The Milkman Vendetta | Father Ted S3 E3 | Absolute Jokes

Father Dougal takes over the role of milkman after the priests get the regular milkman fired, but the former milkman gets the last laugh.
Beloved sitcom focused on three priests living on Craggy Island, a remote island off the west coast of Ireland. Father Ted Crilly is sent to the island as punishment for using charitable funds for a holiday in Las Vegas, but his true punishment comes in the form of Father Dougal Maguire and Jack Hackett, one a fresh-faced naive young priest, and the other a foul-mouthed, rage-filled alcoholic. Mrs Doyle is their nosy housekeeper, who makes plentiful pots of tea and never takes `no' for an answer. Despite their isolation, the priests get into their fair share of mildly sinful, entirely madcap adventures.
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[@TheLennonette]

Dougal passing out from the sheer loudness of the passing truck is simply one of the finest moments of this brilliant show. Gets me every time!

[@SuperJNG18]

Might be the funniest moment in any TV show, let alone this genius one

[@tyrotrainer765]

@@SuperJNG18 The brick right at the end. Icing on the cake.

[@Lotsolov4u]

That's exactly why came here just now 😂😂😂

[@Soki7000]

I love that Ted sits down with a cup of tea rather than get cleaned up and change.

[@christianloper9483]

First things first xD

[@davidw.2791]

@@christianloper9483 Mrs Doyle would be so fucking proud of her boys on this.

[@PuddingAtheist]

Well I mean like how would we know what happened if he went upstairs and got changed its a sitcom

[@golu_badbola]

Milkman: *breathes* Mrs. Doyle: _laughs maniacally like the witch from Wizard of Oz_

[@davidw.2791]

Context? ❓

[@Agnes28ify]

Absolutely brilliant 😆🤣🤣🤣

[@wendygillissen]

''Those women were in the nip!'' gets me every time. One of my favorite episodes of a classic show. I can watch it time and time again. It never gets old.

[@whitewarrior4777]

The unnecessary boxes in the middle of the road is hilarious.

[@Jchathe]

Very Starsky and Hutch LOL

[@rilmar2137]

If I'm not mistaken, in some Polish soap opera they killed off one of the characters by having them drive into some cardboard boxes on the road...

[@-jank-willson]

...And then Ted just stacks them in a perfect pyramid, in the other lane...

[@toastman1992]

And then just drives right through them anyway

[@davidw.2791]

I mean, it’s the same comedy trope as Adam West’s Batman trying to throw the big bomb into the river but noooooo there are innocent ducks there.

[@CaptainLumpyDog]

‘Pat was wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box?’ I am dead.

[@peteriebling7732]

I had the same exact thought ..... hhhhmmm

[@AlohaBlade]

How DARE you!

[@James-zj3ud]

@@AlohaBlade IT'S TOO BIG FOR THE MILKFLOAT!!!!

[@markdevonport3274]

@@James-zj3ud I'll uh, I'll pick it up tomorrow.

[@puirYorick]

A literal *brick* joke in three beats then the slapstick payoff at the end, close on the heels of the little black square on the front window from two episodes ago that later dropped perfectly into the script as Hitler's mustache. Brilliant writing in the way they cover so many textbook comedy tropes in the show.

[@TheConstitutionalLibertarian]

This had to be the best episode of Father Ted. It's my favorite.

[@ridethelapras]

Robert Willis It's a close contender with Tentacles of Doom.

[@justyna8156]

"Christmassy Ted" is the leader as far as I'm concerned.

[@get-the-joke]

Certainly the best part of the Speed series.

[@brinkybrinkz]

All episodes were great!

[@brinkybrinkz]

My favorites are the episodes with the father who always has bad luck! Lol!

[@jackmurphy6864]

"Unless it's UHT milk. But there's no demand for that because it's shite." 😂 Pure Irish quote lol

[@jlizamavera]

2023 and still enjoying Father Ted.😊

[@Yanula-rx5mj]

Same here☺

[@pauljeffress6743]

I just discovered Father Ted and now i love it.

[@cityhawk]

At 14:11, damn she has a great pair! She could feed a village with what she has. Well done! 😃

[@bearflipstable8365]

I mean… you’re not wrong

[@reidkeevers]

THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP

[@jenniferwills9752]

Barely.

[@bartholemeowthefirst]

@@jenniferwills9752 The first was al natural.

[@justyna8156]

Seems like Pat Mustard has been delivering more than dairy products. 💎😂

[@Elizabethloveit93]

I love how Ted fuss over Dougal before delivering those milk, it's funny and adorable. They act like Father and Son 😂♥️

[@Enbix]

5:43 "well Ted, I'm very cynical, as you know"

[@Bee-ih5uy]

When Mrs. Doyle slyly removes one of the photos from the table! Lol!

[@paulmayer6715]

Prior to that, she was ironing the curtains. Took me a while to catch that.

[@patrickobrien7681]

Series is near 25 years old, watched copious times (can near recite this episode word for word) yet still makes me laugh.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

Speed 3 is without a doubt one of the best episodes of Father Ted.

[@davidguiney1746]

It's also the best of the Speed trilogy

[@ASmitty217]

Best episode of the series by far!!! "Another mass?! That's our best idea?!"

[@OnyxVenator]

the mere fact that this episode is called speed 3 has me dying! XD

[@danielwilliamson6180]

Funny enough, Ardal O'Hanlon appeared with Dennis Hopper on The Graham Norton Show.

[@davidw.2791]

It also makes sense in the episode’s context because the Magic Bomb Number this time around is 4 mph instead of 50.

[@ZeXiOn26]

"There's a bomb on the milk float!" "Right, who's that for?"

[@jasonhare8540]

This is exactly the kind of high drama that's missing from today's television 😂

[@ximoruiz7199]

That tractor showing up with them saying mass... that man bargaining for the kids photos.... hilarious!!!!!!!

[@joetie7516]

"Ted you forgot your brick! PUT IT BACK!!"

[@murman6140]

Possibly the best 30 minutes of comedy ever written!

[@YukoValis]

such a great episode. My favorite part is dougal in the car. Dougal: "I turned it up as loud as I can. At this level you can hear a pi..." *truck passes by and uses its horn* Dougal: *convulses*

[@Hal0_The_Synth]

The way dougal goes down after the truck goes past a fully turned up microphone always cracks me up!

[@SamuelKristopher]

Thanks for the upload. Favourite series ever.

[@AbsoluteJokes]

You're welcome, we've got many more great UK comedy shows coming including Spaced, Smack The Pony and Popetown (which started 3 days ago)

[@21anusha]

Samuel Kristopher keeping up appearances ??

[@Miggydmachine]

Samuel Kristopher is this free

[@CaptainLumpyDog]

Miguel Martinez Nope. Please pay me $100. Thanks!

[@ConnorJara]

As a kid i found it hilarious how Pat Mustard was talking shite over the phone all day and night to the Father. This was the best episode!

[@MrUndersolo]

Still one of the best episodes of any series I have ever seen...

[@Dickens58]

Absurdist comedy at its very best. The part with the boxes is classic. Plus the way all the themes are woven together is amazing.

[@sharroon7574]

Mrs Doyle's laugh is really something.

[@jimisi7424]

funniest sitcom ever, and the funniest episode of them all. just never gets old

[@jasonsmith4330]

So many good jokes in a row. I mean the writing was done so well and they had a great cast delivering it all, and like this episodes even the guest stars did a great job.

[@1954crc]

I laughed my butt off at 14:00 to 14:45. Those 2 women in the nip were expecting Pat Mustard. Surprise,it's Dougal.

[@99mrpogi]

Lol. Pat mustard wearing sunglasses at night

[@CaptainLumpyDog]

I LOVE MY BRICK!

[@gav7256]

AAAAAH FECK IT

[@Ohmloud]

Briiiiiick....

[@Aran-vc7rx]

fed up with briiiick!

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

While this isn't my favorite episode of this show (not because it's bad, but there's too many good ones), the rolling Mass gag is hands-down the funniest joke in the series for me.

[@Besat]

Is there ANYTHING to be said for saying another mass?

[@el6178]

Everyone who loves Father Ted should join a big travelling group to Ireland !☺

[@el6178]

@Jesus Defender Down with that sort of thing..

[@el6178]

We 'll be like the grannies in the poetry contest episode.

[@cityhawk]

@@el6178 Careful Now!

[@Aran-vc7rx]

Pat mustard in the phone booth with the explosive milk float slowly coming toward him.

[@shaneupham705]

When all hope is lost and all else fails have another mass

[@DogbiteW]

But lower your voice to a mass murmur.

[@writeract2]

i love mrs. doyle's mint green outfit - you go Mrs. Doyle.

[@gittebjerrebraae8382]

Dermot's slapstick was stellar in this episode

[@AMStationEngineer]

I saw this show, 'first run, on a bootleg PAL VHS tape, during the summer of '98'; if memory serves, between 17:20, and 17:22, the original series actually showed almost three seconds of a manure spreader - preceding the 'mobile altar'. I made damn sure the converted copy was in the VCR, when our priest came for 'block collection', that August. I didn't even need to cue this one. Had I had the gumption to press "play", I would have shot myself "Russian Roulette - style, with Mrs. Doyle's box". I wish that my Irish-born (County Donegal) and raised grandmother, the quintessential Catholic, would've lived another five years - just to experience Father Ted.

[@RaineQi]

Thank you Brian, Nogla and Mini

[@RCARD-pz2et]

Neal Rainer Chio we are here for the same reason

[@BlueMHart]

If there was some way to forget that I had ever seen this episode and watch it all over again for the first time, I would gladly take it. Probably my second favorite after the Christmas episode.

[@gui18bif]

I have just watched this for the first time and i feel the same!

[@MrUndersolo]

One of the best written episodes of the show!

[@ETphonehome123]

That was by far the BEST...Irish humor, like I know & 💗

[@Kmcali76]

Dougal shouting and tearing off that uniform....."I'm a priest!" 🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣

[@TheModernHermeticist]

not enough episodes of this show :(

[@D3w10n]

Well, if you dont master necromancy, we dont have an option xD

[@lukelambert6245]

Adding father ted to the list... Jesus Elvis Father Tedd

[@AMStationEngineer]

Father Jack is with them (now), too; arse biscuits!

[@Confucios1118]

I love that how Dougal handles delivering milk shows if he wasn’t so moronic he’s actually a genuinely kind and descent person. I especially love that of all the ways to show it, he’s completely oblivious to the fact that the women were presenting themselves to him, even if it was by mistake.

[@ProjectLingka]

I like how the numbera on the odometer don't change

[@amandareusser6121]

One of my absolute favorite episodes!!!

[@happyheadteach4242]

RIP Pat Mustard !

[@astralpowers]

This is the best Speed of the trilogy especially since there's no Sandra Bullock!

[@jenniferwills9752]

Or Keanu reeves

[@SuperJNG18]

I don't know if there's any moment, in any work, in any form of media, as funny as Dougal's ears getting blown out while they're spying on Pat Mustard.

[@risabnormus]

Gonna be honest, this episode is pretty cute and wholesome 🤣

[@aranerem3767]

The funniest episode of father ted

[@adamwade43]

Mrs. Gleason needs to shave that thing LOL I love this episode

[@danielwilliamson6180]

This is one of the best episodes of Father Ted: 0:48 1:24 2:07 2:53 2:59 5:21 6:19 8:29 9:16 9:28 11:30 12:01 12:23 12:33 12:41 12:56 13:39 14:36 15:32 16:30 16:49 21:16 21:22 21:50 22:06 22:29 23:28 and 24:18 LOL

[@jockbeems4798]

he actually wore a suit covered in vomit seemingly without a thought about changing cloths! awesome...

[@amithande770]

Even though dougal was stupid and irritate ted most of the time , ted really care about him like a father

[@tojoinbobdylan]

Bc Dougal is just a real sweet guy

[@jway9097]

U sayin we some kind of Father Ted and shit? Dayum

[@Bullet-Tooth-Tony-]

My favourite Father Ted episode 🤣

[@gtrman9706]

Brilliant writing, brilliant series.

[@yeoseotidle2290]

6:36 Dougal’s reaction and delivery is the best

[@tomnguyen9159]

Pat, watch out. The milk van with bombs is coming to you. Oh no, he got his AirPods on. Oh God, oh fuck.

[@NxDoyle]

Clearly Mustard's sex appeal was contingent on being a milkman.

[@beauryan101]

This episode is the one that always stays in my mind from this show when I first watched it

[@moegardner1]

This is my favorite episode

[@teresas8173]

Moe Gardner ,kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse is equally as funny

[@amysanchez3699]

I'm imagining all comments with an Irish accent. It's fecking great.

[@hiimterry2009]

"Was it definitely Mrs. Doyle?" I fell out of my chair.

[@danielwilliamson6180]

0:43 "AND I'M SICK OF IT!!!" He walks in covered in Dougal's vomit.

[@xenohtype]

Daniel Williamson ... It wasn’t Dougal’s, it was the babies’.

[@maximillianford9301]

@@xenohtype no mate it was Dougal's. The joke is that in most situations you'd expect it to be from the babies, but Dougal's just like a little kid and gets way too excited.

[@brinkybrinkz]

Dougal when the truck lays on the horn. Lol!

[@venom-wolverine9051]

How Ted just sits there with a gallon of vomit all over him with a cup of milk tea..

[@Protoman888]

In the bright constellation of Father Ted, this particular star twinkles brightest.

[@teresas8173]

Protoman888 kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse is great as well

[@djnesado9822]

Thank you Daithi, Craig, and Brian

[@K._Oss]

Pat Mustard looks like the personification of a heart attack.

[@patrickcraig6032]

Thanks,still laughing.

[@djnesado9822]

Too much funny stuff to quote in this lmfao

[@latenightlogic]

16:39 that might be my favourite joke in any sitcom ever.

[@em23]

speed 3 > speed 2

[@TheNameOfJesus]

This episode had interweaving storylines and a hilarious unpredictable punchline (two of them) at 24:10 that were very much like the kind of techniques used in his following series, The IT Crowd. The joke at 3:11 was also re-used in The IT Crowd when Moss opens a fridge with lots of water bottles.

[@Aran-vc7rx]

The towering inferno was a big building that caught fire

[@withlove312]

I am obsessed with the theme they play for the milkman, anyone know if it's from an actual recorded song?

[@TheCarArchives96]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/hmTKqWp5iL14sNE

[@adammcdonald7982]

It's called man friday

[@nirvanaofmonkasar1107]

Thank you dead parrot for the uploads.can you upload The IT crowd please?

[@simonthomson217]

Great line about the UHT milk being shite!

[@dinahkyle3196]

Most hilarious episode of Father Ted

[@midwest9757]

Young Banger!!!!

[@googelle7555]

-_- ... ... O_O "Those women were in the nip!" lol

[@ryanocarroll6426]

Pat Mustard said he fought in Vietnam. What was his rank, colonel?

[@cityhawk]

Maybe he was in the closet with the candlestick not Ho Chi Minh.

[@WoofDawgmann]

@@cityhawk It was in the kitchen. And how can it be Colonel Mustard? *You* have Colonel Mustard. You showed it to me earlier.

[@go4thmultiply349]

8:19 Best Smirk EVER.

[@gav7256]

AAAAH FECK IT!!

[@Astrithor]

Fed up with BREEEEEEECK!

[@danielwilliamson6180]

@@Astrithor I LOVE MY BRICK!

[@MrLathyrus]

Ich liebe es!

[@BillyWilliam-py5kg]

14:06 wow Huge 😁😘

[@xavierdoe2452]

This is the best version of the movie Speed.

[@Tragamin06]

lol dead parrot casually renaming all the episodes

[@morlar]

what a season

[@jaimehudson7623]

Dougal: "Two Pints... Two Pints of Milk" at 12 O'Clock High (at 14:11)

[@eddievhfan1984]

Textbook brick joke. Classic.

[@bored.in.california2111]

Is there ANYTHING to be said about saying another MASS?