"The Manipulative Signs I Wish I Saw Sooner!" THIS Traps Women... | Najwa Zebian

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@Portia620]

I’m overly nice and so does this make me a red flag? I disagree with her and yes could be love bombing but not always. Dont be so triggered as you could miss a wonderful person. We need to be smart. I missed good people in my life and ended up with a narracist and these are NOT always true! My body was fine with a narc!!!!! If you have trauma your body will not tell you!

[@Portia620]

Our gut is not right when you’re numb. Your body feels comfortable with the norm and uncomfortable with new strange. We will not feel comfortable with a guy or gal that is not normal. Normal makes us excited and think it’s great.

[@efratlynn2791]

I am also nice and give people compliments But it's not from a place of pleasing others or from a place of behavior change But from a place where I see him as good And I want him to know that and I want hin to know it think that if we don't take opposite actions that lead to this issue then it won't happen

[@erkinalp]

Hey Lisa, why do you stitch together two people's interview as one episode? The way Tom does as one long episode with one interview is much better.

[@leilab3964]

P

[@nehuagarwal]

She is by far the most calm,sensible person with utmost emotional maturity that I’ve seen. Each time you bring her on board LISA,it’s an amazingly inspiring episode. What is the best way to reach out to her to get all the wisdom nuggets. Thank you so much for empowering women and sharing with us the knowledge through this platform. More power to you girl. Keep it going.

[@angelicamaster7764]

If you don't take action when you see the RED FLAGS, your body will suffer and become unwell after you do finally leave. The longer the toxic abuse is endured, the more Cortisol damage happens in your body. We may not have known about Narcissistic abuse 15 years ago but we do now. Education like this podcast is clearly giving us a valuable opportunity to save our precious time for a healthier life. Good luck to you all. Be brave.

[@roxane4757]

Sometimes, people may feel like they are left with little more option than to protect themselves by not speaking. When asking for change doesn’t work and someone is repeatedly denigrated, belittled, or negated…sometimes people stop speaking to protect themselves. Silent treatment can be defensive…a reaction to a narcissist that isn’t ever willing to compromise.

[@karynwebster6384]

Exactly! I'm not the silent treatment type, but if I'm repeatedly shut down and communicating isn't two sided, I don't bother anymore. I will go silent, I won't not speak if asked a direct question, but I also won't bother to go blue trying to either.

[@blowitoutyourcunt7675]

And then they come back and say they feel lonely and unloved. I literally told my hubby last week, sorry about the consequences of your actions bro! Refusing to engage in their nonsense is a valid tactic but you will be gaslit about it afterwards! Stay firm in your boundaries and refusal to give in to their nonsense.

[@jenster29]

Thats not the silent treatment. That's grey rocking... not reacting to give the narc their supply. The silent treatment is purposely not interacting with someone to prove a point... to even get completely ignored. It's not the same thing

[@jamieleigh807]

I do the same because whatever I say falls on deaf ears ears

[@kimgordon3695]

18:30

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

Toxic loyalty and toxic shared history, thats a trap for sure

[@estrella5218]

Najwa showcases so much tlc, self worth and empathy for herself. She clearly has come a long way. Loved every word she said, which resonated with me. Glad to have found this channel, every interview is a true pearl! Thank you Najwa and Lisa..

[@kimgordon3695]

1:20:00 #Challenge #Avoidance

[@AquaSunny]

I share this opinion wholeheartedly 😊

[@michellestevens9750]

This conversation made me emotional too...when you get to 45 and it takes so much work to stand up for yourself and say no...establish boundaries. You deserve to be loved. After years of partners and family members putting me down.....I have decided NO MORE. Its not easy but its worth it. ❤🎉

[@aaloha2902]

Thank you Lisa for saying that a ‘silent treatment’ can also be an emotional shut down 🙏🏼🌺 I have language processing issues and I shut down when ppl dominate verbally when I try to get my point or my feelings across. It’s annoying bc I’m smart and know myself well, ppl just don’t want to listen, they want to ‘win’ or look down on me, pretend I’m an idiot. I also stop speaking to ppl who gaslight me, sometimes it takes weeks (after googling or listening to/reading posts like yours) for me to train myself to say what I need to say. 🙏🏼🌺 As a solo mom I did manage to raise a verbally very empowered daughter though 😅 As for a partner, he would need to have a patient & peaceful communication style and definitely a growth mindset 🙌🏼🍀🤞🏼

[@flutetobassmusician]

This. I freeze when I come into a situation that I haven’t been in before. I honestly can't respond unless I’ve gone through the answers I want to give and it gives the impression of the typical “silent treatment” it gets so frustrating.

[@jenster29]

​@@flutetobassmusicianthat's not the silent treatment though. Silent Treatment is when you refuse to speak or interact with someone else. Sometimes for days or even weeks. You're TREATING someone badly.. its not when you don't know what to say in the moment

[@flutetobassmusician]

@@jenster29 I understand that, but there are definitely some people who have trouble seeing the difference between giving the silent treatment and going silent for emotional stability. If someone just doesn't like to talk over another person and the other person keeps going wondering why the quiet one isn't responding, depending on the person, it can be perceived as giving the silent treatment. For example. If the quiet person has encountered some extreme narcissism, that is their protection and sadly can come out as a trauma response towards other people when everything seems normal.

[@cybercyber4619]

Interesting. Lisa I HAVE to share my gobsmacking observation that youre such a stand out listener, interviewer, always up to speed, remembering and summarising main points, super sharp responses and insights, never me me me ( honouring your guests) no humdooley dooley BS, and, very real. Its quite RARE. Go you! So glad I accidented upon your 'channel';)) (nz)

[@westernnut8407]

OMG, so many powerful, ah ha moments! Silly me for starting to watch this video with the mindset that I've probably heard it all before! What a breakthrough. Thank you, Lisa, for this video.

[@Ronda061206]

They are master manipulators and Emmy award winning actors!

[@Portia620]

Our bodies don’t always know!!!

[@iamsoohappy]

💯

[@Lea-xt5sg]

True !

[@KiaMiaProductions]

I loved this so hard. I love how she explained "taking things personally". How she honors her younger versions of herself. Partner could be anyone. Wisdom at its finest. So much misguided advice. Processing your emotions is as important as processing your food. Emotional constipation. Projection is real. That's why it's called "stank attitude". Unprocessed emotions/waste that get stuck in our systems become toxic. Absorb the nutrients (lessons, blessings, energy for change, etc) and pass the rest. Loving is being honest and clarity. Self love is understanding grown. Giving grace and space.

[@kimgordon3695]

1:30:00

[@crb1913]

It's like watching my past life in slow motion. I pray my story will save other women and children from the same drama and trauma. The devil is busy, and he's subtly conniving...until he isn't.

[@aatt3209]

A break down before a breakthrough is a reality and a constant in multiple aspects of life.

[@Someoneoutthere67]

One has to walk away with respect for themselves, and the ability to rebuild themselves to who they were before they ended up in relationships such as this. Is it easy? No I’m not saying it’s easy because it will do a number on your brain. I don’t care how strong a person may think they are emotionally and mentally when dealing with the toxic individual it does a serious number on your brain And you are left to rebuild you. Like a hurricane or tornado that wipes out a neighborhood you have to leave something of you to rebuild and you have to do it. No one else can.

[@karynwebster6384]

I love Najwa. She's still so empathetic, kind, and real. With all she's been through she's still not jaded and hard, but wiser and so brave.

[@jrsolo4568]

I thought about this for years, but couldn’t process and turn it into words. Najwa makes it so clear. So concise. She is incredibly talented but also just so very human. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@aaloha2902]

“Don’t negotiate your Change with ppl who want you to stay the same” 💯 🙌🏼 Najwa! 🫶🏼

[@whileblueberrysleeps2993]

I love the distinction between familiar safety and expansive safety. It brings so much clarity.

[@ceciliamac4283]

Yes!!!! So much clarity 💜💜

[@nisc1091]

Najwa is so far my favorite in the show, love her serenity and how i can c her heart and how she herself has been thru the pain. Thank you!

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

I'm in a new relationship where I feel no tension in my body when we are around each other. There's no nervous energy. And he is so kind and giving. I got out of toxic relationships and keeping those out. I'm not judging myself, and having compassion for myself.

[@nicolereynolds1471]

Wow. What an incredible interview. Brought me to tears multiple times and made me reflect on so so much in my past relationships. Thank you!!

[@lovealways1257]

It's painful when you let the other person know that you need a break and the discussion is getting too much for you, and they still won't get off your back

[@Someoneoutthere67]

Your body will let you know for sure. People think butterflies in the stomach, means love, when in all actuality it means stress and anxiety. Pay attention to your thoughts or things that happened prior or may be happening g at the time.

[@Someoneoutthere67]

I think they try. There are some people such as myself that will exhaust me, and trying to find a resolution to create harmony. But listening to my body my intuition and my thoughts is usually my snapping point where I have to walk away to preserve me.

[@ceciliamac4283]

@@Someoneoutthere67same here Well said 👍

[@SheilaChung-rt5iy]

Thank you Lisa! Please tell your guests thank you too. I resonate so much with this topic. I needed to hear this today.❤❤❤

[@priyankameena5660]

I have watched najwa's almost all videos on KZbin seriously this women isy therapist ❤❤❤

[@angelah9413]

You have to be selfish to be the best you to share selflessly.

[@BeyondClaire]

This is so powerful! Thank you! I have wondered why my body felt things before my mind caught on.

[@Grrrrrrr123]

This resonates so much I was in a highly abusive relationship for 30 years… when I decided to leave it just clicked… I have to get out of this and I did ❤

[@elkejack8247]

Brilliant! The piece about the yoga breath completely resonates.

[@sp4rkle81]

At what time (minutes) can I find the piece about yoga?

[@mombaby219]

Whew this content went deep! Some of it made me cry. Thank you to both of you for living in your purpose. 🙏🏻

[@LaurenJ777]

Hands down, this some of the most mind-blowing, smartest and most sincere advice. 💖💖💖🙏🏼

[@KG-uo7jv]

Dirty Pain and Murky Waters. LOVED these terms and their descriptions 💝💝💝💝💝

[@treeze_it7800]

Only 11 minutes into this, so helpful.

[@dargeo1406]

Excessive charm is a huge red flag 🚩 I wish I knew this years ago… 🤦‍♀️

[@bizzybiscuit]

Wow! I really needed to hear this at this exact moment!!!! Ty!❤

[@iriri71]

How much I love Najwa and I am grateful for these deep helpful and compassionate considerations. I see that she knows deeply what she is speaking about and it is a shared experience that we need to rewrite in a healthy and with truthful words 🌈

[@deniseanderson367]

It’s so surreal when you continue to deal with a toxic person but you have discovered who they are… whole other level.

[@Myaussiehome]

This is true! Sometimes we can feel safe and we are not actually just familiar with the feeling.

[@ricardajames5769]

Once you start to see red flags, RUN!! If a person's words and actions do not align , something is wrong. Protect yourself. ❤

[@wbskigirl604]

WOW!! So many mic drops and impactful moments in the first hour. This is such an incredible episode!! I have just broken free from a very toxic relationship, which was only a year-long....however, we have in many ways been connected through the last 25+ years, first dating as teens. The one thing I am struggling with though is just about the 1 hr mark, where it gets into the chance (and realize this won't apply to all) but the connection to parents. I very much grew up in a very loving family overall. However, my sister was very sick as a child. Listening back, I can identify with breaking the trauma bonds from childhood, but where I struggle is I don't feel my parents ever spoke down to me, and they didn't directly make me feel like I constantly need to do more to gain their love. I feel like this is something that I solely decided for myself as very young child. My younger sister is the sick one, that causes the stress, so I, MYSELF, decided that I needed to always be doing more, be the perfect one, to ensure there was no extra stress created. I think I battle this immensely in my healing journey, and finding the compassion for myself in what I see caused my own scenario, not directly may parents - who are amazing and massively loving....but had a lot dealing with my very sick younger sibling.

[@thatrugreallytiedtheroomto4537]

Looooved this episode sm 💗 thank you Lisa!

[@milarepa1234567]

She is so wise and this is everything I need to hear right now, finally dealing with the childhood trauma that got me into a long marriage I must now leave.

[@Summer-tk8yk]

I really appreciate this interview. Thank you ❤

[@catshouse6192]

i love this wise beautiful guest, thank you

[@mrsmucha]

Excellent interview!

[@Lyric24393]

You are definitely describing my friend/situationship I wanted to communicate so badly with him. Didn’t want to lose the friendship but it feels way too disrespectful ( he is respectful to everyone else in his life) and yes , the silence is emotionally abusive and manipulative. I want and deserve much more and a conversation to end on good terms if at all possible.

[@nicolereynolds1471]

You are like the voice inside of me that is trying to make sense of it all. Now it finally makes sense.

[@mariaheliadou190]

Najwa is wonderful, thank you!

[@iamsoohappy]

I dont trust words or actions. I dont fall for potential anymore either. I trust patterns and vibes that are consistent and long term.

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

Lisa, This was pure gold, Thank you so much for this, you have great people on your show, Thank you for creating women of impact, You've helped me so much, You're a beautiful compassionate woman, Respect to you :-) Keep getting information out there about abusive relationships, abusive men can give the façade of them changing, Don't fall for it, Know the patterns and red flags, Abusive men are very covertly manipulative, Coercive control is very serious, It's not love, It's power control entitlement and dominance, I've done a lot of study, And personal experience, Break the cycles, Toxic relationships is serious, People who think toxic love is okay and normal there's something seriously wrong, There's no way I'll tolerate that crap, I deserve a healthy relationship and that's what I will attract, Peace, love and respect to you all and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

[@Aminaber]

Absolutely wonderful descriptions and thoughts on the process of relationships and life. ❤

[@stephs8277]

lol I am always overly nice to someone when I first meet them bc I don’t want them to be mean to me and also I have social anxiety.

[@jenster29]

The stop. Mean people will still be mean. Just be yourself.. even if you're anxious

[@stephs8277]

​@@jenster29True, I've learned this the hard way. Mean people will always be mean, not matter how good you were to them. TY

[@teresadabrowska7637]

Sixteen minutes of watching and I already have goosebumps

[@Traumatised311]

Someone who loves u wants to see u love urself Respects u Appreciates u Someone who doesn't love u Will find flaws

[@RVCHAT]

i could like this 5k times. thank u Najwa and Lisa.

[@sarahfrost299]

I needed this so bad! Thank you Thank you ❤

[@AquaSunny]

Wow,one of the best interviews I have ever heard!

[@klaudiazmigrodzka9939]

So so true. What a smart, self-aware and enlightnened woman❤

[@ellamedic8963]

She has the most amazing insights into human psychology and body.

[@ceciliamac4283]

Hilan ?

[@nisc1091]

Wow i really needed to hear this, thank you so much.

[@heba9052]

I love love her❤ We need her to be here more often

[@brittanystalnaker430]

I agree to a point but also I don’t!! when you try to express your issues & concerns & you’re dealing with a narcissist they don’t like when you bring things up with them which means they get mad, defensive & angry so they lash out & yell at you so am I to just sit there & take it ? Sit there & get screamed at directly in my face ? Or what about on the phone? Just sit there & take it ? I do what makes me comfortable which is calmly asking them to calm down & if they don’t then I walk away or I hang up the phone until they’ve calmed down. Not all the time is ignoring manipulative behavior sometimes it’s because you’re emotionally upset & shutting down from being disrespected . I wish this was elaborated on a little more.

[@zarghunnanoori4172]

This interview was perfect I got lots of new lessons, thank you so much ❤

[@lprinsky2356]

this is SO TRUE but our lives are mirrors of out past

[@priyankameena5660]

What the hell I was watching Najma previous videos from last week on repotitive mode. And in other channels as well. And hell she is jere again. I love you lisa for bringing her. Thanks a lot.❤❤

[@catherinewanjiku489]

The timing of this!

[@lorrainedevlin6409]

Very good conversation

[@deniseanderson367]

I haven’t been able to have a relationship since my first narcissistic exposure, especially any intimacy.

[@hrabmv]

❤❤ great stuff but after many years of living, this is true for friendships as well!! every! relationship

[@Traumatised311]

I was 18 He was 18 Same college same degree I am 28 now When i found out about narcisssism i was 21 But at 18 he emotionally psychologically abused me I knew something was off Disrespect was something i saw as a red flag I cheated on him Wow Audacity of him n his friends to hate me

[@HH-kg4fq]

1:20. WOWWWWW that coercion is violent.

[@tavarez415]

I love Najwa so much! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Natalia-xo1yj]

That's why I am single because I don't like lying or controlling or aggressive men. I don't like dealing with men like that.

[@nbc940928]

I needed this talk exactly right now... thank you girls you are so appreciated!!

[@shaniecegullison]

thank you sooooo much for this

[@milena.zalyan]

yeeeeeey been Waiting for this❤

[@mariannasenior577]

Thank you. Spot on.

[@olexkaymartin2364]

Experienced it. The over nice. The intuition screaming

[@sandyschneider6792]

I used to coin my mistake with my narc spouse as “the sin of familiarity”…

[@sanuradhajabasingh7981]

❤Woah, Luv you both, 🥰Queens!

[@Myaussiehome]

Yes, they may even mention that it's all transactional and use that word.

[@crb1913]

"They knew that that's what it took to get you." Yep. The deceptive plotting and manipulation are real...and then using religion to continue to manipulate and control...

[@deniseanderson367]

Maybe this is why weirdly every time in the past , I would come down with some illness preventing me from spending time with people🤷‍♀️

[@AmandaExpanded2514]

Man this was good!

[@jennifermullin6258]

She's telling my current story, where my life is rn. 🤔🗣️👣

[@tschinzel]

Damn!! She’s so right 😮

[@anthonymckenzie5182]

I agree men need to stop being so generous with compliments we need to learn how to be assholes.

[@michellerobert_mindfulme]

This is one of the most authentic women i have ever met! Tq so much Lisa for bringing her in! 😘 😘

[@patricebeauty]

Excellent Interview!

[@lyndoraburroughs-robinson5663]

The Bible says that a neighbor who platters you sets a trap for your feet. Your body has discernment.

[@shalynn365]

Where is that located in the Bible ?

[@sunnybrookfarm762]

Proverbs 29:5 also read Proverbs 26:28, 28:23, 20:19, 7:5, Psalm 12:2, 5:9 & Job 17:5​@@shalynn365

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

⁠@@shalynn365 3:14

[@gabrielamartiniuc6322]

@@shalynn365proverbs 26:28 , psalm 78:36 Psalm 55:21 , 1 Thessalonians2:5 and there are many more ! Flattery is dangerous ! Because there is evil intent involved.

[@mimedeiros26]

Great Video as Always. Lisa, is it possible to add subtitles for your videos? I've shared with Brazilian friends in Brazil that they say no Subtitles for Portuguese. They don't speak English. Thank you! Have a Happy Easter ✝️🙏

[@JoCed-jc5id]

Thank you for this gem 💎

[@kuntkoalition]

I didn't realize you live in Tampa, too❗️ I've done the Gasparilla 5k a handful of times years ago. THANK YOU 🙏 Seeing this, I'm inspired to attack this Gasparilla challenge next year. 💪🙌 #Basic2Badass #KuntKoalition

[@creativityart7590]

I want to send this to my mom because she helped me get out of a toxic relationship that I just left. But if I sent this to her, I know she’d take it personally, because of how my dad treated me. I know if she listened to the part where they r relating healing from a toxic relationship with also needing to heal childhood things, she’d know and accuse me of accusing my dad and take his side

[@creativityart7590]

Writing this, I feel like I want to delete my comment because I don’t like feeling so vulnerable and I’m afraid of looking like someone with a victim mentality.

[@FancyTruth1]

Love and light to you, beautiful Soul.

[@mistypfitzer111]

YUP!! 💯👌 I AGREE! Whenever a guy is super nice 2 me, i question his intentions & his motives...99% of the time its just cuz they hope 2 get sex out of it & thats the only reason theyre even bothering to talk to me. 🙄

[@virginiaholzer7358]

This is so powerful ❤

[@virginiaholzer7358]

So true thank you so much ♥ great very wise conversation, so informative, I experienced what she talks about. I did walk away from that toxic person. Thanks be to God. God bless you both 🙏 ❤ Have a great blissful day 🙏

[@drjekl44]

Dating sets boundaries for both

[@doritkatz3422]

brilliant.