The harsh reality of living in Germany (#1)

[@britingermany]

Hi all…cultural differences are something I am always curious about. What’s your take?

[@cjay2]

Sorry I can't believe this guy. Walking around with earbuds is not how to live life. Period. AND, you MUST learn the language when you move to another country. And the UK is no yardstick to measure reality by. They've always lived under a tyranny. A "royal family". Let's talk about politics (you can all leave now) - What are the Germans DOING about the invaders that their government invited in since 2015? I'm talking about the ones that insist that you follow THEIR rules. Just wondering a bit.

[@bahaaworld]

can you stop deleting my comments ? :)

[@cjay2]

Well, this platform blocked my comment. Let's do it again without the political commentary, for good luck: Sorry I can't believe this guy. Walking around with earbuds is not how to live life. Period. AND, you MUST learn the language when you move to another country. And the UK is no yardstick to measure reality by. They've always lived under a tyrr anny. A "royal family".

[@cjay2]

@@bahaaworld It's the platform and its "algorithm". Two of my comments are deleted.

[@britingermany]

@@bahaaworld I haven’t deleted anything. YT automatically filters certain stuff out. What did you write?

[@josephsnearline2022]

My first boss was German. She scared me sometimes with her directness, but she became one of the most important influences in my life. She was a mentor and a friend. I describe her as my guardian angel in human form. Nothing made me more proud than having her proudly introduce me to others as her colleague and friend, because I knew she meant it.

[@Alexandre.Hamann]

wow, thats woderful!!🥰

[@falconhoof19999]

I went to Germany for a visit last year. I was in the beautiful town of Baden Baden. At the end of the evening I fancied something to eat but struggled to find a kitchen opened as it had passed 11 pm. I asked a couple of Germans on street if they could suggest anywhere that would be opened. Long story short, they invited me to their home nearby, prepared a beautiful meal and we enjoyed a wonderful few hours chatting. It was a truly humbling experience I will never forget. That welcoming, generous nature will never been forgotten. I hope to do the same for someone some day.

[@bahaaworld]

it's just because you're white lol, White people are usually nicer with other white people only. even when you travel around , you can see them forming groups in hostels; for examples, that's only white people hahaha

[@barbsmart7373]

@kenmcdonald39 I began replying to you but my reply has not appeared where I thought it would.😮

[@bahaaworld]

@barbsmart7373 yes same :) he's deleting the comments

[@l1ncs]

Glad you had that experience. Down in the Black Forest they are quite special (in good ways).

[@falconhoof19999]

@@barbsmart7373 that's very strange. Please try gain. I would like to read your comment. Thanks

[@sybilleulinski1827]

As a German I have been living in the south of England for nearly 19 years now. The first years I always thought the English mean what the say! After many disappointments I have learnt it's just politeness and flowery friendliness! I was told by a (now) friend "you always say what you mean, we English don't do that!" Just saying something without meaning it is just not my thing. So, if I can't say anything (really meant) nice I'd rather say nothing at all!

[@britingermany]

Wow 19 years is a long time. You must have taken on at least a little bit of englishness by now😉

[@Noname-sf2rm]

"You must come for dinner!"😅

[@scarba]

The Scots, (I’m Scottish living in Germany), have the same cultural problem with the English, at least the southerners. It’s difficult to build trust if you can’t believe what they say becomes they are just being polite. I much prefer the German way of communication. However, I miss British banter and everyday joviality :) Maybe you should move to Scotland? My German husband finds Scottish culture very different to the English and very compatible:)

[@izibear4462]

I grew up in a British colony with southerners for the most part, so was prepared for how they are when I moved here. Luckily I live up north where they are more direct.

[@kulturfreund6631]

@ sybilleulinski1827 It’s like with the Portuguese: If the invite or offer you something once it’s just for face keeping and to show minimum of consideration for you. Only when repeated twice it’s safe to assume they mean it.

[@fepepay1684]

I am a filipina-german living here almost 45 years now. I learned to adapt in the middle of struggles and went to school to earn diploma in the health sector. When I was still working, now retired after 25 years working, I learned to step up for me when i am in right. Äs someone from the Philippines whose people are known to be friendly sometimes the colleagues thought they could step down on me. In the end I gained respect and found friends.

[@asmirann3636]

So you are trying to say that Germans put you down at times !!! But over the years you have learnt to stand up for yourself ??

[@CanAlternateLostTape]

I am American living in Berlin for 5 years. Being a genuinely open person who makes friends fast, the way Germans demarcate differing levels of contact still frustrates me somewhat. First you are a stranger, and you can remain in this category for a long time despite much contact. Eventually, if you are lucky, you might be advanced to a Bekannter or aquaintance. Making it all the way to friend can seem like too far to go sometimes. One of the biggest cultural differences remains the question „how are you.“ Germans consider it fake to ask this question without meaning it. But what they don‘t understand is that to Americans it is just a greeting, a standard way to say hello, not an invitation to complain! Of course it is much better to be direct and honest in communication. Saying „yeah let‘s get together soon“ when you don‘t really mean it is immature and it does no one any favors. So yes the Germans are correct to be upfront and direct. But on the other hand, what‘s wrong with being friendly and polite? Certainly, it doesn‘t require any dishonesty to treat other people with a bit of cheer and a smile. To any foreigner who is feeling alone in Germany, here is a tip guaranteed to make a German talk to you. Walk around with an open backpack. They will all approach you to say your Rucksack is not in Ordnung! 😂

[@shinyhappyrem8728]

"But what they don‘t understand is that to Americans it is just a greeting" - I think most understand that just fine. But it's not normal here, so usually we don't have an answer ready and feel being put on the spot. Which makes it even more frustrating when you know that the effort is useless because any answer is going to be ignored. If you go with the default "Fine" it feels like lying because almost _nobody_ is 100% happy with themselves, and in the rare case that they eventually do want to bring it up (e.g. at the doctor) it seems like a weird contradiction to the previous statement. I think most Germans feel that honesty and directness is preferable because of the idea that by removing _uncertainty_* it makes life more simple and easier.** People may even feel that by pointing out obvious mistakes / better ways early, society as a whole is improved. And certainly the common expectation is that those who are "wrong" (i.e. suboptimal) have the responsibility to change themselves. * not _simplicity_ - German bureaucracy and engineering is (in)famously complicated ** which is of course a major driving force of scientists/philosopers/historians/archaeologists etc., so perhaps there may be a connection there

[@CanAlternateLostTape]

@@shinyhappyrem8728 thanks for your reply. I understand what you are saying, and agree directness and honesty is correct, and I like that about German culture! But at the same time, why not be friendly? It doesn’t hurt anyone. Many Germans ask me “alles gut?” Or “alles fit” when greeting me and I don’t think it’s any different from the American “how are you.” No one is putting you on the spot for an answer, and it’s not lying to say fine, it’s just saying hello! You can say I’m tired, or work is stressful, or another short answer if you’re not fine. If a German asks me “wie geht es dir,” I don’t imagine it’s because they want to hear all my troubles!

[@Alexandre.Hamann]

haha

[@hfricke2661]

@@CanAlternateLostTape >>If a German asks me “wie geht es dir,” I don’t imagine it’s because they want to hear all my troubles!

[@dw4956]

Germans are friendly and polite but they are not fake about it.

[@michaelapetersen1121]

Hello Brit in Germany, thank you for your interesting video! I am following you for three years I think. I am living in the North of Germany but I grew up in the North of Hessen and in Westfalia.I am really impressed that you managed to find your place here. I hope, I am one of the people in this country who treat foreign people kindly and with warmth to show that there are also these people here. I wish you a happy Sunday!

[@britingermany]

Hi Michaela I think with this comment you have proven that you are one of the nice ones 😉. Happy Sunday ot you too

[@asmirann3636]

The funny thing is that while Germans find it hard to treat foreigners kindly in Germany, they still migrate in hordes to foreign countries. Germany has been traditionally a country of emigrants. Germans migrate to every corner of the world. It is a country with one of the most number of emigrants viz-a-viz the percentage of its population in Germany. A German origin American friend of mine once mentioned to me that there are more than 80 million German origin migrants/people living across the world. The biggest numbers are in US alone. While the population of ethnic Germans in Germany itself wouldn't be 80 million.

[@labelmail]

@@asmirann3636 so? do your numbers with Irish and Brits - how many origin migrants/people of those live around the world in comparison to the home population 😁

[@asmirann3636]

@@labelmail British would be easily 200 million or more. Regards to the British, it seems that so many of them were just waiting to escape from that island, and when they found an opportunity they orchestrated one of the biggest mass migration in human history. So they are at least 4 times their home population. Irish, I am not sure, but I have heard that there are also more Irish origin people/migrants outside of Ireland than within it. The point is that some people display extreme prejudice against foreigners when at home. But the same people are very much into migrating to a foreign country. In the case of Germany, it is known worldwide for its dislike of foreigners, yet the hypocrisy is that despite this dislike they are one of the biggest migrant groups in the world living across "foreign" countries.

[@labelmail]

@@asmirann3636 is it now? "its dislike of foreigners" more then the English? not likely. I know my fellow Germans have their faults, being gruff is one of them. I have been living 20odd years in different English speaking nations. Nothing can compare with the English xenophobia. Even back in the 60ties when an Indian or Pakistani bought a house in a London street the English neighbours complaint their houses would drop in worth because of that. I lived in England for some years and there my son (as a 1 grader) was bullied from his teacher which resulted being beaten up from the other pupils . I wasn't informed from school - he had a concussion and needed hospital care. Hospital staff asking how this came about told me it would have been the duty from school to take care and to inform me of this. Later the headmaster pleaded with me to not notify the authorities. I did not but left England. That was but one example of English dislike I experienced myself

[@zhangshiyucao]

There's directness and there's people just wanting to be rude for no reason.

[@asmirann3636]

Yes. Very few people understand that one can be direct without being rude. In case of many Germans, they are actually rude, even to other Germans and even more to foreigners, but they hide behind the excuse of being direct.

[@jespermadsen8528]

And there's people who feel hurt by any comment that's not a compliment.

[@borisnegrarosa9113]

@@jespermadsen8528 I would agree with her comment though.

[@randombystander5324]

Yeah, but we are talking directness on a national scale. Thus culture, not rudeness.

[@scepticalchymist]

Rudeness for no reason can be experienced as a foreigner in the UK as well.

[@breabanm]

I come from Romania and moved to Germany 13 years ago. I am introverted and introspecting and like efficiency and sticking to the rules. I am also rational and very pragmatic. While the first few months were difficult, after that I fit right in. It also helped, I think, going to northern Germany, as people here tend to be more open, although the weather can be absolutely ghastly in the winter. I married a German woman whose parents have lived in the South near Stuttgart. Her father sometimes quips that Schwabs go to the basement if they have to laugh.

[@lt2064]

as a german who has lived in the UK for 13 years, what a beautiful video. You have really grasped the underlying philosophies of the german mindset. thank you kindly ! ( I will always prefer english tea)

[@witlof5492]

I will always prefer German bread!

[@maritaberndt6200]

English tea and German bread...and cakes!

[@gillianforrester558]

Been living with the Germans for over 30 years! I have learnt to accept their frankness but to disarm them with charm and a smile. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt! But if you take things with a pinch of salt , life here is good. If people wont let you "in", they are probably not worth hanging out with.

[@RickDeckard6531]

Been here over 40 years. German directness is generally to be preferred to English two-facedness.

[@RickDeckard6531]

@ Yes, lost my British filter a while back. Or is this a backhanded compliment ;-)

[@dusty38uk]

I'm guessing that Germans are different natured from the north to the south possibly

[@L278-b7z]

​@@RickDeckard6531It's funny because I find English people more direct than germans and I live in Germany for 10 years and have interacted with english people from time to time.

[@moonprobe8751]

​@@dusty38uk Yes, generally in the South they are more warm and friendly and in the North more cold. Obviously, some cities are exceptions to this rule. Also, former East Germany is quite different to the West. East Germans are more in the style of we're all in this together and everyone should help each other. West Germans are more western, more looking after themselves and their own interests to some extent. I've lived in Germany 20 years now. They do love Britain and all things British, many having spent a couple of school weeks in Eastbourne brushing up their English skills!

[@realgeorge]

Your channel exhibits the best of KZbin, a channel with substance, important topics and insights, and excellent production quality. I sincerely appreciate your considered reflection on your life in Germany, without ego, cultural bias, or selective editing. Keep up the good work. I learn many things from this channel.

[@sommer1982official]

Somehow you developed a unique British-German way of explaining your feelings. You are quite direct without sounding rude. That is just my perspective as a German, and it is a compliment by the way : )

[@asmirann3636]

So basically German way is being direct with sounding/being rude. British-German way is being direct without sounding rude.

[@sommer1982official]

⁠@@asmirann3636 Well, it depends on who you ask. Purely based on this video with a British perspective Germans often give a more rude impression, indeed. If you ask other individuals or cultures the German very direct communication is not really seen as rude - the comments here give a good diverse insight.

[@f-man3274]

I am from Eastern Europe and my friends who moved to Germany are actually saying that Germans are more polite than people in the old country :)

[@sommer1982official]

@@f-man3274Thanks for sharing this, it really shows that everything is relative and changes with each one’s background. Same goes for the weather - ask Spanish people about the German summer or winter and they are not happy. Ask Scottish or Norwegian and they will say something like: We have much more rain and wind, it’s not a big deal 😄

[@markbecker5951]

@@f-man3274 German here. I lived in the UK. I always thought the way Brits describe Germans sounds like how I would describe Russians (no offense intended). So I understand what you mean. It's a spectrum. Brits on one hand, Russian on the other and Germans somewhere in the middle.

[@philip.morris]

Germans are very direct. I lived with some Germans for an academic year. The Germans are very good at making it known when they are not happy.

[@kimsherlock8969]

Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha hilarious 😂

[@cookingandlive]

In some parts in germany you can say that somethings wrong if they dont complain. I am german and i relate to that very much.

[@holger_p]

In reverse you can say, others are good in acting and hiding, so to say in show business. And you can see performing arts, theater or debating is a topic in American highschools, and almost not in Germany.

[@persiathiest1963]

German's emotional intelligence is close to zero

[@stevejones2310]

As a generalisation, they are brilliant complainers. They don't tolerate poor service. I like that.

[@gedw99]

I moved in Germany for 10 years in Potsdam . Originally from Australia. I liked the directness , because you can have real conversations about your opinions and feeling . However , it does have , according to the OECD reports , the 2nd highest number of people that leave in the first 2 years of arriving . I worked for the EU in this area. meeting people in Germany is hard , but like most European countries , where self expression is high , once you do get some friends they are deep real friendships . It’s worth it

[@rowlandpaes9213]

They did that because you are white otherwise they would have ignored you🙂

[@iliriacum666]

they leave because language is vary hard to learn and they don't let any other option to solve this issue..

[@venividivici1982]

Why,and again why why you would leave a paradise like Australia and move in a hell like Germany?

[@christinemaria0815]

Believe me, it's also hard for Germans moving to another town to meet Germans outside work.... even within work it's hard. It's like that with Germans: Very hard to connect, but once you have connected you are connected and it is hard to disconnect. So, that's why it takes time. It's a trust thing, because we Germans love real connections, not just on the surface.... we don't like to waste our valuable lifetime with shallowness.

[@monolith2063]

@@venividivici1982 My parents have friends who lived in Australia for more than 20 years and moved back to Germany. Australia is no paradise, it has it its good and bad sides. Tourists never see the dark sides, you realizes them when you move, work and live there. ;-)

[@nikosz66]

I am Greek in my 59 years of age. I dont believe in cliches anymore. My daughters have studied and lived all over Europe through Erasmus. They have good friends everywhere. I have met Germans with such a big and gentle heart, I have got to know Turks that truly adore Greece (almost unbelievable for us Greeks), I thought Northern Italians were not hospitable but someone in Torino slept for days in his kitchen to accomodate us in his bedroom etc. If you see Germans residents of Greece driving, you would bet your right hand that are reckless Greek drivers ! In DDR and Western Germany the same people lived in each country. It is just the system that you have to play by its rules. People are the same everywhere. Let's all unite our efforts for a better, peaceful and sustained future, for us and for the generations to come.

[@mikefilimon1584]

🧿 Thank you

[@asmirann3636]

You have written nice words of wisdom. Maybe with your experience in life you learnt all this. Unfortunately, people never seem to learn. The world is full of conflicts and many people desire to hurt other people viciously. Even within Europe, all kinds of violent ideologies have started to grow back in popularity. And Germany is in even worse condition because many Germans want to go back to the 1930s. So your words are wise and wishful, but people never learn. Generations after generations people make the same mistakes, the same conflicts and the same violence.

[@anner.413]

That is beautiful ❤

[@Köennig]

You seem to be surrounded by nice people. Good.

[@nikosz66]

@@Köennig I avoid toxic ppl, books etc. If I have to contact them, I spend the minimum necessary time and just give them the right message so they go their own way, and I go mine.

[@william_marshal]

I am a Brit who lived and worked in Germany for 40 years. Living abroad is always hard work but I always say it depends how willing you are to integrate with the locals. Never live abroad and tell locals that your country is better than theirs, they will only ask you .... why are you here then?

[@Koln-tk8dr]

Germany - vs Churchill Nazi UK --------------- There have never been any Race Riots in Germany since the past 30 yrs. But in Churchill Nazi UK, these Churchill Riots occur every few months

[@asmirann3636]

Logically, You are right. But you will realise that Germans living abroad do exactly what you are advicing against. Brits do it too and yet live in foreign countries in huge numbers. So you have to realise that Germans and also British have basically evolved from Gypsies. These people never live in their own countries and form the biggest migrant groups in the world. Still they display extreme arrogance because their whole history has been through leeching wealth and resources of others. So the pompous and arrogant behaviour is to mask the real intentions.

[@kati_nixie]

I had a hard time with Canadian politeness when I first came to Canada as a Russian. People were so friendly and throwing phrases like "we should get coffee!", "we should do this and that" without following through much. I was feeling like something is either wrong with me, or maybe my hearing haha (Cause why say things, invite people, when you don't really mean it?) My first real friend was German :) She organized me a small birthday part after knowing me for just a week, introduced me to her other friends (most of them were not Canadian) and overall was just very supportive.

[@markbecker5951]

Right? As a German I had exactly the same experience as you, just in the UK tho.. Why do they say things they don't mean? It's so fake.

[@TheTruthhasbeenspoken]

Had the same exact experience in Australia. I also wondered if I did something wrong. Like why make plans and invite someone and not follow through. It's stupid 😂

[@dianamacpherson5851]

I'm a Canadian and found this annoying here too. I actually prefer working with Germans because they actually care about the work they are doing and they don't mess around. If I want to collaborate, they know how to give feedback.

[@shuttttt]

As someone who used to date a Canadian, this is so true! It irritated me to no end and now I know it's a cultural thing lol

[@mike_lambert]

I lived in Frankfurt for a year a long time ago now (20+ years). It was for an American bank so “everyone spoke English” except of course when they didn’t. I left after a year thinking Germans were cold fish. Then a few months later I was given the unenviable task of closing down the Hamburg office because they had made everyone redundant. This I was not looking forward to I can tell you. However the people in Hamburg were completely different to the Frankfurt staff. They had every reason to dislike me or make my job difficult. But they didn’t, they went out of their way to be friendly, polite and cooperative. They invited me and my colleague to their Christmas party. If the shoe was on the other foot I would not have been so magnanimous. They really impressed me and changed my opinion of German people forever.

[@FutureAllenNL]

I have lived in Frankfurt for 10 years now and I'm always pleasantly surprised when i visit other cities and the people are just different. Frankfurt is cold and primarily a working city but is not a cotrect representation of the rest of Germany. This is why I've stuck around for so long.

[@sauguad]

I lived in Stuttgart, Konstanz, Bonn and Leipzig. And I have to say that it sort of depends on the city people have different mentality. I find people in Stuttgart super open-minded in General and easy to approach and more lively when compared to people in Leipzig.

[@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw]

@@FutureAllenNL In my experience, Frankfurt has one of the warmest people in Germany! Second to the Düsseldorf/Cologne region of course

[@Alexandre.Hamann]

Was für eine schöne Erlebniss!!🥰

[@markbecker5951]

Frankfurter people are vile unfriendly uncaring creatures. It's like in any banking city like New York, London or Frankfurt. It attracts the scum of the earth. I can't stand that city and it's people. But they got the Senkenberg Museum. That's dope AF.

[@CharlyHubble]

Lieber eine kleine Anzahl an Freunden auf die man sich verlassen kann, als lockere Freundschaften, die plötzlich keine Zeit haben, wenn man sie braucht.

[@bellezai]

True friendships are for life. :)

[@djlondon7956]

But you can have all kinds of friendships at the same time...

[@torstenberlin4088]

I do agree with Charlie Hubble; call me a typical kraut if you like. But this doesn't mean there are no casual pseudo-friendships here in Germany - unfortunately "Freund" and "Freundin" are still the most abused words in our language. To all guests from all over the world: Be ready to get disappointed by superficial "friends" in Germany as well!

[@johnschlottman619]

Gut gesagt. Dazu gibt es eine Menge Verschiedenheiten unter den Menschen; wenn man lang genug sucht und spricht mit mit Leuten, findet man schon was. Zumindest meiner Erfahrung nach, seit Aufenthalt in ≈? >? 10 Ländern.

[@roselandpetals]

@@torstenberlin4088 I think I've experienced this. I've met some Germans in Germany who I spent an entire week with (I'm talking 6-7 12 hour days). We laughed and broke bread together. Upon leaving I thought we had a great connection to maintain the long distance but they seem super casual toward me and don't really respond. So I guess not... :\

[@alastairstaunton7081]

What thoughtful reflection and observations on experience. We need so much more of this type of thing on every platform!

[@stefangermer3024]

To put it into a simple phrase: Germans are to honest to be polite while the English are too polite to be honest

[@anitakoch]

Well said!

[@DavidJames-p9f]

When I was a teenager I experienced two embarrassing incidents in Flensburg over a two day period. I boarded a bus, bought a ticket and put it in my pocket (I didn't realise that it had to be stamped). The bus driver noticed this and refused to drive on until the ticket was stamped. In my flustered state I couldn't find the ticket. The other passengers started staring, mumbling and complaining. In the end I bought another ticket. I had a rucksack and it was obvious that I was foreigner and a visitor. I could not imagine this happening in my home town in the north of England - Here the visitor would be given the benefit of the doubt. Then next morning in the Youth Hostel I took my seat for breakfast, for which I was verbally harangued in a loud voice by a burly harridan of a woman, who insisted in calling me 'Mister'. My crime - sitting at a table that was reserved for a block booking.

[@rainerm.8168]

Twice really bad luck. Couldn't imagine something like that bus incident happening here. But then - I live in Berlin. .

[@k_citizen_]

one of the earliest moments that I remember in Germany was a man yelling at me because I was crashing the bobby car into a wall...😂

[@tancreddehauteville764]

I hate this form of 'correctness'. It's weird.

[@juicyfruit4378]

Yes exactly -- in the UK, Australia, USA and Canada, someone would have assisted you in finding your ticket or the bus driver would have asked if you had purchased one to see if it is your pocket - not in Germany - they'll look at you as if you're crazy, ignore you if you need help YET when they go to other nations, they are the first one looking for assistance and get offended when it's not received. Germans have the best view in the room, because they don't see themselves.

[@maritaberndt6200]

I travelled by train in Germany many years ago. I had come from Australia and was visiting relatives. I had no idea of the train system and got into a first class carriage with a second class ticket. The conductor gave me a funny look when he checked my ticket but didn't correct me and just left me in the comfortable first class compartment. He obviously saw that I had no idea and was kind enough to just let me enjoy the trip. ❤

[@Cleannoses]

Thanks for the reminder. :) I'm an American that'll be moving there soon for the third time. I think region is important too. I've spent a few years in Baden-Wurttemberg and it's full of very cool people. If you find the local Irish pub (the good one), you'll find friends. My German friends, even those that I don't often see, always check in occasionally and at Christmas/Holidays. And some of them have helped me through very rough times.

[@Jan-m5c2r]

As a Dane I know and appreciate the German directness - but I'm also an anglophile 🙂And I'm aware of the British unpolite politeness. E.g. "With the greatest respect, I must say that..." = "You are an idiot!" - "That is a very brave proposal" = "You're insane!" - "Very interesting" = "That is clearly nonsense!" - "I'll bear it in mind" = "I have forgotten it already!" - "I almost agree" = "I don't agree at all!" etc.

[@monevaluation4716]

Yes but educated Brits feel that prefacing a sentence with the words "with the greatest respect" is what is said before insulting someone; it's a very ignorant rude thing to say, very condescending. Most polite Brits don't use this phrase.

[@deniseg-hill1730]

My brother came to Germany i 1979 to work as a carpenter. He ended up in a village 22 kms from Wilhelmshaven in the tourist area of Wangerland. Met someone and got married. He ended up working for 20 years for the local council after a back problem meant he couldnt work in construction anymore. He became a building technical environmental officer after doing a 2 year course in Aurich. I came here in 2014 when i retired i was 64. Its harder to learn the language when you are older. Unfortunately every language class is an integration one designed for refugees even in the private language schools which are very expensive. I had to apply to the state office in Hannover for permission to attend a 6 month course in the local town. Myself and another were the only ones who had to pay for the classes and the exams. We did get a reduction in the fees. The rest of the class got their fares paid as well and they complained because they had to buy the books for the course. What a joke, they were all living in nice accommodation and had decent benefits/allowances and all the health care and child benefit and the free lessons and free travel. No wonder so many want to come here. Thanks to Merkel

[@markbecker5951]

Don't worry. They'll have to leave soon. You're obviously more than welcome in Germany.

[@Wilhelm5381]

they love dishing it out, but not taking it...true.

[@lindelund9452]

I love your voice and your very intelligent way to explain the situation in Germany. Thanks a million!!!!!!

[@Sev13771]

I’m moving to Germany for work in a month. Not finding a social circle is one of my big fears. Your videos have helped. While it is difficult to fully comprehend all the cultural nuances, at least I won’t be walking into it completely blind.

[@jassidoe]

Easiest way is to find a place where you can share a hobby. So some kind of club or "Verein" or the local pubs may be a good way to get a foot in, so to speak. Meeting people in the streets may be difficult and many people tend to seperate work from their private life. Not always, but quite often. Hope you'll have an enjoyable time nonetheless ^^

[@JOELLECOOKE]

@Sev13771 As long as you work hard,have a secure job,the Germans will like you,but you have to speak the language well,,,otherwise people will lose the desire to talk to you !!!!you have to impress people,with your skills,,,the best way to meet new people ,and to get to know them,is at Work,, I use to come from Germany,Hamburg, Good Luck to You !

[@mjtconsulting]

where in Germany ??? Every corner is a completely different country,

[@RickDeckard6531]

See if there is an English-Speaking Club in your area. You will find resident Brits there, but usually also Germans who are interested in meeting foreigners (you) and can introduce you to the culture and local events.

[@SAK_-]

Depending your interests and hobbys, and where you will move to. Our friend circle is welcoming here in Münsterland! New people and new cultures are nice to learn and also to help is a pretty basic need for many germans. I don't know why, but you will know if you do something wrong, but you will also be told how to "do it better" next time, or just do it right. I can understand that people from outside of germany think we are harsh, but we are very heartfull too.

[@skywalker7778]

Yeah! Finally from the deep dark and icy Winter there. Guten Rutsch Benjamin! While working in Germany this was exactly my own experience. Thank you for sharing your "bruises" and bravo to your tenacity 😊

[@ceha9517]

I think you are right about the edge. I have the same feeling in public that people are on the edge. I do not know on the edge of what. But I think it is because of pressure. Financially, politically, with social media. Everybody is pissed off by something or somebody. Or they have sorrows. It scares me for our society. And I hope it will be better again.

[@caramella4220]

Thank you for putting into your own words what has been part of my life in Germany. The sense of being somehow wrong, doing the wrong thing, in general being unacceptable, weighed heavily on me for years. But I also noticed that the Germans themselves suffer the same, only, having grown up in it, aren't aware of it. But you can see it if you look. It is in the "Spannung" that typically marks their physiognomy, posture and body language.

[@silkekoehlmann4188]

The Germans has lost the last wars and since that time we are under foreign goverment and have nothing to decide for ouer own interests ! Das ist der Grund für kritiklose Unterstützung von Israel und des Ukrainekriegs, da hinter den Politikmarionetten in Berlin USrael die Anweisungen gibt! Auch der Bevölkerungsaustausch ist eine Folge von verlorener Souveränität! Ein souveräner Staat würde sich das nicht antun !

[@rainerm.8168]

Very interesting comment. Makes me ask where you are from Could it be from the Mediterranean?

[@holger_p]

What you are describing is a leak of self-confidence. Could also be a part of a depression. It's actually nothing related to international cultural differences. Yes, getting used to have no self-confidence, might be a point. This results in this "I follow somebody elses rule and shut up".

[@torinarg1971]

There is another aspect of the struggle to make friends with Germans -- as a German, I've lived in London for about 5 years, and apparently there were some 120'000+ Germans living in London -- yet, unlike some other nationalities, there is no particular region with lots of Germans, whereas you hear about many Italians living in Islington, Australians in Earl's Court, ... Nothing like that for Germans. And speaking with some of the Germans I had met in that time, we're mostly quite happy living _away_ from other Germans: After all, at least for myself, I moved there to live and learn about the people, not to move there to stay in an 'ingroup' of Germans...

[@dacat8171]

The biggest fear of Germans is to meet other Germans outside Germany. I experienced that in Nicaragua last year when an Austrian and German were talking English just to not scare the German. 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@markbecker5951]

Same. I lived in Chiswick. I made it my mission not to be around Germans. I don't like them. I do it wherever I move to. I'll avoid Germans. I did not know about the Australians at Earls Court. I used to work around the corner of it but never noticed. In Chiswick I had a few eastern European people. Mainly Polish, Russian and Croats.

[@asmirann3636]

What is surprising, or you could say hypocrisy, of Germans is that while being an extremely x*nophobic people Germans migrate all across the world !!! There are already more than 80 million German origin migrants living outside of Europe. These are the historical migrants and they are bigger than the population of Germans in Germany. Over this of the present day Germans of Germany, still millions migrate and live across the world. They are in China, Singapore, London, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, US, Canada, Australia, Brazil, New Zealand and so on. Basically in every rich part of the world. And yet back home the same Germans are one of the worst kinds of x*nophobes and extrem*sts. So it is very sad how people are so hateful with other people. It seems that some people and cultures are just not compatible with peace. German culture and people are definitely on this list.

[@user-kk4zw5jo4t]

Lovely photography. Very interesting video of course, just wanted to compliment the visuals as well!

[@HP4630]

As always, you hit the nail on the head!

[@britingermany]

🙏😀🔨

[@albionmyl7735]

It is different to smaller towns... here in Westphalia the former British military sector.... many english soldiers remain here after army time..... they are all very much integrated and popular.... also we are the same people Anglo-Saxons... ❤

[@erichamilton3373]

It's nice you feel similar to the British but you are not the same people. Neither you nor they really are "Anglo-Saxons" to be real.

[@albionmyl7735]

​@@erichamilton3373😉sorry to correct you... in case of the english we a r e the same people.. especially with the northwest Germans the place where I am from... the max plank institut Hamburg discovered a a amount of over 60% Anglo-Saxon DNA in some english counties.... I've been many times in England in the last 10 years... and I can assure you we are very much similar 👍👌🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿❤️🇩🇪

[@asmirann3636]

​@@albionmyl7735 What you are saying is basically ideological nonsense. Germans like to take credit for things they have nothing to do with. Britain is its own country with very different people. But Germans like to associate with Britain because Britain had a very successful Empire. Since at least last 300 years Germans have been s*cking up to the British. Earlier it was done to ensure that Germans are able to migrate to colonial lands of the British to better themselves. Later Germans did it for their own ideological reasons to prove that Germans are the most superior people in Europe and world, and to build a colonial empire of its own. Even during the heights of the last war started by Germans, Germans were still s*cking up to the British. But the British, by standing against Germany told you clearly that they are not the same as Germans. You still didn't learn the lesson. Towards the end, British told you once again that they are not the same as you by b*mbing many German cities to the ground. But it seems you have still not learnt the lesson. Get over it, stop acting like a child. You people have a very bad mentality of stealing achievements, culture, ideas and identities of others. But it will never work. At the end of the day, you are just those miserable people who destroyed Roman Empire and pushed Europe into the dark ages. Even after the dark ages, you destroyed the world through your fanaticism and extreme ideas. So no matter how much you will shout, you will never become anything than the people who do very bad things to other people.

[@marionbauer4566]

Great analysis! I'm German and an English and history teacher in Germany. I'm interested in your analysis of cultural differences and this one is especially good.

[@britingermany]

Thanks a lot. I appreciate your encouragement

[@MyPronounIsGoddess]

⁠​⁠@@britingermany Hmm…but do you really appreciate their encouragement 🤨

[@rainerm.8168]

​@@MyPronounIsGoddess😂😂😂

[@annepoitrineau5650]

@@MyPronounIsGoddess why wouldn't he appreciate their encouragement?

[@MyPronounIsGoddess]

@@annepoitrineau5650 It’s a ‘joke’…a play on the subject. Is he being German or is he being British in his reply to the comment? I’m English (living in US for many years). It seems obviously humorous to me 🤷‍♀️ 😃

[@stephenmichaelmarkey7061]

Hi Benjamin and All. Benjamin, I really enjoy your input and believe that there are very few people who have summed up living in Germany better than you. I speak the language, lived there, love the people and the culture. Back in the 80s when I was there I noticed many people who wanted to break the mould and welcome new ideas and cultures. My wife and I (in our 20s in the 80s) had a wonderful time back then. I was a graduate in the UK and struggled to find a job that would pay a decent salary. I went to Germany as a temporary fix and stayed because the quality of life was so good. I left for professional reasons but could have stayed on. Knowing the language (learned at a UK comprehensive school) was vital and very much appreciated.

[@vanessagardiner7663]

Thank you for such an insightful and thoughtful video.

[@piotrzurek9732]

As a Pole living in Ireland for the last 18 years, I often miss the Germanic bluntness that seems to be the cultural norm in most of Poland too. I am sick of the repetitive small talk that occurs every week, month, and year at the office. "How was your weekend/evening/holiday? Any plans for the weekend/evening/holiday?" Everybody asks these questions over and over again without expecting any genuine answer. You can tell by their body language that they genuinely don't care. This "politeness" adds unnecessary time to the process of determining who is a decent person and who isn't.

[@borderlord]

And you've stayed for 18 years?!

[@seanconroy7222]

Nobody forced you to come here , and Nobody will stop you from leaving.

[@piotrzurek9732]

Oh for f sake it isn't about Ireland it is about the general imperial culture. Irish people are lovely.

[@annepoitrineau5650]

Exactly. Just like my first hair dresser in the UK always asking "Are you going anywhere nice on holiday?" as an opening. I had to change hairdresser: I find this sort of smalll talk fake and exhausting because you are always so guarded. My new one is much more genuine, asks awkward questions sometimes etc but we now know each other...And one day, I was the last customer, we had talked music and we made music and danced for about one hour, with the other 2 staff. I thik we really are friends and are way past small talk. So it's not just Germany.

[@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw]

Irish people are generally great at social stuff, don't know what you're on about sorry

[@ColetteErck]

I have lived in Germany and visited there too and always love it there but I'm very introverted and as a natural introvert who also was raised in a very German cultural region of Midwest I thrived. I like being able to read in public go for long walks and not have to force chit chat or cheer. My German friends were so true and very guarded true but also "safe" feeling to me. I like the commitment to order and yes respect. The value on health and well being is nice too.

[@karinvasquez3956]

What a lovely british English you speak - my ears are delighted.!!!

[@neilfazackerley7758]

I have been living for half a year in Germany and half in the UK. In the UK I live in a large city and in Germany a small town. I think the UK has changed over the past decade or so. People are less inclined to speak to people here too or look people in the eye in the streets. I think social media plays a big impact in this. More people are working so hard because they have less money and less time to socialise. The pubs are closing and even when people do go, they do not go for long as it is so expensive. I am in a so called trendy part of Manchester with bars and cafes and on Sunday to Wednesday they are empty. I agree Germans are more direct which takes a bit of getting used to. However, in my town in Germany we have a friendly neighbourhood, we meet 3 times a year on our street for a street Barbecue and go for walks and drinks with the neighbours. We never did this in Manchester. Someone once told me that once a German is a friend they are a friend for life and more loyal than the Brits. I think this is right. I agree learning the language is essential here. The idea that everyone speaks English is not true, especially outside the cities

[@AltIng9154]

I think the word friend belongs to the „false friends“ words. The Anglo-Saxon word friend should be translated to Bekannter. Or you should use the word acquaintance instead of friend. 😊 I think, most of the Germans, me included, have very few friends. Friends are the persons you would call at 3 am without any hesitation in need! Not only that. You expect that your relatives could call your friend at 3 am also! That means friendship sometimes lasted for generations ! Kids of friends often regard each other as family members! You call friends of parents aunt and uncle! 😊

[@britingermany]

Yeah my analysis was based solely on city life. Obviously in a small town or the countryside it's very different. I grew up in the rural English countryside and we always greet people on the street and have a bit of superficial banter...I was thunking to cover violence in the UK but then left it out...There#s a reason pubs and bars have bouncers in even average sized cities in the UK...there seem to be a lot of underlying anger there which alcohol just increases

[@AltIng9154]

@@britingermany I am quite sure, with your background of living at the English country side you would perfectly fit in to rural Northern Germany. Let’s say Oldenburg or so !

[@RickDeckard6531]

You're in Chorlton?

[@rainerm.8168]

​@@britingermanyIncrease of violence is a big problem everywhere in the West. Big and frightening topic.

[@n.m6249]

They will not hold back to criticize but when you give them a taste of their own medicine they retaliate. English people whether from UK or US struggle because they come from society where being nice is more important than being right. Im an African and i can relate, in Africa you always show respect and kindness first, being right is not that important. On the positive side, i normally dress in African Masaai clothing, Germans are first to compliment me, they would even smile and ask me questions about my outfit and culture, they are more fascinated more than African people. Overall its very interesting being in Germany, you will survive anything if you can survive 2 years in Germany.

[@vornamenachname1069]

As a German, I think you are spot on that we Germans like to be right. So much so that we like to discuss and debate and I believe that what many foreigners see as Germans not being able to take criticism in return is actually us Germans debating. It is very uncommon in Germany to have person A criticize Person B and then have Person B criticise Person A and then it's over. That's not how things work here. We do multiple rounds of debating and criticising the opponent and defending ourself and stating our reasons. Those long debates and "not being able to let go of the conflict" might come across as Germans not being able to take it but, in German culture, you don't have to take it if the critique is not logically sound. You are allowed to fight back stating your perspective. Silently accepting critique that is based on biases or wrong assumtions or that is "unfair" is not seen as normal here.

[@ArcO-fy8su]

​@@vornamenachname1069 Germans are the best debaters. Most Americans take it personal, can't handle it. Don't realize the critique is for their own good.

[@sarahsmaali6189]

Just discovered your channel. I love your explanation of the historical/cultural reasons for the differences. I live in Franconia which is famous also within Germany for it's coldness towards "outsiders" (which can include someone from Hamburg, for example). I was in England recently and my son was amazed when a stranger in a shop said "sorry, love" ... And someone thanked us for patting their dog! (Versus often angry suspicious glares if you even smile at someone's dog here). I don't disagree with anything you said but I do feel that even fleeting encounters can have warmth, goodwill and sincerity, and they are sadly rare here, in my experience.

[@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw]

Yoo I live in Franconia and 100% spot on with the "angry suspicious glares if you even smile at someone's dog here", so bizarre. Come to think of it, people here don't even look like theyre having fun walking their dog in the sunshine, it looks like they can't wait for the chore to be done LOL

[@user-pc8dl4cy3i]

What a comprehensive, evenhanded and insightful analysis of your adjustment to Germany. From this video, I have gathered a greater perspective of German culture and appreciate your honesty regarding adjustments you made in moving there. I believe that you have a beautiful soul along with much hard won wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing your story and magnanimous spirit to help others in their adjustment to German social norms.

[@bluesky2760]

You are a Brit and finding it difficult to make friends in Germany but imagine if you are Indian, Chinese or African. These people do not exist and they face tremendous challenges.

[@gksapmm8545]

I am Indian and my cousin has worked in Germany. He says he could not make any friends as Germans are too direct and don't mix with others. However, he also encountered issues with the Muslim mobs who basically want to Islamize the whole country. They target and molest young women like in the UK, Sweden, Nederland's etc..

[@SimplyM4M]

Why don’t you say African rather than black.

[@FutureAllenNL]

It might surprise you when I say there are a lot more Asians than Brits here. I try to integrate hence why I have made many German friends but after 10 years not a Brit.

[@bluesky2760]

@@SimplyM4M Good point. I have changed the word to African in my comment.

[@Wolfloid]

Absolutely spot on. Germans are not the most welcoming to non-white foreigners. According to most of my friends in that category they suffer racism almost everyday.

[@albionmyl7735]

I am German and have been many times in England last year after two weeks in England it was a special experience to be back in Germany and feeling this huge difference in behavior.... sorry but in compare to the english some Germans are rude, inpolite, direct and without any patiences especially in the traffic.... 😮

[@annaal7480]

Germany is the 6th long term residence for me. I lived in UK for 16 years, 6 years in Germany now. I can tell you that one can judge a country properly only after living there for at least 2 years. Your view is not the kind of view this man presents after living in Germany for 10 years. Comparing apples to oranges.

[@RickDeckard6531]

Germany still has post-war PTSD, and I'm talking about the 30 Year's War here.

[@l1ncs]

Utter bollocks. Den groessten Schwachsinn den ich je gelesen habe. Unfassbar daemmlich.

[@christopherneufelt8971]

Es ist wahr.

[@gksapmm8545]

@@l1ncs Germany has a Muslim Problem. Angela Merkel has destroyed Europe along with Germany. More destruction and unrest is awaiting. Your fake EU rulers are planning a complete Demographic shift. Brace yourselves. The Vultures are coming for your women and little girls. Be safe protect yourselves. Love from India.

[@friedaholzmuller1695]

German here. Yes, you are right, that is a good description. All nations are what history has made of them. Indeed, also we Germans underestimate the influence the many wars - an especially the 30the Year´s war - has formed our country - mentally and in its organisation and in so many other things. The violence, the destructions und depopulation of great parts of Germany in this time and in later wars has formed a German mentality that might have been difficult to understand by others. For example, our bureaucracy rooted for a large part at this time when the princes of this various countries tried to rebuild and repopulated their principalities in a for this time modern manner. They all were bankrupt. And Lutherism helped on this way. Also, our federalism has its roots in this. Since then, it was a looong way and we have also choosed wrong ways because we want to be "great" as others seemed to be. A horrible idea... Our attitude towards others use to be sometimes suspicious and seems to be unfriendly - although from my beloved Ruhr Area I know it another way - in a rough way of the miners 👷😆. To put it simply: Don´t bore me with your religion, I don’t care, don´t try to impresse my with your money, you show off, don´t annoy my with superficialities - but hold on the rules. To find a way in such company you have to invest. But it's worth the work.

[@herbbartleby2817]

Couldn’t ‘ agree more,Frieda. 2/3 of the population were extermined, plus famine and epidemics. Some foreign nations I shall not mention to their benefit were responsible and prefer to refer to german warfare in 20 th century, which is easier when coming to blame. Commenter 1 ncs is off track and does not know a thing about history. Would you blame a Jew who mentions the Holocaust 250 years from here?

[@shanghaiultra]

Introspection and reflection teaches us many lessons. Great stuff.

[@holger_p]

Yes, but it destroy intuition, emotion or empathy. If you are unaware of something, by reflection you become aware of it, and you loose your naive intuitive innocence.

[@TheBrezelboy]

I'm German-American, and I can relate to your video. I actually do like the bluntness of Germans as well, but I prefer the small talk we have in America. It just feels easier to meet new people and have interesting conversations in the US. I do prefer to have people tell it like it is, but I also prefer a smile!

[@holger_p]

Germans are more planful. They do things by intention. While Americans are more into taking a chance. They talk to 20 people, to find one interesting maybe. It's more this Try&Error attitude. But I will never getting over asking "how are you" and not expecting an answer. That's the most rude thing you can do. And if you expect an answer, it can be very indiscrete and intrusive. Just like asking "how is your bank account and have you got enough sex".

[@persiathiest1963]

German culture is grossly overvalued. I'm glad Germany is going down the toilet where is belongs.

[@yvonnesokoll8790]

Brilliant content....Thank you for your insights after living here for a decade....❤

[@languagepool-germanusingli9902]

Good video. I am in Berlin now 12 years. Lots of learning. Culturally very different form UK/Canada. I have learned to stand up for myself. I certainly don't apologise for no reason. A proper grasp of the language is absolutely critical. Anyway, you can't beat around the bush in German. It doesn't work. I like your content a lot. Your insights are well considered.

[@britingermany]

@@languagepool-germanusingli9902 thanks a lot. I appreciate the encouragement

[@FrogeniusW.G.]

I don't understand why anyone would want to beat around the bush, ever. 😅

[@languagepool-germanusingli9902]

@@britingermany Pleasure. I just wrote you an email about business. I really appreciate your integrity that shines through.

[@mcarlsson74]

@@britingermany There is a consistent effort in the media to portray Britons in a negative light tbh. If somebody wants my opinion on a complicated issue, I will need time to consider and formulate my response, before I launch into my reply. But, of course, that means I'm 'beating around the bush' or not being honest, apparently. It seems that you can't win. At some point, it just feels like continentals don't like us, which is fine, and kinda explains why a separation was needed.

[@Valkyria-ti4ww]

I can't agree with you. Why would the Brits be always portrayed in a negative way? If you are in a conversation on complicated topics and need some time to trink about your answer, just say so - we Germans will understand! And there certainly was no need to leave the EU - there is always this sort of "different but together 😊" ​where we can go on - not always without struggle, but it's worth the effort. Brexit was not neccessary for people not getting along with each other. It was caused by some egoistic a***s, who succeeded in tricking people for their own ends and their lust for power.(POV: German giving her opinion quite blunt and freely - who would have guessed? 😂)@@mcarlsson74

[@christinagipperich2780]

I’m so glad I watched video! Two things…I was there 2 years ago as a solo traveler, and that feeling of low-ness you describe was definitely felt. Not knowing the language and the directness was really hard to take and forced me to really evaluate some things in myself. My next trip will be preceded with a lot more preparation and a shift in expectations. Secondly, coming from a family with lots of German heritage, I can attest to the fact that the straightforward bluntness doesn’t go away with time. Matter of fact, I think in my family’s case, I think that communication style was reinforced by WW2 and economic circumstances. Thanks for this great historical and sociological perspective. Very well done!

[@lindaniedringhaus8790]

I recently spent 14 days in western part of Germany. Had a wonderful time and was treated openly and with respect by everyone I met!

[@benjaminmcfadyean-walsh3661]

Lightening up and gratitude and charity giving are what is missing at times

[@hansmeiser32]

I wonder how much an understanding of German Modal Particles (Doch, Halt, Mal, Eben etc.) is important to better understand German directness. These Modal Particles are also called Mood Particles for a reason. They can change the tone of an sentence quite a lot and if you don't understand them you will miss a lot of "subtext".

[@FrogeniusW.G.]

@@hansmeiser32 True.

[@Shankar-Bhaskar]

I find „Modal Partikels“ to be one of the most challenging grammar topics in the German language along with K-1 (indirekte Rede, reported speech)

[@caramella4220]

Well observed. Another little word is "wohl" which can turn what sounds like an apodictic sentence into a surmise.

[@hansmeiser32]

@@caramella4220 Da hat wohl jemand sehr gut im Deutschunterricht aufgepasst?

[@shahlabadel8628]

makes sense, good point to consider.

[@SvetlanaVladimirova8590]

Have you ever read "Three Men on the Bummel" by your English writer Jerome J. Kerome? It's about three guys cycling around Germany. One hilarious line from the book I always have remembered: "In Germany every flower is tied to a stick." 😂🤩😍

[@aboringfart413]

Well, germans even help the flowers to stand up.

[@JohnSmith-su4bb]

Brit here. Been in Germany 2 months. Complete myth about Germans being unfriendly. Nearly everybody on the street says good morning. Very polite. Germans I've met super friendly and welcoming. Joking all the time. And one further big cultural give away: drivers very polite and considerate to pedestrians.

[@alicarikcioglu8619]

Great to hear that. Where in Germany are you?

[@elhandle316]

2 months… my honeymoon period with Germany was 2 years 😊😅

[@Alexandre.Hamann]

Ich hatte auch eine ähnliche Erfahrung in Deutschland. Mit mir waren alle sehr freundlich! Ich bin Brasilianer

[@JoseJia032]

Great work! I watched it very carefully twice, and I really appreciate your effort in creating and sharing it. The way you analyze and the depth of the discussion are so valuable, standing out from many other videos I've seen on KZbin about Germany and its culture. Coupled with your calm speaking pace and gentle tone, watching your work feels very comfortable and resonates with me on a deeper level and helps me to think better! I really agree with the point that the language is the key to unlocking a country, and that’s exactly why I’m working hard to learn German. I believe learning a country's language is the most basic way to show respect for its culture and people. I’ve also heard about the straightforwardness of Germans (often misunderstood as “rudeness,” as you mentioned in the video). Interestingly, this is something I’d like to improve in myself. Due to my upbringing, I was used to expressing my thoughts in a more roundabout way, which, honestly, is an inefficient way to communicate and wastes both my time and others. Your video not only highlighted this German trait but also provided a insightful analysis of its roots, which gave me a much deeper understanding. P.S. I’m wondering if you have a podcast? I really enjoy your insights and analysis and would love to listen to your work while commuting. Wishing you all the best, and I’m looking forward to more of your videos. Thank you again!!

[@FatBobGer]

Thank you for your interesting views. One thing, you forgot to mention: German private clubs are the places, where you can make friends, if you are from outside (foreigner or living at different place in Germany). Beside sports, there are different clubs, where anyone meets anyone. In the tennis club, the CEO of the local bank may be a member and the facility manager of the same bank the next one. In our gun club, we have all kinds of professions, from workers, craftsmen to owner of big enterprises. IN these clubs, people are valued for that, what they work and provide for the club. When my father was young and had to move, his first step was always seeking a chorus, because after singing, the members sit together and have a beer/wine and a nice talk together. I am member in a gun club of a 1200 inhabitants community. This community has 40 clubs with any topic someone could imagine. The clubs are organized very professional. They have statutes, are registered, have a general meeting, votings, who will become board member.... In our gun club, we helped to build a indoor firing range with 14000 hours of honorary work. This working together is creating strong bonds between the club members. At a workday at the range, always 25+ members show up to help. But we have a problem with aging members..... It is difficult to find younger successors.

[@JMA864]

Is this the kind of organization calleda “verein”? It’s same in France, or at least it was 15 years ago-EVERYBODY was wildly committed to some kind of “association.” Used to be that way in the US but no longer, alas (guilty as charged myself).

[@Troul478]

I believe this bluntness also blends in with our perfectionism. We are unwilling to put up with something that doesn't work as it should and we will insist that the situation or item be fixed.

[@Navinor]

I am a so called "russian-german". Fitting into a culture is never easy. While i have integrated well into the german society a lot of russian-germans haven't. Same as for a lot of german-turks or turks. I watched your video about britain and how it changed. For a lot of people this fact is hard to accept. Some people want to go back somtimes to the society they came from, but sadly this society doesn't exist anymore even when it is the same old country. As a german i grew up with tolkien and stories about king arthur. But i am well aware that the british or english culture i grew up with, doesn't exist anymore. At least not like it was 30 years ago.

[@Rich-xg2cg]

We have seen how “ maintaining order” worked out in the past in Germany .

[@ritashustitzky4324]

Listening to you describe Germans made me feel like I may understand better my own personality. I always believed that truthfulness was more important than pretending what I feel. I grew up with parents with a German background. I am in my 70's now and struggle with relationships. Thanks for giving me insight on why I may have some of these personality tates.

[@maltesephil]

I must go to Germany one day. I've been learning the language for a while now

[@JLeoH]

I am German and I hate this place. I have concrete plans of leaving. It wasn't always like this. But there has been a dark cloud hanging over this place ever since the arrival of so many people that don't play by the rules and take advantage of the soft government (esp. since 2015). If it's your home country you see so effectively being ruined, it's detrimental to your well-being; your daily mood becomes fragile when outside. Just looking up in any city can spoil it for me. Think of buses, trains and public spaces. I am not the only one feeling like this. Also my foreign friends who have come to work here, have shown big disappointment in what this place continues to evolve into. It's becoming a low trust society at alarming speed. If you work, you will automatically pay for the acceleration of this process with your taxes.

[@aboringfart413]

100 % correct. Volle Zustimmung.

[@solarground]

Thanks again Benjamin or a great thought piece. I have lived in German for 5 years but because I have remained employed in the UK I haven't got that full immersive experience yet. Having retired in December and I hope to make more progress with language. Being dyslexic adds to the challenge. Apart from my German partner I don't really have any German friends yet but I hope that will change. I do recognize the them of your discussion and agree with your conclusions. I worked in the UK for a German company for 20 years so again no huge shocks for me and my partner believes this is my cultural home, especially when I tut tut tut at the rubbish left around the paper recycling bins and I always wait for the green man.

[@CoastersandPop]

Really interesting views, on my few trips to Germany I’ve really found many to be warm and although direct it’s refreshing

[@juttaweber60]

I value your view on my home country very much. Had to adjust to being truly German after decades abroad. Among other countries I have lived in the UK for many years. There are quite a few Brexit refugees like us trying to make sense of the cultural mental chaos the last move creates in us. I love your posts. Long may they continue.

[@neyhmor]

I'm meanwhile a German citizen and I love to live here. But you are spot on this: Many German folks love to be honest about what they think you are doing wrong, but can't take it when it comes to.their mistakes.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Don't back down.

[@aboringfart413]

Nein! Stimmt nicht! (Brüller)

[@barbsmart7373]

Kia ora from New Zealand. "I hope to do the same for someone some day". I hope you do. I understand you saying it was humbling to be helped by people you'd never met before. But I wanted to write a possible viewpoint from your new friends. I have met many travellers and offered them a place to stay while they are travelling through my city or if they pass through there another time. I have never forgotten my new friends who stayed with us. I have incredibly warm memories of all but one of them. I met most of the people on longdistance buses. They came from the Netherlands, Samoa, Nigeria etc. Each of these guests is a representative of their country I feel.

[@PilotedRobots]

I've never encountered such ruthless backstabbers as some of the German engineers and toolmakers I've worked with.

[@Stanly-Stud]

Definitely are back stabbers & if you challenge them tgey go running to your boss. Ex DDR guys are the worst.

[@ObltKG4]

Having traveled from Canada to Germany several times for short period stays over 20 years, it resonates with me the points of social interaction. I felt it immediately. I will return, even though not yet at the level of relationships with folk, it's more the absence of plastic facade that appeals. I loathe the insincerity of a cashier asking me how I am, a complete stranger.

[@user-tc6xg5ze2u]

So many people, both men and women, no matter what nationality or background suffer wth loneliness. It is part of our human condition and very much poverty of the spirit. But there are tools that help, one simply needs to learn how to use them. Good luck everyone ❤

[@AndrewMartin-i3i]

As a person also from the Anglosphere (albeit Australia, which is more direct in communication than the UK :)), I appreciate your thoughtful considerations and perspectives, v interesting

[@Korp49034]

I work here in retail and YES - Germans are rude, brusque and most of these faces, that come to you in the store every day, get you to depression

[@henningbartels6245]

These experiences are also troublesome in the opposite direction as German working in the US. When asked about technical problems at work, "everything was fine" for my American colleagues. But I in my German mentally named certain problems with a this interface or that programm, which in the end was regarded as if I were the only one with these problems and the information was not valued as benificial for a possible improvement.

[@Gert-DK]

The language, I totally agree with you. It is much more important than you think. We Danes can put two or more things in a sentence just with adjusting the tone, like the British. It can't be translated, only learned. Most of our jokes will be "black talk" for you. The Germans really used that during WWII, it wasn't everything they could say directly, so they very fast learned to speak “double tongue”. I suppose they still can do that. German humor during WWII was actually quite funny. An example: At the west front, an old, and a young German soldier standing talking. The old one says: If you see a lot of silver colored aircraft in the sky, it is the Americans. If you see a lot of brown aircraft, it is the English. If you see nothing, it is Luftwaffe. With that one the old German told a story, with multiple meanings, pick which one you like. Friend wise, it's the same here in DK. Like the Germans, Luther have also had an impact on our culture. Danes are very much pragmatic. And I believe it goes to a degree with Germans too. Here in DK we do not go asking "Are you OK?" or "Everything OK?". We assume you are OK. But we certainly expect you to ask, if you are having problems. We are raised to help each other. In school, we are taught to help each other. Over 50% of studying in school is done in groups. In some examens you go in as a group. I don't know how the Germans are regarding helping you if you ask, but I know they will not kill you. In DK, don't be late. It is seen as disrespect. Guess it's the same in Germany. As the Germans we are branded as without humor. I can luckily prove the opposite. Video with humor from the highest place:"Laughter in Danish Parliament during Question Time." I will add, I have seen, even Merkel laugh, so the Germans must have humor. Moving to another country requires you to forget much of your past culture and ways of doing things, as it won't work in the new country. Seeing or hearing something silly in the new country, always apply a why? There is always a good reason to why it is done like this in the new country. Summary: Learn the language. (very important). Give it a think and apply "why?" Asking, won't kill you. Learn the do's and don'ts.

[@geistreichtube]

Speaking of German humour: How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. We are efficient, and we have no humour. 😐

[@Gert-DK]

@@geistreichtube As I said, Germans do have humor. 🙂 In my post, I touched willingness to help others when asked. How would you say Germans are?

[@mcarlsson74]

"Laughter in Danish Parliament during Question Time." Yeah. Just hilarious, coming from complete criminals who just virtually poisoned the entire nation, with no response from the gullible non-free thinking public.

[@rainerm.8168]

In real estate they say location, location, location. Living abroad that would be language, language, language. In Germany and everywhere.

[@Gert-DK]

@@rainerm.8168 Yeah. Can you recognize the German in the Luftwaffe story?

[@dondomingo6578]

What an insightful and intelligent video!

[@doloresmey]

Das hast du wirklich auf den Punkt gebracht. Sehr gut. Allerdings würde ich dennoch sagen, dass es ein Riesenunterschied ist, ob man auf dem Land in kleinen Dörfern und Gemeinden oder in einer Multi-Kulti-Metropole wie Frankfurt lebt. Das Leben ist da so viel anonymer und isolierter. Auf dem Dorf ist Smalltalk beim Bäcker oder auf Straße alltäglich. Man kennt sich und tauscht sich aus. Das gilt auch für Zugezogene. Die sind sicher manchmal überrascht, was die Leute alles wissen wollen. 😉😅

[@brummiebluenoseburns6517]

Hi Ben . This must have been a brave video to make. I had the opportunity to work and build a life in Germany with my Frau. She has a lovely family and great friends, however she told me i was too English to make it work. Please make everyone aware there is more than one German language. Even the autobahn was too much stressful for me. Good luck !!

[@ytfanfan]

I do think direct is better than beating around the bush but how you frame your very honest point of view is the major problem. I am a believer that we can inspired our surrounding , our German friends, to be more kind and loving because it is a universal human need. As a foreigner here in Germany, facing the current political climate around the world, I think there's enough need to iterate this further for the better especially in Berlin. I do not agree with integrating ideas and behaviors that fundamentally makes little sense/further negative vibe. The beauty of being able to interact and live in a city with different cultures is to be able to learn what is great together and lessen what makes less sense through inspiring conversations. Life is hard, and we all have the duty to create kindness for us and to others. By the way, if you enjoy listening to some soothing music, I am creating some on my channel with the intend to expand love and compassion.

[@l1ncs]

Germans are kind and loving. It's just not the fluffy nonsense type. We just have clear boundaries and expect people to be able to manage themselves properly and have a spine sufficiently to call a spade a spade when needed. Taking responsibility is anchored in civic law for a reason. Berlin is socially a bit edgier because of the Berliner mentality. That is a local phenomenon. ...but that is also known and it is expected that people adapt. It's actually very simple and they are solid people.

[@suzannedoidge5535]

Excellent video, thank you! We visited Köln last year, only for a week, so we were definitely tourists. I brushed up my schoolgirl German and tried to use it as often as possible. I discovered that the majority of Germans are very friendly and even have a sense of humour! Except the ladies working in the bäckerei who were very 'blunt'... because they had a job to do and were very busy.

[@JScot92]

The German approach to interactions sounds refreshing. I'm a pretty reserved Scottish guy, and I hate how almost every service interaction here features a pressure to make small talk and be social. So many people in the UK have this inbuilt need to be perceived as the nicest, most friendly person on earth: immediately calling you "mate," trying to be funny etc. It's nice on occasion, but the way it's integrated into every aspect of life can be exhausting.

[@mcarlsson74]

Yeah yeah. The English are so terrible, everything they do is wrong, so fake, bla bla. Such a tedious, sad sack response.

[@ericsupportadventure9577]

Amazing video. As a Canadian of Slovak German (Austrian, really) descent, this has really helped me understand myself from a German lens. I also lived in Serbia and a lot of the directness is the same, but their culture is more fun.

[@asmirann3636]

First decide what you are !!! You are many things in one, very confusing. Btw if you are a mischling, then you are not German. If somehow your skin tone darkened over generations, then you are definitely not German.

[@JosephJanitorius-p5v]

I'm an American guy who has lived in Germany for the past 25 years. I've happily adapted to most things. But there's one thing that still annoys me: The old ladies who relentlessly harangue me about all the things they have decided I do wrong, and the list seems to be endless. But I've never had that problem from the men. They're generally low-key and mind their own business.

[@rainerm.8168]

Are these old ladies family by chance? 😊

[@JosephJanitorius-p5v]

@@rainerm.8168 They would like that, but, alas, most of them are just Erbschleicherinnen (golddiggers!)

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Just say "my country ALLOWS your country to exist". I use it in Holland (in Dutch) and it shuts them up if they criticize America.

[@annepoitrineau5650]

@@GUITARTIME2024 That is very arrogant. It would not shut me up. I would just leave you and never set eyes on you again, but that probably would not bother you. On the other hand, a person making lists of what's wrong with you might not deserve much better??

[@GUITARTIME2024]

@annepoitrineau5650 go tend to your cats. Trump is back and America is in charge.

[@authunhx3129]

It depends on which part of Germany you are in. I have lived and worked in Niedersachsen, the Rheinland and amongst the Schwaben. Life is very different in each of these locations. The one thing they have in common is that they all know how to party and I like to return to those events and hang out with the friends I made when I was there.

[@DeMontaigne86]

Naturally, I much prefer a frank approach to communication. British sarcasm, self-repression, banter and self-deprication can wear very thin. What looks like warm commaraderie, can actually be disrespectful. And knowing the difference is not at all clear. Combined with modern, fragmented relationships in a disconnected society, it's a toxic load to bear. Would rather have been born German. As an after-thought, I would add that to engage successfully in Brutish culture, a sharp wit (a trait I lack) is essential, preferably one that is double barbed. Personally, the older generation tend to be much easier to get along with. Possibly Britons mellow with age, or maybe British society has changed.

[@texasinjuly7309]

This, couldn’t have said it better. I’m Canadian and prefer German communication way more. I find Canadians are similar in the sense that it’s passive aggressive communication and they are polite but you don’t really know how they feel…

[@pierzing.glint1sh76]

I prefer the British culture of indirectness...life is much more funny and interesting that way compared to German directness and simpleness Don't you think?

[@DeMontaigne86]

@pierzing.glint1sh76 Obviously not.

[@vornamenachname1069]

As a German who moved to Japan half a year ago and has been working together with an Australian ever since, I have to say that this video is one of the best in terms of explaining the differences in values and communication between Germany and the anglosphere.

[@anthonydowling3356]

About being blunt .An example .I was staying in Aachen in transit not living there full time ,a few years ago .As i was smoking a small cigar in a public park a guy playing tennis near by came over and in a rough manner said "put that out it stinks " .A small incident but it has stayed in my mind .Overall though i like Germany and even made a big effort to learn the language at one stage .

[@whattheflyingfuck...]

stop playing tennis, your sweat stinks.

[@FrogeniusW.G.]

Well, in this situation I think it depends on who was there first. In my opinion it would be _as_ rude to start smoking (maybe cigar even more) next to people doing sports.. But if _you_ sat there first, it's on them. I think there's always two sides to every story. Maybe from _their_ perspectives you were the rude one. I don't know, I wasn't there.

[@AltIng9154]

… 😊 . Even in Germany, that might not happen frequently! 😊

[@AltIng9154]

@@FrogeniusW.G. I am a nonsmoker, but to complain that there is someone smoking outside, … I regard to be sign of oversensitivity ! We have a nice saying: You can’t bare a fly at the wall? 😊 I would say, … I can’t bare your after shave… 😊

[@FrogeniusW.G.]

@@AltIng9154 As I said, it depends on the context/situation. If somebody is doing sports, you just shouldn't sit yourself next to it, lighting a cigar. If you sit there smoking, someone should not stand/sit/exercise next to you, if they bother. Quite easy.

[@VicariousLord]

As a very confused Germano-Polski-Brit, you made too much sense to my mind.

[@eastfrisian_88]

That's kind of true about the friends. I grew up in a village, almost in a sheltered bubble and then when I moved to the city ... oh dear, I was naive, I was taken advantage of, disappointed, there was a really severe reality check. Now at almost 38 (ughhh 40 is knocking!) instead of 20+ "friends" I still have friendships that I can count on one hand and these are really deep friendships that I've had for many years and it gets really hard to make new friends with age. But I'm happy so far and I'm always open to making new friends. I can only heartily recommend this to every expat: Do you have interests? Look for a club ("Verein") in your area if available. Do you like sports? Then clubs or informal groups are ideal. You are religious? We have a lot of churches and groups there. In some communities and cities there are also meeting centers ("Begegnungscenter") and this is also a great way to meet new people. It can also work via the workplace/job, but there are many Germans (like me, unfortunately lol) who separate work and career more or less strictly and therefore it might be more difficult.

[@bluedawg2641]

From the US and we lived in Germany for a few years in the 90s. We grew up in the south and southwest US but lived in the US northeast before moving to Germany. The US northeast is a little less friendly and harder to interface with than the rest of the US. We found Germany to be very similar to the US northeast for things like customer service and interfacing with strangers.

[@kvas101]

I always recommend to Join a Verein..Thats the best way to get in touch with locals frequently and there are lots of them for every interest. Its also not expensive.

[@AnitaHunt-hu2hy]

Thank you. Really interesting.

[@zxbn4566]

To me, as a level-1 autist, everything you say about German social culture suggests that German-speaking nations are collectively closer to the autism spectrum than most. The blunt directness, the long-term loyalty to old friends, the love of clearcut rules, municipal cleanliness and order, the aptitude for technical stuff, the distain for inconsequential small-talk.

[@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw]

absolutely.

[@malikau917]

Doing some team sport and Learning German are the key to success

[@borisnegrarosa9113]

I'm often in Germany and can only say it's a country of extremes. I meet lovable people as much as I meet unfriendly and even aggressive individuals. I remember when I visited the museum of Wiesbaden. Many guards were keeping an eye on me, most probably because of my black beard. Maybe they thought I was hiding a bomb in the beard.

[@stephrichards4611]

Sorry if this is off topic, but watching your video really made me reflect on my culture. I know you were generalising about the UK, but I think there are regional differences. I live in Wales, born here, and our mental attitude has always been that we are one large family of people. People are friendly to strangers because we are all connected by something deeper. I think a lot of it has to do with the repression of the Welsh language and the politics. An us vs them mentality. I think the people from Liverpool also feel very connected in England like the Welsh, more than other areas, maybe for similar reasons (accent, politics). Thank you for your video and I look forward to getting more of a perspective of German life. My elder sister had a Penfriend from Germany and she was lovely, she came to stay with us not long after the fall of the Berlin wall).