The Last of Us HBO EP5: The Importance of Great Role Models - Therapist Reacts!

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In this video, psychotherapist Georgia Dow discusses the role of role models in helping us navigate difficult times, drawing inspiration from the hit TV show "The Last of Us." Using the character of Sam, who is infected by a deadly fungus, as an example, Dow explores the difference between Henry and Ellie as a role models for Sam and helps him navigate the challenges he faces.
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🙏 Thanks for watching, see you next video!

[@AlanJames]

Here's the related video that Georgia mentioned. kzbin.info/www/bejne/eXO1fqalZtx4j7s

[@GeorgiaDow]

thanks for sharing it, pinned

[@TimSedai]

Ellie attempting to *cure him was heartbreakingly optimistic, like only the young could be.

[@incantrix1337]

Imagine if that's how it worked and you never tried it.

[@Lucidel-M]

I actually thought it would work, I mean IDK why probably cause I wanted it to work. I'm not even the least bit optimistic.

[@mbank3832]

she is still innocent and thought she can easily save everyone but that is not how reality work

[@khoinguyen5004]

@@Lucidel-M it wouldnt. Anything needs to be absorb into the body to work. We know it wouldnt work, but we had hope

[@lucasbroome1048]

@@Lucidel-M If the virus doesn't kill him, the AIDS will

[@theforgetfulalchemist]

Someone pointed out how important it was when Ellie asks Sam how old he was, for Henry to get Sam's attention so he could answer himself. I also love that now Ellie knows how to sign "endure and survive" brb crying.

[@jonunya1163]

I imagine FEDRA teaches the kids sign language, so they can talk silently around infected

[@Ziaotic]

@@jonunya1163 the way FEDRA operates i highly doubt they would put that much effort into that

[@ObliqueReference]

One thing the show does arguably better than the game is remind us how immature Ellie is (she's a teenager, duh) at time. Her thinking her blood was medicine was just what a kid would think. For all the trauma and terror they experience, they're still just kids.

[@Zombina638]

No

[@MM-vs2et]

@@Zombina638 Yes

[@booperdooper9762]

​@@Zombina638 No to what?

[@Elessar_86]

I'm surprised there was no mention of the growth Joel displayed when he catches the old man sniping at the window. Joel sincerely asks him; twice, not to do it, and you can tell he doesn't want the weight of another death on his conscience. Beautiful episode, and fantastic character arcs all around. It was heartbreaking at so many turns, and the end, seeing Ellie shut down was stirring.

[@diy0rg0]

Her style of videos is to focus on the main topic of the episodes + the insight of her profession, she doesn't go through everything that happened.

[@trevvy2124]

As someone who played the game, I can appreciate the changes and details added to this show especially this episode. I loved the differences in Henry and Sam's relationship and I loved that we got Ellie knowing what happened to Sam and I also love how we got to see how much a kid Ellie is within this show. I don't think we get the full scope of that in the game but I think the show is really hammering it home that Ellie is still a child. In her mind, she could save Sam which I think really connects a lot that the game maybe didn't have the room to connect in certain ways.

[@yuniorreyes.130]

This scene where Sam asked Ellie to stay awake with him broke me, absolutely broke me. The naive optimistic viewpoint of Ellie all of it broke me. We all knew where it was headed but we held out hope

[@majorzipf8947]

I didn’t! And it broke me.

[@threadyprawn8944]

They made me cry even more with how they went for Ellie and Sam's moment. It's so perfect, beautiful, and painful seeing how they interact and trust each other.

[@MrWizeazz]

I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting the super hero mask this time around. Thanks for the laugh

[@GeorgiaDow]

welcome !

[@miyouko7241]

When Ellie says that she is scared of ending up alone, I interpret it has : she is scared that everyone around her ended up infected and that she will be alone because of this. Being immune may seems like a blessing but I always have saw it as a cursed in disguise.

[@bjywjy3708]

Reading too much into it Ellie has been alone her whole life she doesn’t want to die alone not because she’s immune

[@ducktape160]

Roses are red, violets are blue This therapist know her stuff, trust her to help you

[@bowi1332]

Definitely at least one life-saving advice in there.

[@wesleycolvin7158]

It's so heartbreaking that Henry and Sam try so hard to lean on each other, to protect each other in their own ways, but it all backfires anyway. The two actors in those roles were award worthy the entire time. Cutting to Ellie as the gun goes off so we could see her reaction was brilliant. "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

[@thevikingbear2343]

Ellie did not stay with him. She fell asleep and thus she inadvertently broke her promise. Sam turned into a zombie completely alone and his wishes were not fulfilled. That is why she is sorry at the end. She could have been there for him, but she wasn't. He had to face his fear all alone.

[@VanessaTJ]

I started watching reaction videos for this series specifically and didn’t know why. After this episode I think maybe it is for support. Thank you so much for these videos ❤️

[@GeorgiaDow]

thanks = )

[@Dragonstar13]

Ellie trying to cure Sam was one of my favourite parts. I felt it was really good writing that this was something a kid would think. Normal adult, would of told the others and chop off his leg in an attempt to save him. But Ellie is a still a child at this point, and she wanted to protect Sam. So she doesn't tell because she has the idea that she's the cure. Ellie doesn't really understand how she is going to save humanity, and Joel isn't really the best person that can explain it to her. So Ellie thinking that her blood might be able to miraculously cure Sam is such a pure and innocent way of looking at it. I felt the story here was more heart breaking for Ellie than in the game because Sam looked up to her like a big sis. And she feels she let him down because of how naive she was. It's a very difficult lesson for Ellie, but it's helping her understand the world a bit better now.

[@gabrielalejandro1404]

It was hard to see.

[@robert_bbiii]

I liked using the pad to communicate. Especially due the end with the fears. It makes it more real. Plus it out to the universe. Even if it can easily be erased. As for keeping calm it is the old joke of I'd be calm if it wasn't for how you're acting. It is important to show that you can be scared and still be calm.

[@JasperAyeee]

i also really liked the changes they made to Henry and Sam in the show -- not that the game did a poor job of things but -- i think the events of episode five better solidify Ellie's resolve in *wanting* to do her part.

[@480pthacker]

That's going to make the season finale so much harder to watch

[@Overused_Toothbrush]

What is the difference in the game? I haven’t played them.

[@anshelman]

@Overused_Toothbrush not sure about Henry, but for Sam, he is younger and deaf in the show. I assume his being younger also changes the dynamic between Ellie and Sam compared to the game (haven't played it but watched some videos about it.)

[@Lucidel-M]

This episode plus the Bill and Frank episode killed me, my heart dropped like that time I watched episode 3 of Arcane. Henry and Sam's relationship was so cute.

[@m3rrys0ngstr3ss]

I was wondering which topic you would tackle with this episode! I figure Sam would be even *more* dependent on Henry's body language and signing style because he can't hear his voice - but I'm sure he could see when Henry was talking too fast. You were talking about Generalized Anxiety Disorder - I'm someone who deals with that, and it definitely makes me wonder if I could handle this world of the show.

[@MrWizeazz]

It was such a great change to make Sam deaf for the show. It really added to the tension.

[@OhyeahMrKrabz]

Man this episode was so emotional or what

[@crusader2112]

It was.

[@midnightfox3157]

This episode really brought me to tears

[@damianstarks3338]

This episode was both action packed and heartbreaking at the same time. Happy to see you reviewing it love your cosplay as always.

[@killianalexandergunn8625]

I knew this was coming and I'M HERE FOR IT!!!! I love your content Georgia. MARVELousssss

[@GeorgiaDow]

thank you

[@savagenature1]

Probably one of my favorite things about this episode is how quickly and genuinely Ellie and Sam bond with each other. They are finally able to be kids around someone who is also a kid. It seems like almost in no time at all they are playing and joking around like they've instantly become best friends or even adopted the other as their new sibling, making Sam's death all the more tragic.

[@LucasDimoveo]

To be fair to Sam, he just saw Ellie run through a field of infected before offing two Clickers. He just might believe she isn’t scared

[@GeorgiaDow]

good point

[@kermitdafrog7186]

10:22 I feel like this is an important topic because my friends did this to me. (TW: suicide) I told my friends I was gonna end it and they immediately called my parents after I turned off my phone. I’m alive today because of them. I was furious that they didn’t let me die but now, I’m eternally grateful. They knew that I’d be mad, but at least they knew I was safe.

[@chelscara]

11:00 how you described their interaction reminded me so much of the AIDS epidemic, which parallels some of the same feelings in episode 3. It’s so damn powerful.

[@andyhi247vids]

Thanks for the analysis! Similar to how Bill helped with Joel’s progression in the show, Sam here helps Ellie with hers. In this episode, Joel says “It’s easier when you’re a kid anyway. You don’t have anybody else relying on you. That’s the hard part.” Ellie wanted Sam to rely on her to make him better. That’s why she didn’t tell the others about his bite. It just didn’t work out the way she had hoped. And now she’s not a kid anymore...

[@LoadedGunn47]

I’ve found your analysis on the series so far to be very moving, your review especially of the love story between Bill & Frank really made me appreciate how impressive the episode was and the series as a whole. It’s been my favourite game franchise for some time and seeing it now play out for the world to enjoy has been amazing, thank you for bringing even more attention to it with your unique approach 🤙

[@GeorgiaDow]

aww thanks!

[@belleoehler2024]

This is the only show that made me cry not once, but TWICE! I am in love with this series, it's so good

[@holysecret2]

I expected a word or two about Kathleen's singular obsession with revenge, and how unhealthy that is (evidently), or the moral dilemma / quandary Henry faced with Sam vs. Kathleen's brother. But I suppose Henry and Sam's journey and fate are the main focus of the episode.

[@jubilantsleep]

Keivonn (the child who plays Sam) is literally the cutest little boy on planet Earth so that final scene made me jump and tear up even though I played the game and knew it was coming. Game Sam was also adorable but HBO Sam was so much younger and more vulnerable. And he reminded me of some kids I know. Hit me hard. Good job, show. Thank you for your insights! I love your superhero mask!

[@headfangs]

I saw some people interpreting Ellie putting her blood on Sam as her humoring him, but that just doesn't make any sense to me. For one, I doubt she'd be okay with sharing a room with Sam knowing her blood wasn't a magic cure (at least in that way) and she could wake up at any time to being attacked. And secondly, I feel like Ellie's maturity is making people forget she's still only 14 years old, she really and earnestly believed this might help him.

[@jmcman6104]

6:25 fun fact the original title for the last of us game was actually “Humanity” before it was changed

[@bright-vision8766]

Would have loved for you to comment on Henry's last moments

[@GeorgiaDow]

yes that was another video i thought of doing

[@bright-vision8766]

@@GeorgiaDow Awesome! You'd have one guaranteed view from me :)

[@kevinjohnanand]

No spoilers, but I can’t wait for season 2. There is SO much to dig into psychologically.

[@aoshi01]

i love this shows, and how they are building the fact that ellie is truly a sociopaht as we see in part 2

[@tristancreed]

The ending of this episode was heartbreaking and traumatic.

[@zZaxOo]

I'm surprised you didn't touch on how Joel parental instincts show with Sam too, to the point even henry notices. Like how he shares the food only with Sam and not with Henry and letting them have fun on the underground daycare

[@archeryguy1701]

Man, I didn't think that they could make the end of that story even more devastating than what was already in the game. Having Ellie think she could save him and seeing her "fail" is crushing. It's interesting how much this show is REALLY leaning into the idea that love can be a driving force to get you to do things, good or bad. Obviously, this theme was plenty strong in both games, but they definitely feel like they're doubling down on it in the show. Bill and Frank's expanded story, the idea that Henry sold someone out to save his brother, Kathleen being destroyed by the fact that she couldn't let go of avenging her brother (huh.... setting up some themes for next season, eh?). Everybody in this world is driven by the need to save or protect the ones they love, and those driving forces keep taking people to some not very good places.

[@AustinSamson1999]

Girl I really hope you do some videos for the second game! It has so much it touches upon in the story and I’d LOVE to see your breakdown of all of it!

[@Ruthless13x]

One aspect, I hope they touch on from the game. Is the people who are infected, are technically still there. In the game, you will walk by some(infected) standing alone crying. They’ll be weeping - but once you get close enough the fungus takes over. I really do hope they touch on that - cause look when the kid asks When you’re a monster Are you still you inside? - maaan that will be fire if they touch on that. - like inside these people know what they are doing but have literal no control - they are only aware of this in the first 2 stages. - the infected in the game can be heard weeping,crying when alone & sometimes will cry/weep when infecting/feasting others - it’s really fucked up.

[@majorzipf8947]

Oh. My. Gods. This gives me chills. I’ve not played the game obviously. This is horrifying; amazing storytelling but truly horrifying.

[@chuckb8514]

I knew what was coming and it still hurt. I like the shows version of this even a little more than the game. I liked that Sam revealed the bite to Ellie. I like that Ellie was able to be there for Sam in the final moments. Also that scream when Henry died was haunting. Great video. Endure and Survive.

[@ijlayugan4149]

Oh man this one HURTED

[@niq.v]

This show just continues to blow me away, and these reaction videos are so insightful!

[@ryanbaran8765]

i was waiting for your reaction all weekend cause the episode came out early friday night due to the superbowl

[@TomTomson81]

Ellie hasn't told the adults, especially Joel, about Sam's bite because she thinks Joel is going to shoot him directly. Tess told her in episode 2 that he was going to shoot her, so she'd better say why Marlene really wants her. Ellie wanted a chance for Sam and believed it could work. After all, she is not a professor and the only thing she was told was that she carries the cure within her. It was an opportunity where there is none else and she wanted to use it to save him. I'm a little surprised that you didn't say anything about Ellie's reactions at the grave.

[@nightcrawler5696]

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the young actor, Keivonn Woodard, who played Sam? He was so good!

[@AprilSunshine]

The super hero mask! 😭💖

[@najtrows]

I would like to see your take on Kathleen too, and her resistance group.

[@alfreddaniel1994]

I was hoping that you touched on Henry killing himself, because I recently had a moment where I didn't want to go on anymore, and that scene for me was VERY relatable. I'm sure it was for many others too.

[@evelinabrogren8679]

georgia I feel like I could have a long chat with you without feeling left out. I feel very safe with your skills and your special way of talking. 👋

[@GeorgiaDow]

that is a wonderful compliment thank you dearly

[@jamx_1276]

I was very much looking forward to this video ready to cry along with you since the first video at the end was very moving but it didn't happen lol Honestly this was such an amazing departure from the game it just fits so perfectly with what was built up for the show. I feel that making Sam even younger made for their dynamic to be more of a sister and little brother dynamic as opposed to the game where ot was more of friends relationship even if sam was the younger one. So both worked amazingly for what they both were, the games talk with Sam and Ellie was very much what two young people would be like in that apocalyptic setting trying to make sense of the world they're living in. In the show it still is kinda the same but it changes due to the nature of new relationship and it keeps the innocence of their age and due to the new type of dynamic, Sam feeling like the younger brother, entrusted ellie to show her his wound and perfectly as a kid, with all that innocence, she tries and hopes that her blood would work. I love that WHOLE scene, everything is so so great. And let me mention this as I really haven't seen anyone really mention it, that last scene is so perfect too cuz that little notepad (I don't remember what that product is actually called) basically is the replacement of the toy robot from the game. That robot was supposed to be a sort of symbol of their childish innocence, especially Sam's, but it's especially bounded to Sam. And now the notepad is that replacement in the show and iz also palaced on his grave. Or she does here where she doesn't in the game ( I think she didn't) so damn, that little notepad also hits hard

[@classicslover]

That is a VERY good look for you, Georgia! Superhero suits you. My family was visiting my uncle in B.C., car got stuck on a logging road. I ran up from picking berries and saw a huge bear behind my Dad. I said "Dad! There's a bear behind you!" Dad saw there was a clear path from the bear to me, so he stepped between me and the bear. "Him? Don't worry about him." my Dad told me. "Maybe he just wants to help push! How about it, Bear? Do you want to help push?" The bear looked over at the car as if it was considering it, then dropped back down on all fours and wandered off. Like you said, I took my cue from him, and was calm. A quality I emulated in...adventurous situations. = ) Oh! And are you aware that Strahd is based on the cautionary tales for women against abusive men who try to romance them? Rich and good looking does not mean good for you.

[@GeorgiaDow]

thanks !

[@Freaky0Nina]

I like that they don't cut away from the signing. I have seen it happen pften times, and since I don't speak sign language I can only guess that it must be really annoying. When you finally get to watch a movie in YOUR language just for the part you understand effortlessly to be immediately cut off.

[@bowi1332]

Super Georgia!

[@GeorgiaDow]

there

[@mabusxb856]

So when I got my ankle my buddy realized I was going to hospital. Faster that I actually felt the pain. He laughed for 2 seconds then actually tried to help. Haha. Oh shit

[@batcaaat]

yay new episode!!!

[@Battlefieldtripshow]

I love the different sides of the characters you see here. Ellie's reaction to *SPOILER* really shows how, for everything she's been through & how it's hardened her, she's still just a kid, & she cares *so much.* And there's this look in Joel's eyes & in his voice when he's trying to deescalate things with Henry, where you can tell he *knows* what's going to happen, like he's seen it before, probably several times. He's not pleading for himself or for Ellie, he genuinely doesn't want Henry to do it. Or the way he starts to visibly panic & struggle to make good hits when Ellie is cornered in the SUV... God there's so much happening here.

[@jayrose8638]

Been loving the show and your takes have been very interesting. One of the reasons I subscribed to your channel was an older video and you made a passing comment about doing a video comparing Joel and Kratos’ parenting styles. As someone with daddy issues that sounded really interesting. I think one that would be interesting now would be comparing game Joel with show Joel. Like the difference in how they talked to Ellie after she shot her first person onscreen.

[@arthurcamargo8416]

Does one really die when facing Strahd, or does one simply become a vampire minion with potentially eternal existence? As for Ellie, I took her note to mean that she is afraid that humanity will not survive without her "blood medicine." She will be the last survivor. And that means that when she says her blood is medicine, she really is hoping that it will work, to show her that the fate of humanity resting on her shoulders is more than just a pipe dream for saving the world... So when she writes "I'm sorry" on the 'Magic Eraser Board' it has a lot of meaning for her. Again, that is just another take. I enjoy these breakdowns and learn a lot!

[@GeorgiaDow]

oh yes I really really died = )

[@MrZonehawk]

Ellie is a riot. She would be fun to be around in a post apocalyptical world.

[@savagenature1]

It seems like the show decided to put less of a focus on Sam's internal torment in exchange for giving Ellie more growth as a character. In the game, we get a better sense of Sam's internal torment because he refuses to tell Ellie that he's been bitten. However, in the show, because he tells Ellie about his bite, we get less internal torment/character development from him. But because Ellie makes a genuine attempt to save him and fails, it gives her character more growth because she not only has the guilt of Sam's (and possibly Henry's) death weighing on her, she is also shown the harsh reality that finding a cure may not be so simple, assuming it's even possible. One gives the supporting character more development and the other gives one of the main characters more development

[@dragonweyr44]

But wouldn't hiding ALL of the dangers, putting EVERYTHING in the world in a box and not letting them know what KINDS of dangers are potentially out there be even more dangerous than not telling him? Henry hides EVERYTHING from Sam, but confronting fear and conquering that fear may be better than boxing it all in like Henry does to Sam

[@Chr15Payne]

Therapist reacts? I definitely needed therapy after getting hit by that train in this episode

[@jacoboblanco1555]

Man your commitment to cosplay is on point. 😃

[@GeorgiaDow]

thanks so much

[@aldrixalkemadus]

I know it is not your normal kind of video idea. But mayby the psychology of Hope from NF would be interesting.

[@Eckister]

nice one, thank you Georgia!

[@Sorakovu]

This episode was soooo good and full of great action

[@tobydion3009]

I was waiting on this.

[@argylesoze4945]

Another great video, Georgia.

[@jeffsantos93]

I love the look!

[@GeorgiaDow]

thanks !

[@brianng8350]

I was multi tasking and for a second, I thought she had sunburn on her face... hahaha... Seriously, good point regarding breaking the confidentiality rule, especially for kids of there is possible danger or harm to the person or others. But is this the same for lawyers, priests, psychologists? Do they have an obligation to break the bond if it poses danger for someone? Or they are held to the confidentiality rule?

[@xerxesmejia-yt3jj]

Can you also react for Bethany Dutton of Yellowstone? As a fan of the show i am always fascinated by this complex character.

[@bradleybrown8428]

Some peple don't like the show because it doesn't show the games story beat by beat but that's the ting; we're not playing the game. I love the games and the show. i'd pick the show for a much deeper story and the game for when I want to just play a game and relax. As someone who's blind; I love that they actually included a deaf character and then actually hired someone who was deaf! Naughty dog and their teams really are going the extra mile and it shows!

[@Alex-tq1qr]

You're wearing the Sam superhero face mask?!!! Okay, yes. I'm subscribing. It's more than symbolic. As a therapist...you know that there's more. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@kacinema96]

You should do videos on the characters in the Willow series.

[@felipenavaza1475]

Sam going through the infection in the game is way more depressing. Just imagine being on that situation all alone, but at the same time, being with people who care about you (specially Henry) and not saying anything

[@MrNarxy]

heh heh...Georgia DRow Caught that

[@GeorgiaDow]

hah

[@vintagegirl31]

I've resigned myself to be okay with spoilers when watching you, especially since I don't have HBO and can't see this show. 😕 😭 I want to watch it and play the game

[@GeorgiaDow]

well I hope you enjoyed the show through the videos

[@jonathanross149]

Super Georgia

[@hkr0065]

Hey Georgia, would you consider making one about Avatar: Way of Water? Each character would be great to explore in psychological depth, similar to how you handled Arcane.

[@tomassoejakto]

You didn't break it down to the end of the episode. Ellie feeling guilty over Sam's fate was hard to watch. But at the same time she became a little more hardened by the experience.

[@The_Story_Of_Us]

I don’t think Ellie completely believed that her blood would cure Sam. I think she WANTED to believe it would and also like you said, she wants to make Sam feel safe and hopeful, but I don’t think she’s naive enough to just believe it would work wholeheartedly.

[@Ginger_Tank]

I hope to see you react to Kratos from God of War 2018 and Ragnarok

[@arduh]

i wish you had reacted to Sam's death and the emotions of Henry aswell, great video though

[@cringyboythatisfoolish]

kinda off topic, but i have not seen any real therapists read into kratos from god of war, sure he is super raah angry you know but there is definitely more to him, especially with the 2 new latest instalments of the franchise. i truly love the way you analyze and it would be neat for you to check out!😀👍

[@mikeym9146]

Hammered wars you say? Go on :D

[@boomfyer89]

Was that a vex cosplay? 👀

[@GeorgiaDow]

hehe it was ! I have her as one of my season two videos you can check it out

[@ZegetaX1]

Could you do psychology of Geralt of Rivia

[@peace4myheart]

Super Therapist to the rescue!

[@GeorgiaDow]

hehe

[@PSD748]

This Has Been An Amazing Show. Pedro Pascal Is On A Roll Georgia. Also CATCH Him In The Mandolarian Season 3 March 1 On DISNEY +.

[@annekitt8006]

Please do a therapist reacts for fiona in Shrek please, first movie!! i think its one of the best character arcs for modern women before and especially today.

[@jacobolivares5992]

DO ANOTHER VIDEO ON THE NEW MOVIE PUSS IN BOOTS

[@khoinguyen5004]

Tlous ep 5: How to destroy your emotion like Arcane ep 9

[@MariKurisato]

can you react to Everything Everywhere All at once please? Thank you for your channel.

[@laxvers_gg7968]

Hey, could you do a therapist reacts of American Psycho pls

[@HassanAhmed-mu1bu]

How much did you cry at the last part?

[@gametrailerz6117]

If she believes that she is the key, then why did she not help Tess? Tess was infected and she could help her. Even if there was no time, then it should be mentioned. She should have felt guild because she couldn't help her when there is a chance. However, Ellie told Joel that it's not her fault, she did that to herself by accepting the deal.

[@GeorgiaDow]

that is a really great question, thoughts on this. Maybe she had more time think of how she should have done things with tess or maybe she didnt have time to think. It could be she didnt believe but that doesnt seem true to her character

[@gametrailerz6117]

@@GeorgiaDow Thanks for the comment :) Ellie also didn't want to leave Tess behind. Joel was dragging Ellie outside of the building. Maybe what you suggest is true when we consider these kind of details. 👍

[@BigMikeMcBastard]

The podcast gets into it a bit. Ellie trying to cure Sam was her buying into the idea that maybe she can do something incredible and cure people for the first time. She's only known she's immune for a couple weeks at this point and is only now just starting to accept that she could be the answer to the infection.

[@majorzipf8947]

Hindsight. She was probably convincing herself as much as Joel. And after weeks of fighting off guilt, was determined to make a difference this time.