The Frustration of Failure is ALWAYS Better Than The Humiliation of Going Nowhere

#masculinity #selfimprovement #motivation
Failure stings. Failure burns. Failure can be the heart of your dreams being ripped out from you, and crushed before your eyes. Failure is shameful, painful, humiliating.
And it, like much of the unpleasantries of life, is unavoidable.
I’ve been writing this post, and re-writing it, for about 3 days now. Every so often I get reflective. I have a long memory. Perhaps not quite eidetic, but very vivid and far-reaching. I remember a lot of painful memories, humiliating moments, being a mess of a person. And for reasons best known to itself (it hasn’t opened up and explained it to me yet) my mind likes to wander there sometimes.
Failures in career, failures socially, failures creatively; romantically, interpersonally, academically or in any other facet of modern life, all sting, all crush. Any time you set yourself some kind of barometer, some kind of goal, you open yourself up to failing at it. Any time you hope for something you invite potential devastation. Worse still, success might taste sweet - honeyed and delightful, bringing high spirits - but it is only temporary. It lingers for a brief burst of time and fades. Failure, eerily, is also temporary as a state, but one than last much longer and can creep in at the edges of life, always there as a grinning reminder of inadequacy.
I’m no novice when it comes to failure. My life, such as it is, has been failing upwards. No matter how indifferent you try to make yourself, no matter how much you try to lash out or project the blame, failure is always painful. (Believe me, I’ve tried and you've tried as well). A stunning, stinging reminder of imperfection. An inglorious kick down into the dirt. Failure isn’t necessarily a tremendous collapse of everything in life either, it doesn’t have to be a great failure to hurt: even the disappointment of not meeting set-standards or expectations, or realization that we’ve betrayed core values within ourselves, can result in internal agony. Our interiority can be very fragile, sometimes.
I think one counter to failure is to treat it as a lesson. Failures can be teachable moments, however shameful, embarrassing, frustrating or agonizing they appear to be initially. Failure can help us improve as people, creatives, intellectuals, workers, friends and whatever else we can be.
What can be worse than “failing”? The answer is: not even trying. ‘The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried’, said Stephen McCranie.
If you stop trying or never begin in the first place simply because you either “fell down” before or are afraid to fail, you’ll never know how it could have worked out. The feeling of “what if…” will follow you day and night.
Of course, everybody starts a project in order to make it real. But if things don’t work out like you wish due to external circumstances, you’ll be able to learn from this experience. And know what you should change next time, how to take a different route or, what to look for in new goals (all of these options are, in my experience, freeing).
There is a phrase that I think “fits” perfectly in this case: “God: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Regardless of whether you are or aren’t a religious person (I am not), it’s always important to analyze what depends on you and what doesn’t. It is in your hands to do your best, but there can be many other external factors involved (political, economic, contact networks) that may or may not be on your side.
Knowing this will help you not to blame the “forces” you are battling nor to “victimize” yourself, but get you motivated to keep going to the next point.
Are you the same as you were years ago?
After I just graduated I made many ‘mistakes’ during my first job and also second job. But I embraced them because they allowed me to become the person that I am now. I can do things better than before. And I know there is always something new to learn from future mistakes.
Every “fall” makes you stronger, as long as you are willing to get back up. May this beautiful quote from the book “Siddhartha”, by Hermann Hesse, help you to keep it in mind: “We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps”.

[@Ndw1995]

2:00 don’t forget wasted years you will never get back. Some people get sick of ramming headfirst into a wall, and decide their finite time on this earth is better spent that chasing money or status

[@malcolmwhite72]

Hi, Mr. Forged, my name is Malcolm White, and I just wanted to say that I am such a big fan of your KZbin educational channel, and the value that you add to your video topics are absolutely incredible, and insightful as well. Please keep to do continuing this brilliantly motivational channel up, and running, my good friend! PS: DO you think that you can please do a video topic about why Black Sheeps are the chosen ones in life? If you don't mind?

[@Forged88]

Hey Malcolm, thank you for your support. As for the black sheep topic, I don't really believe in the "chosen one" supestition as the term can mean a lot of different things to different contexts. But in terms of analogy, black sheeps are rebels of the group the one that does not stick to customary routines and beliefs embedded by the group since its genesis. His incentives to venture outside of the group is what makes him either an asset or a danger to the group, since venturing outside and being a rebel requires the strongest courage & will because its a high risk move. And from the eyes of the admirers, he is the chosen one because he is the only one balsy enough to break out of mundane & contempting commonality to aquire new insights & experiences. But in the eyes of the despisers, he is basically commiting blasphemy and instead of being considered the "chosen one" he becomes the ultimate "villain", the "traitor"

[@cliveflintlock447]

This video is probably the video that I needed, I screwed up on a truck driver test the other day and I took it very badly.

[@me8751]

I failed my CDL backing test the first time. Had to wait 6 months to test again. Got it on my first try that time. Hang in there. 👊

[@cliveflintlock447]

Thank you @@me8751

[@Forged88]

If it matters a lot to you, it will hurt the most. But it will also motivate you the most if you can redirect your narrative

[@dire-decadence]

I've been doing this, intentionally. I've had enough; No more of this. I say that "the cost is great, but I'll be paying the price either way."

[@wafaken]

You channel is my go to when I need advice in life. It feels like everything is connected to me.

[@BLACK.DEVIL.12344]

best motivation and educational channel

[@BOBCOOL497]

I really needed this. Thank you for teaching!

[@johnlopez6100]

Excellent! Worth watching a good number of times just for the sheer motivation this video imparts. Thank you. Thanks a million!

[@Forged88]

Appreciate it my man 👊

[@johnknight9820]

We did it. It’s been 1 day. Let’s go!!!

[@rikai5344]

This video hurts a lot, because I am prohibited to ever try again in my life because I failed too often. They wont let me try again. I must not try again. They hold me back. They bar me from trying. My past failure has indeed an invigorating effect on my motivation to try again. But they wont let me ever try again.

[@Forged88]

Who are they? What hold do they have over your life?

[@rikai5344]

@@Forged88 The university. I spent 6 semesters there and in my last semester, they kicked me out for life because I failed statistics three times, after being forced-signupped into it. Bologna system is cruel. I can tank the lost time. But it is hard to suffer the humiliation of being actively prohibited from trying again. I am a different human now than I was back then. I am stronger now. I want to try again and again. The system was reformed by now. The system that has led to my downfall has been erased. Everyone today is being judged by a more forgiving system and they can sign up when they want to, not when they are being forced to. But still I am being judged via the old system, even though it doesnt exist anymore. I get punished for having failed 8 years ago, and the sentence is banishment for life.

[@ayoutubecommenter7494]

I want to mention that this soundtrack was especially good, went perfectly with the message and added a lot to it! I don't remember whether your other videos incorporated it so well or not but this one standed out, congrats for that and thanks for yet another valuable message which reassures than I'm in the right track!

[@Forged88]

Thanks mate. The last couple of videos I wasn't really working at my best because I was so consumed on how to evolve further and refine my style a little bit, since I was bored with the old style, so I wasn't really paying much attention to the music used and correlating them with the topic discussed. It was just about finishing the video ASAP. But now, since I've found the new style I like, I can put more focus on other elements that can add more color and definition to the topic discussed

[@Longngt77.]

EVEN before I start watching, EPIC turn around with your intro's , really sets the mode. Anyways back to the video.

[@ChiefWoad]

Thank you for sharing.

[@buckyhate7695]

Timely, as always, Sir. This is the kick in the arse I needed.

[@peterj223]

It was fortuitous timing to watch this video. Thank you

[@Forged88]

My pleasure mate

[@reckszkingzactivitiesrkat.4134]

Everything always goes back to the past or your childhood so for you to level up , get stronger & improve yourself then you need to cut all ties from that nonsense as soon as possible otherwise you ain’t gonna win in life at all short or long term 🤷🏾‍♂️✅. #GoToWarOnYourPast

[@sakshamrao6581]

You should make a video on complacency

[@Forged88]

I already have mate. Check it out kzbin.info/www/bejne/lauyo3ibd7-knqM

[@shaheemjackson283]

This might be a top 5'er from you, mate...

[@malone4735]

The Easiest Thing To Do In Life Is To Do “Nothing” 💯💊

[@bethelsheunesumasukume352]

And the hardest thing to do in life is to just keep going forward even though we fail over and over again and it doesn't look like we'll EVER amount to anything.

[@klover19]

"You'll never know if you're not the one who's continuing to take that path... unless you keep moving forward"-Eren Yeager Listen to me... It won't hurt as bad if you lose than you feeling joyful when you win. In some cases people not remembering a loser can be a blessing.