The Histrionic Female

[@staciehulm4595]

I was alarmed to hear that Histrionic Personality Disorder might be removed from the Cluster B spectrum. I dont know if that's still the case. This disorder is particularly insidious because it's often masked by magnanimity. In this way, you can go a long time not realizing that you're dealing with a narcissist that is set on draining you of your energy by consuming your time (through lengthy and frequent phone calls, for example). They use flattery to keep you on the hook and appeal to your emotions. They future fake so that they dont have to invest any real time in you. They say things like, "you're more than just a friend; you're family," as a way to keep you around for years. If you get a "religious" one, they spread gossip and drama by constantly asking for prayer for people whom you might not even know for outlandish issues that are none of their or your business. They often mimic the way you talk. They love to be the go to person for sound, wise advice (even when you haven't asked for it) because they are masters of impression and they feign to know everything about everything. They can seem cute and cuddly, but they're not really interested in a real friendship. You can tell you've dealt with one when you go no contact and they get angry and stalk you. If they manage to contact you again, they turn on the magnanimity as a way to pick back up right where they left off. They are controlling in a whimsical way, so that you end up kowtowing to them. Be careful. This is an extremely underestimated condition.

[@charlesmorse386]

You nailed it. Good description of the "histrionic relational experience" To be sure every behavior you itemized has many subtle variations that can be manifested in various social situations and contexts. The "religious" one has a secular counterpart that doesn't ask for prayer but manages to garner attention and sympathy while trashing their target as they hide behind a mask of earnest concern. I experienced this first hand with my father when I inadvertently overheard him tearing me down with a circle of his flying monkeys. They most disconcerting thing about the whole experience is that what he was saying about me had absolutely no grounding in reality. He was actually gaslighting the flying monkeys but he sounded so sincere that it was as if he was actually gaslighting himself at the same time. This is a source of conative dissonance because one does not know if you are dealing with a psychopath or someone that is totally out of touch with reality. Very disconcerting thing to experience. I agree with you 100% that the histrionic component of the cluster "B" is extremely underestimated and yet highly toxic to targets.

[@alexbaird2670]

I think this is my neighbour. A "copy cat" nut job (I.e had to paint her house the same colour as mine).. Laid on the flattery, but never followed through with anything. Never actually does anything for anyone, but gets them to do her shit for her. I walked away from her and her doormat husband over 2 yrs ago. She is also a social climber.

[@Portia620]

@@alexbaird2670 Many are social climbers are the only hang out with people that have status power or money!

[@Rociocant]

@@alexbaird2670 So interesting! In my experience, all the histrionic females I know have a doormat husband.

[@zeddeka]

The ICD, the world health organisation's system used in many parts of the world outside America, has gone one step further and has abolished all of the old personality disorders. It has moved towards a dimensional, spectrum type model that records all the traits someone has. The view is that trying to shoe horn all the traits into separate disorders is artificial and reductive. In many instances, people are diagnosed with more than one personality disorder in any event. The ICD system reflects the type of thinking of people like the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg, who believed for example that Narcissistic personality disorder was essentially just a coping mechanism for an underlying borderline personality type. Different sides of the same coin. The ICD has moved towards that kind of thinking - that the various personality disorders aren't separate at all and may well be just different manifestations of an underlying problem, so it's artificial to put them into different categories.

[@m0L3ify]

Growing up with a histrionic sibling gives whole new meaning to "sibling rivalry"

[@quantumfineartsandfossils2152]

Yes! & as the above commenter says: "You can tell you've dealt with one when you go no contact and they get angry and stalk you. " especially after long periods of sadistic neglect that they forgot to document- then they tell people that you are "impossible to contact" "always late" etc etc they are totally mentally unstable & probably everyone can see it especially when they have records like all any abusers do (lack of restraint or regard for the law). Then they 'compete' with you after criminally abusing you for so long it is like w t f-. They are very unstable abusers.

[@KizetteandTotoro]

My mother must always be the centre of attention. I was her nemesis from the day I was born. She beat me up every day. I grew up terrified (anything I did or did not do would great me a beaten). She divorced my father and moved to the other side of the country where she build this new world of lies (nobody knos her there) and she thinks she is a guru. It is sickening to hear her speak and constantly give out advice and opinions on what others should do (she is so wise) I enabled her most of my life waitng for her to change into the mother I always wanted. Until I found out she had run away conning my father (he is not a saint either, but still…) and then her second husband and finally…me! 30 years of lies. I haven’t contacted her in almost a year. That’s one narcissist/ histrionic person out of my life (and the root of all my problems). I think the “She is your mother/father/family” narrative is very harmful and can keep someone in bonded to trauma for a very long time. It doesnt matter who they are. If they are toxic and they are hurting you…run, don’t look back. You only have one life and you deserve to start enjoy living it now. Good luck to everyone who has opened their eyes and is on their way to healing from the damage this mosters do to others.

[@erik6789]

May you have many, many more years of bliss, free of her.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

I have a very similar story. She abused me as a small child, left me when i was 7 and moved across the country, came back into my life at 16 and i went no contact at 37.

[@lukespector5550]

Joyce Meyer?

[@LightLivingEst80]

I agree we are constantly fed the guilt trip of that "But that's your momma , you only get one momma " sort of narrative and Hollywood is no help they do cover mental illness but it seems like the public doesn't quite understand how regular this issue is , the emotional incest they are parasitic ppl !! There are great movies I've watched so many trying to understand mental health because I've been attacked by many people with disorders including y mom , but I'm an empath type of personality myself but I'm to the point where I blow up and I don't want to do that so I'm here learning

[@LightLivingEst80]

​@@lukespector5550The preacher lady?

[@chriswatson2407]

It has been a while, as I have moved on, but I used to say to people about my sister "I would prefer to be assaulted and beaten up in the street than have a conversation with her'. The surface damage will repair itself but the words run deep.

[@mgu1N1n1]

I know exactly what you mean.

[@petitpoulpe2435]

I had a histrionic boss once. She was so insecure, she hired me but always saw me as a threat. She ended up having me fired for no good reason. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@kerrib2568]

I’ve always thought my (now ex) mother in law was Histrionic… but you guys let me know what you think. She would constantly make inappropriate usually sexual jokes at the dinner table. Even when I had just met her. Her stories were often about her and how men and boys flirted / propositioned her (like the bag boy at the grocery store, or random strangers, or neighbors) it was absurd and made everyone uncomfortable. She had a doormat husband (poor Bert. He’s a good guy.) She was obsessed with her son (who became my husband) and talked about him in an almost sexual way. She would slap his butt, feel his muscles, and hug and kiss on him a bit too long. She immediately hated me and threw insults at me disguised as “jokes” Ex: out of the blue she said I have the body of a 12 year old boy. (she’s a large woman and I was slim). She cried at our wedding…but not like one would. More like big boogery sobs…like at a funeral. I’m pretty sure she wanted to marry her son. 🤔 She put post-it’s with remarks on them all through my wedding album (we just asked her if she wanted copies of some pics) with things like “beautiful angel!” on pics of other women (southern = better than me. Lol) and mine read: “nice one!” And “cleavage?!” 😑 She spread hateful gossip about me that was completely made up. She was really odd about gifts. There was a list she kept of acceptable expensive items. Llardo figurines and the like…and if you strayed from the list she would pitch a fit. Yet…she’d gift my babygirl (her only grandchild ) these old stained Salvation Army onesies…with dinosaurs 🦖 🦕 on them…it just…it was so weird. They had money…iso that wasn’t it. It just felt to me like a message: you don’t matter. Idk. I had two girls, and she was always terribly jealous of all 3 of us. Annnyway. He cheated on me, we divorced, and he’s now remarried to someone just like his momma. Good luck! 😘

[@LightLivingEst80]

Ugh what a nightmare! Yes she's very histrionic and she's doing what's known as emotional incest , hope your children don't see her much

[@ktwhimsy6946]

Wow. I’m not an expert, but this sounds EXACTLY like my step mom, who I believe is histrionic and or narcissistic…. She’s been married to my poor dad for over 20 years & he literally waits on her hand & foot - he’s retired but made quite a fortune, she controls all the money and even keeps his checkbook & cards locked in a safe that he doesn’t have the combo to. Meanwhile, he does ALL the cooking, cleaning, driving, household chores, yard work, etc, literally bringing her food to her in bed for most meals. She belittles him constantly, even in front of me & my 2 sons (so I can only imagine what it’s like when they’re alone), she’s isolated him from all his friends & remaining family, and only ever wants to see my boys when she visits (she also hates women, especially me because I look so much like my mother) …. She blames me for never having kids of her own, because I was such a “sensitive” child, and decided to adopt her 38 year old cousin to fill that void (never knew you could adopt an adult!)…. I always thought she was super inappropriate with him as well, like you described… she sits on his lap, and holds his hand & gives him “wet willies”…. It’s just…. Gross. Now she wants to have my 2 sons fly down to their home (apparently I’m not invited, not that I’d want to go) to stay for 2 weeks and my dad doesn’t understand why I’m saying no… it’s like he’s afraid if she doesn’t get her way… she even went ahead and booked their flights before consulting me, their legal guardian… it’s absolute insanity. I tried to confront her, but whenever there’s an issue, she has my dad deal with it, and I just feel like he’s now broken beyond repair & there’s nothing I can do… he has to know there is something wrong with her!

[@gigicolada]

She sounds more narcissistic than histrionic to me, but there are similarities and it’s so hard to tell!

[@karadiberlino]

Of course he cheated on you! I mean girrrrl! 😩 You had allll the red flags waved right in your face. Never forget: It takes two to ruin a relationship and it‘s usually not just the man - it‘s also his mother. 😂😂😂 But jokes aside, I am glad you got rid of that douchebag. 🚮 The apple never falls far…

[@jakebe4915]

I think she's comorbid....HPD and NPD... She sounds insufferable

[@texasrefugee7888]

My ex-husband was borderline and histrionic. Some of his behaviors should be in psychiatric books. I realized I was married to a child and when I left him his evil wicked self really came out.

[@annwethenorth]

They would be in the dsm 5 you can look it up

[@zeddeka]

They're very often interlinked. The ICD system which is used in most countries outside America has abolished all the old personality disorders and replaced them with a dimensional, spectrum type model that records all the various personality disorder traits someone has and the severity of those traits. The ICD system now views the things you have mentioned like your husband's histrionic and borderline personality traits as different sides of the same coin - manifestations of the same underlying problems. Their view is that it's simplistic and reductive to put these things into separate personality disorders boxes like the DSM does. The ICD system reflects the type of thinking of people like the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg. He believed for example that Narcissistic personality disorder was simply a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying borderline personality type.

[@gergatron7000]

After studying this subject at length, and experiencing this in several partners over the years, I'm convinced that any person with Cluster B traits can visit any one of the classifications (ie: vulnerable, grandiose, histrionic, malignant, etc) in any given situation. I believe that narcissism isn't just a linear spectrum, but a combination of any one of the traits within Cluster B.

[@zeddeka]

It's very common if a person has one cluster B personality disorder for them to have at least one of the others. Cluster B is described as the "dramatic /erratic / emotional" group and there's a lot of overlap between the types. It'd be interesting to see how we view these things in 50-100 years time when our understanding has increased a lot. It could be that they're a kind of "pick and mix" of traits of more or less the same underlying issue. In particular, it'll be interesting to see how much of it is genetics, and how it links in with other things such as ADHD.

[@annwethenorth]

That's untrue. Personality isn't black and white.

[@zeddeka]

The ICD system which is used in most countries outside America has gone a step further. It's abolished all the old personality disorders and replaced them with a dimensional, spectrum type model that records all the various personality disorder traits someone has and the severity of those traits. Much like you've said that these things can appear to be a spectrum, the ICD system now views these things as potentially just different sides of the same coin - manifestations of the same underlying problems. Their view is that it's simplistic and reductive to put these things into separate personality disorders boxes like the DSM does. The ICD system reflects the type of thinking of people like the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg. He believed for example that Narcissistic personality disorder was simply a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying borderline personality type.

[@gigicolada]

I’m seeing this too!!!

[@mdc6993]

Wow! This describes my ex sister in law to the max! She was so excessively dramatic and attention seeking all the time. She eventually became manic as in bipolar, and then went into psychosis, lost her mind, mostly I think from her excessive dieting and just living on coffee!

[@hissyfitz7890]

Amazing how one’s diet effects everything.

[@janetpattison8474]

Recently met a sweet, diet/no food/live on coffee addict, who had me over for lunch. She didn’t eat, so that was odd. Fast forward a month, she married an extremely abusive boyfriend. That was it for me. I let go of the friendship since I have a problem w/ trying to rescue people.

[@helenatroy33]

Let's not blame the coffee, the btch is crazy. These types of people are my least favourite. The worst. Everything is fine one minute, chasing you with a knife the next.

[@goldbrick2563]

Maybe your brother was part of the problem

[@Utaker935]

Thanks for this Darren. This helped me to understand what Histrionic disorder was. I thought it may have been connect to bringing up historical events all the time to attack. It it is a great video to show its really about drama and attention. It confirms that it is highly likely I deal with NPD (wife or other) person. It is hard to define what my relationship is. I only know that every problem is mine and all the work needs to be done by me and my effort is hers and less important than her.

[@DarrenFMagee]

I’m glad you found it helpful

[@zeddeka]

"Histrionic" comes from the Latin word "histrio" which means "actor". To behave in a histrionic way therefore means to put on a performance. A lot of people get confused and think it's from "hysteria" because it sounds similar, but they're not related. Hysteria comes from the ancient Greek word "hystera" which means "womb". The ancient Greeks thought that hysterical behaviour was caused in women by their womb wandering around their body!

[@meme-zv7kw]

This guy is awesome so many people are dealing with mental illness and his channel is very helpful

[@lukespector5550]

He's not awesome. He means well, however, the mass movement of parental divorce & instant gratification .vs. traditional values has made those in his profession busier than ever before. Like lawyers, this man is simply fishing with driftnets, so to speak, as opposed to standing onshore with the one rod. Political correctness amongst most Western KZbin viewers only makes his odds of success all the better. I've nothing against him personally.

[@karadiberlino]

@@lukespector5550Ok.

[@remaxintegrityrealty]

Dealing with a female neighbour whose gone off the deep end. destroying her own and my property, and you described her to a tee! Thank you for the insight. Love your explanations and descriptions!

[@ciaraskeleton]

It really gets my goat that people in the comments with 0 psychiatric or psychological knowledge decide to diagnose their parent, friend or neighbour based on an informational video. This is a really informative video, i think you explain this PD very well. However i do wish that ignorant people would stop taking this information out of context and labelling every tom dick and harry as a 'narcissist' (using that example as ive just seen someone in the comments fall HPD narcissism, and no its not). I wish the public could be trusted with academic material without misusing said material. Such a disappointing part of studying this subject.

[@KizetteandTotoro]

Thank you so much for all this invaluable information. Knowledge is definetly power. I am so happy I found your channel. I follow other experts on this subject but I particularly like your presentation and delivery. I feel like I have learned so much and I also feel so calm. Thank you Dr. Magee.

[@shaanz2.087]

Atleast 500 women come to my mind while watching THIS content. It perfectly describes them 😁😁😁😁

[@jooliagoolia9959]

Great video, thank you! I'll add litigious... My parent changed their will like most people buy phones these days and threatened to sue more people than I can count.

[@realnaveen]

That's why low threshold for hypocrisy and drama is reasonable self defense mechanism in all social situations.

[@graveyardghost2603]

I grew up with a histrionic stepmom. One morning at 6 a.m. she woke up the whole family, screaming "where are my black patent shoes! Who took them?!" It turns out they were under her bed the whole time.

[@graveyardghost2603]

@@lancer4709 yeah sounds pretty funny, but the memory still makes me cringe!

[@graveyardghost2603]

@Lucy 2021 I know, they will never admit they were wrong.

[@galaxy98765]

I feel for you Lucy. My father accused me of taking his "CD's". "You took my CD's", he said, about ready to start crying. I thought of those little round disks that have music on them. I didn't think he had any of those. But he kept accussing me of taking them. After much confusion on my part, I finally discovered he meant that I took his "CD's", as in "Certificates of Deposit" at his bank. I had NOT taken those, and in fact that would have been impossible, as I had no legal connection to any of his bank accounts. Further confused, I was finally able to pull out of him that he was accusing me of taking the statements for the CD's (paper), that came regularly in the mail, that he had all bunched together. The next day, he found them in his night stand drawer, right where he had put them. I, like you, got NO apology. He did things like this daily. For the person who is wondering if this is connected to narcissism, I don't know, but my father was a full-blown narcissist in every sense of the word. Keep believing in yourselves.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

It's hilarious if it weren't so awful to deal with. They really are funny i can laugh at it now. I have a similar story with pillows, she called everyone in the family accusing us of taking her pillows. She did this many times of the years. My brother and i used to have an inside joke where we would call each other and say 'where's my pillow! '😂 by the way she would always find what she was missing but never owned up that it was her misplacing something 😂

[@saradiaz2277]

@@show_me_your_kitties honestly I used to have that bad habit as a kid. 😂 I mean you can say sorry for it but really does it make anything better after accusing everyone of being a thief 😂

[@deathofathousandcuts4255]

This mimics Narcissistic traits actually fit's better with my Ex Narc, have to educate myself better! 🙏💪

[@kristalynn2237]

Dead accurate. I appreciate someone who truly understands this personality disorder.

[@charlesmorse386]

Another good video Darren. I posted a few responses to other comments and I hope you get a chance to read them and comment on them along with the original comments or questions. I would love for you to do a video on the cognitive dissonance often suffered by people as they go through the painful process of breaking out of the "matrix" like false reality created by a parent/parents with NPD/BPD/HPD. It has been said that a fish doesn't know what water is until it is actually out of the water!

[@hissyfitz7890]

Love the 🐠/💦 quote!

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you for your suggestion I’ll cover cognitive dissonance in a future video

[@LightLivingEst80]

​@@DarrenFMageeI can truly appreciate that you respond to your listeners , many you tubers do not , I love your channel, its very clear to understand and put forth in a non clinical way so that us "ninny hammers" may have a clear understanding of the subject / topic.

[@mzliberty7647]

another great vid... wont be long.. this channel is gonna .. boom ... [explode] the hard work is gonna pay off ..... [yes]

[@jennywilson3740]

What causes anyone to want to be the center of attention all the time? Do you have a video describing the possible reasons? I love the way you explain these personality disorders. It helps us understand, interact, and set healthy boundaries with family, friends, neighbors or co-workers who exhibit such behaviors. Thank You!!

[@staciehulm4595]

Hi Jenny. From what I understand, attention seeking fills the void. Any Cluster B type lacks an internal locus of control. They're emotions are controlled by an external locus of control, meaning that they have to be constantly fed by the energy/attention of others in order to maintain a sense of identity e.g., ego. They can't self regulate. Without outside attention, good or bad, they implode and experience mortification or emotional meltdown. It's a terrible way to live. Many of them are aware of what's happening, but they lack the empathy to care to do anything about it. They have to maintain the mask to the world. They are their own gods and they worship themselves in this way and they demand worship from the rest of us. Anything less leads to horror which they'll do anything to avoid.

[@charlesmorse386]

In my experience (retired mental health counselor) these people were often the "golden child" in a dysfunctional family system. To be more succinct they were put on a pedestal and worshiped by their parent/parents. When I say worshiped that is exactly what I mean. I also have a father that is NPD/BPD/HPD (lucky me) and in attempting to unravel what happened to him in order to account for his unfortunate condition I concluded that the process of pedestalization by his parents played a major role. Sam Vaknin also concurs that pedestalization by parents is often a major factor in the formation of grandiose NPD and HPD symptomology or the full disorders.

[@zeddeka]

It's complex and can vary from person to person. As with other personality disorders, it's generally thought to be a mixture of genetics and upbringing. "Nature loads the gun but nurture pulls the trigger". Obviously, with some people the proportion of nature versus nurture can vary hugely and it's why some kids from the same family with very similar upbringings can have very different personalities. One child may have inherited genes the other one hasn't, or had slightly different experiences.

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

Gives them a dopamine hit. Like a temporary high. They are basically drug addicts always looking for their next fix

[@Sarit473]

I'm the best to answer your question as I have HPD traits, and narcissistic fleas. Most of cluster B, comes out of trauma, and genetically Cluster B family. In my case for example, my father was a narcissist/sociopath with borderline traits. Because he had NPD and ASPD I grown up in a dysfunctional family, and I had to work a lot on myself to never develope a desorder, even if I have cluster B traits, probably more than a neutotypical. To sum it up, genetic, childhood, being neglected during early age, can develope any cluster B desorder. Any question, ask me:)

[@whatkatydid7901]

This is absolutely my ex 100%, except he is male. He displayed all of these behaviours. He also presents very highly for traits of BPD, and NPD and at times ASPD. Is it possible to display all of the cluster B manifestations, or is there just huge overlap between them? This is absolutely 100% him though, every behaviour stated in this video is something I recognise in him.

[@DarrenFMagee]

There can be overlaps, and they can be co morbid.

[@zeddeka]

They're best thought of as a spectrum. If somebody has traits of one of the personality disorders, it's very common for them to have traits of others

[@lovesmrjarrett]

Wow, Katy. My story is resonating so much with yours right now!! I was watching this video and I paused it halfway through here and am looking through the comments like “can my ex have multiple traits” and I am realizing she shows behaviors that align with npd, bpd, aspd and abuses “medications” thank you for your comment 🙏🏼

[@cindylaskin6998]

@@lovesmrjarrett It’s sad to think that there are so many people who meet so many of the cluster B diagnoses, not just one. It’s a spotlight on the state of the world, I think. Like how many children right now are being abused, neglected, abandoned and/or traumatized and as a result, their personalities are being fragmented in an attempt to psychologically survive. These people are the fruit of generations of unhealed trauma. It’s so sad

[@zeddeka]

Under the DSM system, there was some talk of abolishing histrionic personality disorder as many people view it as simply a form of narcissistic personality disorder. The ICD system which is used in most countries outside America has gone a step further. It's abolished all the old personality disorders and replaced them with a dimensional, spectrum type model that records all the various personality disorder traits someone has and the severity of those traits. Much like you've said that it's possible to have different personality disorders, the ICD system now views all these things as potentially just different sides of the same coin - manifestations of the same underlying problems. Their view is that it's simplistic and reductive to put these things into separate personality disorders boxes like the DSM does. The ICD system reflects the type of thinking of people like the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg. He believed for example that Narcissistic personality disorder was simply a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying borderline personality type.

[@speciallion1135]

Thank you for your synopsis, I am adding this knowledge to my awareness. However, I have now given up on understanding others’ behaviours, I know enough psychology & had many lessons through my life, to concentrate on my own wisdom & discernment, so I can live in peace away from the guessing games, particularly, women. I was brought up with four sisters, whom had 25 years between them, so quite an age range & I observed their behaviour as a little boy & learnt lots about manipulation & they way they operate.

[@yamlwoz]

That's really sad to have endured all of that and had your feelings so thoroughly changed for life. I understand though. I was raised by a narcissist mother with a very influential narc cousin and I'm really cautious of women until I know them enough to trust them. Or run for the hills.

[@hissyfitz7890]

I too prefer to focus on my own personal growth. It is not OUR RESPONSIBILITY to ‘fix’ or endure the sting of these Cluster B Personalities. Men too are just as equally on the spectrum. Both my parents were; both sisters & both brothers are at varying degrees of being pathologically disordered. Logical discernment is my way of life & the intention to have peace in my remaining years is the objective. Best to you in meeting YOUR NEEDS! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[@Portia620]

Women and men are both just as messed up with the stuff

[@jooliagoolia9959]

As a grown daughter of a histrionic malignant narcissist it's all true. No contact for almost 30 years and never looked back. I've heard about her from others undesired and unsolicited that she's still the same. That's another trait, they are stuck in time.

[@PatrickKellyLoneCoder]

I was just watching this to keep current on my psych knowledge. You just described all of my exes to a tee. Oh my god.

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

As an empath introvert, I love messing with these creeps. Knowing they need constant attention and not letting them have it

[@annwethenorth]

Empath who loves to screw with people's emotions? You need therapy if you derived joy from inflicting pain.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Anyone who uses the word 'empath' to describe themselves is off my list.

[@shimonnay2487]

If you need attention 24/7 like a baby, then pay it. Do not abuse your partner or family members in name of seeking endless attention!

[@oraclepanda]

As an empath myself, also introverted (due to abuse), I derive zero pleasure from messing with other people. If you find you're with one of these people, serve yourself and leave. Doing it to pleasure yourself makes you an unaware narcissist. Fr. Dark empath indeed. Sociopaths can sense emotions, too.

[@Ancient_Pollyanna]

I have a sister who behaves in a crazy way, but I just call her nuts - histrionic sounds almost quaint.

[@hissyfitz7890]

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

[@KizetteandTotoro]

BTW, I've only come across your channel recently, I was wondering if you had already made a video on how to deal with the different stages of grief after you realise that everything was a lie and you have /still are part of a game. I am stuck on anger and it really unsettles me. I have avoided conflict all my life and it has always taken me a lot to lose my temper (and it is usually only in private if at all.) But I am constantly being provoked by an alcoholic evil man (he really is evil, he did unspeakable horrible things to his ex-wife and one of his daughters- the scapegoat) and I find myself tangled in ridiculous, heated arguments with this lunatic. I am in the process of trying to find a suitable therapist (I have asked for help) but I was wondering if you could make a video on how to handle a situation like this.

[@hissyfitz7890]

Wondering why you continue to remain entangled with this person? 🤷🏻‍♀️ That is YOUR choice. Totally understand the ire some people can elicit but OUR RESPONSE is OUR CHOICE. Getting ‘stuck’ in anger is usually an EGO PROBLEM; been there, done that. Good luck in figuring things out. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[@Portia620]

Gray rock is the best way to handle them and there’s a professor that is a narcissist that talks about it and goes over everything. They will destroy their own kids my ex would do that with my daughter I’m worried about her being really sick and he’s doesn’t care he’s more worried about his new girlfriend Mrs. Texas that he met while he was with his brother-in-law‘s younger sister who is living with him his new girlfriend feels weird being around the daughter so he says but you know they could be lying so I don’t tell my daughter anything because you don’t know they’re liars!!! The best thing to do is keep your mouth shut no matter what they tell you because they lie about everything and it’s only to pull you into their breath BS so Greyrock don’t talk to him tell him the facts and that’s it maybe put it in writing so you can have proof that stay the freak away from home

[@Portia620]

You need to get your anger out more in the situation and MoveOn and realize you have no reason mean anger for loss of time but in all reality these people are miserable you’re a winner dear!!!! They will destroy their children everything stay away from

[@DarrenFMagee]

Hi I have a playlist on recovery which I’ll be continuing to add to if you find something helpful there?

[@KizetteandTotoro]

@@hissyfitz7890 Getting stuck in anger is a sign of impotence. Pls don’t ever question why someome stuck in a situation is not getting out of it. There are many reasons why. There are a lot ways to react to abuse and that was mine.

[@onewomanandherdog5219]

My mother is histrionic with a bit of narcissism thrown in for good measure. She always has to be the centre of attention, in family-type restaurants she does this by commenting and 'talking' to people's babies and toddlers across the room until the parents notice her and she can start up a conversation, if nobody hears her the first time she'll repeat it until they do. She was competitive with me from puberty, even entering the same beauty competition as me and telling me she should have won instead of me but they felt sorry for me. She will do a little dance, 'accidentally' trip up entering a room or do something so all eyes look at her as she enters. I drove her to a memorial service for one of her friends, she stood in the doorway shouting 'who's *daughter of woman*' in a playful voice despite the fact it was deadly silent in there because someone was reading the eulogy. Any new acquaintance is her new best friend, her home is covered with pics of the kids of whoever is her newest friend while pics of myself and my son are consigned to the spare room. She tells me she must have S.E X. tattooed on her forehead because all the men are after her, she is 88. She hates her 'best' friend who she has known since they were kids and doesn't have a good thing to say about her but still stays in touch. She's nasty and aggressive when she talks to her (as she has been to me too.) She insists this friend doesn't visit her because she's jealous because she has a nicer home than her.

[@birdlover6842]

@onewomanandherdog5219 she has a different version than my mother who was diagnosed strong NPD and HPD traits. My mother hid in the shadows, cynical cold didn't like certain people, introverted. She was mean and nasty, a Christian narcissistic histrionic person who hated me with passion. It was because I was a little different being intellectually disabled and autistic social traits. She was angry and complained all the time. She was paranoid. She idolized my brother because he was obedient and a boy perhaps. My mother appeared to be a vulnerable narcissist without the overt display. She said she wished I was never born. The emotional damage I let her do to me gets worse each year and I am 70ish.

[@mammadijacopo3347]

Oh Dear. Good to hear she is 88.

[@kirschrot77]

My stepmother to a t, my father is too weak to stand up to her

[@JLD902]

Thanks for uploading this, I live with a female with BPD with schizophrenia and has strong histrionic disorder but not the hyperactive sexual parts, everything you said discribed her exactly, she also admitted to me during a road trip that she was taking her time/delaying getting proper therapy to see how long I will stick around and interact with her, anymore I just ignore her and let her find out hard way if does anything embarrassing, she now gets the attention she doesn’t want as she recently got arrested for abuse of 911 system. Love your videos, keep them coming,

[@marcyfox9508]

oh my word-now I understand so much about my mom-you just described her to a t.

[@renaeguess550]

Thank you! This is spot on with a friend of mine. Talk about a "crazy making" situation.

[@ryangrundy4290]

I’ve always wondered if they’re a type of narcissist. They seem to have a lack of empathy unlike the borderline. But they’re also a lot different than most narcissists.

[@zeddeka]

Histrionic Personality disorder is controversial with some people, who believe it's simply a different manifestation of Narcissistic personality disorder. There's some discussion about whether HPD will be rolled into NPD with the next DSM.

[@tasteadventures8401]

HPD is more like a desperation for love and attention by any means and is more treatable than NPD. Think Harley quinn vs Joker, both are horrible people doing horrible things but Harley is also extremely gullible and has more incentive to get better.

[@birdlover6842]

@@zeddeka I also read that it wasn't very bad and close to normal so they want to drop it. So many different options of pd's.

[@jeffwinters5362]

Could you please do another video on HPD an in depth one. Thanks for your video it’s very helpful.

[@olearyclyde]

My mother has Histrionic PD. She is always sick and very dramatic. Everything is about her. She is very competitive with me. She compliments me and then puts me down. For years I could not figure out what was wrong with her. How do you fix the problem? She lives right down the street from me.

[@sinoa1]

You move away😂😂

[@1LookingUp]

Drama Queen!

[@lacecurtainirish]

What causes someone to develop this personality disorder?

[@zeddeka]

The current view is that as with most personality disorders, it's a mixture of genetics and upbringing. "nature loads the gun but nurture pulls the trigger"

[@jedg4746]

HPD is the only PD which is caused by physical/emotional abuse/trauma outside of the family environment. It starts around early teens, around the same time as starting secondary school. It appears to be caused by bullying of vulnerable girls by other girls (mean girls). So, the vast majority of sufferers are women - it’s very much due to “girl style” bullying of other girls. In vulnerable boys, most of the sufferers are gay and the bullying appears to lead to the development of drama queen type gay behaviour with constant overt displays of homosexuality.

[@irisiris6717]

Thank you.

[@anxen]

I wish we could have actual person examples for these issues

[@staciehulm4595]

If you can find my comment in the list, I based everything I said on my experience with a real Histrionic.

[@charlesmorse386]

Check out the comment by Stacie Hulm and my reply for some examples. Unfortunately until you actually experience these behaviors it is hard to get a handle on many of them because the behavior(s) are deeply rooted in the disordered thought processes of the cluster B person. The target will often be gaslit and "buy into" the nonsense of the "drama queen/king". If you don't buy in to the narrative/behavior you will most likely experience cognitive dissonance or even trauma.

[@AnneLien1987]

I have HSP …

[@Sarit473]

HI, I HAVE HPD, AND I grown up wuth a NPD father with socipaths and borderline traits. any question just ask me

[@jg5930]

Cluster B…..run away! 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏃🏽‍♂️

[@hissyfitz7890]

AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

[@Nando_lifts2021]

Do they truly believe they are the victim?

[@helenatroy33]

I have a hisrtrionic sister. A total nutcase. Everyone can see it but her. Poor victim too after so many people she has hurt. Stay away.

[@jeffwinters5362]

Are there ANY books you can recommend that have a detailed look into Histrionic Personality Disorder.

[@DarrenFMagee]

There is "Hysterical personality style and the histrionic personality disorder" by MJ Hororwitz if you'd find that interesting?

[@mary-annebarnett654]

My mother to a tee. My sister loves being the chandelier in any given situation. I dislike being focused on.

[@Sarit473]

HI, I HAVE HPD mild synthomps, AND I grown up with a NPD father with sociopaths and borderline traits. any question just ask me

[@Thorazinedreams3]

I was wondering if I’d ever met anyone with HPD, but from reading the comments, I’m pretty sure I would know, and would be actively avoiding them lol good luck, y’all.

[@chompchomp7853]

What happens when they are caught lying? or if they are confronted with the truth? Do they deny everything?

[@ritikasingh9780]

By this vedieo I get to know that I am quite a historionic person who doesn't want to change

[@shimonnay2487]

How do go about with your relation and interaction with your family

[@iamnoone705]

Might have to let go of a friend of 20+ years. As she gets older and her drinking has become entrenched - she is getting more unbearable to be around.

[@bveracka]

Another thing about HPD women; they often reinvent themselves - taking drastic measures to change their appearance and/or social, political, etc. affiliations to attract attention. You've described two of my ex's to a T. 7:14 - they both did this _all the time_ and sometimes while blatantly looking at me for a reaction. Recent Personal Experience with a NPD Woman: One of my ex's with NPD came back to me. Her beauty is hard to resist, but I rejected her. She was _furious._ Immediately she began dating my friend. Then she began regularly posting lewd pics of herself to rub in my face - even tagging me in some. The two got engaged, but she left him a month before the wedding. All of this - including the details of what ended their engagement - was compulsively chronicled and paraded on social media. Now two years later, whenever I see her in passing (we live in a small town), she _always_ tries to reel me in with pity; saying things like, "I'm really struggling [with money] and no one will help." She even said, "My doctor says I might have cancer". Boy did I dodge a bullet!

[@blkfuturesucess89]

Wow thank you this is what. I was looking for great work

[@musicsnob4226]

They also seem to be very passive-aggressive

[@BlakeSakalMusic]

Thank you for this video. It’s a bullet point video that describes my ex fiance to a T. It destroyed our planned marriage and relationship. She now has nothing to do with me and has become almost sadistic towards me. She will be getting a copy of this video because you can’t fix a problem if you don’t realize it exist. In the meantime I will be praying for her because I truly loved this woman. Unfortunately I understand her better than she understands herself. Besides battling with this disorder she truly is a wonderful person and could really make someone in the future very happy as a partner if she would just grow and learn how to deal with this disorder in a healthier way… Any suggestions by chance?

[@Poppy-yx8js]

I don’t have this at all . Opposite of my personality. But I had friends that exhibited these traits along with narcissism and it’s awful!

[@Stephany922]

My Mom is this to a T. PLus she was an actress so boy oh boy getting in her spotlight you will feel her anger.

[@crankypantsmcduff]

IT broke my things, like my glasses which I'm lost without. I can't go out without earphones, IT broke them, hid my things then they'd reappear somewhere else or the first place I looked. Mimicked my disabilities and now IT seems to be quite well. It's sad people like this exist.

[@vampireslayer1989]

Darren, Could you contrast HPD and BPD? HPDs sound more vindictive and BPDs more passive aggressive. There are so many similarities.....

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you for your suggestion 👍

[@zeddeka]

There's a lot of overlap with a lot of the cluster B personality disorders. It's very common if a person has one of them, they have at least one of the others too.

[@zeddeka]

Under the DSM system, there was some talk of abolishing histrionic personality disorder as many people view it as simply a form of narcissistic personality disorder. The ICD system which is used in most countries outside America has gone a step further. It's abolished all the old personality disorders and replaced them with a dimensional, spectrum type model that records all the various personality disorder traits someone has and the severity of those traits. The ICD system now takes the view that the different personality disorder traits can simply be different sides of the same coin - manifestations of the same underlying problems. Their view is that it's simplistic and reductive to put these things into separate personality disorders boxes like the DSM does. The ICD system reflects the type of thinking of people like the famous psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg. He believed for example that Narcissistic personality disorder was simply a coping mechanism to deal with an underlying borderline personality type.

[@Johnjohn-gq3du]

Thank you for emphasizing ‘She’. I know moronic men, but histrionics are nearly always broads.

[@suzannemc3114]

I've been diagnosed with hpd and bpd it's very confusing after watching this is it likely I've both

[@hissyfitz7890]

Personally think DSM/ICD-10, etc. should drop all the differentiations & simply code things as Cluster B; there is so much cross contamination in these personality disorders it’s virtually impossible to narrow them down in one subgroup. For practitioners, I’d see a sliding scale, color coded visual with NPD on one end (it is definitely part of ALL Cluster B’s) & ASPD on the other end as being the most severe. Their “presentations” in the therapeutic setting can be just as erratic; being able to ‘mark’ these on a graph after each session would give an easier picture of the overall pathology.

[@unknown1993E]

I received an email from my HPD ex gf claiming that she misses my mind lol..

[@brianf9615]

Most histrionics are woman but what about histrionic men? I have an older brother who I believe is a histrionic and man he is hard to deal with. Would love some info on this.

[@DarrenFMagee]

I’ll be putting a video on that topic out soon

[@stefaniacalabrese2400]

​@@DarrenFMagee one about the hpd parent or stepparent would help lots, too! they're basically tornadoes.

[@frainer]

Not all Narcissistic people are Histrionic but all Histrionic people are Narcissistic.

[@Sarit473]

wrong.

[@shimonnay2487]

That's why a histrionic is more damaging to the people around him/her

[@SheyESO]

Its funny some of these tasks like ask for help at task she can do on her own also are flirting signs.

[@birdlover6842]

Do histrionics like to be picked on negatively for attention as opposed to not be noticed?

[@chamuuemura5314]

Good question. I don’t know but a former friend would spam out appeals for attention and then ignore all but the most positive responses, even using some of the negative responses as further appeal for attention from those who replied positively. I would say the only desire for negative attention would be the opportunity to get positive attention from others after that. Yet if left on a deserted island with another person may fabricate complaints to that person that seem hypocritical, but they would just be emotionally tone deaf attempts at a sympathetic response, not intentionally provocative attacks.

[@asalane20]

Could you outline the Histrionic male as a complement to this video?

[@DarrenFMagee]

I already have, it was uploaded on Monday. Hope you find it interesting

[@liammclaughlin2881]

They only care about themself. Can be as nasty as all get out to anyone and everyone. My ex got thrown out of 2 different Costco stores. She didn't even care about her own children.

[@erikaxchristine]

Ugh I have a “friend” like this. I don’t feed into the attention seeking sh*t she does and says. It’s always something!

[@denisedelgiudice3378]

So, then, how do men present with this disorder? Does an individual with this diagnosis always act it out in an antisocial way? Does this mean they are never telling the truth? We have to be careful not to charachterise a person's issues or to judge them unfairly.

[@zeddeka]

The best description I could find for how it can present in men is: "Males with HPD usually present with identity diffusion, disturbed relationships, and lack of impulse control. They have antisocial tendencies and are inclined to exploit physical symptoms. These men are emotionally immature, dramatic, and shallow. Both men and women with HPD engage in disinhibited behaviour." It seems to be one of those personality disorders where it's possibly over diagnosed in women and under diagnosed in men, just like antisocial personality disorder, but the other way around. It's worth saying though that some people believe that HPD is simply a form of NPD and should not be a separate classification. There's some talk of removing HPD from the next DSM.

[@hissyfitz7890]

@@zeddeka - TOTALLY AGREE! Just posted my feelings on the DIAGNOSTIC TOOLS.

[@safirijorgensen7842]

99% of modern Women on social media 🙄

[@cassiopeiathetortoise115]

Not sure if yours a serious comment, but if it is, this is my reply: If you had known a real HPD woman, especially in a setting where her HPD behaviors cause a problem for you too, you would not even think of making this generalization. Yes, many NPD women and men on social media, but HPD is more detectable in real life situations with other people. Can not really be so obvious while just showing of by herself, in a short video totally under her control.

[@safirijorgensen7842]

@@cassiopeiathetortoise115 i have. She took me for over 120k and absolutely destroyed my life and my heart. Grandiose Psychopathic Narcissist I will never be the same. Social media is a magnet for people not only with npd but for people who are highly Narcissist such as all the women desperate for attention and validation.

[@Underrated7777]

This is worse than narcissistic, I thought all this time she was a narcissist. She’s a histrionic, that’s the literal worst. With Empathy yet still craps on you? This is much worst than no empathy, at least that way you know that it’s consistent

[@shimonnay2487]

Yes I agree!! I personally think a histrionic causes more damage to the people around than a narcissist does, because the histrionic seeks attention 24/7 und puts everyone around especially family members in a cage all the time.

[@asharajbhar1176]

​@@shimonnay2487 yes histrionics are very dangerous..they seem sweet and innocent but extremely exausting and will drain all the life out .

[@julieroohi463]

They are emotional rollercoaster-vampires.

[@mrmegachonks3581]

The lack of emotional depth of the histrionic is concerning.

[@IngerWinkelmann]

I was a bit surprised to see this video. I know that histrionic personality disorder is an official diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, but recently some mental-health professionals say it's outdated, sexist, and stigmatizing. The critique points out that the diagnosis is rooted in sexism and can perpetuate stereotypes. About 2-3 % of the population is estimated to have histrionic personality disorder, but it's diagnosed 4x more often in women - likely to due the stigma against their so-called "seductive" behaviour. What do you think about this? Are you planning to do a video on the male version?

[@DarrenFMagee]

I am yes. It’ll be uploaded on Monday

[@killjoyredux8361]

Is this just you trying to legitimise the fact that women do this more often? Did you say the same type of thing about Narcissism and the disproportionate focus on men?

[@IngerWinkelmann]

Even if we ignore the fact that this is not just my opinion, but a critique made by many mental health professionals, diagnosis rates and actual occurrence rates are not the same thing. That's kind of my point.

[@shimonnay2487]

Remember the histrionic checks all boxes of a narcissist. A narcissist seeks attention too but the histrionic beats the narcissist by far here! And there are histrionic men too.

[@cassiopeiathetortoise115]

It is called seductive behavior because it IS seductive AND in a very inappropriate context. For example if my husband had shown her attention before but not today, she will find a way to come near us and touch my husband and talk to him seductively, in a manner which you would expect a woman to be towards only to her own husband. Except that she does it to MY husband ignoring the presence of her own husband and me.

[@zeddeka]

One of the major behaviours of histrionic males that isn't touched on here is the need to be the comedian all the time. Hypochondria too.

[@Maja-re4mq]

Great 👍😍🤩

[@susettesantiago5509]

I can understand narcissism when the man or woman are really beautiful aesthetically……….it’s difficult to contend with the amount of attention you get when you are attractive……….people fall over and fawn over people who are attractive………this creates a huge negative effect on the people around them because they are constantly triggered to feel inferior………..attractive people must be leery of envious people………but outside of these inferiority complexes……..the psychopathic narcissist will create negative narratives and false impressions……..using science and psychological triggers to try and bring out negative responses from the attractive person………smile my friends……..that’s all you can do……..short little smiles and an understanding heart………hell hath no fury like an inferiority complex……..😂

[@nervedown666]

My ex was a mix of Cluster B, very dangerous, they have a very wide gameplay and they find pleasure in others individuals issues, they try to control and manipulate every part of the narrative, also they are very sadistic and fake, plus they are always the victim, just run...

[@emilytaylor1001]

❤️

[@lukespector5550]

William Of Orange knew what he was doing all those years ago with "men" like this.........

[@reg7272]

Really interesting Darren.

[@nirvana328]

you need to change your KZbin channel name. I was looking for your name in my subscriptions and totally missed it. it should say something about psychology...like Darren Magee - Psychology or Dr Darren Magee

[@tracelee7332]

Men suffer from this too.

[@erik6789]

I'm DEFINITELY not at all, not one tiny bit reminded of a certain Presidential candidate. Nope. Not one tiny bit!

[@Lunaa_Lovegoood]

Man you described amber heard perfectly

[@ATINKERER]

Well, in the end Johnny Depp won, and that's what's important.

[@Onethingneeded]

Thats like.. just a basic Leo woman

[@Beela2020]

I dont know who I am 😂😂😅

[@RR-pn6kf]

Kim Kardashian, ALL her sisters, ALL female rappers & Celebrities!!!.🤮🤧

[@GerboaGuzentas]

I was going to like but then saw it had 666 upvotes so I can`t because how appropriate is that?

[@hakametal]

Sorry but this seems like just another flavour of narcissism. Everything described a narcissist can also do, particularly vulnerable ones.

[@cassiopeiathetortoise115]

I have known and lived with people with NPD, and since a female HPD often targets NPD males to receive attention and acts shockingly inappropriate towards them even when the man's girlfriend/wife is right next to him, I have known a couple of textbook HPD females. If you come across such a female,, keeping the traits in mind, you will easily detect and tell the variances between NPD and HPD.

[@jamesduke9809]

Meghan Markle

[@Paarthurnaxdova]

Sounds like 90% of all females today!

[@cassiopeiathetortoise115]

Wait until you get to know a textbook HPD woman. You might want to apologize for the 87-88 percent part of that.

[@symbolsandsystems]

This official labeling system is lame.

[@isabellareed1234]

Thank you