The Many Hilarious Ways the CIA Tried to Assassinate Fidel Castro

Dive into the absurd history of the CIA's failed plots to assassinate Fidel Castro, featuring exploding seashells, poisoned cigars, and more. Discover how the bearded leader outwitted them all!
Love content? Check out our other KZbin Channels:
Higher Learning: / @higherlearningflight
Flick Facts: / @flickfacts
Fact Quikie: / @factquickie
Ancient Marvels: / @ancient-marvels
Origins: / @originsofeverything
Warographics: / @warographics643
MegaProjects: / @megaprojects9649
SideProjects: / @sideprojects
Into The Shadows: / intotheshadows
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Brain Blaze: / @brainblaze6526
Casual Criminalist: / thecasualcriminalist
Decoding the Unknown: / @decodingtheunknown2373
Places: / @places302
Astrographics: / @astrographics-ve4yq
→Some of our favorites: • Featured
→Subscribe for new videos every day!
kzbin.info...

[@TodayIFoundOut]

This video brought to you in part by our Patrons over on Patreon. If you’d like to support our efforts here directly, and our continued efforts to improve our videos, as well as do more ultra in-depth long form videos that built in ads and even sponsors don’t always cover fully, check out our Patreon page and perks here: www.patreon.com/TodayIFoundOut And as ever, thanks for watching!

[@TheScandoman]

Today I find out that you're right or doesn't deserve a bonus for this script because it's Eglin Air Force Base not "Elgin"! 😮 😅

[@111olbap]

SImon, funnily is NOT a word, and stop making so many god damn youtube channels. Half the platform is just your redundant crap and spinoffs thereof.

[@DarkSerris]

The CIA should ask Boeing's CEO for advice it seems...

[@banjwolf]

Or stop asking, maybe?

[@calebbean1384]

Lorenz sounds like a terrible agent "Hey I know you're supposed to kill me but nah let's fuck" "Okay"

[@MsErdnussbutter]

Like a woman in an old Bond movie.

[@torhne]

Not supposed to slut shame or something idk?

[@paulwilliams815]

Eh she wasn't really a trained agent she was someone with a complicated relationship with Castro the CIA just assumed would be able to get Castro alone and be angry enough to kill him Still your comment made me laugh 😂

[@Raccido]

It sounds like the kind of story you make up because you don't want to admit how you actually fucked it up 😆

[@hovis_esports]

that shit sounded like a bad tumblr fanfic

[@EntityofDarkness696]

One of the funniest things to ever happen to me was one time in my High School film studies class, I made a comment about all the failed assassination attempts of Castro, we watched the trailer for a documentary about it, and then literally the next day, Castro died.

[@romanglinnik8073]

How the tables have turned.

[@jwalster9412]

Gold

[@GiulioRicciardi]

Plot twist: he mentions Castro daily 😂

[@joshuagrimes1291]

Well that’s on you that you didn’t say it years earlier

[@joshuagrimes1291]

@@GiulioRicciardi Well in that case well done to him for being persistent

[@h.s.levine2932]

The CIA made the same mistake as Wile E. Coyote, buying their equipment from the Acme Co.

[@davesy6969]

Castro tried establishing friendly relations with the USA, iirc, Eisenhower snubbed Castro and went off to play golf, leaving him to talk to vice president Nixon.

[@Yarsig]

It's always funny when commie apologists leave out important tidbit of information. Like the fact that Castro committed human rights violations against his people and that was the reason the US didn't want to play ball with him.

[@calvinn9214]

I mean if I was left to speak to Nixon, I’d probably hate the US as well.

[@Yarsig]

Why did they though? Because crimes against humanity and communism.

[@SodamnInsane24]

@@calvinn9214touché

[@HerrGerbrandt]

That bit with the tortoise, sounds like Castro had a great sense of humor.

[@ImWearingPantsNow]

Definitely funnier than at least half of the comedians out today...

[@thejuanderful]

I heard that when Castro deposed the dictator he initially reached out to the Americans because he wanted to establish a democracy. The Americans were upset they lost their puppet dictator and bombed Cuba. That was the main reason Castro turned to the Soviets for help. The story of how Castro overthrew the dictator is wild.

[@PayterX]

I've never heard of that myself. I also would find it hard to believe that Castro would have initially wanted anything except communism. Che Guevara was his right hand man, helped win him the entire country of Cuba, and was actively fighting for the marxist revolution that overthrew Batista in the first place. So yeah pretty much the entire reason Castro ended up the leader in the first place was to put communism in place from the start.

[@jodycarter7308]

Years ago I read his unauthorized bio by Tad Suzac. According to him he got treated like shit in the US - left in waiting rooms for hours, only to find out he snuck out. I think this was his first attempt (8 yrs in the isle of pines). The second was successful despite it's ignomious start.

[@kaltaron1284]

He definately had socialist leanings but it sounds plausible that he would have prefered amiable relations with the USA.

[@kimaaron3507]

Same for the Vietnamese when they kicked out the French. America wants obedience to its economic model, not democracy.

[@JohnAsparagus96]

Liberalism preserves the democracy of the bourgeois, the material interests of the ownership class. Marxism seeks to politically-dispossess the right of private exploitation and to create a proletarian democracy of the working class. Only fascists and monarchists reject democracy, outright. Using "democracy" synonymous with political liberalism is disingenuous.

[@suzettespencer]

Liam Neesin with a beard, beret, & cigar.

[@Morgil27]

"Eh, the Americans ain't so bad. They named a street after me in San Francisco."

[@frogstomp427]

IT'S FULL OF WHAT

[@9Achaemenid]

They couldn't assassin Castro but instead they assassin Kennedys

[@emanggitulah4319]

3 letter org idiots 🤣

[@hg.chetan]

Had no idea thyme was so deadly

[@Jobe00]

Shame you couldn't use Yakety Sax as the background music for this video. It would be appropriate.

[@TheDeepSeaCreature]

Just imagine what your tax dollars go to that they don't de-classify....

[@LemurMaster]

Looked at this thumbnail and briefly thought it was about Post Malone.

[@Jayjay-qe6um]

George W. Bush: One day the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away. Fidel Castro: Now I understand why I survived Bush's plans and the plans of other presidents who ordered my assassination: the good Lord protected me.

[@timothyhouse1622]

Ok, the tortoise joke was boss. Castro was a lot like Tito with his wit.

[@johnransom1146]

Castro had numerous look alikes to fool agents. He constantly moved between his houses, one in each province. So did the lookalikes.

[@ABadassDragon]

Wait, he died in 2016?! I had no idea he even made it into 21st century

[@RuthCuadrado]

Were you hiding under a rock?

[@ABadassDragon]

@@RuthCuadrado yes

[@SmashBrosAssemble]

One of them included a 3 man team comprised of Alex Mason, Frank Woods & Joseph Bowman infiltrating Castro’s compound, unfortunately they took out one of his doubles.

[@iiiuuj]

the numbers mason what do they MEAN?!?!?!?

[@jblob5764]

​@@iiiuuj😂 such a good game

[@route2070]

My Freshman Spanish teacher once said, Castro cannot die. After she said that it took him about another 9 or so years to go.

[@AZTUC_520]

That thumbnail of Castro looks like Post Malone

[@Sim_Bikes_and_More]

Somebody stop this man.! He's taking over KZbin!

[@ImWearingPantsNow]

Castro???

[@highlandoutsider8148]

Far too late for all that😅 I for one welcome our bespectacled bald overlord lol

[@RuthCuadrado]

I loved when he went to New York City without a bulletproof vest, saying laughing with a cigar in his mouth “I’m wearing a moral vest”. Dude was a legend

[@reybot5125]

I saw that video lol. The man had bigger balls than any of our leaders

[@tormentorxl2732]

It says a lot that Castro is popular still today. History is telling.

[@N20Joe]

Popular in Cuba or just rich, white American universities?

[@lightningstrike5024]

@@N20Joe as someone who is not from cuba nor goes to a rich, white, or american university. he is very popular

[@JohnJones-oy3md]

2:06 - That baby went on to become a prime minister.

[@garmar704]

Ahh. The russian propaganda narrative that won't quit 🤡

[@JohnJones-oy3md]

@@garmar704 Putin under every rock in your world.

[@garmar704]

@@JohnJones-oy3md You're the one repeating kremlin propaganda, not me. Remember that.

[@SleepyMatt-zzz]

I think it's funny as a joke, but do people actually believe this? 😂

[@garmar704]

@@SleepyMatt-zzz Some do believe it.

[@hamtercattree]

Ouuu so close to the beginning of the comments. Love all the works you put out. I really appreciate the research on interesting topics I would never have thought to seek out without your videos. Also apparently your viewers are mostly men but I'm one of the small percentage of woman who love your channels!

[@Cavinaar]

If you haven't already, you should do a video on the 9/11 Boatlift. It was the largest boat rescue mission in history (even bigger than Dunkirk).

[@turtwig4512]

Lmao Castros one of the biggest chads I’ve ever seen

[@Nothingcomestomind124]

Cubans are kind and capable people. I have thoroughly enjoyed every visit there.

[@ima8533]

Divinely Ordained 🕊️

[@crolmac]

I was wondering. Is there any way you could make a video about local (not emigrate to the us, but living in cuba) cubans pov of how they live in their country, without the overbearing american narrative? As in not comparing to the states but juat as they see themselves and their country? That would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the good content

[@kimaaron3507]

Perhaps "hilarious" and "extra-judicial murder" are an inappropriate pairing?

[@alejandronopasanada5302]

FYI: Loretta is the reason we KNOW the government and alphabet had something to do with JFK. Look into the lawsuit E. Howard Hunt had against Spotlight Magazine.

[@jscheunemann]

Just saying this might work on Putin, might be time for the CIA to dust off their playbook….

[@OldSkullInn]

What's up with the audio giving the dull honing sound whenever Simon Speaks in this one?

[@michelvondenhoff9673]

Did they poke him with a pillow?

[@EhrenLoudermilk]

Why does Canada's president look like his twin

[@rashedusman9717]

I think he had a lot of intuition and avoided all the othervise effective means of assasination. It's remarcable how many bad situations can be avoided by listening to gut-feelings.

[@Barnaclebeard]

I think you have to be an American to find assassination attempts against a head of state funny, let alone "hilarious".

[@2smoothz]

We’re pretty desensitized

[@neversate]

How many KZbin channels do you have Simon?

[@J.Severin]

In the end, death claims us all. 🙁

[@TheDasbull]

I believe Castro is only slightly less durable than Keith Richards 😂

[@cactiguide]

Saw the thumbnail and thought it was a video about Justin.

[@scruffyyyjin]

looked at the thumbnail and thought this was a vid about post malone

[@Hex-Mas]

The jackals.

[@johnallenbailey1103]

The fact we know this, see what they currently do to Cuba, should be a digrace to Americans, but you can shame people with no consciousness.

[@duckydarrick7460]

I wonder if they tried dropping an anvil on him that said acme on it

[@aq5426]

And to think, all of this came about because the Washington Senators didn't draft a promising young 2B from Cuba. >.>

[@asylumental]

My ex and mother of my kids is 1/4 Cuban, and her great uncle was actually Castro's personal photographer. My ex's family (the Brown family), have several pictures of Castro and of their family with Castro in their family photograph albums. That same uncle or another uncle was also hung for his part in helping to create the underground railroad and helping slaves escape to Canada.

[@senseisecurityschool9337]

"that uncle or another uncle" The underground railroad was a full 100 years before Castro.

[@asylumental]

@@senseisecurityschool9337 hmmmm... well that makes me sound pretty dumb doesn't it lol. Ao definitely not that same uncle. But it's not my family, so I don't remember the details, clearly I've messed them up. Someone else in her family was hung for their part in the underground railroad. According to my ex's great aunt.

[@senseisecurityschool9337]

@@asylumental I don't think it makes you sound dumb. Just sounds like there was a thing you didn't know. There several million things I don't know, and the test says I'm a pretty smart guy.

[@________Thatheis]

​@@senseisecurityschool9337likely by the time a modern Cuban escaping from communism era was starting there were different problems found then a hundred years ago causing the necessity for a evolution of the ways an means at hand. As such the idea began a rolling train of thought comically we (me and my girlfriend) found ourselves reaching in the logical bag yet again this had pulled out again the "a Duh" moment of "couples counseling for dummies" also from a book found the book series "How to use an underground railroad to escape communism for dummies" clearly holds a statement about vital escape logistics points and pathways needing the priority to be changed up often preventing a link the chain being infiltrated eluding the commies. Yeah any systems currently working that has been operated for a hundred years successfully has reached a moment of needing change and innovation a modernization, to maintain being successful. It's just a thought. What do you think? Not trying to make a point that possibly someone is incorrectly understanding known information let alone the unknown info. This study of thought is found to be pointing to the idea considering additional possibilities to the historic records of knowledge commonly known as "The How To Ω⁴²=-;---/~\∞⁴³ Book For Dummies" chronicles.. 😂🤨😬🫡🤦🏽 This has been another bite of your " Fun Cakes™ " 🎼🎶Fun Cakes™ Are Good🎶 🎼🎶 Fun Cakes™ Are Great🎶🎵🎵🎶 🎼🎶Eat Your Fun Cakes™ Regulate 🎵

[@asylumental]

@@senseisecurityschool9337 well thanks for handling this like a gentleman instead of like most people on the internet always trying to make a joke or roast someone.

[@moonliteX]

Lsd laced cigars 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

[@ansonang7810]

Loyalty suround yourself with people who will not exchange you for any amount of money who is loyal to you. Personally pick your palace servants and friends.

[@DazeOfFraz]

I thought that was Post Malone

[@ryateo1]

The dude's legacies run Cuba and Canada

[@srf2112]

The tongue tying title. One question .. is "funnily" actually a word?

[@rickgotner7596]

It's painful to realize just how dazed and confused the President of the United States is here'

[@tubensalat1453]

So hilarious when the CIA sends assassins with sniper rifles. And that bit about the target that wasn't Fidel? What's this script?

[@kaltaron1284]

You can say many things about the man but he had a sense of humour.

[@danielkjm]

If the USSR did this the title of the video would be "How Many Times The Communists Tried To Kill The President" but when its USA its all just funny and normal

[@WhiteCamry]

Consider how many times Stalin tried to kill Trotsky before he finally succeeded.

[@Error_404-F.cks_Not_Found]

This comment is dumb.

[@MotherOfTerriers]

they were creative, absolutely insane but creative.

[@PetrSojnek]

To be honest, it feels like we know where those lost LSD laced cigars got in the end :D

[@Vordb666]

Thought that was Post Malone in the thumbnail

[@Mike-hu3pp]

Was Mel Brooks on that CIA team?

[@cdurr94]

Hi

[@ALA9E]

God appoints the kings no one can alter what he has purposed

[@jamiemartin7649]

Thought it was Post Malone in the thumbnail

[@tormentorxl2732]

If this happened to a republican in America, they’d be touting that god choose them.

[@MrPrussianjester]

That terrible female assassin made Castro seem like such a badass.

[@Zebulization]

She wasn't trained. Her only qualifications were that she had been his lover for years, and that she might be mad that he had her infant stolen at birth. The CIA didn't even try to make her competent as an assassin. Had she shot him she would have been killed. The CIA probably told her that the poison would give her a chance to run to a safe house, and they would smuggle her out of Cuba that night. Kind of a dick move from the CIA.

[@RadioactiveKetchup]

Castro was slanging

[@chiphausl]

1/137

[@darlingdeb7010]

Well, we tried to save the people 😂🤷‍♀️

[@Konglomerant]

Watch this video on .075x…thank me later…

[@Matthew-ix1mq]

Batista was a toad for the mob and big business.

[@crazyamericanredhead]

My son unfortunately, passed away in November that sucks

[@Australiaisupsidedown]

lol

[@EhrenLoudermilk]

Nikharwagyuah

[@Kylecombes4]

And then his son became the tyrant ruling Canada 😅

[@Elongated_Muskrat]

Luckily for Cuba, Castro living ensured the utopia that is modern Cuba.

[@crazyamericanredhead]

The d it’s a good old-fashioned just put just putting the money somewhere safe for a few days because I’m very uncomfortable with how things are at the moment

[@schiz0phren1c]

Castroaition Attempts!

[@joshuagibson2520]

Cuber. Nicaragyouaer. Okay.

[@paulpaintshop103]

Is that Justin Turdeau?

[@abwdagreat]

Justin Trudeau's dad

[@galegirl406682]

Justin Trudeau's Papa

[@user-bu7hh3jd8k]

Trudeaus real father

[@ethan5.56]

Noice

[@bensoncheung2801]

👁👁

[@jamiebizness1]

free congo free Palestine

[@camronmoye37]

So I guess ole boy sells his great channels and keeps the shitty top 10 channels

[@mattsmith5421]

What has he sold

[@camronmoye37]

@@mattsmith5421 he's other channels like biographics

[@mattsmith5421]

@@camronmoye37 they weren't his channels, he was employed on them as a presenter by the owner.

[@geenerheimer9266]

Yiu shouldn't talk about Justin Trudeaus dad like this

[@worldwanderer91]

CIA should have sent inFrank Woods and Alex Mason

[@Heartwing37]

What a clown show!!!

[@kalvinastrov1633]

For about a decade or so after the failed Bay Of Pigs invasion, my family was wanted (some of us killed) by Fidel Castro. At the time, one of our family members (My great great uncle, Aldo Vera Serafin) worked as a CIA informant after Castro started to repeat actions that Batista did. (Silencing political enemies, extortion, assassinations, impractical policies that were not what Castro initially advocated for)

[@sixtyfourchebby4507]

Look it's Trudeau's father and dad.

[@SignalChange]

Had they succeeded, Canada wouldn't now be getting crushed by his son.

[@boris1387]

The funniest thing is communism 😂

[@pappa2293]

That's not Castro, that Justin Trudeau sr.

[@scotshanley]

Our tax dollars hard at work 🤦🏻‍♂️🤬

[@tymiller9714]

And nine months later she gave birth to Justin Treudor (CA pm idk spelling)

[@CBe-ot8vu]

Russia has nuke subs surrounding usa. As we speak russia has nukes aime at usa from a port in cuba. In return usa sent one of its subs to........ norway! Lolololol

[@sukmanutzak9547]

really running out of ideas now huh simon... just re hashing old videos over and over again. fucking boring.

[@Graham-ii7uk]

This alone proves how shite the cia really are!