the internet's obsession with aesthetics - has it gone too far?

[@gabagoolgurl]

Honestly I don't really care about what people wear or identify as, I just feel bad for these teens who feel so pressured to be perfect and brand themselves. That must be exhausting. As a teen I already felt out of place and social media wasn't what it is today, so I can't imagine how it would feel to be a loner in this day and age.

[@sahana8748]

Yes! You literally just put everything I wanted to say better than I could!

[@yuwaii9282]

Agree! I think the main issue is the pressure of having a 'clean aesthetic' so e.g. only dark academia and everything in your life has to be dark academia. Nobody will ever achieve that, resulting in frustration, but social media makes one believe that a 'clean aesthetic' is possible since it's super easy to make your feed look coherent with filters and just generally only showing snippets of your life or just posting random photos which aren't even yours

[@joybird144]

I just wish we could go back to when the word “aesthetic” barely even existed to most. Online has started to feel more and more like “online” nowadays. Miss when nobody cared and just posted for fun as themselves not a character with titles.

[@kalebrosetaylor]

Naw too many people are over-saturating communities by posing and pretending. A long time ago being alternative meant something, now everyone is alternative. It’s really taken the fun of being who I’ve always been completely out and it’s annoying.

[@KazraptorE]

i get asked what kind of alt i am- my answer is "idk man, autistic 4 year old left alone in a circus."

[@mykelporter2977]

I was a mall metal teen in the 90's. My identity was very tied into my appearance and group trends. Now I have a teen daughter, I don't want her to feel like she has to be a (whatever) to wear (whatever) She should be able to express herself through trends and art without being involved in some scene. Being able to change identities so easily is very freeing. I think it is good to have pressure from people to drive things forward but, i also think it's important to develop an attitude of not caring what other people think about your appearance. I think cosplay for the younger generation may help them to be more fluid and not restrict themselves with terms like poser.

[@Hikarihoratio]

with the rise of prices in thrift shops , sometimes its cheaper to get fast fashion . sometimes the only thrift shops around you are overpriced so punks have to shop with amazon, temu and shein

[@LitaSixx]

I'm old (33) and back in the day mall goths were kids not really into the goth subculture, they were actually aesthethics only so this is fun, lol, they were the kids who wore those big ass pants, spiky hair (spiky updos with a claw clip for girls), colored hair and listened to papa roach and coal chamber, nothing wrong with that so I guess the mall goth revival is true to their origins lol

[@posergrave]

totallyyyy haha! and 33 ain't old!

[@kris.jw.]

I def agree, part of me feels the need to defend subcultures (and some aesthetics) to the death but tbh life is too fucking short to pop a vein over what other ppl are wearing and posting so in conclusion just at least know what the style you're emulating is lol

[@eunicee999]

Agreed. Just. At least. For the life of me. Do a Google search on what you’re trying to be and identify with.

[@iCeleste7]

I don’t think the aesthetic has to be necessarily “lived out.” We’re all just following trends and everyone buys their clothes from the same few places. Unless you sew or make your own clothes, who is really “original?” You can like things like cottagecore and just enjoy the lifestyle of what it represents OR know nothing about the culture and just wear the clothes. I agree how you said you’re glad you’re not growing up as a teenager today. I feel kind of bad for them. How confusing and what pressure they must feel growing up in TikTok world.

[@ratlady10101]

Not gonna lie unless it's rich people going to thrift stores for the aesthetic of shopping second hand then I don't care what aesthetic you have or how legitimate it is. Let people do what they want. It's so gatekeepy to question the validity of why people enjoy the style and aesthetic that they do. None of us asked to be here or be in the situation that we're in and our life situations don't always match up with who we are and how we want to be perceived by the world. It also feels very not punk like to give a fuck about what people wear or what they're interested in. Like live your life and worry about yourself.

[@tinnedteainsyrup8943]

Punk are values, freedom, anti fascism and anti cop! Punk is not a clothing aesthetic, though some types of clothing are obviously more popular in the community, it's all about freedom.

[@lillysmith424]

I’m all for people looking however they want, it’s just like I wish as a society as a whole we weren’t as isolated and were able to just create community and subculture , wherever that may be

[@eder7468]

Another "asthetic" that fell into popularity is "workwear", a subgenre that uses used work jackets as a aesthetic to seem like you work hard and live the lifestyle of a blue collared worker, which most people don't, since most people who buy these jackets tend to pair them up with $200-500 shoes. 4 years ago you couldn't get goodwill to sell them and now beat up carharrts and Levi's with oil stains, sweat, paint, rips, and dye fade going for $40 up to $200 each on sites like ebay.

[@posergrave]

I was not aware of this. that's insane and sounds very damaging to those who actually require those clothes

[@carolinetaylor3069]

omg i agree so much with everything that you and other people are saying about this (to clarify, i agree with how people will dress a certain way but don't actually do the stuff associated with that aesthetic). i also feel like there's a lot of emphasis on choosing "one" aesthetic. i really like the grunge style, but i also love pastels and brighter colors, and several other "aesthetics" and i'm indecisive and don't want to choose just one. also i love your hair

[@posergrave]

I definitely have issues choosing one aesthetic to stick to as well! And thank you!

[@theresahe4181]

in my highschool i met someone who was a cosplayer influencer on tiktok and they had over 200k followers. I am absolutely projecting but I feel like the reason why teenagers feel the need to stick to a brand is because they fantasize about one day becoming an influencer. the influencer i met in my school was younger than me and about 15 - 16. if THEY could develop a following then, why can't i? especially if you're someone like me, who had a normal interaction with someone you didn't know was an influencer and then find out they are, the idea of being able to "make it" seems more attainable. social media is the largest peer group in the world so to a teenager, being admired by hundreds of thousands of your peers is literally the ultimate fantasy. back then teenager influencers were people born to high profile families (paris hilton) or were pop stars themselves, but now it literally can be the person sitting next to you in study hall. it honestly makes me feel sick. not because social media is toxic, because it makes me feel incrediblely lonely. i've graduated highschool and i live in a unwalkable suburb. my plans with friends and dates have to be carefully planned out with my mom since i can't drive yet. if i could have constant interaction on social media, thousands of people telling how pretty, talented, and smart i am. i'd give up and arm for that.

[@posergrave]

very well said, i think ur 100% right, and many people share this feeling. it IS really sad. And I think it goes beyond the teenage years too, but, I cannot CANNOT imagine being in a high school environment where ur peers are influencers

[@theresahe4181]

@@posergrave i actually have been harassed online by ex friends where they made videos making fun of me and one of the people making these videos had 40k followers and that was used against me to basically imply that because they had way more followers than me, they were better than me.

[@posergrave]

@@theresahe4181 that's AWFUL holy crap so toxic of them, I'm so sorry! literally high school drama is bad enough, I can't with the added social media bs

[@thissettlefashion]

I too am of the mindset that people should feel free to wear or express themselves in whatever way they want to regardless of their other interests (hobbies, music, books, entertainment, etc). I’d wonder if the questioning of it all probably comes from a concern or frustration that “style” use to be an indicator that you may meet like minded people you could relate to, or at least that it would put you on a closer path to finding those people. Perhaps now it seems less likely because different subcultures “styles” are more popular, and pair that with the pressures of social media it probably feels harder to find like minded people and now what was once a visual indicator is harder to understand? But, even back in mid 2000s those seemingly “more authentic“(as the post author seems to think) were relative. That feeling of finding your people was a struggle then too, I think we just see differences on a bigger scale with social media and there is this elusive drive to find what is “authentic” but it’s fleeting and relative because it’s all through lenses dictated by these platforms. I can understand and get the old-school-little-punk-kid attitude of gatekeeping people with “poser” is hard to shake, let’s not go back there!! I personally wonder if all this concern for “authenticity” and withholding of it is misplaced grievances with social media and the effects it has on self worth and importance and is just aimed at people instead of holding companies accountable. In short, people having the freedom to be fluid with their style can make others question their firmly held identities. Identities they tied to looks and appearances. Sadly, it’s easier for some to get mad at the people in the room-than-to just question the control the room has on you. (I hope I made sense, all this feels too easy to get wrong when your not face to face with people to talk about these topic. Also I wrote A LOT, didn’t realize that till now, sorry.

[@posergrave]

no worries, I absolutely get what you're saying. and totally agree. It is easier for us to point the finger at each other than to question big brands and stuff.. good point

[@silh3345]

My biggest issue has more to do with the naming of these aesthetics rather than the actual existence of them. For the sake of this rant I’ll use the word historic for lack of a better word to describe styles that predate the era of internet aesthetics as we know them today. I totally see the positives of following aesthetics and I think everyone should be able to wear what they want. Where I have issues with aesthetics as someone who likes fashion history, especially newer fashion history from around the 60s and onward is how so many of the current aesthetic names are taken from pre-existing styles and subcultures. If I want outfit inspiration from a specific era I can no longer google or go on places like Pinterest to find inspiration for that historic style because all I’ll find is new trendy versions of the style I’m looking for that often times barely even resembles the style it’s taking it’s name from. During spring this year I was trying to look for photos of hippie fashion, but I barely found anything that wasn’t some modernized take on the style. If you search for things like goth, grunge, punk or emo for example you’ll most likely see some variations of e-girl outfits, but labeled as one of these historic styles. This takes me into my next point, many of these styles are tied to specific sub cultures with their own set of “rules” if you will, many of which are all about second hand, thrifting, diy, individuality, anti big corporations, anti trends kind of. Today a lot of the people labeling themselves as these aesthetics go completely against these morals, getting their clothes from big chain stores like H&M, brandy Melville, forever 21 and SHEIN and they turn these formerly unique niche subcultures into trendy copy paste outfits. I don’t like being that person who goes around gatekeeping things, but part of me feels like I have to in order to keep these historical styles alive and not have them erased or changed into something they’re not. I would love to see people truly embrace these historical styles and subcultures if they do it correctly and keep some of the core values and in mind while shopping for pieces for these aesthetics and actually try to make the outfits resemble the actual historical style. I also think people should be free to take inspiration from these historical styles all they want. However if you’re going to blend historical pieces into a trendy outfit or water down historical styles into a modernized style where it no longer bares much resemblance to the original style then I think they should be named something else rather than labeled as a historical style when it no longer looks like or follows the same morals as the style it’s named after. How hard can it be to come up with a new name for an aesthetic rather than taking a name from a pre-existing style?

[@posergrave]

great points I totally agree, A++ essay

[@roygbiv9769]

Me niece is a teen so Through her life I can see that going to the mall fridays after school and some Saturdays is still definitely a thing at least in the city we live in. I feel like it’s more teens and young adults that are interested in aesthetics and in their cases I completely understand if they aren’t knowledgeable in growing plants or have a huge book collection because they may not be able to fund these interest (much like you said ) so I wouldn’t consider them posers. I remember growing up and trying to be every ounce of scene Kid I could be but as I got older I found my happy medium and I think most people find that too. What I love about teenagers now a days is that they judge each other a lot less than teens in my time. We used words like posers to put others down and try and validate ourselves in the process and honestly I’m glad that mean girl energy is dying away. We each perceive aesthetics in our own way so whose to say one’s rendition is considered poser or not anyways. Live and let live ✨

[@posergrave]

that makes me happy that teens still hang at the mall- the mall that used to be the It Place in my hometown is now looking like a ghost town. I'm glad that kids judge each other less, too! I do remember tons of judgment when I was growing up as well

[@jamille101]

I definitely understand the persons perspective on what theyre saying. But for me when it comes to the original post it just sounds like someone is upset about people they never met before. I understand we get a glimpse of what other peoples filtered lives look like through our phone screens in just a few seconds but we have to remember that we dont know their intentions behind those posts. Are they doing it for a brand? Or are they doing it to just do it because thats how you use instagram? Im on youre side. Its like you said just let people do what they want and maybe be a little appreciative that they felt like the alternative culture was the best one to fully be themselves

[@posergrave]

exactly what I was thinking- someone might appear to be a """"poser"""" but we have no idea what is actually going on in their head n we can't just assume

[@horrorghoul]

Spooky kids was a play on Marilyn Manson and The Spooky Kids (his band before he went solo). On a random note we used to call people who only dressed up on weekends at the goth club "weekenders".

[@posergrave]

i like this info

[@pippeace]

This was a lovely nuanced vid, open minded and willing to discuss ❤️

[@posergrave]

💖💖💖💖💖

[@tracksuitrob5348]

I think it’s not wearing whatever people want that’s hurting them. It’s trying to force themselves to fit into a category or a box and follow certain rules to feel like they are doing it right. Humans are complex. We’re not meant to be put into boxes.

[@CaseyBowman7]

no matter the box that is made, someone will be an exception to the box. boxes are unrealistic because the expectation for the box is that you stay within the confines, and humans are just too complex to make a box meant to fit a whole group of people. Most historical subcultures werent a set in stone list of rules and werent exactly fashion based, they were rather movements that were often musical or political and were meant to be inclusive to many types of people holding similar beliefs and interests

[@IceKateByMoonLight]

I like your opinions on that matter. It is something where you have to be understanding. Some people do stress over image too much. But someone that dresses in theatrics may have a deeper reason for it than just social media show.

[@Dano_116]

Am I seeing things or is that a skateboard necklace?

[@posergrave]

sure is

[@Dano_116]

@@posergrave it looks cool, it’s certainly not something you see everyday

[@imperfectworldimperfecthum5015]

Great video :) As I’ve been settling into the non binary/genderfluid parts of myself, I’ve been experimenting with styles (?) so this is interesting to think about.

[@posergrave]

totally! good to hear from u btw hope you're well!

[@imperfectworldimperfecthum5015]

@@posergrave Lol yeah, I’ve been a purely silent supporter of the channel for a bit. Grad school has been kicking my butt but I’m doing alright. Hope all’s well with you too :)

[@sta._rina]

perspective from a teenager: 1st off, me & my friends still go to the mall p often, its like a default bcuz someone will say in the gc "does anyone wanna go to the mall or smthn this week?" and im actually planning to hit up the mall with my mom this weekend because i need jeans from H&M (fast fashion and shien can go die in a fire but im not allowed to shop second hand and alot of ethical clothing is pricy and doesnt have basics n stuff so.... hello H&M concious collection :,)) idk if its the part of me currently binging all of 6teen talking but YES TO BRINGING BACK MALL/MALL GOTH CULTURE itd be so fun to see everyone just vibe at the mall again en masse from someone who's seen the rise of the aesthetics in their current iteration starting in like 2016, im lowkey kind of burnt out from it. in the beginning i identified with the kawaii aesthetic h e av i l y until shifting to where i am now which is a mess of gothic stuff, weirdcore, y2k/mcbling, creepy cute, ect ect. i legit cant narrow it down anymore (which i like bcuz im not tethered to one thing like u mentioned) so i just say im alt. tho i dont listen to music for religious reasons so i kind of have to embrace the poser label, & im still a kid so i cant rlly engage in a ton of alt irl communities outside of the internet. like u also mentioned i did the thing where i was interested in the aesthetic and then engaged in the culture. im busting my butt trying 2 make my own neocities website, i made a heyspace (myspace revival) account and made my profile cool, & im looking into buying a fliphone of some kind with gps and messaging apps bcuz haha clicky buttons and cool phone go wee alot of aesthetics i feel have been v ERY watered down. irl, people (ive been guilty of this too) call anything vaugely alt "emo" like as a joke but not as a joke (when we were doing our unit on gothic literature i heard secondhand that one kid said we were doing emo writing) and when my friend didnt feel like taking off their fishnets one day for PE (yoga) some boys were like "omg emo!! haha!!!" so... yeah. also irl in school theres rlly only a handful of people not wearing some variations of leggings sweatpants shorts hoodie shirt (and even i have my lazy days) & the trend cycle now with microtrends has been ridiculously shortened i cant deal. im so glad im off all socials except discord yt pinterest tho i might need to reevaluate HOW I use pinterest to give myself unnatainable standards on how my life should look and be 24/7 sorry this is rlly long and im sure some of this stuff ive said before in a comments section here but i got excited as i was watching this video and was like drafting it in my head BJSNjs tl;dr: cringe culture and shein = stinky poopy bad, mall and phone that flip = good /lh

[@posergrave]

thank u for sharing this was v interesting for me to read!!!! im dying at "we're doing emo writing"

[@LitaSixx]

Neocities, MySpace and flip phones? Omg those were the days 😭

[@sta._rina]

@@LitaSixx I wish i couldve experienced everything in its prime :,]

[@KissaLintu]

I really cringe at people calling mall goths as a “subculture”. It was a trend, it is different. In order to keep the name (sub) culture, it needs to be prolonged in time. Goths are goths their whole life. 80s goths are like 50 years old now, and they’re still part of the subculture. Some mall goths evolved into actual goths and now they are part of a real sub culture. Most of them grew out of that phase. They’re extinct.

[@KaiDecadence]

Not just that but"Mall goth" was an oxymoronic term to begin with and it wasn't used as a term of endearment, it was another word for poser. Back in the 90s when this trend started, many goths within the actual goth scene did not like "mall goths" (in other places it was called "mallcore") because not only did these people not listen to goth music, they were also doing stupid stunts like scaring kids and elderly people and claiming to be Satanists when they didn't know the first thing about Satanism (they would say Satanism is devil worship) and/or saying things like witchcraft was a part of satanism and that Marilyn Manson was the king of goth and so on. These people were loathed by actual goths back in the late 90s and into the early 2000s because of how they played a part in misappropriating goth. So to see these Gen Z kids missing the mark so much with "mall goth" and the reality of that term is just annoying to see. And you're right, the "mall goths" of the 90s and early 2000s either eventually became real goths when they finally got involved with the actual goth scene or they dropped the look and moved on to something else. They'll say that they went through a "goth phase" when really, they didn't, they went through an edgy phase lol.

[@Sikosdiary]

Love your outfit 🖤

[@saegemehlfee]

lets bring back the era of going into a shop, seeing a pretty dress and buying it because its pretty without worrying about the aesthetic 🙃Also really cant see most actual academics or farmers giving a sh*t what teenagers are wearing (as some one who works with academics a lot), they are worried about their funding/work loads etc

[@danicatempleton6745]

Idk as someone who listens almost entirely to electronic music and likes dressing alt, it's really not in the cards for me to have one entire cohesive subculture, and I'm fine with that. I tend to approach every aspect of my life separately in that regard. I kind of feel like the pressure to take part in a lifestyle to dress a certain way has it's own problems. I think it's cool if there are cool ways to dress with no strings attached. Like yeah some people might call that materialistic, but there's also a certain need for beauty in the world too. That being said I also really have a hard time imagining someone who is in to the cottagecore look but isn't into some other lifestyle aspect; especially since that lifestyle can cover everything from gardening to baking to frolicking in a field.

[@graffiti9145]

Tiktok effect

[@DeadinsideCastlevania648]

Aesthetic has to do with beauty in something, that is the meaning of the word. But this is aesthetics too far. We've become obsessed with just the pretty sides and not the actions. I feel like we miss out a lot on with not doing the actions. There is beauty in reading, studying, farming, foraging, sewing, weaving. But Instagram demands perfection and clean looks.

[@eko9554]

I hate people who dickride that minimalism is bad. It’s an overhated aesthetic. Frugiter aero is overrated.

[@jade-lw2mw]