This SKILL Is Our #1 Human Superpower | Charles Duhigg X Rich Roll Podcast

Rich sits down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg to discuss his new book Supercommunicators. This discussion explores the neuroscience and psychology that shape our interactions and connection with others, and much more. To read more about Charles and peruse the full show notes, go here 👉🏾bit.ly/richroll815
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FILMED AND EDITED BY BLAKE CURTIS, DAN DRAKE & MORGAN MCRAE
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00:00 Intro
00:01:56 Weaving Storytelling into Non-Fiction
00:03:56 Supercommunicators and How Conversation Matters
00:06:09 Finding Mood and Intention in Conversation
00:08:45 Vulnerability in Communication
00:10:22 Golden Age of Understanding Communication
00:11:28 What Makes a Super Communicator?
00:14:03 Neural Entrainment in Communication
00:15:04 Connection and Happiness
00:16:26 Connectedness and Long-Term Well-Being
00:18:14 Conversation as Negotiation?
00:22:27 Deep Questions and Authenticity
00:24:26 Understanding Others' Perspectives
00:27:12 Authenticity in Communication
00:30:33 Urgency of Genuine Communication
00:32:17 A Learning Mindset in Conversation
00:33:16 Sponsor Break
00:34:39 Civil Conversation Experiment
00:35:34 Looping for Understanding
00:37:03 Training and Experiment
00:37:32 Online Communication Experiment
00:38:17 Adapting Communication
00:39:23 Impact of Communication Format
00:40:02 Online Discourse Reflection
00:42:02 Rehab Experience
00:46:18 Vulnerability and Connection
00:47:20 Optimism and Humility in Conversation
00:48:45 Strategy for Difficult Conversations
00:54:24 The Importance of Understanding
00:56:11 The Matching Principle
01:00:01 A Former NASA Psychiatrist's Vetting Process
01:04:11 Sponsor Break
01:07:45 Controlling the Parameters of a Conversation
01:10:38 Leadership and Respect in a Meeting
01:15:03 Habitual Super Communicators
01:16:46 Tools for Effective Conversation
01:19:01 Addressing Avoidant Conversations
01:22:08 Deep Listening
01:25:34 Pressure of Writing Another Successful Book
01:29:30 Personal Impact of Writing 'The Power of Habit'
01:31:16 The Importance of Connection for Changing Habits
01:33:16 Insights from Intimate Relationships and Family Dynamics
01:37:56 Understanding Habit Formation and Addiction
01:41:29 Transformation, Habit Change and Self-Reflection
01:44:40 The Power of Transformation and Growth
01:49:02 Connecting with Oneself
01:51:10 The Science of Small Wins and Momentum
01:52:30 The Mystery of Change
01:54:36 The Process of Change and Self-Discovery
01:56:53 The Power of Storytelling and Empathy
01:59:05 Optimism for Raising Consciousness in Communication
02:02:01 Closing Remarks
02:03:15 Credits
* * * * *
NEW TO RICH?
Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, visit my website or check out these two the NY Times articles:
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#richroll #richrollpodcast

[@richroll]

Thanks for watching! Don't miss out on these exclusive offers: PLUNGE: Use code RICHROLL for $150 OFF 👉 bit.ly/theplunge2024 SEED: Use code RICHROLL25 for 25% OFF 👉 bit.ly/seed2024

[@lindamon5101]

The like like like &upspeaking isnt very convincing. Please just give a couple swim lessons Rich. When anybody says honestly? Run. 2 highly educated men saying like way too much. Intention is everything. You guys are redundant. Right? Like? Hard to listen to. Sorry. Not sorry. Where was the super communication?

[@brucemah609]

Rich read the book..and he genuinely lives by what's in there❤❤❤

[@mamaisalwaysright2935]

I had an aha moment when they discussed how breaking an old habit is much harder and more meaningful than starting a new one.❤

[@AbdallahBotan]

Big respect to your Rich for inviting Mr. Duhigg.

[@melissamoore5275]

REVELATION! Communication is my love language! I am totally driven by it. It has looked like crushing on people but I realize it is the communication that drives me! Thank you for unlocking in me something I've been craving for so long.

[@janetshelley1361]

Love the vulnerability of these two men. How refreshing.

[@martinrybacek3992]

I 100% agree with You!

[@marianasalles242]

Rich is an enlighten human being💚✨🌍

[@lydiasharp6070]

Touched beyond words by your mutual respect and willingness to stretch along perhaps unfamiliar paths to better connection. Thanks guys!

[@sandralee3990]

Thank you for allowing us to be on your journey. Proud that you elevated yourself well. Yes you did well in your ads too. You can be a model too. In these times of misinformation where we are also suppressed, communication skills are still important.

[@gaBetibu]

. . . gentlemen, I'm trying to get to sleep, but just can't tear myself away from your, this most riveting chat...you two are both so uniquely insightful & also fun to listen to & learn from....too, too much fun learning & entertaining....God Bless You Both... 🙂

[@CandiceLMossArt]

Brilliant talk! I truly wish I could have grown up with this knowledge being dropped not only at home but at school. Thank you both for the work you are doing!

[@studentaccount4354]

Love, ❤Rich’s perspective that comes from the heart. I never heard of this author, Charles Duhigg. I think he can benefit from your growth experiences and choices. The focus on communications, the art of storytelling and business by journalist Duhigg was interesting. Emotional intelligence is something I am hearing about here. TYVM❤❤

[@gregbatchelor9205]

This might be overly biased in favour of extroverts (like most social concepts); the notion that the more social connections you have, the healthier you'll be in old age seems a little over-simplistic and generalizing. Ultimately, good health seems to correlate with being at peace with who one is and with the world surrounding us, whatever state that may represent for the individual in question. Extroverts tend to be less at peace when they have fewer social connections, introverts have the huge advantage of frequently being at peace in solitude and in their own company. It's therefore not entirely accurate to say that genuinely introverted individuals would be better off having to manage and connect with a greater number of people. Indeed, the inverse could be said: for introverts, a basic minimum of meaningful social connections (which is *not* to say none) could be conducive to good health in old age, whereas for extroverts they may significantly suffer under those circumstances in which introverts tend to thrive. All that being said, still an interesting conversation.

[@studentaccount4354]

Agreed, a few studies do not lead us to a 100% conclusion. Longevity, has multiple factors.

[@stephaniec7425]

As a 55 year old introvert I agree with what you are saying overall. I’m very calm and at peace when I’m alone but those five deep, soulful friendships I have are absolutely vital to my wellbeing.

[@martinrybacek3992]

I just absolutely loved this deep, fun and unpredictable conversation! I learned a lot and laughed a lot! You keep rocking Rich!!! Thank You both for the inspiring insights and your humor! Warm greetings from Prague, Czechia.

[@ginnybraun8576]

Love, love the interchange between these brilliant men, Thank you Rich! Great interview!!❤

[@joryiansmith]

Very cool and insightful conversation 😎 Thank you guys for sharing 🙏

[@timpunchill3374]

Eins der besten Gespräche das ich jemals gehört habe Thank Booth of you!

[@Taaashuhhh]

The Power of Habit changed my life.💖

[@famzini4424]

We don’t know enough about ourselves until we describe ourselves to somebody else

[@roniesousa1587]

This is excellent!! I learned so much and and love the way Rich interacts with the guest Thank you to provide us such useful and meaningful subject

[@nicwill8525]

This was a great guest! ❤ I enjoyed this conversation.

[@naturejelisabeth]

Thank you for sharing💜Such interesting perspectives & tools. Will re-watch and take notes!

[@whobark]

You have no idea how much the power of habit changed my perspective on habits

[@ZakBellinger]

Me too man. That book should be mandatory reading for every 8th/9th grader in the US.

[@abdulazizalmaneea177]

Beautiful episode! Thank you

[@patriciabafalis5870]

Customer service agent here! We have to say all of the pleasantries! It’s mandatory!

[@user-io9gr4rj4o]

This is such a nourishing interview/conversation. Thank you both :)

[@lb1798]

11:33 Super communicators are ALWAYS GOOD LISTENERS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@mandyluzmarquez1234]

17:04 it may be true connections cause greater success, but the connections may be a result of the reason and not actually the the reason for the results. That they have integrity and a good moral compass for example may be why connections develop and it trickles, but it’s a symptom to have connections and not necessarily the cause for the happiness and health.

[@scrapretroetc6775]

Loved this topic ☺

[@jns_dmd3636]

Best RR episode yet. Thank you so much for all YOU do.

[@ozarkcyn1]

I think from personal experience that people WANT to improve themselves when they are surrounded by OTHER people who think it's critical to strive to become the BEST version of themselves. And those who don't are surrounded by others just as ignorant and mentally ill as they are with NO desire to improve. You become like the 5 people you are surrounded by the most and the five they are surrounded by the most. Rich significantly improved because of all the things he's learned from his guests.

[@jonathanhawthorne1821]

My top 3 favorite podcasts thanks Rich

[@LoungeLady]

The 7th time thing is real! Never heard it that way but that’s A way- you’re right- there is a learning and a thought process behind “when x happens, I need a different way to navigate it” - love it!

[@Coopernicuss]

Cx service ppl are still seriously mistreated & marginalized even though it was laughed about (I worked for a large communication company in cx service, tech support & management for a decade) and it's worth a conversation about it with ideas for strategic empathy to do something about it. Regardless, this is an amazing conversation and a highlight of the year for me Rich.

[@patriciajenkins-galliford7583]

Definitly going to check that book out. Thanks so much for that podcast :)

[@robsalmon4794]

Great conversation. Some fantastic insights from you both!

[@Anonymous.User.0419]

Love your guest line up and the way you host them, Rich.

[@kwikitti]

This was a wonderful podcast - gonna buy Duhigg's new book! A request to RR: more podcasts about science and behavior: a podcast with Robert Sapolsky to gain insight in determinates of our behavior and how this can apply positively to society and our own behavior.

[@GraceRose-us6jb]

Thank you!

[@jaeespo5413]

So honest!

[@adam7763]

This is a good watch, thanks :)

[@mashotoshaku]

Fantastic podcast

[@KarineHalpern]

7:40 already actionable guys, bravo!👌

[@openyourown9784]

Need to read the book to see if there's more on the marriage issue, but I felt - from what I heard in this episode - that the main point (besides mirroring) was to not want to change or convince the person. The issue with that - for me - is that, just as Duhigg talks about not wanting to have a discussion with his kids, a lot of our issues comes from feeling like we need to persuade because an action needs to take place. And more problematically - for me - is when I get exhausted from feeling like my partner is trying to convince/persuade me and won't let go. How do you let things go when we need a resolution and I understand what you want and you understand what I want, but we're at an impasse as to what should be done?

[@nocando89]

Just skimmed the book at Target today. 😅 Planning to buy it with a gift card. I keep buying books to improve myself but i haven't started all of them because i get overwhelmed. If anyone has tips for remaining calm and soaking in information, please share!

[@yvonneraley3050]

Sharing your experience over giving advice ❤

[@spiral-m]

Wonderful conversation. Nothing new for me but great reminders and empathic Dialoge

[@brucemah609]

I LOVE YOU BOTH❤❤❤

[@nathanpoole-mccullough9104]

Epic!

[@racheldanczyk6248]

You can be right or you can have a relationship. You can't have both.

[@MalenaTaylor-jl3wg]

Very good podcast episode But some of the stuff about social connection, the nasa psychiatrist and Gottman are a bit misinterpreted. I’m in the psychology field so I’m Being extra picky but the takeaways are still improvement for people with toxic or less than stellar communication skills. The nasa psych didn’t specify to the person asking a question but to them connecting about the loss so could have been an empathic statement for example. Gottman discusses bids for connection as the most important aspect to crate intimacy as well as avoiding contempt - not matching. Extroversion is also correlated to depression so social capital isn’t measured quantitatively but qualitatively.

[@Eatsleeprun_rescuecats]

This was a great conversation.. Too many Don’t have conversations any more with people who do not share their opinions or beliefs.. I find that worrying and probably the west is in such a mess as everyone’s in an echo chamber. When I’ve tried to have conversations around hot topics people get aggressive & try to “change” how you think rather than talking about the area.. you don’t have to try to change someone’s beliefs (it’s virtually impossible) just listen then happily agree to disagree..

[@ichbinnasrin]

Not two MEN talking about healthy communication. I love to see it

[@simamohandespour8067]

👏🏻 bravo

[@milleybee]

LOVE IT❤

[@hnttakata713]

Brilliant

[@peacefulisland67]

Breaking an old habit IS creating a new one. And creating a new one IS breaking an old one.

[@bringbackthefiretv495]

I reject the 45 age study and won’t succumb to it. I was changing out for quality connections and have been. Small family, etc but I will beat the odds! I will have close connections at 55 and they will be quality connection I work on building 😁

[@aarongiza1469]

I have a question coach, what are some the tips to become merciless in mma competition. I'm a good athlete so I perform well in the gym and grappling contest because there is no full power punch , but I'm too nice during MMA match. I only did two but I feel I'm way too kind , like in life in general. How can I solve this and get that mean side out?

[@jagadesh.d2563]

Sir please add subtitles 😊

[@jeaniekim9951]

Subtitles are available, but you do have to turn them on. Also, the transcript is also viewable. It is accessible in the description (look under “…more”). Hoping this is helpful!

[@jagadesh.d2563]

@@jeaniekim9951 thank you 👍

[@ba77leman.]

Click cc in upper right

[@ozarkcyn1]

Everyone who is listening to this certain pocast has a DESIRE to LEARN HOW to be a BETTER version of themselves so life will be better for Humans and we will NOT destroy the very existence of Humanity. IF EVERYONE from the ages of 15 to 100 and beyond listened with the intention of learning HOW to be a better human being conflict killing each other wouldn't even exist.

[@bethraflowers5799]

❤

[@Zayelion]

It sounds like this conversation with Rich and Mr. Duhigg truly resonated with many of you. The focus on healthy communication, emotional intelligence, and the power of storytelling seems to have struck a chord. What is it about these topics that made such an impact on you?

[@pippilongstocking2864]

It’s the media speak the art of conversation is to be just talk in a natural rhythm This stilted over punctuated vocabulary. I tune out

[@heidikamrath1951]

I love Rich’s vocabulary. I wouldn’t love it if he misused it. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, according to Jim Rohn. I wish I could spend more time with people who have a vocabulary like Rich does. It would elevate me.

[@enerjaia]

Communenegy

[@blueyomogi]

This was an extremely uncomfortable exchange for a long time but I kept hoping that it would evolve. It did, momentarily, but it was odd.

[@mikeslaughter6053]

Wonderful conversation. Enlightening as always!

[@maritlebliss]

So how do we get a Cease Fire?

[@jilmaorantes]

Totally I know like 20

[@seneca7170]

could you please change your channel name to "PAPPA TALKS" Because it's suitable in all ways. 😊

[@phoenixfireclusterbomb]

I can’t get people to actually answer the questions. Its like they haven’t thought that deep or has ever said it out loud.

[@BlackPearlMona369]

1:54:33

[@Harshi-jo6ol]

What is that skill??

[@rwielatz]

Communication

[@user-jy5gv8vc2x]

No worksheets

[@gangaselvaraj4165]

They look like twins 😂

[@mickeymonster9845]

I want all of you to help me help him

[@peacefulisland67]

Oh, I disagree with the statement that people can only be manipulated a couple of times... Charles is speaking from his own bias; his own experiences. I like to call it speaking from inside my shoes. People can be and are redirected multiple times, by multiple individuals, sometimes for their whole lives. Pretty easy to see that historically. Charles reminds me of one who might say, as an instructor, "This is easy." or, "This is common sense." It's all about one's genetic makeup and experiences. One's interpretation of existence. We wouldn't insist that a person understand the smell of cinnamon if they have congenital anosmia, or demand they get the gist of the colour red if deeply congenitally colour blind. It's funny how we do base reality on just our own. And the phone conversation comparison to in person? There is no comparison. Maybe we have adapted to hear better, maybe we do annunciate more clearly, but this is to overcome a deficit! A limitation! Would you check your emails during an in person visit? Do your laundry? Scrub your toilet? Every new level of depreciation in communication leaves another level of sensitivity and depth behind. And nobody reads these anyway...

[@Marvellouseffortthat]

Your table has shrunk??

[@pippilongstocking2864]

Swung it

[@rwielatz]

I think it’s sideways.

[@studentaccount4354]

Maybe, it had leaves that were removed.

[@jeaniekim9951]

Perhaps covid related.

[@pkpcmu]

There’s going to be video after video promising that same thing - you’ll get what you want - and we all know the answer is none of this. We should callout these to be sub truths that’ll never satisfy us.

[@dj.h7424]

..did you bother watching? if so that’s a very lazy critique.

[@heidikamrath1951]

Huh?

[@OnlyThroughConflictDoWeEvolve]

Clickbait is a better description

[@user-sq1yg5su1k]

I don't know, I think Charles is selling a load of bullshit!

[@speculativereality]

Is it me or did RR nuance himself and his esteemed guest into a mutually mediocre performance this time around?

[@GudLawdHammercy]

Yeah, Rich Roll is authentic. This guy recognizes Rich is authentic, and much more likeable - The dude being interviewed mentioned Democrats and democracy, which is like "ugh", this dude is so not genuine. Rich rolls with it though - Makes me appreciate Zac Bush's and Rich's talks so much more. This dude's voice is like a narcissistic professor, like he's looking for fault or something thay he can say he fixed or he found out, but Rich gets him to talk with a less "dickish" tone. Rich is spot on, but this guy is way off when it comes to "connecting", and the looping technique he uses seems super fake, like he's doing when he obviously doesn't have to. Rich is great at redirecting, and this guy tries to redirect, but then comes back with the narcisitic example for a response saying, "Why is rhis important to you?", which is not whay you should ask someone, because it should be obvious that it's important to the person. This guy just can't let his guard down.

[@truthseek3017]

BS, rich is a pos liar, but yeah the other guy is pretty funny.

[@wells235]

Don’t see it. He just thinks about things from a more scientific lens, which is interesting given the subject matter. Richi certainly doesn’t seem to agree with you.

[@davida1606]

This is my kind of stuff, I love this. 31:19 He's not mentioning or recognizing that Trump supporters don't care to communicate, they don't care what Democrats think or want, and do not want to be united. Republicans want all the power to enforce their ideology. You will never hear or see a Republican protest or fight for equality, peace, unity or Democracy. From what I can tell is that they are pro guns, dictatorship, violence, fascism, pro Russia and Nazi, and of course this all because Donald Trump supports and aligns to these things.

[@johnmclean6380]

70% or more of content is Host doing ALL the talking…by his own admission Rich’s goal is to “sound smart” to his guest 😢

[@rogerevans8081]

Has the mythic Valley Girl conquered? I really wanted to listen to this podcast because the subject matter to be discussed by two intelligent, thoughtful men, is of general interest for its role in individual and social well-being. But both of these men with super-elite education (Yale, Harvard, Cornell, Stanford) and records of real accomplishment constantly say "like" as a weird place-holding tic or as a meaningless substitute for something meaningful at that point, and they have been completely taken over by "uptalk"-ending sentences with the inflection belonging to a question when no inquiry is grammatically intended. Between the "like I'd like to do something like, like, illustrate this point" and the constant question marks dangling at the ends of sentences, my sanity required giving up on the podcast.

[@Jgrace767]

Interesting, why do you think that is? What ways do you feel opportunity for improvements could be considered?

[@prestoncram7507]

You sound like a guy who needs to start his own podcast

[@yanelimonjebenitez9456]

What do u suggest we watch instead?

[@MemoryAmethyst]

Rich, please don’t talk so much. Let your guests speak more. Have someone in your staff do word counts on several episodes for you and for your guest.

[@studentaccount4354]

Au contraire, I prefer to have Rich facilitate the conversation with his meaningful analytical methods. I hope he ignores your frustration trying to take in the conversation.

[@Mik.189]

😂😂

[@TechOutAdam]

Rich doesn’t talk over his guests at all. Lex, Rogan, and PBD are horrendous at talking too much.

[@wendysusanlovejoy3983]

I like Rich's podcast and listen frequently, but I agree, I would like to hear a little less from him and more from his guests.

[@dianecassinari6728]

I concur, @studentaccount4354. Rich knows exactly how much to contribute.

[@l337z0r]

Rich sounds like Kermit the Frog. 🐸

[@dj.h7424]

and what do you sound like? …