The Lottery: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

State lotteries claim to be good for education and the general wellbeing of citizens.
But are they? (Spoiler alert: No.)
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[@MrGamerman001]

"fuck you evolution I decide who flies!" probably how I would spend it too.

[@Left4Coragem]

Make giant mechanical legs for whales, for them to walk on land :P.

[@612music2]

Marky Rotinsulu dude why the fuck are u here did u even watch the fucking video gtfo

[@matthew_natividad]

Find a way to make spiders less scary

[@DBSKxJVJxTVXQ]

Ask me how tо win lotterу prizes in 9 оoout оf 10 games!Wоrks for most lоttеry games in the wоrld.Go here ==> twitter.com/692e39fffe2a3db05/status/742626059930198016 Тhe Lоtteeeеryуyy Lаst Week TTTоnight with John Oliver HBО

[@egogeo851]

Scuba suits for squirrels

[@timesnewlogan2032]

“You can’t win if you don’t play!” Yeah, but you can’t lose, either.

[@lucasdaniel_28]

And that's a win

[@gallopinggoose6891]

It's a strange game, the only winning move is not to play.

[@myes344]

I was getting coffee. Daily routine. Saw the machine. Decide to buy 1 tix for 1$. My gf said no. Dont waste $. I won 100. She later brought a tix won 50.

[@EkelundDK]

Every time I don't pay $8 for a ticket, I win $8. All of those tickets I've never bought, made me filthy rich in small steps. If only I've put the money in a jar, though.

[@kylepirko6021]

@Keith Panton no. No, you absolutely do not. Research exactly what "winning" is.

[@jackmaehoph4822]

When I win the lottery, I'm gonna take an eagle scuba diving!

[@grahamstrickland3040]

Let's see how that goes. Make sure to wear something nice to the eagles funeral.

[@vickieclark5931]

LOL.

[@anomalocaris2593]

@@grahamstrickland3040 JoJo logic supports this guy

[@zdu5932]

Fuck you evolution, I decide who swims!

[@CGrantL]

Jokes on you, they already dive for fish

[@knackwarrior8839]

Gambling addiction hotlines would be so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.

[@vivangreco1710]

I'm stealing the shit out of this comment.

[@billharris1847]

Excellent

[@RaymondRossell]

Aaaaaaaaaacid!

[@Papopiringa]

KNACK warrior Awesome! 🤣🤣🤣

[@siddhayak]

I think we just found the most perfect comment on the whole of KZbin.

[@TopFurret]

Back in middle school, we'd write essays. Sometimes the prompt was "what would you do if you won the lottery?" Starting the gambling problems early eh?

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

That makes sense, capitalism works by making the middle and lower classes having the illusion that they will be rich one day. But everybody knows how the majority of the rich are rich, they were born rich, studied on schools so expensive no middle class could pay, went on the best and most expensive universities, had aid from relatives who are also rich to get good job seats since start. A very few number of people rise from the lower classes to becoming real rich, but those are only the ones who succeeded at being smarter and more efficient than the ones who had good schools and such, and is just one technique to make people believe they will be rich one day.

[@G0DofRock]

..Dat fucked. lol We just wrote essays about books we read or relevant topics, not hopeless fantasies and what you would do with financial power.

[@Deriak27Forever]

Hope is a human value, and society, not just capitalism, exploits it in earnest. Sadly, that's just how things work. People like to play the game of the gambler's fallacy: a bad result will immediately be balanced by a good result. But that's not how percentages work. Very few are the people that embrace pragmatism and hard logic while retaining a shred of idealism in their soul. Because as the social exchange theory suggests, altruism is not really "free", it's just a means to an end, or a gamble. You hope something good will come to you from that good gesture.

[@MsZsc]

That's pretty funny but the question is a good way to find out a bit about a person's personality.

[@puzzles7413]

I would haunt Davy Hutchinson

[@imaloony8]

I work at a casino. I know how this works. I'm actually shocked by the number of my fellow dealers who do gamble. Like... seriously, you see how this typically goes man.

[@Widdekuu91]

@imaloony8 I once sat across a guy in the train and he proudly told the other person on the phone that he had a new job, in the casino. He said; 'Yeah man, it's all rigged. You can keep throwing stuff in and once every 40 times, something comes out, relatively big enough to make 'em continue. They make about (large number of money) an hour, (so-somany) a day! It's ridiculous, I'm getting (number) money and that's only for cleaning tables and bringing drinks. Some people are really weird, they're fixated on the screens, just keep throwing the pennies in, it's really weird, this older lady went away to get more money and started selling her jewelry/belongings. I'm telling you man, some of these people go nuts for gambling." He then realised the whole compartment had been listening.

[@jajaxaxa]

@@Widdekuu91 It's all about quantity of players really. You only need the odds to favor the house ever so slightly and you'll get big income if you just have a lot of players. Roulette for example is 18 red 18 black and the zeroes. Putting you money on either red or black will give you nearly 50% chance at doubling up but not quite. And so the casino cant really take a huge bet that is worth as much as the entire casino because even if the odds do favor them, losing it all is still very likely. However, taking millions of small bets that are worth the same amount combined are virtually guaranteed profit and big profit at that. So yeah the games are all rigged, they have to be or the casinos would go out of business but they only have to be ever so slightly rigged. I don't know how much they are, I imagine that depends on the game, but for an individual player the odds aren't always that bad. The lottery is another matter entirely though.

[@Widdekuu91]

@@jajaxaxa Well, I think he was mainly talking about the machines, not the tables. Roulette is only on the table, right?

[@jajaxaxa]

@@Widdekuu91 Sure but the same principle applies, I was only bringing up roulette because the odds are easy to see and calculate.

[@Widdekuu91]

@@jajaxaxa Alright, I got what you mean :)

[@obviously1871]

"1 in 4 car accidents are caused by texting and driving" People: "won't be me" "1 in 302,575,350 chance of winning a lottery" People: "hey, you never know"

[@jozen5384]

bad example, because 1 in 4 lottery winners was texting and playing

[@seiyuokamihimura5082]

@@jozen5384 but were they texting while driving while they won the lottery? If not its not a bad one.

[@jozen5384]

@@seiyuokamihimura5082 it is because he should be comparing the chances of getting into an accident because texting

[@SS-nx2xx]

Your argument is inherently flawed

[@jozen5384]

@@SS-nx2xx whose

[@willkoestner4159]

Once, my girl and I thought it would be amusing to spend a night at local video slot machine. Burn some cash, get drunk, do something new. We saw a guy railing slots like his life depended on it. Eventually noticed his son had his face pressed against the glass that separated the gambling area from common area. Couldn't be older than 10. Eventually his wife came in. She ignored the kid, got into a shouting match, and took his wallet and the food stamps he had on him. After she left he pulled cash out of his sock and kept going Worse things have happened, but it's something I can't forget. That fucking kid. Idk

[@casualeann]

so sad...

[@RupertWins]

Whoever writes this show is pretty brilliant.

[@PrinceAppalling]

+Eugene Choi Well, him plus an entire staff of writers and researchers

[@RupertWins]

PrinceAppalling Yeah, someone's definitely helping.

[@christenbutters4975]

one writer includes my old high school friend Josh Gondelman

[@davidbrusilovsky1877]

+Rupert Q most likely jewish writers.

[@kathyschrenk75]

+David Brusilovsky nice.

[@catsadilla324]

Winning the lottery is like taking one of those $10 LEGO sets, throwing all the pices onto a table, and them all landing in the correct positions as the fully assembled product.

[@gigabic7487]

No, it is like buying the $200+ Millennium Falcon model and throwing the pieces into the dishwasher, running it for an hour, and expecting it to be perfectly assembled when you take it out.

[@DannyBoy...]

No, It's like buying thousands of dollars of wood and brick, throwing it all into a volcano and expecting to find a house at the bottom.

[@diypictures]

Doc Von Doom Since none of these suggestions could possibly even happen I'd say its a bit of a stretch.

[@catsadilla324]

diypictures it possibly could. Nobody's really tried it as often as people play lotto and the odds are just too high so you, or nobody really, has ever seen it. If you throw the pieces the same amount of times as people play lotto in a given lifetime then we'll talk.

[@diypictures]

Doc Von Doom Seriously?? Lol okay.

[@todddoetken2594]

Iowa's former governor Terry Branstad worked for several years trying to begin a state lottery. He finally passed it by promising that ALL profit would go to public schools. No more than 3% of lottery profits have ever gone to our public educational system. Iowa's public education was #1 until Governor Branstad made drastic cuts that literally destroyed it. Iowa's public education is no longer something Iowans can brag about.

[@henryparker8779]

I simply doesn't understand the breadth of state politicians who put education as a low priority. It either comes from extreme ignorance or just plain evilness. What else is a better cause to spend state money?

[@stinew358]

Iowa has never been #1 in education

[@todddoetken2594]

@@stinew358 - Incorrect. Ever heard of the Iowa Test of Basic Skills? Do just the slightest bit of research and you will LEARN of Iowa's public educational system has been ranked as in the top position for decades.

[@justanoman6497]

Any and all dedicated purpose funding, be it lottery, tax or whatever else, is nonsense. Because, and this might be a surprise to some people, money is fungible. All that really happens is an increase in dedicated revenue but decrease in general fund for the intended purpose, thus effectively "saving" general fund which means it might as well simply went to the general fund. Unless there are dedicated clause in the bills assuring existing sources will be kept and increased to match inflation, the dedicated purpose bit is useless. And they never include that clause, because why would they? Natrually, there are exceptions where the dedicated funding source is the only funding source, but that is pretty rare. Usually small ecological or infra project, definitinely not something as large as education.

[@capuletnew]

When I was in school one of my teachers, can't remember which one, called the lottery the idiot tax. It's an unfair game since there isn't always a winner and it preys on people's dreams.

[@tomlxyz]

There not always being a winner is the least of the problems as that money is usually just accumulated

[@L1VE3V1L]

John Oliver is a goddamn legend. Utterly decimates all those in his crosshairs

[@rileyfreeman7836]

+James McDonald his writers deserve all the credit not him

[@jarehelt]

+James McDonald Steven Colbert poops all over John Stewart and Oliver and then they beg for more.

[@rileyfreeman7836]

+jarehelt lol what

[@L1VE3V1L]

Of course he doesn't write it. But you need to be charismatic enough to deliver it, and with the amount of viewers this show gets.....he's a legend.

[@xxMortanisxx]

+Ivan wright The writers of LWT definitely deserve credit, and as one of the writers, that includes Oliver himself.

[@Thenextworldwar]

Who else would watch Slumshark Gillionaire?

[@Newfiecat]

Thenextworldwar I totally would!

[@MrPiccoloku]

Thenextworldwar I'm guessing it's playing on SyFy right now.

[@fm5280]

Only if it's directed by Uwe Boll or M. Night Shaymalan.

[@rosagibson6570]

Thenextworldwar Everyone who watched Sharknado.

[@someonenow1]

AERODYNAMIK11 Better. If it was directed, produced, written by and STARRING Tommy Wiseau.

[@kittykake44]

As an Oregonian, this is literally the first time I've heard John Oliver say a bad thing about Oregon. It's actually kinda refreshing.

[@sarahamira5732]

Same here with illinois

[@chezshirecat1872]

Florida is one of those states that USED to give money to the schools, but over the last ten years the schools have been unfunded and my county had to add a tax to the vote to fix the schools

[@xvxvcaspervxvx]

As someone who use to work at a casino...its disgusting too be told to take everything you can and not say anything to the player that may encourage them to stop gambling. Literally, thousands of dollars spent and you know these people don't have the money to support themselves or their families and clearly have a problem..."but it's their choice to keep playing" until they ask you for help; most do not. Worst job ever! And I use to sell credit cards at grocery stores!

[@peterpiper7441]

+xvxvcaspervxvx You seem to have had a whole slew of 'worst jobs ever'. It's true and I admit that sometimes you have to take any job that's out there but might I suggest that, as you seem to have a bit of compassion, if you employed your skills in helping people you could sleep better at night.

[@Najjarboyz3]

+xvxvcaspervxvx The issue is that you cant tell someone to stop because its their choice, the same goes for overweight people for example. Obviously the morally right thing to do is tell them to stop, but that wont stop them. Even IF there is a law where you can stop people from gambling, if they have an issue they will just find a new place to gamble. My brother used to work in a gaming section of a sports club, and I went up once with him and saw a guy put $500 into 5 machines (100 each) and another guy play 4 slot machines. It was sad to watch but there is nothing they can do, its at the point where if you say anything you get abused, and its not illegal.

[@nothanks4323]

i work at a small newsagency that sells lotto and while it’s not that bad it’s similar. people spend 400-500 dollars on tickets and quick picks and all these things and i’m encouraged to effectively milk them for everything they have. even in our training they barely mentioned gambling issues aside from ‘on our posters there are barely visible hotlines that can help people if they want it, it’s not your job to help or stop people. it’s their choice.’ for perspective, most people have to ask me the prize amount and that’s the one thing clearly advertised on the posters.

[@EebstertheGreat]

You are legally prohibited from selling an intoxicated person alcohol. There could conceivably be a law like that for gambling, though it might be harder to implement.

[@SapphireCrook]

So, let me get this straight. The [American] government bans weed to protect you from a (supposedly) life ruining addiction, but has no problem actively marketing this other life ruining addiction? Man, the hypocrisy is strong with this one.

[@emaldonadokpcr]

Great point!

[@wenxinche9178]

the drug money is not going into their pockets ... when was the last time the government did something for just 'a good cause'?

[@BuFFoTheArtClown]

Not quite true... The government banned Weed because of prejudices and racism towards mexicans in the 20's and 30's. That ban just stayed in place 3/4 a century, and are now just slowly breaking down because, you know, the government is realizing politicians and the rich can make money off of weed. The government couldn't give fuck all for addictions, and instead, fans the addiction flames to make more bank.

[@SapphireCrook]

BuFFoTheArtClown I've heard a term I really liked. Whales. How this economy looks for whales. Heavy users of Cola, chocolate, etc, instead of a large but steady audience they want a few addicted heavy users. Soon, they'll take to the moon to escape the law, and they'll be whalers on the moon.

[@albinosmurf3174]

Supposedly weed, as a drug, can cause a chemical imbalance in your head which can change the way your brain works, whether permanently or temporarily. Seeing as you don't inject, inhale, or in any way physically absorb gambling or any of its by-products into your body, it's pretty easy to draw a distinction.

[@johanvangjensen189]

When the news is a joke And the comedian gives actual news

[@yazminmata809]

*retweet

[@mk677hd]

still valid

[@amberdeyuliis7886]

It hurts how much that's STILL true

[@RadMan224]

You do realize he uses a ton of news clips within his piece to provide evidence right? He's literally done multiple pieces about them and mentions it

[@galenibble]

@@RadMan224 well, you're totally right. But I still have the feeling that reality is broken in a way of tragicomedy and current local news (which this show loves) allow to see it too.

[@FrostReave]

I remember these episodes where John was so full of life and hope.

[@TheColonelKlink]

Coming soon; State Sponsored Brothels for Better Schools.

[@archibaldedelacourderecre5242]

personnes

[@Sprinkle_the_7th]

+Garrett Shook would just like to clarify, as a fellow Nevadan, the state doesn't get any revenue from the brothels. They have no taxes because it would be seen as legitamizing the business.

[@TheImpiroGirl]

Nice

[@moncala7787]

I'd hit that Jackpot

[@Left4Coragem]

Every pound you give here, is 1 dollar for education. :P

[@nitpicker9406]

I am one of the most successful lottery players in the history of the lottery. My fool-proof system has never failed. My strategy is simple: Don't play the lottery. Over the last 10 years, I have won $0 playing the lottery, which puts me in the top .005% of players.

[@svader9680]

+Hidious Vanity Thats amazing. If only I could convince my dad.

[@AMoistEggroll]

+Svader96 I feel ya. Sadly my dad made me play some sort of lottery game with him in which I have to get 5 lottery tickets. He gets 2 while I get 3. Whoever wins win. I cringe every time he brings this up and, him being an Asian dad, it's damn near difficult to convince him.

[@Tapster2010]

+Hidious Vanity I have used the same strategy

[@Beercat96]

I've played once, doubled my money. that's the end of that. only played once because I never had before

[@andromidius]

+Hidious Vanity Actually you're technically up! By not spending let's say the minimum $1 a week you've saved yourself $520!

[@reenougle]

John Oliver is erudite and hysterically funny at the same time. And he talks about important issues no other show touches. I absolutely adore this show.

[@Dutch3DMaster]

While we have a somewhat similar show in The Netherlands that touches on subjects here and is funny in it's own right, I have seen multiple clips from other American shows with the same concept like John Oliver's Last Week Tonight, but the simple fact John Oliver, being British makes it more common for him to make a fool of himself at times, and the speed at which some of the jokes are fired at you, makes other shows be "different" (it's hard to explain what it is next to him being British).

[@ricochet4674]

_checks off on word of the day calendar_

[@mojeminifilmy1973]

shame he isn't there for every country

[@g.d.graham2446]

Agreed

[@Karlach_]

I only know what erudite means because I read the Divergent book series. Thanks for nothing public school.

[@Marky11694]

2:34 With a Slogan like Everybody Wins I’m surprised no one’s ever Sued The Lottery for False Advertising

[@ryanzarmbinski7446]

Slumshark Gillionaire was pretty clever

[@nightday4647]

As a child of a gambling addict, those stupid slot machines made my life hell. I don't care if it is revenue for the states, I'll be goddamned if I'm ever touching one. Fuck gambling.

[@bibinraj2000]

please GTFO

[@josepunkthrashdude]

flyingfricks main reason gambling was killed off for me before I even turned 18. we had our car repossed and low on food plus getting to school every morning was a fucking pain as is. all while trying to be a normal law abiding kid who was always yelled at for basically no reason. all while I got to witness most of my good friends with more positive and privileged backgrounds. my life felt ruined before I made it worse as an adult

[@theFriendlyGhst]

Your parent made your life hell.

[@JohnPatterson-kz8jr]

In all fairness and honesty,while I sympathize with you about growing up with a parent with a gambling problem,it's not like these machines reach out and grab you by the arm and make you play!!

[@peterh3213]

I have the exact same aversion to coffee... all my family addicted 😓 I was swearing to never touch one and with 1 espresso exception in 2014 I stayed addict-free all my life ⚡

[@moonshadow7057]

Lottery: While rich people evade their taxes, poor people rush to pay their taxes

[@chiliparmesan0832]

Mana Montana Rich people literally launder money through international banks and through non-profits that don’t spend half the money they have invested in them. Yes they evade taxes

[@drake7993]

@@mayainverse9429 Its almost like the government has been corporate controlled during most of its existence. Using tax loop holes to pay less in taxes is evading taxes dumb fuck

[@spybird5870]

@@mayainverse9429 you dumb fuck, middle class pays more in taxes than quintillionaires and when your precious republicunt party gives tax cuts, the money goes from middle class straight into the pockets of the 1%. you fuckhead

[@jackbennett6902]

@@spybird5870 giving tax cuts to the middle class equals moving money from the middle class to the 1%. Because that makes sense.

[@spybird5870]

@@jackbennett6902 yeah it doesn't. and you think it's the same because you're a dumbass republican, just like most republicans innyour shithole of a country.

[@drewjames-hyperkiddstudios7826]

I don't play the lottery or gamble for the same reasons I don't drink, which is why I thought your last comparison was pretty great. Simply put, I don't have a moral objection. I just don't trust myself to gamble or drink responsibly so I abstain altogether.

[@MultiMolly21]

I don't drink because it tastes like shit and destroys your mind. I fail to see the attraction. Both my parents you might say "elegantly, functionally" ruined their lives drinking "responsibly" before they both died of alcohol related diseases at 64. I'm 76, fit as a fiddle.

[@stephenwright8824]

Commendable. I say this as an ACOA, Irish by descent and not drunk for over ten years.

[@robertolmstead1346]

I have this saying: Don’t start something people go through hell to quit.

[@johnpatterson4816]

@@MultiMolly21 Good for you.

[@ToastyMozart]

@@MultiMolly21 Yeah I don't see a whole lot of appeal in having to acquire a taste that is neither cheap nor healthy.

[@sentdex]

The lottery, otherwise known as the poor tax.

[@leoram9326]

Lottery is the tax for being stupid

[@AdrianHorn]

A tax on the statistically-challenged.

[@porcorosso89]

A tax on hope.

[@Arinoch]

Leo Ram Or desperate.

[@leoram9326]

Mike No, he already talked about the tax for being desperate, it is call "Payday loan`s monthly fee"

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

The lottery: the last laugh of people who didn't decide that math had "no real life uses".

[@BaskenmannZwei]

That would be compound interests. A topic John needs to address.

[@skrysiak]

Plot twist: one of those lottery tickets John Oliver bought for a quick throwaway gag turned out to be a winning ticket, and that's how the production company can afford all those expensive shenanigans in later episodes

[@aperson6242]

That reminds me of a story my dad told me when he was eight him and my grandpa were driving through Las Vegas. They stopped at a gas station which had a slot machine. My dad asked him for a quarter to play but my grandpa thought this would be a good lesson to show how bad gambling was he put in a quarter and pull the lever, expecting him to win nothing instead, he hit the jackpot And got a ton of quarters. Thanks for playing the life lesson lottery. Better luck next time grandpa.😂

[@DewMan001]

​@@aperson6242wasn't that the same story as those Singaporean gambling ads? m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/fnywf36JYp6onbs

[@uthmanbaksh3530]

I actually tweeted out that you'll never win the lottery around the time that the Mega Millions jackpot was $1.6 Billion, A lot of people got mad at me even though I was speaking the truth. None of those people that attacked me online won!

[@cathyleatherman3097]

Ofcourse

[@angeloluna529]

if the lottery supports schools, why does my school have shitty food and outdated textbooks

[@The65chevelle]

Because our government blows

[@angeloluna529]

Ryan Wow maybe thats the case

[@harrymorris2361]

How outdated are the textbooks?, and you should come to the UK, the school food is edible, not great, but it's not like the horror stories you hear from the us

[@RighteousThunder32]

Are you a Kentucky resident?

[@sgtcojonez]

+Angelo Luna That profile pic though...

[@RomanBV]

To be honest, trying to win the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airlines.

[@peterpiper7441]

Yes, but that's a much more expensive hobby. ;(

[@marclinares6137]

The irony... Holy Smokes...

[@scheve1994]

john129flip Before it happened bro.

[@RomanBV]

Guys, you may be a bit piseed- but why is that ironic? Too early? What? I don't get it. D:

[@aaaltier]

Roman BV The Germanwings plane crash was believed to be perpetrated by suicide

[@nhoussin]

Much more honest than any Michael Moore flick: that guy came in France (where I spent my childhood and still live) a few years ago and basically claimed that nice, healthy and almost luxury food was delivered in every school at lunch (in comparison with US schools). Turns out he picked a particular school on one particular day. Believe me, food at lunch is nowhere near what he showed.

[@Vorusen]

I've been struck by lightning while I was being eating by a shark, then the shark hit the powerball smh

[@Elle-mq8ij]

The shark should have cut you in under the table. I'm assuming it was a British shark.

[@EndlessSummer888]

A man asked his wife "what would you do if I won the lottery?" She said "take half and leave your ass." He said "good. I won twelve dollars. Here's six, now get out."

[@Stealingiscaring]

lol

[@ZodiacGF]

+cromusic ibra I dont get it

[@EndlessSummer888]

+ZodK The man had a lottery ticket and only won $12 from it (winning the lottery doesn't always mean hitting the jackpot). He played his ticket, won 12 bucks.

[@Nilguiri]

+ZodK Stay in school.

[@agodasavagegod4323]

I need more on this story

[@matthewbaxter5825]

Having graduated from the NC education system, I can vouch for the fact that it needs more money. Teachers are constantly leaving for better paying jobs, and in one class, the teacher had to photocopy the pages out about three different textbooks and give us packets of like 50 pages at a time because the school couldn't afford new textbooks.

[@HerHollyness]

But they could afford packs of 50 photocopies for a class of 30 kids? That's 1500 copies. A copy costs on average 3p (I'm English - that's like 4 cents), so that teacher spent $60 just on copies. As a teacher myself, I know we're not allowed to copy that much. Your school probably would have preferred to spend that $60 on more books or better food. In short, your teacher was an idiot. Sorry.

[@matthewbaxter5825]

***** That's $60 per class, which over 4 classes is only $240. when u consider that each textbook probably costs at least $60 per book, that is massive savings in the short run, but I didn't really learn much in the class. Also, he definitely was an idiot when it came to teaching.

[@phanatic215]

I bet the governor was sitting back sipping lemonade and signing bill that enabled some shadow business to get the money that should have gone to the school.

[@matthewbaxter5825]

phanatic215 that's not actually right. he's busy making laws that are hurting the economy, but that is a discussion for another time.

[@phanatic215]

Matthew Baxter I think once you go through the trials to get elected, you owe so many people because of contributions, you have to do private donor's bidding. Sad that we know the problem is money influencing politics, but we keep voting for people that are running on multi million dollar campaigns. How do you say the state, city, county is hurting for money, and have millions in donations? I'd just save all that money people donate and appropriate it to the schools and underfunded programs. There's no way in hell you need millions to run for office...not in 2016 with Facebook, KZbin, Twitter, and the 24 hour news cycle.

[@ThatGuy-te9wh]

"44 states have lotteries" *Shows Alabama, Mississippi, Alaska, Utah, and Nevada blacked out* unexpected bunch.

[@andrewdalvet7832]

Mississippi has a lottery now. I promise you it's true cause I made the tickets for them at IGT lmao. It's shitty to see states add lotteries man. It's just a tax on people begging for a break from economic hardship.

[@lenblack1462]

Utah is a Mormon state, they are opposed to gambling.

[@almostunliketea]

Nevada probably doesn’t have a lottery cause that will take money from the casinos

[@philp6754]

Does that add to 49?

[@superdyl]

Yeah, Utah isn’t unusually because it’s populations majority are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which is opposed to gambling.

[@roflninja777]

Can we all just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that the kid in the red jacket during the NY lottery commercial was fuckin GETTING it

[@YouRegolo]

"out of 24 states, 21 did not provide any additional funds for education. As math students in those states would put it: that is nearly 50%." It took me a while for this one.

[@BobBob-of7fg]

You have more of a chance getting struck by lightning while getting eaten by a shark? Challenge accepted

[@SkatTheGoblin]

+sk0sH But who doesn't hold a metal pole in a thunderstorm?

[@ebubechioti7410]

+Unknown Channel Lol

[@gravityperceus]

Well, I don't know the odds of getting struck by lightning while getting eaten by a shark , but the chances of winning the lottery are less than the chances of getting struck by lightning *twice*. The chances of that happening is 1 in 9 million. The chances of getting struck by lightning while drowning are 1 in 183 million and even that's barely higher than winning the lottery. In fact, there was a jackpot that was less likely than that at 1 in 292 million.

[@ackbarfan5556]

Here lies Kevin De Souza. He proved us wrong.

[@Warden_Vtel]

Rest in Pieces Kevin De Souza He's a shark's lunch now

[@DepressinglyOptimistic]

Comedian: this is the truth about lotteries and why you're being swindled. News: the lottery is up to such-and-such amount and we have a professional here to tell you what to do when you win.

[@JohnVanderbeck]

Never once felt the urge to play a lottery. I play in casinos from time to time, but I simply see it as paying for entertainment and never expect to win anything. Did I read that map right though, the one state most known for gambling, Nevada, DOESN'T have a lottery? Coincidence? I'm guessing they don't' bother because they already make plenty of money from gambling.

[@DaDunge]

We used to buy lottery tickets from my scouting organisation when I was a kid, but at least there I know it's not going to go to tax cuts.

[@chantelsimmons2416]

"Leave your wife for Amber without signing a prenup." John Oliver, zinging Johnny Depp two years early.

[@AMinnie]

Chantel Donnan omg I didn't even think about it

[@reganpetty8803]

Joke doesn't work now tho

[@GoatAndDog]

I'm just going reply in hopes you get a notification about this comment

[@chantelsimmons2416]

@@GoatAndDog I did get a notification! Talk about a joke that soured with time lol

[@GoatAndDog]

Correct

[@GirlPantsProductions]

I imagine Katie Holmes watching this as her eyes slowly widen and her breath becomes slower and slower.

[@amorbavian]

Say what?

[@GirlPantsProductions]

amorbavian He mentioned how terrifying marrying Tom Cruise can be.

[@leyrua]

I found this channel a few weeks ago, and now I'm binging on all of the old episodes. ❤️

[@xgimi456]

You must have been the one person having the time of their life in 2022 hahaha

[@rainbowroadthekilljoy8]

Watching the closing bit I immediately thought "So nice to see Dr Ian Duncan again," lol.

[@amybradu1767]

Is it bad I'd watch slumshark gilionare.

[@StardustLegend]

+Andrew Bradu I'd watch hit out of pure curiosity XD

[@xinic5]

+Andrew Bradu SyFy needs to get with John Oliver and make that shit happen. It'd be way better than a FOURTH Sharknado

[@amybradu1767]

+xinic5 wait I didn't even know they made a second

[@xinic5]

Andrew Bradu Theres been 3 so far. Or at least since I last heard, probably now 6 or something...

[@MasterChief117Aisha]

No

[@victorbjorklund]

haha, I lauged in the end. Here in Sweden the goverment runs all liquor stores and takes out the earnings to spend on eductation etc.

[@Tapster2010]

+Victor Björklund that sounds awesome

[@carrottop1107]

+Victor Björklund The difference is that they do it to reduce alcoholism. They have no ads, they close at 6 pm on weekdays and 2 pm on saturdays, they are closed on sundays and they even have an APP to promote responsible drinking. Jag förstår att du vet detta, men ville bara förklara för alla utlänningar som inte vet så att de inte dömer sättet vi gör det. :)

[@Art_From_Tezikovka]

In Democratically Socialist Sweden, government pays You, to go to college.

[@victorbjorklund]

SwaggotTop That is a lie. They do have ads. They cash in huge from the sales so you shouldn't be under any illusion that they actually want people to drink less.

[@j.craiganderson4978]

+Victor Björklund I live in Maine, right here in the USA, and the state government does the exact same thing. All alcohol sales are controlled by the state, and it even has a marketing budget to promote its alcohol sales.

[@Craftymom1o19]

I have to say this since I live in Illinois and was here when it happened: the only reason state law makers FINALLY sent then Governor Rauner a Budget he would actually sign (he refused to sign an unbalanced budget) was because the National Lottery was threatening to shutdown in Illinois because the state could no longer pay out on winning tickets. It wasn’t the threat that our credit rating would drop, or the interest on our loans would go up. Nope. The terrifying prospect of loosing all those sweet sweet lottery funds is what lit the fire in our law maker’s souls to finally do something after 3 FRACKING YEARS WITHOUT A BUDGET.

[@RaineStormFlood]

"It would be a little strange if the state was in the liquor business, claiming that every shot of vodka you drink helps schoolchildren learn." **cries in Utahn**

[@Joesolo13]

PA too. Honestly I don't hate it, you can't ban these things so might as well let it contribute to society. I really wish advertising was restricted though.

[@theshamanite]

Finland collects its taxes thru sales tax. Couldn't hurt to do that here.

[@peterhaha8183]

@@theshamanite Lots of US states have sales taxes. Oregon is kind of an anomaly in that they don't.

[@user-if8po5pu7j]

@@peterhaha8183 same thing with Delaware and several other states

[@user-if8po5pu7j]

@@theshamanite there is sales tax in most of the states of the U.S.

[@Nobodyimportant85]

I'm a conservative and I still hate the lottery. My whole life I've known the lottery is just a cheap way to get revenue out of the lower-income population without raising taxes, and it makes me sick.

[@ydunduntalmud705]

finally a conservative who makes sence

[@Nobodyimportant85]

Garrett Shook Did I say I wanted too?

[@AvianSavara]

Well I don't think resenting an obvious bad deal belongs to any specific ideology. As soon as you notice what a scam it is the less you want to have to do anything with it.

[@Necroskull388]

That's the whole reason it exists. It's borderline impossible to raise taxes in this nation. But if you have some friends with a lot of money who would be willing to support your reelection, then it's sure as hell easy to lower those taxes.

[@puzzles7413]

We need more Tessie.

[@jovyep]

friend: hey were do you get your news from? cnn, fox, buzzfeed., Me:HBO

[@anjaleanagonzalez1800]

HEY! 😩 That penguin finally got to fly 🙌😂

[@seigeengine]

You know, there's no greater summary of the USA imo than "Class Warfare."

[@Appletank8]

My personal strategy is that whenever I think about buying a lottery ticket, I look up the price for buying one, and stick that amount in a box. In a year or so, I open the box and get amazed at my "winnings" For slot machines, I can just peek over someone's shoulder, tally how much he/she loses, and stick that amount of money in a box and laugh.

[@Appletank8]

For the Record, I'm still in college and don't have a job. Nor am I old enough to play in casinos. I just get annoyed when my parents buy lottery tickets. 1 to 175 million ain't good odds, people.

[@placeholderdoe]

⁠@@Appletank8there are 7 billion people on earth! Think about if 175 mil/7 billion, I’ll only lose a lot of money!

[@staticprimer]

On John's last point, I live in NC. Here, liquor is heavily regulated by the state. You can only buy liquor from state operated shops (ABC stores) or licensed restaurants/bars (and even then, only by the drink). In the ABC stores, they make it a point to show how much liquor sales have gone towards funding... you guessed it... education.

[@annebeach6630]

+staticprimer Same in Utah. Its super regulated and the sales taxes fund education... they also make it a point to let us know how much its funding education in some stores.

[@michaelg2502]

Same in Tennessee, but grocery stores will be able to carry wine come July. Trader Joe's here i come :P

[@benjaminortola5756]

+Michael Giblock They have Trader Joe's in Tennessee? Guess it's nationwide, then.

[@michaelg2502]

Yep cant wait for July!!!!

[@davemukherjee149]

Same in Canada you can only buy alcohol from two stores (the beer store and the LBCO), restaurants and wine from groceries stores

[@theguywhoisaustralian1465]

"Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on stupid people?" ~Brian from Family Guy

[@ronensuperexplainer]

Those are some high quality words

[@ceofounder]

John Oliver for president 2020! Last week tonight is cable television awesomeness!

[@wingedbluj1674]

Technically, he can't be president. He moved here from the UK.

[@ceofounder]

@@wingedbluj1674 Technically; I need for you to go have a fun filled and wonderful day. There are so many other great posts/comments that you reply too! Jesus Christ!

[@sookabeth]

I was going to remark that John wasn't born here, but according to some Obama was from Kenya....so... 😂

[@stephenwright8824]

@@sookabeth No, we can be sure about John. Check his shows on Immigration; he describes the processes and tells how it was for himself.

[@corvusprojects]

So... Lotteries are taxes on people who don't understand math?

[@Synochra]

they do this but they wont legalize cannabis

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

thank the gods. America is too much retarded already with all these stuff.

[@mikeoneil908]

with these stuff lol

[@SOPDX01]

Oregon has.

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

please legalize, give room for China.

[@Kill4ism]

I think people would lose more IQ points from reading your comment's than a bong hit ever would Luke.

[@KrustyFrank27]

“It’d be pretty bad if the states were in the liquor business...” *cries in Pennsylvanian*

[@rickdavis1782]

They are in Maryland believe it or not

[@stephenriggs8177]

Washington used to be. Now, we can get it at Costco.

[@ScruffyDTv]

John Oliver: I bought all these lottery tickets! Me: F****** scratch em!

[@Nozerone]

The problem isn't just people blowing through their winnings. When someone wins a huge jackpot, if they don't have a team of lawyers, and financial advisers, and such. They can find themselves in a very hard place when they are quickly targeted by groups trying to take their money. Many huge jackpot winners have found themselves in court trying to dispute claims of unpaid charges for a service they have never used. I don't know what all is involved with these lawsuits, but from what I hear they can be very hard to fight, and some people have lost resulting in them paying a large portion of their winnings to people or a company they had never been in contact with until after they won, and the lawsuit was started. If you ever are lucky enough to win a jackpot. Be anonymous about it, don't go telling everyone. Get yourself a good lawyer, and someone to help manage all the money. The people who target these jackpot winners are counting on the fact that you don't know the legal system, and you aren't prepared to handle your money properly.

[@whensomethingcriesagain]

Maybe... show up to collect your winnings with a bag over your head

[@Irish25cent]

What unpaid charges do you mean? And in some states you cannot remain anonymous after winning.

[@arnabiarnab3037]

Typically it’s the lawyers and financial advisors that steal most of the money

[@Nozerone]

@@Irish25cent Doesn't matter what the unpaid charges are, the point is that there are people who will go after a jackpot winner with false claims that the winner owes them money. If the winner and their lawyer can't prove that the winner never owed that person money, that person could win the lawsuit and get a payout.

[@apricot747]

Lottery is technically tax on dumb people but i hate that the money is not going where it is supposed to be.

[@aserta]

Yup. Dumb tax.

[@sawtooth808]

Americancy Yes Lotteries (and VLT's, Bingo, Horse/Dog Racing, and Casino's and those are legal outlets, not factoring in deplorable contests Rooster fighting, Dog Fighting, using little people as darts like in Wolf of Wall Street) are taxes on stupidity, but they're more palatable than for example massive property tax hikes. "People are more easily governed by their vices, rather than their virtues" Napolean

[@sawtooth808]

Oh clarification American States *do not* I repeat they *do not* profit off of rooster fights, dog fights, and using little people like darts in Wolf of Wall Street, they are illegal and deplorable

[@jonassamuel4376]

Americancy There is so much wrong with your statement, i won't even begin to argue with you... I hope you still have some years to grow up and educate yourself, good luck!

[@MaxwellTornado]

Aaron Dunlap Excuse me, did you say dog racing? Where can i sign the "Let ebola kill all idiots" petition again?

[@Whatsayoutuber]

As a 20 year old Alabamian who grew up with no lottery, I have had 2 winning lottery experiences, and I think I’d like to keep it that way. When I was 16, I went on a small field trip to Florida with my favorite teacher, and they bought lotto tickets for themself and another kid, and we scratched them off on a hotel Bible 😂 great bonding moment. This year, my first ever landlord (a horribly confusing one, of course), sent us all Christmas cards with Christmas scratchers in Missouri, and that was just adorably odd to me. My roommates, an Illinoian and a Nevadan, were somewhat less bewildered. Anyway, that’s two wins and I think I should keep it that way.

[@KillerAJ]

They need to make a law that mandates that lottery winners identities remain private.

[@chongl.4679]

I bet when John and his writers think of an idea for a new episode, they probably ask themselves, "Which industry should we shit on today?"

[@yayafitini]

WHY THIS KIND OF SHOW IS NOT ON NATIONAL TV LIKE CBS ?

[@lobecosc]

DAEMON33 HBO is owned by CBS. That's good enough. Besides, he can't get away with all the language.

[@yayafitini]

forget the language, how about the message?

[@lobecosc]

DAEMON33 I'm with you. Too much BS on CBS already. I say keep it on cable.

[@Linkie-link]

DAEMON33 Why isn't this the actual news? Lol

[@michaelkwright]

Lmao Americans can't swear on TV XD

[@thehuntress8850]

wouldn't it be a funny irony if one of john olivers ticket turned out the be the missing powerball winner, and he just hadn't recognized it yet!!!!!!😂

[@Whatsayoutuber]

I had absolutely no idea we collectively spent THAT MUCH on lotteries. I live in Alabama (no lottery), so my feelings and thoughts towards lotteries have usually been vague. I know in some communities they can trap people into expensive false hope. But $68 billion is so so high, I think with just that I’m already way more concerned about lotteries.

[@asherael]

So cute when people tout "personal responsibility" and "Making a choice" about addictions like drugs and gambling like the human mind isn't the most vulnerable machine to casual hacking. These people are suffering terribly, and people just scold them like it helps anyone. Like it's fun.

[@misspatvandriverlady7555]

Scolding the poor and sick is the third national sport, after concussing strong, healthy young men and shooting at whatever moves, or doesn't.

[@PraiseTheFSMonster]

@Brutus Tan Do you have any understanding of what an addiction is? Certain people are vulnerable because of the way their brains are wired and corporations who want money use that vulnerability to take advantage of them. Then these people's addictions- with the help of the corporations and brainwashing tactics like manipulative commercials -rob them of their personal freedoms. Go put on your trump shirt, look at your guns and drink a beer dumbass.

[@briannguyen1897]

In all fairness, our brains are all vulnerable machines, and that is something we just have to deal with. It is unfortunate that we create a system where it is legalize to addicting to gambling, which is basically what lottery is. We all just need a healthy dose of good addiction of communication and closeness of other human being; a sense of belonging. Although, I do have to defense lottery a little. I do lottery is a good chance to controls and explore human psych and identify the vulnerable within our communities. Of course, the goals are not to exploit or make fun of them, but to help them. As our modern culture are getting more close minded and toxic, we need people who would care enough to reach out and help instead of letting the true vulture to come pick those who needs most clean. Unfortunately, we are the creature who are only at our best when we have no where to go but up. And please no Trump talk, we all collectively make a mistake, and I hope that we all just agree that everything will be determine in the next election.

[@chompachangas]

Ain't predatory late stage capitalism grand?

[@ryanstreckfuss9590]

Addiction isn't an excuse for being foolish. It's YOUR fault when YOU gamble, do drugs, etc.

[@muzikfreeq2950]

As someone from Illinois, you shouldn't be very surprised at that lottery pop-up. We're not exactly the best when it comes to money managing. I mean, have you seen our politicians?

[@inutonmoms]

Yea the politicians in chicago have zero idea what they are doing

[@shipoopeeeeeeeee]

One thing I ever agreed with my dad about: He called the lottery a "tax on the stupid." 👈 And if they provide so much money for "education," why are public schools so shitty they can't even keep teachers?

[@Anaandreasi]

There is a theory that lotteries are traps for time travelers and a little part of me kinda thinks that makes sense

[@Anaandreasi]

@Turanshah Hafizovitch Muradabubakarov It even explains why so many people die after colecting the prize

[@nellgwyn2723]

Hahaha - now i kind of believe that too

[@ronensuperexplainer]

Mindblow

[@thisismarkbro]

Interesting theory 🤠

[@NomadUrpagi]

What did you watch recently? Too many of science fiction movies? People die because people around them want to rob them.

[@dianaz6067]

omg the tom cruise example was sooo on point 😂😂😂.. i just got out of a relationship with a scientologist and can’t stop laughing at that joke.

[@Ausghan007]

Oh my god this program is just keep getting better and better. Thanks John Oliver you are my hero.

[@NickoftheCosmos]

First video of this show I ever saw, so glad youtube has this clips in case you either miss the show or don't have HBO.

[@timbo1989fl]

Dam I’d love to see an update on this bro you are truly an America hero thanks Jon and all the team working with ya

[@charlesgmcd]

Here's something fun. In Kansas, the only gambling allowed is state owned. the lottery and at least one casino. The only exception is reservation land that the state has no control over. In Missouri, the only privately owned casinos are literally required to have the gaming floor built over rivers so as not to be on "state land". the state is bleeding us dry.

[@badflamer]

How have you guys not grabbed shotguns and machetes and mounted a revolt yet?

[@piercethepotato7287]

+badflamer You forget pickup truck line.

[@badflamer]

always thought pickups were more of texas thing. then again i'm canadian so i really don;t know the specific differences between states of similar dispositions

[@piercethepotato7287]

+badflamer I'm a potato. From Idaho. Them souths will take a trailer or a pickup.

[@kielkruse2660]

Not quite... There's more than a few privately owned casinos here in Kansas.

[@toastinator12]

I worked it out and the odds of being struck by lightning and eaten by a shark simultaneously are actually 1 in 2,623,646,900,000

[@reuben2011]

toast Assuming those events were independent that is :P

[@victoresan]

+benguin so being eaten by a shark would cause the lightning to strike?

[@reuben2011]

+Vizzy Zilla I'm saying that the probability of being struck by lightening is higher if you're currently being eaten by a shark because being eaten by a shark would likely imply that you are outside and thus more prone to be being struck.

[@smee113]

+toast The odds of you being struck by lightning is 1 in 12,000. The odds of you being eaten by a shark is 1 in 11,500,000 (assuming the shark attack is fatal: you can't be eaten if you're not dead). That means that the chances of both happening to you are 1 in 150,000,000,000 (adjusted for the fact that 8% of shark attacks occur below the surface, where lightning couldn't reach you and assuming that the chances of being struck by lightning on the surface are the same as being struck on land). But that's over the course of your entire life. The chances of both happening at the same time is 1 in 6,311,520,000,000,000,000 (by same time, I mean within a minute of each other).

[@rorrim0]

+smee113 wouldn't location also count into those statistics?

[@ericberry8600]

As someone who lives in Oregon, this is painfully true. I've had both friends and family that let those video machines ruin thier lives.

[@kathleenkilmartin5494]

Fun fact, in North Carolina, the state actually is in the liquor business.

[@salakast]

John Oliver in 60 fps? FUCK YEAH!!!

[@buckleygeneration]

Lol, somebody hissed at the "leave your wife for Amber" joke

[@marten7715]

Kobbe Could have been Amber. We can't see the crowd, no?

[@MsArrika]

Originally from Illinois. Moved to Vegas for a year. I'm back in Illinois for a little while, and those slots machines are everywhere now. It's cray.

[@atlanticamnesia]

8:47 that's my car! lmao john we've had our rust bucket since 98' and I never knew it had 6 speakers 😅

[@Md2011956]

My dad buys a lottery ticket every Friday. He says that the only way he gets through the day is the thought that he could possibly leave all of his irritating coworkers and the stupid people who work for him behind at the end of the week if he wins.

[@AmrothYevital]

Maybe he should try starting something for himself Instead of wasting money on lottery you'll never win.

[@josephepps7805]

That's a great way tu c the world!

[@dsdurkes]

A single ticket is not a massive payment and seems reasonable to me a simple small hope. Buying tens of tickets every week would be self-abusive and cause of alarm.

[@gurmeetgrewal4452]

It's sucks when we have to watch a comedian for the real news

[@nabidisla.5086]

Baby Heroin this Show rocks I Love John Oliver peace Out, from germany

[@alaandre004]

Yung TedBounty yes but when he starts taking politics he gets biased

[@alaandre004]

***** yes i would love it if their was a comedian that was not biased and a national news network that says the truth. sadly they are all bought, i stic with alternative media.

[@alaandre004]

***** not good enough we need national stuff

[@danielmoore8592]

I hope you do realize that the onion is mainly a satire and fake news site. It usually takes current events and exaggerates, add comedic elements or something to make fun of it/for comedic purposes. I usually don't comment, but I couldn't this time. So you have to careful with that site, it is more for entertainment than news.

[@quirkyblackenby]

The fingers crossed is actually the universal sign for good luck. Crossing your fingers behind your back is the sign for lying.

[@marlinpierce64]

At 14:05 you said it would be strange if the state was in the liquor business. However, Pennsylvania runs state liquor stores so it is indeed in the liquor business.

[@lonewolfxi86]

It's like a gamble to see which state he's gonna expose every week, and unfortunately I live in NC..so yea. I feel even more ashamed.

[@Gromitz101]

He should do my state next, California. I'm sure we got plenty of fun skeletons in our closet named debt.

[@jcapital1]

And you probably voted like an idiot for the politicians in NC who make this shit happen.

[@gregmiller9710]

jcapital1 Well, it doesn't matter who he voted for, it's not going away, you can't stop it, and people are gamblers and the gov'ts are crooked

[@5kamon]

Paralysisis And San Francisco looks like it's in need of a humanitarian intervention.

[@5kamon]

Are homeless counted as unemployed or residents? I've seen people sleeping under bed covers an on sidewalk in SF and people living on the street who had obvious mental issues.

[@snacktime2497]

Slumshark Millionaire needs to be a real movie.

[@bump8429]

Correction gillionaire

[@getpumped87]

Slipped in a little Professor Duncan there at the end.

[@merissaj4518]

I know this is a 9 year old video, but I love David Mitchell's description of the lottery "It's a tax on hope." That is what I repeat to myself when I see the potential winnings.

[@sluaghsidhe8384]

where are these charitable commercials? All the lottery commercials I've ever seen are "this could be you, with a nice car, mansion and hot girls"

[@alphamale451]

In third world countries I have seen many lives destroyed not because of loosing but the addiction it brings along.

[@bluejanis5317]

That applies for first world countries too.

[@averagejoe6031]

In America. Instead of taxing rich people to pay for education, we tax poor people on top of sales taxes through state sponsored gambling so we can cut corporate taxes.

[@mbalazs3544]

re watching this was very refreshing and fun :D