The Mask You Live In - Official Trailer

From the team behind "Miss Representation," "The Mask You Live In" explores America’s narrow definition of masculinity and the harm it causes boys and men. Bring this important topic to your school, community or workplace: therepresentationproject.org/f...
Home viewing available: themaskyoulivein.vhx.tv/produ...
For screening rights, email: [e-mail]
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[@TheWatsonGreen]

Having the toughness to stand tall in the face of adversity, but also the sensitivity to lend a helping hand to those who are struggling with it, that is 'manning up' to me.

[@chrisallum9044]

and thats what it means....thats what is being called toxic the reality is that only happens because of what well..women, its pretty exclusive, see as toxic...i imagine because they don't understand the connection. (...not all women, some, the point was to exclude men there) to be super blunt...you can't do it if you're crying needing help yourself.

[@MrApocalisse]

@@chrisallum9044 No it isn't,you dumbass. What is toxic is repressing your emotions to appear tough. THAT is toxic and makes you weak and needs to be addressed. No one is attacking masculinity as a whole.

[@MrApocalisse]

@Glyn Green Repression is not an effective way to control or deal with your emotions, you stupid fuck.

[@IamBrixTM]

@@chrisallum9044 Stop twisting narratives to appease your bullshit worldview.

[@user-vo7rz5kg8b]

@@chrisallum9044 ok incel

[@hannahgolden2457]

My dad was raised in a hyper masculine family and after he turned 18, went into the Marine Corps. He did really well, but treated my mom, my brother, and I pretty badly. He became the highest rank he could go to, and he retired last year. He went nuts a few months after he retired and had an affair which led to my mom divorcing him. He screamed all the time and was fairly violent. My friends father is the opposite. He's retired from the Navy after a career as long as my father's and he's still cheerful and happy throughout his life. My dad wouldn't and couldn't ever tell us how he was feeling because he "was a man". My friends dad always talks about how his day went, how he felt, etc - he's more open because his parents raised him to be that way. I just...feel like this is connected. This is just a personal experience, and I'm sure many people can relate to.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

what happened to him?

[@thehayes6504]

You know what they say about the navy, right ?

[@keegangold9765]

Yeah, 100 sailors go into the submarine and…100 sailors serve your country more than you apparently do.

[@jakeknapp6833]

Gee I’m sorry about that he should not been this way also not to make fun of men who dress not necessarily masculine maybe gets mean to others

[@kameo360fan]

They're not saying "being a man" or "being masculine" is bad, they're saying that guys can't express their feelings without feeling emasculated and that leads to anger/behavioural issues, violence and suicides.

[@kameo360fan]

@Logan McGlynn ah yes because you have never heard that specific phrase it means that it negates everybody else's experience

[@SleepyCinnamon]

@Logan McGlynn lucky you, then.

[@SincereKing]

I watched this movie and it changed the way I raised my sons completely. Not in a anit-masculine way… but with more love, compassion and mindfulness. It has deeply improved my relationship with my sons. I recommend this for all fathers looking to connect on a deeper level in raising sons

[@kenroar]

I remember when my drugged up father told me to take his abuse like a man. I thought, "if that's being a man I don't want to be one." A few years later I did stand up to him like man - and put a stop to his abuse.

[@derekloche7719]

This isn't an attack on masculinity, simple an evaluation of how society has defined masculinity and how societies definition may be worse then we want to admit. The idea of reevaluating societies effect on masculinity should be welcomed.

[@chrisallum9044]

the fundamental premise is wrong. THAT is why its an attack on masculinity...and thats before we even think about mentioning this is a woman telling men what they SHOULD be. masculinity isn't and never was supposed to be something any male or whatever could achieve let alone easily and happily. A better approach might be to say masculinity isnt for everyone or not that so much as "being a man" isn't for everyone. society actually needs real men. Not many but it take many attempts to get one. is it fair? absolutely not. should it be fair? (and this is the crux) NO thats the "job" (lol yeah i know hence quotes) of femininity do note I'm talking about masculine feminine not gender or sex masculinity doesn't define men. men define masculinity. THAT is the core error of the social constructionists on this and gender. it does go both ways but thats because a boy is trying to emulate his 'fathers' which at any moment are the living definition. to conclude. the problem with these critiques is they do not even seem to be aware that each of these things serves a functional useful purpose for society....the ones that are required at the top...hmm...maybe theres a secret answer for feminists...more imposition on young girls in the mannor its given to young boys rather than the reverse which is their current approach. I'd be interested what anyone thinks of that last bit actually...genuinely just occured to me

[@chrisallum9044]

attacking the toxic parts of masculinity is still attacking it...like by definition...soo yeah

[@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider]

WOW!!!! you're sooooooooooooo "woke" lolololololol

[@RufanaDenmark]

@@lincolnsanchez4704 and you're everything that's wrong with masculinity

[@cannonfodder4854]

@@lincolnsanchez4704 Having watched the whole documentary, I can say from an informed perspective that this documentary utilizes statistics and cases studies to form a compelling argument. It's not pushing an agenda, it highlights the issues and plights of men, and the faults in the social construct of masculinity. Whether we like to admit it or not, men have issues, and personally I find this narrative refreshing as opposed to the constant idiotic rants about male oppression spouted by sjws. It's unfortunate that you interpreted this video this way but I implore you to at least truly listen to some of the arguments made and open up reasonable discourse. I mean, men have a universally higher rate of suicide. C'mon, you can't tell me that's a good thing.

[@carloslp1431]

I’m really thankful my high school teacher showed us this documentary because out of the 4 years I spent on high school that was the only time we talk about men issues.

[@she-is-nobody]

Well, isn't it so nice to see everyone respectfully discussing this issue in the comment section. Oh wait....

[@FLYINGTHOR]

Wait? Wait for what? For them to stop respectfully pointing out the good and bad parts of this film?

[@jordobuppo]

+FLYINGTHOR for them to stop bringing up feminism where it has no place.

[@FLYINGTHOR]

Jordan The Wolf Feminism has no place anywhere except in countries where women are systematically oppressed. Which is no country in the West.

[@jordobuppo]

+FLYINGTHOR true that.

[@jordobuppo]

***** first of all i am a female and there are shit tons of mens rights groups. Also, i dont see much pro-men feminists nowadays. Mostly boasting about male tears and telling people to teach their boys not to rape and COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that women do it to. Its all BLAH BLAH PATRIARCHY and ZERO active fighting for equality, WHICH MAY I ADD WE HAVE NOW. If ya wanna fight patriarchy so damn bad take it to the middle east where there is NO righys for women at all. I hope you know that today's third wave feminism is absolutely nothing like the first and second waves that ACTUALLY did something for society. Now its all safe spaces and manspreading. Gimme a break. Feminism is dead in the west. And dont tell me im ungrateful because i dont think i can be grateful for whiny rainbow haired crazy chicks from tumblr screaming about how a simple glance from a male is rape. Thanks.

[@Tricorvus]

Growing up, I was taught by both parents, that a REAL man will cry when his emotions are strong. A bad man holds it in, then releases his emotions inappropriately. Clearly we were raised in the minority....

[@MrMeeples]

Now I remember why I normally don't read KZbin comments. It's like peeking into a room full of people who hate everything.

[@iridiumkush237]

💯

[@ngarcia103]

As a man, I'm very glad this was made. I've always lived in fear that other men would judge me simply for being myself - I've never been the kind to be "tough" or someone to hold back tears when I cry.

[@DJPillow-DJNayarit-DJTape]

I was deeply afraid of being judged in that regard too and in turn I became increasingly bitter and angry at society

[@kuromalos]

The amount of men who saw this video and immediately saw it as an excuse to attack women or men suffering from these problems proves the video's point further.

[@willraee]

kuromalos What about the men who didn’t find it as an excuse? Do they disprove the video’s point?

[@aidanmcsweeney519]

solty . . SALT

[@Kabullo76]

bitch please....

[@philipma7185]

shut up u soy boy

[@LavaCreeperPeople]

@@philipma7185 aww incel did this documentary hurt your little ego? 🤣 projecting your insecurities lol

[@missrepresentation]

Check out the trailer for our next film, The Mask You Live In, and take the pledge to be the change: therepresentationproject.org/pledge

[@g0ldinthehills]

No thanks.

[@McLovinYoMuffin]

No, this is cultural marxism.

[@trenerpiechniczek]

disgusting

[@50sRockSteady]

Is castration a mandatory prerequisite for the Representation Project pledge?

[@colonelcorazonsantiago7335]

Isn't this a feminist organization (Miss Representation)? Who are they to say what masculinity/being man should be? And why do they equate masculinity with violence and aggression? Any man with a good head on his shoulders should steer well clear of this organization and it's teachings...

[@mvassallo8024]

In this video, all the different narration voices are men. In my experience, girls and women are just as vocal and active in terms of reinforcing male stereotypes.

[@storageheater]

My grandma gave us a box of clothes when I was about 6. I put a dress on to see what it was like. My mother sneered at me and called me Gertrude. It's one of the strongest memories, the shame and weirdness of that moment. I didn't become a transvestite or transgendered or anything like that, but thirty years later our entire relationship has faded away because she's the sort of person who would sneer at me for being different.

[@alexish7668]

I got the feeling they were repeating what they've been told. I've seen similar strategies in other types of documentaries. It's a style choice.

[@storageheater]

Oh god no, I ended up disabled first, and she was absolutely shitty about that too. There's a whole tedious life story in between the start and the end, use your imagination :D Also it's probably worth mentioning as you're a bit literal-minded, I didn't decide as a child to hold a decades-long vendetta against my mother, just that I had a lot of time to think about why I didn't miss her

[@pdub707]

Pick better women. Nah, I'm kidding. It's true, women are also influenced by the way men are conditioned and programmed to be men. Some of us see the error and try to fight against it. And some women buy into the b.s. Early into dating my partner, he tried on one of my corsets for fun. That moved me towards liking him. That he could be comfortable being him and didn't need to hold up this surface male guise was good.

[@dethkid7]

"Be a man" is most important phrase I've been told and it was from my mother who raised me on her own. The phrase "Be a Man" doesn't mean to not show any femininity (as some people call it weakness), but it only means to "stand up straight, walk tall, be a leader not a follower, be a man of your word, don't complain/ take responsibility, protect your loved ones (regardless of sex/sexuality), ect...". No matter who you are, stand up for yourself. "Be a man" is just a phrase that means "be a better person" for males, not putting down femininity in anyway.

[@hegotistic9073]

Agree with you

[@margaretbryan8336]

dethkid7, if this was everyone's definition of "being a man" we'd be fine. We need to make that happen.

[@CircusofPython]

***** Because you're talking to your SON. Thus he's gonna grow up to be a man. Or is that against the new flavor of the month in terms of that "gender roles" BS?

[@dethkid7]

***** like what CircusofPython said, you're talking to your son. Unless you're son is "mentally" a female (idk the political term is for that), then there's no problem w/ saying be a man. There's nothing wrong with saying "Be a man" just because some people are too sensitive with their own image/role in life.

[@ErynnSchwellinger]

CircusofPython Except that your son is just a child, and your definition of it isn't the one that it's used as. Telling a crying child to be a man - which is how it is most used - you tell him that there is something wrong with him, that men don't havbe emotions, and that being a child is wrong. It's so flawed I don't even know where to begin. Finally, using the 'be a man' reinforces that girls and boys are very different, regardless of your intent. Words have more power than you are crediting, subconsciously.

[@SwedishViking1988]

When I say "Man up" I don't mean that you're not allowed to show feelings to even cry. It means that you're supposed to deal with your problems rather than just complain about them and do nothing about it, which will just make yourself feel bad and sad about yourself. It got nothing to do with showing how tough you are or how better you are supposed to be than others.

[@viciousrape]

why is that complaining and problem solving are considered contradictory, can't you do both? why is it that males are the ones that can't complain instead of humanity in general? why is this solely a male torture project? complaining is just something we're all gonna do. not everything in life is a thing you're supposed to surmount like it's some kind of competition. your lover dies shortly after your child is born, your child dies shortly after being born, your father dies prematurely, your mother falls horribly ill, you get into a car accident that leaves you needing a wheelchair, and you lose your job. can you complain then, or do you have to man up and pretend like none of those things affect you and be Batman when it comes to problem solving?

[@ShadowriverUB]

viciousrape the man you wish for would probably commit suicide at that point or be depressed rest of there life, paralized by there emotions.

[@viciousrape]

Shadowriver "the man I wish for"? what?

[@ShadowriverUB]

viciousrape not in love sense... well i don't know ;p

[@viciousrape]

Shadowriver was wondering wtf you were talking about.. lol

[@StaticAnnouncementEsq]

Guys, the point of this video is not to turn a complete 180 from what is considered "masculinity". Not going to write a book, but to put it bluntly, males are allowed to have feelings and show them while still acting like men, just as females are allowed to be strong and independent without losing what makes them women. It's not that radical of a concept.

[@KCGeno]

***** -- Those are the only choices? You're ... um ... lacking in grey matter.

[@Ravenholm337]

***** Strength in the presence of weakness. Courage in the face of fear. A real man is what he makes of himself FOR himself.. if he so chooses.

[@skepticpunk_]

***** Oh, okay. So if men are ever injured, they should just pretend there's nothing wrong and do nothing to fix it? Should men simply lie about how capable they truly are? If we can't admit to our weaknesses and mistakes, then how the hell are we expected to grow from it? Are we just supposed to pretend we're healthier than we truly are? Lying about your abilities and health never works out in the long run, because what'll happen is that people will expect you to be able to do something, but you won't be able to do it because you don't have the ability to. You will be unable to prove yourself, and people will never trust you to uphold whatever duties you choose to take on, because you will have sacrificed all of your honor for the sake of a lie. But if you show the bravery and responsibility to admit to yourself and those who depend on you in the first place that you simply can't do something, then you take the first step on the road to *actually* being able to do it, and provide for your community, as well as yourself. Admitting weakness leads to becoming a stronger person in the long run, and in the end, that's what matters most.

[@matthewlane]

"them while still acting like men" An with that you just demonstrated why you are as much a part of the problem as anyone. How does one ACT like a man.... Being a man doesn't mean anything because of the social experiment we conducted on the populace over the last 40 years in which we told women men weren't necessary & then made it easy to deprive children of fathers,

[@matthewlane]

***** "I don't think StaticAnnouncement was trying to offend, or meant disrespect." I don't think he was either, but what he or she said was none the less exactly the kind of unintentional statement that this very video is talking about being negative. The idea that we are "acting" as men, rather than just "being " men... An that the problem with the boys who are becoming men at the moment do have to "ACT" because they have no positive male role models on whom to model themselves, from whom they can draw a positive frame of reference.

[@boyinapeatbog]

I don't think this is talking about emasculating men at all. This is talking about how men are taught to bottle up their emotions and never talk about their issues and how extraordinarily damaging that can be to an individual. I know that I am totally unable to speak to my father about any personal issues, and speaking to anyone at all is difficult because of this socially enforced view that men have to be stoic and strong ALL THE TIME. This isn't about making men more like women or women more like men (as if that really matters so much these days), but giving men the opportunity to reach out to someone when they need to, and to not be afraid to seek help because of some social construct. I think a lot of the comments here really misinterpret the intention of this video.

[@themasterofstealthcj]

Thanks for this. I was losing a lot of hope when reading through most of the comments.

[@skepticpunk_]

themasterofstealthcj I agree. The fucking deluge of trolls derailing actual discussion is ridiculous.

[@Peoplesuuck]

Ya but if you survive your childhood of this "pressure" as I did, then you easily become a much tougher man throughout the rest of life. You and every man and every human being is entitled to their emotions. Many times however it is required of the men-of-the-men to set aside "how they feel" to take control and command through bad or hurtful situations. The "pressure" as a boy to "be a man" sorts the weak WILLED from the strong WILLED. Not physical strength, but that which you can endure in your head while under pressure to make the correct move(s) later in life in the heat of an over-pressured moment.

[@Ravenholm337]

Peoplesuuck Why is that any different from teaching girls and women to be strong-willed? (it's not, in this case) So the argument is why is that a "manly" thing to do? The whole thing is about an image that doesn't even hold up for any practical purposes.. You don't have to "MAN up".. You just have to take control.

[@boyinapeatbog]

Peoplesuuck I'm not talking about WILL or strength. I'm talking about long-term emotional well-being. Anyone (of either gender) who is well brought up enough should be able to endure a certain degree of emotional stress under pressure, that's an essential part of human development. I'm saying that the cumulative feelings left from the multiple pressure-events throughout human life can and almost certainly will internally damage a person. Being able to handle that stress in-the-moment is definitely beneficial, but being taught to force it all inside FOREVER and never ever talk about the emotional stresses we face will in the long term will have a significant negative effect on psychological well-being. To the point that it can break a person. And that benefits no-one. Talking about these internalised feelings can repair the damage, which is so much more preferable than leaving a man who is afraid to share with a broken mind.

[@readmeastory3965]

I hate when people tell guys not to cry. Human emotions are human emotions, regardless of gender. I wish guys would cry more when they need to, instead it manifests itself to anger. ):

[@kozemchuk]

word, crying fucking rules.

[@animatronicfuturisticshama1153]

''I wish guys would cry more'' you want guys to be trainwrecks who can't be in charge of their emotions? So you want men to be women, then? Personally I can't really cry that often. Personally I've cried like 3 times since I was 12, not because I am holding anything in but because I genuinely don't need to. Crying like a brat isn't gonna get you anywhere, it's only gonna make everyone see that you're weak and easy prey.

[@joeldufty6509]

Warrior of Slaanesh, "I wish guys would cry more *when they need to*". You haven't needed to, great, they aren't saying you should cry more in that case. Also, nice sexism in the middle there, saying women are emotional wrecks AND implying being a woman is worse than being a man.

[@Salomon_G]

Elliot Rodger cried a lot. Crying doesn't do shit. Working on improving oneself does. That's what boys need to be taught. Crying doesn't do a damn thing and most teen to grown males simply can't cry often. Women don't get that. I mean, I'm not even holding back tears, they just aren't there. We aren't women.

[@yggtheterribleone8077]

Men, actually process and experience emotion in the migdula, with few connections to the frontal cortex in comparison to women. Taking action, is the best way for a boy or a man to deal with emotional hardship.

[@ArchaicStigma]

It seems like some guys are getting really defensive about this, I think that most people are missing the point. This video isn't saying you shouldn't be manly and take care of yourself/solve things on your own. I think what it's saying is that Men are often manipulated into doing things under the premise that if they don't they aren't a man. This has more to do with gender identity than anything else, but I understand why some people got confused.

[@LOSTONITALL]

Thank you for assuming things about how men feel and think. You're a gem.

[@chrisallum9044]

the person confused...genuinely...is you. You are right about what they are trying to say in the doco. they too share your confusion. "Men are often manipulated into doing things under the premise that if they don't they aren't a man" so this, its not manipulation. its admiration and imitation. but to really get down to it its that you and they do not understand how its directly connected to in fact becoming a "real man" as they say. its not toxic. its just masculinity. masculinity is defined not as a word but by the men alive at the time..through behavior etc what i mean there is the man came then the definition rather than the reverse and when it shifts its the men followed by the word each time. so as an example "stop crying" it takes practice to be able to function during intense emotional stress (resulting in crying) if you cant function you can't be a man..or much else. You aren't capable of helping others. this is one of the things called toxic. It isn't. i realized not ten minutes ago saying something similar that perhaps the feminists method is backwards. Instead of not training boys to be men that training ought be extended to girls. ...actually now i think that through more i like it because i'm thinking of all the girls raised as such "the country girl" type..hunting one, not m'lady one lol I think it might just come down to the fact the humanities at university have like zero men these days...so they never get challenged and when they do its just some guy instead of fellow professor. it's like we don't all have to be farmers but we NEED farmers. we don't all need to be men but we NEED men...even in todays modern world. Its an ignorant attack on masculinity generally speaking. ...im not butthurt fyi..im actually about to watch it in full. Hope i've cleared at least one or two things up..ive gone on enough haha

[@jsema9767]

What is your definition of masculinity?

[@LavaCreeperPeople]

@@jsema9767 not being an asshole

[@ScorpSt]

When I was young, no one ever said any of this stuff to me. I wasn't told to "be a man". I was told to be myself. That worked well for me until I entered fourth grade and transferred to a new school. At the new school, I was picked on for no reason that I could tell. It lasted until close to the end of the school year, at which point I finally lost my temper and stabbed the kid who'd been bullying me the most in the back with a pencil. I don't know how this happened, as I blacked out when I did it, violence being so against my nature. I transferred schools again after that, and while I never had the same level of antagonisation at any other school I went to, there was always one or two kids who targeted me for no other reason than me not living up to their expectations of masculinity. Throughout High School, my girlfriend was asked by many different people, bolt girls and boys, if I was gay. I wasn't. I simply didn't fit the mold of what a "real man" was in their eyes. When it comes down to it, you, as a man, have two choices. You can "be a man" and be miserable, but still have lots of friends (who are probably miserable too); or you can be yourself, and be lonely, until you meet other people who decided to be themselves and you can all be different together. The more guys out there decide to be themselves rather than fitting into society's little mold for them, the happier everyone can be.

[@TheBlueToad]

These words were truly inspiring!

[@sherlock3202]

Its been 7 years the world has not changed yet. Its not your fantacy world its the real world. inorder for you to survive in it you need to adapt yourself. Everything good in life is waiting for you outside of your comfort zone

[@brandonluco]

i got told i wasn't fit for the football team 3 years in a row and it was because i had long curly hair and the coach and guys on the team also didn't want to play with someone who grew there hair that long which made no sense cause you see this in the NFL with people like troy who have long curly hair, ill admit I was weak when i first tried out but after failing at that i just worked really fucking hard to show him and the team that i wasn't "weak" but after 3 years of lifting and being able to do sets of 225 on the bench but still not being able to make the team i knew something was up. I found out after highschool that the coach actually did hated kids who grew there hair long because it made them look like a girl...lol. life goes on and i just fucked off on the 4th year of trying cause it was getting pathetic, i got a bigger benefit from learning how to lift and be healthy then that football team could have ever given me.

[@jordannoir1919]

I think the hateful, bigotry comments -- from guys mainly -- shows the effects of being told to "man up". You all need to re-evaluate yourselves and realise that you're nothing but a product of social expectation.

[@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider]

everybody of both genders are a product of social expectation. and have you ever noticed that the more effeminate men strongly tend to be the annoying complainers that no one likes to be around?

[@adrianbrody1683]

Making men weak and effeminate is also trying to turn men into docile workers and good consumers. what do you think Fight Club was about? Men are supposed to be violent sometimes, men have evolved as the Hunters of the tribe, the warriors of their civilization. Men aren't made for working as some desk junky in an office, or consuming meaningless products. This is why this bullshit "talk about your feelings" shit is just an attempt to proscribe to Men what works for Women, despite Men and Women being nothing alike. Men need to control their emotions, like a Stoic.

[@str41t]

@The Life Analyst Nor the law. At least y'all can be the tough guys in the jail. lmao

[@Whatever16167]

@The Life Analyst That's why single motherhood is on the rise in black community? " While 74.3 percent of all White children below the age of 18 live with both parents, *only 38.7 percent of African-American minors* can say the same." - www.afro.com/census-bureau-higher-percentage-black-children-live-single-mothers/ What a daddy material lol

[@Whatever16167]

@The Life Analyst I'm not triggered, more like amused. "Imposing homosexuality" yeah whatever. Like anyone is doing this. I come from a conservative country and men get triggered at anything "gay" at their sight. Even rainbows that are not even LGBT+ ones.

[@KezzyBoo]

This video is everything I wrote in a story for my College Senior project. A boy and a Man who is allowed to have and own his emotions is a more empowered human being. In a poem also connected to my SP, I stated that "A man is first a man to himself" and as a woman, I hope that I always push men and young men into that particular space because the freedom of being a man to yourself and not for the pleasure of everyone else opens so many doors for males, especially in the area of companionship. Good luck to all you men and young men.

[@metalliholic]

After watching this trailer, I'm trying to man up and hold my tears in. "No bro, Let em all out" -Myself *Tear*

[@Ryebread1983]

Testify, brother, testify.

[@SirDave]

Just looking at this comment section shows me how people always love to take something not for what it is. A lot of comments prove how some men reinforce these same stereotypes and mindsets of what being a man is, mostly be the comments like, "it's not an issue." "softest video ever", etc. *Smh* The things that people really need to be critical of, people often don't criticize, they just accept. The things that people need to keep an open mind to because it might be an issue and may warrant change, people love to criticize. Oh the irony...

[@argella1300]

Fact: comments on media on the internet about how feminism isn't needed or an issue help to further prove the argument that feminism is still needed.

[@SpikedYum]

argella1300 We don't need martial law...THIS PRUVS WEH NEED MARTIAL LAWWW!! That is how moronic your mentality is here. The expression of something not being needed does not justify its need to exist, and if this is your idea of "fact" or "proof", then sorry, love, but "you demonstrate why feminism is not needed".

[@IamBrixTM]

Truth. So well said.

[@sherlock3202]

Girl age 16: "You're such a nice guy." Translation: " I don't want to hurt your feelings, or come off as a bitch to my friends, but I'm really much more attracted to Bad Boys -outlaw bikers, the football team's quarterback, basically any guy who appears dangerous and exciting. You're Nice, nice and mundane" Girl age 22: "You're such a nice guy." Translation: "Thanks for listening on the phone to me cry, fall into verbal hysterics and drone on for hours about my Jerk BF (oh, and my little dog too). You're really sweet, and deserve a girl (which isn't me) who can appreciate how nice (i.e. mundane) you are." Girl age 28: "You're such a nice guy." Translation: "I know you've always been (an) my emotional tampon, and thanks for sticking with it - any sane guy would've found a far better prospect by now. And while I'm beginning to see that guys like you are stable, dependable and tend to make a lot more money than the Jerks I've dated, I think I'm gonna hold out for a hotter guy than you while my looks still hold up" Woman age 32: "Why can't I just find a nice guy?" Translation: My jerk ex BF/ex husband left me with this 4 year old rugrat, a stack of bills and a broken down car. Well, actually, I kicked him out, but who's keeping score? I'm screaming toward The Wall at Mach 3, I can feel my eggs dying and my body shriveling up. Woman age 35+: "You're such a nice guy." Translation: "Oh, you're a Nice Guy,..here, let me suck that for you. See? Being a Nice Guy does get you Iaid!,..thanks for being there for me when I needed you; my fatherless kids appreciate your generosity too. How chivalrous of you to forgive my past indiscretion and take us in, I wish there were more guys like you. I really pity the women who can't appreciate your kind of dedication - you are so different from "other guys"".

[@DanialHallock]

This is really the _only_ time I ever entertain the construct of a Men's Rights' Activist (MRA), and it's ironic that this is essentially the fall out of older men devaluing feminine behavior in younger men. To my eyes, most of our problems as men come from the way we treat ourselves. It's not the women who have devalued feminine behavior; it's us. It was older men who taught their children not to cry, not to compromise with the weaker sex (or be "pussy whipped"), to resort to violence to solve problems, and not to seek help. Everything comes down to manning up or being something less than a man; as if this hyper-masculine ideal of a man is healthy for anyone, of either gender.

[@JoshuaHocieniec]

Real men don't give a shit what anyone else says a real man is. Not a bad video but it's incomplete. The words aren't the issue, the context is. "Don't let anyone disrespect you." "Respect is tied to violence." That shows a lack of understanding what respect is. "Don't let your woman control your life." Don't let anyone control your life. "Be a man." Yes, by all means. But let's make sure we define _man_ correctly while we're saying it, not some hyper masculine caricature.

[@DanialHallock]

You're projecting _your_ understanding on what _other_ people teach their kids. It's fallacious to say that, just because you don't associate respect with violence, that no one teaches that to their kids. Similarly, just because _you_ would teach your kids that no one should control your life (gender neutral) doesn't mean a large number of kids aren't taught that same lesson with an emphasis on women. After all, I've never heard "Dick whipped" in any context that *wasn't* X-rated.

[@JoshuaHocieniec]

That's why I said it's the context, not the words. You made my argument for me.

[@DanialHallock]

Fair enough; however, I think it's safe to assume that _a lot_ of parents are using the wrong context.

[@JoshuaHocieniec]

Yup. A lot of people are wrong.

[@Perfect492]

I am a 14 year old girl and I couldn't agree more. The boys in my school are constantly pressured into feeling like a 'lad'. Its okay to be emotional, its okay to be normal.

[@JeffreyAmbrose]

As a single father, I'm already out of the typical convention of what a man is. Many people don't know how to relate to me, but this video shows me that I am raising my son to be a real man. He cries, wants hugs, gets upset, and while 10% of the time I tell him to become stronger only because I am finding hard. My boy is also only 8 and has a lot of childhood left. I am going to let him become the man he wants to become . .

[@SianRidden]

Wonderful comments. It is never easy being a parent, either a single, co parenting or family unit one.from the sounds of it you are giving your children an awesome upbringing. Keep sane, and don't forget to take time for yourself. Being a single parent means you don't get much downtime! I know I value my once a month massage time on my own very very much!

[@AarBearCares]

It is so sad and disappointing that many of you, mostly guys, are misinterpreting this as something "anti-man".

[@nachonacho9785]

That is the mask

[@jakeknapp6833]

Even sexist against them also toxic behavior of masculine in stereotypes cause racism to others or wannabe mafias or street gangs or wannabe bullies and to be anti alternate subculture, bullying someone how they dress, over weight or thin not necessarily underweight. Also teaching them to be sexist or criminals or shooters, doing drugs, vulgar, alcoholic, and more.

[@79szonja]

I think this isn't about man being feminine. It is about being able to show emotions within their family and with friends and ask for help when they need it.

[@thusspoke08]

Julianna Kovacs men have always shown emotions...just not as much as women. This is a strawmen argument

[@crappiefisher1331]

+Sound of Sleep /amen i dont know a single men who does not cry, laugh, love, hate or feel all the other emotions.. there are just some things men probably dont want to do in public like crying for example.. but thats not because some weird stuff our daddy told us about "boys dont cry" - everyone know boys do also cry - but just because men and women are different... omg, now i have to hide myself.. i dared to say that man and woman are different.. hell is going to break lose...

[@drewleibel153]

Julianna Kovacs +

[@lobaetoile8440]

crappiefisher13: Well yes men and women are different, but also have a lot in common because we are you know... people, human beings. In my experience, many women are you know sensitive and cry easily (like me) but I also know women who hate crying in front of other people and are really "though", protective, independent and strong (as conservatives say men should be.) My sister for example is very feminine yet I haven't seen her cry in many years, and she had lots of reasons to cry... (she's just really emotionally strong) So lets say it's not really "men and women who are different"... but "People are different"... but not so different. And people should know although they should be honest, respectful, etc (have moral values)... they don't have to act in a certain way or have certain mannerism... they can be themselves and that's alright. You don't "have to be" exceptionally masculine to be a "real" man or exceptionally feminine to be a "real" women. Hopefully I made sense.

[@nealfilm]

This is such an important message. And everyone who wants to fix the issues of female objectification, demeaning sexist comments and the rape culture, MUST REALIZE much of it starts RIGHT HERE, with boys being socialized to behave like that. This IS a feminist issue... Its not boys vs girls... THEY ARE INTERCONNECTED!

[@MAORIguy25]

I'm a man. I'm proud to be a man. What this video speaks to me feels like truth, and I feel stronger for it. Stronger that I can understand how society may influence me, and so really decide for myself what is right or wrong, meaningful or not. Some of you 'bro's' on here sound... dumb, to put it bluntly. Knowledge is power. Don't close yourself up.

[@demianhaki7598]

This is going to be a very important documentary. To teach people that nothing creates greater self-confidence, self-respect and emotional stability than to be authentic, to be honest with yourself and your issues. Doesn't mean that you don't have to be tough and resilient once in a while when life hands you a challenge, but not all the time, not everyday, not when there is no need to be.

[@fleurthefrenchcat]

well said

[@pi3tr3]

authentic is the key word. well said

[@SerenSoreli]

Wow. This video is like a message to all men that we need to start playing the victim card and blame other people for our problems. I refuse to stoop to the level of feminists and race-baiters.

[@DembaiVT]

Or, you know, start just being human. This isn't about making you feel bad for having been told to be a man. It's about looking at why "being a man" has been linked to destructive behavior, and ideally, changing that phrase to mean being a healthy person with loving attitudes towards self and others.

[@SerenSoreli]

capnquack Playing the victim card and refusing to own up to your own problems in life is not healthy. Neither is convincing men, who are naturally more masculine, that they need to start acting more feminine. This will only confuse men more about their identities and their sexuality, something that the feminists have been working at for a long time. The entire mentality is more destructive than anything masculinity has brought about. "When confronted with a problem, it's OK to just cry and whine about it rather than be a man and overcome it." Idealists tend to believe in this "feel good, everybody hug" mentality. Realists know it would only work in a fantasy land.

[@daisukeserizawa8428]

Seren Good posts, Seren

[@suryavajra]

Or you can always turn around, play the victim card and blame the feminists....They'll never see that one coming...

[@SerenSoreli]

suryavajra You actually bring up a really great point. As of now, I have no rebuttal to this. I'm still thinking on it here and there when I get the chance.

[@ShastaLin]

I can honestly say this is one of the best documentaries I've ever watched! I watched it with my teenage son and we paused it a lot to talk about different points. I think it's good for everyone to watch.

[@aynroberts]

This is a great trailer for a great project. I've read too many comments of people (ok, predominantly men) missing the point. This is not about devaluing personal strength, this is redefining it a healthy and effective way - Not in female/male terms. Strength has been hijacked by our society to mean something that it is not. It is not about swallowing your feelings, it's about dealing with them in a mature and effective way. Pretending they don't exist is harmful to that person and their relationships. It is harmful to a society that holds that expectation. Everyone knows this. Quit projecting your repressed issues onto the next generation. You deserved better and this generation deserves better. Let's work towards making it better.

[@mr_knowitall]

What you call "swallowing" we call "managing". This vague notion of redefining strength in a "healthy" and "effective" way means nothing. It's just poetry. First of all, the way men manage their emotions is highly effective for the most part. It's the outliers (murderers, despots, rapists, etc.) that cast a shadow on what the rest of us have successfully attained. You say that it's US men who are missing the point, when truly, US men are the only ones who truly know what is going on inside of our own heads. Sure, some men struggle with trying to live up to a masculine ideal, but many of us don't. Many of us thrive in that environment and love every second of it. Stop trying to make us all the same, or even worse, more like you.

[@aynroberts]

mr.knowitall This is not women forcing their views of healthy behavior onto men, these are issues and resentments that stem from men. So your entire point makes no sense. You are trying to perpetuate a myth and set of behaviors that many men and women don't want to buy into anymore because it's absolute garbage. Meaningful communication can be begotten from both genders, through similar methodologies. Will we have some differences in communication and relation style? Yup! But it's not as expansive and divided as you want to believe. What a sad silly idea, mr.knowitall.

[@IamBrixTM]

​@@mr_knowitallThis ideology won't make you happy.

[@mr_knowitall]

@@aynroberts "This is not women forcing their views of healthy behavior onto men" Of course it is. Even the trailer says as much, that men have devalued that which is feminine, aka feelings. Granted, their are men chiming in as well, but it's utterly fallacious to think that men are predominantly dissatisfied with society's expectations. Men want to be men, so telling men to act like men isn't a challenge most men shrink from. They embrace it. "Will we have some differences in communication and relation style? Yup! " The difference in communication and relation style you're referring to is the very difference you're trying to eradicate. Feminists, which I assume you are, tend to always reduce everything to nurture instead of nature. As an anecdote, a friend of mine has a sister that transitioned into a man. When she started taking hormone therapy, ie. testosterone, she told the brother how she no longer related to her girlfriends anymore because she couldn't understand why they were so emotional. The hormones changed her. She even had to scale back the treatment because the feelings of aggression and lack of emotion were too foreign to her. That feeling she ran from is what most men find natural. You might think men are faking masculinity, but my friend's "sister" knows better, as do most men. But keep fighting. Just recognize you're at war with mother nature.

[@mr_knowitall]

@@IamBrixTM But I am happy

[@JamesWK08]

Reading some of the comments, I have to get my opinion out there. The message is very simple: Men are not given a platform by which to express themselves in a healthy way. Society has created barriers for men. And if a boy tries to express their feelings they can be labelled as sissies, gay, etc. That kind of thinking along with the opposition to the documentary I've seen in the comments stems entirely from a belief that women and femininity are somehow inferior to men and masculinity. If a boy acts feminine, why is this a big deal? What about being feminine makes someone inferior? If humans as a whole become more sensitive over time, why is that an issue? At the end of the day we need to let individuals be themselves, regardless of gender. If that means a boy acts like a girl (or vice versa) it shouldn't be a big deal. Not in my eyes anyway.

[@JannesonMultiMediaEditor]

Such a destructive way of thinking. I've been thinking this for a long time. Why is it so scary to our society that men and women might be thinking, feeling and experiencing the same thoughts and struggles? I think it's a really amazing thing!

[@JannesonMultiMediaEditor]

I don't understand how people think this is feminist... o___O;; I am sad for these people...

[@damienholland8103]

@@JannesonMultiMediaEditor I don't feel sad for them I feel like they're enemies. Those are the types of guys who quickly resort to bullying, violence, insulting, or taking advantage of a situation when they think another guy is 'weak' for being more emotionally expressive or for showing sadness, kindness, etc. They're pure scum. The only reason why such men don't talk like that to me in person is because they know I might be a threat but they have no problem doing it online.

[@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider]

we learn from an early age that the more emotional men are routinely rejected by the more desireable women. also, the more emotional men tend to be complainers that just irritate everyone which may be why the more desireable females so routinely reject them.

[@rsu8689]

"Why is it so scary to our society that men and women might be thinking, feeling and experiencing the same thoughts and struggles?" Because patriarchy is based on male superiority and female inferiority: "To be sure he's a `Man', the male must see to it that the female be clearly a `Woman', the opposite of a `Man' ..." - Valerie Solanas

[@SusiePettit]

OH WOW THIS IS POWERFUL! As a mom of 3 boys and a Cognitive Life Coach I LOVE that you're getting this message out. THANK YOU

[@TheDerzie]

I really think a lot of people are missing the point of this video. It isn't about putting feminization into men or making them be "more girlie". It's about allowing men to be more open about their feelings, which is not a "girl's only" action. From what I've seen from men who were forced to "man up" and "grow balls", they became depressed just like the video illustrated because they were told to do something that didn't sit well with them or because they had tons of emotions locked up and the only way they could get it out would be to act out in violence. Hell, my husband almost commit suicide before he met me because he felt he was a failure because of the impression that was put on him. After coming to terms with his feelings and having the support of his friends to be open, he came out of the depressive stage he was in and was able to function normally (i.e., actually eat food and stop starving himself). The same thing is said for women. This isn't a feminazi plan to get people to be more "girlie". It's a human thing because we as human beings are social creatures and we have social needs. It doesn't matter if you are a girl or a boy, a man or a woman. There are not specific behavioral roles that are assigned to or at least should be assigned to one gender or sex. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to hug your friend, hug your friend. Show compassion. It isn't a woman thing only.

[@HeirOfGlee]

My mother still say "stop crying like a little girl" and I would have to constantly correct her

[@sambow9301]

stop turning this to a women thing women are a lot more free than men to be themselves women are judged less harshly in this country

[@WDC_OSA]

samuel bowers having fun in that cave there?

[@koonachota]

samuel bowers It's not a binary relation dude. Women and men face entirely different problems when it comes to being able to be yourself and you cannot measure them up against each other in any way.

[@HeirOfGlee]

samuel bowers Im going to assume you are an idiot but have a chance to learn. How you see it is up to you but you are extremely hostile and carried the sentence the way you felt it should go. So why you always have to make it about women? Here is why I asked. If I was talking about girls I would of said my mother always tell girls (HINT HINT THE GIRLS PART) to "close their legs they are not boys" and would constantly correct her. That sentence (the very first) has nothing to do with only girls but with putting down both. Telling the boy to (HINT HINT) man up instead of feeling and putting down girls as the lesser, but still the topic was about boys so I addressed it (HINT HINT) the man up part which was mentioned constantly in this video. (HINT HINT, TELLING A BOY TO NOT CRY LIKE A GIRL IS ANOTHER WAY TO SAY MAN UP!) Hope you see the hints.

[@Amber-xp6se]

samuel bowers You missed the point, completely. I, and I assume many others, realize that she is talking about what her mother says to "little boys". Either way, this is also a women's issue because women live in the same patriarchal society men do. Women are influenced by these same ignorant standards set for men and teach it to their sons. Also, you fail to realize that the phrase "stop crying like a little girl" or any other phrase that sends the message that emotions are feminine and therefore unworthy, weak and negative is a problem that affects both men and women. It is insanely foolish to say that, "women are a lot more free than men to be themselves women are judged less harshly in this country" because that is not true by any means. Just as men are conditioned into the social construct of masculinity, so are women conditioned into femininity. Both are detrimental ideas that keep our society locked into a warped sense of self and not reality. Women are expected to make themselves, by any means necessary, into the male ideal of perfection. Women are expected to obey and comply to the will of men without question or else they are a "Bitch" or a "lesbian". Women are expected to be the one to sacrifice a career and a life outside the home or else she is either not a "real woman" (whatever that means) or she is a horrible mother while men are free to do what they like whether they choose to have children or not. No, this video was not focused on women and it's about time society addresses the issue of the masculine social construct, however, your eyes are closed if you think women have it easier. Perhaps this video shows us that we all have it pretty bad and it is time we stop separating the sexes and realize that besides different sex organs and physical strength, we are all human beings with way more in common than we have differences.

[@ImaginarySkyfriend]

From reading these comments, it's clear that many of you either didn't watch this documentary or you completely missed the point.

[@duluthbro]

See what happens if you clog a vehicle's exhaust pipe? Well that's what happens when men can't show their true emotions. Exhaust is a necessity for survival and mental health.

[@jamesford5541]

That's the most accurate description I've heard

[@mrAZcardinal]

Well, it's about DAMN TIME. Yes, I'm gay, and yes, I'm a man who loves another man- not a feminine man in love with a masculine man, or a masculine man in love with a feminine man. Just a man in love with a man.

[@duytan2590]

Correction: you're a male in love with another the male/ males, you're NOT a man!

[@hjiuhfhrehui]

Tan Le in fact he his :P the fact he has a penis proves hes a man. thats actually the defenition of a man. and a woman has a vagaina did you know that ? :)

[@SlowSlowSloth]

Tan Le Twelve year old confirmed.

[@duytan2590]

Segers A penis make you a male, not a man! Learn English, try to use a dictionary before arguing definitions! A penis is only a prerequisite to be a man, it doesn't make you a man! But I doubt a sheep can distinguish those differences!

[@muukkeli]

Segers I don't agree with Tan Le, but please don't say that a penis makes someone automatically a man, because trans people exist. Your "sex" (what you're born with) can be different from you "gender" (what you identify as). Also sex is much more fluid than people think. Most people are born with at least one characteristic that is of a different gender. For example, a man with a higher voice or less body hair. Genitals are only one thing that defines sex. Maybe this is getting a bit off topic but just saying. :D

[@robertmchenry5274]

Interesting... what the video seems to be implying is that (1) men get emotionally hurt and (2) are not allowed to discuss their emotional hurts. It is a very simple premise and does seem to be part of our culture. We as a culture do not really allow men to have feelings or to process them. Instead we, as men, are told to not have feelings, to get over them, to ignore them or to bury them. The only acceptable feeling to have is anger (which is also the easiest). In the comments section, there seems to be some debate on how this video is attacking masculinity and it seems to be replicating the idea that idea that having "feelings of fear, embarrassment, sadness, hurt etc" is not ok. It is ok to have them... but it is not ok to be "ruled" by them. The only way not to be "ruled" by them is to experience them, see where they come from, deal with the underlining cause of them and to move on... but you can not move on if you don't recognize them... When you loose your girlfriend or your parent... you are allowed to feel as crappy as you want...for as long as you need to... when people tell you to move on or "man up"... what they are really telling you is that your sadness and hurt is making "them" uncomfortable. It is their fear and/or embarrassment at not being able to do anything to help that might be driving it... but feeling your feeling and dealing with them... is being a man... and more importantly... it is being an adult man.

[@robertlangford6639]

Beautifully put sir, To be honest i got the same sort of feelings from this video. It didn't come across as a emasculation of men and boys to me.

[@natashaandspencer]

Well stated and so true!!!

[@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider]

it's definately ok to cry over a lost parent but when you cry because something didn't go your little entitled way then you're just being a little bitch lol

[@salmon3669minecraft]

@@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider jesus, this whole thing really offended you.

[@DamitFeelsGoodtobeaRaider]

@@salmon3669minecraft nah, i just don't find it realistic

[@Andrewclovis]

Absolutely fantastic and soo true. My mother left my father when I was 19 months old because he hit her. She raised myself two other siblings all by herself. What a woman she is. I thank God every day that she had the power to get out. Otherwise I would have grown up with a toxic Male and only God knows what I would have seen or become. Thanks for this movie. Spread the love!

[@LaciFrerrtani]

I think this is great. We live in a world where we classify normal qualities as "feminine" and "masculine". If we simply erased these labels and see that things like this do more damage than good. Sure, it may not affect some boys but it seems to affect a lot. I've had a lot of (guy) friends tell me that they hate how they have to run and hide to cry because people will label them as a wuss. This is so saddening to me because crying is such a good thing. It shows people our emotions,a signal for help, and must of all a stress relief. We are still stuck in this horrible mentality that being emotional is a woman's thing,but in reality God gave every human those emotions. If he wanted men to robots who just provides for his family, he wouldn't give men emotions. We all get sad,cry,hurt,angry, happy, excited,confused, lonely, and all that good stuff because we human,not because we are male or female. To those who say this is a feminist video, it isn't. You are not opening yourself to new ideas to help you grow. This is a wonderful video and I'm so glad I saw it.

[@NZealandKiwi]

Correct. Most males I know who pretend not to feel emotions and deem those who do as 'feminine' are the weakest of them all.

[@Ericanious]

It isn't a good thing to show emotions. Instead of crying you could be changing your situation! That's the entire point of "be a man"! Stop making our men into weak women! They are meant to take charge, not cry. Crying accomplishes nothing.

[@myha5053]

Halitosis ByOsmosis Then why can't women take charge? They are intelligent but why they must make unusual efforts to succeed? Showing emotions don't make you weak, showing them make you feel alive and not some download software robots.

[@innerstrengthcoach]

IT's good the boy went to hide when he wanted to cry. You're a woman, and what's good for you is not necessarily good for a man.

[@kozemchuk]

Halitosis ByOsmosis crying and taking action are not mutually exclusive. i find that crying helps clear my head and prepare me to move forward.

[@WilkineBrutus]

It looks very interesting. I look forward to watching it.

[@DoodlesByAdzie]

Looks very interesting. Can't wait to watch it.

[@fliptizzy7690]

Don't understand all the hateful comments here. It's not about hating men or trying to make them feminine. It's about looking at some social pressures that might be hurting our boys. They are humans too. Messages like don't feel, don't talk about your problems, never cry, be a dick, be badass, treat women like dirt, actually prevent boys from growing up to be healthy, responsible men. I worked in a poor urban neighborhood one day and an elderly lady told me she didn't understand why the girls were doing fine, finishing school and getting jobs, but the boys were all in jail, on drugs, or dead. She asked me why and I could only guess that maybe the boys were trying to live up to some hyper-masculine ideals. Of course those are not the only reasons, but it doesn't help that so many boys get messages that being tough and aggressive is the way to be a man.

[@TheJoelef]

NOBODY thinks treating women like dirt is manly. Your a moron. Many boysin the urban community go to jail and end up on drugs because there no father in the house to teach them how to be a man. Because the feminist have preach "strong independent women"

[@r.r815]

@@TheJoelef this comment is so ironic

[@tobenator15]

Saw a screening of this film a year ago at a Eastern Washington University in Spokane, WA. It is one of the most well done, informative documentaries I have ever seen. Far and away the best documentary concerning men and culture. An important film for both men and women alike to watch. Waste no time and rent/purchase it now!

[@1lovetheocean]

BE WHO YOU ARE. WE ARE ONE. WE ARE A PART OF THIS WORLD AND NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL ANOTHER WHAT HE IS/HAVE TO BE.

[@NobodyOwesYouAnythin]

Nope. We sure don't. But after someone makes up their mind to be a "Certain Way" there's nothing that says we have to like it or to agree with it. Nor do we have to remain silent about it either. When I see some pathetic assclown with stretched out earring loops hanging down almost to their shoulders, do what I do; Grab two padlocks from your bag and real quick, lock them through the holes and walk away. ;-) Ya, I know! LOL ... Live Long & Prosper!

[@1lovetheocean]

so keep our minds open is the best advice. all people should search what are we made of (stardust) and then, they will see how insignificant all this hate and desumanity is. above all stands LOVE! we have to love each other as ONE!

[@VinnieHan]

So many more people need to see and understand this. I hope all of my male friends see this message and understand it too - it's ok to just BE YOURSELF.

[@angelapham9983]

I saw the whole documentary on Kanopy for my sociology class and this was one of the best documentaries I've ever seen! Everything in this documentary film is so relevant!

[@burtonlee22]

This is exactly right. Let's add a few other shaming phrases boys receive (and men too): "Poor little boy". "Don't complain". "Stop Whining" (I get this from women a lot), “Don’t cry”, “Man Up”

[@Freethought2.0]

One of the best things I've ever learned in church was that "a wise man can learn from every body and a proud man learns from no one." Too many men get mad and lash out every single time someone says or does something they don't agree with. So many of the bullies I went to school with struggled both academically and socially in school and continued to struggle in work and in their personal lives as adults. A little bit of empathy and humbleness can go a long way.

[@FredoZade]

This was awesome! Anyone else heard walter white say "GROW SOME ****ING BALLS!" at 2:51

[@urasoul]

when emotions are denied they do not go away, they only wait for a moment when they are given acceptance. in this way vast pools of denied rage, terror and other feelings have built within us and are channeled into 'socially acceptable' pathways, which is simply too little, too late. this backlog of denied feelings needs to be given space and safe, free expression - this is a path of immense healing potential. you are loved.

[@danaterrell1]

The film to support women (by a similar team) is called "Miss Representation" -- outstanding! My husband watched it with me, and found it so depressing he asked if he could leave it half way through. I told him, "Welcome to my world. I ask you to please see what my experience has been/is." Bless him! He stayed. I haven't seen "Mask" yet, but the trailer shows it's importance, and matches the respect I have for the filmmakers. I plan to host a screening at the beginning of the year (2016).

[@openletterswithbrad]

Would be interesting to find out how many of those boys grew up in fatherless homes with no structure and guidance..

[@KingTriton1837]

You'd be surprised how many grow up in homes WITH fathers and structure and don't turn out the way society thinks they should be. This film addresses your train of thought. I grew up in a house where my father was not present very much and I am turned out fine, whatever you consider that to be. I have a meteorology, own two houses and a car and it wasn't men that taught me that. At least not the majority.

[@openletterswithbrad]

Hazafan88 That's what we call "anectdotle evidence". It is no coincidence that urban minority hoods are the most violent, and have the highest rate of fatherless homes.

[@KingTriton1837]

Brad Cooper they're not always the worst homes. Location isn't always a dead giveaway.

[@KingTriton1837]

Brad Cooper you'd be surprised (or not, I can't tell with you) what goes on in suburbia. The "urban minority hoods", as you so eloquently put it, are just easier to attack because of their known history and the image the media has portrayed to the public.

[@openletterswithbrad]

Hazafan88 or it could be the annual statistics from the CDC and FBI. If I was just going off of media stereotypes, that would be "appealing to emotion"...which is worse than citing anecdotal evidence in my opinion.

[@Venaloid]

But I'm sure that this is all the patriarchy's fault somehow.

[@tinyturk]

lol "somehow"? do you even understand what patriarchy is?

[@Venaloid]

***** - Oh, well if that's what you're calling "patriarchy", then by definition, I can't disagree with you. The way I've heard feminists use the word, it usually means something more like "the fact that most of the powerful positions in society are occupied by men" and that this somehow is responsible for all our social woes, even though there's no reason to believe things would be different if it were mostly *women* in these powerful positions.

[@allisonfortune7919]

Venaloid It's complex, so it's unlikely that someone would explain it in terms of all the causes and ramifications, especially if they were just generally defining it or talking about one part of it

[@HealsyPally]

Venaloid Most of the powerful positions in society are occupied by men -> If a boy is not seen as powerful and masculine in our society, you are seen as less than how they should be. Yes it is linked.

[@skiddilydoo]

***** Society may be placing more importance on a twisted, perverted version of masculinity than feminine traits, I think we would be good to clarify that what is being promoted is NOT true masculinity.

[@TigerPrawn_]

This is so important, I hate the fact that boys are told to 'be brave' or 'don't cry'. There's no logic behind it, emotions are there for a reason, feel your feelings! peace x

[@akivatoob]

Just brilliant! I have seen the film and come back to watch the trailer many times. Such important insights on how boys and men can miss out, and damage their relationships with girls and women, by following a narrow hyper-masculine script!

[@CuteKitten321]

Rather than complaining about your issues, you should solve them. I think that's what "man up" means. However, I can't tell whether it's really a problem to say it or not. Let's say that a guy is crying because his girlfriend cheated on him. His friend, then, tells him to "man up". He's basically telling him that he should forget about it and move on. It's sucky that he can't share his feelings with his friend, but the friend does have a point. I constantly have female friends that complain about their bodies. It's common and I'm used to it. However, it's tiring to hear it over and over. If I said, "Either accept your body or do something about it,", I would have less friends. They don't want me to help them change the way they think. They just want to vent. If they wanted me to help them, they would've asked for help rather than just simply complain about it. I don't like to complain because I don't think it's a constructive way to deal with my problems. However, I understand that speaking to someone about your problems makes you feel better. You feel like you've been heard and understood. Your mind becomes free from those thoughts for at least a moment. I think the problem with "man up" comes in the form of "Never show that you're upset about anything." If a guy cries because his mother dies and his friend tells him to "man up", is his friend right to say that? Yes, he should eventually move on, but should he not show any emotion over the death of someone important to him? Maybe, instead of simply getting rid of the term "man up", we should teach them the values behind it.

[@MrFlopz]

So what if a guy is crying over his ex? That's his own personal problem and he has the right to have leftover feelings for a girl. There's nothing virtuous about telling the guy to reject his emotions and move on. The guy who says "man up" to that is being a bad friend. If a friend really cared, he can try to feel empathy for him and talk to him about it. But guys aren't encouraged to do that in society. We're told to be ashamed of our own emotions and ridicule the emotions of other men. That's the problem. Human beings are emotion creatures and it's a problem that half the population is being told that their emotions are non-existent. Being told to "man up" doesn't simply dispel the problem. The emotions don't disappear. They just become bottled up. If a man is depressed over a breakup, those emotions will not go away simply because someone shames him for it. Those emotions will simply manifest themselves in other ways.

[@CuteKitten321]

Jimothy Schmidt I agree that the one telling the guy to "man up" is a bad friend. Especially since he denounced the second the guy showed any emotion. I assume that he'd go somewhere to cry on his own. That's probably what a lot of guys feel like they'd have to do and that's a very lonely feeling. I was just saying that I think the term might originate from better values. Not necessarily to remove all of your emotions, but to not let your emotions control your life. I've usually heard the term "man up" as "stop showing emotion" and that is a problem. I can't think of a positive outcome that would come from being emotionless other than being a very good doormat.

[@CuteKitten321]

***** I'm a bit confused about what you mean about receiving validation. I don't really give my friends validation if they complain about their bodies/looks. I just let them complain without agreeing. The way you explain how men find validation, it sounds like you're describing how they find solutions to their issues. Which is something that my friends don't receive unless they ask for it specifically when it comes to those types of sensitive issues. If you can't talk to others about issues you need solving, how would you be able to work with others in order to do so? Others can't work on a problem of yours if they don't know what it is. I agree that emotion is a good way to manipulate others to act. However, I don't believe the two go hand in hand. Sure, you could scream at someone angrily to get them to do what you want, you could cry, or make the other person feel some type of emotion (fear, pity, etc.) in order to get them to act accordingly to you preferences. However, you could also find a punching bag to punch until you're exhausted or cry in a corner. Those actions don't require others to do anything about how you're feeling, but they do release those emotions. I also, sort of, understand what you mean about being a provider. If your main job is to provide, then you should focus on that and nothing else (including receiving anything themselves, I guess). The other's job would to be to receive what the other is providing. When you speak about being less emotional as a trait to evaluate if a man would be good at providing, I would imagine that he must provide a large amount in the relationship (maybe even everything). I find that this can be a problem for the man himself, because he will be attracting those who will need (or think that they'll need) a lot from him. I imagine it as one being like a black hole and it's the other's job to fill it. Pairing a selfish individual with someone that is completely selfless. This makes me think about the two extremes associated with men and women when it comes to emotion. I usually find that being emotional is seen as a normal trait that women simply have (just not a very positive one). A woman who cries, screams, destroys, etc. to get her way is usually seen as 'crazy'. Yet, it's accepted as a thing that women do. So, choosing a woman who doesn't act this way is ludicrous to some because, to them, "women are crazy". A woman who is reasonable, understanding, willing to discuss issues (not argue about them), and is not manipulative becomes a fairy-tale - unseen in reality - because of this thinking. If someone thinks and accepts that "all women are crazy", when they find this unicorn of a woman they will be suspicious and unwilling to accept that the individual is really that way. It actually forces these people to accept less agreeable individuals to come into their lives. At the other extreme, having the idea that "men are emotionless" can make an individual believe that it is impossible for a man to feel anything (e.g., sadness, anger, fear). So, they may treat men like mannequins and/or doormats, using them simply to play with and walk all over. They can be treated as individuals that are simply there to provide what others need, like robots. What those men want shouldn't/wouldn't even be considered. A man that feels sad, gets mad or scared is not considered masculine and is less desirable as a mate when paired with this idea. Especially to those who want robots. I guess it works, since one is a bag of crazy and the other is more solid than a rock. I've heard it said that opposites attract. It would also work out where the less desirable individuals could pair up with each other. So, everyone wins?

[@KatBlaque]

I love how many people are on this video yelling about feminism and how it's an attempt to destroy men or tell men how to be men. As MEN can you not see a slither of truth in this video? As a MAN can you honestly say that you haven't kept feelings inside of you because of the judgement you'd face as a man in this world and instead of expressing them, manifested them in a way that was harmful to yourself or to other people? All stuff aside, I'm amazed at the amount of dishonesty the men that have commented on this video have. How do you not see the expectation of men in this society to react with violence instead of express their emotions as harmful? When someone talks negatively about you, you're expected to beat them as opposed to talking it out or simply walking away. If you walk away you're a pussy, but if you beat a guy up and get thrown into jail, you're a man. How does that not seem harmful to you? People keep trying to say it's some sort of survival thing where telling little boys to man up is preparing them for the future. I don't disagree that children need to learn how to have thick skin and to be tough but they should also be taught to solve problems without violence and to express their feelings when they have them. And on another right, to me, the MRAs that watch this video and blather on about feminism are the exact type of men that make the MRA movement look petty. THIS is a men's rights issue. THIS is what men should be fighting for. The right to be able to express their feelings and not be held to hyper masculine standards that come with negative aspects (See; mothers receiving preferential treatment in custody cases). Men should be hearing what's been said in this video. Masculinity isn't a problem, being male isn't a problem. Hyper masculine expectations on small children is the problem.

[@sn0wchyld]

'...talking it out or walking away' - words that were never uttered by someone who has walked away from an aggressor. walking away, just like 'ignoring it' - and particularly 'expressing yourself' achieves less than nothing - often making things worse - talking your way out of it can work - sometimes. Perhaps these strategies might be beneficial in a world where we were otherwise all perfectly logical, empathetic beings, but we are nothing more than apes with a high level of practical intelligence, and a comparatively low level of social intelligence. Logic and reason rarely have a large influence on what we FEEL - particularly in the heat of the moment. I myself have rarely seen or experienced an aggressor who was put of by their target simply 'waling away', equally I've rarely seen the target garner any respect or admiration from their peers (male and female) from it. I doubt that these reactions are purely or even primarily a result of social influence. I do however agree with your closing statements - though given some of the highly 'feminized' adds/programs/vids that have come before this I can entirely understand their suspicion as to the true motivation behind this video. I can only hope that it is an honest attempt to, without bias, put an end to/lessen the worship by many men and women of so called 'hyper masculinity'.

[@PowerPerPound]

I can honestly say no I haven't, I don't fully consider myself a man yet but I'm enough of one to not be so self conscious to be bother or swayed by such trivial bullshit. Plus as someone working on a degree in psychology, the whole if you don't express you feeling they'll burst out is complete bullshit and in actuality, expressing negative feeling generally leads to conditioning your body to always want to express those negative feelings in said circumstances but I'm getting off topic. The things you describe were not a problem of masculinity but of bad influences who wouldn't know what it means to be a man if it bit them on the ass. And that is a big problem, in that a lot of people don't remember what it really means to be a man and instead just use the phrase to rationalize their stupidity but that's not what this video is fighting against. What this video is fighting against is masculinity itself. Why are they doing this? Because it's catchy and will get them more publicity even though it's complete bull. If you want to fight for men's right and bring back the true meaning of being a man, this movement is not for you.

[@PowerPerPound]

***** "For my kids, I was going to end the cycle of masculinity here." 2:56 Not alter it, not change peoples perspective on it or to use it in the correct way, end it.

[@KatBlaque]

PowerPerPound He said "For my kids, i was going to end this hyper masculine narrative" You should watch and listen closely. I know it was kinda hard to make out but that's literally what he says. He doesn't say end masculinity. He says end this HYPER masculine narrative. There's a large difference between being masculine and being hyper masculine. Hyper masculinity implies a 'put on' of types. A sort of false sense of masculinity that is extreme and unnecessary.

[@PowerPerPound]

Kat Blaque You're right my bad. I still hold onto my other points and feel like this is solely taking a shot at masculinity itself to go along with the current trend of opposing common ideals simply because they are common. Also I feel like hyper is a poor word since hyper implies that in some form, masculinity demands the need for the violence they are talking about at some level when it clearly doesn't. Misguided would be the correct word that would completely change the meaning.

[@jasonpurcellau]

Oh so being a man and masculinity is a bad thing now??? Bullying and depression have nothing to do with being a man, those are side effects of not feeling like a man or being repressed by modern society to not be manly.

[@jasonpurcellau]

Alexandre Champagne How does dismissing my statement prove me wrong in anyway?

[@XanthusPictures]

You're completely missing the point. This video is saying that our society makes us feel insecure about our masculinity, and so we overcompensate by being aggressive and emotionless.

[@kozemchuk]

Kevin W your main problem is raging misogyny.

[@jasonpurcellau]

Paul Brown People use that word so much it has become so useless to describe anything. It means Hate for women, being a douche bag to women does not mean you hate them, depending on your mood you could just be cranky at the time. Also feminist have used it to try silence any opposition to their ideals, if some one questions them or destroys their argument with logic they call them misogynistic.

[@dr-two]

Jason P "People use that word so much it has become so useless to describe anything" The same logic can be used to dismiss the word manhood! That is why I asked you specifically, how do YOU define masculinity? What does being a man mean to YOU?

[@OriginMSD]

In the end it's all about balance and understanding. This is something humanity has to go through to realize its full potential, at least that's what I believe. Humans are the most adaptable species on the planet. Whatever society we attempt to create, we'll probably either make it work or survive the attempt. So let the experiment continue.

[@RandomIsMyLif3]

this video is a bit of a generalization,but it's not saying masculinity is bad...they are acknowledging the fact that society is enforcing boys to pent up emotion, and it's makes them more aggressive..and it isn't healthy.Men have feelings..we all do.

[@buttole]

it clearly isn't since 90% of pop culture in society is telling boys that they should 'show more emotion'

[@henzythefsxguy]

no Did you know that 69% of statistics are made up on the spot and are complete bullshit, providing no support to an argument whatsoever

[@alschwartz8732]

no are you insane? every show on the planet shows some over sensitive cat lover in a stupid sweater crying about his feeling and wearing sensible shoes. And media shows a tyrannical wife that is always somehow much smarter.

[@buttole]

Al Schwartz i thought this was about boys and not wives? +henzythefsxguy ballpark figures are hard for you huh

[@shlomoshunn3597]

no He's saying females are equally part of the problem. THAT wasn't addressed in the film...directed by manginas.

[@TheRyanLamont]

Powerful, I'd love to watch the full documentary.

[@ge2719]

is the documentary going to mention how a significantly higher percentage of criminals, suicide victims and men with psychological dissorders come from single parent homes?

[@JK-ki9et]

+Graeme Evans I expect they will...but I doubt they'll ask any tough questions about that that could otherwise diverge from blaming men for the crisis in one parent (mostly single mother) households. To be fair, sometimes the fathers are absolutely the ones deserving of blame...but in some cases, the mothers are deserving of the blame. And of course in the system we're currently in (where women have the right to post-conception reproductive rights while men do not), any documentary worth anything would question whether forcing a man to become a parent is in the best interests of the children...but I doubt THIS documentary would bring that up at all. This one has "masculinity is toxic" written all over it...even as feminists, as "He For She" demonstrates so clearly, are only too happy exploit traditional masculinity to advance the interests of feminism!

[@webkilla]

+Graeme Evans and by single parent you mean single mother, right?

[@Radiojane1]

+Graeme Evans All likely stemming primarily from the greater financial hardships of a one-parent vs two-parent household.

[@ge2719]

Radiojane1 citation needed

[@Radiojane1]

+Graeme Evans Single-parent families have the highest debt loads and debt-to-income ratios. www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-008-x/2011001/t/11430/tbl002-eng.htm www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-008-x/2011001/article/11430-eng.htm www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-008-x/2011001/t/11430/tbl003-eng.htm "The childhood profile of those at greatest risk of suicidal behaviour was that of a young person reared in a family environment characterized by socio-economic adversity,..." from journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=26187&fileId=S003329179900135X "Growing up in a single-parent family has disadvantages to the health of the child. Lack of household resources plays a major part in increased risks." from www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736%2803%2912324-0/abstract?cc=y=

[@brettthebad]

As a feminist who loves an abused man, this means the world to me, Thank you for the insight.

[@00inwiththenew00]

Masculinity and Femininity are basically ideas which are defined by your culture. Our bodies produce BOTH estrogen and testosterone, so let's not blame this on hormones. Even if you look to the wild, both lions and lionesses hunt and both are equally vicious. Being born with a vagina or penis does not and should not dictate how you should live your life in society. We are trained to believe pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. In some ways, women have been domesticated over the centuries - to serve under men. Want to guess who came up with these rules? Men did! Money = power, and people with power get to make all the rules. Women aren't weak unless they allow themselves to be. Look at the damage that can be done when you allow OTHERS to tell who you are!

[@MaximilianonMars]

The science is weak with this one.

[@scientificalstories]

Maxon Mars Actually, all of their science is correct in this comment.

[@MaximilianonMars]

Kiki M Either I didn't read it or he edited it making it look less terrible. Men and Women both produce testosterone and oestrogen, but testosterone levels in women are very low, likewise oestrogen is very low in men. The physiological differences between men and women indicate their specialised roles in our early history, and is not a sociological phenomena as feminist 'academics' would have you believe. To suggest for the majority of human history the 'patriachy' was not mutually beneficial for the genders, and the human race, is a myopic view. Anecdotally look at the falling birth rates in all developed countries and the increased dissatisfaction from salary women in their lives. People are not supposed to be in financial slavery to the powers that be, and that's exactly the point: before a household could survive with one wage-earner, but now there's twice as many taxable workers and less economic freedom for us, and the bureaucrats just reap the undeserved rewards. It has been the stated aim of subversive groups like the freemasons to spark the feminist movement, and have 'liberated' women support them fervently to further their agendas, i.e: depopulation and a servile underclass.

[@Emil652]

Kiki M Men and women have different roles in society just like eyes and feet have different roles in the body. If we were meant to be equal we would all have a dick and balls and vagina with ovaries. Sexual dimporhism exists for a reason

[@alexw2689]

Maxon Mars You are absolutely right. I can't get over this PC bull-shit "Men and women both have testosterone and estrogen." While true, the level of the hormones are radically different. Similarly, the secondary sexual characteristics that are attributed to the differing levels of testosterone make men bigger, faster, stronger, and more aggressive (on average). I'm not saying we are determined by our genes, but we are absolutely influenced by them. Inject a woman with 500 mg of testosterone a week and see if her body, and perhaps even her attitude changes. Further, I want to second your point on the mutually beneficial role of traditional society. Women and men both benefited from the traditional roles of women at home and men out of the house. I'm not saying that this is better than current society but I'm tired of people acting like the man was the sole beneficiary and the woman little more than a house servant/sexual device. Keep being a man, man.

[@lHurtYourFeeIings]

Masculinity does not lead to violence. The LACK of masculinity leads to violence. It is important for boys to develop their male role in society. Masculinity is important and a requirement for men. It does NOT lead to violence as the video suggested (which I'll get into). Masculinity is human nature (testosterone), at the same time it can be nurtured, taught. Through sports, volunteering, group socialization, the church, etc. A simple act such as helping elders cross the streets can be an 'expression' of masculinity. To protect and to provide. This is why boys are constantly reminded to "be a man" so they'd stop complaining/avoiding about minor issues and resolve problems, walking away from personal responsibility etc. Boys that were not shown to "be a man" often end up having issues later in life. This is why a strong father figure is important. It doesn't make you "crazy" as the video suggested! And "respect is linked to violence"? What kind of message is this? The LACK of male respect leads to violence. To give and receive respect is part of being masculine. Masculinity does not mean violence, which I have an issue with (again) with this feminist video. Brainwash tactics: 1) I have a message to tell 2) Here are some violent cases, mass shooting, terrorism, etc. 3) Put the two unrelated topics together 4) BAM now you are scared enough to think I have a point The violent acts previewed in this trailer has nothing to do with masculinity. Here is a list of the criminals previewed on the video @ 2:33 - 2:38: James Holmes - mental illness Wade Michael Page - white supremacist Jacob Tyler Roberts - mental illness Aaron Alexis - mental illness Adam Lanza - mental illness These people were reported to have heard voices throughout their life time and had a history of serious mental illnesses prior to the mass shootings. They have nothing to do with male role in society, nor can changes in male social behavior "heal" these mental conditions. Remember, it is the "pussies" that act violently. Real men don't. Masculinity is not a mask, it is a requirement.

[@breathingreflection]

For my part, I'm hoping the authors of this video agree with your definition of masculinity. I think they are referring to what the culture at large prescribes as masculinity (no crying or talking about feelings, etc), not what masculinity actually is. The people who cannot express themselves are the ones who go insane, and I believe that it's possible to be masculine and yet expressive...it's just not all that common in the US.

[@jephbennett]

Way to regurge your own brainwashed tale, "bro". You've eagerly gulped up all those primitive labels ("pussies"? really?) and now you can't even CONCEIVE of any world where your version of "man" isn't the truth. Respect isn't "linked to violence" by this film, idiot. The blind expectation that all out young boys must be "king of their castle" and demand some special treatment by those around them is the kind of macho bullshit "respect" this film is talking about. It's not about accepting responsibility... there's way more RESPONSIBLE single mom's raising kids, while the "man" is in prison or dead from showing his "manliness" at the wrong time, or he's just walking around with his chest puffed out like you, spouting bullshit about being a MAN while ignoring his kids. Masculinity as a physiological trait (facial hair, larger upper body, deeper voice) is a requirement. The rest of the fake ass chest thumping , macho, asshole attitude IS NOT. But it will never die as long as we "men" continue valuing aggression and selfishness over empathy and relationships.

[@jephbennett]

Wow, you really ARE a fucking jackass! My current girlfriend is a 29 year old beautiful Asian nurse. And I met her while I was dating 5 OTHER WOMEN, at the same time, most of whom are all friends now. That's not due to some bullshit masculinity, little boy. That's because I value relationships, and can empathize with my female companions. My 40th birthday was a pajama party with myself and 6 hot women in lingerie, and THAT WAS AWESOME. So maybe when you're done crawling back under that rock, you should listen to your own voice, and decide if attacking others really makes you feel more manly. FUCKTARD. LMAO

[@lindsaylee2367]

"A simple act such as helping elders cross the streets can be an 'expression' of masculinity. To protect and to provide." I feel that these actions are not necessarily exemplary of strictly masculinity, as it's not uncharacteristic for a woman to also inherently want to protect, provide, and be considerate, but they are perhaps exemplary of being human.

[@jephbennett]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was insulting a child. I apologize to your mother. Hope she does the same for raising you.

[@WilliamAmbervein]

In elementary school the worst bullies I had were 3 girls who knew how to make boys hurt mentally and then there was a boy in my grade who was actually bullying and because what my dad told me "what a man is" at the time I thought we were just friends. I honestly hope that this movie will open people's eyes to how boys get screwed up and we just keep it inside where it does more damage.

[@orangerichard56]

believe what you want, but what you believe must apply to both genders

[@TigerPrawn_]

+Leon Tarkshina *both sexes (well actually, there are more than 2 sexes/genders) peace x

[@orangerichard56]

i am aware there is more than 2 but i forgot sorry

[@dy031101]

+Leon Tarkshina Feminism is illiberal to begin with, so universal application of principles is a big no-no.

[@dy031101]

***** I think he meant "same principles (to *help* people), different gender-specific methods", not the Feminist one-size-fits-all, female-first-and-female-only method.

[@Ms10000123]

+Kats987124 There aren't more than 2 sexes for humans. Sexes are biological, which are male and female. You might come up with more genders, but that doesn't hold any real value.

[@MrDrSarcasm]

Some of these comments are making me shake my head. This video's message is that men and boys shouldn't feel pressured to act like emotionless drones just to feel more manly. Men experience the same range of emotions that women do, but men are just expected to hide them and bottle them up. This video isn't tell people boys should be more feminine, it is trying to say that expressing your emotions doesn't make you any less manly.

[@MrFtwNoob]

THANK YOU!

[@MrLeonacha]

It´s one of the first attempts I´ve seen to treat discrimination against men just like discrimination against women is treated. And that is ok, I am all up for equality instead of that ¨lets defend one side and call it equality¨ mentality. But I do understand some of the reaction in the comments, this does come from a feminist organization wich are asotiated with (and sometimes encourage) the: ¨lets defend one side and call it equality¨ mentality . So it feels like orders from an outsider to some people. Another point is that made in the comments is that in this trailer society is shown as repetitive beast that lays upon the children the burden: ¨be a man¨ that was laid upon them, and that is to a degree insulting. And seeing most of the comments saying: ¨be a man¨ or ¨stop pussyfying us¨ come from the fact that the way the expresion ¨be a man¨ is defined makes it out to be only hurtfull and isolating... that is not what that means, ¨be a man¨ doesnt mean isolate yourself and solve shit on your own, without any help or comunication. ¨be a man¨¨ means (at least as i can best describe it in short words): look at yourself, realize what you are and what you do, take responsibility for your actions, and have the balls to ask for help if you know something is beyond you. i.e. ¨be a man¨ doesnt mean : defeat depression or you fail as a man it means : take depression head on and be mature enough to ask for help if it is beating you. that would just be my opinion about this matter

[@rastamon5403]

Amazing comment, Refreshing to see smart people commenting

[@MrLeonacha]

Thanks, just saying my opinion.

[@MrLeonacha]

Thanks !

[@richardhenry7739]

I can relate to this very well... When I lost my family do to my addiction and loss of business, it was like I lost my "Manhood" I dwelled into substance abuse for many years...

[@ListenToPumpkinMusic]

"Be cool, and be kind of a dick."

[@Yotrymp]

Seems like the problem with the phrase "be a man" is it's ambiguity. It can mean anything associated (falsely or truly) with masculinity.

[@GreenNastyRabbit]

Not only the USA have this problem, I suffer of this shit everyday, and since I was a little boy :'( it ruins my life. But I know it isn't my fault, but society's I've lived in.

[@averyvonniessen6280]

Welcome to real life. Everyone deals with their own shit, and you just have to do what you can to get over it and move on. Make something of yourself, rather than blaming society.

[@KingTriton1837]

It is not your fault. You just be you and live your life. From the moment you are old born to the day you die, there will always be someone suggesting or telling you how to live. Fuck those people. Do you and be happy in doing for you.

[@jselectronics8215]

I'm 72. We didn't have these problems when I was a kid. I grew up in Port Angeles, Renton and Bremerton. Hi Mom! Miss you, Dad. My screen's getting blurry now. :)

[@DanaMarie54]

This is what feminism is. Equality for everyone to express themselves as a whole person rather than a sum of gender expectations, and be respected and valued in return.

[@VulpinetideCuteTimes0w0]

ryan Israel that's a real insult to successful kids with no father in their lives.

[@pplschmp1]

I find this topic fascinating. There are so many different meanings to "be a man" and focusing on the negative aspects really is intriguing. I think everyone is missing the point to some extent. We do need men to be men and women to be women. To say "be a man" and then back that up with negative actions is really the issue (showing a boy how to be a man) is really far more important, in my opinion. The fact that some think that saying "be a man" is automatically a negative thing, tells me their actions imply negative behaviors. Why can't "be a man" mean something positive-I believe it sometimes does. We get so tangled up in semantics, it's not the words, it's the actions coupled with them

[@Gestureye7x]

This is a great video! I've heard 'Man UP' so often! I'm glad, I never heard this from my Father, but my friends and so many others growing UP thought it was crazy to have an emotional side. I am curious to know how this will unravel! I love this!

[@ZJohhnyGaming]

the meaning of mankind is survival of the fittest now being gay or weak doesn't get you anywhere do you think a judges,bosses,professors, or anyone else that matters in your success care about your feelings?

[@aynroberts]

ZJohhnyGaming Empathy is an important component to strong leadership and successfully scaling a business. Without dedicated employees who take pride in their relationships with coworkers and their leadership, they feel dissatisfied and move on at any open opportunity. When leadership has a firm understanding in defining and using emotional intelligence, they increase productivity and efficiency in their team. Or you know, you could pretend that those facts don't exist and go back to your pencil-pushing drone work.

[@keenanspencer6156]

This documentary is fantastic! As a woman, I never really considered this perspective. I never realized the struggles men face on a daily basis. Mass media, marketing, and society puts so much pressure on men. I'm very glad I saw this film and am much more understanding of what men go through. The statistics in this film are shocking. This film sheds light on how as a society we shame men into being what we think is easier to compartmentalize instead of giving them the freedom they so much deserve.

[@RinLockhart]

I don't want to be scared of walking out of my house at night. So I support this.

[@Magikalic]

As a feminist it's really interesting to see something which focuses solely on the how patriarchal ideals and gender norms are harmful to the male population. Will certainly be watching this when it comes out.

[@BioHunter1990]

Cultural Marxist drivel.

[@tgime1]

Matthew Abban I don't think you understand what marxism is.

[@MtnCommando]

so, "...gender norms are harmful to the ... population." unless you're a feminist, of course. then it's your way or the highway, and everyone who disagrees is a misogynist

[@Magikalic]

What? I said it's interesting to see how gender norms harm males and as a feminist it's interesting to see how this film will address those issues. I'm not sure where you got "everyone who digresses with me is a misogynist" from.

[@no2nate]

Turn all men into pussified androgynous, non-gendered creatures, yeah, that will fix society.

[@itszyggi]

This is brilliant and I'm grateful for it. Hyper polarized gender roles are a great disservice forced on children. The idea that any emotion or behavior remotely identified as feminine is to be eradicated in male behavior is psychotic and dangerous and is ever more expressed in the psychosis present in society overall. To be a whole person, there will be female aspects in the male and male aspects in the female. Men need to speak out against the manipulations set out to narrow their particular human experience. Just as women have had to with sexism and misogyny. It's time to evolve.

[@africanfathers]

Brilliant and necessary - I love this and I will share it widely, can't wait for the full production!

[@veneradibellabarles7499]

Unbelievable Documentary!!!!! This needs to be shown to parents raising boys. What a gem.

[@excellenbrowning3719]

+Venera Di Bella Barles I disagree , it seems to be very politically biased.

[@veneradibellabarles7499]

+Excellen Browning Thank you for your reply - but I would like to hear what part was biased, in your opinion. Do you disagree that men's roles need a hard look in how they handle many situations with anger? I mean this video covered many issues that are glaringly in need of fixing - and that goes, believe me, for women also.

[@deeplykem]

I find it ironic that a lot of men complaining that this is an attack on masculinity are blaming women. I am a woman, but I have always felt that a man is someone who takes personal responsibility for his actions, cares for his family, is confident in himself and his abilities, and is mentally strong. You can't be mentally strong if you are suppressing your feelings and emotions, and you can't take personal responsibility if you are blaming women or anybody else for your downfalls. How can a man care for his family, when he doesn't feel like a man when he shows them that he cares. How can you be confident in yourself, if people are always putting down who you are, because you don't fit neatly into societies box of how a man is suppose to act. This documentary doesn't seem to be pushing men to wear high heels and lip gloss. It seems to be discussing better ways to attain emotional and mental health by not internalizing your feelings. I saw a few comments stating women don't want a weak man, but women don't want an angry man, a volatile man, or a man who feels intimacy is only about whats going in in the bedroom. I think it takes a very strong man, to not be afraid to show his emotions. No one likes a cry baby... but women don't tend to like emotionally stunted men either. We all have to have a balance in life no matter who we are, but the expectations we put on men have tipped the scales to an unhealthy level.

[@Frostburn777]

You can't be mentally strong by ruminating on your feelings and emotions neither. I shrug them off. If you care about what others are thinking, you aren't masculine. Masculinity is simply having a thick skin shrug off emotional problems that so many people, particularly women, face. By caring about what others think and feel, you open yourself up to being hurt by negative thoughts and feelings. I find it ironic that women act masculine by simply opposing it.

[@FolkFirearmsCollective]

Who is that guy that said, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."? He said: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

[@BeLexi24]

Going to see a showing in my city next week so excited, bringing all of the friends I can find.

[@DallySkyeAnims]

2:53 ...I'll be honest, I absolutely giggled when he said that so angrily. xD

[@ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack]

The hyper masculine narrative isn't necessarily the problem, because "masculinity" does not necessarily need to equate to violence or hatred, and is equally indicative of brotherhood and innovation. The problem is what we've been masquerading as "gender equality": the acceptance of male disposability or male dehumanization in comparison to the female worship that comes from our feminist-driven society, and what I honestly hope will lead to radical, intellectual reform of all educational systems. The majority of the world's homeless, dead soldiers, and people who've died in the workplace were all boys at one point, but society is mainly filled with chivalrous males and female materialists who choose to look over the bodies.

[@StJoseph777]

Yeah. I actually agree that the "hyper masculine" narrative is problematic. Although I agree there is such a thing as hypermasculine dysfunctional behavior, and this video itself is pretty unobjectionable, I see a lot of feminist talking points on the film's web site that seem to point to the false narrative of "women's oppression" and not what boys get put through when they're fed that toxic garbage. I guess we'll have to see how the film itself turns out but I'm a bit cynical knowing the ideological lens this is possibly being forced through.

[@ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack]

Dean Esmay Excessive masculinity is embedded into popular culture. Realizing what's negative and what's positive out of that is more important than demonizing it. So as long as that distinction is made, I'm fine with saying it can be negative. I had been working on a short article awhile back that women and feminists worship or admire male disposability as much as men, which is both supported and in conflict with hypergamy: "I'm disposable, and thus more powerful, but I'm not as disposable as men, and thus more valuable." Female admiration of male disposability explains the decay of romantic traditionalism better than hypergamy alone, and also the anti-male tone of educational systems. Some if not many of these female teachers have to believe male disposability is pure priviledge to act the way they do, for instance if I remember correctly, with boys being drugged more for school being boring.

[@StJoseph777]

Class Punk Would like to read that.

[@ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack]

Women Worship Disposability chaoticia.blogspot.com/2014/01/women-worship-disposability.html Edit: Oh and realizing there will probably be a bunch of feminist bullshit behind this I took the trailer out of my favorites. Lol.

[@marshacreary2442]

I love that these issues are being addressed

[@alexhalliday6834]

Great documentary! Highly recommend everyone, especially boys and men, watch this.

[@elinetesantos1553]

Um dos melhores documentários que já vi em minha vida! Parabéns aos produtores!!!