The HORRID Pain of Learned Helplessness

[@Kokola-qh9wp]

Learned helplessness is literally the doorway into suicidal feelings and I hate this feeling so much

[@SaifUlIslam-di5xv]

The causes of learned helplessness are, *in my opinion*, traumatic experiences, years of being stuck in a mentally unhealthy environment, being surrounded by people who do not value and/or use you, or situations continuing for really long periods of time that do not let you explore and grow mentally and more healthily. Basically, environments that do not let you explore what you are as a person. So when the time comes when you try to ask yourself to give more room to take risks, to grow, to keep going, to maintain more and more discipline, focus, and concentration, the answer to all this simply becomes to give up - it starts to seem like a crazy idea at first, and really stops you from learning anything else. This spills into other factors of life, and you just never learn to do anything else at all. It's mental conditioning and cognitive dissonance to some degree.

[@icsc87]

this is true. I am actually going thru it right now. I have more repressed anger than ever before and yet I cant seem to find a way to properly express as I feel that even if I do, situations that I cant control wont ever change. So I just sit and simmer thru the misery.

[@SaifUlIslam-di5xv]

@@icsc87 Time heals and circumstances change. Always remember that you are the one in power - the idea of giving it to others is a choice, not a reality. Find something to empower yourself with. Spend time with people doing the things you love, enjoy, and that help you grow even more. Over time, this feeling too will subside. I hope things improve for you. Best wishes!

[@SuperGreenPlants]

Usually the victims are called depressed implicating the problem is with the person and not the people around them. It is sad the one that need to be treated don't get it and the ones that need love don't get it.

[@Eric-tj3tg]

@@icsc87 I can, unfortunately relate. In "The West", there are, but a few acceptable outlets for frustration/anger/rage. There are videos using Bioenergetic exercises, somatic releasing, Trauma Release Exercises (TRE), etc. to move the energy. It's possible that you have been, as I was, inhibited from expressing these emotions, and there may be a resistance to expressing it at all, finding the emotion and feeling it, and letting it be without a voice from within (inner critic) which tells you that you shouldn't feel angry, or tries to suppress the feeling by thinking of any kind. Screaming out a car window to whomever it would be aimed, using mindful expression. It might feel fake or not real at the start. Just watched Jack Kornfield and Tim Ferris talking about this. The whole podcast is about healing, but I came across a clip, if you're interested. Google Tim Ferris, Jack Kornfield, and emotions or anger. Know this, you are not alone, as this is a commonly repressed emotion. Woody Allen said, "I don't get mad, I grow tumors." Funny, except that this is true. My former therapist said to express anger, with the only rules being: don't harm self or others, and don't damage property. Best.

[@antarakmit4114]

You're a star, Saif

[@radhwanedib8741]

trust me "helplessness" is way worse than what you described!

[@Artaxerxes.]

Dude calm the fuck down. We've all been there. You keep saying "Oh its so bad, Its much worse than this. Ohh i'm suffering". This complaining and bitching is what makes it worse. Find your interests and start working

[@Nsmnsd197]

@@Artaxerxes. love how ur telling a guy to calm down and than also cursing at him. How about talk to people who suffer with positivity and optimism yk what the psychologist in the video legit just explained to you. He wasn’t even complaining he was making the point that “helplessness” is a lot more than what was explained. Get over yourself bruh

[@Alexander-cd9zx]

He gave few examples so he can promote his course. Good ad lol xD

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

I think I’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with me. My whole depression centers around my strange belief that while I’m technically capable of doing what I want, that I just know I will unavoidably fail no matter what I do or try. Now I finally have a term for it.

[@pippirrupnowdead4319]

Trust me, you won't fail in every thing you try. Just find the best option. And, try, you may be surprised of what you can really do!

[@adamj2683]

It may help to work with a therapist who can give you cognitive-behavioral therapy worksheets to work through that cognitive distortions driving your learned helplessness. Cognitive distortions like all-or-nothing thinking can be involved, and they can be countered/eliminated with the right CBT approach.

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

@@adamj2683 I’m definitely an all or nothing/black and white thinker. As illogical as it sounds, I see grey as “corrupted” black or white.

[@syasyaishavingfun]

I hope you will be cured of black and white thinking, I'm also in the process of accepting more greys in my mind. Trying to adopt the normie attitude of 'just do it' however bad it is.

[@noneofyourbuizness]

You are more powerful than your thought . Thoughts are not real !! Give a petname to your negative self that whisper into your ears that your not good enough its easier to recognise when it comes

[@Joonasaurus1]

When you keep getting repeatedly kicked in the face it’s hard to get back up...😥

[@danielreardon6453]

Key word. "Hard"

[@lastprophet9904]

🤕🤕

[@Fraggr92]

But then if you flip it around, what's really the alternative? Just giving up and accepting that you're never going to be/have the things you want and that you're never going to be happy? Living the rest of your life in certain misery without any chance of improvement? If that's the life that you want then go ahead, but i don't want that.

[@experience5988]

and when there are more people to hamper than foster your dreams, it makes it even worse.

[@KevinDurette]

@@Fraggr92 Actually, yes. For a helpless person or animal, they don't want to trade one guaranteed pain for two guaranteed pains. The dog can either be in physical pain, or they can be in physical AND bear the emotional pain of failure. The "learned" part is the solidification of the idea that the pain is permanent. Have you ever wished you could fly, like as a child? If so, when was the last time you jumped as high as you could, just to make sure your ability to fly hasn't changed?

[@bilobatedrip8314]

Im 30 now and have been falling deeper and deeper into this for more than half of my life. Its routed to the point of not having motivation for the simplest of responsibilities. I pay rent and thats about it. For those in the same shoes, I want to get better and want to see you all get better. I wouldnt wish this on anybody, and I mean anybody. Its difficult to the point of wondering why im even here, but ive trained myself in smaller areas of cognitive control, so I know its possible. Love you all, good luck, and good livin!

[@Nsmnsd197]

I wish you the best my friend you got this

[@Svenshine]

Hey can you help me cognitive control? I would like to know as I’m struggling!

[@nancyayotte2297]

This is me too. Pay rent work a small job take care of my kids. Nothing more. I don't have anyone that loves me truly. Feel alone and abandoned by my family of origin. I need to grow up

[@dUBfROMwATERHOUSE]

@@nancyayotte2297 I think the most important thing is don’t be hard on yourself for this. I’ve had this problem since I was a teenager (43 now) and I’m now trying to undo the damage caused by my own negative talk. This isn’t your fault, I think it’s just something we have to accept.

[@nobleable4140]

Thanks, man. This simple commentary helps me. I'm 24 and i feel helpless sometime.

[@catherinebirch2399]

If you grow surrounded by people who put you down and tell you that your dreams are stupid and impossible to achieve, you learn to be helpless.

[@experience5988]

We don´t learn helplessness from nothing. It´s from life events that follow one another.

[@9000ck]

learned helplessness is usually a lot more serious and difficult to overcome than someone temporarily giving up singing because they didn't win a song contest and giving themselves a pep talk.

[@0ptimal]

Overdramatic reactions. It's like giving an example of a hand injury, and being upset because they used a hand that was slightly swollen, and didn't use a hand that has been seriously injured. The point was still made.

[@Anxious_deer.777]

@@0ptimal different injuries need different treatment. If you broke your arm you wouldn't put an ice on it and expect it to heal would you? The same way you wouldn't go to an emergency room with a bump.

[@Svenshine]

But who cares he still got the point so I can educate myself on this. I considered how abuse has made me have this problem personally, but took no offense he simplified it because I still learned it. Probably a good thing he did as some people don’t want to have flashback of the stuff that was done to them!

[@ems7623]

The example is similar to something seen on an undergraduate assignment after the first time they read about learned helplessness - and not a very good undergraduate There's also the very real problem that when it comes to singing, there really are countless people out there who have a very poor awareness of their actual ability, little grasp of how rare success in music careers can be and immature dreams of fame and wealth. There are even television shows that exploit this social reality, giving millions the chance to laugh at them while also perpetuating those immature dreams of fame. Most of those people aren't learning helplessness.

[@tigereyes5879]

In the second experiment, the dogs in the 3rd group were shown they could stop the shocks by moving to the other side of the room. Even after experimenters demonstrated this, the dogs continue to stay on the shock side, accepting their fate. Learned helplessness runs deep.

[@nicolehjelte4315]

The dogs who learned helplessness actually WERE helpless at one point. This video completely negates that important fact... Learned helplessness stems from trauma

[@TheWritingGirl]

stop trying to gaslight the narrative to what YOU want it to mean instead of what was actually said.

[@maepeterson7197]

NICOLE HJELTE right?!!

[@Jane-mb8jj]

TheWritingGirl nah, it’s not as simple as he is describing for people who struggle with trauma, abuse, and cPTSD. It’s not simple to break the cycle for us.

[@grungepants]

@@TheWritingGirl What are you talking about?This behavior is literally learned from being in a situation you can't control(Like being robbed at gunpoint or for the dogs shocked) and then developing an apathetic belief system based on the uncontrollable event.Look up the wiki page for learned helplessness if your confused.

[@noviting6976]

That's what I've thought all these time. The dogs WERE CONDITIONED to be feeling helpless. The experiment made them that way. So please be thoughtful when you want to tell someone "try to be more optimistic" or "be positive", it might give opposite result than you expect. Everyone went through unique and different experiences which contribute to their mindset.

[@richard1311]

Every time I am optimistic, I fail miserably. When I am pessimistic, I sometimes succeed. I am not exxagerating, every SINGLE TIME I try to have a poisitive attitude, I lose. And the range is all over the place, from physical activities, to mental ones. I have learned that attempting to feel good is what causes pain. SO I accept that I'm going to have pain no matter what I do. SO why make things harder on myself by being optimistic? It never works out when I try, so why try? Sick of this.

[@ems7623]

It might be a matter of having the wrong goals for yourself. Are your ambitions and goals really the same in your optimistic and pessimistic mind frames? I'm guessing they probably aren't.

[@kiraz7471]

Exactly. I can never concentrate when I'm happy, or live like I want when I'm sad. Not being able to get what you want only cause you can't control the fear of outcome is the worst feeling ever.

[@manaraldeeb4162]

Low expectations are always better because you tend to work harder and calculate all the possibilities and also expect the worse to happen so that will make u work more efficiently and be rational .

[@launderedcotton8070]

True BUT don't become the cranky person people avoid. First Do No Harm.

[@ShonaMcCarthy]

I had learned helplessness partially because my family were constantly telling me my ideas were impossible.

[@sadgoy.]

Well tell your family to fuck off and do you own thing. Or... Just do your own thing. Like, how many stories have we heard of successful people who everyone around thought their ideas sucked but then they became millionaires? I'm not saying you're gonna be successful. Maybe your idea does suck. But the only way you're gonna know for sure is to find out and stick to it. As aleister crowley has said "Every person is a star"(which in occultic terms really means that every person has an inherent specific will inside them whether discovered or not) Also "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" (which again, in occultic terms really means to fulfill your own will. To the point that it must be a law you must abide by. )

[@faramund9865]

That on top of feeling totally helpless in school, I wanted to escape it (like the shock) but there was just no way to do it. And I started learning to just be a worthless pile of shit and give up on life. I wanted to die so many nights laying in bed. I was really smart, talented and energetic as a kid. But school and my parents just completely destroyed my spirit. I’ve already accepted my death even though I want to live on. The helplessness is so ingrained now that I struggle endlessly to get anything done at all.

[@littleredhen8205]

I think family of origin is the key for a lot of people. Reparenting the inner child is vastly beneficial to healing those old psyche wounds.

[@Svenshine]

@@sadgoy. hey your buddy aleister there has stolen content: Matthew 17:20 ESV / 351 helpful votes He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” Mark 11:23-24 ESV / 291 helpful votes Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:23 ESV / 207 helpful votes Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Matthew 21:21 ESV / 120 helpful votes And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. Mark 9:23 ESV / 116 helpful votes And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Isaiah 40:4 ESV / 101 helpful votes Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. 1 John 5:14 ESV / 97 helpful votes And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. Matthew 7:7-8 ESV / 93 helpful votes “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Ephesians 2:8 ESV / 85 helpful votes For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV / 85 helpful votes Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Luke 17:6 ESV / 75 helpful votes And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. Zechariah 4:7 ESV / 70 helpful votes Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!’” Ephesians 3:20 ESV / 64 helpful votes Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, **but especially this it pertains to crowley:** 1 Corinthians 13:2 ESV / 146 helpful votes And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. NOTHING

[@sadgoy.]

@@Svenshine ok so as much as I like these quotes, they sound nothing like the star allegory so I don't understand your point here. Also, crowley as a kid STARTED OUT as someone in the Christian faith. His dad was a pastor. Things changed after he died tho. And yes of course he took from various religious sources and texts in order to explain and syncretize all the world religions. There are striking similarities between world religions. This isn't surprising. What is Christ but another re-telling of the dying and resurrected God? Same thing happened to Osiris and that tale was made at least 2,000-2,500 years before Christianity. People have been using and repackaging each other's ideas for millenia. Ecclesiastes 1 : 9 That which has been is that which will be, and that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.

[@edselgreaves6503]

Learned helplessness is the reason why I never get out of bed anymore and haven't left the house since 2017. I'm deeply broken inside and I just don't have the capacity to handle anymore defeat.

[@lynz]

you got this

[@jenniferpetrellicarslearni2265]

I read your reply and was wondering how you were doing? I'm sorry for how you have been feeling. I hope so much that things get better for you!

[@launderedcotton8070]

I agree it's safer at home and alone. Develop a hobby, start small.

[@TheLifeFormulaa]

Learned helplessness can be unlearned! Start by focusing on the things you can control first

[@lucyandecember2843]

what if theres nothing you can control?

[@Fraggr92]

@@lucyandecember2843 Are you tied down on a bed while strapped in a strait jacket? There's always something you can control. Find those things, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant they might be, and start there. Then move on to excerting control on gradually bigger things and start taking back your life.

[@lucyandecember2843]

@@Fraggr92 no there is not allways something you can control. Im doing relativly okay now but i've dealth with mental health issues like executive dysfunction and depression, i know what it feels like to have zero control over your life, i've had periods in which i was just laying around doing nothing for months, i wanted to, but my mental state was so bad it was genuinly inconceivable to do so, my brain couldn't conceptualize it. Saying theres allways something one has control over simply isn't true. Learned helplessness is a way more complicated issue than just "focus on what you have control over" because in many cases it originates from being/still being in situations in which you don't have control. Even when out of it, its extremly difficult to get acustomed to that new reality because for so long a reality where you were in control simply didn't exist. Im not saying its a bad method, just that the way it gets presented here downplays the seriousness of dealing with this. P.S: Pardon my english, it's not my native language, and im not the best with grammar in general lol

[@Anxious_deer.777]

@@lucyandecember2843 you're so right.

[@Bellasie1]

Well, what this video confirms to us is that the feeling of helplessness is consciously inflicted by outside forces, over which the helpless person had no control indeed, and therefore to say these individuals are able to control their "belief" is just adding insult to injury. The "belief" of having no control was a reality, and in my book if it is a negative belief following evil actions by others there's actually a word for it: TRAUMA. Enough of blaming victims!

[@MS-uu5ey]

So, do you want to continue being a victim? While we have no control over what shapes us as children, you continue to victimize yourself by not taking control of your own life. You can be "right" and wallow self-pity, or you can actually better your life.

[@gertfredrikson4584]

How can you now, that the people you say this to have not done everything in there power and just are fighting of toxic shame for their situation by calling out everything that proceeds the pain they are feeling.

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

This attitude sounds to me like it’s just the learned helplessness trying to justify remaining helpless.

[@shrimptyd8059]

@@aprilmurch1054 I’d suggest not to throw around the word “psychopath” so simply. Most of what ur referring to is a person with malignant narcissism not psychopathy.

[@tobiasdodd9521]

@@MS-uu5ey Learned helplessness often shows up in individuals who have CPTSD. Although those who have learned helplessness might have the chance to take control over their lives as they mature, many have coexisting mental illnesses such as depression, which makes trying to 'better their lives' send them into crisis. This is like telling someone with depression to just 'be more happy'. It's more complex than that, and these are victims that need professional help. You say, "you continue to victimize yourself" like that's not exactly what learned helplessness does to a person. Try to be more considerate.

[@52down]

It literally made me to completely waste my life and become a human trash

[@laylis12]

I feel the same :(

[@stinkyphantom7437]

Oh hey mom and her side of the family I guess you guys did teach me something after all... y’all showed me how to feel helpless 🤪

[@redwarrior2963]

Yea... :/

[@faramund9865]

Horrible parenting. There’s literally no point in telling your kid he can’t do anything. If you want your kid to fail just tell then they can’t do it over and over again.

[@raw_dah]

•́ ‿ ,•̀

[@picklep9812]

Usually our parents are responsible for this happening

[@sagegaming3195]

True

[@laylis12]

In my case , yes, my mum was

[@DesazMusicYt]

@@laylis12 same

[@musicandpoetry_8]

I hate to play the victim but honestly they do set the stage for this

[@VioletxUltra]

Thank you. I’ve been studying and trying to learn how to help my son. He is only six which is absolutely heartbreaking but I’m hoping that I can help him rewire his brain before it becomes even more so solidified.

[@AlexDiesTrying]

He's young enough to learn a lot of good things. He just needs success through his own efforts. You can sneak in a little help but he must perceive that his effort made the difference. Relevant training and relevant knowledge make all the difference.

[@BrainsApplied]

*In the end, you have to remember that when you fail, you have to learn your lesson and find another way.* Learned helplessness is a big thing that many in life encounter and never try to change...

[@Karlettastar]

"never try to change" is exactly the opposite of my mind and actions, yet here I am. Again.

[@edselgreaves6503]

Wrong. Actually the people who learn helplessness are the ones who spend all day looking at the problem from different angles trying to find multiple solutions and keep getting told that they can't pull it off. Eventually they give up because other people blocked their path to success.

[@Sketch1994]

Now imagine whay chronic pain feels like when you have drained youself trying to find a solution and a cure to your problem but all doctors say is they won't give you any opioids, that they don't have any other solutions or tips to help and that you should just hold on and be tough. You can't break this cycle. Everytime you try to do something you literally get shocked and there is no button and walking away doesn't stop it for days.

[@syasyaishavingfun]

I hope you get the relief you need? Do cannabis help?

[@catherinebirch2399]

I don't understand why doctors won't give opioids if it's alk that can stop pain. I always thought that doctors were meant to help prevent suffering.

[@alicia10387]

Gradual exposure therapy, that is the hope. Learned helplessness is from too many negative experiences and not enough positive ones. This isn’t reality though and it doesn’t have to be you just need more experiences. Don’t give up.

[@vitornb4197]

I feel happy, but helpless. It's just as I'm on the ocean, stopped trying to swim cause i cant get anywhere, but I feel relaxed as the waves carry me.

[@Brendan_Johnson]

Let me tell you about my life my mom mentally and emotionally abused me for like 25 years of my life. My Dad was in the Army and he was rare around because of the war. I was never allowed to get a job or learn how to drive. I had to take care of my Dad all by myself until his death. And now I face homelessness. So yes there are some people out there who have been so abused in life that what would be the point to get better when life has always been terrible. Also this is why so people commit suicide

[@Lygjugujkh9876]

I’m sorry you’re going through that

[@chelseascott5872]

How old are you now? I didn't get my driver's license until I was 16. In fact, I was nearly 30 before I started driving. It's never too late.

[@shatan120]

We have to address the elephant in the room that does not get the attention it deserves.........that life isnt fair. Some environments are simply not conductive to the fruits of perseverance. There are some battles that cannot be won. We have to address the systems of which we find ourselves living within in addition to teaching perseverance. While we cannot simply wait for life to become fair, afterall our clock will continue to tick, we have to accept that until we make progress in that regard, some will not get past the agony of Learned Helplessness.

[@moodsup1027]

So true, we gotta be careful with how we limit ourselves through doubting our full potential all because of preconceived excuses and blockages.

[@sadgoy.]

Aww man. I just gotta pay 20 bucks and the answers to my psychological ailment will finally be mine? Count me in!

[@talcharlotte8502]

I'm applying this to my self harm recovery :)

[@Eggyeggzalea]

@ɮօʊռċɛ օʄʄ probably neither, since they're both pretty hateful things to call someone

[@shrimptyd8059]

@ɮօʊռċɛ օʄʄ u got no place to judge if ur not even sure what ur talking about

[@LadySophistry]

This video leaves out some crucial information. What are beliefs? Beliefs are ideas about ourselves in the world that we hold as true. Beliefs are evidence based. We obtain beliefs by repeated interactions with a new environment that has the same outcome. The dogs in the 3rd group learn they have no control over receiving shocks because they really don't have any control. When placed in a new, similar environment, they don't attempt to escape the shocks because they have learned they have no control: Learned helplessness. The important information that the video leaves out is that there is a way for the dogs to unlearn this belief. If the experimenters physically pick up the dog and take it out of its cage where the shocks are being delivered, and put it outside where they're free of shocks, and the experimenters repeat this several times, the dogs experience a new reality and learn a new piece of information: There is a safe environment outside of the cage that has no shocks. From then on, the dogs will start to move away from the shocks. The take away messages: Learned helplessness is always the result of a situation where you learned you had no control because you actually had no control. For example, early childhood. At the time of learning, the belief corresponded to reality. Learned helplessness cannot be unlearned by yourself. You, like the dogs, need to be carried out of your cage, by other people. You need to experience the new reality for yourself, repeatedly, to form a new belief that corresponds to the new reality.

[@commbir5148]

>Beliefs are evidence based. That's a pretty demonstrably false bit of sand you're building your house on there.

[@user-hl1ct3yh1r]

Yup it took leaving home and living well and doing well or myself to realize I didn’t have to continue living like that

[@rogerdinhelm4671]

The problem is to understand where are you in this timeline. Because initially it wasn't belief - dogs were actually helpless, and no amount of pep talk of believing in yourself could stop the shock. So maybe you are still in that stage?

[@pixie89]

Lesson Learned: *Never Give Shocks to Dogs!*

[@waterkingdavid]

How extraordinary that the guy just casually mentions it as if nothing was wrong. I guess those men in white coats don't really believe that animals actually feel. Just give em a shock who cares! Human beings - what a weird bunch.

[@Astrothunder_]

David Watermeyer I can almost guarantee it wasn’t some crazy shock. Probably like a prick. Hell im sure they do the same shock levels for humans but compensate them with some kind of cash for participating.

[@ABirdOnTheMoon]

@@Astrothunder_ you can’t traumatize anything because you can. This is strongly illegal in Europe. Research is really strict here and regardless of purpose, we aren’t allowed to harm animals or cause them trauma to study them. I know the US have questionable methods but that’s a shameful choice of research

[@malcador]

There are also intrajects that take root and continue to hammer you daily. Telling you you can't. That you're ugly, stupid, unworthy, unskilled, pathetic, etc. This is a lifetime of conditioning that starts in childhood and is mirrored in adulthood with new bad experiences. The paradox is its difficulty in overcoming, which reinforces the problem. Its a vicious cycle that I dont know how to break.

[@kiraz7471]

This is the first time I've met people like me on KZbin. Thank you everyone in the comment section for not losing hope.

[@gdcurious]

I remember an elephant story. One baby elephant tied in rope and try over and over again to cut the rope but now the elephant grow fully adult now the elephant even try to break the rope. Elephant deeply believe can't break the rope.

[@apoorvadash7729]

I had an important exam last year which I failed. I have no other option than to pass this exam. This exam is the first step towards my dream future career. I want to clear the exam this year, however I just can't sit down to study. I try then lose motivation after 5 minutes. I know in my heart that I should be preparing right now however I just can't find the motivation to sit down on my desk. I am in a big dilemma cause I don't know if I'm procrastinating, lazy, feeling helpless, unmotivated, or if I just don't want to do it anymore. I wish someone could help.

[@deleriousdinosaur3205]

I catually didnt learn a single thing in this video. It has helped me 0%

[@masterpieces2218]

@Jhon Krasnovskiy well u right . Dont know why I would even comment that.

[@masterpieces2218]

@Jhon Krasnovskiy dont say that. I dont know what kind of a problem ur dealing with but I most surely know it's not worth dying for. Coz there is so much more to enjoy in life. Just live through the season mate. And I hope there is people that can help u realise that life isn't something to give up on.

[@masterpieces2218]

@Jhon Krasnovskiy well damnn. I'm glad u let life take it natural conclusion. U will get over whatever is fucking up ur day. Mind over matter. I bet u will find urself happy someday. Meanwhile Just enjoy the simple things in life

[@masterpieces2218]

@Jhon Krasnovskiy if u keep talking that way, then yeah, its unrealistic. Life is hard u just gotta love it. Keep calm n carry on

[@sadgoy.]

@Jhon Krasnovskiy dude i feel you on that shit. Accepting life sucks is kinda just one way to make it better. But hey man, I would suggesting softening the blow by doing things like lifting weight and taking up a hobby or doing some tai chi/kung fu. It won't ever fully take care of that shitty realization and awareness that life is this fucking putrid, monotonous, dragging your own two feet kind of experience. Buuut it may help to mask most of the pain. And the more you do it, the better you can cope with it and learn not to sweat the small stuff. It won't cure you of our psychological condition, but it sure as hell will make you feel better about it. Sure there'll be good days and bad days but that's ok. It's ok to be aware of how shitty life is. The concept I'm emphasizing is that by building your physical fortitude, you will develop mental fortitude to better resist the ailment we call the "human condition". Just try it for a month or 2, like 3 times a week. If you stick to it, you will eventually discover that the state of the body does greatly affect the state of the mind. In ways you'd never realize. Also, stop watching the news so much unless you want the mass media to keep hexing you with bad stuff. That helps a little bit too.

[@Gemtiger279]

Growth mindset. Practice equals improvement.

[@ekbharatvasi3514]

This is my favourite channel now on. Thanks for the video. It really help us because we ourselves are unable to see the flaws in our mindset which pull us back.

[@Magician12345]

for me its not just this but its also my insecurity in my emotions not being respected. its like i dont want to be optemistic because then that means my helplessness didnt matter. maybe i was just exadurating. maybe im just a drama queen being a burden to everyone around me since maybe i can potentially just shrug off helplessness so easy. my emotions are so integral to who i am, if they can be changed so easy then what is left?

[@dUBfROMwATERHOUSE]

I’ve struggled with this problem; I feel like I can’t even attempt to improve things because it would somehow not be honouring my problems, it would be minimising them.

[@LemonChieff]

Ever since I started actively trying to fail everything I tried I've succeeded every time. So, there. Now I'm a failure but I don't feel as bad about myself because fuck it, I tried. I don't think I'm not good enough. I’m just not bad enough at being shit.

[@gabieqc9744]

I have been in depression since 7 years. Your videos is one of the things that help me feel better. Love your videos Theodore 👌 Also your voice is cute and nice to listen to 💕

[@PracticalPsychologyTips]

I appreciate this so much :)

[@NenaLavonne]

Gabie Qc 🦋

[@ryanokken6682]

Have you ever think that you should make a podcast because I would watch it all the time

[@maepeterson7197]

This video explains why authoritarianism will never work. Not in government or in parenting.

[@Calpsotoma]

Abuse some dogs, note that they expect the abuse to continue, extrapolate that this is a fair comparison to humans, declare any desperate situation that a person feels they have no control over is their own fault for their beliefs. Trash.

[@ems7623]

Not quite what was said. The video is a little imperfect in its summary and the example he uses is trivial. But there's no blaming the victim in this concept.

[@KittySnicker]

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

[@vito2320]

Delussion

[@zeal514]

Its like society is pushing people to learn helplessness.

[@OO-bq1ff]

Who in the right state of mind give shocks to a dog!? Even to the ones with a chance of stopping the shocks...seriously!

[@anissiaart6167]

I feel like whenever I check videos on this channel, I see promotions of courses that you can buy for money, which start as videos that promise to touch an important topic and help with the solution. While sometimes there are some solutions and tips, in other times, like in this video, there isn't anything at all to help to solve the problem, which, I think, is unfair. You get attention from people who, I guess, are suffering from the problem, and you are only willing to help them if they pay you? Maybe you should at least warn people in the title of the video that it's not gonna give solutions. I respect people who actually care for their audience and really try to help them, like Kati Morton, for example. With your knowledge and ability to present information, you could do a lot of good, and you already do some, of course, but being more clear and fair and not using free content so much to promote paid courses would be great.

[@AirFlow12345]

I'd give you so many multiple likes for this comment if I could...

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Kati Morton is a really bad example! I recommend Dr. Grande or Patrick Teahan

[@shivakumarv7626]

Feeling helplessness can be overcome by introspecting our foundation and principles that we believed are true can also be improved.

[@arsh99119]

thearshblog.blogspot.com/2022/09/helplessness-know-truth.html

[@Diego-ys9tv]

Is no one talking about the way he introduced this course thing? Like "there's this terrible thing that can ruin your life forever, but hopefully you can change it. Wanna know how? Just give me $20 and I'll tell you" For real though, that's not ok

[@Stompii01x]

So that means, Learned Helplessness stems from lack of control!

[@jamespharris2494]

Why do u think they call it television PROGRAMMING?

[@andrewpagel9535]

this is based of a false notion that dogs have beliefs. or that group 3 dogs could change their situation (they could not) this is not an assumption but a fact. Human beliefs are a set of social and environmental learned circumstances.

[@Stierenkloot]

Lol you moron what the hell do you know about anything

[@waterkingdavid]

You are dead right. Whether this works or not has zilch to do with these men in white coats and their poor unfortunate victims (the dogs)

[@waterkingdavid]

@@Stierenkloot That's another human being you are throwing your unresolved garbage at. Work out your own shit before hurling it at others. Its really bad karma. Treat others well. You will be amazed how quickly your life becomes far better and more pleasant. Good luck.

[@isaacdonnan7316]

This isn't about beliefs at all. It's about how animals respond to environmental stimuli.

[@ravanarbabi140]

learned hopelessness is perhaps not about a fixed pattern of reaction but rather a situation assessment where the individual current situation has a lot to say.

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

This video way oversimplifies this content.

[@PracticalPsychologyTips]

I highly recommend anyone to read Learned Optimism, it was great! Have you created a video that explains it without simplification? I'd love to see it :)

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

I don’t have to make a video to have experienced it and have first hand experience. Furthermore I am very optimistic but that doesn’t mean that I should be gullible too.

[@StrengthScholar0]

@@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228 🙄

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

Jay Arre are you talking about you or me. I just survived 144 days suffering with congestive heart failure without giving up so are you sure you are not talking about giving into conformity?

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

Thanks for the thumbs up 👍 as I appreciate all constructive feedback.

[@yadiyyussof95]

Another word for 'helplessness' is 'depression'

[@johnmurray5052]

yes

[@christinaescajeda3470]

Yes 👍 “Yes I Can” 👍

[@NenaLavonne]

Christina Escajeda 🦋

[@illopedragoon]

jesus, they shocked dogs for this? cruel ass demons

[@anned372]

They’ve already done it humans

[@Unmaskingthem]

Say " I believe in me" and "I can do it" 100 times a day each on your commute to work

[@jeffinitely]

Crap, I work from home. What do I do?

[@Unmaskingthem]

@@jeffinitely well, you're screwed.

[@thrissurneocon9357]

Lol 😂

[@waterkingdavid]

Get one of those walking machines with an attached video that makes you think you're moving! Now work to walk!

[@taylorhumes7567]

The root is not a belief but in a concrete experience of being helpless in a situation sometimes for a prolonged period. The third group of dogs couldn't stop the shocks no matter what they believed. This is why I hate the positivity movement. People are told that their beliefs empower their experience, but it's rather your previous and past experiences affecting your present perception that dictates your life experiences going forward. Belief has little to do with anything.

[@Gemtiger279]

Growth versus fixed mindset.

[@AlyssaMcNeil]

This is stupid. All this implies that you have the power to change the things that let you down, but you have the belied that you actually don't have any(or nearly enough), power over it. Shocking revelation: sometimes, you DO really and ACTUALLY have no power(or almost none) over something that is letting you down, shocking I known, but this video won't help you at all if you're in that situation.

[@swindle5]

Obviously he isnt talking about those kinds of situations. And even so in those situations, just changing the way you think about it in a more positive light can change how much it affects you. You cant control the world but you can control your attitude and your level of determination to persevere.

[@masterpieces2218]

@@swindle5 well said.

[@ems7623]

Definitely me. I need to get past this problem.

[@HMALDANA]

Great explanation! Thanks for sharing!

[@yoursubconscious]

dogs and humans think much differently...

[@COVID--kf3tx]

I love how positive this comment section is. I can't find one negative comment

[@philliphsieh83]

What will a helpless person do? what if they panic?????

[@philliphsieh83]

everyone has to get moving. No one is left behind.

[@DominionMovementDotOrg]

this should be titled: the HORRID pain of dogs subjected to the evil that is vivisection

[@marythr2617]

Could the dog experiment be similar to why orphans eventually stop crying because nobody will come to soothe them? Am I understanding the concept correctly?

[@thatgirlmeshathelovingyour7502]

No one on this Earth will love you more than you love yourself. Be intentional.

[@UndeadAlv]

This guy speaks fast af and very clear which is very good but also I can’t get the experiment because everything is explained faster than I can understand lmao

[@brisingr4726]

Something that's important here is at the dogs in the 3rd section would be able to avoid the punishment by jumping over a wall but they had to jump

[@dylandevries8622]

Video Summary: Reality - Who cares? Lets just all think positive.

[@Chilupiano]

The elephant in the room is was this idiot you admire prosecuted for animal abuse?

[@barbaramullins4233]

What a calous presentation. You talk about animal torture as if you were telling someone where to get a good cup of coffee. Maybe if humans just stopped disregarding every other living thing on the planet, they would be alot happier themselves.

[@ems7623]

You're missing the point entirely. And those studies were done ages ago, before the animal welfare reforms. Feel free to travel back in time a few decades and register your complaints to them, however. I am sure they've been waiting just for you.

[@barbaramullins4233]

@@ems7623 oh, so it was ok that they were done ages ago before animal welfare reform? Hmm... I guess that makes slavery ok since it was done ages ago before its abolishment in the states? I'm not missing the point at all. Get off your cross and broaden that narrow space between your ears. Have a blessed day.

[@Wonderlvnd]

You forgot to mention the main neurotransmitter responsible for learned helplessness, serotonin.

[@davidmacholl3110]

This probably happens in the urban community. Dad and mom worked at the factory so I will also.

[@itmightbepossible8586]

Complex PTSD, or years-long trauma in children, causes brain damage. Physical brain damage. Rarely is it possible to change that merely with positive thinking, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, or true grit, or self-discipline, etc. Many people are what I think of as "push-push" people. They figure you can cure anything just by pushing harder. But they don't realize the reality of the brain damage, they don't know how deep the trauma programming runs. Mere positivity might work for some people who weren't severely traumatized, but it won't work for those who WERE severely traumatized. There is a limit to what willpower can overcome, particularly when it comes to trauma and the resultant brain damage. Better therapies are needed. Just what exactly I can't say. I have tried many things with limited success. It's an area where many professionals are blind, and many coaches/therapists/trainers are blind, it's easier just to say the victim isn't trying hard enough.

[@beasmarty]

No person who you look at and go "Aw shucks, wouldn't want to be in their situation! Why aren't they doing more? Why aren't they xyz? What's wrong with them?" Nobody wants to be there. Nobody wants to be that person. Obviously it's fucking humiliating hahaha. To those that judge those individuals as though it's a choice... if life had handed you what they were dealt, you'd be seemingly lost in time too. You don't get it.

[@ProdProddy]

Like we can flip a switch and turn of the conditioning from years and years😅 Things can sometimes take time to unlearn

[@0ptimal]

Many distorted views in these comments. An example is just that, an example. And this one, while not the most compelling given the options, was legitimate and explained the idea.

[@TrickWithAKnife]

These videos are great, but it would be worthwhile pausing a little between points to give viewers a chance to mentally process what has been said.

[@arsh99119]

thearshblog.blogspot.com/2022/09/helplessness-know-truth.html the great art to overcome Helplessness

[@gertfredrikson4584]

A feeling is not a belief. Evolutionary, feelings are upstream of beliefs. Balanced rational thinking is necessary but not always sufficient for change. If trauma is involved it can be like an event horizon around triggers and when you enter that zone your brainstate intsantly changes.

[@mikesmith6594]

Feel left out 😢like I don't belong also feel like damn if I do or damn if I don't. How do I stop feeling this way? Feel stuck in life!

[@coachbahman]

I just talked about this today... you guys are on point! This is so toxic.. the more you try to help them the more the resist..

[@masterpieces2218]

Okay, so why try helping if u gona be a dck calling them toxic

[@tomatoorphan6166]

I learned helplessness from highschool.

[@cameroncoates4863]

I don't mean to sound pessimistic but what if this feeling of helplessness has been happening in your home for the past 6 years and even after getting threatened with incites of violence and getting mocked and belittled on a regular basis, nothing gets done?

[@powerincarnate6783]

I like your attitude, unlike others just calling all this stupid, you seem to have doubts but still are open to the possibilites. People like you learn. So here the thing is, there is real helplessness and learned one. A person who is a prisoner for example, may be helpless, but even then, in some cases an opportunity arises, and some people take it, while others don't. The thing is to not let your spirit to be broken, to be able to see when is real and when you have a chance to act.

[@farajabdellatif9483]

Step 1: you need to figure out what you want which is sometimes the hardest thing to do...

[@GlitchedBlox]

Tomorrow school starts... There's nothing i can do.

[@KevinDurette]

Have you ever wished you could fly by flapping your arms, like when you were a child? If so, when was the last time you jumped as high as you could to make sure your ability to fly hadn't changed? Learned helplessness is an evolutionary advantage that we all have. It keeps us from wasting our time on hopeless pursuits so we can focus on the things we CAN change. Like any evolutionary trait, though, it just sometimes backfires.

[@jacekszkutnik6294]

but in modern reality there is nothing that can be changed

[@osse1n]

*You are the average of 5 people surrounding you.* Make sure that they are uplifting and not pondering to the narrative of victimhood, feeling helpless.

[@michaelransom5841]

OK.. this is stupid... the whole video makes belief sound like a choice.... not that you give it everything over and over and over just to be kicked in the teeth every time... Imagine the dogs would get a shock when they do nothing, but if they actually tried to do something they would get even bigger and worse shocks... where trying actively has always made things worse for themselves.. that memory of repeatedly making things worse is what creates the belief, especially if nothing seems any different. remember the old saying "the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". It's one thing to walk away from a singing competition because of self doubt, it's another to be ridiculed by the judges and crowd. The memory of the behaviour of the crowd and judges and the pain that caused is the evidence that creates belief. It's the fear of having to endure that kind of pain again. In light of that experience it would be irrational to try again. simply giving yourself a pep talk is very unlikely to give you any real reason to believe things will be different if you try again. There has to be a reason for you to believe things might actually turn out different this time. If the negative consequences have been few, then maybe you can use a pep talk by telling yourself it's statistics, and maybe your beliefs about statistics are enough to compel you to believe you have a shot the second time around, but if things are just as bad the second time around, those same beliefs in statistics now become part of the evidence to compel you to believe that you can't succeed....beliefs are compulsions, not choices. Remember, even when it comes to the dogs. trying to stop the shocks and failing is more traumatic than just receiving the shocks. So if the dog has no reason to think it can change the situation, then from it's perspective, it will only fail again if it tries to do anything just making things worse than they already are, so why take that chance. it's no different for us...

[@laptitefleurverte3344]

Thank you

[@thebxchange]

How were they taught they could walk across the room? Anyway, it's called conditioning. Spawned by money.

[@Anynghasao]

There’s no way what’s happened has happened and will happen again

[@yearzeroism]

Learned helplessness is not hard proven psychology - it was a brief experiment carried out on animals a generation ago, and animals don't choose to believe in things. Pessimism isn't about helplessness and fatalism either. But internet gonna internet, y'know.

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

That doesn't make any sense.

[@yearzeroism]

@@MargaritaMagdalena The video explains helplessness makes choices invisible and impossible. But at the same time, that it can be overcome by choice. And that helplessness is something we withdraw into to feel better. But the title is "horrid pain". Basically it's a silly video and waste of time like most internet BS

[@antonestrada8878]

I don't think you quite understand. It is more than a belief. It's having evidence to support your belief. Your optimistic worldview seems to coincide with a belief that we have free will and free choice, but the more we advance in our understandings of science, the less free choice there is to be found. Who has more evidence? The "optimist", who believes it's a matter of choice? Or the one who believes there is much less free choice, if any at all? You give an example of a singer who decided not to sing. Try examples of people locked into slavery, people who have diseases that cannot be cured and that they will slowly die to, people who were born with problems, whether genetic or inherited from traumatic upbringings. Those are not decisions. And while the belief that "it's possible" can help motivate us to try, many MANY fail. A man with Cancer attempted to run across Canada. He died before he finished. Not everyone's dreams come true.

[@powerincarnate6783]

No, it's you who doesn't understand. This video is about learned helplessness, not real one, the guy you mentioned at last had the second. Just like you and me, nobody escapes death. So in a way we are all helpless against Destiny or whatever you may call it. Hell, a lot of guys with cancer or such live longer than many who are healthy. The guy you mentioned didn't have such learned helplessness, he was dying but he decided to run, and he did. This is not about gettong results this is about not letting an illusion to control your life.

[@DQ_Senpai]

Last time I was this early I had self confidence

[@Nsmnsd197]

I love how this whole video wraps up to his paid segment smh