The Isle Of Nonces : The Pitcairn Scandal

[@CountDankula]

Get PIA VPN for less than $2 a month and 4 Extra Months for FREE, means only $1.98/Month and 85% off! www.privateinternetaccess.com/Dankula

[@ZemanTheMighty]

I don’t know if you mentioned it in this video, it hasn’t premiered yet, but if you haven’t seen the old reviews for the pizza place on this island you should definitely check them out. I’m not going to come to any conclusions but they are extremely weird and a little creepy. Must be that good old fashioned Pitcairn humour!

[@hugotheimpecileone]

no

[@andyfriederichsen]

No piss off.

[@Dafoodmaster]

dead pixel bottom left quarter of the screen dank

[@hashkangaroo]

Did that can of Raid stretch out your holes a bit too much, Dank?

[@LordSpleach]

Imagine if the Judges accepted the "We aren't an official British Colony" defense, and immediately brought them up on charges of mutiny and sentenced them to death by hanging.

[@minnesotanfreedomist3147]

That would be cool but what if they just allowed them to become independent but cut off all support and supplies. Give the new pitcrizhffhcians asylum in New Zealand then watch the fire burn.

[@crackedhelm4292]

Sounds like justice to me, but i am a little biased.

[@CidVeldoril]

Well, most countries that are not North Korea frown on the idea of charges passing from ancestor to descendant. So since it was the ancestors of the islanders who were guilty of mutiny, this would kinda be against international law. It would be extremely funny though if a judge had accepted the idea and then the government of NZ just closed the borders to the "totally real and independent nation of Pitcairne".

[@lornbaker1083]

That would have been truly incredible.

[@deadjuice3745]

That would be based

[@ToolsAreToys]

British police can solve noncery cases thousands of miles away from the UK, but just cannot seem to stop it from happening in it's own northern towns.

[@tavirosu25]

They only arrest them if they are white :)

[@garlicbreth3]

Looking racist is worse than the crimes committed to them.

[@liamcollinson5695]

I would love to say this wasn't true but it was only near the end of last year that I found out that pedos had been using the hotel around the corner from me and it was in the paper but barely anything happened

[@johnroyal4054]

The only comment that matters. Im sick of the r ape gangs. It's fucking disgusting that the police can just "lose" evidence on a ring of pedos and just get away with it.

[@adolfolerito6744]

Of course when those nonces happen to be a “diverse group” and (even worse) happen to “believe in Allah”, we all know that the British government, the British police and even a good side of the British people will literally PROTECT them and let them do whatever they want rather than giving a rat’s ass about the victims...

[@corous7880]

You could turn it into a prison island. The irony of Australians sending their criminals to a remote place somewhere far away would make it worth already

[@placeholdernameisplacehold7671]

They do have a prison on the island. However, the prisoners are on day release. Since, they are some of the only people who know how to work the docks in order to deliver food and medicine to the island.

[@MichaelVII_]

even funnier since a reason for people being sent to Australia was because they couldn't use the state of Georgia anymore XD

[@xxxBradTxxx]

They already do in Narua

[@privateinformation2960]

@@MichaelVII_ tfw people pay out on australia for being a prison colony for the british.... when the US was a prison colony for about 5 other nations....

[@privateinformation2960]

@@xxxBradTxxx no, theyre called illegal immigrants. and that would be NAURU.

[@burstingwizard975]

The most shocking thing about this is that the British police investigated and convicted a group of pedophile's. Man, I wish I'd bought a lottery ticket back then

[@louthinator]

they weren't muslims, that's why the police actually arrested them.

[@Damienn1776]

@@louthinator damn you right

[@dankinmcspankin3123]

BaSeD

[@YaBoiFetz]

Sorry, I'm not from GB. Is this an allusion to this fucked up grooming gang stuff like Rotherham?

[@marmite8959]

@@louthinator Don't kid yourselves, the pigs don't arrest pædos of any denomination. Not the real ones anyway. Maybe eventually public pressure forces them to lock up the really noteworthy ones *cough* Prince Andrew *cough* Epstein *cough* but most of them slip through the net. Look how long it took for Savile to get found out, covered up for decades until after his death and he was up to some HEINOUS shit.

[@ben31uk]

Is it parliament?

[@bigmikeobama5314]

thats the department of nonces, not the isle. then you have the office of nauncery which is the congress and senate in the us

[@jaspersazerac8119]

@@Valencetheshireman927 It's a joke.

[@Valencetheshireman927]

@@jaspersazerac8119 I thought it might have been ,but I was just making sure.

[@PoptartParasol]

Literally every elite institution is filled with them. That includes secret intelligence with the likes of the fbi, cia and their overseas equivalents.

[@benchmarkerlovesgaming140]

@@Valencetheshireman927 it's quite clearly a joke my friend!

[@Truffle_Pup]

The story of how Bligh made it to Singapore is to this day one of the most remarkable nautical feats ever achieved.

[@koreboredom4302]

Looks like Reddit Island's doing well for themselves.

[@Fandom_Junkie]

I'm surprised they didn't choose Pitcairn as the location for Crypto Land

[@HughWoo]

@@Fandom_Junkie Pitcairn was Epstein’s backup. Prince Andy most likely has visited.

[@davidsimcox3255]

Lol, this is where Jimmy Saville n 1/2 the BBC used to spend their vacations in the 80's lol

[@MrHeavy466]

Beat me to it

[@tony_5156]

Discord moderator island

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

There are many valid reasons for casting out the crown and tossing away British rule... "So we could practice nonsery" is not one of them.

[@corneliusmcmuffin3256]

Yeah but it'd be like the ISS declaring itself a sovereign nation. You can't sustain a population of over 50 people on an island that's about the size of San Marino... It would be better off as some billionaire's private island. Then again, there'd probably end up being just as much 'underage consensual sex' as before...

[@operationchariot1935]

I disagree. There are no valid reasons to toss away British rule

[@ThomasOwOD]

@@operationchariot1935 it's stressful to rule, you're constantly under harsh critique and you have to pressure one of your kids into ruling

[@kaminsod4077]

@Genu Crescit Imagine letting Yankees take up space in your head rent free lmao.

[@alexandrub8786]

Why not? That is what America did.

[@matthewmeehan9155]

Actually history shows that Bligh's punishments were more often verbal than physical. One of the real reasons behind the mutiny was class. Bligh was from a working class family, Fletcher Christian was from aristocracy and resented being ordered by someone he was as beneath him. The stories of Bligh's cruelties were exaggerated by mutineers in effort to save themselves when caught.

[@danielhatcher9840]

That and also because Bligh was the only actual officer on the ship. He didn't have any other officers and marines to back him up.

[@centristcommisar7828]

So Fletcher Christian was a useless, pampered manchild who had a problem with the meritocracy, and his rebellion could be summed up to "Rich Kid Throws Tantrum on Ship"?

[@getoffenit7827]

The crew mentality must be taken into account..every crewmember was a volunteer..a trait that set them apart from Royal Navy sailors and Civilian Sailors who had been coerced into the Merchant fleet. Bligh had sailed with Captain Cook on his world trip and so had many of the Bounty crew..that trip was the stuff of epic legends for sailors..and Cook along with Bligh were very well liked by the sailors..when another trip to the tropics was announced..sailors gleefully volunteered to go on the Bounty. With the idea that Bligh would behave as Cook did. Bligh...may have been light on corporal punishment..but he was heavy on his disrespect and personal attacks against his officers as well as individual crew...a no-no...captains do not engage in reprimanding the common sailors..that is delegated to the officers to handle....to Bligh no insult or degrading treatment was off limits...He wasnt dealing with a crew of Dogs..He was dealing with a crew of volunteers

[@eval_is_evil]

​​​@@getoffenit7827where did you get this info? The only problem was that Bligh didnt have a marines detachment on board because he was 'just' a leutenant,he wasnt a captain (rank). If he had marines ,discipline would have been maintained. This was a blunder from the get go, was high risk for this type of expedition.

[@LaughingMan44]

@@getoffenit7827 spotted the nonce

[@oldmanwinter3597]

"how could something this massive go on for so long"? I'm sure the British Police have many answers to this question.

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

🙈🙉🙊

[@lucascoval828]

@@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz Yeah. Unfortunately.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

"I have many satisfactory answers to that question, none of which I have the time nor disposition to discuss at the present moment"

[@jimmymac4559]

If only Britain would spend some time looking into the grooming gangs.

[@skinwalkers1516]

Can't, too afraid to be racist

[@logosfocus]

tommy did.⚖. ended up in hellmarsh with julian assange 🕳 _ free julian

[@v0dka885]

makes me not proud to be british, litrally makes me wanna start my own country

[@Squideny]

@@v0dka885 its why I always say im welsh instead of British

[@icewallowkum1566]

Big KZbinrs should start looking into their own .. Shaun Attwood is hiding in plain sight, only smaller channels covering his deeds. We need some of the big boys to cover it.

[@lmno567]

The funny thing is that, according to a completely different video, this island was a candidate for a half-baked project/idea called Reddit Island; an island by and for Redditors (yes, a plan doomed to fail). They planned on immigrating en masses to the island and outvoting the locals for control of the island. Needless to say, they didn't think the plan very well through due to the immigration scam the island had going and that it would still be under British law, not to mention the issue of getting to the island in the first place. This candidate island was dropped and the group was scammed out of their money on a different island candidate.

[@TexboyGamer]

I would love to see a reddit island, they’d starve to death in 2 months after all their body fat was gone

[@lionheart6176]

reddit not thinking things through?" thats unbelievable! theres no way that could happen! reddit is a website full of intellectualists sarcasm

[@long-hair-dont-care88.]

​@@TexboyGamerthey eat each other to stupid to eat pieces of themselves to last longer.

[@HeardItOnTheX]

So Reddit wanted to colonize a place where they can complain about colonialism on the internet. That'd be about right.

[@SatanLiterally]

The idea of Redditor Island is so funny to me, I'd happily contribute to a crowd funding campaign to buy them one just to see how quickly it fell apart.

[@myway59]

I liked the bit were you showed the child abuser with a black eye.

[@sku_rr1l932]

I liked the bit were you were insecure about hitting the submit button

[@myway59]

@@sku_rr1l932 I don’t know what this means.

[@sku_rr1l932]

@@myway59 you wouldn't get it

[@NostyFripples]

@@sku_rr1l932 ok were where & we’re

[@draque2089]

@@sku_rr1l932 nobody understands what you're saying.

[@Close.Quarters.Ramen.]

I fucking love how obvious he makes it that he hates doing advertisements, but he still does a great job on the pitches they give him. Do whatever you need to in order to keep making this content Dank, you're one of the good ones.

[@yeehaw3792]

Don't be cringe bro

[@richardmillhousenixon]

@@yeehaw3792 what

[@kakapomax]

No need to swear mate

[@hellishhybrid1839]

Raid: Shadow Legends may not be a great game, but they support a lot of creators that I like. So they get a thumbs up from me, even if I don't and won't play their mobile cash snatcher.

[@emperortrevornorton3119]

He has one of the quickest advertising readings I've heard it barely cuts into the video suggest the product say some good things and say were the link is into the meat of video

[@upthehoe]

It's a sad world when this kinda of shit is no longer suprising. Superb video Count!

[@astaven9439]

If you need help removing a landmass with such a cursed history, you try getting the US navy to help. The USS New Jersey has experience deleting mounds of dirt from the ocean surface.

[@internetzenmaster8952]

Ah yes, _nothing_ is more effective at the landscaping business than good old fashioned US battleships!

[@Dinitroflurbenzol]

@@internetzenmaster8952 any active SSNB

[@danielscott5160]

Actually, i'm more surprised the French didnt Nuke this place back in the 70's 80's, like every other Polynesian Island in the area.

[@themanformerlyknownascomme777]

Oh if only Vanguard was still active

[@ianthompson2802]

The admiral wouldn't want to ruin his next vacay spot

[@whatez9448]

We learned about this in History of Science, but the teacher didn’t know about the recent scandals. I told him and he thought it was interesting.

[@minnesotanfreedomist3147]

well he’s not wrong

[@xPadge112x]

Sooo it was a History lesson or a Science lesson? That turned into a nonce lesson? Was this a real teacher?

[@mikryan6567]

Biology lesson?

[@connorsanford7910]

Cool

[@snipes1000]

Hello I am faking a message now on a date

[@LtColShingSides]

"We've conducted our investigation and have concluded that we will sink the island. We will not be taking any questions. Thank you, and good night."

[@RedCruuve]

as I child I used to be obsessed with Pitcairn Island because it looke so cool and isolated and tight knit. Then I heard about the paedo scandal and the fact that because the population is so small almost all the inhabitants are inbred

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Well, whatever you'll do there, it always stays in the family.

[@thefool8224]

they managed to turn their family tree into a family circle

[@FireboltPrime]

Family braid more like it

[@MmeRougarou]

@@FireboltPrime 😆😆

[@GlareanLiebertine]

All the more reason to purge the island.

[@greekenderman2005]

I remember when I was like 5 years old and interested in geography i searched the population list of every country and I was always wondering why Pitcairn was that low. Thank god I didn't find out till today

[@sku_rr1l932]

I remember when you were 5 years old and you didn't give a shit about geography

[@viracocha6093]

@freakhelmz Kids are capable of having their own specific interests (except being raped in Pitcairn)

[@sku_rr1l932]

@@viracocha6093 back in the day, we had globes...ain't no pop or rape victims on those fuckers

[@NostyFripples]

@@sku_rr1l932 Funny that how on the bottom of every globe it says not for educational purposes. Yet it’s in every elementary classroom. Were we’re & where i don’t expect you to get it. 🙊🙉🙈🐒💩🌏💩 George Orwell on 🌏: “Does *NOT* rest on *REASONING* or on *EXPERIMENT* but on *AUTHORITY* “ ‘As I Please’ “SOMEWHERE or other-I think it is in the preface to Saint Joan-Bernard Shaw remarks that we are more gullible and superstitious today than we were in the Middle Ages, and as an example of modern credulity he cites the widespread belief that the earth is round. The average man, says Shaw, can advance not a single reason for thinking that the earth is round. He merely swallows this theory because there is something about it that appeals to the twentieth-century mentality. Now, Shaw is exaggerating, but there is something in what he says, and the question is worth following up, for the sake of the light it throws on modern knowledge. Just why do we believe that the earth is round? I am not speaking of the few thousand astronomers, geographers and so forth who could give ocular proof, or have a theoretical knowledge of the proof, but of the ordinary newspaper-reading citizen, such as you or me. As for the Flat Earth theory, I believe I could refute it. If you stand by the seashore on a clear day, you can see the masts and funnels of invisible ships passing along the horizons. This phenomenon can only be explained by assuming that the earth’s surface is curved. But it does not follow that the earth is spherical. Imagine another theory called the Oval Earth theory, which claims that the earth is shaped like an egg. What can I say against it? Against the Oval Earth man, the first card I can play is the analogy of the sun and moon. The Oval Earth man promptly answers that I don’t know, by my own observation, that those bodies are spherical. I only know that they are round, and they may perfectly well be flat discs. I have no answer to that one. Besides, he goes on, what reason have I for thinking that the earth must be the same shape as the sun and moon? I can’t answer that one either. My second card is the earth’s shadow: when cast on the moon during eclipses, it appears to be the shadow of a round object. But how do I know, demands the Oval Earth man, that eclipses of the moon are caused by the shadow of the earth? The answer is that I don’t know, but have taken this piece of information blindly from newspaper articles and science booklets. Defeated in the minor exchanges, I now play my queen of trumps: the opinion of the experts. The Astronomer Royal, who ought to know, tells me that the earth is round. The Oval Earth man covers the queen with his king. Have I tested the Astronomer Royal’s statement, and would I even know a way of testing it? Here I bring out my ace. Yes, I do know one test. The astronomers can foretell eclipses, and this suggests that their opinions about the solar system are pretty sound. I am therefore justified in accepting their say-so about the shape of the earth. If the Oval Earth man answers-what I believe is true-that the ancient Egyptians, who thought the sun goes round the earth, could also predict eclipses, then bang goes my ace. I have only one card left: navigation. People can sail ships round the world, and reach the places they aim at, by calculations which assume that the earth is spherical. I believe that finishes the Oval Earth man, though even then he may possibly have some kind of counter. It will be seen that my reasons for thinking that the earth is round are rather precarious ones. Yet this is an exceptionally elementary piece of information. On most other questions I should have to fall back on the expert much earlier, and would be less able to test his pronouncements. And much the greater part of our knowledge is at this level. It does not rest on reasoning or on experiment, but on authority. And how can it be otherwise, when the range of knowledge is so vast that the expert himself is an ignoramous as soon as he strays away from his own speciality? Most people, if asked to prove that the earth is round, would not even bother to produce the rather weak arguments I have outlined above. They would start off by saying that ’everyone knows’ the earth to be round, and if pressed further, would become angry. In a way Shaw is right. This is a credulous age, and the burden of knowledge which we now have to carry is partly responsible.”

[@jamesmccomb9525]

@@NostyFripples The psychiatric ward called, they want their strait jacket back.

[@nis5e]

Moral of the story: All it takes is one brave whistleblower to start saving the world.

[@scrappyanimations4096]

That's all you took away, huh?

[@74KU]

@@zogwort1522 Did we just watch the same video?

[@placebomandingo2095]

Are you a Catholic Priest or something? You sound resentful of whistleblowers.

[@judgedrekk2981]

meanwhile [blows a whistle] I've been blowing this whistle for 10 hours and I still don't feel like a hero....

[@iBloodxHunter]

​@@scrappyanimations4096Suggesting that's [all] they took away is being WAY too reductive. To you, I would bring up a mission in a videogame, Cyberpunk 2077. In this mission, a senator is contracting you to investigate the private security firm they hired because it seems like they're makinf themselves too comfortable. You find out the security firm is literally chemically altering the brains of the man and his wife and when you track them down, you're led to a dead end and the client has been completely brainwashed. You fail. The developers wanted to make a strong theme in that game the idea that the world moves without you, that you're a small fish in a big pond and that sometime's there's nothing you can do. I say fuck that, that's beyond pathetic. "They" live on the same planet as you. "They" didn't dematerialize into the 4thD, never to be found and they're not on Mars. There's ALWAYS something you can do. That's what the OP is saying.

[@odnamsrazor2364]

Bligh's open sea voyage was one of the greatest feats of navigating ever accomplished.

[@adamroodog1718]

i agree. he was still a dick though

[@AragornRespecter]

@@adamroodog1718 honestly there’s evidence to suggest he was one of the more lenient captains at the time.

[@odnamsrazor2364]

@@adamroodog1718 you're taking the word of mutineers and child rapists against a man who navigated 3000 miles of open ocean. . did he have the BEST interpersonal skills? probably not. a lot of geeks don't. . you might not have noticed that Captain Bligh's court martial not only exonerated him but wound up giving him a promotion.

[@winstonsmithsoul]

Still the record for surviving at sea.

[@adamroodog1718]

@@winstonsmithsoul i reckon shackelton from elephant island to south georgia would be regarded as the greater feat

[@PostalFerretWithRum]

"if your culture involves beasting we'ens then your culture is fucking shit" - Count Dankula 2022

[@lucascoval828]

Based.

[@wavell14]

@ing all the muslims in the uk there

[@LucasImpulse]

@@wavell14 that's a religion not a culture you clever guy

[@jamiestewart48]

I had to pause there, laughed so hard I started coughing up a lung.

[@LucasImpulse]

@St. Haborym oh sorry I forgot to make the baseless assumption there mate.

[@Fuchsstrot]

Today in my lectures about creole languages the professor started explaining the Norfolk Island creole, which is also spoken by the Pitcairnese. While he introduced the islands I couldn't resist snickering, as I remembered this video. He instantly knew why I was smiling and he said something along the lines of "Let's not mention that story". Apparently the language has some linguistic traits that come from Scots, since some original settlers were Scottish, such as plural pronouns. Anyway, interesting lecture, but it was awkard for me, because I couldn't stop thinking about the scandal and what he might have thought of me for knowing about it xD

[@stevencoffin328]

I am not Polynesian but I grew up in the Bay Area around plenty Polynesians and they all consider pedophilia to be wrong. So I don't think their defense of pedophilia being a "Polynesian tradition" to be true.

[@danhobart4009]

They've all been americansied. Go look up the uncensored accounts of what typical polynesian culture is complete with human sacrifices, cannibalism ect.

[@seand.g423]

Calling it "Polynesian" Made it sound more like "uh riot an propa defense in a pərfictly civil courtroom, eh whot?" Than a certain set of four letters between S and E... y'know... the six-letter word that everyone in a British _any-_ room _would_ have meant...

[@Daniel-fs7bk]

​@@danhobart4009so it's assumed you are pedophilic?

[@KarlPHorse]

Dankula, The Scottish protector of the innocent and freedom,. That has a nice ring to it. Fucking love you Mark.

[@billiondollardan]

I agree. It totally fits him too

[@darksu6947]

Gaaaaaaayyyyyyy

[@Blama_]

@@darksu6947 speak for yourself pal

[@darksu6947]

@@Blama_ 😉

[@Blama_]

@@darksu6947 what the f*ck

[@DantinozMC]

Wow I hadn't realized how many videos you had been uploading, now I have a vast library of things to listen to while GETTING THOSE GAINS.

[@marcusantony3531]

I worked providing IT Services to the Pitcairn islands for a while. At one point we accidentally blocked all their email and they screeched at us for the longest time about it. Ultimately they paid very little and their service was more like a charity than anything else, so their requests were very low priority.

[@KingFluffs]

I dread to think of their search history.

[@placeholdernameisplacehold7671]

I think they advertise themselves as a writers retreat, so being able to email might have been rather important. Also, since there is only one possible option for the internet provider, it's not like they could go with someone else.

[@seanwarren9357]

You provide a service to someone that can't get it otherwise, but hold it as low priority and act like it's charity... So, I assume you weren't getting paid then?

[@marcusantony3531]

@@KingFluffs I actually had access to all their emails and search history etc. At the time I had no idea who they were and I'm kicking myself for not realizing and having a good look through it all. This data goes back a long time and is all just sitting there on tape. Security through obscurity wins again.

[@nuclearwaste002]

Captain Bligh was quoted as saying "They mutiny'd because they want to date me"

[@ZemanTheMighty]

Chad

[@ColdSHeep]

Damn your eyes sir!

[@jymmydkid5633]

🤣

[@mightytax]

Had no idea about this. I was hoping to go there one day but now my mind is changed

[@LabTech41]

Who knew that a civilization founded by a group of mutinous hedonists would turn out so badly? Honestly, the surprising thing is that they managed to actually create something that could last to the modern day; you'd expect them to all die out that generation, or the one after that tops.

[@rebeccaconlon9743]

Same with Australia

[@sergeant_chris6209]

You should look it up. Just after arriving in the island, there was a series of conflicts and every single man ended up dead within the next few years, besides John Adams, who might actually have been the only half decent guy in the group. He started teaching reading and writing to the children based on the Bible, and his contribution to the survival of the island was so much that the only settlement in the island is named Adamstown after him. Anyway, as history shows, the dark roots of their settlement would come back to haunt them sooner or later.

[@LabTech41]

@@sergeant_chris6209 Well, I'd seen the movie version of the Bounty story that had Mel Gibson playing the role of Fletcher Christian, so I know how the story started for Pitcairn, I just didn't know the period between that and this story. Given how little progress and how low the population is, my guess is they filled that gap with a lot of noncery and incest, and the only reason they're not playing banjos is that they can't muster the initiative to make some.

[@sergeant_chris6209]

@@LabTech41 Their population actually peaked at more than 200 at one point and they had to be transported to Norfolk island. Most stayed there, but like 50 wanted to return, and the population has remained stable ever since. Anyway i gotta check out that movie sometime

[@thenumbah1birdman]

@@LabTech41 Fun Fact: Gibson actually wanted to cast Christian as the villain of that film, IIRC.

[@clevermcgenericname891]

That the one of the Detectives they sent wasn't a descendant of Lt. Bligh is the sad cherry on top if the atrocity sundae.

[@boomerharris2965]

That would have been gold

[@chrinaldi]

Fate sometimes has a fucked up sense of humor. But it would be perfectly in line with that view if it were the case.

[@UCSPanther20]

This reminds me of the Goler Family in Nova Scotia. They were a family that had been isolated for so long that they started practicing i-cest, and had been at it for so long that they viewed it as perfectly normal. It is probably what happened on Pitcairn. Kind of scary at how isolation can cause people to devolve into degeneracy. House Goler's aberrant behavior was discovered in 1984, when one daughter broke down at school and revealed that her father had been very actively abusing her for years. What Social Services discovered was an absolute mess.

[@buckodonnghaile4309]

My wife's from Nova Scotia and told me about the story while on a road trip across the Maritimes, absolute horror show. You're right about isolation and degeneracy. Cheers

[@LaughingMan44]

I'd imagine it started with degeneracy, they probably exploited young polynesian girls

[@rosemaryrune]

The Christians as a family both from Norfolk and Pitcairn are an absolute horror show

[@PencilSticks]

It's funny because the British could've just been like, "Okay, sure, we don't own the Pitcairn Islands." *five seconds later* "Okay, we've now annexed the Pitcairn Islands, because we have a military of thousands and you have a handful of able-bodied men."

[@vorynrosethorn903]

They'd get an angry letter from the UN defending the nonces from evil imperialism and cultural persecution.

[@juanfranciscovillarroelthu6876]

Or they could had just waited a day for the Island to start Sending request for supplies

[@Davesoft]

"Im a judge and this cup contains tea.. i've decided youre british, wrong, and a nonce."

[@joshstanton267]

@@FelixBat correct. UN have a track record of uselessness. 👍

[@placeholdernameisplacehold7671]

@@FelixBat The UN does do exactly that. That is all they do. One of the main jobs of the UN is decolonisation. Every single british overseas territory is required to have a plan regarding decolonisation and separation from Britain. However, most just ignore them. Pitcairn is one of the only exceptions.

[@atomicskull6405]

Bligh was actually pretty lenient and fair as british sea captains went. I mean he was extremely harsh by our standards but he was way less of a prick than most captains of the day.

[@elitedavidhorne8494]

Not only was Bligh lenient by the standards of the times. But he raised Fletcher Christian up and mentored him.

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

@@elitedavidhorne8494 no good deed goes unpunished eh

[@jubei7259]

He was also an incredible master mariner. Navigating that kind of distance, using only the stars & in such a tiny vessel is astounding. I know a family who are direct descendants of his & have some of his stuff. He really wasn't the tyrant modern movies etc have made him out to be (no real surprise there though lol). He was genuinely heartbroken when his protege, Christian betrayed him in such a brutal way. For pretty much anyone else, being cast out in such a tiny vessel & with so little rations would have been a death sentence.

[@Drew-Dastardly]

@UpNorth Then they should have went home to their wives or families rather than stay at an inn and take the Kings Shilling from the Navy press gang. LOL.

[@matty6848]

@@jubei7259 true. How the Hell they survived on that tiny wooden ship is beyond me. He also saves the lives of his crew who were loyal to him…

[@f1parcferme]

My head hurt badly after I found all of this out after dedicating a shit ton of time to studying Pitcairn. What a messed up place.

[@crow2967]

I remember finding the islands on google earth and being interested one quick KZbin search and what the actual f*ck

[@Gaybraham.Lincoln]

I love when a nonce is photographed with a black eye. A nonce near me got out years ago. His skin is all shiny and scarred because other prisoners chucked a huge pot of boiling water and sugar over him. Apparently he had to have a lot of his skin peeled off. So the British justice system does work sometimes.

[@marklaferney3443]

Brutal

[@mikelitorous5570]

@@marklaferney3443 he shouldn’t fuck kids

[@cumminsfj4586]

He got prison napalm thrown at him ..... Fantastic!

[@Coyotebriggs]

@@cumminsfj4586 i haven't actually heard of "Prison Napalm" what exactly does the sugar add to it? Does it cling to the person's skin while still boiling hot or something?

[@BenLWolf]

@@Coyotebriggs Yes. You're basically dousing someone in boiling syrup. It doesn't splash off, it transfers a LOT more heat, and sugar MAY raise the boiling point of water so it's even hotter. Like how salt lowers the freezing point. Boiling sugar is the worst part of making cranberry sauce for the holidays because any accident will result in at LEAST a severe 1st degree burn and more likely a 2nd degree or worse.

[@jasoncornell1579]

I remember this it used to be known as a nice easy pacific posting for UK police then a 13 year old girl passing the time of day with the assigned copper said "I'm really fed up of my brothers and their friends forcing me to have sex"

[@ZemanTheMighty]

That’s horrible!

[@jasoncornell1579]

@@ZemanTheMighty well apparently on that island that was the custom

[@Jomi91]

@@jasoncornell1579 just their culture is all.

[@felixsanders1691]

"All cultures are equal" right 😂

[@felixsanders1691]

lunch with prince Andrew, priceless

[@bizzlequid3328]

Great presenting. A welcomed contrast to the high-pitched and often over dramatic delivery of other KZbin reporters. Keep it going!

[@admiralradish]

Sounds like Prince Andrew was an "AFICIONADO OF ISLANDS"...with young girls and no police presence.

[@liamgriffin218]

You know the topic is gonna be a whole new level of fucked up when Dank has a sit down chat and tells us to brace our selves not in the middle of the video right before the fucked up stuff, but right outta the get go

[@halogeek6]

Indeed. If dank is telling us it's fucked before he even begins. It's FUBAR.

[@garlicbreth3]

He has always been violently against anyone that hurts children so im not surprised given the subject of the video, even if to others its pretty tame.

[@beno1129]

Yeah it was way tamer than I had expected given the warning at the start. The systemic exploitation of young girls and women is unfortunately something that goes on across the world in communities larger than Pitcairn Island, so the shock value was limited.

[@grinchman9631]

I forgot to say ,I am Annette,on a borrowed phone.

[@rosgill6]

I LOVE the way you tell stories, Dank

[@iragaming1862]

"We might all be aware of a certain island where some extremely unsavoury things happened" Britain?

[@jamesmccomb9525]

@C Richardson Can you update me on why? All I know is everybody's throwing a hissy fit in parliament because Boris violated lockdown and he's been thrown under the bus. Is there more to it?

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

🤔

[@CM-db5cg]

@@jamesmccomb9525 practically everything boris has done since assuming power has made him unpopular.

[@jamesmccomb9525]

@@FelixBat It's every election people say that this is the worst pm in history we've had.

[@tenacious3911]

The IRA were nonces as well. What was that saying? The one about glass houses and stones?

[@AceTheBlue]

I remember that one time I looked into the most remote populations in the world and came across the Pitcairn islands, I thought the layout and placement seemed pretty lovely as a place to escape from civilization... but after reading a bit on the shit going on there I was like "Nope, I take it back, fuck this island! Send it to hell!"

[@yamiookami]

Nah, don't fuck the island. It does that more than well enough on its own.

[@sku_rr1l932]

I remember that no one asked about your made up remembrace

[@bruce3195]

Yup that happened to me... That first look at paradise to only realise the dark underbelly is so fucked that you have to double take the situation.

[@bondfall0072]

@@bruce3195 this seems like tropical twin peaks, except way more screwed

[@man4437]

Well, hey, good news. The island's population is bordering on extinction, so you might find your escape from civilization some day there

[@snowcloudshinobi]

while my night certainly wasn't ruined by this video (the bjork stalker video was a lot creepier) i think the most shocking part about the pitcairn scandal is the implication... (no, i'm not referencing always sunny) it lends credence to the idea that this sort of thing can become normalized within a society, and that's scary.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

Nowadays: "It's just their culture. We must respect the natives of Pitcairn Island."

[@Bopperann]

Mormon: Nu, Joseph. Dun fyc de baba.

[@Eluderatnight]

The "stans"...

[@winstonsmithsoul]

Yep an exported culture as see in the NZ courts regularly.

[@LiftYagami]

👏all👏cultures👏are👏beautiful

[@NightOfTheLiving8bit]

You’d think that immigration applications would go through the roof these days!

[@user-ef9li9pz3s]

you did a fucking great job keeping this respectful to victims/survivors, with the perfect balance of your humor

[@drtoobreezy2851]

They're not victims, that's a Cowardly thing to say, that A Warrior is a victim! I let it be known fam, it's not my job to judge people who mind their own business.

[@shessomethingelse1639]

@@drtoobreezy2851 Wtf is wrong with you??

[@solhamer3502]

Obviously loads

[@user-ef9li9pz3s]

@@drtoobreezy2851 where you getting your special k from, mate?

[@lucascoval828]

@@user-ef9li9pz3s Jack Murphy?

[@lufc76]

I know this story like the back of my hand, but yes, I will sit here and watch the whole video, I love this story, I once looked into the pitcairn island for days and was truly amazed at their tale!

[@Johan_the_Marshal]

So we went from chilling on an Island to blatant NONCERY in 200 years...

[@jymmydkid5633]

FOR 200 years!

[@christianyepez1016]

I'm surprised it took that long to be honest

[@JakeandElwoodBlues]

@@jymmydkid5633 20 fuckin' years!

[@drtoobreezy2851]

Not so fast, they're jealous they keep tryna claim land that's not theirs, let them be cowards who get caught up in the hype and hurt themselves more than they affect us.

[@vorynrosethorn903]

It's very likely that the islanders weren't wholly speaking out their arse's about the whole 'Polynesian traditions' thing and that the guy's were kiddy fiddlers from the start. Polynesian tradition is in reality just the type of culture that the mutineers set up considering that the first women were kidnapped natives and the first men were of the type to commit treason and condemn their fellows to a slow death at sea over some snatch.

[@sterlingk20_ctr39]

"so andrew where are you going now that you're no longer part of the monarchy" "coz im a island boyyyy ima island boyyy" - Andy Windsor

[@brianmiller915]

Underrated

[@zanzibaara6495]

0:45 was i the only who's first thought was "ohh Great Britain"

[@AGT410]

Pitcairn needs to be culturally enriched. Let's get some of those dinghies diverted 👍🏻

[@KrisRoberts114]

What more rapists, just what it needs🤭

[@asd3601]

they would fit right in with the "culture"

[@romchompa6858]

@@KrisRoberts114 better than them coming to our countries

[@basedbrit4206]

Lads let's just I invade it and give ourselves the rights the British government want to take away

[@SSD_Penumbra]

Is "culturally enriched" code for "Fucking nuked"?

[@Smokasaurus]

Just when someone was going to make a joke about Australia's history, in walks Pitcairn. Boy, the UK really knows which ones to send away, huh?

[@Helpertin]

used too...

[@bencarley6896]

Ah, as soon as they started being all "we aren't a british colony" Just the image of troops landing and planting a flag, dragging the nonces away to a prison just filled my mind. Take your soldier, maybe a few tours in iraq and afghanistan, maybe has his own kids. then tell him there's an island of nonces and he gets to annex them. I would pay a loooooooooottta money to see that

[@Neion8]

I'm just imagining the Prime minister showing up to a meeting of world leaders like 'Hey so guys, so there's a island where they rape children and we can't stop this because they reject British law, would you mind if we sent a warship over to do the old flag trick?' Then the other world leaders look at each other, and 'Rule Brittania' starts playing.

[@ayanlethesomali7357]

Yeah, the same British soldiers that heard the cries of boys being raped in Afghanistan by the local authorities, and did nothing about it. Thank God for the new adminstration.

[@the-letter_s]

@@Neion8 most world leaders would probably think such a place sounds like a good vacation destination.

[@Neion8]

@@the-letter_s Yeah now you mention it that does sound like a more probable reality sadly - I prefer my fantasy though. On the flipside, maybe we could take somewhere like Anthrax Island and advertise it as a resort where child molestation is completely legal but in reality there's no boats to leave the island - it's a place where murder is legal and child abuse victims can pay to strafe the island in helicopter gunship while blaring their song of choice from the helicopter's speakers.

[@the-letter_s]

@@Neion8 personally, i think we should invite all the politicians and other chumos to the island for a giant "party", and when they're all there, we turn Pitcairn island into the Pitcairn Atoll.

[@ariamaddison257]

Dank: “This is going to be a pretty dark video.” Me: *[ Switches of my lights. ]* Let’s get darker.

[@pegzounet]

Welp, that's one island that's begging for renewed atmospheric nuclear testing.

[@orenmontgomery8250]

I would agree but those poor babies probably have enough extra eyes and limbs already...you know... because of the inbreeding. I say stick to the classics. Woodchipper. Helicopter. Wall.

[@zacklapaglia7644]

Let's test out another Tsar Bomba on this island. For at least the nuclear fallout will be a welcomed change when compared to this level of depravity.

[@wags3498]

Nuke it nuke it please nuke it

[@lornbaker1083]

at this point I think we would be doing them a favor. kinda like that old man in the oiltanker in waterworld when it blew up.

[@mfreed40k]

Nuke 'em 'til they glow then shoot 'em in the dark. Gandhi, 1492 (probably)

[@rickl.1603]

This story opens up some other rabbit holes that really should be talked about at some point. Thanks for your content

[@ZemanTheMighty]

I’ve known about this for a while. So I look forward to seeing the video. Also it’s probably nothing but the old Google reviews for the pizza place on the island (yeah they have one) are really bizarre and kinda creepy

[@paulies5407]

That's what a nonce would say

[@holydissolution85]

One of those ?

[@ZemanTheMighty]

@@holydissolution85 ?

[@baron6541]

I remember there being reviews of people joking about swimming to get there or some guinea pig god that the reviewer worshipped.

[@holydissolution85]

@@ZemanTheMighty Alluding to Pizzagate....

[@Sealdeam]

Good thing the "it is a cultural heritage" argument failed, some really fucked-up things were customs that gladly died out.

[@adamhercik581]

There are still cultures where women are kidnapped and forced into marriage. Those things should fucking die out as quickly as possible.

[@ultimatepleb9143]

Some cultures and cultural norms are superior to others. Bollocks to cultural relativity.

[@matthiasthulman4058]

Except that argument is still accepted for the struggle snuggle gangs in America and Britain.

[@Sealdeam]

@@matthiasthulman4058 those disgusting conducts are not accepted out of cultural appreciation, they are ignored because is less costly for the bozos in power to let them be rather than crack down on those f*ckers and risk relatiatory shankings or trucks of peace.

[@r0br33r]

@@adamhercik581 How will they die out? The women will be (and are) having children while you cry alone about x issue online like you're even doing anything to help :')

[@kojothebrojo]

Yeah I'm halfway in and my stomach just turned

[@Darkfirebrand]

I miss the good old days, where a group of dads would inform new priests and teachers, usually the same back in the day, of where the previous priest's body was buried, and if he wanted a bed next to him, all he had to do is touch someone's kid.

[@Tom_-]

This was huge news when it was exposed, but a good idea to cover it as I bet some viewers weren't even born in 2004.

[@mrcaboosevg6089]

I was around, i have no memory of it at all

[@JT-ev5jh]

“All you had to do was stick to THE PLAN ARTHUR”!! 😂😂😂

[@metalkicker23]

Mr Count, I lost my job recently (you can guess for what reason) and while waiting for my other job to come through I have been binge watching all your videos. Just want to say thankyou and keep it up because you helped entertain me and give me a few good laughs and a solid smile over this tough time. Love from WA.

[@natelax1367]

Is it because you novichoked your boss?

[@vorynrosethorn903]

Fell over and lost an army down the back of Ukraine?

[@DukeofTxtspeak]

@@vorynrosethorn903 Oh Crimea a river dude.

[@internetzenmaster8952]

@@DukeofTxtspeak I hate you for that joke. Well played good sir.

[@pj9028]

You do realise that posting this comment on this particular video, makes it sound like you were sacked for noncery...

[@bignubles]

The fact that it just keeps happening is total nonce-sence.

[@Marmite695]

I happened upon you today. And my day is complete!! Thank you for a very entertaining "sick as hell, but true" documentary! I look forward to seeing more of you!

[@lochnessmonsta2981]

Hope Sue and your wee one are healthy and happy. Content with the content.

[@kzeppeg]

...."Totally did not unalive himself". Pure gold! Hahah

[@guh3805]

If I had a nickel for every time the British government was involved in a scandal involving a child sex island, I’d have two nickels. It’s not much but it’s weird it happened twice.

[@r0br33r]

@James Thompson Neither is comedy!

[@seand.g423]

And in an island nation, no less... 🤔

[@TessaDebra-jo6cs]

Underrated comment

[@rosemaryrune]

Go look at Guernsey and Jersey, where it's illegal to have bad press about the island despite it being a child trafficking revolving door

[@_Jebb_]

The Pitcairn Islands used to be my favourite South Pacific islands up until 20 minutes ago

[@lwnf360]

As an American, the phrase "beast weans" is one I've never heard before. Pretty graphic.

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

Scottish👌

[@mudsplash84]

Wee'uns = wee ones = little ones

[@matthewkesterson]

That island clearly doesn't have enough woodchippers

[@michelguevara151]

it's never a good idea to rename a ship, no wonder pitcairn was doomed from the start.

[@somedandy7694]

I remember looking into living on Pitcairn 'cause it seemed like cheap island living, but the people on the island had a bit of a creepy vibe about them on the documentary I was watching. I've been among a Christian sect called the Plymouth Brethren (they're a sort of Quaker), and even without pedophilia they're weird and I wouldn't want to live on an island where EVERYONE gives off that vibe (which the Pitcairners REALLY gave off). Glad I didn't decide to move there.

[@meliciousgoremay]

I grew up in a closed Plymouth Brethren assembly and they have a strong homeschooled/granola vibe. Good people, good doctrine, poor marketing. Not really their goal tho tbf

[@viysnjor4811]

That kind of extreme insularity seems to evoke a primal fear in most people. Lots of horror stories (and nonfiction horror) are based on that premise.

[@viysnjor4811]

@@combativeThinker wut

[@meetrasurrik6982]

what documentary did you watch?

[@OrwellsHousecat]

🤗

[@David-in2px]

That's the spirit, NEVER give up

[@ArcturusMinsk]

if you're only going to send three judges send Judge Hershey, Judge Anderson and Judge Dredd

[@lonewolfandcub668]

Nope, Judge Death.

[@urbanvintner]

They did go back to tahiti and some men decided to remain there and were eventually put on trial for mutiny. That's where the women of pitcairn came from, without whom the would have been no pitcairners. Also when the British navy eventually discovered the mutineers on pitcain only one of the men was still alive, John Adams. The rest had , died during inteegroup conflicts

[@DarthABBA]

Later, the entire island was taken away to another Island by their own request (Norfolk Island, which to my understanding isn't a seedy child abuse island) however soon after some went back. So if you want to see some of that stock that are not sex weirdos you can go there.

[@tenacious3911]

@@DarthABBA Norfolk Island has a sustainably large gene pool, so they're not as insanely inbred as the Pitcairners.

[@ChrisJohnson-uo6ny]

Man, your kid(s) are gonna have the coolest Dad. Someone that can actually teach them about cool people and cool shit.

[@SlurpeeBoy9999]

Another one? We have enough nonce islands for a damn archipelago.

[@IAmMorts]

Geographical nonce banter.

[@Jomi91]

Apparently you have to travel up to 4000 Nonce-ical miles to reach this one. Needs some aerial bombardment if you ask me.

[@librarianseth5572]

They call them Los Cinco Muertes... the five deaths

[@vorynrosethorn903]

Pakistan isn't an island.

[@LordVader1094]

@@vorynrosethorn903 It should be

[@goast_cuard]

Good to see no matter how dark and noncery the subject gets, the dead pixel is always with us

[@aneanderthalscout37]

Hahaha I thought it was from my monitor and I was about to flip cuz it was new

[@patrickclark6540]

Another one! Keep them coming! Your subjects are always fascinating!

[@corneliusmcmuffin3256]

If the British government has authority over the island, then just deport all the residents and set up an actual functioning settlement. Or just sell the land to some other country, since you clearly don't seem to care enough to actually administrate it.

[@dfpytwa]

Bill Gates would probably buy it and declare it as his pedo monarchy.

[@KaguroDraven]

Selling the land would mean giving up on the exclusive fishing rights in the region. Not gonna happen

[@Oldass_Deadass_dumbass_channel]

@@KaguroDraven and the extension of naval boarders, which we all know the British love so much

[@Helpertin]

@@KaguroDraven So if the exclusive fishing rights are so valuable and important, certainly the UK can find what 40 non-pedos to staff the island?

[@dfpytwa]

@@Helpertin I don't think you could find anyone willing to live on that rock voluntarily unless they were provided unlimited access to booze, babes and narcotics.

[@npcknuckles5887]

"It is one of the most remote uninhabited places in the world" Sounds fucking great.

[@TheLigature]

I felt horrible my own my laughter. Well told sir.

[@askinperson2839]

Sounds like Steve and Prince Andrew have a lot in common

[@InnocentKhajiit]

Someone please tell the US pitcairn sits on giant oil fields so some freedom can come their way.

[@Griggs58]

DID SOMEBODY SAY OIL!? *BALD EAGLE SCREECHING IN THE DISTANCE*

[@mowerds33]

A ferry from New Zealand brings supplies to Pitcairn once every three months (quarterly), so if you want to visit, you'll be staying a while...

[@TheCynicalAutist]

Turns out Tahiti was a real place. You learn something new everyday.

[@nothing2see315]

I wish they still made soda

[@Garrus1995]

We NEED MONEH, ARTHUR!

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

You gotta have _faith, Arthur_

[@nathangoucher9184]

And they harvest mangoes too 🥭 😊

[@mistertaz94]

Few times has a community needed a purge as much as this island

[@gruffen2222]

I like the style of whatever is going on here. Looks like a new format you should keep up let's see some actual investigative journalism 🤣

[@Lerequindemort]

Amazing that I've never heard of this till now. This should be a movie or documentary. Amazing work as per Dank.

[@DedicatedAngler]

Problem with VPN is you pay money to give all of your info to a privately owned source. Seeing as they are often advertised to circumvent region locks, I can only assume that they have been left in business to harvest your data conveniently for the government.

[@runswithcows]

Isle of the Nonces? Oh yeah, of course Pitcairn.

[@damanibrown3021]

Reality really feels like a TV show sometimes.

[@josiahz21]

Hmmm. Horror tv show/ snuff film in this case.

[@michealballspen1s93]

"Reality is stranger than fiction because reality has nothing holding it back. Fiction does" -a fucked up way of saying that Mark Twain quote

[@lukeslayer]

Thought my new 86 inch TV had a dead pixel I shat myself then I realised it was just your video 🤣

[@emsouemsou]

One other notable thing about Pitcairn Island: thanks to the island, the sun still doesn't set on the British Empire. There is a period of time when the sun is only visible from Pitcairn Island, and no other British territories.

[@sergeant_chris6209]

But at what cost

[@r0br33r]

Who cares? Literally nobody who isn't a failed numale obsessed with royals

[@mathieuleader8601]

I don't think this is going to be monetised for much longer given the topic

[@RoughNek72]

Hahaha!!!

[@NotUrDJ]

That's why dank does sponships , getting paid even if it does get demonitized

[@Wicked061]

Thats why sponsor like the one featured in this video along with our boi are awesome.

[@NotUrDJ]

@@Dockhead can't do anything if you're broke or behind payments , trust me I know. Gotta pay the editor even if you don't monetize it. So it's perfectly justified.

[@mathieuleader8601]

@@NotUrDJ the editor does a good job

[@blackadder1966]

What happened in similar communities around the world? Interesting to see a comparison of other isolated cultures. Was this a one off or more common? Must have been a terrible place for young girls, living in constant fear. This video i found researching the mutiny after seeing the name christian on an item from pitcairn and it reminded me of the mutiny and the abuse

[@lhaviland8602]

One off. Tristan de Cunha for example doesn't seem to have these issues. I think it has more to do with the founders being mutinous sex addicts.

[@chadnoneya4164]

We should go there like a dog pound organization. Just clipping balls like crazy

[@annabanna666]

I say decapitation