The Long-Expected Cringe Fest

[@dermagnus8482]

"There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery". Tolkiens work should be sacred and stay untouched by woke BS.

[@marshmallowvampire8503]

I know!! True fans and lovers of Lord of the Rings would want a dead man's good work to be preserved and respected,and they do. Honestly, George Clooney in Monument Men probably put it best, that if we destroy what the men before us accomplish/created, it's like they didn't exist. And the left is well aware of that truth, they want to be extra sure everything good that doesn't revolve around them is forgotten and destroyed.

[@falguard]

We'll have to turn to the Dark Speech for this one.

[@Demogorgon47]

That'll just make them want to ruin it all the more unfortunately. These are people you can't so no to which is ironic considering the tissy they throw over consent. As always they're brimming with hypocrisy and a total lack of awareness as they project their insecurities on all.

[@TheKing-qz9wd]

Somebody go ask the Balrogs to drag this crap to Mount Doom for us.

[@Demogorgon47]

@@TheKing-qz9wd Only in the great trash fires of 'Mt Doom and Gloom' can the Circle Jerk Ring of Wokeness be unmade!

[@shmeebs387]

I think we all owe Christopher Tolkien a debt of gratitude for safeguarding his father's work for as long as he did.

[@fenrirtheicewolf2019]

"Fantasy is escapist, and that is it's glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?... If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!" -- J.R.R. Tolkien

[@adriannaranjo4397]

This should be on a plaque

[@unbearifiedbear1885]

@@CNNBlackmailSupport they'd probably stop reading after the word "partisan" and just assume its in line with their beliefs

[@jokids8516]

I don't want to be that guy but... The quote isn't from Tolkien but from „The language of the Night Essays on Fantasy and Science Fiction" by Ursula K. LeGuin who was a huge Tolkien admirer and the qoute isn't given in it's full version: "There is an area where SF has most often failed to judge itself, and where it has been most harshly judged by its nonpartisans. It is an area where we badly need intelligent criticism and discussion. The oldest argument against SF is both the shallowest and the profoundest: the assertion that SF, like all fantasy, is escapist. This statement is shallow when made by the shallow. When an insurance broker tells you that SF doesn’t deal with the Real World, when a chemistry freshman informs you that Science has disproved Myth, when a censor suppresses a book because it doesn’t fit the canons of Socialist Realism, and so forth, that’s not criticism; it’s bigotry. If it’s worth answering, the best answer is given by Tolkien, author, critic, and scholar. Yes, he said, fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don’t we consider it his duty to escape? The moneylenders, the knownothings, the authoritarians have us all in prison; if we value the freedom of the mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it’s our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can."

[@XBullitt16X]

What a fantastic quote

[@suburbanbanshee]

@@jokids8516 So... you have never read "On Fairy-Story" by Tolkien, but you've read LeGuin's essay quoting it?

[@haineko1101]

Tolkien Society: "Let's engage in a deconstruction of all the things in LotR!" meanwhile, Gandalf: "He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom."

[@dano9224]

Takes a "special" kind of mental gymnastics to force modern politics into an almost 70 year old book.

[@djolds1]

Hell, these books date back to the special kind of hell that Kaiser Willie and Douglas Lord Haig collaborated in creating in the No Man's Land of the Western Front. More than a century old now. And still relevant.

[@sidecharacter7165]

Well socialism and communism havd been around since before it was written. Might be worth a look at the affiliations of these people on “modern” politics.

[@Kostas_Dikefalaios]

A book written by a devout Catholic at that.

[@DrakeKnight99]

People have been trying to do that with actual history because they don't like it

[@karenhall4645]

Its almost like they can't bear to read it unless they can find identity politics in it, who cares if it fits the story.

[@EdgarFriendlysCivicsTeacher]

*70 year old saga* : exists Narcissists: "I made this."

[@covalkir]

IMO, more to the point, "I fixed this".

[@EdgarFriendlysCivicsTeacher]

@@covalkir I suppose that is probably more to the point. But since the project is not complete until the original creator is expunged from history it'll work out that way.

[@sigmacademy]

@@covalkir Even more accurate: I finally "figured" out all the themes even the writer didn't know about. :/

[@excalibur9391]

Does it really piss anyone off that in this world we live in now, every relationship between two men is brainlessly labeled as gay? Just because two men are close doesn’t mean they’re in a romantic/sexual relationship. Friendship is a powerful thing after all.

[@danny_decheeto8300]

It kind of does yeah Can’t have shit in detroi- the whole world I guess

[@darkdwarf007]

yeah, it does. I'm bi, but I don't want to fuck everyone. It's not like there are different types of relationships or anything. There is an opinion I heard that radical leftists like that are unable to concieve the concept of friendship, so they resort to saying that every close relationship is sexual in nature

[@thhunter]

That's why they do it.

[@maximillianfex6261]

Me and my roommate do some border shit at each other, but we're straight as hell. Bromances are a beautiful thing

[@Steven9567]

romance is bs in general

[@richardsampatterson8120]

“One ring to rule them all…” Man: “That’s transphobia, there should be a number of rings to reflect the diverse nature of gender.” Sauron: “WTF?”

[@Dargonhuman]

That's why the race of Men were gifted 9 rings and became enslaved to them, being transformed into the Ring Wraiths... Well, according to these psychopaths anyway...

[@JM-vp8zc]

Sauron: “Will one of you orcs snap that human’s neck? Thanks guys!!”

[@MidnightSt]

it's a feminism ring. all the lower rings under its power are those reflecting diverse nature of race and gender.

[@evildoughboy7773]

Wokeness is an evil that even Sauron himself would reject.

[@wolfbane7497]

Sauron : " hey man all I wanted to do was use 16 rings to control people and bend them to my will to try to make a better world. At least I tried to make a better world through mind control. At least I had a reason and a plan for my madness this this is not okay this is just pure evil. "

[@Zoroislostagaian]

Hahahaha 😂😂 this is gold!!

[@mala6238]

@@wolfbane7497 today they would make Sauron a misunderstood creature with good intentions.

[@nerdyempress6745]

No he didn’t. He bread orcs from Elves 🧝‍♀️, And his servant bread orcs with goblin men. They all about the mixing up and confusing of people’s ideas of where they come from.

[@mmyr8ado.360]

Sauron might reject it, but Melkor would accept that if you think about it.

[@shebakoby]

I heard somewhere of a saying that applies here. "Crayon-eating, blue-curtain-analyzing smoothbrains". For those unaware, "The Curtains Were Blue" is a TVTrope which means that some people try to impart meanings that an author never intended, such as "The blue curtains mean the author is sad" when in reality, the curtains were just freaking *blue*.

[@jayone8891]

“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every BOOK rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.” - 1984, George Orwell In 100 years will Tolkiens work even be close to resembling what it does now?

[@AnnaMarianne]

Physical media, physical books. Own them.

[@couldawa7114]

@@AnnaMarianne yes i own several copies of lotr and hobbit some old some nrw

[@StartRunning.]

wipe them out, slay them all, make an example out of them.

[@Ivan-co7iz]

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!

[@Garrus1995]

I recently read The Hobbit for the first time and I wasn’t really taken with it (though I could understand why people like it). Is the LOTR trilogy a stronger story?

[@ainternet239]

"We're not here to protect Tolkien's work" -- The Tolkien Society Pretty much sums up modern popular culture right there

[@saintjst7]

Sam has brown hands because he is a gardener. He works outside, HE HAS A FUCKING TAN. Holy shit, these people are killing me!

[@marikroyals7111]

Now now, don't you know white people don't tan. They're all snow white that if the sun hits them you have cover your eyes from the blinding light that reflects off them. I kidd of course. But seriously you're expecting logic from people who you can literally spell something out to them in extreme detail and they'll think it's about something completely different or the exact opposite.

[@Klongu_Da_Bongu]

No sense using logic against fanatics. Think about this. Would you ask Charlie Manson to stop killing people while explaining why it's wrong? I hope you feel better now, that's my intent.

[@honjon666]

Thank god, i was just thinking of saying the same thing.

[@cristianespinal9917]

I read it as his hands being brown from the dirt.

[@cristianespinal9917]

@Lostcause I really don't think it's so much a lack of creativity, as much as willful obtuseness. I believe that they know Sam wasn't brown-skinned or gay as well as any normal person. It's their own headcannon and they read that into the story because they want it to be true despite knowing that it isn't what Tolkein meant.

[@BurningFreesias]

Can they not see how insisting on projecting homosexuality on two men just because they are tender and loving in a _brotherly_ comradery actually reinforces behaviors of "toxic masculinity?" Such as the fears fathers may have towards hugging their sons and telling them that they're loved, because it might "turn them gay." Because by their own logic, if it's not distant, or toxic, then it must be gay. No nuances or in-betweens.

[@TallisKeeton]

good point :)

[@15thobserver]

"What 'feminized' behavior? Sauron is over here fucking with men's minds, and trying to conquering the world, and making people bow down to his whi- ohh... Nevermind."

[@RazorTrap]

Hahaha that's the funniest part.

[@coreysayre1376]

Oh, God, maybe they were right! LOL

[@nuclearmedicineman6270]

Sauron is broadcasting through the palantir, any man without extreme willpower watching will become a helpless simp..

[@sasasasa-lx6cl]

He is also wearing a ROBE!

[@garreonlefay6703]

So Sauron was a Feminist?.....That makes sense

[@benwest3223]

Tolkien was definitely “aware” of female characters. He doesn’t need any help from these wingnuts.

[@fantasywind3923]

Exactlt. Tolkien actually even wrote once in a letter: From Letter 165: "It is not `about' anything but itself. Certainly it has no allegorical intentions, general, particular, or topical, moral, religious, or political. The only criticism that annoyed me was on that it `contained no religion' (and `no Women', but that does not matter, and is not true anyway)." Lotr itself has many females as actual characters: Lobelia Sackville Baggins, Goldberry, Arwen, Galadriel, Eowyn, Ioreth, Shelob (yeah the demonic eldritch abomination giant spider is female ;)), Mrs. Maggot, Rosie Cotton and her mother Mrs. Cotton, and that's just those who have speaking lines or important role in story, there are countless females mentioned as minor characters or part of the world or backstory mentioned either in narrative or in appendices (Angelica Baggins, Dora Baggins, Esmeralda Brandybuck, Primula Baggins, Belladonna Took the 'remarkable daughter of the Old Took and Bilbo's mother mentioned in The Hobbit, Finduilas the deceased wife of Faramir and Boromir and Denethor's wife, Morwen Steelsheen wife of king Thengel and so Theoden's mother, Theoden's deceased wife Elfhild, Theodwyn, mother of Eomer and Eowyn and Theoden's sister, Dis the sister of Thorin Oakenshield and mother of Fili and Kili, etc.).

[@spacedinosaur8733]

@@fantasywind3923 But because ALL the characters were not female [didn't need no man, and have long talks about their feelings (and trying to backstab each other)]; None of them count & Tolkien was obviously a misogynist. ;)

[@shoopoop21]

@@spacedinosaur8733 its so much more intense than that. If somehow we made them happy, and everyone wrote exclusively about women, and somehow made it work for the audiences, they'd turn around and say its mysogynist for men to portray women at all. You think this is about ethics, but its not, its a game of red light green light with a cheating traffic light player who hates your fucking guts, because they want you dead, tortured and screaming, or better yet, as servile self-correcting, flagellating, true believer of their one world religion, and guilty over having ever disagreed with them. They want to _break_ you, sure, that would be nice, but what they really hunger for is your complete obliteration. They want to _unmake_ the world as they see it around them, and the people in it.

[@FourFourSeven]

@@shoopoop21 That's.......well, that's quite a sophisticated explanation of these people's intentions. A shorter version of this would be: _"...do not forget that these people want you broke, dead, your kids raped and brainwashed, and they think it's funny"_ ~Sam Hyde

[@shoopoop21]

@@FourFourSeven Sam Hyde is a warrior priest philosopher king when he's not shooting up schools, or doing deep dives.

[@thelonerider9693]

Why do these people feel the need to give their fan fiction pseudo-scientific sounding titles as if they were researching subatomic particles or psychology or something?

[@-Siculus-Hort-]

"trust the science"...

[@stephanc6138]

they wanna make THEIR head cannon crazy legit. latching on like leeches onto what ever realities (in this case, popular franchise with a long history) ... its an parasitic infection.

[@liljenborg2517]

Because they think it makes them sound as intelligent as someone researching subatomic particles. They’re also priests of a false religion. They want to make it sound mysterious and over your head, as if, could you be inducted into the seventh level of the arcana of intersectional memetic vanity, you too would be able to understand the confusing terminology and all the paradoxes and incomprehensibility of their “brilliant” work would, at last, be perfectly clear.

[@thelonerider9693]

@@ForeverLaxx Well said.

[@Fedorevsky]

@@liljenborg2517 They are the children of the lie

[@anonymussicarius8899]

"Sauron is constantly fucking with mens mind, trying to conquer the world, and make everyone to bow down to his wims, Ooohh...." - Savagely brilliant. XD

[@Vandervecken]

I agree I was laughing with maniacal glee at that one.

[@GeminiKnight76]

I was gonna say the same thing. I was doing when JSG said that. 😂💀

[@justincicconi759]

I had to pause the video, I was laughing so hard.

[@jonerikson5925]

"We aren't here to protect Tolkien's work" Fantastic, so you will have no problem changing the name of the organization to stop confusing people more than all of you already are?

[@Ramsey276one]

THIS

[@anonimoalfin]

THIS!

[@shelvingunit2000]

It was quite common for British authors to describe a Caucasian man as “brown” skinned in the Victorian era and before. It happens multiple times through Conan-Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories. And it refers to people who are unquestionably Caucasian. It’s a way of describing them as being either tanned from working outside in the elements. Or possibly just darker complexed. But it’s not a racial thing

[@TallisKeeton]

yes, exactly. Becouse that was what differentiated the elites from the working class people one or two centuries ago - the elites didnt have to work outside so their skin was not tanned and the fashion for both the ladies from the elites and for common women were to try to not be tanned. Thats what originated the umbrellas - the women wanted to be seen as not tanned so as of better class. So they used umbrellas to be protected from become tanned. And strawhats wearing in summer and long gloves wearing even in summer were also big fashion for women becouse of this. For women become tanned meant to be from working class so not proper for one who wants to be wife of a rich guy :)

[@pogue6327]

Excellent video. Since Christopher Tolkien passing, the conservatorship of Tolkien's work has been sold out. Absolutely shameful.

[@unbearifiedbear1885]

I like to think the world actually _did_ end in 2012 and none of this is reality It helps

[@TSPH1992]

@@unbearifiedbear1885 It appears the ancient Mayans were right after all

[@Cunnysmythe]

@@TSPH1992 They were clearly speaking metaphorically and we didn't pick up on it

[@TSPH1992]

@@Cunnysmythe not until now

[@nickbrough8335]

I'm sure the money is more important to many of them than the work itself

[@miscielrossvillegas6307]

...so basically the conference is about a bunch of people getting mad that the fantasy book written by an Englishman born and raised in England 1892 isn't about international LGBTQIAS2+ rights of 2020.

[@Gonzalo_105]

the alphabet keeps getting longer by the day

[@lunalee3021]

"but some indians had a thing called two spirit" which yeah I'm sure is exactly the same as mikayla on deviantart deciding she's the onceler

[@joshualowe618]

That feminine Sauron thing was f*cking gold.

[@regidus]

it was hilarious !! he comes up with some real ziggers

[@TVK37]

That line hit hard as all get out. And there is SO much truth to it too.

[@taz3810]

Unintentionally based lol

[@ZeroOmega-vg8nq]

@Evan McGough evil just got a whole lot more bangable. For justice.

[@JV-km9xk]

How did these weirdos even get into the seats of power

[@Sakanero]

This is the moment when Iluvatar slaps these people and shouts “You had one job!”

[@-Siculus-Hort-]

sam had brown hands because he was a gardener.

[@fergalmoore862]

Yes, he had what we would call a "farmer's tan" from being outside all day. In Georgian, Victorian and Edwardian England it was an indicator that someone was working class if they had a tan. Gentry, like Frodo, didn't do physical work and so they could sit around indoors out of the Sun.

[@randomnerd9088]

@@jovenc4508 Truer words have never been spoken

[@InfernosReaper]

@@fergalmoore862 it's not even limited to that era of England either, but in many lands around the world, because aristocracy had been the same pretty much everywhere in regards to being mostly indoors away from the sun. It wasn't until fairly modern times when indoor laborer work became more common place and certain other technological advancements happened that things started to change. Spending time lounging at a pool or a beach tended to become a new pass-time for the elites, which led to them getting more tan than their predecessors. Hilariously, then tanning beds and spraytanning became a thing to try to mimic that look, which got us a leathery orange people who look like they came out of Ed Gein's workshop.

[@fantasywind3923]

People of mediterranean can also have tannish or brownish skin tone (or what is sometimes called olive skin) and still be classified as 'white Europeans'. In the specific description of the Hobbit 'breeds' the words used are key Harfoots are 'brownER' of skin meaning not deep brown but browner than other hobbits like...Fallohides who are 'fair of skin and hair' so in other words 'pale', so browner than pale doesn't mean african black or some such, they really want to reach with those kinds of arguments. Hobbits in general are described also: "Their faces were as a rule good-natured rather than beautiful, broad, bright-eyed, red-cheeked, with mouths apt to laughter, and to eating and drinking." In any case the three breeds of Hobbits as they are described would then over centuries mixed up in the Shire: "Before the crossing of the mountains the Hobbits had already become divided into three somewhat different breeds: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallohides. The Harfoots were browner of skin, smaller, and shorter, and they were beardless and bootless; their hands and feet were neat and nimble; and they preferred highlands and hillsides. The Stoors were broader, heavier in build; their feet and hands were larger, and they preferred flat lands and riversides. The Fallohides were fairer of skin and also of hair, and they were taller and slimmer than the others; they were lovers of trees and of woodlands. The Harfoots had much to do with Dwarves in ancient times, and long lived in the foothills of the mountains. They moved westward early, and roamed over Eriador as far as Weathertop while the others were still in the Wilderland. They were the most normal and representative variety of Hobbit, and far the most numerous. They were the most inclined to settle in one place, and longest preserved their ancestral habit of living in tunnels and holes. The Stoors lingered long by the banks of the Great River Anduin, and were less shy of Men. They came west after the Harfoots and followed the course of the Loudwater southwards; and there many of them long dwelt between Tharbad and the borders of Dunland before they moved north again. The Fallohides, the least numerous, were a northerly branch. They were more friendly with Elves than the other Hobbits were, and had more skill in language and song than in handicrafts; and of old they preferred hunting to tilling. They crossed the mountains north of Rivendell and came down the River Hoarwell. In Eriador they soon mingled with the other kinds that had preceded them, but being somewhat bolder and more adventurous, they were often found as leaders or chieftains among clans of Harfoots or Stoors. Even in Bilbo's time the strong Fallohidish strain could still be noted among the greater families, such as the Tooks and the Masters of Buckland."

[@MrJerichoPumpkin]

@@InfernosReaper in Chine it is still this way: you are tanned? You are poor as shit.

[@worldscoolestperson7672]

Few authors paint such vivid descriptions as Tolkien, so the idea that he would subtly throw in an allusion to a major character trait or physical feature and never have that come up anywhere else other than one fraction of one sentence out of context which is also far more easily explained by basic reasoning is insane.

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

No, he never mentioned pants so obviously every character must have been a nudist. That's how it works.

[@worldscoolestperson7672]

@@politicallycorrectredskin796 and he never said the Fellowship wasn’t also the name of Frodo’s alt-punk band, so they might as well start shredding out a little Sum41 on On Mount Doom. I mean you can’t disprove that’s not what Tolkien intended, as yet all.

[@elliotwalton6159]

"Why are you a fan?" pretty much sums it up. It's not about being a fan. It's a full scale cultural invasion.

[@bigtechisbigbrother8690]

Cultural Marxism.

[@ilovelamp87]

> cultural invasion. So the SJWs/Wokies have lived long enough to see themselves become the villainous colonisers, ironic, as I thought they were anti-colonialism. 🤔 🙄 😔

[@CmrSchmidlap]

I recently left a company that was starting to let these people in. It was a construction company with a vague logo of a person with a hammer. it's a profile, the hair is shoulder length and skin tone an indecisive white or brown. but these people decided to take the microphone at the annual company conference and decry how it was clearly a white male and therefore the company was racist and sexist for having a white male with a hammer on the logo. and I was like... if the logo is so racist why did you come work here in the first place?? So needless to say I got out of there at the next opportunity. I'm sure that company will be driven into the ground in the next few years as these people gain control

[@steffimaier7297]

Basically like those "fixed" drawings, but this time in literature.

[@bogey780]

From the book, not the movie, Gandalf had this covered. “Saruman,” [Gandalf] said, “I have heard speeches of this kind before, but only in the mouths of emissaries sent from Mordor to deceive the ignorant. I cannot think that you brought me so far only to weary my ears.”

[@PleaseNThankYou]

Fucking brilliant to pull this up. Brava.

[@anonimoalfin]

THANK U FOR THIS QUOTE. FITS LIKE A GLOVE! SO PERFECT!

[@Prottype]

My gosh that is such a powerful line. Tolkien really was a talented writer!

[@iradarthaggie2195]

There are no curses, not even in the tongue of Mordor, for this treachery.

[@markschweter6371]

* Excellent * !

[@hannahrainous9080]

Tolkien is often quoted on using fantasy to escape as a prisoner would try to escape prison. Welp, I now plan to escape to a reality where these works were never written, let alone published and promoted, by doing the one thing the writers failed to do: reading the source itself. Have a nice day.

[@worldscoolestperson7672]

Well said.

[@TSPH1992]

That's how I approach my creative writing/comic project. Genre: supernatural (a subgenre of fantasy) . Escaping into my inner thoughts and fantasy of my mind away from the real world and meditation.

[@opticalraven1935]

Amen

[@mkv2718]

i’m reminded of the time i went to an artist’s talk at the Art Institute of Chicago, (i’ll let the artist in question remain nameless as her identity is not important, she’s fairly famous tho) and at one point, this grad student asked this looooooooong rambling question that took like 3 actual minutes to ask. it was obvious that he just wanted everyone around him to know how “smart” he *thought* he was, which is what all these papers are. what made the situation memorable was what the artist replied, “ummm... none of that actually applies to my work. any other questions?” i feel like this sums up these loonies pretty well.

[@NoLifeKing47]

Now, I admittedly never read the books, but perhaps if Sam's hands are described as being brown, it's because he was a gardener. You know, the people who dig around in the dirt all day while under the sun.

[@VidkunQL]

The people who write these "papers" have probably never met such a person who wasn't Mexican.

[@RallasterAsuremen]

or because, like many people working out of doors, he's got a tan from long exposure to the sun.

[@crocidile90]

@@RallasterAsuremen yup, due to my work as a security officer for a construction site so my arms are a few shades darker than my torso

[@Steven9567]

@@immikeurnot no they just hate white people

[@janinebelleestrada7096]

@@Steven9567 you mean their projected self hatred because some hot guy with 6 pack abs wouldn't wanna date this losers xD

[@digthesechild-bearinghipsb2842]

9:19 "If you pull anymore straws the Midwest will turn into a fucking dust bowl," That line of yours is absolute *gold*

[@theduxabides9274]

Suprising no one, Cordeliah is a glasses-wearing white woman, with short, dark hair and pronouns in her twitter bio I swear by the Valar, these people are grown in a lab

[@dermagnus8482]

People with pronouns should be excluded from any serious work. In Illuvatars name.

[@Blackdawn1975]

NPCs often look alike

[@vidmastereon]

Physiognomy 101

[@Roggor]

The lab is called University.

[@veggsbacon1891]

Ah yes, the description of a typical sjw drone. Oo, don't forget the colored hair is part of the "higher ups" of such cult. 👍🏽

[@AndYourLittleDog]

Did they miss the part when Eowyn utters her iconic “I am no man” line and slays the Witchking? I’d argue that that was feminist AF🤷🏻‍♀️

[@artemprotectron]

When real life is becoming a babylon bee or Onion article, we dun goofed somewhere.

[@WolfofCannae]

Babylon bee probably looks this shit up to get inspiration for their stuff

[@janinebelleestrada7096]

@@WolfofCannae yep. Though we can still say we probably dun goof indeed somewhere and young innocent children are going to pay

[@Bopperann]

God is trolling us by making our reality a parody of itself.

[@sometimeslol5578]

Literally word for word onion article on fox yesterday. When George Bush warned against ending war

[@rockcliff1930]

As an Indian, living in India, speaking on behalf of India, announce that we as the collective of Indians disregard her from our nationality, any white liberal can adopt her for she matches them more.

[@Drakonis.Imperial]

Damn, I guess every story is "woke" if you IGNORE THE ACTUAL TEXT AND JUST PRETEND IT MEANS WHAT YOU WANT IT TOO! Seriously, none of these people have the smallest hint of imagination, narrative or original thought ... they're worse than fan-fiction writers who haven't even read the original text!

[@austintheamerican3784]

“I believe in death of the author, why? Because I intend to metaphorically kill him and his works.”

[@JohnSmith-is4uu]

"The World has changed..... Much that once was is now lost, for none now live who remember it"

[@an_otherwanderer]

This eerily fits our daily lives now...

[@sertorrhenclegane]

There was a Babylon 5 reference up in here! Truly, you are not Just Some Guy, but Just Some King.

[@comicsgatekeeper9746]

Londo rules

[@bogey780]

Centauri biological references are the rarest of B5 references.

[@underthepale]

He wuz Just Some Kang And Shieeet.

[@bogey780]

"Sheridan was a megalomaniac. And to allow history to feed that megalomania, even posthumously simply compounds the error. We have an obligation as academics to uphold certain standards..."

[@elpretender1357]

Just THE guy

[@kotk05]

When you're useless, this is what you do, take something someone did and ruin it. Pretend you're an intellectual and surround yourself around other weirds that will back you up. Leave Tolkien's work alone

[@d962831]

In all likelihood, the description of Sam's brown hands likely had to do with the fact that he's a freaking gardener who has his hands in the dirt all day.

[@floydlooney6837]

Exactly

[@rileyellis5951]

He also likely had a farmers tan, due to being outside working in the sun. I truly believe these people have never had to spend an extended period of time outside.

[@ATippingBarn]

Death of the Author is one of the worst things to happen to literary society

[@O4C209]

10:11 "What feminized behavior? Sauron's over here fucking with men's minds, and trying to conquer the world, and trying to make everyone bow down to his whim...ooooohhh." 🤣🤣🤣

[@anonimoalfin]

OMG IT WAS WAY WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! THANK U FOR YOUR GREAT SERVICE JUSTSOMEGUY!

[@kylethomas9130]

The only gain from this, is discovering Sauron was the OG male feminist.

[@anonimoalfin]

LMFAO!!!

[@timwhite5562]

"Reading against the grain." Damn, that's a good one. I wish i had that one loaded in the bandolier back in school. "Tim, you're book report sounds like you didn't even read the book. Did you just read the back page?" "No, i read the book. I read against the grain."

[@HardReset_YT]

Thinking two men that are friends are only ever gay, almost make me feel bad for the fact that these people have never had a true close friend...almost

[@InfernosReaper]

I remember when it used to be the regressive nutjobs who'd say crap like that seriously. Now, it's the so-called progressives.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

Most orcs like them don't have friends, close or otherwise, I'd wager.

[@66666Ray]

@@InfernosReaper They're the same nutjobs, honestly. If you've seen the "progress" these people advocate for, it's entirely regressive because they've already won their battles and are still fighting ghosts

[@fidelperez4837]

This reminds me of that scene in Back to School when the professor tell Rodney Dangerfield that the person who wrote the literary criticism paper about kurt vonnegut knows nothing about kurt vonnegut (when the paper was actually written by the author about the meaning of his work)

[@BigFrakkinOgre]

Glad I'm not the only one thinking along these lines.

[@Nugnugnug]

"Sauron's feminized behavior" Manipulative, domineering, obsessed with jewelry? Or is the writer referring to the female ability to shapeshift into bats and wolves?

[@dylanbell268]

Let the mask slip, they can’t keep up the facade enough to not insert their biases into a work

[@dougiethompson2822]

Definitely the latter

[@learningthebagpipe5234]

Ever women I've met shape shifts in to hyena and kraken

[@kentbarnes1955]

You sir win the uber prize for spending brain cells (and endangering same) in reading these...I got no words. Thank you sir. I enjoy your work always

[@noir3231]

Welp. We knew it was coming. Modern cringe injected into a legendary work. Makes me sick.

[@Mister-Six]

After they destroy Tolkien, they'll destroy the works of Robert E Howard, Michael Moorcock, Fritz Leiber, etc.

[@noir3231]

@@Mister-Six they've already begun with H.P. Lovecraft. Now it's Tolkien. I have a feeling the next will be Robert E. Howard. Maybe Cormac McCarthy when he's dead. It's just a downward spiral.

[@no_activity]

TBH, the first step down that path was the works of people like George Martin who deconstruct the classical archetypes because they despise them.

[@noir3231]

@@PetitTasdeBoue how alot of games/companies profit off of his work while simultaneously virtue signaling that they're not racist.

[@otaku-sempai2197]

The symposium has also been discussed at length at TheOneRing.net forums where the over all consensus is that folks have been making a mountain out of a molehill over the whole affair. Such papers are fairly routine at these events.

[@liamrobertson9508]

As much as I like the Mordor games, I'm glad that everything Tolkien himself didn't make is non-canon.

[@riftvallance2087]

At least the stuff they do add is consistent with the lore , non damaging and non offensive. I'd say they only two things that bugged me were the anthropomorphizing of shelob and getting friendly with an orc. Even then not too big a deal. You can tell the creators were very devoted fans themselves.

[@Nite-Mite]

I’d gladly accept an adopted Haradrim black guy in Gondor, and a cute female Gondorian captain taking over for her father, over this crap.

[@chillax319]

Well the Mordor games creators pretty much admitted that it's just a fanfiction/spin-off thing for them. And it's just that. Playing loose with the actual lore and world rules but the games themselves turned out to be a blast. Especially the nemesis system and how orcs were portrayed in the games.

[@nmjjmn663]

@@riftvallance2087 Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with you there. It's fine if you like the games, but they are absolutely nowhere near lore friendly. The very core concept of the game, Talion being "banished from death" flies completely in the face of the lore. Others problems being the Nazgul's rings being removable, and them being replaceable, or the whole thing with being able to use evil to fight evil (apparently Boromir was right, you can use the ring to fight the Lord of the Rings). And that's just off the top of my head. Like I said, no problem if you like the game, but, I highly doubt the creators were devoted fans.

[@nmjjmn663]

@@chillax319 They did actually try to pass it off as lore friendly at first, but gave up when people started pointing out all the problems.

[@oldhatAN]

Notice how many of them are preemptively dismissing a straightforward reading of the text aka what the books actually says. They know that nothing in Tolkien's work supports any of this pseudo-technical blather and nonsense. They know that what they are trying to project isn't actually in the work at all and that people will point that out. The lack of reference to Tolkien's letters is also telling. They are readily available and, to a very large extent, lay out exactly what Tolkien was doing and why. There is really only one reason to ignore what the author said about his work with such determination. It doesn't support their preposterous ramblings at all or directly contradicts them. Why is the Tolkien Society inviting speakers who have no respect or regard for Tolkien or his work to spout rambling, pseudo-academic drivel?

[@TheSonOfTheDragon]

At this point I'm waiting for Sir Christopher Lee to come back from the dead as revenant and reek unholy justice for this sacrilege.

[@generalstaal7075]

If he turns into a vampire again I say we let him do his thing.

[@TheSonOfTheDragon]

@@generalstaal7075 I'm not so sure about that, he actually hated playing Dracula.

[@generalstaal7075]

@@TheSonOfTheDragon Tim Burton managed to sneak a pair of wings behind him in Sleepy Hollow.

[@deespaeth8180]

Yes, please!

[@centipede167]

I'll bring the candles for the ritual.

[@mala6238]

If you hate a work and what it stands for you are not a fan.

[@gibtsnicht1003]

It's not about Tolkien, or anything he wrote. It's about the fanfiction they have in their heads.

[@GigglingStoners]

No, it's about destroying a culture and it's values.

[@InfernosReaper]

Not even fanfiction most of the time, but rather stories they came up with that couldn't stand on their own so they're trying to wear the dead skin of a franchise like they're a literary Buffalo Bill(the Silence of the Lambs character, not the guy who lied his ass off about how the wild the west was to get people to see his shows)

[@thelordssoldier83]

Love your work mate.

[@dbuck5350]

Sauron's feminized behavior..."oh...nevermind." I died laughing.

[@RoseBaggins]

I know, same. 😂😂

[@mattkhourie4037]

I cracked up and people came into my office to ask what was up. Classic JSG.

[@nmjjmn663]

That comes straight from Tumblr. If you go there, they characterize Sauron as an effeminate gay man whose personality revolves entirely around gayness. His horrible ideas and actions are never mentioned.

[@TallisKeeton]

or demonized behaviour :) as he was basicaly a demonic being :)

[@sverizona]

They think the fact that Sauron likes jewelry means he's "feminized". Even though the folklores that Tolkien drew from are FULL of instances in which jewelry is used as an object of power (magical or not) by both men and women. Really just revealing that they are viewing it in a limited modern perspective that thinks jewelry is a feminine object.

[@jennyjoot9184]

You should see all the gay stuff they draw with melkor and sauron on tumblr, they've pretty much turned sauron into a woman to ship him with melkor.

[@sterlingkart9562]

When people clearly never read the texts and want to make up their own fact after a weekend of listening to the book via audible or watching 15 minutes of the films

[@InfernosReaper]

Or get their information on the world from people who did that...

[@oscarwind4266]

I think Amazon should have their adaptation privileges revoked.

[@BrooklynSwagg17]

I think the saying "Look how they massacred my boy.." has never sounded so appropriate till now. 10:12 shiiiieeet it all makes sense now lmao

[@nathanmorgan3647]

“The first step in liquidating a people,' said Hubl, 'is to erase its memory. Destroy its books, its culture, its history. Then have somebody write new books, manufacture a new culture, invent a new history. Before long the nation will begin to forget what it is and what it was. The world around it will forget even faster.” ~ Milan Kundera

[@captainamerica8118]

Tolkien to NPCs: you clearly know nothing of my work

[@sloth4844]

To take something, like Tolkien's work, which is so universal that even a kid who isn't natively english could understand, and just overhauling it to fit only their very narrow agenda of "total equality" is just really ironic.

[@Steven9567]

they just hate white people

[@coreysayre1376]

Truly, it is. Even moreso when considering the method for doing this to a text comes straight out of freshman college English 1 -- the idea of Symbolism. Just because the professor explained symbolism and used the mystical power of, 'assumption', to then breath meaning into the otherwise mundane, does not actually cause the mundane to become meaning. That's like expecting a doctorate from the, 'research paper' you aced for the final exam from the same English class, lol. These folks need to realize this wasn't some super power they discovered, it essentially is just a means of having someone take whatever daydream they were having about the text and turning it into a creative writing assignment.

[@sloth4844]

@@Steven9567 i say they just hate white people just a tad bit too much tbh. hell, some of us kinda cool with them even though the Brits used to colonized us.

[@sloth4844]

@@coreysayre1376 yeah, that and it's not even THEIR work. If they wants to go with the whole symbolism thing, why not mention that JRR Tolkien just want to make a fantasy retelling of his services during the great war.

[@Mike-gj4tu]

Your reference game is always so strong i love it. Love your content keep up the work

[@leonedralev3776]

Tolkien is seen in heaven drinking straight scotch out of the bottle.

[@Rinesmyth]

More like he tripled on his pipeweed, one pipe's not enough to outsmoke this nonsense.

[@dandare9055]

That sudden epiphany when realization that Sauron had just toxic feminine "Queen Bee" personality. Priceless :D

[@Marcara081]

Speaking of dark-skinned white people, I'm a ginger. Put me out without sunscreen and I burn. But put me out day after day with sunscreen and I tan toasted-marshmallow brown. I look like a chocolate Halloween cupcake after the summer's over.

[@melimelz4948]

That’s an adorable description! 😄

[@bignumbers]

Also, Harfoots are the common folk among Hobbits. They did all the farming, so they'd be more tanned than Fallohides who tended toward leadership roles

[@paulwoida8249]

I really wish you could post a picture of you in September. King Cupcake.

[@marshmallowvampire8503]

Same. Like, whites can tan. And even if it wasn't referring to tanned skin, it could still be covered/stained by dirt

[@ackulakan]

Yeah, I can cease being white real quick. I brown up real fast.

[@TurnStyleGames]

Papers written by people who have not actually read Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or even The Silmarillion. Classic.

[@erasproductions1033]

These are not fans these are people who find anything that doesn’t fit their desire and change it to that. I am a Tolkien fan I am still reading the books I don’t know how people just can’t enjoy some fiction the way it is. I really have a bad feeling about the future smh 🤦‍♂️

[@marshmallowvampire8503]

I know!! True fans and lovers of Lord of the Rings would want a dead man's good work to be preserved and respected, and they do. Honestly, George Clooney in Monument Men probably put it best, that if we destroy what the men before us accomplish/created, it's like they didn't exist. And the left is well aware of that truth, they want to be extra sure everything good that doesn't revolve around them is forgotten and destroyed.

[@erasproductions1033]

@@marshmallowvampire8503 agreed

[@JV-km9xk]

Weirdos probably have poor genes from their ancestry. Since the industrial revolution, everybody's survival rate rose up and that helped the unfit to survive significantly. What does this have to do with the weirdos? Physical health is corelated to mental health. The physically and genetically poor prolonged and thus, their weak and mentaly poor minds got passed on as well. Now we see a lot of weirdos out of the norm of traditional people, the regular and normal healthy people of stronger generations if you will. They can't accept the reality of being different (less desireable) so they change it and see their undesirebleness as beautiful and good. Hopefully these culture of people won't continue to persist. Their relationship amongst themselves is generally not as strong and long term compared to traditional minded people. Eg., promoting neo values of degeneracy that seems to have a compassionate foundation. Take this with a grain of salt.

[@InfernosReaper]

They're not fans, they're locusts, devouring anything any everything with value before moving on to the next thing to bring ruin to.

[@Vandervecken]

Sam's hands are brown from constantly plunging them into soil day in and day out for years, and from the sun from all that outdoor work. Hence only his hands being brown, no other part. Jeeze.

[@nevarmaor]

The last thing JRR wanted was someone else "expanding" on his creation. It was his and his alone. And we all should feel privileged that he allowed us a glimpse of it. But then apparently no relationship can exist without sex being the main motivator.

[@suburbanbanshee]

Actually he hoped that other people would base art on his "mythology," but he also hoped that it would be good.

[@The1larian]

I just flat out love how you approach this stuff... so so intelligent but with such a solid street edge... you rock ! and for the record i think today we can safely call them the 'TOKEN' Society.

[@jkd1975]

Tolkien is spinning in that grave at light fucking speed.

[@wolfbane7497]

His spin is so fast that the starship Enterprise could run on its power for the next sextillion years

[@whiterabbits22]

Quick! Wrap him in copper and surround him with magnets. We’ll solve all our energy needs!

[@wolfbane7497]

@Toothpicks he's spinning so fast that the speed of light would say that's fast. Even Barry Allen The flash would give up his title as the fastest man alive to Tolkien simply by him spinning in his grave.

[@sidecharacter7165]

Tolkein’s spinning is the Speed Force

[@vidmanandrew09]

Pretty sure he hit Plaid real quick.

[@bhushanharripersad5716]

I got a headache just trying to understand the logic of the exerps you read, I don't want to know how much you suffered making this video. Thanks for suffering on our behalf.

[@Matej_Sojka]

"I think that was English..." I was drinking when you said that. Now I have to clean up my screen and table from the spit. That laugh is still worth it.

[@LeuvahkTrigger]

For me it was the dustbowl comment. Humor at its finest.

[@Ramsey276one]

Bots of New York makes more sense than that! XD

[@joshhitxoriginal9367]

Bruhhhhh that fucking cunty buffet joke has me rolling

[@52moviesayear]

Saurons over here f***ing with men’s minds while trying to take over the world, oh wait…😂😂😂

[@Regless0000]

gotta love how they think they're existance bothers people when clearly the opposite is true.

[@keystrix3704]

_"Wheel of Transgender Realities, turn turn turn! Tell us which lessons we should unlearn!"_

[@Tabletop_Epics]

I watched this kind of, "Academia" creep up in the early aughts. When some of us asked why stretched and strained nonsense passed as valid essay we were chided for restricting perspectives and ideas. Academia is riddled with cancer. Has been for a long time.

[@noravanguard]

"His brown hands" Ma'am, my I introduce you to the mediterraneans

[@fergalmoore862]

You don't even need to go that far south. I'm Irish as were all of my ancestors for hundreds of years, yet I am dark (compared to the stereotypical Irishman) and during the Summer I can easily pass for a Southern European.

[@noravanguard]

@@notreallyhere67 dont you know, tans are racist.... shame on you

[@avwillis5269]

"How is Sauron femenized?" I mean, he's literally a whispering eye.

[@ogfisticuffs9678]

I wasn't looking at the screen for a few minutes, and I swore that he was making some of those words up. Then I watched it again...

[@jmace2424]

It is so hard to keep track of what all the stupid new words that these people use are supposed to mean.

[@treasurecave431]

Lord of the wigs : the return of the geh

[@-UnchartedSky-]

Fuck nah. This won't fly with Tolkien fans. We must resist.

[@shadowwolf8434]

Finally the chosen one returns

[@reginaldbutterfranklin9424]

It's hard to find people more self-obsessed than this weirdos.

[@dw620]

Have you ever heard of a "straight reading" of a well-known LGBT+++ text or a "white reading" of a well-known POC text, JSG? Imagine now the outrage, if you will... (Keep up the good work!)

[@chadburtelson9423]

My man, nice Gandalf quote. I went back and re read the interaction between Gandalf and Saruman. It is interesting how close this Tolkien group is now mirroring the betrayal of Saruman. Nicely done.

[@editorrbr2107]

Oh, Christ. This is even worse than I imagined.

[@anonimoalfin]

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS... and the series seem to be EVEN WORSE !

[@epaminon6196]

Tolkien was an old white guy from the 1930s. He could've easily written way more offensive stuff.

[@Yithmaster]

love the Babylon 5 reference to the male Centauri

[@collegesandcannibals241]

As an Englishman it is heartening to see at least one American defending the man Tolkien and his works. Thank you.

[@Xfushion2]

I seriously don't get the "trend" of grabbing a old piece of literature and trying to bullshit that it's original premise wasn't is original intention but instead some contemporary SJW agenda that wasn't even an issue when said literature was written. It's like saying that the _Quijote_ wasn't actually a parody of riding knight novels and Cervantes cleverly mocking all people that shift blamed all society and personal problems into leisure media consumption (books at the time) instead of their own behavior but about Quijote and Sancho _totally accepted gay romance during the spanish inquisition_ because asspull reasons. Like if they really want some form of media that reflects their agenda, why don't they create their own instead of _fanficking_ already established works?

[@GigglingStoners]

Because their aim is to destroy a culture and its values.

[@cceyxx]

Because they couldn’t sell any of their woke bullshit. Look at the comic book industry. Stuff like that always ends up creating debt, rather than profit.

[@shoopoop21]

Because they don't want to create a culture, just destroy one.

[@CmrSchmidlap]

isn't it quixote