The Harsh Reality of Being a Foster Parent

Talking about the low points as a foster parent where you feel like you’re ready to give up. Sprinkle In some general updates.
✅ Video audited 8/16/2021
There is always a need for ❤LOVING❤, 💪SUPPORTIVE💪, and 🕒PATIENT🕒 foster parents who will ⚖ADVOCATE⚖ for the kids placed in their home. We hope that by us sharing our journey as a foster family, that it inspires others to learn more. Contact your county, foster care agency or visit www.adoptuskids.org to learn more.
⭐ Please consider granting wishes to children who are in foster care by visiting One Simple Wish: www.onesimplewish.org/giving/... ⭐
Connect with us on our social media platforms and check out relevant links: linktr.ee/bethevillage​
Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Let me set the record straight because I'm seeing a lot of assumptions in comments and I think a few points in the video are being lost: 1. Yes, we admit we violated confidentiality. We messed up. We agree we should receive this violation. 2. The care we give to the kids who are placed with us or the positive impact of this channel has not been in question. 3. This frustration is with the lack of information, the way in which we are being treated, and just the overall situation. 4. IT IS NORMAL AS A FOSTER PARENT TO FEEL THESE THINGS! And it passes, and you get back to doing what you have to do for the kids.

[@violetsnotroses3640]

I really appreciate your owning up to your mistake, and acknowledging that it is normal to feel bad about it! I would guess that it's relatively common for foster parents to accidentally violate some rules, because no one is perfect, and there are a lot of rules. I hope that this resolves in a way that is beneficial for everyone involved.

[@KidsnKats]

Being a foster parent is SOOOOOOOO difficult sometimes. You're managing so many different sets of emotions and egos (your immediate family, extended family, biological parents, social workers, teachers, therapists, and kids) and you're right, we're human, sometimes we mess up and then we own up. With all of this, it's important not to beat yourselves up about it. It may also be important to provide some feedback/ advocacy to the powers that be once everything is said and done. They should want to keep good foster parents and because of this they should also be open to improving themselves. Make sure you take care of yourself and find the support you need to keep going. Compassion fatigue is real and it sucks!

[@kathyhuff8935]

We fostered for 12 years and I did so much good and so much wrong ... we finally left because of the red tape/rules etc. I wasn’t one to be controlled to the point the system wanted me to be . Seems everything I did wrong , I was chastised and everything I did right was not seen. I loved all my kids, about 45 of them and they loved us and a lot still keep in touch and tell us we were either their favorite foster parents or the best foster parents sooo I must have done right by the kids anyway and that’s what it’s all about . We were Therapeutic Foster parents of mostly Juvenile Delinquent teenagers, the hardest ones and one Social worker told us after we stopped, we sure as heck were missed and they wished we would return because they were so short of homes . They should of thought to help the foster parents as much as the kids and we would probably still be doing it now in our 60s ! Good Luck and don’t let anyone push you around, you need the backing as much as the kids !

[@kellybroady6378]

Your goal from the beginning has been to inspire others to foster, to show the good, bad and the ugly. You are doing just that. You inspire me each and every day to be better. The love and patience you show these kids is a wonderful example of how to overcome difficulties. You are doing a wonderful job! We live and we learn, nobody is perfect. Ms. A, Ms. B, Mr. B, and little boo are lucky to have you in their life, no violation can take that from you.

[@jillianlea9690]

Thank you ♡ for sharing . Us foster parents know and appreciate the honesty

[@horsewithnoname12345]

It appears the system prefers indifferent neglectful foster parents than those that pour their hearts into it.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🙃

[@Rockinbaseballmom]

Agree 100%

[@jillianlea9690]

No. But they do not have the time or resources to suppirt foster parents . It is such a tough situation

[@barbibutton9619]

Agree

[@TheTrinity302]

Exactly!!! Just last week in my city these fosters parents beat a little boy to death that they had in their care 😔

[@DIV1D]

I’m in foster care and with all the different households I’ve been in I’ve realised that the foster care foundation actually prefers parents who don’t question them back and do as they say, however my parents have debated with them in many cases for my sake simply because they truely love me and want the best for me. It truely is a weird dynamic because I can’t tell if foster care exist to help children or not

[@SpiritCaliber]

Well said sweet heart. It's just a perfect example of something being too smart for its own good. So busy over thinking and "doing what's right" that they miss the whole point. God bless you love

[@tammymurphy1268]

Can I ask why you were put many different homes?

[@moobrien1747]

MAY THE WIND BE AT YOUR BACK AMD THE SUN IN YOUR FACE.

[@arthurkay487]

Sad, im a emancipated youth out of foster care and i can agree! The system is very flawed and corrupt

[@Angelface11]

Unfortunately the government generally doesn't care

[@flowerpower1054]

As a former foster child who is now an adult and ended up in a home that didn’t provide me with the love and support I needed. If you can provide the children in your home with that please don’t give up. People in those kids lives have already effected who those children will become in a negative way. If you can change that and help these children heal in any way, please don’t give up, no child should have their childhood taken from them. I became a social worker.

[@jencurry2512]

This gives me hope! the kiddos in our care were reunified recently. The circumstances were less than ideal(see comment above). Perhaps they will grow up and be the change "the system" so desperately need!

[@jccade836]

I am looking for information on what to look out for on mistreatment of foster kids. I have new neighbors that have 13 foster kids that are all home schooled, never go outside when other kids are out,never have kids or anyone over and not to mention it's a rural part of town. They are also rude and already started a fire on someone else property.

[@Farmer2492]

The organization never tells the truth we had kids dumped on our door step by the organization telling us its for the weekend 2 years later they were still at our farm then they send them back with there parents

[@delontashieldssr]

My problem with people who become social workers based on their experience, that usually makes you biased. A lot of children with parents who are genuinely trying, get taken because in the end it’s all feelings based. Also to the creator of the video, no matter how much you bond with the children, their parents are still their parents! A lot of people focus on the child ( and thats not wrong) But you’ve got to build with the parent(s). When my kids were taken, I offered the foster parent the opportunity to become extended family based on the fact that he seemed to want to keep my children together. Over time, we realized he was repotting to the worker things my child supposedly said. His goal became keeping my child. Parents mess up. Every one has. But it’s on the Forster parents to fix the disconnect with parents who have to trust you with their kids. Or people will continue to hurt!

[@jolene2334]

​@@delontashieldssr I agree with the other comment below yours. I would love to help a mother in distress take care of her child until she is able to. I think it's the most important to make sure the child gets back to their moms. You're always going to be mom. Keep doing the good work you're doing!!!

[@horsewithnoname12345]

There are foster parents out there that neglect and abuse their foster kids and it’s no big deal to the system. But one *alleged* mistake from people who give it their 100 is a big deal. 🙄

[@reneegoodin1317]

Exactly... Well SAID....

[@leojay1087]

What was the mistake?

[@TheTrinity302]

Exactly.. last week in my city these foster parents beat a little boy to death that they had in their care :/

[@MegaSwiming]

My wife and I got shut down as foster parents just because we didn’t honor the two week notice it’s not like leaving a job neither of us felt safe In are own home anymore the agency didn’t Like are choice

[@SelenaY.1331]

Thank you for saying this -former foster kid

[@shannonbrice8012]

I find it problematic that a person can have a violation for being on youtube but other foster families can have a bazillion children in their home and only doing it for the money and that seems fine.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🙃

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Both things can be true though, I get it. They are unrelated. But it’s a bit frustrating, yes.

[@Getlostandwander]

I know a family that still puts her foster son on social media and begs for free things for him because he's a foster and no repercussions but they are harassing this family. Infuriates me

[@62roxana]

As foster carers don't earn a wage for the care they give for the children. I can only presume, having a huge amount of children in your care, can give them extra income. Foster careers have their hand in their pockets all the time for the children in care. They don't make a profit at all. So accepting a huge haul of children can be the only way they make a profit. Hence those poor children miss out on the important things they should have though. There should be a law against it!

[@medwards1998]

ZC

[@jasonbarnett2333]

My wife and I brought I a newborn baby boy from the hospital and his 2 sisters that were 4 and 5 when they came here. We poured ourselves into these children for over 4 years, we became family..the bond that was formed is such a strong connection. They were sent to a home trial after 4 years to the biological mother and that was it, she cut off all contact right away, we thought that we would still babysit sometimes or still be a part of their lives somehow, but after 4 years, it was over that fast. It has devastated us all in such a way I can't even describe. We miss those kids everyday, it's been a year ago today since we've seen them. I especially miss the little boy, we were inseperable, always playing and always together. Nothing short of a father son bond. I hope no other foster family ever has to go through anything like this. We have tried to make contact or just see how they transitioned, but no luck.

[@courtneyofarrell5968]

That sounds heartbreaking! I hope you receive an update on those children. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@jencurry2512]

Jason it breaks my heart to read this. My husband and I know EXACTLY how you feel! We brought a 3 day baby girl home in December of 2017. In January of 2019 her 2 year old brother entered our life. We were told that we'd be adopting them and then a new Judge was given the case in January of 2021. Long story short they left our home 4 weeks ago. Their mom wants no contact. We miss them terribly but the greater concern is what will this do to them long term. They will surely deal with abandonment issues and attachments issues. There is no reason that reunification has to look like this. I truly feel that the kids that were in our care have now been needlessly traumatized and abused by the system. It is also completely unfair that their birth mom is now dealing with parenting traumatized children.

[@jasonbarnett2333]

@@jencurry2512 I am so so sorry to hear that this is happening to another set of children and another family that opened their hearts and home. Words can't express what your going through, and I can only imagine the children. It should never be allowed to happen like that after raising them for that length of time. That is the hardest thing to go through, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The empathy for the children is what has kept me up at night and given nightmares when I could sleep, let alone the waves of grief that comes along with it. We have hired a lawyer and are currently fighting this, because of the amount of time that we had them we apparently have a case, if u have the means to do the same then fight. We also had a new judge appointed, a new social worker that lied and brushed many things under the rug, including a dog bite at a home visit, things like this works exactly the opposite of what the system is suppose to be doing. I am so sorry for your family, and that includes those children, they might not be blood, but they are family, hang in there and stay strong

[@kadenhiggins9338]

After the kids have been with you for a year you have grounds for intervening. Why did you let this go for 4 years? A lawyer should have been hired at the 12 month mark!

[@kadenhiggins9338]

@@jencurry2512 always hire a private attorney if the case reaches 12 months and looks like it’s going to head towards adoption. Never lean on the system to steer you in the right direction. They’re there for the kids and the family. Not foster parents. :(

[@tammyk6358]

I was a foster parent 20 yrs ago. It saddens me that the system STILL does not value its foster parents.

[@nazstorytime2753]

☹️

[@TheWhites6]

They still see us just as babysitters.

[@lavanderpham6677]

Well they always demanding for foster parents🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Angelface11]

They never will. It's the children that matter though. Not our offenses

[@Angelface11]

​@@lavanderpham6677because good people get hurt...and bad ones don't sign up often

[@mariselasanchez9320]

We were foster parents for 6 1/2 years. Our license was closed because we were not “active”. I’m currently helping take care of my father and couldn’t commit to taking kids in. My foster kids are my priority. Even though our license will not expire until December 2022, we were told we would have to go through the whole process again. I feel like we are being punished for taking care of our family. I’m not sure I will foster again. 😔

[@dotthurman4323]

Weird. You have two years to recoup and deal with personal family matters. You need to speak to a supervisor. They are desperate to place folks have lost it plus have Covid.

[@Tecalitlan1943]

Many folks get licensed thinking its like a fishing license that can sit in a drawer somewhere. Being "active" is very important. You must remember that workers still have to monitor your home, which take time and resources. Its great you are taking care of your father, but please remember the system does not allow us to keep your license forever. I don't know your details (plus this is KZbin), but I share this as a worker.

[@unapologeticallyamy9031]

The kids you’ve taken care of appreciate you more than you know. The people at the agency are a big part of the program but they don’t matter as much as Miss A and the new kiddos plus your former fosters. You may not impress the folks at the agency but the kids are loved. You are doing really well. Take a walk, sip tea in a warm bath, hug all 5 kiddos and remember that you matter to those who matter most.

[@jenniferandrews6487]

Yesss 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@patrickgreen5298]

👏👏👏👏

[@brianagarcia8546]

It’s hard to be such a caring person in this world but remember: “Be soft. Don’t let the world make you hard.” Your empathy is such a gift and those foster kids are lucky that you are sharing that with them. Keep doing what you’re doing! Be passionate, be loud, and never stop caring. That’s what the foster care system needs 💖

[@BernalAzul]

Why is the system being worse with foster parents than with bio parents that have screwed or are screwing children’s lives?

[@leahcotton5315]

… right? 🤯😞

[@endobyotic]

Well if the agency is reading these comments at all, I hope they realize that some of us are here watching your channel to help us decide whether or not to get licensed. These real stories are the information I feel like I need to make a final decision.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

And just know when you are making the decision, everything in life has highs and lows. I just wanted to be real and show the lows before showing how we bounce back ❤️

[@Dexterosa]

I would think - the agency won't care. And, oh well, I would expect they will have some 'smart' speech.

[@enriquemanzo9328]

You should talk to foster children or even people that have aged out of the system talking to the people really living the life not putting it on KZbin where you can get paid for this stuff no disrespect intended

[@desertdweller9548]

​@@enriquemanzo9328 this

[@noragilson3322]

We took a year off from 2018-2019. We had some kiddos leave and go back to a situation we didn’t think was safe and it was all just too much. We came back with a different agency and have had 5 placements and an adoption since then. I’m glad we took the year off to regroup and find our passion again!

[@amyeli33]

That's good! Sometimes we have to take a break and reevaluate.

[@62roxana]

My heart feels for you Nora. Such a bad situation to have happen to you. I'm very close to becoming a licenced Foster Carer now in Australia. I'm eager and nervous all at once. I'm going to be doing emergency care from 0 - 2 years. However, I could have a baby for up to 2 years if the family are working on getting their child back. I'm glad you returned to foster care. It was meant to be I think. As you have adopted too.

[@aubreesummerhays2616]

After 3 yrs of having a child she 3 months when she was placed she And having so many people saying she would never leave your home then to have her go to her bio mom was just heartbreaking considering the mom has since gone back to prison just to much my heart is still broken over it

[@yeseniapastor7165]

Of she's back in prison why isn't the kid back with you?

[@leahcotton5315]

I did social work for 3 years. I have a masters in psychology / mediation. I thought it would be my life’s work (!) but I only lasted 3 years and part of it was abysmal pay, expectations to be available 24/7, mismanagement, realizing the higher ups did the least but were paid 10x what those of us actually in the field were paid, and not feeling safe after I was assaulted by a client (not his fault, he was severe ASD and needed to be in a more structured, staffed environment) and… Covid. Covid just did me in. It was insane - all the extra red tape and staffing issues and almost zero extra support for my poor clients. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was a shell of a person! Many tears leaving my clients. I’m sure you relate. So sorry. It’s super hard. Thank you for sharing your experience and thank you for helping these kids. Hugs

[@meredithmackenzie7856]

This upsets me. You here so many stories about bad homes that don’t get closed down. You two are wonderful. It will get better. I guarantee they don’t want to lose you.

[@meredithmackenzie7856]

@@sussannerandall85 That’s so sad. How can non foster parents help change the system?

[@twogirlsandapsychopath4879]

A lot of the turnover is due to the corruption that goes on within child protective services. I know 2 former caseworkers who quit for that exact reason. One of them claims she has PTSD from it. Unbelievable amounts of corruption.

[@gardenjoy5223]

And an insane amount of incompetence as well! The more power they have, the more power they abuse, it seems. There are good organizations. But those are few. The good people, who really care, are mobbed by their 'social' colleagues! Worked in a business environment before. People are much more civil there!!! You expect people with 4 years of social training to be social. They are the most a-social people I know! Love to lie, slander and abuse power. Love to hurt those in their care. It's an amazingly dark world.

[@methus57]

She very well has burnout & exhaustion......but PTSD is now being used for everything that is exhausting in society. Not everything is PTSD

[@AlisaBeel-mo4oh]

As a former cps worker I quit because I was having trouble sleeping worrying if someone would let the abuser back in and crying on Sunday because Monday I had to go back in.

[@sheilawebb9746]

As a biological parent, i just want to thank you & let you know how valuable your caring & nurturing attitude is. I stumbled upon your videos recently, around the same time that i had realized not all kids in foster care were put there because their parents didn't want them, & also around the time i was learning of abuse happening in foster homes. Around the same time i actually had my own kids taken from me, due to a family member having a substance abuse problem, & it was devastating, but seeing such a caring person like you as a foster parent was extremely comforting to me. My parents are getting certified to temporarily be foster parents, & i know my mom is practically at her breaking point, because of the amount of pressure they're putting on her, & fear of failure. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the requirements. They have so many rules & expectations for foster parents that it almost seems impossible at times. Fortunately, in my situation, it looks like I'll have custody back very soon. But please know that your love for the children you foster is so immensely appreciated!

[@irenebarnett4742]

You probably should take some responsibility…. You probably weren’t fit at being a parent and as a result there in the system. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@sheilawebb9746]

@@irenebarnett4742 well aren't you sweet. My kids are not in the system. A social worker either misunderstood something i had said or deliberately lied, & used that as a basis to take them, & they're not in the system now. I did everything they asked of me and then some, & got custody back within 2 months. You really don't know me & have no understanding of what you think you know, so you're in no place to judge. You're just a troll who needs to put others down to feel good about yourself. Have fun being the judgmental person you are.

[@mkenz4227]

As a fellow Ohio foster parent, my heart hurts for you. It's so clear through your channel what your intentions are and to feel so unappreciated and unvalued is such a blow. Please know that the Be The Village community is behind you every step of the way. We see you, we appreciate you, we value you. Thank you for being this resource, you truly helped me on my journey into becoming a foster parent. I can't wait to see what you guys have next. ❤

[@margaretthym8234]

Stay strong Mama Bear! Don't back down from your convictions. The Be the Village community is strong - made that by you, with you. You are doing an incredible thing, and sharing important information. I'm sorry that someone felt the need to make you feel otherwise. They are wrong. At the same time, thank you for sharing your vulnerable thoughts and feelings with us. Knowing that people don't do that unless they feel safe means that you have a safe, supportive environment. So glad to be a part of it. Sending you a virtual, socially distanced bear hug!

[@13Laynie]

Yes!! That is what makes me upset about the foster care system! They do billboards and commercials saying "you don't have to be prefect to be a prefect parent" and saying kids need families...YET there is so much scrutiny and pressure placed on foster and adoptive parents! Makes me so mad! I understand the need for them to be so strict, but it makes it so hard on families, more then it needs to be.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Hadn’t even thought of that.

[@psychicdiva4907]

They want you to attach but be able to let go. Velcro parenting. It’s bizarre expectations and you have to safeguard your heart. 🤍 I’ve been licensed for months and still awaiting a placement (we wanted a baby) so we wait and I try to be patient. It is a heavy, sad system that doesn’t truly care for the children, and even less for the foster parents.

[@KR-xh4wn]

A lot of the motivation behind the whole "violation" process is liability. No one wants to be blamed for a child's rights being violated, them being injured, abused, etc. so if there is a misstep and it looks like the agency will look bad, they will move quickly to correct things. So it is ok to not be perfect, just don't make the agency or county look bad or negligent. My guess is that this family has a public persona so they sort of have to step in to protect themselves. It sucks...

[@MegaSwiming]

Yep the foster care adoption commercials are crap they mile it look good

[@SrGemmaRose]

I worked in foster care to ensure placement. I went into the home when the child or children were in danger of losing a placement to see what extra resources we could bring to keep the placement going. There were three little blonde kids. Two little boys and a girl. Foster mom was clearly into this for money only. Horrible woman. She would not touch those kids for anything. The little two year old was changing her own diaper because foster “mom” said she could do it herself. I advocated and advocated that they be moved. Urgently. I never had such a bad feeling in my life about a placement. Three months in the 5 year old reported sexual assault by the 14 yr old unrelated foster child also in the home. I was utterly devastated. They were finally moving but for all the wrong reasons. I had to change careers. It broke me. I never wanted to see that again.

[@leigh8156]

Gemma - ((Hug))

[@xAlanaaaa]

I’m so sorry. This sounds so heartbreaking and must have been though for you to deal with as well.

[@zoritsanepenthe638]

My husband went from social worker to computer security. He got burned out and angry over how mismanaged the system is.

[@sharonchambers8570]

Gemma Rose I am now retired after working as a mental health counselor. Sadly, what you are describing is not a rare occurrence. I had a lot of burnout, at one point stopping work in my career field and doing something else for a few years.

[@zelousfoxtrot3390]

You're in a different state than me. Here they have a 5 year limit on age difference of non-related foster kids. So a brother could be 6 years older, but another foster kid in the home could not.

[@melissasponagle8118]

I’ve been feeling this for months now and we’ve only been fostering for a year and a half. We’ve been waiting on our stalled adoption for pretty much this whole time but when my son is finally adopted we are beyond done.

[@alys4570]

I hear you. My husband and I couldn’t adopt our Foster kids because they were undocumented refugees. we had to wait for them to age out of the system. We celebrated that day. We were able to help our kids so much more without all the red tape. There were so many toxicities within the system that hurt our foster kids.

[@outwardbound2241]

You guys: since it takes a village, how about we all send a positive, inspirational "stay-strong-card" to Whitney and John? Maybe kind words from all over the world may cheer them up a little and make them feel appreciated for the absolutely wonderful things they do.

[@libbykat3958]

That is an awesome idea ♥️

[@africanskyowl6652]

@@libbykat3958 how does that chain of support begin ?

[@libbykat3958]

@@africanskyowl6652 I took the suggestion to mean that anyone who was so inclined could each send a card.

[@alycewich4472]

@Outwardbound 22 -- Their address is in the description box. Be The Village, P.O. BOX 348 Maineville, OH 45039 Let's do this!

[@brianagarcia8546]

It’s so strange because I see so many families on here (like the Crazy Middle and Pieces) who share way more information about their foster children, but I guess it varies by agency

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

It really does

[@JB-yy3vt]

Is it a possibility to find a different agency that is maybe a better fit for your family?? One that values you and what your amazing family does for these kids a bit more??

[@trishahoffman460]

From one foster parent to another, I am sending you so much love! Thank you for sharing your good and bad days!

[@clydehoekstra3290]

We have been doing foster care for a number of years, letting any of them go is the hardest thing to do. We have been lucky enough to have several of them, and thier parents keep in contact with us. Often we get a call from the parent asking for us to take them for the weekend so they can have a break. We look forward to that and taking them out for dinner on thier birthdays. Don't give up, the kids are worth the headaches that the system may put you through.

[@wall_to_wall]

This sounded similar to my experience as a teacher. It benefits the system more if you care but don't care THAT much. My coworkers would say to me "you'll stop caring eventually" and I thought.....that's not who I am. I won't just stop caring. I am so sorry that you're feeling all of this and going through it. You have such a big heart. (Also, as a side note, I didn't think I could love you more and then you referenced Harry Potter!)

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Isn’t that just terrible? Thank you for understanding ❤️

[@skylarjohnson7779]

I had teachers who don't care. It just hurts the kids, emotionally and academically. We need more teachers like you.

[@wall_to_wall]

@@skylarjohnson7779 It was rough. The field is really difficult and ultimately, I ended up leaving the K-12 classroom.

[@stephaniegarcia7818]

Whitney, Thank you for opening your home and showing these kiddos care, love, understanding and compassion. Please know you and John are both appreciated.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

❤️

[@estrellasjournal]

*you inspire me to be a foster parent. Stay strong!*

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

🙌🏼

[@sarahflaherty9700]

I am a foster parent as well. Everything. You. Said. Is 100% on point. Your channel is very encouraging to the rest of us. You have allowed me to realize I am not the only one who experiences these thoughts and emotions. Prayers for your family.🙏💕

[@christyplatz8618]

I wish they took into consideration how much good your channel did for Miss A. Tons of support with stitch fix and Amazon wish lists. What you are doing is amazing. I appreciate you!

[@CarFreeKC]

I agree -- I would love to reconnect with Miss A years down the road. I have a strong feeling that the love and support that she received will carry with her forever.

[@hollypage4554]

I had an incident that resulted in allegations and a disruption. Definitely the lowest I've ever felt and hardest I've ever cried. I did get through it and fostered another child who was a great relation. It is such a litigation filled society now. It makes it hard. Keep pushing forward with what is most important.

[@arielathome320]

As someone who lives in Ohio, and is a supporting member to my foster family friends, there are certain counties in Ohio that are VERY difficult to deal with. I can guess which one you are working with right now. Hang in there! You are doing so great! I don't know you, but I love you so very very much. Thank you for giving yourself for the greater good of the community! You are so amazing!

[@amys5669]

I belong to a FB foster parent group and some people have agencies that write them up when they stop in unannounced and there are dishes in the sink or laundry on the couch. Seriously. More than one person has posted this. There is already a shortage of foster families and *that* is what the agency wants to focus on? Not if the kids are well cared for etc. Many foster parents, like teachers, quit w/in the first 2 years.

[@esmeraldarosales2834]

That’s just beyond ridiculous

[@kristys7172]

Excellent homes are inspected weekly, and homes that make the news haven't been inspected in months/years. The system is broken. You are a saint for putting up with the bureaucratic bull sh*t

[@NCTCCTGNW]

I have seen bio parents harassed and have their kids taken for the same things. Then someone else gets busted for drug possession and CPS isn't even called. The system is definitely broken all around.

[@amymenjivar3489]

@@NCTCCTGNW Yes, in my county, they said drug use alone isn't enough to remove kids. So many people use drugs; there aren't enough homes as is. They couldn't remove all the kids where drug use is present. Typically, there is intervention if mom gives birth in a hospital (doesn't mean automatic removal but a referral and safety plan - could be a removal if warranted). There has to be abuse or neglect in addition to drug use.

[@andiamador7156]

Dishes in the sink means people ate food on them. Laundry on the couch means the clothes were washed (and mom isn't hiding out in the laundry room, but maybe in there supervising the kids and what they are looking at on TV). With four kids in our house, three were my mom's one was my stepdad's, the couch was the best place to sort the stuff as it was folded for each person and put in their stacks to be taken by each person and put in the appropriate drawers in our rooms. Before too long, she taught us how to sort and wash our own laundry and how to wash dishes and how to cook, (with the cooking by observation and verbal instruction initially, and as she went along---saying such as, "See, if you go ahead and wash this pot out like I'm doing, and wash up these utensils and equipment as you go, then you won't have a big stuck on mess and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and on the counter." and "Put this refrigerated stuff right back in there, and it won't go bad on you." "Don't just leave the water running for nothing." "This is how to cut up a chicken." "Wash your hands and all this really well after handling raw chicken." "The reason I don't make this for y'all often (Granny's cream puffs), is because it makes my arm very tired. Wanna try it?" "See, I told you." Would all or any of that be considered child abuse in a foster care setting, I wonder? Because a lot of those home-life instruction sessions were some of my best childhood memories, and good advices for my future, which I ended doing without a second thought and which eased by burdens all along.

[@mandigurl2341]

I'm a case worker, only been doing it for 4 months and I feel this deep in my bones.

[@birdy-vd8nv]

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. Thank you for caring so much and for always doing what’s best for the kids. I understand how you would feel unappreciated but you are seen, you make a difference, and you are good enough. Best wishes to you ❤️

[@patrobertson772]

YES!! As a Front line child protection worker for 10 years I was soooooo burned out and could NOT go back. Red tape just breaks you!

[@JarvisSensei]

Oh sweetheart I just want to give you a BIG hug. You and John are incredible human beans. Your love and compassion for these kids has been so inspiring over the past few years. I have watched you since you last week with your first foster daughter and I have been so proud of everything you have achieved. You are what the system needs. Not the other way round. People like you are the ones who SHOULD be getting the placements. Your "caring too much" is exactly what makes you perfect for this.

[@theneens5535]

My heart hurts for you and your family. There's no way anyone that has watched your channel, or knows you personally could EVER think you would do anything to hurt or endanger the kids. Politics are the bane of the social service system. Not to mention the different personalities that are in play at any given time. Our love and respect will always be there for you, prayers abound too!

[@dominique61]

I really appreciate you being so transparent with us! It’s nice to see that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows.

[@KSMaxiefan01]

I had a feeling this had to do with the channel. 😢 I know how it feels to do everything right, work hard all this time but make one single mistake with the best intentions and have it affect everything you work for.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Exactly

[@KSMaxiefan01]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity Similarly I worked in the medical field in pediatrics specialty and which also has a high rate of burn out. I also had to work out the balance because you go into this field because you care but at the same time it is not good to care too much especially when people you do this for aren’t grateful for it

[@mery5989]

Well at least who they're really doing it for is the kids, not the system, so it's more of an external obstacle

[@alycewich4472]

@@mery5989 And it still hurts a lot, no matter what.

[@arieknight1370]

My girlfriend has been a social worker for years and a therapist and now just finished her PhD in Psychiatry and physiology and has always worked privately and will continue too! She was telling me when we first got together that she would never after what she saw during practicum work for a government system here

[@bostonterriermomakasandy9722]

You and John are doing a great job and I can’t imagine all the red tape, and the crazy paperwork that must be done. You guys are the perfect example of what foster parent should be like. Sending strength and love.

[@elizabethpalmer5111]

Thank you for sharing this. I know this is extremely difficult for you. As much pain as you have right now, I hurt for both of you. Give yourself a break. You are as human as the one next to you. Don't beat yourself up over this please. I had a customer who spent quite a bit of money on lottery yesterday. She told me she's childless. Her options are spend her money recklessly on herself or leave it to nieces and nephews she doesn't care for. Because of you, I was able to direct her to one simple wish. She came back and told me that it's an amazing and worthy organization and she would be wish shopping weekly. That's because of You. You are making a difference in the universe. Take time to grieve over your violation, take time heal. Because the pebble you threw in the pond of your life that started with your first video about fostering to now rippled into a future you could never believe. Take time for you and John and kids and know that you have a massive village supporting all of you.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

This fills me up. And thank YOU for making that difference.

[@BhappyD]

What a beautifully worded comment! I agree with every word! 💕🌻 God bless.

[@pj89-96]

Elizabeth Palmer THANK YOU I love your comment and your support!! Here and spreading the word for Wish!! I have dealt with many foster children and could only hope they had parents like these two!

[@elizabethpalmer5111]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity it was you Whitney I never would have known about one simple wish if I didn't see your videos and your support of one simple wish. One ripple in your universe carried over to mine, and into another's. That's all the beauty and simplicity of sharing our lives, the ups and downs via social media. If done correctly doesn't validate us, but lifts up not only ourselves, but each other.

[@timbates3050]

This was helpful to hear! I don't think anyone but a foster parent can understand all of the emotions that we experience throughout the whole process. I find that when I focus on myself or on the county and its preposterous rules or how thankless it is and how little control we have even as primary caregivers, then that's when I lose sight of our primary mission: obeying God by caring for the most vulnerable persons in my community. We are foster parents because we care about the kids.

[@AIUSAwithKait]

As someone who fosters, I'm so glad you shared your mindset during this experience! I wish someone had normalized this for me when I started fostering. I think these feelings are a normal part of fostering. It's important to separate your feelings with the agency/county/organization from your feelings towards your kiddos. Everyone is a victim here, but you've been tasked with protecting those in your care. It can be hard to separate those feelings, but it's what you need to do, as the adult. I find that these frustrations and doubts often creep in after the first 3-5 weeks. The anger at the agency, the issues with the county, the overall general lack of concern and care drive me insane. Especially the lack of communication! (though it's actually gotten better over Covid?).And its normal for these feelings creep in, especially at the beginning and during times of important transitions (like birthdays, holidays, and end of year terms). It's normal, and it's hard, but you'll make it through, and so will they. Edited to add paragraphs: typed on mobile, edited on comp.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes, these emotions definitely need to be normalized. Will continue to share and show how we get “over” it.

[@AIUSAwithKait]

​@@BeTheVillageCommunity ​ I'm really looking forward to it! I've fostered quite a few times since I started in 2015, and there is always a point when I feel so angry at the county. Every time, without fail, it's the lack of communication that gets me. It's the uncertainty and inattention that really does it. It's always a challenge figuring out how much to share, when, and how. I definitely get it wrong, but that's normal too, and I've found that when that happens it can be helpful to acknowledge that mistake, and, depending on the child, change how much you share in the future. I've really enjoyed John's, "Know better, do better" for things like this. I like that you put getting "over" it in quotes. There's no getting "over" it, it's more like a moving passed it... I guess? That doesn't seem right though, either. Idk. But I'm really looking forward to your tips and what getting "over" it looks like for your family. I've found taking a respite weekend to be incredibly helpful, and ironically starting a new project with the kids to be the perfect thing to occupy my mind when all I want to do vent and brood. It also acts a nice way to show the child/children that while the situation is difficult and something we can't control, that I still support them and am eager to invest in them, and that our time together means something to me.

[@kylieevolved7400]

Your channel has continued to make my heart smile. As a foster child in my teen years I went through a lot of families and all were really bad families who saw me as $$ and weren’t like you at all. You are a wonderful mom and foster mom please know that and I wish there were more people like you when I was growing up in the system.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Kylie, what a nice thing to compliment them so much, especially when they have been hurt by the system too.

[@LindaY26]

When we lived in the states, we fostered for 8 years. We left because of red tape and no support. We took a 13 year break. Now in Canada, we’ve been fostering for nearly 8 years. Here, we receive boatloads of support. That support makes a huge difference. I’ve been right where you are. If you never get to those low points, you don’t quite appreciate the highs. I hate government red tape! ❤️

[@carrievl4545]

I’m glad for you and the children in your care that this has been your experience in Canada but it certainly has not been mine or that of friends who have fostered. Oceans of red tape to try to get FCS to address basic needs of the child. It is a system needing a massive overhaul to better support kids, foster parents and bio parents.

[@mikesully110]

The foster kids at the Comprehensive School (ages 11 - 18) I work at, they are always the most messed up ones, the ones that hate adults and they have so much anger. Though by far the angriest and most upset kids are those that live in homes, those that manage to find a good foster couple they can stick with do a lot better. But a lot of the times these kids are just too much of a handful for fosterers. A lot of it is anger because they have been taken away from their parents, and sometimes the other kids make fun of them "your dad didn't want you and neither do we". Some of these kids jump from fosterers to fosterers, it's really sad, you can tell a lot of the boys just want a family to belong to and to be loved and they obviously aren't shown that where they are. They get very attached to adults who show them affection & that makes them extremely vulnerable. I think the government should consider taking a families kids as the absolute LAST RESORT, rather than the stories you hear about the govt taking a fathers child because they were a UKIP activist. Of course not all these tabloid stories are true but the principle still stands, when a child is taken from their parents from what I have seen it messes them up for life. Something in the care system is BADLY broken treating these kids almost like inmates, if not that then like objects not human beings especially children.

[@Katie-mw7pd]

Anyone who refers to children who have psychological issues as result of trauma as being “messed up” should not be working with such children. Please find another career path before you cause irreparable harm to a child’s psyche.

[@mikesully110]

@@Katie-mw7pd I don't deal with them myself I just fix equipment, but even I can see the system doesn't work and I am guessing you are part of that system

[@danielletischer3940]

I agree. Before taking children, all efforts should be made to help the bio parents become good parents if possible. We need better systems in place.

[@user-ty2wf5cq3m]

Whitney you are so awesome and strong. As a teacher I understand the feeling of feeling like you're the only one who cares sometimes...and that sucks. But please know that you are doing such good and your heart is so big. Thank you for sharing with us. ❤️

[@abigailatchison]

I appreciate your transparency so much. This is such a difficult thing we foster parents are doing and it's encouraging to remember I'm not alone in the hard parts.

[@LifeinBonnieland]

As I always say, "The worst part of parenting is other adults." 🤦‍♀️ Matt and I feel your pain so deeply this week as we go through our own red tape nightmare. Lots of love and solidarity from Michigan 💜

[@doingslothstuffs]

I can just hear the sadness in your voice and want to hug you. Obviously, we don't see everything but from what we can... You do from the heart. Keep loving those kiddos and being who you are. You'll make it through.

[@aimeekelly1172]

I wanted to cry while listening to you. It’s easy to see how much you guys care and love the kids placed with you. You guys give so much of yourself to make sure these kids are safe and loved. It’s frustrating because there are so many bad foster homes, but yet they give you guys a hard time for an innocent mistake that has been corrected. They need to just accept the apology and move on. They are lucky that such a loving and dedicated family chooses to foster. Keep your head up. You guys have a whole community behind you that loves you guys. I know it’s hard right now, but you will get through it. Keep loving the kids, your family, and make sure to take care of yourself as well.

[@carylhalfwassen8555]

Time for a different agency.

[@dking1362]

I am so sorry you are going through this painful, difficult period. Thank you for your honesty and for being real. Raising one child of your own well takes a tremendous amount of love, patience, grace, and work....stepping in to help other families with their children by fostering is so incredibly needed yet so complex and demanding it must be very daunting at times. Thank you, thank you, for seeing the worth in each child and for all you - and every sincere foster family -do and are for these precious little ones. Be kind and forgiving to yourself as well.

[@taylorrutter4860]

Sending love and strength. You are appreciated tremendously by those paying attention. You and John are contributing to so much positivity in the world. I hope you both are afforded more time to yourselves shortly.

[@myahswings9766]

I have the upmost respect for you, your family, and what you do as a foster family. Your videos are always so honest and emanate the love you have for all of the children and the care and heart and soul you put into helping them. I just want you to know that you are a beyond exceptional person and are so valuable to the kids you serve as well as to the audience you teach here on social media. Please keep being honest. You are my resource parent role model Thank you for so much.

[@LegitimateSea5474]

Sending you all so much love! After every storm there is a rainbow 🌈 🧡

[@hollypietrobono1676]

Thanks for being so real! Keeping you all in my prayers!!!!

[@becki6330]

You're only human, people make mistakes, glitches happen. Anyone who took two minutes to properly look at the channel can see the passion and love and care you have for fostering. Don't be disheartened. Sometimes the most important jobs in the world are the most underappreciated. But you know that what you do for these kids will never be forgotten by them and their families and that's so much more important than anyone elses opinion

[@ellyssastadler452]

Honestly, if you don't want to quit everyday are you even fostering? We all hit those points, we all need an ear and a hug. The truth always comes to light one way or another. Thank you for being open about the whole fostering experience. Foster care socks. Ohio foster care socks. If you ever need another here, I'm here for you.

[@chantalpinsonneault1299]

I haven't watched all of your videos but I have watched many. I really don't know what you supposedly did that was so wrong. All I've seen is an incredible young couple who are kind and selfless and go out of their way to help the kids put in their care. It takes such energy and courage. I have said it a few times already: I admire what you do and I wish you the best.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

There was a blur that wasn’t effective, so it was our mistake

[@cassie8177]

So sorry you are having to go through this. Hope knowing that your journey is helping and inspiring me helps in a small way. Thank you for all that you can share

[@nitijani1696]

sending all the love to you! you’re an amazing person who truly wants the best for everyone. extra hugs 💗

[@CJ-by2bo]

Thanks for sharing this real story, you can hear genuine grief and loss in your voice. Learning to stand!

[@msalyssababy]

I’m sending you all the love, hugs, positive energy, and healing that you can possibly need! ❤️ You are such an inspiring woman and I know you’ll get through this. Hang in there! 🤗

[@BeautywithKimberlyrose]

I completely understand I’m going through a situation right now. A case was opened on me . My child had type one diabetes and behavior problems. I would be in tears at the hospital sitting in the car cause no one would help me. My child would refuse to take her insulin because of her frustration she’s been taking the insulin injections since she was one and she’s over it. she would just give up and say I don’t care if I die. And her wrap around with tell me that it’s a medical issue and they couldn’t help me when clearly it was an emotional behavior issue. She would destroy my house when she would get in her I don’t care anymore mood. I have asked several people for help. The police the doctor, fireman who came to my home all said her wraparound should be helping you. I had her for four months and didn’t meet her social worker once in person. I was only able to finally get somebody out from her wrap around once. And let’s not mention I called them at four they didn’t get to my house till 930 at night because they were shopping. This was a day she was wanting to break my windows and knocked on my TV because she wanted to be placed in the hospital. She liked being in the hospital and if she was in her mood she would do whatever she had to to go back to a hospital or a group home . What do you do when nobody’s willing to help you and everybody blames each other. The social worker Would say it’s The wraparounds responsibility and vice a versa. They opened a report on me saying I take her melatonin pills which I don’t my daughter takes melatonin. And melatonin is over-the-counter. They also said that I wasn’t giving her medicine correctly. Clearly that wasn’t the case I was in the hospital several times because she was refusing to take the medicine and nobody would help me. When I got this report I was in tears because I even had to spend two nights in the hospital with her. I’m still going through it and it’s so frustrating and discouraging. My prayers are with you

[@hayleymarse2853]

Hey, I’m a type one diabetic and I have been since I was 9. I was very similar to your foster daughter. I would refuse to take injections and check my blood sugar because I hated being different and I was so burnt out. Type one diabetes is really, really hard on people. (I just came realized how long my comment is so please don’t feel obligated to read it all) High blood sugar makes you angry and annoyed at things that shouldn’t bother you. High blood sugar makes you feel sluggish and restless. It makes your bladder hurt and makes you extremely thirsty. Depending on how high you are, it makes you feel extremely sick and can make you throw up. Even now, when I’m high, I will say something that I really don’t mean and immediately burst into tears because I do not have control over it. Low blood sugar makes you shaky, light headed, and like you’re having an out of body experience (I still have no clue how to best describe it to someone who doesn’t have t1d). It can make you irritable and resistant. Diabetes is different for everyone but as a kid, I had no idea what was wrong with me and how to describe it. People with diabetes almost always struggle with anxiety and other mental health issues. You are doing an amazing job! Parents who raise t1d kids are superheroes. I can’t imagine how emotionally and mentally taxing it is on parents when your child’s life is resting so precariously in your hands. I’m not sure if it’s at all a possibility for you, but there are a lot of t1d and parents of kids with t1d on Instagram. They are all very supportive and have helped me immensely. They have lots of advice on how to help manage BG and other diabetes things. A couple more things: I’m not sure if it’s at all possible for you but getting an insulin pump helped me immensely. I refused for 7 years but saved my life. I use an Omnipod and I also have a Dexcom which tells me my BG without finger pokes.

[@danarzechula3769]

Hearing this really makes me sick. We don't need most of the government employees collecting inflated salaries and pensions on our backs. Sometimes it feels like they could just go and the world would be a better place. Frustrating.

[@BeautywithKimberlyrose]

@@hayleymarse2853 I actually requested a insulin pump and they did Nied me without really even looking into it. Unfortunately that placement is no longer with me but the information you provided is extremely helpful for a future children all that I will receive. Thank you so much for your comment.

[@laurenleslie1080]

I think your channel has brought so much value to so many people's lives. I can see the frustration in wanting to do the best for your foster children, while also trying to navigate a flawed system. I think as viewers, we saw the unconditional love you provided toward your previous foster daughter. I'm sure compassion fatigue is so incredibly challenging, but I will continue to watch and support in the ways that I am able. I wanted to suggest if you are ever considering content, that I would love to hear about the work you did as an instructional designer for creating content for foster care. I think that intersection could be super interesting. Also, I think hearing more about the foster care process is helpful for those interested in potentially fostering in the future.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I would love to talk about that 💛

[@heatabayko]

The thing that makes this whole thing ridiculous is if anyone questioning you just spent time watching your videos they would see how amazing you are and what an ASSET to the system you and John are! Sending you lots of support and love.

[@j.warren687]

STAY STRONG AND POSITIVE! I've watched your videos since right before Miss A. I've said multiple times these child are so lucky to have ya'll. The structure, love, care and time ya'll put in is truly amazing. Looking forward to watching your content. I know you will find a way to deliver your message. I support both of you. Keep fighting for these children.

[@fromthefosters]

From one (very tired) foster mom to another, I see you. I appreciate you. And we all support you doing whatever you need to, to take care of yourself and all those kids.

[@hannahxx17]

Just know that no matter how difficult it gets (and boy does red tape get difficult), you are an incredible family who are opening your home and hearts to children that need it. You are giving parts of yourself selflessly for vulnerable kids that need it.You have support from everyone here, even though we can't do much to show support.

[@mollykate1252]

I’ve learned so much about foster care through you all and it has really got me looking into fostering in my state. Thank you for all your helpful videos and I hope you know how much we appreciate you!!!

[@supergorillaz]

as a former social works student thank you for discussing passion fatigue

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Wouldn’t be fatigued without being disrespected and undervalued by the “system”

[@gardenjoy5223]

Jordan, seems you got that totally wrong. Becoming a foster parent often means, that you as a foster parent are going to be abused as well. In many ways. People are overly critical towards you, people are invading your private space more than you could imagine, people are expecting you to always be there, always sacrifice yourself and for that, they will exploit you, place children that are not capable of family life any more just because they need to get rid of them and when that doesn't work grill you in the most horrid way for their mistakes. It's NOT passion fatigue. It's ABUSE! And anyone fatigues on abuse. Half of the social workers don't even know what they are doing. A fourth helps. A fourth disrupts and hurts.

[@michellefaber1871]

It’s Hard! Not for the weak or faint of heart. We are going through some stuff too, but we will keep moving along. When you think, the kids are safe, feed so well, loved and listened to, you keep on doing it for them.

[@rhiannonparent8581]

Sending so much love. You have made such a huge impact on my life personally and on the lives of the kids that you care for. Keep on keeping on ❤️❤️

[@audreymaxwell4034]

I'll be thinking of you all and sending love. Thank you for all that you do for the community and for the kids in your care.

[@harpistforever3137]

Thank you for posting videos like this. I’m counting down the last few years until my life is stable enough to be a foster parent, and this perspective is vital to helping me prepare 💜

[@mommy2monkies]

Sending so much love to you and John !! You guys .... how can anyone question you? You’re the support people bed and hope for ! Stand strong - be unapologetically you ! 💜

[@toribellavdb]

So sorry that you guys are going through this. You and John are amazing. Any kiddos in your home are so blessed to have you. Stay strong 💜

[@dorissharp2206]

Wow, this is so sad! What you are doing for your kids is so wonderful! Please don't be discouraged because you're helping these kids and they really need you!

[@Everyonesmom1980]

You are doing such a great job....I don’t know why life can be more hard for the ones that are fighting the good fight, but the world needs people like you! Something will work out!

[@bpgk2007]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of that. You all are amazing foster parents and you have been great about protecting those kids. Hang in there. You are amazing

[@bellabailey3241]

ever since i new what foster and adoption was when i was 6 or 7 i knew i wanted to adopt. when i found your channel a wile back i new that’s what i wanted to do. you inspire me so much❤️

[@carolynwalker9920]

I really feel for you. It cannot be easy. I can see how much love and compassion you have for the kids. However you are strong, this is hopefully a blip and will blow over. Sending love and hugs. X

[@TheWhites6]

I'm right there with ya! 12 yrs and 22 children later, we are taking a big break...likely forever. 99% because of the "system" and compassion fatigue from caring for and advocating. It's exhausting and often overlooked. We don't want accolades just our voices heard on behalf of the children who can't speak for themselves 😢

[@BhappyD]

Thank you for all of the years you put in to care for children in need of a loving home. May God bless you on whatever path lies ahead. 💕🌻

[@Dem765]

To care for 22 children! A break is so much less than you deserve. I know you don't want accolades, but you have truly made the world a better place. You've done more than your part, and if there was ever a place saved for anyone in heaven, it's quite clear who it belongs to. An angel protecting helpless children, despite the sacrifice. What a beautiful person you are

[@lilybond6485]

How much does a person get paid per child to foster ?

[@TheWhites6]

@@lilybond6485 you receive a stipend typically between $12- $15 per DAY that they are in your care. Some children with more complex issues, like a medically fragile child, or behavioral diagnosis may receive a higher stipend needed to cover their needs. I'm not sure if these rates are the same across the US. The stipend is intended to cover the cost of raising the child. Clothing, food, school expenses, medication, diapers, activities etc... Foster families are not paid for their work of caring for the child.

[@IAFoodReviews]

It’s sad that this happened to y’all. I swear y’all are the best foster parents I know. You both are true foster parents. Yes things happen but it wasn’t intentional at all. You learn, improve & move on. These foster children needs y’all & you both are great parents ❤️

[@savannahcoffey916]

Thank you for being real with us.

[@livingmybelovedlife8447]

Awww, my heart breaks seeing you so upset. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Sending you a big hug.

[@RachelBrennan]

I am so sorry you are going through this Whitney, my heart just breaks for you. We can all see how much you care for these kids and that everything you and John have ever done was from a good place. It makes me so angry because I have seen the ramifications of a negative foster home environment or a foster parent who is in it for the wrong reasons, but nothing was done about it for 5 years despite multiple reports. Stay strong and like you said this too shall pass xx

[@nemett1328]

I love your channel. I’m here cheering 📣 you on. You’ve got this girl. Please take a moment for yourself to do something that brings you joy. As mamas we give and give but it’s hard to give if you’re feeling empty. Keep sparkling ✨. You and your family are making the 🌎 a better place 💕.

[@lorilouwho6804]

The system may not value you but you just hold on to the impact and the value you are have on those kids. They will remember having that one person who truly cared for them, no matter how long or short. It will stay with them forever ❤️❤️

[@lindsayhengehold5341]

Thank you for making this video in this topic. Foster care is a very hard decision to make and I can’t imagine the challenges it brings about.

[@NikkiBrownClown]

Sorry to hear y’all are having a tough time at this moment. FYI y’all totally inspired me when I first started watching your videos to become foster parents which we did back in Oct 2020 during wild fires and a pandemic. We got our first placement in December 2020 and yeah it was much more difficult than we could have imagined in fact that placement recently left despite our original plan to possibly adopt. I’m currently at my lowest point this week -even thinking of giving up fostering and or adopting all together so much work and enough support but this video is some help of encouragement

[@jwilkerson9673]

You are an awesome foster mom. Your caring and loving for this children is just incredible. God bless you 🙏

[@nydia7909]

For us, the silence was too difficult to handle when there were issues. Ultimately, this was a part of why we left. We did adopt two and get permanent custody of another. Foster Care will always have my heart, but the system is scary. Not only for bio parents but for Foster parents as well. The one thing a good foster family shouldn’t have to question is where they stand, as communication to us should be treated as if we are part of the team.

[@jessicacourtney9429]

You have gone above and beyond to correct the situation!! Keep doing what you are doing for those babies!! People need to know the ups and downs so whoever is considering being a foster parents knows as much as possible going into this or is a foster parents knows their not alone. The system should see the benefits of with yall putting things out there. Yall got so many recommendations on their care and suggestions you wouldn't even have thought about but I understand the confidential part but I am sure it's alot hard with 3 kiddos unlike when it was just Miss A. Sending love and support your way!!

[@sadiej3836]

There's so much value to sharing this part of being a foster parent. It is worth it....but it is also worth sharing that with fostering, a rough System (NOT rough kids) come into your personal life as well. (Foster parent of 2 amazing toddlers

[@cathrinefrydenlund3180]

It's because you do care, you do wear your heart on your sleeve, you do genuinely invest your love in the children you have under your roof, that it this situation gets to you. It's completely understandable and every child under your roof is blessed by everything you guys do and everything you are. Because you're real, sincere and genuine. And you'll always put the kids first. ❤️