THE HAPPINESS EXPERT: Stop Chasing Happiness. DO THIS Instead | Sonja Lyubomirsky X Rich Roll

[@richroll]

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[@jimhershey9809]

Please Rich, have Dacher Keltner on as a guest!!

[@cathyphillips679]

The more of these videos that I watch, the more grateful I am that I had the mother that I did. She taught me right from the start... 1. Love is not just a feeling. It's not something that you fall into. Love is something you DO. 2. My happiness is my own responsibility. No other person can make me happy or unhappy. It is all up to me. It is a decision that you make for yourself. 3. Be grateful for everything. There is ALWAYS a silver lining.

[@jzen1455]

Lucky you! Growing up, I associated happiness with material things. The more video games, toys, and other cool things one had, I thought the happier I’d be. I also learned that love was transactional and that you could buy someones love.

[@sueronco132]

Love is something you DO, I agree. You may not always feel love towards your fellow human being, but you do the right thing, regardless. This has been largely forgotten in our selfish society. People are so busy chasing material gain, and promoting themselves. It's all so empty and boring. But if you step out of yourself and care for your fellow humans, you feel so much better. 😊

[@kellyowens4370]

I'm with Rich on the whole mother thing. There are a whole lot of mothers who did not and could not love their children because they didn't want them. Just one of the litter quotes from my mother "I never wanted to be a mother". I didn't ask she just wanted to say that to her child. Thanks mom I feel so loved lol.

[@JacquelineEstrada-d3m]

Always remember you are here for a reason and your mom was just the package, that was used. If you are here it's because GOD has a purpose for you. Sending you positive vibes and God Bless

[@GOD999MODE]

There are a lot of accidental and unexpected children being born into this world, and it almost seems like the Millennial and gen Zers are willingly not having as many children or simply cannot due to economic reasons.

[@ranaparker4825]

“Some people want to be happy, some people want to be right.” Wow. Loved this guest and conversation!

[@davidsmithrealtor21]

Wow, this is so good! Some people want to be happy, and others want to be right! Even if it’s at the cost of happiness! I know quite a few people like that! Nowadays, they call it Conspiracy theories; they prefer to be right about their conspiracy theories. Even if that means the world will end tomorrow, they will celebrate their rightness for a few hours before the end! My advice is to get away from those people and get close to those with whom you have a common goal: a shared future!

[@jsajeev3046]

I agree with Rich about how being extroverted takes a toll on me. I love my family, my friends but I decline most invitations to parties or large gatherings since they exhaust me and the conversation invariably goes into I have a bigger this and a bigger that... She also urges extroversion which is contradictory to her favorites quote by Daniel Kahneman of how happiness means that you want to continue doing what you are doing. I like my solitude and want to continue doing it! This tends to be a problem with a lot of psychology studies - generalization. When will we understand that biologically and psychologically each one of us is wired differently and it is basically different strokes for different folks and not a one size fits all prescription.

[@scota73]

Well said

[@pedro.almeida]

Yes. But she also says extroversion doesn't mean it needs to be with humans, that it could be with animals. And that's an archetype that you also see a lot, the old lady with lots of cats or the hermit that befriends a wild animal, and they are "better" for those connections.

[@נעמיכהן-ר2ל]

This is one of the most helpful and important conversations I've ever heard. Thank you❤

[@TechOutAdam]

Morning everyone! Hope you have a great week. ❤

[@sadiedesimone7460]

What a wonderful, meaningful, intelligent conversation. I am grateful to have been a silent observer. Please have this guest on again. We will all be smarter for it. Thank you. 😊

[@pumehanapalmer]

@rich Thank you for sharing what you shared about your mother because I am right there with you. In the last three months, I’ve decided to go “no contact” with my narcissist mother to preserve my mental and emotional health. What you shared was a beautiful response to what I was feeling within.

[@observer5864]

I did the same with my mom, and the experience humbled her to a large extent that later, when I confronted her about how she hurt me, she was ready to apologize. I never thought she would ever, ever apologise to me. I am sorry you are going through this, and I hope you get the peace you need.

[@pumehanapalmer]

⁠@@observer5864I appreciate that, thank you. I hope we can get there. But to your point, I’m working on finding my peace without her, for now 🥰

[@mccartyzoe]

Thank you Dr Sonja !! Great podcast Rich. Beautiful

[@agnieszkabrzostkowski6675]

Nothing better to just listen in the middle of Monday :)

[@mustafabaris9681]

Happiness to me is to wake up on a Monday morning feeling completely excited about the week ahead instead of looking for Fridays to feel happy that the week is coming to an end... If you don't have your ideal life yet use the weekends not to escape from the life you have but to build the life you desire ..

[@BrightWillow]

I really enjoyed this episode. Love how you put yourself out there, Rich! You're often saying what we listeners are thinking:)

[@NooranOstadeian]

Absolutely loved this episode! Thanks for consistently delivering such great content!

[@Zenith-d3s]

this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood

[@ToyaRochelle]

Americans are so focused on happiness because life here isn’t fundamentally happy. Cultural ideals don’t prioritize happiness. People in my country just “are” happy. They don’t have to inquire about whether they can be happier.

[@colleenmcdermitt2189]

What country do you live in?

[@cpkay33]

yet another much needed topic of conversation in my life. thanks for this.

[@johnspringer4870]

Arthur Brooks wrote an article for the Atlantic Monthly titled 'Aristotle's 10 Rules for a Good Life, An Ancient Greek Recipe for Happiness.'

[@mojeanin]

Lots of good questions and wonderful answers

[@ytfeelslikenorthkorea]

Happiness is a meaningless term these days, for the Westerners anyway (it's being mangled, abused, chewed and spat out by Holywood, media etc... so many times, that it lost all of its meaning). The way I see "happiness" these days is, when I try to fall asleep, I ask myself "was it worth it to stick around for another day?" and the happiness is the feeling of "it was worth it, looking forward to tomorrow". I was given a way out 6 years ago, decided to fight because my son was 12 at the time. And that gave me a completely different perspective on life. Most people have this idea of their lives being a long road, and they see themselves in 10 years time, 20 years time etc... make plans, imagine themselves old, surrounded by grandkids etc... Me? I'm respawning every morning "damn, I'm still alive... Let's f... go!"

[@marcelhall444]

Best episode yet. Thank you.

[@JohnStro]

The best explanation if heard of extrovert vs introvert is this. An extrovert is someone who is drained by being alone and recharges around other people. An introvert is someone who is drained by being around people and recharges being alone. I think people conflate introvert with social anxiety, which is different.

[@eriksyring]

11: Awesome that Sonja called out Arthur Brooks’s religion-infused opining! Greetings from a Harvard Business School MBA.

[@benjaminmorris811]

There’s no such thing as “happiness”. Humans need purpose to feel whole. Happiness is just another product that makes writers and so-called Gurus lots of money.

[@johnspringer4870]

I am going with St. Paul, "Be Joyful Always."

[@AbdulIbrahim-o3s]

Thank you so much 💓

[@juliebaker9266]

Gretchen Ruben - The Happiness Project. Great book.

[@kumarsourav298]

“I am your mother and you are my mother” seriously!!! The fuck is that! Hilarious

[@eriksyring]

1:15: No, you don’t devote all your energy towards helping the most depressed, you devote it towards helping 4,000,000,000 women live a woman’s live.

[@lobovutare]

1:20:30 Sonja says that men without children are particularly unhappy. I'd like to know where she is getting this. And where the study is that shows that men with children are happier than men without children.

[@nagoreoj.gabtrid]

Childless cat ladies are happy?

[@pedro.almeida]

Asked ChatGPT and it seems the evidence is a bit mixed, but yes some studies in some cultures seem to suggest men are slightly happier if they have children. But it might also depend on age. I'm guessing for some young men it might be a cause for stress and concern, but when you are older than you probably would prefer to have children.

[@instahewko7103]

This talk is great

[@burmakara]

Hidden Manifestation by Oliver Mercer (thank me later)

[@Seanonyoutube]

“His holiness” is such a weird way to refer to a dude in 2024

[@maevey3]

Hahaha so true! Like " your royal highness" & those old stuffy conventions! No thanks! 😅

[@DKR-1881]

I know, really. Thinking the same thing.

[@thornburymatthew]

😂

[@a_perfect_human_being]

I mean, considering the circumstances he’s endured throughout his entire life and the level of compassion and altruism he still embodies despite all of that, I think that antiquated title is still fitting.

[@eriksyring]

1:19 Happiness statistics: This is for humans who live in couples, not for humans who live in tribes.

[@GraceRose-us6jb]

Thank you!

[@loidepolli6132]

Rich, please interview Esther Perel. It’s going to be epic!

[@KirkPatrickqa]

this video format suits me a lot

[@iyernil1]

You cannot search or aspire for happiness - it just happens - it has nothing to do with past present or future and when life or the moment is never about past present and future - it is happiness

[@LinkinThomas]

THE HAPPINESS EXPERT SEEMS UNHAPPY?

[@nGAhGENVH0Ul]

If I watch this episode will it make me happy?

[@enatp6448]

No way am I happier when I'm trying to be extroverted. my guess is that most introverts would feel the same. Don't know that I believe she was an introvert and now she's an extrovert. I'm guessing, more likely, that she just became more comfortable with herself. Shout out to Susan Cain for de-pathologizing introversion.

[@pedro.almeida]

I was in the same camp but then she hit nail in the head "extroversion could be with animals" and then yes, for sure, I was happier when I was with my pets, even though their loss stays with you forever.

[@SageOfEchoes]

I’m miserable and never been happier!

[@debramak5]

How does a mother find happiness when she sat at the bedside of two of her adult children while they died. Are there circumstances where happiness is not an option. Where does love go when you are the mother and had to witness this? How do I come back from this and believe I could be happy again?

[@78Wedin]

I pray I never experience this to know for sure but I know our children need us to be happy and find our way when they are alive and I can't help but feel that that is what has to still be done. I say explore every piece of your being. Every thought you think, every interst, every bit of what you are left with in this life in honor of your babies who loved you with everything. Where can you serve? What can you create? Our lives are multiple lives in one and this is your life after the loss of your children...I say make it count and gain whatever your spirit needs to gain in this.

[@myviq]

This is interesting things

[@josabetepinto4394]

exactly, stop thinking about your selfeves. think about the world

[@LanaHobie]

read the forbidden book Magnetic Aura on Borlest, and you'll see the secrets they're keeping from us.

[@claudiacorral4559]

Money = Happines ❤

[@thomascantrell5207]

What is that orange band that Rich is wearing on his left wrist?

[@bluebridgepictures]

Whoop

[@Efren-Patrick]

full support

[@ToddLeoe]

finally

[@eriksyring]

But conversation between two people who, like essentially everyone of the same generation, think that humans naturally live in pairs.

[@ShaneHarveyMusic]

Do you want to be right or happy? Because you cannot be both at the same time.

[@josabetepinto4394]

we have to stop to make escuses because you are introvert or extrovert. just do what works and will make you happier. in countries with need there are no this questions, this is a western problem!!! do you realise that. thereś no introverts or extroverts when you fighing for life

[@YolandaAlbergottie]

Everyone is your Mother…not resonating 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@peterlynchinsights]

❤

[@katerynakochergina7235]

Shall it be happiness or rather pursuit of content ….would love her to comment on that but well not in this podcast 🙂

[@Ap-sy5nt]

Do things for others. Literally the oldest message on earth. Its all in the bible and even without that this is really old news. It’s an insult to people to act like we need an “expert” to tell us the obvious

[@melissazwieg2988]

🥇✨🥇✨🥇✨🥇❣️

[@allardvanderstarre]

its so incredubly boring thids, u i just leave it all fed up with life i guesss

[@seamusconlan9673]

The pursuit of happiness is bullshit.

[@allardvanderstarre]

boredom badumbdum-Buzzcocks

[@josabetepinto4394]

maybe you could go to palestine and talk about this

[@dainasworldnumbers88]

🥱

[@chrisgodwin8473]

She's way over her head being interviewed by Rich Roll. Body language, nervousness, hair flipping..not as experienced in the topic as she thinks she is and what RR thought.

[@deniselebeau9874]

The Dalai Lama…… obviously haven’t seen the video with him and the young boy asking him for kisses on the mouth.

[@martinboyd447]

I give my cat mouth kisses. I have no sexual attraction or inappropriate thoughts about my cat. People like you make uncomfortable to even show affection to the people requesting it.

[@risingseedsphoebeseeds9752]

Lick my tongue, I believe it was

[@risingseedsphoebeseeds9752]

Dalai tried to say it was cultural

[@TashiSamdup-vh2wp]

The video is edited by chinese and made it viral

[@AnotherAmy]

Haha! He probably pulls this crap out of fortune cookies before meeting with his privileged clientele.

[@josabetepinto4394]

its disgusting how the worl is going through war and suffering and you arebtalking about your privilege

[@gdaqian]

dont listen to happiness experts. no such thing

[@blklagoon76]

Girl fix your hair and nails

[@marcussachse9353]

Maybe she has realised that dosent matter so much

[@medicinaintegradamarciatelles]

awesome

[@yallgonemadd3786]

kamilla harris is the happiness expert !!! lol.... how'd ya like the hope and change from obama also !! lol...TRUMP NOW