Be A Man: Joe Ehrmann at TEDxBaltimore 2013

[@Evelyn-pl3we]

"On the death bed all you recognize is that life is about relationships"..Whether you agree with this TEDx talk or not, that statement is powerful.

[@johnfalcon4449]

What does it mean if you recognized this as a young 23-year-old?

[@barbarasmith7432]

@@johnfalcon4449 It means you are far better off than most.

[@stephank.murphy4874]

At the very end for us men, IT IS about relationship and what we stood up for in our life: "Commitment to a cause.. from your heart". This message is so true. Everybody talks about manhood but few can really grasp and explain the reality. Great Talk!

[@Soucycler]

All I can say is...it's about time. Thank you Joe.

[@scottyh8494]

Rick Gunn I totally agree Rick.

[@CalebMcFarland]

Rick Gunn I don't know guys, maybe we should all kill each other and be manly. Sounds pretty good eh? Endless violence and constantly proving our superiority? Uselessly wasting our lives proving our worthiness to people we don't know? Sounds pretty awesome.

[@cristovaoantunes8116]

Caleb McFarland i think you missed it

[@77tubuck]

All I can say is...Joe Ehrmann is insane!

[@onemillionpercent]

@@77tubuck if you mean insanely intelligent and perceptive, and definitely on the right track, you'd be right

[@mariateresa9250]

This is a powerful lecture. I sat with my father who was dying from pancreatic cancer - it was in the 1970s and I was 15. My dad was a highly decorated WWII and Korean veteran. He was a great soldier - not such a good father or husband. My father was the epitome of what a man was supposed to be for his generation. As he was dying I experienced one of the most profound and life-changing moments of my life Mr. Ehrmman sums it up perfectly. He confessed his shortcomings to come to a place of peace before his died because when people are dying, the only things that matter are love and relationships.

[@philiphenderson5454]

This message should be heard by nearly every man I know.

[@CatMayer]

Great talk Joe Ehrmann, thank you. As a mom of two boys, and a girl, this hits home.

[@jeffdeutsch]

I work in jail with hard men and gang members. The majority of my clients have grown up in broken homes with abuse and drug addiction. I believe that the nurturing, protective part of "manly men" is innate; that is, it's there to some degree or another in just about all males. Putting this "macho" trait aside for a moment, I believe that it is critical to the healthy psychological growth of young men to be able to articulate (verbalize) their feeling and to have these feelings validated by other men. The speaker is spot on. Our culture encourages men to suppress all emotions other than joy and anger, as they are considered weak and unacceptable. Mr. Ehrmann forgot another thing that makes for the development of an interesting, intelligent, and well-adjusted man (or even woman): The ability to listen to a brave, heartfelt speaker and, instead of making simplistic, moronic statements about not having any "balls", actually having an open mind and considering the possibility that he might have a point.

[@thefinalshowdown20]

This is so true

[@gsnad]

Manhood cannot simply be defined with one or two characteristics. Real men do cry. Real men don't cry. Real men know when they need their friends. Real men know when to stand alone. Real men know when to show their emotions. Real men know when it's not time for that. Real men share the burden. Real men know when they have to bear that burden alone. Manhood is like a diamond. There are numerous angles, facets, characteristics, sizes, and depths to manhood. Great talk!

[@TheNikkuu]

I know what it takes to be a man. First you need to be as swift as a coursing river. Next you need a force of a great typhoon with the strength of a raging fire. Be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. And lastly, you need to defeat the Huns.

[@robertfreid2879]

TheNikkuu Lol, the "I'll Make a Man Out of You" song... It's a good message for men I belive...

[@epicentertainment4750]

Underrated

[@briansuh4126]

only correct answer

[@jennilee5514]

Why must we be defeated?

[@BaileyIng]

Lol

[@carmenwilkerson7276]

As a female, it's very insightful to hear a man understand the socialization of men, as Joe does. I will share this with men I know and love.

[@tag7299]

I bet you're absolutely into submissive men who constantly barrage you with their problems, who ask you to fix the stuff in the house because they can't and who earn less than you.

[@yamnehroncero4238]

Beautiful. This man totally knows what it means to be a man. It's all about love and to be of service to the world !

[@tag7299]

But in the wrong order.

[@WardenAzdron]

Being of service without getting anything in return is slavery.

[@kennedyambundo1108]

Separating the head from the heart is the greatest tragedy. Very powerful.

[@thusspoke08]

Never be ashamed of your masculinity. Never be ashamed to be a man. Most importantly, never let anyone define masculinity for you, that is up to you alone.

[@acreymundo]

I really appreciate Ehrmann''s core definition of masculinity. As I understand it, it's not about "emoting" but about integrating all aspects of self and bringing the fullness of oneself into our relationships.

[@mralbua53]

Thank you so much for this. I was just talking with a girl that was telling me how i am not a man, because i am too sensitive and i cry too much. It's sad that the society we live in is this way.

[@tag7299]

So you stumbled over the core cause of the standard men try to live up to but you were too blind to realise it?

[@4jimmycurtis]

Thank you for this talk. It was amazing! I was always bullied for not being athletic, liked hunting, knew how to use tools, etc. I'm still bullied for being a student nurse but I know most men would not be able to stomach sitting next to a dying person when they had no family at their side. I know my abilities are specifically tough, but I know I can do most things men wouldn't be able to admit to.

[@josephlosi6974]

Joe Ehrmann's message can change our country and our world for the better. Without doubt!

[@psnxblmabans]

The only time I tell my boy to stop crying,is when trying to explain a point of why he is being punished or trying to explain why he feeling the pain he is feeling. Not so he hides it but he can see it relatively clearly what a situation is. It's to help him find that balance between emotion and logic. I'm proud to say I've never stunted his emotional expression on the basis of "him acting like a girl" and he should man up.

[@blthetube1]

Now if mothers would teach their daughters the same thing about when it is appropriate to cry, we might get somewhere.

[@awesome1Rj]

***** i know where youre coming from but thats not the way to think.. its just so close minded and i hate it so muchhhhhh. both parents responsibility notjust the mother's.. and teaching a child how to appropriately control their emotion doesnt just go to the daughters!!! youre so close minded with things

[@blthetube1]

Rjay Digal Your right. It is up to both parents. But being that this is a feminist slanted series and women hands down are the one's who use tears as a tool for manipulation, I couldn't help but be gender specific in making this statement. As for tears and emotion, I watch my mother turn to ice if on the rare time my father gets emotional and I have only cried once in front of a girlfriend and the reaction was the same. Just more hypocrisy of the feminist agenda.

[@infinitesimotel]

***** I can safely say, that ALL the damage done to M/F relations, ever, has been though intentional external intereference. What else would be a problem otherwise?

[@Nicole-emma]

Ma bans He needs to stop crying so you can explain yourself? Or so you can tell him how he’s feeling? Wow. Poor kid. Imagine a world where you aren’t there to instruct him every step of the way....

[@tattooism]

This is one of the most brilliant talks I've ever seen; very powerful and thought provoking !

[@buddy3387]

You reached me. I have masked my emotions since childhood. I take pride that I haven't cried in years. My father used to make fun of my brother for crying when he was 16. I have been thinking about emotions for a while now. I have a hard time making friendships, I am kind of anti social. I believe I need change myself; show more emotions.

[@davidharler9149]

I've never seen something describe the past 20 years of my life so perfectly.

[@determinedtoimprove8077]

I absolutely agree with this man, 100%!

[@77tubuck]

Is this video some kind of joke video. I am a man and I have never been told to be a man. What he is saying is so far from how I was raised it is funny.

[@Diodidnothingwrong]

77tubuck I know this comment is 11 months but because you were taught in a certain matter, doesn’t mean other people weren’t taught that way but I see why you say that as Joe did imply every instead of a portion of men

[@nailbender70]

I think this is particularly timely after the shooting at UCSB. If men think that being a man is about physical dominance and bottling emotions some frightening things can happen. I'm thankful to have learned finally at 44, being a man and a good person is about the relationships you have and being open to what you are feeling. When you are on your deathbed will you wish you had worked more and had more money or wished you had spent more time with the people you care about laughing, living and having fun? No one even has to think about it to answer that question. Everyday is an opportunity to let the people you love know that you care, an opportunity to listen and not talk, to empathize and not judge. Good Tedtalk thanks, Joe.

[@pastorgolden]

Joe, our paths haven't crossed for awhile, so I was so very glad to come across this video. I enjoyed you presentation immensely. As always, Thanks for the lesson of what it truly means to "BE A MAN". God bless.

[@nickdavidelijah]

AWESOME. Absolutely spot on. Will be sharing this with a whole bunch of my mates.

[@matheusguifer]

One of the best things of TED Talks is that most - if not all - videos have subtitles, including English. This makes the video accessible for people who don't speak English and also for the deaf and hard of hearing, like myself. I know this is an independently organized TED event, but I would be great if it had English captions too. And that's for most of the TEDx Talks, actually. I don't think many of them have subtitles, and that's a pity.

[@1995yuda]

+Matheus Guimaraes They have a website where every video has subtitles. Look that up!

[@matheusguifer]

+1995yuda I believe you're thinking TED. This is TEDx. On the website the embedded video is this one from KZbin and doesn't have closed captions. TED uses Amara to crowdsource its video, I don't know why TEDx doesn't. Oh well..

[@1995yuda]

***** Yeah,you're right. Someone should send them a letter or something. I do believe they'd want their videos to reach more people.

[@kriegerdeslichtsx]

Goosbumps all throughout the video. Respect to this man. 7:06-7:40

[@rhidianeldridge7720]

thank you Joe. your message just changed my life. i have always struggled to see men the way society paints us to be. i have feelings but no way to show them so thank you for outlining how destructive that is to my family.

[@delvelove]

Amen brother. The ridiculous comments on this video show exactly how right this man is. I'm amazed by just how many people missed his point. He's not telling men to cry all the time about everything. He's saying young boys shouldn't be told not to cry because it leads to them turning into men like so many of the ones commenting. Complete idiots who feel threatened by feminism and think money and sex are the ultimate point of life. It's pathetic.

[@xplodngKeys]

He's not even saying that. What he's saying is that to be a man you value relationships and have a cause or life purpose you can work towards. He's mentioning emotions because you need those for healthy relationships and if you take the context of his inner city work and his life background its directly relatable to inner city kids. He's giving a message that's tailored towards those boys who shoot bullets or know someone close who do, and they usually don't come from WASPy neighbourhoods

[@thusspoke08]

delvelove because its a false argument. Men have always cried. Men have always been emotional. On the whole they probably don't cry as much as women....so what? A little stoicism never hurt anybody, man or woman

[@CalebMcFarland]

Sound of Sleep none of that is true. I have never seen a man cry. I see women cry all the time. I have cried maybe twice in my not a child life. You are not allowed to cry, you are not allowed to fail, you have to do what others tell you have to do in order to be masculine or else you will be viciously ridiculed.

[@loredelamore]

Feminism is cancer. It is pushing us men away from ever wanting to be in a relationship with women.

[@DwynTwo]

"Who feel thretened by feminism" Just because people don't agree with feminism, they aren't idiots. Feminists themselves are responsible for that, not men. And I'm a woman saying this.

[@drmarctagon]

I loved every minute of this. I've struggled with this idea of what a man should be and feeling like I don't measure up because I'm not macho, I cry, I feel, I'm not into cars, I'm not great at sports, etc etc. Thank you Joe for bucking the trends.

[@davidjorg2414]

I am so amazed by how many men on this thread are not intellectually adept enough to actually follow this man's line of reasoning. Great talk Joe.

[@frecklefingers]

I can easily follow his line of reasoning. I just don't agree with all of it. Does that make me less intellectual than you?

[@designcalligraphy7395]

not all male is a piece of brainwashed sheep!

[@JimBillyRayBob]

I'm amused you think this has anything to do with reason.

[@barbiechai2386]

@@frecklefingers yes it surely does. This talk makes total sense to healthy humans

[@LuciferXFallen290]

@@barbiechai2386 not really

[@DomFortress]

I believe that to "Be A Man" means to rally and commit ourselves alongside the values and goodness which can benefit everyone, this is true even to consider our superfluous differences of "us vs them" tribalism.

[@ValkryNL]

8:01 Boys that can't cry, shoot bullets. That is a powerfull phrase..

[@thusspoke08]

Wodane An because emotional people never commit murder....

[@Caminante50]

@@thusspoke08 You are missing the point. We are all emotional people! What he is saying is that boys who are not allowed to express their emotions and feel the need to repress their feelings in order to conform with the toxic masculinity mandate often turn to violence.

[@sammitchell3636]

Couldn’t this also mean that military forces are men.

[@randomme2032]

@@sammitchell3636 OMG yeeees!

[@FrankValchiria]

best talk i have found, truly educative.

[@sirdinklesworth6880]

Great video, great speech, great message, and great man! I came here after reading "The Season of Life" and man, this speech just summarizes his message in that book too. Although, it is genuinely sad how many of the guys in the comments here feel personally offended and how Joe's message is completely ignored or misinterpreted.

[@stevensong8784]

5:22 - 5:59 Good to point out. Explaining the causes behind people's behavior + your view = forceful statement. B/c others could be convinced of their misdirections, seek a new route. Thank you Joe Ehrmann! Reading your book now btw.

[@channel2god]

Wonderful, thank you Joe, this is so important for men and boys and all of humanity! Great talk!

[@iwillbtrue]

Simply AWSOME!! One of the best Talks Ive heard. Anyone who would respond with any negativity is simply "ignorant".

[@nikhilsharma3563]

Best ted talk by far in my opinion

[@McTimmyFly]

I totally get that feeling sometimes when I try to describe a deep emotion to somebody. I can't come up with the words. I sit there for minutes at a time trying to say something but can't do it. Funny thing is, I can describe them for other people. But if it's me, I can't do it.

[@daver62911]

this helped me yesterday to further my understanding me thank you all those involved

[@johnfrankimpeduglia4742]

This is a great summary and very easy to relate to many experiences in my own life. Now, watching our kids grow up seeing many opportunities for making the world a better place.

[@ebyday2873]

This made me cry....because it is so true and that finally someone in the right place who gets it, has the voice to bring this message to the world.

[@tag7299]

I bet he didn't do that by crying.

[@cicia.1914]

It’s 2023 and I found this video from a book called “the mask of masculinity”by Lewis howes and this speech is very inspiring. Being able to understand how man suffer in silence and how they don’t deal with emotions I hope later in life this changes ❤

[@PatrickWalker09]

Wow, powerful talk!

[@The_Invisible_Hand]

Alexithymia "comes from the fact that when we were 5-6 years old, we were told to stop with the emotions, stop with the feelings, never given permission to emote, to develop a vocabulary, to even name our feelings." --> Citation needed.

[@tifanyjones2336]

Thank you so much for this message. . I am a young mom with 2 boys and 2 girls and before I had my son 16 years ago the last boy born in our family was 25 years previous. . so i never was around boys to much.. i was the tom boy of the family.. I have tried being married 4 times with the first time being 15 years old and they never work no matter how hard I try. . Mom has been married 7 times and mostly abusive, from emotional physical and even sexual to us girls and her.. it's amazing what i learned/understand and felt by this passage.... Thank you

[@JUDY1121992]

Beautiful! Absolutely inspiring!! Respect!

[@conniestyles3435]

Thank you for this, Very clearly explained and something that has been imprinted in me after watching your video.. I don't have any kids as of now, but I'll sure Remeber this when raising my boys. It's a great message for a lot of people.. Thank you

[@melodydargon9100]

Witnessed Joe speak in the early 2000’s - his message is one I wish every boy and man could hear. The messages being shared with the public by media and how that has shaped all of our minds subtly to influence what we believe that it means to “be a man”. How those messages take away from men and boys in terms of connection and experience. Wish I could have recorded his impactful speech then to have shared with all of my family and friends up until now - might that have been annoying of me to play it for all that would allow it -probably- would it have potentially changed mindsets and influenced lives of those that I loved enough to share that with - absolutely. Check out his book, buy it for all of your sons, fathers, boyfriends, women in your lives and sneak it into your local libraries;)

[@itsdavidmora]

This was powerful for me to hear. Even though I know these ideas in theory, it’s healing to hear another man affirm them with conviction.

[@DeBoraMRicks]

OMG! This was mind blowing! Thank you for this talk, this so helps me better understand boys and men.

[@77tubuck]

If you want someone that shows emotion then you want a women. Real men don't show emotion. They have it all together and are emotionally strong.

[@SideEffects297]

@@77tubuck please tell me you are joking

[@77tubuck]

@@SideEffects297 I am NOT joking. I repeat I am NOT joking.

[@SideEffects297]

@@77tubuck but why do you say that? are you a guy btw?

[@damone70]

Real men aren't afraid to show vulnerability and emotions. You must be referring to toxic masculinity, fear and repression dictates their actions.

[@jowolf2187]

He may not speak as eloquently as some on Tedx Talks, but his message is clear and passionate. I agree wholeheartedly with him and I'm glad that someone was willing to stand up there and say something. If you liked this video too, check out "Reviving the lost art of Manliness" by Brett McKay it's what lead me here.

[@jorgestramusic]

Wow Joe Ehrmann!... The former All-Pro Defensive Tackle for the Baltimore Colts!... Powerful message coming from a guy like him.

[@MitchZro]

Love this dude's voice. he could crush people with it.

[@jorgestramusic]

And most likely crush you with his hands too, it seems people doesn't know the mighty Joe Ehrmann was an All-Pro Defensive Tackle for the Baltimore Colts in the 70's, what a guy!... Beautiful message.

[@darkestwomb]

Totally Epic, Compulsory Viewing, Thank You So Much

[@edwinparrott1130]

I’ve loved this talk since my high school lacrosse coach showed the whole team. I feel bad for the people who didn’t take it seriously as I see them chasing unachievable fulfillment. The same guys who hurt the weak, use women, manipulate, and think money is happiness. I hope they come to their senses one day and face the pain they inflicted on others in this life. I’m a sensitive young man and used to hate that about myself. Now it is my greatest strength.

[@n.h.3769]

Thank you for being the first Ted talk ive seen to equate happiness and perpose with having children.

[@FloorManiac]

This guy's speech kinda made me well up. Hits close to home.

[@vsf_dave811]

I really don’t know why there are so many detractors in the comments latching on to this idea of “men crying or not”. That’s just a minute point of this talk, the real message here is that the social standards that men are expected to live up to in many cases cause a mental disconnect that can stunt relationships in a man’a life. That’s not to say that a man shouldn’t pick himself up by the bootstraps and deal with problems in his life instead of complaining about them; he absolutely should. But at the same time a man must understand and accept himself and what he feels in order to empathize with and form meaningful relationships with those around him. At least that’s what I take away from this talk.

[@melodysafo5437]

I watched this video for my sociology assignment in school today, and I have to say that it was so well spoken. This video should be played in every high school across America.

[@tarunsinghyadav]

There is no bigger satisfaction than strong relationships. protecting and loving your loved ones. All comes down to family and friends.

[@tag7299]

If that was the nature of men, we'd still live in tribalistic societies.

[@HBMitchell58]

Great redefinition of what it really means to "Be a man!"

[@andreamusesallday]

This is brilliant. I wish it had more hits.

[@mainsoulv7595]

This is very powerful and very inspirational

[@WrestlingWithCharacter]

drop the mic! Ehrmann for President 2020

[@projectixj9868]

Excellent. Where was this guy when I was 15?

[@milespq5561]

Projectix J I’m actually 15 watching this rn. I consider myself lucky😂 this saved me a life deprived of fulfillment.

[@kingspeech2240]

Miles PQ good on you kid I wish I would have heard this when I was 15 I’m 24 now had to learn a lot the hard way

[@edwardbarraza4848]

Better question is where was the fathers

[@theopiner402]

I was told to "be a man" when I was indulging myself in tears, grief, negative thinking, laziness, selfishness, etc. I was not told to "be a man" just because I showed emotion. Don't speak for me Joe, because you are incorrect in my case.

[@nicklarson657]

This is one if my all time favorite ted talks and the documentary "the mask you live in" is life changing!

[@tag7299]

Life changing, maybe. To the better, I doubt.

[@ericshultz96]

Very clear and well spoken message.

[@esp5617]

Thank you SO much for sharing this video!

[@darlagregg7321]

I am so thankful for this message! Absolute truth!!!

[@ydela1961]

13:30 Another one that I like "When you see a boy struggeling with the tears, the emotions... say: wait to be a man". Yes indeed. But to be honest, there is more. When facing adversity or contradiction, a male response is action. Psychology shows that the way boys and men react to adversity is action, "do something". While women solution will be to talk about it, men need to act upon it. When men/boys do NOT know how to act, they turn to violence. Violence looks like an action, but it is not the proper one. It has been characterized as the action from ignorance or impotence. "I am frustrated, I need to act, I don't know what to do, let's hit something". As a (male) adult, you have to teach your boy what is the proper action to whatever is bothering him. "Be a man" is also told as "Crying won't solve your problem, action will do" and indeed young male adults who have never been told how to act, think "Be violent" is the solution. So crying for a boy is ok, but remember he is male, one day he will feel the need to act and you'd better teach him the proper way to act before the only solution he can come up with is violence.

[@Loopyman105]

So glad to have gone to this show.. Ehrmann really surprised me with the intelligence and stage presence that he was able to hold. Loved the crazy black lady, too.

[@Swilton100]

Excellent Wisdom. Thank You Joe. Definitely sharing this one. : ))

[@vulpexvindemiator]

The most wisest man in the whole of the world.

[@mikeinkc]

Thanks, he makes being a man a joyous thing!

[@acroyogawithdao7416]

self understanding is necessary for understanding others. boys who can't cry shoot bullets. relationships and a commitment to a cause. that's what it means to be a man. gold.

[@benjaminlane3004]

Boys who cry all the time have failed in the evolutionary process that made men what they are today. They are weak, Boys who cry lose wars, boys who cry never learn to stand up for themselves or others. Of a 5 year old cries is a big deal? No. If a grown man is crying at the same rate as women cry he isn't a man. hazings are a form of initiation, do they need to be getting blackout drunk and demeaning? No. but I am willing to guess you have never been intitated properly. Testing the bounds of your loyalty, self discipline strength and honour. Gold isn't a measure of manliness, neither is compulsive infidelity. But if the fight was on, who do you want in your corner?

[@BrainzKhalifa]

Maybe we don't really want more fights, in time of peace who do you want in your side? A bully?

[@wulver810]

Instead of crying, you curse, hit things and complain like a punk.

[@drellz9361]

AcroYoga with Dao boys that dont cry shoot bullets i love that

[@drellz9361]

Its crazy how the same people that they call men weak and nerdy run the world now dudes when they were young who were bullied are bosses and the ones who were bullies work for are the weak ones

[@lisapunter3398]

Loved it...right on time. I was going to give up on men, now I understand them more and their deficiencies.

[@lfr30043]

Great talk. I agree with what Joe says.

[@acreymundo]

Emotions drive human beings. We don't override them. Emotions are not inferior to reason. They are more powerful. We either acknowledge and identify or they rule our behavior unconsciously. I think it's a false paradigm to have to choose between emotion and reason. I think that is what I came away with from Ehrmann's TED Talk. The issue is complex and the time is brief. Overall, he was effective in getting a conversation started.

[@schwietzpelican]

It is interesting comparing what Joe Ehrmann is saying to the thread. #1 response when one man asks another about going deeper, "I'm not gay." Sad really. There exists a culture in America that is alarming. Truth is Joe is NOT saying "be more like women" - Yet when feelings/emotions are discussed, all too often this becomes the mindset. He could have said, "Be a WHOLE man." Feelings are not feminine or masculine. They are human. The tendency to genderize characteristics is a knee jerk reaction. Step back and take a pulse. Check yourself and your surroundings. There are lots of lonely men out there on the planet. There are lots of "old warrior" types pulling out their rusty swords for any perceived challenge. Truth is it takes courage to speak your truth, to live an authentic life, to be REAL. Stuffing anything never served anyone. Men deserve to have safe outlets to speak their truth, talk through their feelings, share their journey. Not every man has earned the right to hear another man's story. Integrity. Authenticity. Accountability. I encourage every man to paint his faith. Defend what is his. Love fiercely, authentically, and humbly. Let your significant other, your family and friends, and your children see you. Break the vicious cycle of abuse. Become a "new warrior" - and support the emotionally mature, mature, awake, accountable, and compassionate male leaders that our communities desperately need.

[@sprinvntrdd]

Outstanding! Most of my heroes are women, but if more guys like him show up for duty, and by that I mean to "build the great Peace", then I'm going to be fortunate to have a few more male heroes. Guys like Bradley Manning, or Chris Hedges, men that would rather die than lie, or live a lie. I believe a real man is a human being that artfully celebrates all humanity in service to the Cause of Unity, with the emotive power of the Love force. This man obviously does. Blessings & Peace be upon them.

[@MrMidnightSpecialist]

I really like this talk. It might not seem a fluid like water other TED Talks, but it has great substance like pudding.

[@Ocker3]

+Darrell Robinson True, his style is gruff, it's the message that really cuts through.

[@ForesightInvestment]

thank you for your bravery sir

[@sethjamison1]

I am so glad. This should be shared by all

[@tag7299]

That is what Christians say about Creationism as well.

[@daver629111]

I realized in watching this my first art was the expression of the words I can not or could not find all my life. still today I found the complexity of the pictures has improved but some of the things i see are not as simple as what i thought i saw in the present

[@briancarter254]

I was alone for so many years of my life struggling with masculinity, Thank you Joe!!! I thought I was in this struggle by myself all these years!!

[@macinnes]

gotta love the insecure men in the comments who somehow think this video challenged their masculinity.

[@deealfaro-baeza8314]

Amen!

[@ishthefish9006]

I never got masculinity. Men are strong they have high upper body mass and bone strength . To me masculinity is what youre born with . Men look different to women and vice versa thats it

[@OwenMarcus]

A Remarkable Man Is Emotionally Smart. We are redefining what it is to be a smart man. Until now men were only smart intellectually. The thought that a man could be emotionally smart would elicit laughter. Masculine Emotional Intelligence™ is a latent trait, not an impossibility. When a man is shown how to feel, and then express his emotions in a manner natural for him, he begins to get smart. His communication skill significantly improves. His frustration with not being heard dissolves away as he articulates his feelings.

[@Ocker3]

+Owen Marcus Very true, what Joe is advocating is men with broader skill sets, not that we stop valuing strength, but that we also value self-awareness alongside the more 'traditional' values.

[@Medved290]

This is a far better definition than the definition that floats around at the minute which boils down to 'don't be a woman'

[@whitegoth98]

I like his authenticity and I can tell he really believes in his message, but he didn't mention attraction which is the basis of forming relationships. If you aren't perceived as a man of value then no one will really want to connect with you, just for being yourself. I think having a self worth that isn't effected by the perception of others is what being a man is all about. Even if you die alone but stay true to yourself and your personal goals, you're a man.

[@Li9uidMang0]

The point, which wasn't even the main point of the talk, regarding gendered violence was that men committing violence against women is a symptom of the disease of men being out of touch with their emotions, lacking empathy, and unable to truly connect with or help each other. An emotionally healthy man has no reason to abuse ANYONE. The speaker also makes the point that these problems cause men to abuse each other (hazing, bullying, etc.) and themselves (substance abuse, self-criticism).

[@TropicMews]

Really excellent stuff! I feel like the world should talk about mens issues more, there's a real lack of it when you're a feminist and you want to listen to stories from everyone. This explains a male relative of mine to a T (substance abuse, skirt-chasing/lack of commitment/boasting numbers, never happy with his wage even though he earns 150k+ a year). It must be truly horrible to never feel fulfilled, and to be always worrying about what others think about you. Men and women aren't so different, on the flipside society has taught women to care most about what others think they look like...men will never have enough 'things' and women will never be 'pretty enough' in a nutshell. But I don't think we should bag on men for placing value in sport or teamwork, as those kinds of things are actually very admirable. But I do agree with the speaker in that men should be encouraged to form more lasting and open relationships - never be afraid to ask how your mates are because they might always act like they're ok!

[@raterake]

And it's very hard for men to complain about their issues, because if we do... well then we're not really "being men" are we? So good for the man in this speech to do just that.

[@TropicMews]

Being 'manly' means having courage (stereotypically anyways), right? Well, as a man, expressing yourself and talking about how you feel in this kind of society takes an awful lot of that, doesn't it. :)

[@MrWsPE]

I coach HS lacrosse and I how this video to all of my young men at the beginning of the season.

[@orangerichard56]

I am shocked by all the weirdos who disagree with this. he has been sincere and after hearing all of this there like "what a pansy just because he is intelligent about this"

[@lukeb8045]

+Leon Tarkshina I disagree, it is actually a really good sign to see a diversity of opinion here, too many times even at the TED talk it is about preaching to the converted. Ehrmann didn't really speak to me but I think he was speaking the right language to reach a lot of people he was trying to reach, and I think that is a gift.

[@DoggyP00]

A large part of the negative response may come from the speaker's awful awful presentation. This guy sounds so single minded and arrogant. He sounds like a conservatieve extremist and a racist. Maybe in 50 years when new ideas come around and hes somehow still alive he will be one. Look up other ted talks on presentation and itll explain more details.

[@ZuneFreek]

+Dong Lee (sliux109) To me he sounded like a man. Meaning his tone was firm, he maintained a certain dominant and confident energy about him. The message was exact, clear and to the point. He has lived, learned, is decided about his beliefs and is relaying his experience back out. The message needed to be presented this way because it's what men will respond to.

[@Li9uidMang0]

There is a difference between sexual conquest and sex in general. Sexual conquest is exactly that; a conquest. I am conquering you for my own personal glory; not because I care about your well-being, because I want to make you happy, and not because I love you. That's why it's exploitative, and yes, it can go both ways. The phrase "sexual conquest" refers not to sex, but intent. It's not wrong for a man to have sex, but having sex for pride isn't going to fulfill you in the end.

[@rafaelmendoza4940]

Truth here is preached

[@michelelcroc]

It amazes me that someone could perceive he is saying emote like a woman! He is merely saying it's okay for men to emote (you've never seen a man cry because someone has died? He's lost his best girl? etc.? Grief and loss is real.

[@beastx95]

"The key to happiness is to love and to work." Looks like Freud wasn't too far off with this one.