The Hunger | ContraPoints

"I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land." -Psalm 143:6
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Check out my other videos:
Envy: • Envy | ContraPoints
J.K. Rowling: • J.K. Rowling | ContraP...
Voting: • Voting | ContraPoints
Justice (Part 1): • Justice | ContraPoints
Cringe: • Cringe | ContraPoints
Shame: • Shame | ContraPoints
Canceling: • Canceling | ContraPoints
Opulence: • Opulence | ContraPoints
Men: • Men | ContraPoints
Transtrenders: • "Transtrenders" | Cont...
Beauty: • Beauty | ContraPoints
Gender Critical: • Gender Critical | Cont...
The Darkness: • The Darkness | ContraP...

[@ContraPoints]

casual reminder that there’s a hunger in your soul no pleasure of the flesh can satisfy

[@Egolesss]

Wyd

[@rayoray1904]

Omg

[@ADudOverTheFence1]

Notice me mommy

[@lilhotbanana]

SO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK!!! 🥺🥰❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[@katiec2758]

I can try

[@dradenlol8667]

The pattern of the conservative lady being given the most time to talk and yet talks the most about being silenced is brilliant.

[@Praisethesunson]

Am I bEiNg CaNcElLeD?!!? -Conservatives

[@yarn7130]

Also the background swelling of music only for the conservative, appropriate to reflect a particular emotional response.. this video is a fucking masterpiece 🙌🏻🙌🏻 Edit: I just remembered that helicopter movie shoot P45 did after getting Covid, with the same orchestral music.. absolute madness.

[@ashleyjohansson230]

Its funny when they claim they are being canceled or censored but they always cry about removing things "woke" from media.

[@stealthis]

@@Praisethesunson 2 seconds later: I'M GETTING CANCELLED! THEY'RE GANGING UP ON ME!

[@atomnous]

Here is the pattern - the left silence themselves, the right keeps talking, then the left demands that the right also silence themselves, the right talks about being silenced, the left silence themselves again, then the right says something that offends again

[@matthewvp8507]

I don’t agree with Jackie politically, however getting drunk in the corner and making unhelpful comments is a mood and something I fully identify with

[@dragonicmonkey7]

I do agree with Jackie politically, since we're sharing

[@mothmaiden]

Jackie is a delight. She would be insufferable in real life, but she is just over the top enough in her aesthetics to balance being a "dumb-dumb", as a charming satire. 🥰

[@OdinSonne]

100% and doubly so as a male.

[@rainbomg]

I def agree with Jackie’s hair and makeup, nails, wardrobe, and constant snacking tho

[@cockycookie1]

Wine parent's sibling

[@teodorlolovski9603]

I just love that the statue from "Shame" is covered and placed behind the Christian lady. Highlighting her repressed feelings. Just the little things Natalie does.

[@brntmoondoll4jaw]

her attention to detail is unmatched

[@катија]

This is my MCU

[@euansmith3699]

@@brntmoondoll4jaw The ink stained fingers are a beautiful, creepy touch, too.

[@Kaloapoele]

It's thinly veiled.

[@austinluther5825]

I saw that, too! So good.

[@fierytopaz]

Is there a better summation of how people dismiss the struggles of addicts than "all I have to do is give up the one thing that makes my life feel worth living"? Perfection

[@jbaker1009]

As someone who was heavily dependent on a variety of illegally obtained prescription drugs from March 2022 to March of this year, boy is this true. I've not touched any of these drugs since this March, and can't shake the feeling that people will assume, and have assumed, that this is because of some sort of mythical 'willpower' I've magically developed, as opposed to simply being lucky enough that I have now been put on the right meds, and given the right therapist, so that I'm no longer getting an average of 2 hours' sleep per week (whenever I wasn't on drugs) and spending every waking moment so tormented by recurring anxious and depressive thoughts and constant traumatic flashbacks that I was lowkey wanting to unalive myself. Not using those drugs is just fundamentally easier now that my life actually feels worth living without them. If my life were still as it were until I was hospitalised earlier this year with panic attacks, drug withdrawal and severe sleep deprivation, which triggered the intervention and securing of support I'd desperately needed for years, I could easily still be on those drugs to this day, as anything was better than my life felt while sober. I haven't become a 'better person', as people lucky enough not to struggle with addiction of that sort of trauma often seem to pontificate; I was just fucking fortunate to get out of it, and it's just sad that too many other people weren't afforded these chances and couldn't get out. Sorry for the rant.

[@PunkExMachina]

Jackie runs the BEST podcast. she’s bringing TRUTH to the masses. anyone denying this is part of the cancel culture sexual anarchists. let THAT sink in.

[@renataaristimuno5269]

I'll drink to that and FREEDOM

[@feistygheisty]

I can't BELIEVE Spotify made Jackie pull episodes where she said the n word. She was JOKING. People just can't take jokes anymore smgdmfh

[@StargazerSkyscraper]

I did and now it's washing all my dishes without my consent, please send help. ; - ;

[@Queer_Nerd_For_Human_Justice]

The poor sink has been waiting at the door for hours, can someone PLEASE let it in???

[@chaocolide]

​@@StargazerSkyscraper THIS IS A GOLDEN PUN.

[@lewnatic]

"I will stay right here, and I will remind you every minute for hundreds of consecutive minutes, that your pain is optional." Nothing has ever so perfectly summarized my experience of addiction. Utterly love your writing.

[@StonerBaer]

Fuck, this describes the deepest, darkest part of my Alcoholism. It has been the cheapest thing to help make my anxious, undiagnosed AuDHD ass feel normal until I got my meds. Now I drink because it's still something I love, despite how therapy helps along with my medication.

[@elegitopia6124]

I know she's only comic relief, but Jackie as a character is so fascinating. Her childish view of freedom that somehow coexist with her desire for a political strongman to take control, her deep incuriosity and lack of stakes and values coupled with neurotic fear of anything foreign. So compelling. She may be very satirized and comical (and inspired by real life figures 😉), but mannn I would pay to witness a deep dive to Jackie's "hunger" the way this video is for Justine!

[@stephanieeller2283]

Huh. Interesting thought. I think her positions are all shallow - she’s not actually attached to any of them and none of them have any real foundation. She can’t deep dive into them because she’s just parroting someone else’s ideas. But clearly she has a hunger, even if it is totally unacknowledged. What might it be? That WOULD be interesting. It would also be a little sad to lose an entertainingly two-dimensional character. 😜 Like Jackie’s ideas, I prefer her to stay unexamined!

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@jeffersonclippership2588]

I mean, she's literally just averageamerican.jpeg. There's a reason she was literally in the center between letting people who aren't white, christian conservatives exist in peace and full blown theocracy.

[@rayflyers]

She's a parody of Dave Rubin. His shtick is exactly that nonsense.

[@zenairzulu1378]

Yes, I agree also Jackie is hotter...is that wrong???? I think that's wrong??? but Jackie is hotter tho. Seriously tho belive if you will just be kind tho. Also viod would go great in coffee hot not iced cold coffee tastes like sad.

[@mattmcwilson1971]

It struck me immediately that "Lucy"'s rhetoric was eerily similar to Virginia's. A sort of incessant preying on a sense of lack, insisting that you are not whole and can only be made so through what they're peddling. Both in an elaborate and sinister bid to claim your soul for their own gratification.

[@elfodelputoinfierno]

And Justine is, theoretically, a centrist. Conservative when compared to, say, Tabby, but still more liberal than Tiffany and WAY more than Virginia. There's... Layers to that. Serious LAYERS. The "all goes, whatever feels good. Choose not to be sad" of Mother Void vs Dad's™ obsession with "following rules", always doing as He says - very Dionysic and Apollin contrast. But completely warped. They're both fucked, like a broken mirror, cutting everyone around them while reflecting bits of one another. Justine says Virginia is imoderate with her passions-but she herself is imoderate. Imoderate her misery. It's literally what Hype and Void mean. One is euphoria, the other is emptiness. It's gorging yourself until you feel sick against slowly emaciating, filling with nothing. .... The more I think about the text and the symbols the deeper it gets. Fucking hell- Natalie is a mad genius

[@witchy-trials]

THIS!!

[@NeilSonOfNorbert]

Virginia switched her addiction to Christ.

[@hikarey7173]

would love to like this comment but ur sitting pretty at 666 likes, so ill settle for commenting that i agree and didnt even realize that part!

[@lizabryan1336]

This comment 🥺

[@KwizzyDaAwesome]

Jackie only visibly reacting to "gained weight" among all of the other sins -- perfect

[@TatoDobbien]

Siii

[@atkcsc]

Even though this video is about drugs on one level, I feel on a deeper level, it is about loneliness. Justine and Virginia are both alone, even if Justine admits the important truths about herself while V denies them at this point in her life. So it turns out, drugs and this all-encompassing type of belief serve the same purpose for them: to escape the reality they know but can't accept... and it is not their identities that make it unbearable. It's the heartbreak and the loneliness.

[@janeygo4252]

“You just know that what you’re saying is indefensible, so you defend your ‘right’ to say it” - that is a beautifully concise take down of the whole nonsense. I will use that!

[@somebody31415]

Great job as always!

[@FizzyLilyPad]

I love how the only one of Virginia's confessions that makes Jackie gasp is gaining weight lmao

[@linguineimpasta]

Same I giggled hard

[@lil_weasel219]

thats the joke yes hah

[@kayloiio]

The only one my mom would audibly gasp at 😂

[@yatsumura7]

I like the fact that Justine isn’t trying to respond with the language Virginia uses because it will inevitably enable the Christian dialectic. Justine is trying to look beyond what is presented to her - the superficially enlightened woman. She sees Virginia for what she is in fact - a person addicted to being commanded

[@wompwomp9946]

oof

[@fangznclawz]

True that: "In all of the essentials of life we are alone, and you cannot avoid being your own jailer by making yourself someone else's prisoner." Elie Wiesel [Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor]

[@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447]

more like addicted to substances and sex and therefore she feels like she needs an authority to stop her from doing that

[@kalejuice5701]

I don't see it so much as a literal addiction to authority so much as a paradigm through which someone perseveres to counteract their literal addictions. But an interesting observation.

[@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447]

​@@kalejuice5701 my thoughts exactly

[@ashwinvenkat1072]

Im turning 30 in a few hours. The last few years have been dark. You have been one of the people who helped me get my life back. Thank you Natalie. Watching a contrapoints video is a great birthday present. Stay healthy and happy.

[@hopelessly.lavenderly]

happy birthday! a lot of people find happiness in their 30s, 40s, or later. whatever youre going through now is neither a waste nor hopeless. one day you'll thank yourself for holding on even during your darkest times :)

[@johntravis4394]

Happy Birthday! 😊❤🎂

[@paulalixlix]

Happy birthday from Brazil!

[@tulatrippin]

Happy birthday!

[@rsync9490]

Happy 3 decades on this wretched planet. Long live ashwin.

[@ludoviajante]

Having content of this level accessible for free (well, theoretically free) to people all over the world is mind blowing. Your channel is an oasis and an inspiration for me in Brazil. Thanks!

[@LadyAtoli]

It's sad that we don't have more voices like this in this world.

[@pollytix7271]

@@LadyAtoli More communists who advocate for vice and overturning western traditions because they lack the composure to abide by norms? Not really. We saw what that led to at CHOP/CHAZ, Weimar and later during historical communist rule I appreciate the entertainment value and the attempt to bring up different perspectives even if it's done through strawman arguments, but most people don't resonate with Contra's conclusions or politics.

[@LadyAtoli]

@@pollytix7271 This argument is funny because your examples include anarchist movements of people trying to pull away from a system while being under attack. You also fail to acknowledge that socialist policies exist in almost all developed "western" countries at this point. What do you think Social Security is? Public education? Taking care and providing the needs of people to be successful is how you create a healthy society. Also somehow you imply capitalism is working and devoid of problems. Things aren't so great in the great occupation of the USA either. Human misery is at a peak. We have mass shootings weekly. Sucides are on the rise. And we have one of the most toxic cultures in the world. Countries that have blended socialist policies into their societies are way less violent, way less discontent, and typically way more educated.

[@gabbasgabbas7728]

meu criador de conteudo favorito no canal da minha outra criadora de conteudo favorita

[@barefootandindependent]

you seriously just called her subject material "content" no

[@angelinanicholaou2914]

No matter how long we have to wait for the sequel, it will be worth it. I hope you're doing ok and know that you are loved by this community.

[@kyrialeyson]

Hear hear 😃

[@renegademannequin3808]

She’s making videos about once a year nowadays. Who knows what she’s doing in her life at the moment.

[@darkartsninja]

Amen to that lol! I find that the KZbinrs who post the least ofter post the most enjoyable videos. They are like little treasures that brighten my day

[@jnielson1121]

@@darkartsninja any word on how things are for Natalie/ whether we may see part 2 soon?

[@michimatsch5862]

Considering she just released another video I am unsure there will be a part 2.

[@doom_delrey9736]

I really like how Luci describes Void in the same way that Virginia describes God’s love. Also how Luci becomes Mommy once she gives the first dose, as God becomes the Father. You have to submit to it to get away from yourself.

[@dyoopiter]

whoaaa holy shit, i didnt notice these parallels. thank you for pointing these out!!

[@darkartsninja]

Damn, I completely missed this! i will def be rewatching this video again to pick up on this

[@DrakenWolfwood]

Holy shit excellent read! I was wondering why she had Luci explicitly ask Justine to refer to her as mommy. Who knew religion and drug addiction could make such amazing parallels

[@csrjjsmp]

I am so curious why the people who didn't see the parallels thought these two segments were part of the same video.

[@Luchoedge]

@@csrjjsmp IDK, i just didn't try to interpret it right away, and just see where it was going then kinda forgot. But now that it was pointed out it's so obvious!

[@squishycow6992]

This depiction of opiate addiction is so spot on its almost difficult to watch. Everything from that initial conversation with satan that got her hooked to the “Five drops to take the edge off” to it becoming the only thing that makes life feel worth living. You went above and beyond Natalie and I hope you understand that this episode has made so many people feel seen in that addiction is as much a product of the world around us as it is the drug itself, especially within the queer community. You got me crying towards the end there. Excellent work as always.

[@michaelharris679]

I had an opiate prescription for 5-6 days after a medical procedure when I was much younger and I was ready to have someone tie me to a mast to prevent me from getting more. It sounds melodramatic to frame a short term prescription in those terms, but I'm sure it would have killed me if I'd had access to more.

[@michaelharris679]

The depiction of minority stress is also top tier.

[@singularity___]

I am unable to think of a better depiction of addiction. It was painfully accurate. I feel like this is one of those videos that I'll remember for a very, very long time.

[@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive]

yea...it was really well done.

[@dextrodemon]

"almost" difficult to watch, it is very difficult to watch lol

[@emcrandal9208]

As a young trans person your videos and a lot of the dog whistles used in this video are something I live with everyday and it's so helpful to hear you discuss it and remind me i am not insane for fighting transphobia

[@SoftSemtex]

not for that, hon. and if you are, i'm proud to be insane, too.

[@craigstephenson7676]

@@LiminalDoll I might be wrong but I’m pretty sure you misinterpreted that comment.

[@SoftSemtex]

@@LiminalDoll lets all throw tomates together^^

[@CuZtuga]

@@LiminalDoll They should be eating those tomatoes, my dude, shit's delicious

[@stupidass69420]

Same omg!

[@BlueMorningStar]

29:07 - What I really love about this bit where Justine pretends to be an interlocutor in a Socratic dialogue is that she's roasting BOTH Virginia and Plato. Plato as a follower of Socrates believed like his teacher that true enlightenment and philosophical progress comes from dialogue and hence why he structured all his work as conversations between Socrates and various randos from around Athens. You notice in the early dialogues that they were actual conversations, and Socrates' interlocutors would actually push back against him, raise their own points, and make their own arguments. More and more in Plato's later work, however, you notice he really just wants everyone to shut up and listen to Socrates (i.e., Plato's) ideas. However, Plato could never quite make himself get rid of the dialogue format altogether, so by the time you get to, like, The Republic, you'll have the "dialogue" consist in Socrates preaching for a page or two, and then you'll get a quick line thrown in by some stooge saying "Yes, it must be" or something before Socrates continues rambling. Justine using those responses cast such classicist shade against Virginia. Virginia said she wanted to try to reach Justine through reasoned dialogue, but she obviously, like the late Plato, just wanted to preach.

[@capucnechaussonpassion14]

So interesting, thank you for that

[@andr0oo820]

The danger is that once you begin studying philosophy, you end up being a really good sophist.

[@jamesmire]

For me, Virginia’s attempt at a Socratic refutation only increases my appreciation for Plato. Reading the early and middle dialogues, and even many of the late ones, you can notice that Plato arranges the steps of Socrates’ arguments carefully so that, typically, the interlocutor agrees to several key points before Socrates introduces a twist that ties everything together into a counterintuitive conclusion. He doesn’t do this to trick the interlocutor underhandedly, but because, if it’s too obvious where the argument is headed, the interlocutor will try to sabotage it. But Virginia’s attempt is ham-fisted and obvious. She tries to score a refutation in only three questions, and had she brushed up on her apologetics beforehand, she might have tried to build her case on shared premises between herself and Justine. These are things that Plato clearly appreciates and incorporates. Hence he is the OG.

[@ebetg4191]

@@andr0oo820 facts

[@terryjones573]

@@jamesmire “The interlocutor” still being Socrates. Saying he gets his interlocutor to agree doesn’t really mean much when it’s still coming out of his own mind. Of course he can’t come up with an objection. If he could then he probably wouldn’t hold the belief.

[@12inter88]

All jokes aside (I commented “yes mommy”), being a queer teacher in the Deep South, I resonate a lot with this. Especially that I teach my seniors Sappho as part of my ancient lit unit, I’ve had a few parents call me groomer because small town america and evangelism decided that’s what teachers are now. Your videos have always added a sense of belonging to me, and your old videos even made me decide to choose to work instead of pursuing a PhD. Thank you for all you do ❤️

[@stoleneyez]

Oooo you should also teach Thoreau. He’s wrote about abolitionism and John Brown. I think they would largely benefit :)

[@12inter88]

@@stoleneyez I teach Thoreau and Baldwin to my 11th graders :)

[@himesilva]

I fear you are the last beacon of intelligence for the American people

[@himesilva]

@exe lmao which country? Estonia?

[@vogelvogeltje]

@@himesilva Estonia is Eastern Europe?

[@jacobbass6437]

18:20 Playing Scheherazade when she says "God has healed the feminine in me" was a nice touch as it calls upon how Scheherazade told hundreds of stories in an attempt to preserve her life in a similar way to how Virginia tells herself all these stories to maintain her worldview (which for her, is her life).

[@karaiyamoon237]

I screamed!!!!!!! and applauded

[@kevinlechuga_]

Damn. I wish I was a little bit more cultured to fully get things like that. Thanks for sharing.

[@caramim95]

For me it was a nod to her other video, Shame, still ironic since there she talked about how she didn't want to be gay

[@jacobbass6437]

@@kevinlechuga_ No problem, I’m a music student studying performance and so it’s just background knowledge for my career. Just make sure not to romanticize those who know about classical music or classical music in general, it makes them no more cultured than those who know about pop music :) There is a cultural bias in the west to uphold a bunch of German white dudes as “the greats” and there is a push to deconstruct that narrative in music education.

[@karaiyamoon237]

@@kevinlechuga_ don't sweat it. I only really learned about Rimsky-Korsakov when COVID started. I'm just a 39 year old black queer jock but was interested in classical piano because I'm going to purchase my first piano this summer because I'm to old play basketball with the straight bros and I wanted to play some anime songs I like. I don't know shit about fuck bb. 💕 I've just started to dig into a lot of different musical arts now that I have the income and time to do so.

[@brunotheiss1]

Ok but can we talk about Natalie’s beautiful piano playing? As a newly minted ~doctor in piano performance~, I am in absolute awe. Obviously, everything else in the video was outstanding and meaningful and gave me a new understanding of life, but the piano playing is really not to be overlooked!

[@prairierailproductions6737]

Congrats on a Piano Doctorate from an Aspiring Tuba Major

[@Brandon-xr2nx]

Virginia is so well-acted I actually became frustrated listening to her and had to remind myself it was a character.

[@lolly9804]

Yeah, but there are so many real life Virginia's in the world.....

[@nessthing]

this is literally 80% of people’s Twitter beef with contra probably really actually; a character who somewhat looks like her in a dialectic says something people don’t like and people just assume contra feels that way

[@icemachine79]

I kind of like the sound of "aimless fornication" as long as it's consensual.

[@sussyamongus6754]

Contrapoints should change her name to mommypoints

[@misterblueskyyy]

Like. I grew up listening to her. I know her.

[@ChronoSoul]

Once again, Contrapoints triumphs in empathy. She makes me feel like my deep-seated existential feelings and anxieties are understood in a way no other creator does. And that she can speak an entire charismatic speech in the voice of her ideologically opponents! Incredible.

[@ADollOnAMusicBox]

God, I wish I was so eloquent- yes to all of this.

[@syl59281]

Someone copied this comment further down, weird

[@ophello]

Most of your problems become solved when you learn to be useful to others besides yourself.

[@nuclearpancake3683]

off topic but 666th like

[@nozzwald]

This gave me a new understanding of a sibling’s lost fight with heroin. An understanding from the side I’ve never heard; the voices from within. I find new empathy for her in a place I never thought I could. These feelings are deeply universal. I really apologize if putting the weight of a stranger’s personal story onto your work makes you uncomfortable, but it’s something I feel inclined to share. Thank you, Natalie.

[@ilikemaline]

I learned a bit about heroin addiction and why people use...it's extremely sad and it's one of the few things that gives relieve to people who suffer very deeply. It can quiet the voices and give you a sense of warmth and safety. I am very sorry for your loss, hope you are doing ok.

[@TheMedsPeds]

Am an addict myself and I’d say it’s pretty accurate. All I can say is don’t try opioids if you don’t have to. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with and I’m someone who’s had to deal with the death of my husband and suicide of my best friend and those are both walks in the park compared to opioid addiction.

[@cypressatlas5528]

It made me think of my former partner who abandoned me for heroin and then died by drowning in a bathtub. That scene where she almost drowned was honestly hard to watch due to how similar it is to what happened to my partner. I agree, this video gave me a new perspective that is probably more similar to what he was going through than anything I could imagine on my own. Thanks, Natalie.

[@cc-dtv]

@@ilikemaline Opioids do not cause long term health degradation like most other commonly used 'immoral molecules', in a regulated (not black market fentanyl...) environment the only major health complication is the dependency. Once you develop a serious opioid addiction and/or dependency, statistically you will be dependent for the rest of your life. it takes literal years for the body to re-normalize after a long term, serious, opioid dependency. Both these concepts are why maintenance therapy has not only been best medical practice for over a century at this point, but also is the ONLY efficacious treatment for opioid addiction. Prohibition has turned a bunch of opium eaters into IV fentanyl addicts.

[@1334neko]

I have also been there. sending solidarity

[@catherinemccormick3184]

“A five alarm lesbo cosplaying as a trad wife” absolutely SENT ME 😂😂

[@neonbeachbaddie]

I had to pause because I was laughing so hard

[@wickedphant0m]

10 years ago, I would have been upset by the strawmanning of Christianity, but nowadays, that's just an accurate read of everything American christian leaders are saying (just condensed down for comedy's sake). Also "you know what you're saying is indefensible, so instead you defend your right to say it" is a GOD TIER breakdown.

[@ferretappreciator]

To be fair, I think it's all straw manning if it's like a one actress movie

[@leobarajas1468]

@@ferretappreciator Would you call the Socratic dialogues a giant straw man?

[@ferretappreciator]

@@leobarajas1468 yes because it's a big movie :D. I wasn't trying to say nattalie is wrong about anything just that anything could be called a strawman, and ultimately people who tend to use that term are unhelpful (see the other commenter :|)

[@ferretappreciator]

also edited my comment to say actress because I don't want to be associated with the other person

[@richardkelly4950]

"You got a guy? A semen guy?" "That's just most guys" The material is really tough in this video but the jokes are so well fucking done. As every topic gets darker the humour just gets better at balancing it all out. A big fan

[@semi-san1736]

When you think/look at it, the text and visual imagery is so dense! Surely there's an innuendo.

[@Sara-sn5gd]

Listening to Justine describe erotic love has the same effect as watching someone make the most delicious looking chocolate cake while you are currently in an apartment with only instant ramen and all the stores are closed.

[@oculttheexegaming2509]

Justine's description of erotic love also reminded me of Oscar Wilde's "The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name" speech.

[@A_PringlesCanwithVeins]

fucking apt description. Natalie just summed up my life issues in an hour ,and now im pissed i spent some much on therapy .

[@GuiSmith]

@@oculttheexegaming2509 Very that, I’m also getting hints of Sappho that I’m sure Wilde also was familiar with

[@weirdcreature9928]

As an ace, it was kinda like watching someone make a delicious cake while you're so full you couldn't possibly eat anymore. It's still nice to see. And it also helped me understand some stuff about sexual attraction which I didn't think about

[@banxeescreems3337]

Certainly hit home in a way considering how “love” and dating is basically commodified to the point of soul sucking torture. Dating apps are a joke. Everything is all about dtf culture, her comment about the lack of community and how it’s a bunch of wounded people wounding each other also couldn’t be any more true. It’s a damn shame itself. Very powerful feature.

[@sophiejervis169]

I love how contra calls out how melodramatic overtly religious bigots can be, because damn a break up and gospel music really isn't that deep 💀

[@bw8696]

Using Eminem's face as Justine's pretransition photo is the most a KZbin video has ever made me laugh

[@astrogallus]

YES!!!!

[@pontushanning464]

This! I was crying 🤣😭😭💀💀☠️

[@mattkeflowers]

That one is what broke me

[@Homodemon]

But can the real slim shady please stand up?

[@JackyTMusic]

Don't forget the 'The. Way. I. Am.' callback line Nat drops later in the vid lol

[@digitalkaisergaming276]

“Im here to remind you that your pain is….optional” is such a real fucking statement when you are dealing with addictions and recovery. Im going through my own journey with this, you are a queen I watched every second of this video.

[@stephanieeller2283]

It is a hard statement. It is also kind of a lie. 😬 (Well, maybe a lie for everyone except the Buddhists.) To live is to feel pain, of some sort, at some times. If you can’t feel pain, you also can’t feel joy.

[@julesk1567]

Stephanie Eller not even buddhists would agree. a buddhist saying is „pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.“ suffering occurs when pain is not accepted.

[@Nakam459]

@@julesk1567 Buddhist here not a guru but life is to be not lived by extreme denial to our flesh Yeah I also left Christianity but can't deny my love for the Person and teachings of Jesus himself . but not go to extreme length of pleasure and hedonism but . walk what the Buddha calls the middle path . being a Buddhist means you experience the pain in life but you choose and work towards betterment and enlightenment and are called just like real Jesus followers are taught by him to do as well which is walk the path endure the struggle walk in peace find joy and ecstasy in your life and follow truth and be a skeptic and help your fellow creatures to the best of your abilities also a bit of an absurdist and our calling in life is to see the contradictions endure the pain and find our own meaning and even if it is to be mostly a lot of pain just like the myth of Sisyphus being cursed by Zeus to roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity only for it to inevitably fall to the bottom but to find peace in a chaotic mostly meaningless world we still fight that boulder and keep doing so because it is not going away.

[@Sarcasticron]

@@stephanieeller2283 The fact that the statement is kind of a lie is part of what what Contra is trying to get across. Substances CAN take away your pain...for a while. The lie is that this doesn't make your pain optional...it just postpones it. What makes it really hard is having the stuff there and knowing you don't HAVE to feel the pain...today. Every day you are faced with that choice, so every addict thinks "I'll quit...tomorrow."

[@malbasedvalentine3210]

It’s true…but when science discovers a cure for mental sickness, will these same people take this cure? Or will they instead embrace their pain, because it ultimately gives them that attention and sympathy they long for? It’s a question no one will answer truthfully, and even if they did, their answer will just be your typical coping mechanism.

[@keepitprofessional2296]

The short conversation about having desire vs acting on it is the main talking point in Muslim circles, and as someone who grew up Muslim and LGBTQ, it really hit me. This whole video really struck a chord in me.

[@joelbedulla4]

That's also a talking point in "Side B" Christianity where Christians accept the desire but decide to remain single and celibate until death 🙃

[@keepitprofessional2296]

@@joelbedulla4 I was told that being queer was a test that God had set for us and that we weren't supposed to act on it. It's incredibly cruel when you're told that the only way for you to gain God's favor is to die alone and unhappy.

[@zenithquasar9623]

Yeah, as a Queer ex-Muslim, I personally think it gets unbearable of a burden very quickly and I'm like borderline aro/ace! I can't imagine being horny all the time or needing a partner and repressing that much. It really isn't healthy.

[@housekinokuni903]

Dude as a gay Muslim too, you have no idea how many times I've heard this exact sentence.

[@bleirdo_dude]

Do any of you watch Apostate Prophet?

[@SubSalicylate]

Last year when this came out my mom overheard me watching this and started a fight about how I’m obsessed with sexuality (?) (I’m queer), which ended with me crying. I never finished the video because it kept reminding me of the fight with my mom, but now I’m happy to say that I’m finally watching it to the end. Edit: I never expected this to get so many likes! It’s been a long time since that fight and I have a better relationship with my mom now. Now she more or less understands my sexuality and romantic preferences and doesn’t question them. It’s been a tough journey, but I’m doing well now :)

[@attackofthespots]

hey pal, sorry about your mom letting you down. glad you made it through

[@fairyonice9504]

Ugh, I asked my mom if I could go to a trans rights protest and she also said “why am I obsessed with The Gays?!?11” and yhea, it really hurt, being a closeted queer, being told that people like me didn’t deserve rights. Hope your mom comes around, you deserve better.

[@alfonsoc.950]

Listen to your mom. She loves you and know better for you than a bunch of youtubers who will not be there when you find almost everything they told you about sexuality was false and leading to a sad life

[@RT......]

I hope you realize how lame of a point that is. No one ever says that someone is "obsessed" with their sexuality when it's something related to straight people.

[@atlas_cass]

​@@alfonsoc.950 you need to touch grass

[@Zosio]

The second half of this was incredibly difficult to watch. I couldn't be more grateful to you for making it. I'd been worried that you were really hurting and struggling with this sort of thing. Your videos have always been so important to me. I hate knowing that such a beautiful and brilliant soul has experienced that much pain. As a former opioid addict and someone who still struggles with substance abuse... this video hit very hard. But again, I'm grateful for it. Thank you for sharing something so personal and painful with us. It means so much for those of us who have been in similar places.

[@oxxy6678]

I cant make it a day without a m30 lol

[@SomeRandomDevOpsGuy]

@@oxxy6678 Poor bastard. I've been there. Such a deep hole to climb out of. Wish you luck into the future friend.

[@tonycampbell1424]

You don't freebase fent because you're satisfied with your life, because you feel full of purpose and meaning. You do it because nothing actually matters, least of all yourself.

[@fighterflight]

@@tonycampbell1424 mmm it’s not that romantic. you’re just an addict.

[@markusbrendon]

She make such a powerfull image, is hard to not mirror into ourself, the temptation of not having more pain to deal with, talk with others, and the most important, this message is made with such a powerfull art that it makes you think about it more than what would a paper or a article would do.

[@wikcez1193]

As a conversion therapy survivor i am very grateful for this video. Only this year i actually started going to therapy and i can see some major improvements in my daily life and patterns of thinking. But I'm still unsure what's it going to take to actually heal that wound and learn how to live / cope with the shame.

[@esssttt]

I think healing and learning to live with these painful past experiences are the same thing. Traumatizing past experiences do not go away, but they will occupy relatively less space in our life once we address the patterns of thinking they have lead too and once we enrich our life with other things. Sounds like that is exactly what you are doing and you are doing it very well. Expecting to get rid of the pain is perhaps something to let go off as an end goal to achieve. Ideologies that promise a painless life are based on delusion, and chemically induced absence of pain is also clearly not the answer. Suffering is just a part of it, we should not let suffering take over our life, and the same counts for attempting to numb suffering. Anyway, I admire you and wish you all the best!!!

[@Sarcasticron]

I hope you understand now that the Bible doesn't condemn loving same-sex relationships, and it's not God who's obsessed with people's genitals and private consensual sex. Spending all your time thinking about whether other people are having proper sex is a mental health problem, like OCD. It's not biblical.

[@astradewoodvale159]

@@Sarcasticron Yes, the Bible has done worse things than this actually. Aside from the constant gaslighting Christians have done to minorities and numerous warcrimes, the Bible is nothing more but a sandman’s tale in which people occasionally cherrypick from when it benefits their narrative.

[@l01230123]

@@Sarcasticron I'm sure you mean well, but isn't it an issue with the wording that the bible gets referenced in support of homophobia? Not that it's absolutely correct to do so, but for example, the whole man lying with man bit has been put into a homophobic context numerous times. I wouldn't call the bible inherently homophobic, but you have to acknowledge it specifically gets used as an authoritative tool to push ignorance and trauma. For something that's "not biblical," it's something that has been interpreted as biblical by others since before we were born. To me it makes sense to blame both the individual and their instruction (specific religious teachings/bible) rather than just the individual. The bible has gone though many edits, most minor some controversial, so there was and is plenty of opportunities to change the wording to not sound homophobic if they cared. That's a very simple solution assuming you understand it's "proper" interpretation. Then there'd be no argument about proper interpretation and individuals couldn't cite it in favor of homophobia. Plenty of great religious people/organizations/books/etc. out there too, I don't mean to be a negative Nancy 🌈

[@unchainedmel1475]

I have found that trauma is less about healing a sound, finding a cure, fixing the broken. We can learn better ways of dealing with the worst if it, learn to live with what we can't change, but most of all accept who we are now such that we can learn to love that person. Learning to love yourself is a difficult and dark path. Sometimes a start is seeing the person you are to those that love you. Over time I have learner to like the person that I am now... Perhaps I'll learn to love her in the future....

[@periclesbeirao3797]

A friend of mine died this year. We used to sit together every time that was a new video of you to watch and talk about. I loved how u described the void.. because it was his own.. how when he wanted to quiet he told me ok I will give up of the one thing that make life bearable He would had loved the video and saw soo much of himself. Would not had saved him, but would had bring one nice day with him sharing this experience Thanks

[@joelbedulla4]

I'm sorry for your loss, man.

[@cooldocmom]

This is so hard. If you would like someone to talk to, call local hospices they may offer free grief counseling.

[@bettievw]

I hope you're doing alright. I'm so sorry for your loss, it never gets less painful to lose someone we love. But the pain does ebb away, it will become better or it will become easier. I hope it does for you, I wish you all the love you can have. Godspeed, my friend.

[@Rakshasa1986]

My condolences.

[@Anthropomorph0]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Loss is hard, i hope you're ok.

[@astronomicallyxenharmonic]

I watch this like almost every night, I’m starting to memorize this whole thing. This is probably one of my favorite videos on the internet. There’s so much time and effort put into this I love the crystals and masks. The makeup and costumes. Everything. I really wish I could do stuff like this in my future. It’s just so cool. Definitely one of my favorite videos. You balance it being dark and philosophical with very light humour and it all pans out so well

[@Grokford]

It’s so cathartic, I spend too much time in conversations just like these so it’s so refreshing to not be the only one seeing the problem.

[@xmorgan1123x]

thank god im not the only one watching this on repeat lmao. this and shame are very good for contemplating while drifting to sleep

[@MrCal2648]

The part about many Christians being more concerned with the "compassion aesthetic" than genuine compassion couldn't be more true, especially among the "hate the sin, love the sinner" crowd.

[@robertclaar1400]

"You know that what you're saying is indefensible so instead of saying it outright, you just talk about your freedom to say it." So well put. Thanks for putting into words a feeling I have when listening to many podcasts and conversations about gender, identity, CRT, etc. :)

[@StratsRUs]

That was the best part.

[@Ur3rdiMcFly]

Timestamp please. Watched it earlier, wanted to show that part to a friend.

[@mouwersor]

I'm sure everyone who doesn't believe in your ideology secretly thinks their ideas are false as well....

[@undeniablyunreliable]

@@Ur3rdiMcFly 7:35 :)

[@mostlyharmless6x9]

"the free market?" "yes, we all have our little delusions" this never fails to make me laugh out loud. I love Jackie's whole speech after that.

[@IcyIndigo]

This is art. This is cinema. Natalie should’ve been nominated for awards for this

[@MetalBansheeX]

It truly is amazing

[@christophert8751]

I had a surgery not too long ago and was prescribed opiates as a pain killer. At first it was kind of a joke I would tell myself like "Oh lol, these are kind of nice" and then it went to "well I was prescribed them so I may as well use them" and it spiraled from there. I don't think I've ever been that close to a cliff before and it would be so easy to fall into something that would cost me my job, life, and so much more. It's no wonder there's a drug problem in this country and it's crazy how easy it would be, for me at least, to become another number in that statistical hellscape.

[@vysharra]

You make it seem like the pills are the problem. The opposite of that is being sent home with no relief or consideration for the effects of pain. Your awareness of the risk was what was important for you, social support and community education reduces addiction, not being sent home in agony because you might seek out adulterated street drugs to abuse once you finish a very regulated and otherwise safe supply of medication.

[@jemolk8945]

@@vysharra That's just the thing, though -- the way it's phrased _doesn't sound_ like a very regulated and otherwise safe supply of medication. I don't want to speak for or over Christopher here, but the way it's phrased, it seems to be implying the doctors weren't being as careful as the patient here. It would, sadly, not be the first time, and I'm also quite sure it would not be the last. Medical care in the US is sadly very sub-par due to it being run as an entirely for-profit enterprise.

[@Patmorgan235Us]

​@@vysharra wow where did Chris say people shouldn't be prescribed pain killers? they certainly have an important use. I think what Chris was getting at is there needs to be more consulting before people are prescribed painkillers as well as monitoring. to keep people from going " I was prescribed all these pills so I should take all these pills"

[@vysharra]

@@jemolk8945 you’re lucky to get 3 days of Tylenol #3 if you break a major bone in my major city, the regulations on opioids in my state have become prohibition levels of ridiculous. Entire pharmacy chains won’t even fill the prescription. I find it very hard to believe they wouldn’t have mentioned having too many pills if that increased their sense of risk since it would be exceptionally relevant

[@jemolk8945]

@@vysharra Seems like it's always one extreme or the other in our screwed up healthcare system. Either you get excessive amounts with no guidance or oversight, or you can't get any. It's ridiculous. I have no particular reason to disbelieve either you or our OP here about either of your experiences; both line up quite well with things I've heard in the past from various people in various areas, in fact. I also wonder, though, if it has to do with gender and race as much as location. Doctors sadly often don't take women's pain as seriously as men's, nor do they take black people's pain as seriously as white people's. Long story short, though, our medical system is completely fucked, and often enough the only thing it seems incapable of doing is what it needs to do.

[@elizabethoconnor1493]

I watched this with my other queer housemates like it was the Gospel Part II come to screen. And then we sat in shocked silence for 60 minutes as every phrase recited by our fundie and Catholic parents and friends was hurled by Virginia. I know I've moved past the brainwashing and addiction to self-loathing that religious compulsion feeds on, but DAMN that was hard. You researched incredibly hard to make every word of hers something real and poisoned, that we all have faced. Sending love....this was a video you had to suffer so intensely to make. 🥺😭❤️

[@EleanorMcHugh]

Virginia is very well observed and I find her a lot more interesting than the stereotype of a tradwife fundamentalist is usually presented. She’s found the salve for her own pain in faith and she expresses that faith through a very particular religious understanding. This keeps her from falling back into the pain she experienced in her old life whilst giving her the opportunity to build an identity independent of her carnal needs/wants/desires. But Virginia also needs others to follow those rules because she mistakes piety for holiness: the customs of religion and tradition for the mark in others of true faith in the Gospel. She’s very much at risk of swapping one set of sins she abhors for self-righteousness and legalism which are just as bad. I suspect Virginia would look on another cisgender lesbian woman with much more compassion than she can muster for Justine because she knows her own pain which caused her to look for an alternative identity outside of her sexuality. Justine’s pain is alien to her and Virginia cannot accept that a constructed identity - the very thing her own religious life is based in - can be equally as meaningful for someone else if it violates her understanding of embodied physicality. Her surprise and discomfort that Justine too identifies as a lesbian further reinforces this. However I think it’s clear that behind Virginia’s religious beliefs she also has a genuine spiritual faith and really does believe the Gospel that we are all sinners deserving death, that Christ died for our sins, that his blood atonement will save anyone who chooses to place their faith in him, that he rose from the grave in the flesh to conquer death, and that he is the prophesied Son of Man. Her spiritual raptures seem very clearly focused in that personal relationship. This is the saving grace which many of her religious fellow travellers lack despite their protestations to the contrary. 1 Corinthians is normally the passage the Virginia’s of the world bring up when they want to argue against toleration of homosexuality or transgenderism. They’re right that the Bible does view homosexual intercourse as sinful along with pretty much everything else humankind has a natural predisposition towards - including heterosexual intercourse outside of monogamous marriage. And Jesus raised the stakes compared to the Mosaic Law by pointing out that the desire to sin is the sin itself in God’s eyes. The Biblical assessment of human nature is brutal and damning: that all sin and fall short of the glory of God and that none can save themselves. Paul was making a very serious point about how those saved in Christ no longer face this condemnation under the law, but that being free they shouldn’t look on that as a license to do whatever they desire because that has consequences both here and now in the physical world and in the development of a personal relationship with Christ. That they should think through the consequences of their desires before acting rather than being mastered by them, and thus do their best to live sanctifying lives. The strand of Christian doctrine Virginia follows appears to be Dominionist - that the purpose of the Church is to establish a Godly kingdom on Earth. The idea that America is somehow a modern-day Israel is often mixed with that and that as a sinful nation it will be under judgement for those sins. There are sound Biblical arguments that any nation which revels in sin will indeed suffer for doing so but that’s the law of cause and effect not part of some special covent given to a gentile nation as a basis for manifest destiny. Rather than being salt and light (ie Ambassadors witnessing to the power of Christ to redeem) those who follow this line of thinking set themselves up as judges and rulers trying to force others to salvation through pious behaviour regardless of whether or not they possess a saving faith. That is an utterly incoherent proposition. Virginia doesn’t look on Justine as a poor sinner like herself to be saved because I suspect she no longer sees herself as a sinner. She was a sinner and that’s why she needed to be saved, but now she’s saved sinning is something other people do because they don’t follow the rules and she does. After all, she no longer practices homosexuality so clearly she has overcome - or if we are being generous, she believes the power of the Holy Spirit has overcome - her sinful nature. Forgetting her own filthiness she has no interest in meeting Justine as an equal and because of that she can’t offer Justine compassion. Rather than seeing a wounded person in need of love, Virginia sees an enemy to be overcome. All Virginia achieves is to further entrench Justine in her own opinion that the Gospel isn’t something for her and indeed is something created by bigoted people to make the hate this world expresses towards gender and sexual non-conformity all the more oppressive. So Justine is left in her own spiral of pain, looking to remedies of the flesh for an inner ache which is fundamentally spiritual, losing herself in a Faustian bargain where Void anaesthetises her to her pain but robs her of everything which might give her life positive meaning. It grieves my soul that so many people are not just lost but actively driven away from the Gospel by supposedly devout Christians who would rather judge them than show them compassion. They remind me of the Pharisees whom Jesus called White-Washed Tombs, holy on the outside but corrupt within. Only Natalie can say for sure if Virginia is intended to be one of their number but I feel she’s written and performed in such a way that she does not have to be and that she should therefore be given the benefit of the doubt. Will she get over herself in the sequel and be the force for good she clearly wants to be? I really hope so.

[@elizabethoconnor1493]

@@EleanorMcHugh You were almost compassionate...but then you got caught up in listening to yourself philosophizing. Don't be a Virginia❤️

[@EleanorMcHugh]

The Virginias of the world need compassion just as much as you or I.

[@Kilroyan]

Having grown up in a fundamental christian church, I feel you hit it spot on how many christians fall back on an archaic, formulaic rhetoric when their identity is called into question. I found it to be extremely sobering when I realized that under duress these people would fall back on core beliefs that they couldn't plainly and coherently explain anymore, shrouding them in a veil of mystery and grandiosity instead. Great video, gave me lots to think about.

[@huginnandmuninn4865]

🤣

[@zothOne]

The thing with Christian fundamentalist groups is that they are a group, even if they are wrong, the true believers will probably feel much less of an emptiness than those on the outside. The lack of emptiness comes from both the perceived divine entity and the sense of a community of brothers and sisters varies. The answer isn't to join these groups, obviously (Nat explains well enough why no one should). But those on the outside must make protections against the emptiness by joining supportive communities as well, individuals are fragile.

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@scroogles6207]

I'm a trans woman ex-catholic who's addicted to weed and afraid of getting addicted to worse drugs, so this video was way too goddamn real for me.

[@ejejenrnjrejhsndjjeekbeehh8435]

Pls try meditation and research about pyschology watch pysch2go it really helped me watch philosphy of taoism it helped me to live my life way more peacful don't do that “You want to know the truth about drugs? You can only go one or two ways. You can go up, or you can go down. That’s it. After a certain point, though, no matter what you do, what you take, you don’t go anywhere, and that’s when you’ve got to sit down and face yourself.” - RuPaul

[@christophersnedeker]

Look into George Macdonald

[@chasebarber10]

Good luck fellow lgbtq stoner. Just wanna tell you you've got this!

[@TheOneAndOnlySame]

You're a dude . Make peace with your nature it will heap for everything else

[@cheddarbiscuits6220]

jackie going from the keg beer, to the starbucks, to the red bull, and the doritos- not being able to quell her addiction to unhealthy substances is so hilarious as the serious debate goes on in front of her.

[@lnt305]

Also cigarettes!

[@onlyusernameleft2]

It's called "foreshadowing"

[@sparklemachinee]

not me eating doritos watching this 👀

[@talwyn_cc]

addiction to "free market" consumerism

[@DeFaulty101]

The last segment speaks to me so profoundly. I've always looked down on drug users growing up. "Don't they know what drugs will do to them? How can they hurt themselves like that? How can they do something so stupid?" And now, I'm on the verge of becoming a user myself because I'm so anxious and depressed, so desperate to improve my mental state that I'm willing to risk destroying it just for the possibility. It's like a gamble to save your life; what have you got to lose? I hope you're okay, Natalie. This strikes me as autobiographical, but hopefully it's just based on observations, and/or it has a happy, triumphant ending. And for what it's worth, I'll avoid dangerous substances, soldier on, and try to address my dissatisfactions the hard way.

[@switchbladejimmy7655]

Addiction IS the hard way. We’re not having fun. Most of us are mentally ill already, the rest are physically ill. People don’t do hard drugs to have fun; it’s literally the 2nd to last resort…get me? It’s like any other illness. Please be receptive to that reality, and shed any sliver of the Reaganite narrative we’ve been indoctrinated into of moral deficits.

[@takeshikovax6254]

Been there, done that. Do not self medicate. Make sure you're careful even with certain doctor prescribed meds (such as benzos). A lot of drugs will help temporarily, but have a rebound effect, making your symptoms much worse once they wear off, which can lead to dependence. Personally, Lexapro helped me the most (even though it took about a month for me to notice any difference, and it didn't cure my anxiety and depression, just lessened my symptoms a bit). I have an addictive personality, but have never felt any dependence to any anti-depressants I've used, and never experienced anything like withdrawal (I always tapered off them though).

[@anlymoianlymoi1181]

"Don't they know what drugs will do to them? How can they hurt themselves like that? How can they do something so stupid?" I found this phrase really interesting because it could be addressed both ways. On one hand, drugs can be horrible and hurt you, so why would you do something so stupid? On the other, reality without them can be horrible and in some way you hurt yourself by subjecting yourself to its pain, so why would you do something like that to yourself? Both choices have downsides.

[@tdclemensen]

Keep doing what you're doing. The easy way ends up a lot harder in the long run. Self-medication is a fire that feeds into itself.

[@karanimenielsen4665]

@@takeshikovax6254 Can confirm, benzos will end you.

[@larksmith629]

The way you describe why the "we're all addicts" message is so harmful is just fantastic. Really love this one

[@alexeyborodavkin3809]

Why is no one talking about this video being part 2 of the "Left"? Justine tried to be ice cold mthfckr, but failed. She tried to make marxism fashionable, but the editor twisted the meaning of her book. It is also a prelude to the "Witchtrail" video: it shows why Justine/Contra leave the center. Justine tried to be friends with both the left and the right (Tabby and Tiffany), but ended up estranged from both. This lore is so entartaining even though Im not american, I watch this videos to feel comfortable cause my life is fckd up and I need a light.

[@godzdead]

but fr, i never noticed... спасибо алексей бородавкин, я тоже смотрю не из сша, поднимаем уровень дискуссии в восточной европе

[@alexeyborodavkin3809]

@@godzdead thanks) where r you from?

[@MrsBlack88]

I love this analysis. Beautiful!!!

[@georgeuferov1497]

​@@godzdead базируем

[@jhill0623]

“The aesthetic of being compassionate” sounds like a title of an episode id hella watch. Awesome super informative thank you for working so hard to make such beautiful episodes!!

[@paleportia5178]

Hey Natalie, I don't know if you'll read this but this has really helped me. Am processing a break up at the moment and still every saturday I get rat-arsed blind drunk. Don't drink on the other days but I literally have no stop button and your video helped put into words how I'm feeling and I'm pretty hungover tbh but thanks you're amazing

[@sparkymularkey6970]

Check out the book Alcohol Explained! It's really helped me change the way I look at alcohol.

[@linxpyrkagias7566]

Nothing is more honest and authentic than the words of a thankfull drunk

[@jamesadamson4738]

we've got this - we're going to be okay. from one struggling soul to another we're going to be okay.

[@lousielouise8716]

breakups are horrible. you will get through this, though.

[@paleportia5178]

@@sparkymularkey6970 Oh thank you didn't realise I had so many replies T.T I shall take a look fine internet stranger

[@Trixiethegoldenwitch]

Wow... people are going to think the blonde girl is a strawwoman, but she is actually so spot-on to someone I know it terrifies me to think that's a whole archetype. Then again, this is also a great adaptation of Christian Woman by Type O Negative. I needed this so thank you.

[@questionmark5463]

Yep. I have met several people like this and they can be super preachy and annoying. They are mostly all Born Again types like this.

[@fringedsquawker]

didnt think id find another type o fan in the comments but yes!

[@Dr.E7HER]

A person just like that is currently running for office in Michigan

[@jmd0605]

She is literally the Pastor of my old church, except a woman, which he would hate so bad lmfaooooo

[@TheBluffStudios]

aren't all 3 of them blonde? or is that your point?

[@LadyMercutia]

GOD I love this. Like it’s not just the dialogue. The body language of each character is so distinct. It’s just SO well done. Natalie doesn’t just set up caricatures to knock them down. They’re annoying in a real way and well-rounded in a real way. (And totally dumb in varying degrees in a real way 😂.)

[@KingsandGenerals]

Nothing a few corndogs can't solve

[@oohforf6375]

love u

[@michaelgj23]

Surprised to see you here

[@pridefulobserver3807]

Kings & Generals here too ??, well well well

[@MrMelkor98]

But what do you mean by "corndogs"?

[@DenethordeSade.90]

Literally was watching a kings and generals vid like an hour ago

[@thisisjustgreat91]

The comedic timing of Jackie gasping after Virginia's "I gained weight." Just incredible, ingenious.

[@wallyaloud]

I literally laughed out loud.

[@syl59281]

So good 😂

[@johndoe4110]

Hey Natalie, I know you're probably not gonna read this, but this video out of all the videos you've made really hit me. I'm a bisexual trans man who grew up homeschooled in Christian fundamentalism. After being kicked out multiple times, struggling through multiple addictions, becoming homeless, and dealing with mental and physical health problems, I've been so desperate I've almost turned back to the fundamentalist community I grew up. I remember when my grandma gave me all these books by "ex-gays", when my dad threatened to send me to conversion therapy, when I lost all my friends after being outed. Something in this video just struck me and I'm only 20 minutes into it but already all these thoughts and memories shoved deep down have been triggered. When I was a child, I used to lie awake at night, hallucinating demons who were coming to take me to hell for being attracted to the girls at church. I would pray and shout and yell and scream at God for hours, begging him to take away my "sinful desires". I tried so, so hard to repress myself, that now, I don't even know who I am. I only survive day by day, trying to find a stable place to sleep and some food to eat. Thanks to this video, I'm doing some searching of the self at 12 am while mentally preparing to go to church with my family so they will let me stay with them until I get back onto my feet. I know this seems like a long, pointless rant, but all I'm trying to say is this really stirred up some shit in my mind and its forcing me to think about things I wanted to forget.

[@sweetest4684]

this was so heartbreaking to read. i'm wishing you the best on your journey and sending you a big hug

[@democritus2491]

Hey 👋, you should look into some LGBTQ organizations in your state to see if they can offer any refuge. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go back home because you’d end up getting back on your feet in a hostile community. If you’re between a rock in hard place, you should exercise your best judgement when dealing with this really tough decision. If you do end up going back into that poor environment don’t give up hope for a better future, take care of yourself. Listen to relaxing music, interact via discord or reddit, read some good books. Religious communities go after the moods of their victims through many different avenues. I wish you good luck!

[@wamyc]

Hey man, there are people out there that will love you for who you are. You don't have to stay with your abusive and controlling family. Please believe me, you are going up be ok without them.

[@jkleins2869]

there is so much out there for you, it won't be easy. everyday will be hard but you can get out of your situation if you push yourself. i relate a lot to your story and just know you're not alone. life is what you make it to a certain extent. go after what you want in this life while you still are able.

[@grmpEqweer]

I hope you get away from them as rapidly as possible, and to somewhere you can be yourself.❤️🌈

[@micaiaha]

A year later and I'm still catching things I never noticed before. Like at 19:28 where Virginia is saying how she felt at her lowest - and it shows her in the different seats of the characters. Justine: alone, Jackie: an addict, and Virginia: lost. It's like a subtle revealing of each character's Achilles heel, and how they've found themselves on the path they are on. A lot of these little symbolisms are so easy to miss but noticing it really makes you appreciate how much thought and creative detail she put into this ❤ Edit: Loneliness, Addiction, Being Lost - All these things could be seen as, well... The Hunger! So cool that towards the end of the debate Justine and Virginia acknowledge that "we all feel the hunger" and that they actually do deeply relate to each other because of these empty holes in their lives. There are moments that they come so close to actual compassion and understanding of each other, like when Justine talls about love. But it's like their own pride, self-loathing, and wounds from their upbringing, repels them away from a genuine moment of empathy and care for one another. As one of the many queer people with Christian upbringing trauma, this video has helped so so much in unpacking my experience. And the realizations I've had through watching these characters really speaks to how complex they are - beyond just simple parodies that most people fall into doing. It's really inspiring honestly.

[@Jackderekhughes]

So. I am a gay recovering meth addict. This episode was everything I can say about addiction. And the moment when She took the void. Crap. My mind just went into. Idk. I’ve been there. Not knowing life and how to move on and suddenly just a drop makes you feel the best you have ever been. That’s the appeal. So seeing a moment like that, after having been through that and every moment after, I can say, This was worth the wait. 10/10 Absolutely stunning.

[@austinluther5825]

What hit me was the perfectly expressed depression, especially when it was just her alone smoking in the bathtub. That's what it was like for me when I was still a deeply closeted trans man. It's what it's like for my husband right now dealing with PTSD. Natalie really hit some uncomfortable truths right on point. Hope you're doing well. 😊

[@UnorthodoxIndividual]

Once or twice a year we gather to watch an hour of spiraling madness and descent. And I love it every time.

[@lizagna3299]

Holy shit, didn't expect my former Amphibia dealer to be here

[@ripley4884]

"... but 'love your neighbor' doesn't mean anything goes." this honestly gave me chills. i grew up catholic and i cannot tell you how many times i have heard people in the church say something similar but not as direct. incredible job as always, natalie ❤️

[@reaver1414]

Hate the sin, love the sinner

[@zeenanity]

@@reaver1414 calling anything a sin is already a sign of the speaker being too judgemental to sincerely love their neighbor

[@nitewarden]

I grew up Catholic as well and I was really bewildered by supposed Christians taking the simple message of "love your neighbor" and twisting it to justify cruelty and bullying. I might not really practice anymore but I've always wanted to believe that the principle of allowing everyone a chance at happiness and being kind was all Jesus was actually trying to say. Maybe that's super cornball but it's what's helped me be more open to listening to people like Contrapoints and hear about perspectives I might not have otherwise have known about.

[@jeffersonadams8711]

One that I remember from my catholic upbringing was (paraphrased): "Jesus said 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' to save the life of a pro stitute, but he also told her 'Go, and sin no more'. Sometimes a little judgment is necessary to save someone's eternal soul."

[@viive4107]

@@zeenanity Is it really too "harsh" to condemn *any* action?

[@nubesvaporosas7191]

This is by far my favorite contrapoints piece (and i love all her content just to be clear). I come back here every once in a while cause i find it comforts me. I hope she continues the story someday. It makes me feel so seen and sad also, in a way that is hard to explain. It's like when you're about to cry and someone hugs you, you can't contain yourself you just let go in the most human way possible. ❤

[@redacted6806]

I really see Mother Lucy as the inner dialogue of an addict. “I will stay here and remind you that your pain is optional: I see someone who is sad, and that’s pathetic” absolutely hit me to my core. These thoughts are so consuming and persistent, they really are like an outer influence shoving a very convincing argument in your head. When you’re already a “parched land” it doesn’t take very much push at all. Sometimes it only takes 10 minutes, like the conversation here, and every time I’m also surprised with myself how little it took to push me over the edge. The dark fingernails are such an important detail too. I always know I’m slipping when my nails and hands are constantly dirty, and it can also be interpreted as slowly dying while still alive, as it feels when you’re sucked further into the cyclical hell that is addiction. I’m too touched by this video. While I’ve been clean for 6 years, the symbolism and accuracy and nuances Natalie brought to play still shook me to my core. Thank you so much for your work. ♥︎

[@amagicallaura]

i still don't know how to argue against it. everything that stops me totally destroying myself is feeling bad for the effect on other ppl & financial limits. if someone is in bad physical pain, we expect that their pain should be stopped. but if you are in equally bad pain mentally & no other options other than "the void" stop it, you're supposed to just stay there in pain forever. how do i convince myself that's a good choice? choose pain over relief, over and over again... it's so so hard. i look at anyone long term clean like some kind of superhero bc they can constantly make that choice, after experiencing the pain relief. i remember someone saying "addiction is the only illness where you feel better recovered than you did before you got sick" ofc that's not true for everyone, but i would maybe. just titanium strength. congrats x

[@ididntchooseityet7018]

@@amagicallaura I don’t who you are but we can absolutely talk to each other anywhere like discord or something. I’m also an addict and maybe we could have a meaningful and meaningless conversation about it and learn something and maybe help each other, idk. I haven’t slept in like 2 days pls don’t judge my empathetic impulsivity 😭

[@tuesday3735]

Congrats on your sobriety

[@alexanderleatherman]

@@ididntchooseityet7018 some people are very nice

[@davidt8087]

@@amagicallaura I'm a fent iv addict too and I can't stop because it's so hard stopping after years.

[@furthermoreasmr9303]

"I don't think God leads people to podcasts." That has to be one of the funniest & equally profound lines ever written.

[@peergynt3008]

unless they're podcasts about god :3

[@avedic]

I'm so happy she brought Jackie back. Loved that character in the Transtrender video. She seems like a thoroughly insuferable person to be around in real life....but as a character? She's scenery chewing gold. I love her entire vibe. I also love how subtly different all three characters' accents are. Justine has that quintessential hyper educated east coast liberal tone. Jackie sounds like a Real Houswives character from Queens whose mantra in life is "Rosé All Day." And Virginia has a certain cringey midwestern earnestness. Natalie's videos have so many amazing elements that it's sometimes easy to overlook just what a great actor she is....in terms of voice, body language, facial expression, all of it...

[@djvbb12]

I just rewatched this for maybe the millionth time and I felt an overwhelming urge to express how much I hope you are doing well Natalie.

[@Apophis150]

I didn’t think the dead naming would make me as angry as it did but every “Justin” just pissed me off more and more. Excellent video! As always!

[@misterdemocracy3335]

That’s how you know Natalie’s acting and production is on point. As always.

[@Katy-sh3ru]

Me too

[@PinkkElephantt]

I nearly turned this off, because it was hitting me too hard. I'm at the start of what has the potential to be a pretty severe alcohol issue, and I saw myself in this video. Thank you, Natalie. I feel seen, called out, and reassured all at once.

[@trainsonplanes709]

I hope you can turn things around for yourself! Wish you the best

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Take care of yourself the best that you can. 💕

[@Brodeagainstempire]

I've found this guy pretty helpful with my alcohol issues: kzbin.info/door/rmDFdoZQU0CgAZm67Do4BQvideos I wish you well!

[@goldenscarecrow397]

I hope you manage to push through whatever is hurting you right now

[@babykillingcadillac6719]

i knew a virginia when i was a semi-closeted queer teenager going to bible study. she was my youth minister. you hit the nail on the head with her characterization. my minister would say that her homophobia was out of love. that she loved all sinners and wanted them to see the light. she compared me to a rapist because all sinners are equal, but that i too could be redeemed if i turned myself to the lord so i didn't have to be as bad as a sex offender. it's absolutely insane to me how some people can be so hateful and ignorant and disguise that as love and for god

[@tttttt4546]

Then this video sound like confirmation bias against your minister.....Yes?

[@liranpiade4499]

That's so fucked up on so many levels. No a rapist can't be redeemed by doing moral things. Plus comparing you to a rapist and calling that love.

[@bananatreelabs1137]

Yeah, it's all pretty horrible. The church I grew up in placed a big emphasis separating "love" and "acceptance," and actually using a rapist metaphor like you said was common. 'I can still love my child even if they were a rapist, but I won't accept rape as a thing they just do in their identity. I can love my child, but hate that they have fallen for the homosexual lifestyle' kind of thing.

[@flask223]

If you think a gay kid and a rapist are both equally morally bad... maybe you should rethink your beliefs

[@themurderofcoke]

Holy shit if my minister told me all sinners are the same, that might have had a bad effect on my upbringing

[@flowerfields6306]

I love how your characters have evolved over the years, changing as the political and social environment changes, but still making them feel like the same people. It's really interesting to piece together all the different parts of their story, like how Justine used to be much more feminine (in the way she dressed) and now doesn't care as much. Or the detail of how Justine came out as a lesbian to Tiffany Tumbles and was hitting on Tabby in previous vids with those characters, and here we see that they had been together and then broke up. But one thing I thought was especially interesting was the development of Jackie and how the centrist position has changed and the conflicting views that they hold.

[@Alina_Schmidt]

Totally yes! Agreed. Quite likely that‘s not gonna happen, but I hope in a part 2 we‘ll find out a little more about the Justine-Tabby-relationship and about where all the characters get.

[@space_eko]

NGL the depiction of addiction really got me. I had a parent that also fell in love with the void. This really brought up a lot of memories. It’s cathartic. Thank you.

[@JohnVance]

Her depiction of addiction is very, very spot on. I've never struggled with anything as hard as 'void,' but the dynamics are virtually identical. We need a drug that can cure addiction.

[@xinyyc]

@@JohnVance There is a drug that can cure addiction! Unfortunately, each drug you want to get not-addicted to has a specific opposite-drug, and some of the tests with these opposite drugs have made the test subjects feel so bad that they quit the tests in ways that would probably get this video demonetized to talk about

[@sweetest4684]

not to be incredibly cheesy but while i've been experiencing my own 'hunger', your videos have helped me feel like someone understands me, that i'm not alone, and have helped me to better understand myself. thank you for sharing your story and creating this thoughtful, highly personal art. it's so worth your hard work. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@KyrkRTG]

I know a dude from the high school that was nicknamed "The Hunger" after getting kicked out of an all-you-can-eat buffet for eating too much food. I don't know what that has to do with the video, but looking forward to watching it.

[@jp9707]

Are they allowed to kick out of those places, merely for following the instruction to eat all you can??

[@Fortress7]

"The hunger" is not a nickname that rolls of the tongue very well.. "hey the hunger, how did you do on your test?"

[@deadfr0g]

@@jp9707 Right??! HE WAS JUST DOING HIS BEST. 😭

[@KaliBeatsYoSoyAquel]

@@jp9707 I'm pretty sure they operate like an "unlimited" internet or phone plan. They advertise it that way thinking no one will go past a limit because it's "unreasonable". Then someone goes past the limit and bye bye profit lol

[@jackclark4598]

@@KaliBeatsYoSoyAquel the petty part of me wants to try the buffet thing just so i could draw Golden Corral into expensive, frivolous litigation over what constitutes "all you can eat". I'd buy tv slots, televise it, stream it. This is why I should win the lottery

[@Akira33335]

17:55 I love how she only gasps once gaining weight is mentioned rly nice subtle detail :)

[@Chuck_EL]

Lost it at how Natalie said "I'm being cancelled!!" 😂😂😂

[@dianamerchant1026]

I personally admire Jackie’s bladder after all those damn liquids. You put in so much hard work to what you do Natalie. My mother was an addict in the 80s. Unable to deal with being a closeted lesbian in a family that just wanted a smart son and couldn’t handle a brilliant daughter. I lost her in 91. I think she would take a lot of solace in your work. I revisit your videos often. Sometimes for substance, sometimes for aesthetic. Thank you for your hard work and discussing hard subjects. You can try to bury your pain but it somehow always comes back to bite you in the ass.🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Happy Pride❤️

[@erich5686]

So Precious...Finally a savior named Biden...

[@ricucci-hillmusic]

I wanted to say: this is probably the most insightful, artistic I've seen you. This video really got me thinking and self-reflecting. The line about "Desire feeds on absence, it reaches out across a void" really got to me. Honestly, a lot of lines from this video got to me. Also, others have pointed out, but thank you for bringing up the trend of self-harm and destructive behaviors in the LGBTQ community. Given the abundance of "Christian love" going around.... Cannot wait to see what you do with Part 2.

[@ricucci-hillmusic]

@Bingo Eh I wouldn't say that. It's got its problems but as with all communities, it's what you make out of it. I've found it to be a supportive space that allows me to approach with my own issues and find people who understand what I've been through. I've found a community that sees the importance of furthering each other's status in the world. There are plenty of problems sure, but it's been lot more welcoming and supportive than when I was a Christian I can tell you that. Not that we shouldn't address those toxic aspects of the community. We should, but just to keep in mind there is a lot of good in there too. :)

[@louisthegreat1686]

I was just contemplating my romantic and sexual failures - I’m a 28-years old gay man without a single day of serious relationships with anyone, lonely, sometimes childish and projecting. And I was just thinking - maybe, MAYBE I should just throw in a towel on my gayness and become a straight guy, find a girl and get married. And then our Dark Goddess-Mother Natalie relentlessly and MERCILESSLY dropped this Virginia Lamm character on me. SPECIFICALLY the lines “You’ve amputated a half of your own soul” and something about not being strong and grown up enough to endure rejection hit me pretty hard. So… here I am. 28, gay as a rainbow, lonely etc and basically staring at a possible future of mine as a homophobic “ex-gay” (because, OF COURSE, there are no bigger homophobes than “ex-LGBTQ” people). And I don’t wanna be that. I’d prefer to be a lonely gay guy never EVER approached by anyone who wants to “traverse the void to reunite with his other half” than to become this self-hating close-minded self-deceiving bigot. Thank you Natalie, for setting my head… gay. Edit: some grammar mistakes, English is not my native language

[@ayanna6327]

I've had a similar experience. 24, bi, in the closet, no serious relationship with either a man or a woman. I've had moments where I believe I should just parrot around as a straight devout Christian in order to cease my own personal emptiness, but that would that really satisfy me? Or would it simply pacify me into a state of strict conformity and theater disguised as happiness and safety??? It doesn't help that with the Religious Right becoming more powerful and certain laws being up on the table, that it seems like a viable conclusion to come to...but at the end of the day it is not truthful nor a fact that that would lead me to happiness or self acceptance.

[@opinion4755]

Whatever you chose never silence you guilt, shame, inadequacy - those are your best directions wherever you will go. The voice of conscience is the only way to know thy self.

[@louisthegreat1686]

@@opinion4755 I’m choosing to be true to myself - be gay as fuck. If it means that I’ll die alone - so be it. At least I’ll know some happiness instead of self-deceit and bigotry.

[@ayanna6327]

@@opinion4755 I think there is a difference between a healthy amount of self-criticism and allowing it to rule your life, which is what me and OP were talking about. For instance, why should I feel "guilt" and "shame" over my sexuality? That is one of the most illogical things to feel guilt over. What exactly am I feeling shame for? The shame wouldn't exist if society didn't make being LGBTQ+ seem morally reprehensible. I also don't think that negative emotions are more "true" indications of oneself than positive ones. That is a very insidious line of thought. There needs to be a balance because allowing just one or the other to indicate your life is just not healthy. Someone who thinks too little or too high of themselves is bound to never evolve.

[@opinion4755]

@@ayanna6327 yes yes yes! Like you said balance is the key. I am talking about these emotions within boundaries of healthy functioning psyche were they signal need to adjust behavior and are nor obsessive nor compulsive. And I mention this because when you develop an addiction to cope in my personal experience you do it tune out the message you need to hear. For instance if you really need alcohol to interact social an manage anxiety you are ( i was) an alcoholic. Let’s see what the next video reveals.

[@NicolaDutton]

"And with or without *your* approval and understanding, I will always be the way I am." This is the moment you realize the debate is all in Justine's head. It's not real. She's imagining a conversation with Denise.

[@NicolaDutton]

Also notice that minutes ago, Justine says "nothing is eternal". She contradicts herself here. She says she will always be a trans woman. She will always be a lesbian.

[@heliumtea3866]

“Desire feeds on absence, it reaches out across a void.” I don’t know why but this line resonates throughout every nook and cranny of my hollow shell.

[@Sephira0]

Oh shit I did not catch that. Thank you.

[@edumedicina]

I cried when she said it.

[@chelsgo8675]

It reminds me of Sartre. To be human is to crave to fill a lack, but the lack can never be filled because that desire is integral to the human experience. I still find it amusing that the "god-shaped hole in our hearts" line was coined by an atheist.

[@HurricaneDDragon]

Holy shit, I can see why it takes so long to make these videos. I can’t IMAGINE how laborious it must be to write, film, and especially edit these insanely well written conversations between characters that you play yourself. Not to mention, as usual, the immaculate cinematography, set design, and direction.

[@nevokrien95]

not to mention watching all the stuff to get context

[@serenaherlihy5888]

Virginia saying "I used to be a lesbian with gender confusion who took testosterone" and telling a trans lesbian "you're a straight man, you could've had it all!" is just . . . *mwah*

[@joseseserda]

Its brilliant!

[@serenaherlihy5888]

@@joseseserda I know right?

[@thelittlewateringhole5576]

What the fūçķ, seriously? ... I did not know I needed this.

[@hobbedgoblin10]

oh my god i didnt even notice

[@obsidianjane4413]

Pure projection.

[@brookechang4942]

I hope you're okay, Natalie. Whatever's going on in your life, please know that you have a community who cares about you. That might be a weird response to the deserved call-out for the queer left shitting all over each other, but now is as good a time as any to start being better at supporting our own.

[@FreeTheDonbas]

the CCC: the cross-dresser care community

[@guts1859]

@@FreeTheDonbas Found the 4IQ individual

[@patrickjacobs2177]

😊

[@garionnn1]

How Justine handles these two bigots perfectly, but afterwards feels mentally shattered by this prolonged interaction is spot on. The second part is vibrant with truth, maybe a little too much. This was amazing. Thank you

[@TCLe]

Jackie isn't so much a bigot though as far as someone who inadvertently platforms people who are for the sake of the "free marketplace of ideas" and being wishy-washy on top of that.

[@julianfern624]

The very small bit of Jackie asking Justine to just have a “calm, rational” discussion without emotions getting in the way, with Justine muttering “We’ll see how that goes”, is really so on point. People are always quick to point the finger at left wing people for hyperbolizing and escalating things, but there are MANY times when it’s the right wing conspiracy theorists and zealous conservatives who are the first ones to jump to the wildest of conclusions.

[@edwinam1362]

Well literally 30 seconds later “are you……… CANCEL CULTURING ME?!??!!”

[@spadinnerxylaphone2622]

Bofa.

[@Ajennyforurthoughts]

I've been closeted for my whole life, coming from a catholic/born-again christian background with a whole lot of internalized homophobia and transphobia. That isolation, that difference that Natalie talks about... it hits really close to home. And yet there's still a (terrible) part of myself that calls my identity fake because I haven't come out. It's as if I know the outcome of being cut off from my religious friends and family, but I tell myself that it's the only way to be truthful. It's a battle that I still wage every time I go home for a holiday, but the alternative of my family cutting me off terrifies me even more... so I wanted to extend a *virtual* hand to anyone who is still in their situation and closeted for a myriad of reasons (safety, connection, etc.). You are not a fake. It's a complex place to be in and there is no one answer to address it.

[@katelyn4358]

You're absolutely right. There's no shame in not having come out. I am twenty-nine. I never came out, but I am very obviously gay. I told people when my sexuality came up when it was safe to do so, but there is no need to actually come out.

[@Iamjustherek]

Your safety comes first. You’re just as valid in the closet as you are out.

[@DejectedJester]

Can’t say anything new, but I’m in the same boat as the OP. To anyone in the same situation, I really wish I could help you, but I can’t. At least know that you aren’t the only person feeling this, it helps me feel a little better at least.

[@indiebaby]

My gay uncle who took his own life over a decade by now it feels like so sad he's gone, he was such a good man imo. To this day his Catholic identifying sisters have not given him a proper funeral to my knowledge and it's been so long asking feels awkward. If I had the funds I would have liked to do him that honor. Being born into poverty and then adopted into poverty is a trip.

[@DrTssha]

There's no shame in hiding in the closet, because that's what keeps you safe from all the monsters who would harm you in whatever way they can get away with, all while telling themselves they're helping you. It's a fine line between tough love and abuse...in fact, some days I wonder if the line even exists at all...

[@PRISMA-NTM]

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate just how legendary Natalie's storytelling is?? Justines been a longtime character and we really get to see how shes grown from the very beginning. Her own journey of learning and growing. It makes me hope we see her again despite the end of This video. Oh- and don't think I didn't notice the little music bit from "The Aesthetic" play when Justine said "What you people really love is the Aesthetic of being compassionate" That is SUCH a neat detail. I am utterly invested in the contrapoints cinematic universe holy fuuuuckkk

[@shan8130]

Upon rewatch, I think I have a drinking problem. I’m gonna tell my therapist and stop before it gets out of hand. Thank you Natalie. ❤

[@squashfei8907]

sending you support

[@scoutpark5230]

I have faith in you

[@sam.tastic]

i know this was a month ago, but i hope you're doing alright ❤️

[@churribo]

^^ keep at her!

[@mitcharendt2253]

I hope you're doing well!

[@bitofalice]

The fact that this is only a three person production is nuts, so well made, and so depressingly spot on. Once pointed out though I couldn't stop noticing how similar they all sounded! Well worth the time invested

[@LadyAtoli]

Wait you know all 3 of them are her right?

[@yes-me6yg]

@@LadyAtoli that's what I'm wondering too

[@lnt305]

@@LadyAtoli ​ @? yes Charles Armstrong and Kat Lo are named as script advisors in the credits

[@valdir7426]

@@lnt305 plus the musician; Zoé Blade

[@Joyride37]

​@@LadyAtoli nah man, they're wildly different women. Similar sounding sure, but that's just the tendency with these types of podcasts, ya know?

[@cansofworms]

Not going to pretend like I know what it's like, but it sucks being lonely. It sucks that even when you've finally reached a point of authentically and fully expressing yourself you cannot find someone to share it with and enjoy it. It's a hard first step. There's a reason why i've never drank. Far to many queer men and women have to learn to cope with their pain through whatever means available. It is hard. It's harder to deal with it. But you're doing it for you and the love inside you. Remember that every time you learn to give up the void, you earn back the love you've had to give up in return. I'm not giving up on you. Don't you give up on you either. You deserve this kindness even though it might not feel so kind. You've got this.

[@marianar2948]

very wise words ♥

[@sadghosts]

As someone who also struggles with addiction I hope one day you can find a good substitute that genuinely provides relief and isn’t harmful to you. I watched this when it came out and months later I’m struggling - thankfully, there is a sunrise on the horizon and it is achievable. I refuse to stop believing this even if I fall many times back into easy, destructive comforts

[@vixxcelacea2778]

This is the crux of why addiction is "bad" because any benefit it gives is outweighed by harm. I think this is what drives a lot of people to stay in it. There is a shame in having sought out something to soothe the pain or numb it if the specific drug wasn't approved by society. In the case of some drugs, there is legitimate reason why they aren't a good thing, usually because they actually adversely affect physical and mental health in the long run. Otherwise, you'd simply call it medicine. It's frustrating that people don't take that understanding with them and don't realize people do things ALL the time that are responses to pain and stress, but if they are both socially acceptable and also actually healthy (or at least neutral, ends justify the means type medications with side effects that are tolerable) then they're not the "weak" ones, even though it's really just luck of the draw and access to a plethora of things that allow one to deal with that pain or suffering in a healthy way. I've never experienced drug addiction, but I do have sugar addiction and I see a lot of parallels in any form of addiction as to what drives it. The other issue is socially acceptable. There are a lot of unhealthy addictions (physical/mental) that are considered socially acceptable, doesn't mean they're good to do. I dunno if it's weird to say, but because I want to reach out in anyway I know how, this internet stranger is proud of you for understanding your issues, being self-aware and working to beat your struggle. I encourage you and anyone else struggling to use whatever health tools you have at your disposal, from just venting to a friend, support groups, or other behaviors that help you with your addiction and are good for you to do. And I commend you for the days that are more difficult than others. You're still here, still fighting and still learning and growing and that's something that I think we as society should acknowledge more.

[@atmaweapon2803]

As a trans woman with addiction issues (now 2.5 years in successful recovery) I found the second act of the video to be extremely difficult to watch, but extremely poignant and right on the money regarding the hunger for happiness and acceptance that, really, all of us feel. Thank you for making this, easily, I feel, your best produced and most dramatic video yet. ❤️ Keep hanging in there, Natalie! I will too.

[@BreezusSneezus]

Congratulations on your recovery! 💛

[@hallehuckleberry]

IM GLAD YOU’RE RECOVERING, KEEP GOING MY FRIEND

[@prajwaljayaraj5887]

The way sound design is used to convey emotion and atmosphere is so immaculate. Like the tortured and mutilated notes of the US anthem when the libertarian argues for more prisons. It's these little touches that do so much for the video.

[@emmartheindomitable]

the detail of her fingers becoming more and more stained as the addiction progresses breaks my heart. and jackie only gasping when virginia mentions her weight loss as opposed to anything else that she went through. damn. this made me feel a lot of things. thanks, contra.

[@eps3154]

You mean weight gain. God.. so many gems.

[@emmartheindomitable]

@@eps3154 yes i do. whoops

[@binah7744]

Rewatching this, Virginia’s whole “I love the Lord, who does not command me to be straight, but to be holy” hit me way harder than previous watches. One of the few queer Christian people I knew when I was coming of age and still Christian believed this. No clue what happened to her, but I hope she’s doing okay

[@joelgonzaga3408]

"Whatever twisted necromancy these people think is Christianity" is my new favorite description of white evangelicalism.... omg, and then she complained about Episcopalians. That's so real.

[@lauren8135]

It’s funny cuz when she said twisted necromancy at first I thought she was referencing the whole Jesus coming back after 3 days was necromancy and I was like indeed quite metal , but I got about a split second after that, that she meant just a bastardized hollow version of Christianity was her meaning. Not as fun but I’ll take it.

[@py_a_thon]

Believe in god, disbelieve in god, act as if god exists or give up on asking the questions?

[@py_a_thon]

@@lauren8135 God has been killed by many people and in many forms. What next?

[@Supermunch2000]

I have a feeling this video has a deep meaning to Natalie that we can't really fathom. Stay safe Natalie, we might be your parasocial crowd but we really do appreciate and love you.

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

she's a recovered opiate addict, so I suspect that part of this video draws on that experience.

[@alexterieur8813]

It's so weird to me how people use the term love so lightly. Imo, you cannot "love" someone you just don't know (because you don't know her).

[@stormylifts]

@@alexterieur8813 so how do you feel if i say i love peanut butter? like i love it so much i think it might almost satiate my own hunger... man i do love peanut butter...

[@LotharOfTheHillPeople]

@@alexterieur8813 this is a very on the spectrum response to someone saying they love a public figure

[@alexterieur8813]

@@stormylifts i feel conpletely shattered

[@noahbetts4906]

I'm glad Natalie makes a point not to just reaffirm the things most leftists already believe. She didn't make this video just to say "Christians bad" or "conservatives bad," this video asks us to reflect on the hunger in ourselves. Christians, especially the ones who used to be addicts, are often the people who speak the loudest about the hunger, so I think it makes a lot of sense to frame the debate how she did. Still, it's honestly such a bold choice to have the Christian be the one to challenge the hunger since so many queer people (Natalie's main audience) have been so hurt by Christianity and the Christians in their lives. She really has a talent for navigating complex issues like this and empathizing with (and even learning from) problematic people's points of view without endorsing them.

[@wallyaloud]

The nuance in all her work is simply glorious and so important.

[@austinluther5825]

You could even read the Christian's embrace of faith as a different from of "void." Clinging desperately to something to try making a difficult situation manageable.

[@chelsgo8675]

I think that's part of the point, that Justine and Virginia are not so unalike. They both feel internalized shame and fill their longing for happiness and belonging with different, yet both destructive in different ways, coping mechanisms.

[@kcfrances4500]

This shows how two different people can watch the same thing and take two totally different meanings from it. I think that’s a good thing. We’re you saw a Christian challenging the “ hunger”. I saw it as saying Christian’s are just like all the other people hungering and using Christianity to fill that hunger. It’s good for different people to be able to take away different perspectives on things.

[@ryanruopp3711]

I did like the line, “everything you’re saying sounds to me like you’re gay and you hate yourself. I couldn’t have put it less succinctly.”

[@alexanderleatherman]

"you know, growing up i never really felt connected to my mother" - "GIRL, not this..." *i fucking cant. if you know you know*

[@Despair254]

Hate to be the one but would you mind explaining ?

[@stoyanpetkov3853]

@Xiaronzaxater Yes and vice versa for queer people who were assigned a male birth sex. Queerness is always blamed on a bad/lacking relationship with the parent of the same sex.

[@ur_voidfriend6264]

wierd that a lot of people had arguments that i am a lesbian because i dont have a good relationship with my father seems like theyre gonna find something to blame no matter what you do or what relationships you have...

[@belle8732]

@@stoyanpetkov3853 even straightness in some right is viewed as a consequence of parenting, though i think it's more of an anti-woman thing. seen it countless times when women talk about having male sexual partners in a way seen as "promiscuous", and they are subsequently called fatherless or that they have daddy issues.

[@trawrtster6097]

I always take it as a weird obsession with nuclear families because it’s always about a mother figure or a father figure. Like no one is saying “you are broken because you didn’t live with your grandparents”. Even though grandparents can be great role models and caretakers