeny is just in it for lining his pockets and splitting.

[@haydentravis3348]

But who checks Epic isn't trashy?

[@RepresentWV]

Fall guys used to be 60 player lobbies, now they’re down to 40 about a year after going ftp. It’s sad.

[@CoralCopperHead]

Also Valve:

[@MajinObama]

@coralcopperhead685 Bad games exist it’s totally fine, but unlike Epic Games, Steam allows Reviews 🤡 Did you forget about that?

[@user9267]

2:30 This is just fancy language for "we do not actually use the blockchain at all, everything is done on our servers just like any other game"

[@zachb8012]

I'm a software engineer, business software not games, and my friend left the company I work at a couple years ago to work in, "game dev". Obviously making video games is like the funnest time someone can have programming and my friend tries to lure me to this new job but when he explained, "it's a shooter like CS:GO but all the items are NFTs". I was thinking, "wow... you're gonna be unemployed in 6 months." Well, he was, but I can't help but wonder if the game he was working on was featured on your show. Probably not, there's like 10k of the same lame game.

[@jauwn]

Do you know the name of the game?

[@yousef858]

I genuinely can’t comprehend that people still fall for this, its the Nigerian prince scam all over again

[@fntthesmth423]

@@yousef858 as somebody who's looking for work in software, I can see where the guy was coming from. To be clear, a lot of people like this are willfully ignorant to crypto's flaws, but just as many need to put food on the table and make rent. They say beggers can't be choosers, and that's espescially true for poor folks in today's job market! Even in a supposedly lucrative field like tech

[@lightningkitten]

@@yousef858 it's literally every scam rolled into one. moon plots, gambling, phishing, fear of missing out, pyramid scheme, etc

[@lightningkitten]

i wouldn't be surprised if half these games straight up rootkit your pc

[@periwinkle3556]

My cousin actually worked on My Pet Hooligan. The crew behind it is actually pretty cool, despite all the crypto shit. They were also incredibly pressed for time and there was a lot of behind the scenes shit that went wrong, which is probably to blame for the poor performance and missing features..

[@jauwn]

Very interesting! It would be cool to talk to someone who worked on the game and was willing to talk about the experience, without having to dance around difficult questions a current dev would refuse to answer

[@tatertime]

Honestly, the art style of the characters isn't too bad in my opinion. There is obvious polish that would be needed, but the characters fit well, and they gave me a loony toons vibe. I like consistency and even if the rabbits were not "good looking" (which I think they were fine, it was an art style choice) it is consistent and that is more important

[@unfunnyclown5959]

Pretty cool people=\= crypto bros

[@artsyscrub3226]

@@unfunnyclown5959 So fun fact not every dev who works on crypto games likes crypto, making games for a living is hard and you have to take contracts when you get it Always blame the core team not the devs they hired because the devteam might not even know it's a crypto game to begin with.

[@unfunnyclown5959]

@@artsyscrub3226 how could one possibly make a game without knowing what the game is and either way you're still supporting crypto

[@CyberSpider35]

Remembering recent NFT market crash I think we could safely say - Steam approch is wright and Epic is not.

[@jauwn]

No dude Jauwn is wrong and NFTs are the future and this channel is just FUD and DO SOME FKIN RESEARCH NEXT TIME

[@unironicallydel7527]

@@jauwnto the moooooon

[@Dr.Quarex]

The moment I saw the overlap between crypto people and Joe Rogan fans I knew it was Avoid At All Costs

[@onadaTotihotiH]

“Recent” lmao

[@midori_the_eldritch]

How did it crash again? It's meen near nothing for most of the year at least!

[@UCXEO5L8xnaMJhtUsuNXhlmQ]

The hooligans game looks like it doesn't even bother culling assets you can't see. That's really the only way I can think of that could make a game perform so awfully

[@GeometricPidgeon]

No, most engines cull right out of the box, no need to manually set it up. The problem is probably MUCH MUCH worse.

[@goldsteins7819]

@@GeometricPidgeon Elaborate, I'm curious as hell

[@domaxltv]

@@goldsteins7819 Okay so if your rendering priority is set up correctly, the engine will smartly decide what objects you can or cant see and automatically unload the objects you cannot see, this requires some setup on the devs' end and isn't fully automatic unless you perfectly place down all objects in the correct loading order, I believe? Games like escape from tarkov, for example, have this done terribly and sometimes objects you should see are unloaded due to distance while also keeping other objects loaded no matter what, which leads to quite poor performance, especially coupled with the rest of the spaghetti code that is present

[@goldsteins7819]

​@@domaxltv Oooh thank you! I've heard of the concept but never knows and haven't searched on how exactly does the process work.

[@FamousAmosBurns]

I have inside info. That's 100% what is happening and why it has bad performance. There is a world partition bug in UE 5.2 where when a cell is reloaded, the mesh doesn't reappear. Instead it's just the collision so you have invisible objects blocking your way. The only fix right now is to have objects loaded all the time. With over 5,000 destructible objects throughout the map, it cut the performance in half. The patch that went out yesterday got back 10-20 fps which was a massive improvement but there is a long way to go. Keep in mind, this game is early access and the team wants people to play and give honest feedback. Criticisms are incredibly helpful. The game won't get better without it. Also, in terms of the crypto aspect the game currently is a traditional game with no blockchain elements in it. There will eventually be optional blockchain components for people that want to buy and sell rare skins to make money while playing games (similar to CSGO) but for those that don't want that they can play the game traditionally without it effecting the gameplay. It's really about giving options to all gamers.

[@binboii2210]

Cripto is gambling for people that don’t want to admit they’re addicted to gambling

[@Rosemy12]

You're honestly better off gambling.

[@artsyscrub3226]

@@Rosemy12 At least with gambling I'll get real money

[@warp9988]

@@artsyscrub3226 Yep. Crypto is where when you play you lose real money and when you win, you get worthless digital bits.

[@PeaceOnStix]

Seeing My Pet Hooligan caught my attention, because I actually met people working on the company! My professor invited them to talk to them about animation stuff; they didn’t mention ANY of their NFT-related stuff. Wild! Lol

[@CrystalWings12]

I guess they didn't want to mention anything about that game with the 'eneftee' trend is dead.

[@limcw6092]

Their animations actually looks really good, the nfts not really

[@noahlovotti7722]

It's hope that some are not too far gone

[@julietravelvlog]

well they tend to get laughed at outside of their echo chamber so there's nobody to pass the copium around

[@thelyric2751]

Yeah those are likely some talented artists wasting potential in an crypto-based company. Imagine if an actual indie game studio brought them on to make a game like splatoon.

[@clarisrichter7966]

Another reason why Steam remains king. I've never once browsed the Epic Store and went "Huh, I really want this game". Their algorithm and store front is sub-par compared to Steam, and even though I occasionally get shovelware suggested by Steam, the majority of the suggestions are things that align somewhat with my interest.

[@yousef858]

Atleast steam shovelware is funny, cheap, and mostly no scams were involved. You buy them one day while hanging with your friends you laugh your ass off and you uninstall it

[@CaptainRhodor]

@@yousef858 And a good amount of shovelware titles are meme games that some bored dev slapped together for shits and giggles before selling it to turn a quick buck off of like-minded memesters

[@ozvoid1245]

It's a beautiful cycle.@@CaptainRhodor

[@emilyofjane]

Pro move: Right-click save as your My Pet Hooligan character and mod it into Half Life 2 Deathmatch

[@ScottieTheFox]

blankos was so upsetting because when it was originally announced and i heard about it it had zero mention of being a blockchain/nft game and then it suddenly became a core part of the game

[@KnakuanaRka]

Apparently the early access version even had something of a fanbase before they shoved in NFTs and scared everyone off. What a pity. ;w;

[@NoxDolore]

Every time i look at my game and think it's awful, i watch these and remind myself that it will never be as bad as this. Thanks jaun

[@SkafosGnW]

What sort of project do you have going?

[@NoxDolore]

Horror game dealing with anxiety ^^

[@SkafosGnW]

@@NoxDolore Nice, best of luck with it! If you think of it, you should post here once its done

[@NoxDolore]

It's a huge project but.. I do have something working. Maybe I'll post.

[@Youkuri]

For a second i read jaun as juan

[@KingKrouch]

That giantess game even has the default UE4 mannequin walking animations too 💀

[@d3v1lsummoner]

So the voice of the character in Treasure of the Giantess, it's the audio files of Cassandra from Soul Calibur 2. I'm about 99% sure of that. I mained her and mitsurugi so I picked up on it fairly quickly. There's a specific damage clip that's very obvious too. I've compared it to a youtube video of SC2 and I'm fairly certain I'm right.

[@jauwn]

Yeah you are right! A bunch of other people pointed it out too

[@d3v1lsummoner]

@@jauwn i figured some others would have noticed, but after quite a bit of scrolling I didn't find the other comments. Which makes sense considering how many there are. Glad I'm not alone in hearing it.

[@GreenChillZone]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed. That game was my childhood and I still pull it out fairly often so all the voices in it have burned into my mind.

[@ThatNotSoAznKid]

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned it yet but the pink haired girl is literally a stolen and heavily modified model of Ayane from Dead or Alive

[@artsyscrub3226]

@@ThatNotSoAznKid I thought she looked familiar! Litterally Nft: dude can i copy your homework? Other games: yeah but don't make it obvious Nft:

[@DustinKBoggs]

I really love the random VHS horror transitions with no relation to the games lol. Makes me think the games are going to be cooler than they are.

[@Dannnnn375]

I put all my money into web3 because I thought I’d get rich for doing nothing. Now I’m mad that you make these videos, it makes me upset and I want to cry.

[@jauwn]

The real wealth was the bagholder friends we made

[@Omega-lj9tq]

L + you fell for a scam

[@_crowfisher]

scams are scams bud

[@BlackXixo]

The general rule is: if it is too easy, it's a scam. And then you do the research to either prove or disproved the claim, not the other way around :/ Hope you get back on your feet soon

[@blockchainprofessor.x]

You put it into the wrong thing. Crypto goes up and down and projects get rugged. Digital identity is next

[@blar2112]

Friendly reminder that all that people are not investors, they are gamblers.

[@angrybidoof847]

Same difference really

[@kylegonewild]

To be fair, your odds of striking it big are higher at a casino than in crypto.

[@Cowpowblaow]

FACT: 100 percent of gamblers quit right before they hit it big

[@dojelnotmyrealname4018]

Investers are just glorified gamblers tho.

[@CK-lt6jl]

Wrong. Investors make informed decisions based on what data they can get and based on predicting what people are willing to give money for. Gamblers are just retards.

[@RinAldrin]

The last game looks like someone found a bunch of NSFW models and went "I can make a game with these"

[@maverickhunter999]

Makes you wonder how many of these games devs were actually forced to add crypto shit to get funds

[@jauwn]

More than one for sure

[@recon_p]

I've worked at a company making NFT games before and as you can probably imagine, all of the devs hated the idea of crypto and the fact that they had to work and balance the game around it. They knew it was pointless too as the writing was on the wall for NFT's and everyone could see it except for management and investors. They predictably went under not too long ago. Sure makes me feel bad for the actual developers of all these other crypto projects

[@thetheatreorgan168]

@@recon_pare you allowed to disclose more since you’ve implied that they collapsed?

[@recon_p]

@@thetheatreorgan168 Sure, though I won't give any names, especially since they did treat me pretty well while I was working there. There isn't much to say though. We were working on a game as mandated by the higher ups that nobody had any faith in even if there weren't any NFT's attached. Still, since we were all juniors, we at least saw it as a good learning experience for making games in Unreal (of course)

[@thetheatreorgan168]

@@recon_p ah

[@notadragon4904]

Buff doberman nft man could fix me

[@notquitehuman5097]

NGL, my pet hooligan aesthetically wise looks really good and stylish, it reminds me of those old edgy collectible toys that were all over the place in the 2000s. I bet it could have been a somewhat successful game if it were developed by a competent studio that doesn't give a fuck about NFTs.

[@blackbox-yk8zk]

a proper deathmatch game other than halflife/tf2 mods sounds real nice, but i feel the art style is just too scummy to work

[@RipRLeeErmey]

If they cleaned up the art style a bit, optimized better, and made more, smaller maps instead of one giant map I could see this on it's way to being a fun little multiplayer indie title.

[@soundrogue4472]

No, no it doesn't look good. What are you smoking?

[@ScumSookar]

"Good and stylish"? Do you even have eyes?

[@jellifygirl]

@@ScumSookar It's all relative. It has semi consistent characters that aren't completely nightmarish to look at, and even almost has an art style, where have you seen that in an nft game? before?

[@sageoftruth]

I'd expect nothing less (or perhaps nothing more) from a community that disparages hard work as the result of low-level thinking. I imagine they would cut every corner they could find, thinking they were "Innovating" their way around having to work hard at making a game.They're basically the enemies of passion, and we know what passionless games look like.

[@ComotoseOnAnime]

12:17 "Despite this the falling animation is actually really good and the way that your rabbit hits the ground is kinda like a Looney Tunes character." That's because it is exactly how a Looney Tunes character hits the ground, specifically that's the diving animation of Bugs Bunny from an early playstation game called Bugs Bunny Lost in Time and he hits the ground the same way, arms extended and legs folded backwards over their spine. It's probably not a direct copy but it's probably inspired by it and scenes like it from Looney Tunes

[@kaydee66781]

Tim Sweeney still wants to turn Epic into a “leading metaverse company.” I won’t be surprised if they introduce crypto and NFTs into Fortnite. They’re really setting themselves up for total collapse.

[@goldenhate6649]

Honestly, them putting NFT's into Fortnite would be right up his alley, minus the possible legal ramifications considering most of crypto is illegal. And its not like you need crypto to have a store like that (as mentioned in the video, CSGO). At the end of the day, the value of digital assets is completely artificial and can disappear at any time, hence why the US has been moving to ban the removing physical currency.

[@KajuTheRudeMonke]

"They’re really setting themselves up for total collapse." Good. They deserve it.

[@george_denbrough]

Nah, it's just gonna be a Disney hellscape now

[@ChillavaKirby]

wait... has there actually been ONE crypto game it this point that has actually like, you know, fully released? Seriously. Even just one? How is this still happening?

[@jauwn]

Technically Spider Tanks was the first one ever to explicitly say it was RELEASED. But then it was abandoned immediately after.

[@ChillavaKirby]

@@jauwn well done Spider Tanks. I salute you o7

[@earthwormjim3269]

There is heaps of them, you just don't hear about them because they're not very good. There are no AAA quality crypto games that are fully released as yet, but there are quite a few in development.

[@ChillavaKirby]

@@earthwormjim3269 I mean he’s gone over several of them. They’re almost all entirely in perpetual alpha states of completion.

[@HellecticMojo]

It's because it's meant to be abandoned by design. You are supposed to buy quickly and sell at highest value.

[@mariosonicfan2010]

blankos looks like one of those early 2000s toys-to-life games, except without the part where you actually get to physically own the toy.

[@GalaxyfullofStars]

Bruuuuuh, rip Blankos. I remember getting FLOODED with their ads on KZbin. They'd low-key lie on some ads and advertise the game as a "virtual world" game i.e like Club Penguin and such

[@eddiii4030]

Oh god, I didn't think the giantess game would make it into the video. Jauwn u absolute madlad

[@jauwn]

It almost didn’t, KZbin really doesn’t like it. I had to go over the top with censoring

[@TorIverWilhelmsen]

@@jauwn Seemed more fun than the NFT games tho. Also, I noticed that the EPIC store warns about 18+ content when looking at NFT games, naturally.

[@jauwn]

Ironically that game is only rated M, despite having 100% full uncensored nudity. Actually insane that Epic even allows that stuff, a minor could've easily bought it since Epic doesn't verify your age or anything.

[@CainXVII]

​@@jauwnwell, that thing clearly isnt a human

[@autobotstarscream765]

​@@CainXVIIJudging by that death animation where she shrinks and flies off erratically, she must be a balloon because she pops like one when she dies, which would explain her body shape but mean that the Epic Store has entered _that_ side of the Internet. 🤯

[@ramencat6408]

There was a Godzilla nft for blankos and they posted about it on the Godzilla KZbin channel. If I remember correctly they took the post down like two weeks after it was made.

[@LegionIscariot]

I remember i think it was Sweeney himself who said they won't let bad games on the EGS. That was in the early days when they tried to pretend their intensions were noble.

[@demonicspire1345]

I like how the giantess game was more entertaining and captivating than any of the other games you showed, even though that one probably had a single developer.

[@williamdrum9899]

And he clearly made the game one-handed 😂

[@playernotfound9489]

haha so funny 😐@@williamdrum9899

[@EeveeBoi777]

@@williamdrum9899the other one was being used to find inspiration

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

It’s like a trainwreck you can’t look away from.

[@coldcsd]

bonus footage section is a hint toward jauwn becoming a giantess-type game streamer

[@jauwn]

No (Yes(Maybe))

[@fdaapproved6477]

I like the aesthetic of the scene transitions in this video; they all ooze a fun, if decrepit vibe. Very fitting for games that are seemingly an endless stretch of ghost town, which is a shame considering. I hope the people who worked on these projects are humbled by the ghoulishness of it all and resolve to do better, but such is a matter of their own choices and self reflection, not ours.

[@BigBuckies]

the people who work on these games never learn any self reflection because they make a bunch of money off early adopter crypto bros and late adoption bag holders, and then abandon their game with zero repercussions, the crypto game sphere is full of these types of dev teams who solely exist to make money off ppl who are constantly trying to become millionaires because they backed the next big thing

[@twotruckslyrics]

the transition aesthetics 🙏🙏

[@TheHuskyK9]

15:34 You can tell zero furries were involved with this as the anthro characters look uncanny as hell

[@PeeperSnail]

Blankos actually seems to be inspired on art vinyl figures, which are the thing that Funko aped and turned into a consumerist nightmare. But honestly, before the NFT correlation and even before Funko made it standarized and normie, art vinyl figures already had the problems that would bloom into the issues that would come later. Like, I’m gonna be real with y’all, as a graphic designer and illustrator, the bulk of vinyl figures out there are butt-fucking ugly and expensive. People think the soulless standarized design was a Funko addition but it was always there, vinyl figures in a collection always had to adhere to a set shape, and many didn’t even allow for extra bits to represent elements in a design.

[@mjjjermaine]

+1

[@twotruckslyrics]

aped?

[@legoferrari14]

​@@twotruckslyricsCopied

[@twotruckslyrics]

@@legoferrari14 oh! 😅

[@austinkasunic1291]

I pretty much always saw Funkos as a cashgrab, if I really loved this characters so much, I'd get a poster of them or an actual replica/action figure, not a homogenized, shrunk down over simplified version of the characters I like. Never really got the appeal of them, I will say the only thing I bought was a 1960s Robin Pez dispenser, which I thought was a fun buy for like $8

[@EspyMelly]

Nobody behind crypto games has the passion required to make something worth playing. Because you don't get into crypto unless trying to make easy money is your priority, and that mentality isn't conducive to the amount of time and effort required to make a genuinely good game. This is why traditional game companies have the people with that mentality NOT be the developers, they're the executive higher-ups treating their workers like garbage and driving their customers' good will into the ground.

[@x-x]

The chat feature was working just a few hours before you've started recording! I've wanted to see what that game was about and because I couldn't be while you were streaming (sickness) I jumped into the game and typed "kill me" after spending 15 minutes doing nothing and looking for players. Only then I couldn't access chat and I thought I was autobanned or something, but I might've triggered some kill switch and disabled chat, sorry!

[@samuelbunkly2527]

least schizo cryptobro

[@jauwn]

Someone who was playing clearly figured out how to use chat as well because while editing I noticed that someone did actually send a message. But the rest of us couldn't get it to work. Strange for that to even be a problem but I'm sure the developers will fix it soon... right??

[@x-x]

@@jauwn Im sure they're active in the community and have their best interest in mind

[@CyberVonCyberus]

What the fuck are these excuses ? Lmao. I'm going to need a shovel for all of that bullshit you're trying to feed me.

[@cogbait]

@@jauwnsounds more like the issue is that only one message can be sent per server before the chat dies

[@ole-martinthorsen6996]

Nice "introductory" images between each game, i love how you made them look!

[@jauwn]

Thanks! I put a lot of effort into them for this video, I even rendered them directly to VHS to get that authentic grime.

[@skutfox]

they showed Blankos at a PC Game Show a while back and I was legit hype. Was basically NFT product before NFTs were mainstream. It fooled me, but then I realized that no one would want to pay 150 dollars for their Fall Guys skin.

[@TalpaTulpa]

15:07 18 NAKED COWBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RAM RANCH

[@HenriqueRJchiki]

COWBOYS LOVE BIG HARD THROBBING COCKS

[@subaru4920]

Epic has tried *EVERYTHING* to get customers to use their store...except actually improving their store of course. Who needs features to compete with Steam? Why do anything Steam hasn't already done for their customers or for that matter why do anything Steam HAS already done? All Epic needs to do is charge you money and to install a different game launcher!

[@unironicallydel7527]

its almost like crypto/nftbros arent actual gamers and while they'll invest in a product, they never have any interest in playing it.

[@sigh9257]

The Jauwn squad segments were hilarious - almost enough to offset the depressing states of these ugly and soulless games. I’d rate this viewing experience a solid 37 of 41 ten-thousandths of a cent. The perfect roundness of the shiny globe ass in the last game disturbed me too much to give full points.

[@lesigh3410]

Give in to the globe ass

[@shadow_shine3578]

Something really funny to me is Chunko pop I think is the name of the knockoff versions in cruelty squad

[@celarts5752]

I can't believe that Treasure of the Giantess was better than any of the crypto games /s

[@steeledminer616]

Technically yes; It was the only game that was playable beyond getting a dozen people together just to let it exist.

[@mopolita7215]

Well, adults game are made to be played, crypto games are made for money

[@npiper]

Nobody really WANTS to make a game about off brand Funko Pops or Vaguely Racist Rabbits, they want to make money. On the other hand the person who made Treasure of the Giantess WANTED to make a game about a woman with a giant ass jumping around and achieved their dream.

[@crizmeow8394]

I’m losing my mind at that one it’s basically one of those “you won’t last 5 minutes in this game” ad scams, they just need to ask for your credit card info free the character dies

[@kylegonewild]

@@mopolita7215 Bingo. There's not as much money in the space since it's considered a bit taboo by the mainstream but the people that pay for adult games will pay well for any shred of quality, and a lot of creators develop the games on their own time at their own cost. You can find completely free adult games with more passion and effort put into them than crypto projects with millions and millions of backer funding.

[@alicealysia]

The bonus game at the end was honestly 20 times more creative than any of the nft games were.

[@CyberVonCyberus]

I have to give credit where it's due; using dancing poles with full rotation as a parkour tool is pretty nice.

[@yachi2274]

19:08 0_0 WOAH THOSE ARE SOME BIG HONKERS!!!

[@pasketti4644]

I used to be sad that I was a few years too young to jump on BC/crypto before it blew up, glad I didn't now because I know I'm too exceptional to have not lost it all + some

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

Too young when? Wasn't the crypto trend earlier this year? :0

[@galacsinhajto]

​@cupriferouscatalyst3708 I have lost count of the bubbles that have popped. If you really wanted to be early and turn a profit the best time was pre 2017.

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

@@galacsinhajto well, the only way to turn any REAL profit is to have a lot to invest to begin with, as is always the case with trends like these, but yeah I could've sworn this stuff wasn't around before the pandemic 🤔 not that I remember much

[@BigBuckies]

@@cupriferouscatalyst3708 crypto was certainly around before the pandemic, but nfts are a rather recent thing, being only around for a few years at this point, the og cryptocurrency, bitcoin, has been around since 2009, and ethereum, arguably the most popular cryptocurrency, has been around since 2015, and a bunch of other crypto crap has been released between those years and after, the pandemic is what brought most ppl's attention to crypto as being stuck at home and being uncertain about your job security and future led alot to the promises of crypto, which is to make a bunch of money while not being beholden to banks

[@Melggart]

@@cupriferouscatalyst3708 The optimal time to enter bitcoin was 2009. At the time you could get plenty of it with the cost being just the use of your GPU to mine. But of course, it was not obvious it would blow up and there are many cases where people with up to thousands of bitcoin lost access to it, being losing their storage or just the password. Don't forget about the famous pizza that was "bought" with 10.000 bitcoin. Which is mind-blowing money even today, after the market crashed many times. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. Sure, some people got rich, but the vast majority are bag-holders.

[@alexv3375]

6:47 _"$400,000 to fire that gun, huh? Yeah, money well-spent!"_

[@QuintusCunctator]

I'm torn. Torn between being depressed about the whole NFT shenanigans, and laughing my buttocks off because of this show of incompetence (and the horny Prince of Persia ripoff, of course). Does this prove that NFTs are a zero sum game?

[@Delmworks]

A zero sim game because there are zero sums of money to be made

[@pikmin_79]

I love your crypto game videos, they are very entertaining. I like watching bad games

[@AlexH4774]

21:36 sounds like some dude walking by a brothel lmao

[@planescaped]

12:53 Man, I can't wait to get some Holligans™ branded shoes and changing my Holligans™ kitty litter before heading to work to run my Hooligans™ productivity software.

[@thetheatreorgan168]

Cant wait to get HOOLIGANtm branded angle irons! And who could forget the all-new HOOLIGANtm branded vinyl siding?

[@sweetypuss]

my pet hooligan actually looks like it's had some real love put into it. shame it was dead on arrival, as pretty much all crypto projects are.

[@wgetJane]

holy crap its the creator of cadaver calamity

[@sweetypuss]

@@wgetJane this is the first time i've been recognized for my work in the middle of a random comment section. ign gave it a score of 3/10 and said its nearly impossible to beat without implants w/ default weapons only. but i balanced the map around how i personally like to play the game, so ign can shove it

[@3u-n3ma_r1-c0]

@@sweetypuss LMAO based response

[@RealLenny]

@@sweetypuss "ign can shove it" :gigachad:

[@higueraft571]

@@sweetypuss based

[@SeventhWhiteCat]

Mad props to Jauwn for doing this research, just watching anything related to crypto is so soul crushingly depressing and sad. It's not even the fun kind of bad. I can't even imagine the mental fortitude required to play one of these.

[@abhiwankenobi7172]

6:56 copium huffing is so strong, you can almost hear it

[@lavendersmallarmscompany]

Who are you? Oh you're here to check out my Blankos? I'm absolutely nuts about these guys. Must have spent over $100000 on them by now. Do you have a favorite? Me? It's hard to choose. They're all my children. Man it's so nice to meet another Blankos enthusiast…

[@jauwn]

No, I would NEVER open my Blankos. They belong in their boxes. Bask in the awesomeness of my Gorbino's Quest Limited Edition 1 of 1 Blanko Chop.

[@KuraMad2000]

Lol. Epic like "we won't have adult games" Also epic, "here's an adult game"

[@FoNgThOnG]

Those folks definitely took the money, put 10 dollars into making their games, and used the rest on themselves.

[@MilesHadley]

It's devastating that they made Chunkopops by Goatse Tech from Cruelty Squad real.

[@snowcloudshinobi]

19:00 what everyone clicked for

[@calebtitler1847]

Ironic, considering when they first started they said, we'll have a quality standard that doesn't accept crappy games, that didn't age well

[@amalgamation6954]

The cruelty squad music in the background is 🔥🔥🔥

[@WipZedKay]

It's still weird to see crypto games ali- no wait, alive isn't the word I would use to describe these things...

[@xavier6130]

Undead?

[@justnoob8141]

@@xavier6130Unborn

[@edd.5169]

the lowercase play button is unsettling because it means no one bothered to change the style code

[@MinoriGaming]

Wait *that's* what Blankos is? I saw the ads and assumed it was a late arrival to the toys-to-life genre a la Skylanders or something like that! It was NFTs the whole time? Fucking hilarious!

[@TactiCATS]

"BAZINGAS?!" -Jauwn 2023

[@jauwn]

Gonzales

[@ThompYT]

at 16:13 youtube recognized "smash that like button" and played an animation under YOUR video to like it! wow!

[@jauwn]

dude I saw that, so annoying

[@michaeltylerstewart]

I am SO glad you are covering Blankos. Out of all of the NFT games, it's the only one that actually looked interesting enough for me to download.

[@johnsmith1764]

To be fair, Funko Pops at least don't immediately vanish into thin air once the NFT is no longer supported and can be decentish if you get them for a low price and don't overspend on speculation gambling. In a overpriced bad toy sort of way.

[@appalachiabrauchfrau]

they just kinda suck cuz you can make a better figure with a spoon and some soft soap bars lmao

[@Peteruspl]

How it started: Epic - We'll be a PC game storefront but a premium one, How it looks like now:

[@COD_HATER]

Each time I see paragon assets in some trash money grub game I wanna cry😭

[@TheHeavyshadow]

Man, I remember being somewhat hopeful about the EGS before it launched because I hoped with some decent competition Steam had to step up their game in terms of curation and service. Turns out all the EGS did was lowering the standard for how bad a huge platform can be.

[@MajinObama]

Well their store was already lacking most of the functions Steam had, and they made a ton of people upset with the exclusivity deals of games that were promised to come out on Steam… can’t be much of a Competition from the get-go if they can’t even begin to compare to the competition -_- And the bad decisions from the Start. But yeah true, some people did cope into thinking that because of Fortnite and when it stole Rocket League.

[@AgentSapphire]

The sad thing is that last game looked like it had more gameplay in it than any of the NFT games. And a lot more engaging since some of those jumps at least looked pretty hard

[@Nogardtist]

remember winners dont do crypto cause we warned them and look what happen being sceptical and even hostile is the way of the future cause thats what we have to deal with

[@QuinnyOnMain]

honestly the litmus test for games in general should be "could you make this in 30 minutes in Roblox" if yes? it's not a well made game

[@FregoliFent]

0:50 i know the cruelty squad soundtrack better than my mother's voice

[@georgeandrews1394]

"A launcher inside of a launcher." Paradox and Digital Extremes do this, for example. Some older console games ported to Steam do this too. It seems a bit silly outside of the console ports, though.

[@pyroparagon8945]

Foreign companies that make a lot of money from selling data do this too on both consoles and pc. Conquerors Blade and War Thunder come to mind with their launchers made of spyware. Its for money.

[@higueraft571]

@@pyroparagon8945 In Warframe's case, it MIGHT be to simply keep everything "unified"? I cant say the same for Guild Wars 2 as i dont have the Steam version, but i wouldnt be shocked if it too had a Launcher from Steam, much like the Standalone version. Especially since they tend to allow you to change game or launcher/download settings before you actually start said game among other things... They DO have separate accounts (at least Warframe, again unsure about Guild Wars 2's Steam Release, if it's a Steam or Arenanet Account), but that'd probably one thing i'd hope gets merged together...

[@MorbidlyObeseChihuahua]

I remember seeing the Blankos game being advertised during the last E3 digital event in 2021. Just to show how far E3 has fallen.

[@AirknightTails]

1:22 LOL. Even though I own a bunch of Funkos, I find that comment Hilarious

[@Blucario90]

I really feel like Epic Games fundamentally doesn't understand what makes Steam good as a platform.

[@HellecticMojo]

They launched without a shopping cart. I don't think they even know how digital shops operate

[@freakstreetfighter]

I always think "There's no way anyone is stupid enough to get into nft's" then I see people complaining they can't do anything with what they paid for.....then I laugh

[@SeriesOC]

We're gonna need a full playthrough livestream of that Treasure of the Giantess game