The Ideal Helpmate, Serving Your Partner & Building a Legacy

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• Hardly Initiated Podcast
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#relationshipadvice #datingadvice #marriageadvice
🕘Timestamps:

[@HardlyInitiated]

👉 Dating Cards: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck

[@v_p_low2373]

Hi everyone! I noticed that I missed hearing the "R" in the C.H.R.I.S.T. acronym during the episode. The content was so good that I had to write it down. Just in case anyone else missed it, the "R" is for respect and romance. I looked it up on their YT page. Have a good one, and be blessed!

[@TrasieHemingway]

Thank you because I am detail oriented and was like "R" is missing. You are a JEWEL!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉 You didn't miss it. "R" was skipped.

[@v_p_low2373]

@@TrasieHemingway you're welcome!!! 😊

[@TrasieHemingway]

@@v_p_low2373 And, I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY with you this content was Super Good. I have to say the Hardly Initiated platform is producing thought provoking, insightful, actionable content. #RealMenTalkingRealSh*T

[@ellaleggett9628]

Oh ok 😂 thank you because I was wondering myself what happened to the “ R”.

[@sarahgirlsoaps]

I came here to find this answer.

[@Dreamgirlair]

I loveeee this episode so much!! It was not long enough 😩 we need a part 2!! This couple reminds me of what I pray for to build wealth through real estate with my hubby and honor God through our marriage. Pleaseee bring them back!!!

[@JayonR]

Part 2 is not a want but a need! we NEED it!

[@AmarisLW]

EXACTLY!!!!!!! 😩

[@feliceoliviablack]

You’d be surprised how much men aren’t a safe space for women to talk to either and they can/will constantly bring up things that you’ve shared with them in confidence when things aren’t going so well..

[@MyVlogTherapy]

This isn’t talked about enough.✨ Women are called on to be the safe space, but they don’t have one to rest in that’s reciprocated.

[@DamineThorpe-ub4np]

Ultimately I think people are realizing that man or woman we both feel… simply put… once everyone understands that your feelings don’t mean more than the next then success happens

[@MyVlogTherapy]

@@DamineThorpe-ub4np agreed. All people have needs and feelings that need a safe space to belong. Everyone’s struggle is important

[@HarmonyandHope7]

So true!!!!

[@lexviaortiz9342]

This has been by far the BEST episode yet… this couple right here…. This woman of God full of wisdom & grace. 🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@JayonR]

Must agree, loved this couple.

[@maryarmstrong615]

Yes! She brought the 🔥🔥🔥

[@Shi_SAS]

Wow! I love how Jen affirmed the woman who felt she wasn't doing enough visible work as a Pastor's wife. I think over the last few decades feminism has led to some polarization among women. The homemaker might be denigrated, the professional woman may be called masculine or unfeminine. But from this show I learnt that it's ok to be who you are, bring your gifts to the world. You'll find your compatible mate.

[@nenajay3174]

Great example of marriage. All that they said was common knowledge in my opinion BUT I think a lot of people today are missing important fundamentals. Two very important factors in love are chemistry and actually caring about your significant other. Too many people approach relationships with only thinking about what they themselves are want, never considering the thoughts and feelings, needs and desires of their partner. When you truly live someone, you care for them as much as you do yourself.

[@richardbwaja301]

Preaaaacchhh!!🔥❤️

[@marriedblackman11415]

Finally, a balanced, contextualized view of marriage where there is a partnership in covenant in all respects. Thank you for this!

[@elainebuchananart4757]

This couple do lovely, you can just feel they are genuine, Jen had a beautiful spirit 👌🏾

[@coachsusy]

This is such a beautiful couple, they have inspired me and reminded me that I do not want to settle for just any man/relationship. I want something like this, a healthy, godly centered and continually growing together relationship.

[@kendrawinchester3704]

Meeeeee toooooo lol I would love to find someone who is on the same page❤

[@Jovialjay86]

I love them. Thanks for introducing me to this wise, beautiful couple.

[@thewildwooddream7220]

The warmth I feel in my heart just by listening to these couple, as if they were the trusted uncle and aunt I feel I've always needed in my life, makes me understand better what kind of beautiful and healthy inter-dipendent partnership I want to help build.... and that I am ready! ❤ Tthank you!

[@nitaheart1]

I love that they are so DC, it was the “Steak and Cheese” and “Kirk off” ! I love that they love the Lord and speaks so freely about God. Great conversation points to bring up in my relationship. They are very inspirational and genuine. Great episode!

[@MyVlogTherapy]

“It takes maturity to be married. Maturity keeps you from being selfish, from not talking about things, avoiding things or not taking accountability.” When your not mature you hide out and don’t communicate. Acronym: CHRIST

[@familylifestyle20]

I love this couple. When I look at them, I see my future husband and I. Thank you for sharing

[@lorinakers7934]

I love the retreat to reconnect and align goals! Amen!

[@BeautifulXOXO6]

Men also have to be a safe space! Once that line is crossed and things get out of the relationship, it’s hard to come back from that.

[@LoraleiBayette]

I’m loving all of these episodes. Not everyone has a reference for what is healthy & successful. Thank you bringing these to the community.

[@user-fq8yk6mr6h]

Man…I swear I'm look at my self and my husbands story!! This how we are with each other!!. I was so excite to see them!!!!😊😊😊😊 Often we didn't see the cupples do these things. It's crazy cause our anniversary is New Year’s!! I can't wait to show my hubby this!!! We have yearly blue prints weekly meeting to unsure we are staying organized and on task with our goals/dreams.

[@carolynlong8701]

Amen sis you have to choose to love your spouse ❤and some days 🤦🏽‍♀️🧐😳Lord have mercy 🙏🏾

[@JJ-jn7ei]

Spoken like a true wife 😂😂😂😂😂

[@angelhampton4365]

15yrs here Sis and Mannnnn😂

[@carolynlong8701]

@@angelhampton4365 😂36 years

[@Carlotta_DaughterofTMh]

Mannnn listen I threw my phone when she said that…cause I be wrestling some days 😂

[@cocoblessings]

Soooooo true! Lol!

[@wandamoore9582]

This was an excellent episode!🔥🔥 I just loved this couple and how the work together as a team! Thanks so much for having such quality guests on your podcast!🎊🎊

[@zackeryjasmine]

I think this was so wonderful. I don't, however, share the belief that a man needs a wife to live out his purpose and or fullest potential. Although I do agree that with a "helper" (wife), a man can do greater things than alone, it's not solely the way. I'm reminded of Elisha who got a double portion if Elijah's spirit to do greater things. I believe we all need the Lord and he's full of whatever we lack. Period. As honorable marriage is between man and wife in the sight of God, Not every one is called to it. Paul even teaches that sometimes when married, you may be hindered from doing a kit if things (concerning the Lord's work at least) because you have someone else to consider in your decision-making. Nevertheless, God will complete the work that he began in you and that isn't dependent upon having a "helper" other than the Holy Spirit. and ppl God sends your way.

[@estherphillip]

I agree with ur comment but I just want to add that both men (Sons of GOD) and women (daughters of GOD) whom GOD didn't called into marriage can't fully fulfilled their purpose without a relationship with GOD either, most men and women today believe that being high valued base on certain resources/position in society/material assets is fulfilling their purpose when it's not. Elisha got a double potion of an anointing that was already reserved for him, he didn't get Elijah anointing because if he did he wouldn't be able to fulfill HIS purpose since these are two different men with different characters and personalities., also Elisha couldn't overcome Jezebel if he had Elijah anointing, he would of run away just as Elijah did....but Elisha needed Elijah (who was like a HELPER to help him build what was already in him, to help him understand what he have in him and how to manifest it for the Glort of GOD) In Ecclesiastes (can't remember the chapter) but it also said 2 is better than 1 cause the reward is greater...so even tho not all are called to marriage, we still need a certain friend, family whom GOD ordained to help us in fulfilling our purpose...we all need a HELPER.

[@kodafynest]

He doesn't NEED it, but by the grace of God, 2 is always better than 1.

[@aysmith761]

Thank you for not using the usual opening to the podcast. I typically don't watch because of the opening remarks or signature. Thank you for respecting the Pastors and the audience by not using profanity and providing a great interview.

[@shuntarenee3594]

Thank you for being sooo respectful they definitely dropped slot of wisdom and hope for me that 2nd marriages godly foundation is POSSIBLE!!!!🙏🏽💃🏽🙏🏽

[@ashtonjmonroe6030]

I love her...... bring more like her. We need a round table with her and Shirley.

[@marjoryn68]

One of my favorite episodes. Such a God-fearing couple. Thank you for all the dope gems you shared with us. Shalom

[@j.o.y_aliba]

He found Jesus and He gave him Jen… they are so awesome!!

[@jazz4363]

I love this segment. I feel there is no such thing as a helpmate. I believe it’s two people coming together to help each other be better. Helping each other to be emotionally connected to each other and among other things. But that’s my opinion.

[@arandaholley1719]

You just defined it. Both people are helpmates.

[@KalimahSBICeo]

Match made from heaven ❤

[@beautifullyblessedpatricia9498]

I really really love this couple and this topic❤. I was married for 14 years, I'm divorced for almost that many years or more and my desire is for God to send me my mate that is designed for me the second time around 🙏🏽!!! This couple and their wisdom and relationship with God and each other is beautiful and exactly what I'm praying for. I love the realness and the authentic essence of the both of them .. Thank you guys for having them on!! I learned so much❤️🙌🏾🙏🏽!!!!

[@NavigatingSinglehood]

This couple is amazing, powerful

[@meenameena-dd2zy]

So many precious nuggets were shared within this podcast. This was another home run guys. One nugget in particular that i will always remember is, having a retreat at the end of every year. Be it extravagant or low budget, thus couple was able to assess themselves on an annual basis I call that phenomenal. Another phenomenal nugget that I gleaned was their ability to attainin wealth through real estate investment. I will certainly sign up for their next workshop or Master Class. This was an awesome episode guys. Thank you so much once again.

[@user-dy6zf7ol7o]

bunch of unresolved cases 😅🤣 I love yall show and i keep sending them to my partner hoping he will catch on

[@Floridahomematchmaker]

Great convo, best episode to date! CHRIST did anyone get what R stands for?

[@TriniWmn]

I thought I was the only one. I'm trying to take notes and missed the "R" . . . Commitment, Communication; Help, Honor; Improvement, Intimacy; Support, Selflessness; Teamwork, Time = C-H-I-S-T 😢 what did I miss?

[@asha4189]

I thought I missed it too, but I don’t think it was mentioned. I labeled R for mostly as respect and reciprocity

[@mayanatjz4409]

Respect and Romance… They skipped it… Someone in comments found them on their own page😉

[@tctback]

I would love to run my own hotel and buy my own eventually! I am very interested in what they know about it. I already make lots of money for a company. I want to welcome people home with my brand.

[@keys8885]

That is such a great acronym 🔥🔥🔥

[@pamelarichards464]

May God continue to Bless the two of you Exceedingly and Abundantly Above all you can ask, think or imagine. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing the wisdom you two shared. Another Great show guys ❤

[@nicolefelton6324]

Life is Practice not Perfection! Just like marriage and other relationships! We’re all just Practicing!!!

[@Cymplicity-yd2lo]

I just love the way people convolute God's Word and commands with their own understanding. God said marriage is a vow which is a promise to Him moreso than the other person. He warns about that. He Never said know who you are first. He never meant for us to get married at an older age. We find every excuse to justify divorce when it's not in the Word of God. It was not sexual immorality. I could really respect people better if they said I disobeyed God's Word, had to repent, understand it broke covenant and just leave it there INSTEAD OF JUSTIFYING. SMH

[@JacklonSpencer]

Congratulations..... All. Praises to the. Most. High.... Amazing! Ephesians 2:10....

[@irisv84]

Excellent advices!!! Thanks for sharing !!! There is hope in love, emotional intelligence, discipline, communication and team work!💡❤💪

[@carolynlong8701]

Great conversation with this couple ❤👏🏾👏🏾💯

[@JacklonSpencer]

Jeremiah 29:11... Proverbs .31....

[@angiewilshire8485]

Beautiful conversation! Thanks!!

[@Dee-jk8ty]

What was the “R”

[@jenniferlouis677]

Never heard R

[@RConnelly]

😩

[@Shanice___Loves]

Respect

[@SoldbySharone]

@@Shanice___Loves Yes....Respect is a good one... I tell my husband "Respect" is my Love Language

[@v_p_low2373]

Respect and Romance

[@mistymojones9280]

one of my favorite interviews to date!! so many gems I took notes!

[@LegendaryRob]

Yeah, this was a good one.

[@bubbalive3277]

JUST wanted to say I love the content being put out. Keep up the good work.

[@candacesmith5572]

This is great studying someone who is a true partner.🎉

[@angelhampton4365]

Genesis 3:16 says “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” With that i take were actually equal but the first sin made us earn it rather than just have its blessings... God made women FOR man however Men have the responsibility of catering to the Earth and Us because we're only great together

[@Seilarine]

Serious observation!!! Is it me or does it seem like you have to be divorce and in your second marriage (serious relationship) to find lasting honorable healthy marriage more often than not? Tell me that I am not the only one who notices this pattern. All the mature coupled have been divorced before. 😮😢

[@sedoniaandrew]

It appears that way because it’s easier to divorce instead of sitting in and being uncomfortable to allow God to heal your marriage. By working it out together you will learn, grow and reach these same blessings as those couples who have divorced, worked on themselves, grow in Gods word and heal. There’s many successful couples who can testify that they decided to stay together and put in the work and are now living in their purpose as a married couple.

[@Seilarine]

@sedoniaandrew I would love to hear more from some of those couples because it seems like most who marry in their 20s indicate that they did not attain a certain lilevel of maturity enough to really work though their marriages or themselves enough before both partners got frustrated beyond repair. It's often when they divorce, get older, become reflective and take accountability that a level of self growth occurs and they then learn to "work" on their second marriage. I am currently pending divorce after 18 yrs of marriage..I tried hard but a lot of issues over time makes moving forward challenging (even if we both witness some self growth in each other, we have also somehow grown weary).

[@sedoniaandrew]

@@Seilarine have each of you tried counseling. I have several friends who stood the course. It takes both of you to want to put in the work

[@Seilarine]

@sedoniaandrew oh yeah. Together as well as having our own individual therapist.

[@yvettebryant2531]

I’ve been divorced, and you learn from your mistakes, and when you hopefully you grow, and so when you do it again, you’re better at it and you’re selfless. And having the example from Jehovah God teaches us to love.

[@JacklonSpencer]

All. Praises ....❤

[@plaitmaster8769]

Such a Beautiful Couple ❤❤

[@CatchchaRegime]

What a great gift idea

[@keshiajames5359]

Love this program

[@HardlyInitiated]

We appreciate you, Keshia! 💪

[@veronicakimble6561]

I extremely enjoyed this show.

[@DunnessaAlston]

The couple seen be in tune with each other beautiful people tean work is where at 💯

[@Francie315]

Incredible power couple!

[@breonaharrison732]

I love this content it is Amazing!!! To GOD be the glory!!!

[@dianebrown3220]

This was a blessing ❤

[@JacklonSpencer]

Our. SAVIOR.....❤

[@venitajackson1274]

The are great!

[@yannnick1]

Great video

[@JayonR]

Loved this episode so much, thank you guys for sharing. ❤️ Watched this on my livestream and my viewers absolutely love the topics you guys discussed, hoping to see more.

[@HardlyInitiated]

That’s dooope💪🏾💪🏾

[@estherphillip]

im 15mins in and i love love this couple...i love the acronym C.H.R.I.S.T, love its and i will use it when im married and with myself now....but im already enjoying listening to them especially the wife, beautiful couple tho...well matched

[@ArtLee68]

What was the R?

[@estherphillip]

@@ArtLee68 Respect (if I'm not mistaken).

[@SoldbySharone]

@@ArtLee68 I missed the "R" too

[@ArtLee68]

@@SoldbySharone It was respect

[@andrescott4920]

Love this episode!

[@marriedblackman11415]

Business is not a "masculine" endeavor. There are plenty of women who are "feminine" in the corporate environment and "feminine" at home. I don't become "feminine" when I nurture my four kids when my wife is out of town; I"m a dude who is loving my kids. I'm not engaging in the same way my wife engages, because I'm not a woman, but my kids still feel loved and nurtured. Similarly, women can be feminine and successful in business. We need to get rid of this falsehood that corporate/business requires "masculine" energy and caretaking/nurturing requires "feminine" energy. It's 2023 and we have to appreciate that we hold the keys to our freedom from this super rigid (and often unhelpful) line of thinking.

[@JacklonSpencer]

CHRIST ....❤

[@WigginsResearch]

This is an amazing interview

[@chloelageaux769]

Wonderful episode!!!

[@Monique0108]

❤ beautiful msg.

[@HardlyInitiated]

Thanks for listening

[@JacklonSpencer]

Amen.....❤

[@sherylhokianga3]

My Hubby Wants 2 Sell Our House Now At 74yrs Old! ..I DONT WANT 2 SELL IT!!!….I Want 2 Keep The House 4 Our Grandchildren!..BCoz, It’s Gunna Be More Difficult For Them 2 Buy Shelter In The Future!..By The Way!.I’m In NQLD( Auzzie)Awesome Conversation!….Blessings 2 U All!

[@peggygarcia1131]

34:15

[@nicolefelton6324]

Some religions don’t date…they choose a wife or wives and care for them…..A lot of them last forever.

[@her8923]

However not all are called to marry or bear children..scriptural

[@crystalcollier6398]

Do you apply that level of help before or after the marriage?

[@EquippingBroadcast]

Lord send my rib nowwwwwwww.

[@EquippingBroadcast]

God brought Eve to Adam in his assigned work place. I got it

[@karettalee5710]

What is the R in the acronym

[@lorinakers7934]

Please don't weaponize what's shared🙏🏾🙏🏾🙋🏾‍♂️

[@DelSunflower33]

Yeah I did not jump in he was looking for the guidance of every women that met his eyes

[@janeynget3059]

What is the C for the acronym in CHRIST?

[@blaquepearlent6015]

CSI pi lawyer are all natural skills for women

[@carleneadams954]

The Bible does not say apple, it says fruit. Genesis 3:2,3. 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

[@maryarmstrong615]

That is true. The image of an Apple came about from needing a picture 2 illustrate the fruit in books. The way the fruit has been described from revelation is a round shape reddish in color piece of fruit only known in Heaven (Eden). It just became common over the years that “Apple” got used interchangeably as the fruit/food eaten.

[@janeafire]

Wait, what did "R" start with?

[@MissAnnaDominique]

No judgment but hearing the guys joke about being successful with out a wife or side chicks is todays problem. Some men see success as a tool to gain access to multiple women, and not success as God sees it, meaning godly contentment, family, purpose, faithfulness to one woman & servitude to their community with her. (The difference between a powerful man and a power seeking man.)

[@czhanell]

Did someone catch what the “R” stands for in the CHRIST acronym?

[@niadaqueen3988]

Nope - I’ve been waiting for R too 😂

[@dpharrison7]

Me too, looking through the comments for ot 😂

[@dpharrison7]

Respect

[@v_p_low2373]

Respect and Romance

[@blaquepearlent6015]

Helpmate is not the dirty word…it’s submissive that’s dirty…but with maturity and being with a mature mate you learn that the word is beautiful

[@Cymplicity-yd2lo]

Submissive is not dirty unless misused...Helpmate can be dirty if misused.

[@blaquepearlent6015]

@@Cymplicity-yd2lo correct we are saying the same thing…misuse/ misunderstood. I was speaking in a general sense…I was saying the same thing that they said on the video which is most people use it wrong and most people were using submissive wrong and that’s how it became a dirty word to the masses, I never heard helpmate be used as much as submissive…but I know for a fact when you say submissive to women, we would get stiff and question the definition… that’s why I also put in there but when you get Mature and you learn….you learned it is a beautiful word, so yes, we are saying the same thing

[@blaquepearlent6015]

@@Cymplicity-yd2lo my last line is important/the key factor…maturity turns the words into beauty…Whats maturity(maturity comes with time…living…experiencing…when I was a child I thought as a child….when I was taught wrong or learned wrong I thought wrong ….BUT MATURITY STEPPED IN AND NOW I THINK WITH KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING

[@Cymplicity-yd2lo]

@@blaquepearlent6015 I understand. So many feminist are having fits over Helpmate.

[@dpharrison7]

Right, you submit to one another but that takes maturity

[@UndercoverDlight]

Did I miss the R in Christ??

[@jasminejanise]

Satan hates us because we can incubate multiply.

[@Cymplicity-yd2lo]

I just love the way people convolute God's Word and commands with their own understanding. God said marriage is a vow which is a promise to Him moreso than the other person. He warns about that. He Never said know who you are first. He never meant for us to get married at an older age. We find every excuse to justify divorce when it's not in the Word of God. It was not sexual immorality. I could really respect people better if they said I disobeyed God's Word, had to repent, understand it broke covenant and just leave it there INSTEAD OF JUSTIFYING. SMH

[@Foodphillic]

Check the Old Testament for those whose age at marriage were listed to find out how old they were. The men were often in their 30s+. Isaac was 40 when he married Rebekah. Jacob was 77 when he met Rachel. It is not really about a specific age but maturity and vision is essential for marriage. People usually are older when they gain an understanding of who they are, what their purpose is and what they need in a life partner besides the superficial stuff.

[@JacklonSpencer]

Awwwwwww.... Go get. Your. Wifey... Fellas.... Y'all. Can. Do. It.... Believe.... Want. It.... Accomplish. It... Holy. Matrimony....

[@maryarmstrong615]

Bring back repeat guests like this! 90 minute shows at least… 2 hours even better is a goal People travel catching planes & move around schedules 2 appear on ur show & ur trying 2 condense it all in under an hour. This is a dialogue, not a monologue. We tuning in 2 hear the full extent of it

[@brav0b]

Beta platform... Truth will help more..

[@JustAGalAndHerDog]

Put CHRIST in the middle of the relationship COMMUNICATION - (developed along the way, let it out/unpack it - wives be a safe place for our husbands to land) HELP & HONOR - woman carry out her God given powerful role, man honor (stand by) his wife RESPECT INTIMACY (weekly family night and dedicated weekly spouse night) SUPPORT (strength and power to work jointly than individually. God created a helper for the man. A man NEEDS a woman). TIME (give each other time to reflect & grow)

[@JustAGalAndHerDog]

BESIDE every successful man is a strong woman (God took the rib out of Adam’s side)

[@deewturner7501]

Great biblical info🤎🤎🤎🤎 Didn't hear the "R" below in comments stated was found on their YT pg.