The Missing Feeling in 'Past Lives'

[@hoikatia]

i appreciated this exact subtlety. whereas most films about immigrants focus on hardships of adaptation and that feeling of not fitting here nor there, this is a fresh perspective based on a unique experience. nora moved on and would have been a perfectly integrated asian american, but then someone from her past makes her every now and then wonder and reminisce and ultimately grieve things she didn't even know she had lost. some aspects are relatable, and some not, and that's okay

[@emilianomontelongo4865]

Thing is that she is just like "when I immigrated I was sad" and nothing is shown, so we dont get to have an opportunity to like her. Both of them have so muany moments like that. Like, why do I care she does theater? She could do anything alse and the story could be the same. Why do I care he was in the army? My theory on why a lot people like this "subtlety" is actually flatness that allows you to project yourself on the character. I have separated for the same situation from someone for that same situation in the last years, but I never saw myself, not even an instant, in any of both characters.

[@mpg3946]

Agreed. The subtlety is what makes the story universal, for me.

[@mine-fq3zr]

exactly. the "flatness" gives the character "a state of blank" that makes audiences (who got it) can easily see themselves in the characters. idk but imo this is a huge gamble for Celine Song, bcs she gives a massive trust on her audiences. but i think, the "sublety" also works so well due to the choice of narration in the Past Live. this story's narration is objective, we the audiences are "the outsider". we judge the characters as only what's seen on the camera. hate it or love it, our review on Past Lives will tell who we are as a person.

[@julianoor-kk3rx]

To me the film was like an edward hopper painting without the faces filled in. The cinematography and score was beautiful but story not so much. In fact it was not about the men or romance that mattered the interesting aspect was her parents but she has not released it. I feel like she is more like her childhood paramore then she reliseases. He is is following protocol, army service then engineering with expection of his parents and society but with an element of despondency. But actually so is she. Her parents are successful artists so in the fabric of her family to be successful is to be creative. As a highly competitive person that is why she is obsessed with prizes it proves within the values of her family she has won. Maybe why they are so obsessed with eachother he contains the romantic aspect and she contains a corporate determination. There is no detail in the depiction of the men or her. Where is there any real relfections or observations no rawness

[@gonaye1]

I think what struck me so deeply about this film was how the characters kept dividing their hearts between people they loved and dreams they would not get go of, and ultimately kept saying painful goodbyes to each other (in very silent ways) time after time throughout the story. Hae Sung wasn’t ready to say goodbye in Korea, but even though he searched for Nora over the years he also did not want to let go of his dreams and education. He chose studying in China over coming to New York, and when he finally did come to Nora, he was forced to come to terms with his choice and accept that he had lost her for good (at least in this life). Nora made a choice to pursue her dreams right from the start of the story, and discovered a new love that was very closely connected to the dreams she pursued. By the time she discovered Hae Sung on Facebook (and quickly realized her love for him was rekindling) she was forced to come to terms with the fact that Hae Sung was not going to immediately come to her side of the world (where her dreams lived) any more than she was going to go to his. Out of the three leads, Arthur makes the most sacrificial decision in the story. He loves Nora and fears losing her to her childhood crush, but he also wants her to find closure and be true to herself, even if it means he might lose her. He goes full ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and ‘let’s Belle go,’ giving Nora the freedom to choose her path and either leave him for Hae Sung or find closure and come back to him again. The conversation at the bar, while casually observed as a curious combination of characters in the beginning of the film, was a moment in time filled with powerful decisions and deeply painful realizations, all quietly expressed and ultimately unheard by anyone but the three characters themselves. I can’t say exactly why, but that scene (along with the bedtime conversation where Arthur talks about not being able to be fully connected with Nora in her thoughts) deeply moved me. When Nora finally says goodbye to Hae Sung, she mourns the pain of her choice, and Hae Sung, after all these years, finally lets her go in his heart. When Nora weeps in Arthur’s arms, Arthur knows the journey hurt Nora’s heart, and instead of feeling joy, in yet another act of sacrifice, begins devoting himself to helping his wife heal the part of herself that she had to (so painfully) say goodbye to. I think this film moves me so much because Hae Sung and Nora are willing to sacrifice loving each other to love themselves. Sometimes I have to give up something I want for something I feel in my heart is right, or feel is best for me, and making that kind of choice hurts. I also kept seeing underlying truth in almost every unspoken word or expression from Hae Sung and Nora. I felt the connection between them, but I also felt them constantly applying restraint over their thoughts and emotions (Nora so much so, that you don’t really see her break until the very end). It hurt to feel that time bomb of sorrow ticking under the metaphorical table… yet I couldn’t stop rooting for all three characters and wishing the best for them… and I couldn’t stop watching, even when realizing this story would not end the way my heart wanted it to. It was painful, but somehow also beautiful. I’m learning that life is filled with pain and heartache (for all kinds of reasons), but it’s rare to see a film where characters are so accepting of the pain and heartache their choices might cause (especially if that pain is being self-inflicted). It was like watching the final “what could have been” scene in La La Land, but with the consequences of choosing one’s dreams over love stretched out from the very beginning of the story, to the very end. I’m glad you gave the film a chance and explored it’s themes so thoroughly (and critiqued it so honestly). I’m not sure I would have tried to articulate how I felt about the movie (and why it moved me) if you hadn’t, so thank you for sharing your honest thoughts about Past Lives. Looking forward to more of your videos.

[@MaRyaYTOfficial]

I actually watched la-la-land after past lives to feel better if you could believe it

[@KentoYamazaki1]

I just watched past lives today because I had seen it on come out on Netflix and after watching it I totally get what you mean with everything you said when I was watching it I thought it would end up like those typical films but after finishing watching the film I learnt it’s much more than your typical romance movies and how they were willing to sacrifice loving each other In order to love themselves

[@ephemeral_arts]

This is so incredibly well written. I feel the same but could not have articulated it so beautifully as you have

[@annabrenda8694]

Why would you expect anyone you care about to give up their their life in their home country as well as their dreams just to come "love" you in another country? Only a selfish insensitive person would want that Hae never said he couldn't or wouldn't go to New york, he said It would only be possible after a year and a half, which is nothing considering how long some people have to wait for their loved ones All Nora had to do was be content with their online interactions for just a year until the could finally meet in person but she wanted what she wanted and she wanted it now, if she couldn't get it, eff everyone else Hae told her he needed to go to China to learn Manderin for his job but her response was phuck your job! Come to new York and learn English instead, WHY? Because I just want you here 😏 Nora never loved any of those men, as has been pointed in this video, she cared only about herself So that silly intense star contest moment with Hae and the crying in Arthur's arms at the end made no sense. She didn't love Hea or her past Korean self so what was she grieving???? If she is indeed crying because she couldn't be with her long lost love then why is Arthur making her do it? He said he didn't want to be the evil white guy keeping two soul mates apart so why is he doing the exact same thing?

[@YueNoxYin]

To me the love was sprouting for Nora and Hae Sung was in Act 2. It's also the reason why she broke contact, because it was interfering with her life and plans. Act 3 was about cementing the distance and to give each of them closure. The way she was talking to him in Act 3 also felt different than in Act 2, which I felt was intentional to establish that distance, but still remaining a friendly host. For me the movie was more about what we give up and lose as we grow up. Edit: This is one of my favorite movies. I think the reason some people didn't like it is the same reason I loved it; The missing romance in the Act 3. People, like the reviewer and Hae Sung, were looking for love and romance that wasn't there. The "Inyeong" and romance perspective was setting up people's expectations, because a lot of people want to believe in some kind of love and destiny. Past Lives instead went with a more realistic closure route instead so I think having that expectation taken away from them made it seem like something was missing. That closure was beautiful and simple for me, but I think I see why people wanted more. It really is a movie about what we lose as we grow up and sometimes life just goes on.

[@salishUnibrow]

I agree, and I think that so much of Nora‘s nonchalant behavior in her personal life and hyperfocus on her career ambition is a possible side affect of socialized assimilation. I think some of her resistance even in her private moments towards this man up until the last act was a defense mechanism cultivated by Western living. That’s why it’s so important that Hae Sung was so earnest and raw about his feelings about her.

[@karimabintekamal7746]

I agree with you..Nora was different in the final act, but Hae sung saw her in act 1 and 2. He has the same picture of Nora as he saw her as a girl and as an adult. Where Nora grew up as a different version of herself which was unseen by Hae sung. In Nora's head he was just a long lost friend. When they finally met, Hae sung realized that the person he loved this is not the same version as he imagined. Nora never searched for Hae sung says it all. I love the movie because of its simplicity to portray a random immigrant' s life. No extra drama, they just told us a good story.. It gets the hype because the story resonates with many immigrants i guess.

[@jonahbusch1194]

I don’t think the reviewer was saying he wanted romance in the third act, I think he’s saying if romance is not the driving factor, then what is? If it’s supposed to be closure of her past lives and an acceptance of her new life it seems odd that the movie barely spends any time developing a sense of longing for the previous aspects of her life. Every time her old life gets brought up she actually seems all too happy to be away from it which is why the ending feels a little odd to some if it’s not romance she is grieving

[@paradise_valley]

Hi I didn’t love this (don’t think it’s overrated but it didn’t work for me) but my favourite part was the realism and good nature in the characters to remain childhood friends and not turn into a hallmark rom com thing, the romance genre as a whole seems dull to me. I’m more upset by it being so close to perfection but failing to reach it in my eyes. Frustrating.

[@flooby1338]

For Hae Sung, I think he saw Nora as a light in his ordinary life. To him, she is exceptional since childhood full of ambition and drive for what she wants. He doesn't so much yearn for the possibility of them ending up together but more chasing the idea of what she represents to him that seems so out of reach. Hae Sung admits he works an ordinary job and lives and ordinary life and that he is pretty wishy washy about his relationships. That's why he's spent so much time idealizing her in his mind all those years.

[@QualityCulture]

I felt the same way about Hae Sung actually. He reminded me of Tom from 500 days of summer in that he kind of sees Nora like she's his manic pixie dream girl. Part of me thought it might be interesting to explore that dynamic from the manic pixie dream girl's POV, since Nora is living her own complicated life.

[@mariee_e]

THIS. And I feel like ppl who don’t see this just aren’t aware of it in their own lives

[@blank_uta7174]

​@@QualityCulturehey, can you check out a movie called "96? Past lives really reminded me of it.

[@chrisconstanti5384]

I think you have to be able to relate to that kind of relationship/ friendship.. then the movie rly hits home. It’s so realistic too and I rly felt like they’re real people. Great movie

[@beaumaddox7098]

i honestly cant relate and this is my number one favorite film of all time, its just so good

[@cliffordyee745]

I intensely relate to this movie with a friend of mine

[@shidneyseldon]

I can not relate to this film but this made me emotional while watching it. I'm human with empathy, affected by a very subtle, compelling, and demurely artistic film.

[@gulaybasri3263]

I can relate a lot to them, but this movie didn't hit AT ALL

[@CaptPicard81]

I watched this movie through the cracks in the seats on the screen of the person sitting in the row in front of me on a plane. No sound, could only read the subtitles, didn’t get any of the English dialogue. I still cried like a baby at the end lol. It was a very powerful film for me

[@gashinadiamond3146]

the first time i watched it, it didn't really hit for me but on a rewatch is when i felt it. i think earlier i sensed the lack of nora's romantic attraction to haesung so didn't get the hype of it being a sweeping love story, but on the second watch i realized that it IS a love story, but not romantic. it's nora's connection to her roots, and while she doesnt seem to ever doubt or regret leaving korea, it's still part of her identity and inyeon. i think the story was just supposed to be a story of inyeon, and how places and people can mean a lot to us but when it's time to leave and move on, we must; but their mark is forever on us. reminder that haesung was the one who initiated the visit, so nora did move on, but it's only when she meets him again does she begin to feel the divide between two parts of herself as signified at the bar. the dream quote is a significant one for me; nora says she only speaks to her mother in korean but we later learn that she also does when she dreams. it's still who she is subconsciously, she isn't even aware of it, until it's all brought up by haesung's visit. so that's what i interpreted it as, a story of how your fate takes you through different experiences in life, which - while we consciously may not reminisce anymore, or may even be happy to leave behind - is still there somewhere within us, coming out only once we confront it again.

[@Nathanatos22]

16:01 She is not “perfectly content” with her husband. Even in the examples you provided, she doesn’t say she’s content. She says she “ended up” where she’s “supposed” to be. The film’s central conflict is an emotional struggle between where she’s dreamed of being and where she feels she’s “supposed” to be. Many of us end up in places that are distant from what we’ve dreamed of, and we resign ourselves to that. This movie asks us what we would do if a forgotten dream somehow found a way to manifest itself. Would we continue to do what we’re “supposed” to do, or would we follow that dream? If you didn’t see any of that, it’s not surprising the movie didn’t resonate with you.

[@SidVidZid]

I agree, she is far from “perfectly content”. She might even be happy in her marriage but she’s definitely not content, this aspect is what makes the movie so sad.

[@AriD2385]

I don’t think any scene in the movie suggests that Nora is anything but content with her American life and identity, and she never expresses any longing or nostalgia for Korea. From childhood she prioritizes life outside of Korea and in America as the most important thing to her. In fact, she consistently dismisses and minimizes the importance of Korea, even her own given name, as well as her connection to Hae Sung. The film requires the audience to project a lot onto the characters that the characters themselves don’t express.

[@Awesmediocrity]

For me, a huge part of my enjoyment of the film is how Song films both Korea and New York. I don’t think I’ve ever seen New York shot the way it was in Past Lives. Seoul adopts a lot of the visual shorthand we associate with New York and New York adopts a lot of the shorthand used for a lot of Asian film. It really heightens the feeling of leaving a part of your heart somewhere else as you grow and change

[@tawnyflower-in5yy]

This is really interesting, could you elaborate on the visual shorthand for New York/Asia?

[@nkem6750]

I connected to the story because I'm an immigrant myself, and I related to the story of the people and things, culture and identity that you leave behind when you move away from your home country. The film really leans into the question of 'what might have been' if Nora had stayed. And I often wonder about that in my own life.

[@QualityCulture]

I think the film feels undercooked just because it kind of requires this personal projection imo. The themes and ideas in the movie are really interesting but I didn't really get the sense that Nora ever wonders this "what if". It feels more like we the audience feel that emotion instead of her.

[@eataneraser]

@@QualityCulture I'm a big fan of the movie, but this specific critique does feel apt. The way it comes off seems to tug more at the heartstrings of men experiencing unrequited feelings, because Nora spends more time managing the emotions of either man around her than reconciling her own emotions about "what could have been." It's there early on with the video chats, but she always seems in control of it, and virtually disappears after that. I related to the movie as a man with longing in my heart, but I didn't see that vulnerability in her.

[@binaryvoid0101]

I’m American-born and only know English and I was deeply moved by this movie.

[@kirag9509]

⁠​⁠@@QualityCultureI think it’s unfair to call the story “undercooked” just because you personally didn’t connect with the film. From your commentary on the film, it sounded like you weren’t the film’s target audience - and that’s okay - but I think it’s unfair to call the film underdeveloped just because you couldn’t connect to the storyline, especially since other people have connected so strong to the storyline.

[@RavenPH12]

@@kirag9509 I agree with you. The following statements I will share is not to say as if I am being contrarian to QC’s points (because they are all valid to me). But using “undercooked” and “underdeveloped” gives the impression of “I know more than the writer/filmmaker to make this story work”. It under appreciates the thought process and effort the filmmakers took to create the movie. Nevertheless, I think QC’s take on Past Lives could be boiled down to “This isn’t my cup of tea”. Which is okay. Art is subjective.

[@enokii]

Hrmm, I didn't have a visceral reaction to this film either but I believe the most compelling part of this film is the invitation to subjective interpretation. I've seen others react to the almost blank-slate insert characters (which characters do you most identify with at this present moment) and some question Nora and whether or not she is emotionally cheating? Some view Nora's relationship with Arthur as shaky at best while others are uncomfortable with Hae Sung "pursuing" Nora. Every interpretation is equally as valid, your interpretation says more about you than the art. It's a fun exercise at self reflection packaged as a film and I think it will be interesting to revisit as I move through life.

[@YasmeenCheM]

I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

[@trao1938]

I don't think Hae Sung came to New York to pursue Nora, but for closure- so that he could finally put their story behind him and go on with his own life. That's what Nora convinced herself she was giving him. But by the end scene, we understand that she needed that closure just as much as he did. Nora and Hae Sung will probably stop communicating on social media and never see each other again. Hae Sung's absence in her life signifies how Nora must stop engaging in the past and begin fully committing herself to the life she's made with Arthur.

[@RavenPH12]

“Your interpretation says more about you than the art” that’s exactly right! I love how you worded this.

[@thehopeofeden597]

“Sidenote, but would New Yorkers really bat an eye at three people at a bar?” Funny enough, as a New Yorker, watching the film in Manhattan, I felt like everybody in the audience unanimously immediately thought that those people were tourists. I took that as intentional given that Brooklyn Bridge Park is a popular large tourist attraction. I liked it because it’s the idea of Nora and her husband, who are effectively New Yorkers at this point despite being raised in other places, being seen as the foreigners in a situation by people who have less claim to the identity of “New Yorker” as they do.

[@tercac]

lol my gf and I have lived in New York for 7 years and we always talk about people in the bar with us

[@kiddlorenz7582]

As an immigrant from asia, i have developed a different character of myself for over 12 years living in Canada. i moved here when i was 14 and pretty much changed the way i live along with my personality and identity whereas my childhood life and memory have become isolated in the corner of my mind and still lingers on me everyday that i often think what if I stayed and have grown in my motherland as who i was before this personality I am in right now. what could he become? And whenever I go visit my home and and see familiar faces, somehow i don't feel like myself, should i act like who i am now or who i was when i was living there. Those familiar faces often triggers my "first identity/past life" and have no idea how to act around them, i feel conflicted, vulnerable, and get confuse about who i really am as a person. Nora portrayed that part perfectly, i've seen and know those expressions so well, she looks confuse whenever she tries to talk with hae sung and that she seems to mask up or hide her childhood/first identity in front of him because she wants him to get to know her who she currently is; her "second identity/present life" while hae sung have grown his "first identity" and them meeting each other again paints the picture of "i know that I know you so well I do but now.. I'm not sure". When they met for the first time in years she made him feel like she sees him as hae saung that she knew in her childhood and because of that hae sung thinks she is still the na young he met in his childhood because simply she still remembers him and he felt reconnected for the first time in forever. and at the very last scene where hae sung finally left, she goes back to arthur and cried that's when we finally saw her "first identity" fully fleshed out being shown to arthur; the person she trust and knows who she currently is, who makes her sane in the present; that second identity.

[@wangray9456]

Yeah, i think this movie really reflects a lot on the Asians experience and struggle of living in the West.

[@fajr162]

have u seen riceboy sleeps?

[@kiddlorenz7582]

no i have not

[@critiqueofthegothgf]

the subtlety, simplicity and quietness is exactly what drew me to past lives and what I love about it so much. song omitted hectic, heightened moments of spectacle (besides the climax), to tell a slow moving and just incredibly authentic story. "this is where I ended up, this is where I am supposed to be", I see a film sending a message of acceptance, accepting the present, accepting your life for what it is now and I think that's beautiful.

[@codylakin288]

I appreciate the gentle and thoughtful take even though I fundamentally don’t agree-which, with this film, really comes down to one’s own connection to it. For me, I’ve experienced a relationship so much like the one here, I felt like my heart became an open wound across the entire runtime. At times it was uncanny. Even in the ways it diverged, it hit so close to home and so hard. Plus it felt so real to me, I didn’t feel I was witnessing a fictional story; it felt real to me.

[@mihohomundo]

I think that this movie wouldn't have hit me 10 years ago. I think Nora didn't realise until the very end that she lost something that would never come back, that maybe she moved on without mourning the life she left behind. Not that we all have to stay a lot of time doing so or reflecting on it. However, as I am growing older, I see my past behind and I know that I couldn't get everything I wanted and while continuing to my future, I will also leave behind other things I want now, and that kind of loss still hurts. One day more in my life is one day less alive, and maybe, without even knowing right now, I have already said goodbye to friends or family that I might never see again or my remaining time with them is limited, not because I wanted to, but life just happened. And in spite of it, I am exactly where I have to be, pain and all along, a fresh 35 year old immigrant pursuing goals and dreams. That's why this movie reached out my core so beautifully, I bawled with Nora at the end.

[@drewransom12]

Really loved your analysis here! I definitely wonder how much the trailer affected people's experiences with the film, as well as what they brought in from their own lives. I had the opportunity to see Past Lives at last year's Sundance film festival so I had no preconceived notions going in besides a screenshot and brief blurb, and the movie completely wrecked me. But I also have personally experienced some really distinct "what ifs" in my life and focus on that idea in my own self-introspection. I found myself really frustrated with the trailer when it was released because it focused on the whole "romance" aspect. I think romance is absolutely a relevant lens through which to view the film, but I don't think it's necessarily the goal. In the Q&A after my original screening, Celine Song was asked if she'd ever had a version of the script where Hae Sung and Nora kiss at the end, and without missing a beat she replied something like "no, absolutely not, I never considered it." I'm not sure how to articulate *why* the film was so much more meaningful for me than it was for you, especially in regard to your fair critiques here. Perhaps for me it just really hit on themes that are sensitive for me. I don't come from an immigrant background but I have thought a lot about moments in my life where there was a clear event that, had it gone another way, would have led my life in an entirely different direction. I also am completely enamored with the filmmaking on display here, which probably sways my opinion a bit. But your analysis was engaging and forced me to really think about why I loved this film so much, so thank you! It seems common for people to have been excited because of the trailer but then let down by the actual film, so I do wonder how much impact that truly had. And in the end, I think that people's own lives and experiences really, really determine how they feel about this one, since there isn't a super strong emotional conflict/change in our lead character. Somehow it just clicked for me!

[@lostempire12]

1 minute in and I'm already glad I'm not the only one who thought this way.

[@chromesniper00]

I struggled to articulate why I felt this movie was lacking something and this video summed up my thoughts exactly.

[@CosmicPotato]

I personally really liked Past Lives, but you also gotta consider the whole recency bias effect. When EEAAOO came out and was the big indie darling, people were also hyping it to high heaven. You could argue that it was more deserving of the hype than Past Lives, but some folks really were acting like it was the second coming of Jesus lol It's funny that you compared Past Lives to La La Land because I've heard similar criticisms that Gosling and Stone's characters were too flat/generic too, but I assume you didn't find La La Land to be too underdeveloped? I guess a lot of it depends on what experiences you've had in life and how it connects to the films. Also, I get where you're coming from with some of your criticisms, but based on my personal experience, the contradictions totally make sense and is actually part of what I connected with in this movie. I am also of Viet heritage (parents immigrated from Vietnam) and for example I know as a kid and young adult I flatly rejected my very conservative/traditional Vietnamese background, but like Nora I must admit there are times where I feel nostalgic for those times even though I know I've already rejected and moved past it. And I don't think Nora was as firmly rejecting Hae Sung as you make it sound. Like yes she very quickly dismissed the idea of being with Hae Sung when Arthur asked her about it, but to me it felt like she was telling that to herself just as much as she was telling Arthur. Yes pragmatically and realistically, she loves Arthur and wouldn't leave him but that doesn't negate the connection she feels. Whether she was actually going to leave Arthur or not wasn't ever really up for debate and wasn't really the point, in my view. It was about the feeling of being pulled two different ways because of life's circumstances and what could have been if she hadn't lost touch with Hae Sung or moved from Korea. The central conflict wasn't between Arthur and Hae Sung. The central conflict was Nora's feelings being pulled two different directions, regardless whether she would split with Arthur or not since it seemed pretty obvious she would not leave Arthur. In this way, it pretty much is like the lowest stakes conflict possible--it literally is just a journey showing Nora experiencing that nostalgia, feeling torn, and resolving it by talking to Hae Sung face to face and closing that door once and for all. But I think that's why it connected with so many people. The stakes may be small in the grand scheme of things--it's not Thanos trying to kill half the universe or battling colonizers by using sandworms--but it's universality means a lot of people could connect to at least some aspect of the film, and while the stakes are small they feel large because it's so personal.

[@CheyenneLin]

thank you for your take! as much as i wanted to love past lives, it ultimately fell flat for me, but im glad i watched it and that it was made. i hope more films like this are able to shine through in the future :)

[@grmgt]

Oh hey, nice seeing you here. You are both great youtubers

[@dreamychocolateone]

QUALITY CULTURE IS BACK BABY!! Its been too long. I'm not Asian but I enjoy learning about their experience and viewpoints, especially of immigrant Asians. Thanks so much for offering insight about Asian culture that we really don't know alot about.

[@RavenPH12]

I appreciate the honesty of this video essay. I want to know why a film didn’t work for some, while it resonated so deeply to others. This is a great achievement. Looking forward to your team’s future projects!

[@serenediipity]

i think the intro line about the film being more of an anecdote than a story perfectly summarizes my relationship with this movie. slower, pensive films have started to grow on me and as a lover of Cinema Paradiso, i'm a sucker for one-sided unrequited love stories, but the idea of this movie being a "masterpiece" just because its an immigrant perspective on finding romantic closure feels a bit exaggerated. as a wannabe screenwriter i'll say this: like you said the story is from the perspective of nora, who's content with her life while her childhood friend seeks her out. if the protagonist doesn't have something to desperately strive after there is no story because stagnant protagonists just aren't compelling to a wider audience. that's not a diss on the character or her actress, but a 90+ minute plotline doesn't have stakes if we're following someone who is stable and content with their life. i guess taking the perspective of the person who already moved on helps the film not feel like a copy of Eternal Sunshine but the journey of learning to move on is less impactful from nora's point of view

[@zerbina]

it's because it's not about finding romantic closure at all

[@andyamtou5032]

This movie was a mixed bag, but I will still sing its praises. The acting and cinematography were great, even though the story kinda meanders a little and it can feel aimless at times. But then it hits you with a “You had to leave because you are you. And I like you because you are you. And you are someone who leaves” and it wrecked me

[@josephdigristina2808]

I thought I was the only one who wasn't enamored of this film. It was by no means a bad film. I admired it, but I never said to myself "WOW" what a brilliant film. I found it distant and rather unbelievable. I mean who carries a preteen torch for 20 years? No one I know of.

[@deds326]

Exactly. It was weird to me. Nora also described Hae Sung as “manly” but Hae Sung looked like a lost puppy the whole time

[@drendelous]

finally someone addressed it on youtube. i thought i simply got older and missed the thing of the film. happy to see likeminded opinions

[@Lululululee]

Just a quick note about the "feeling of displacement", it really doesn't matter if you are ambitious or have a happy and stable family. Economic immigration (which is due to lack of opportunities in your own culture/country) is always quite heavy on the individual.

[@QualityCulture]

You're definitely right, but I just wish I saw more of this heaviness weigh on Nora. It never seemed to materialize imo

[@soeusei26]

​@@QualityCulture Exactly. This was missing for me in this movie. I thought the same was portrayed very well by Saoirse Ronans caracter in Brooklyn.

[@sarahchoe7218]

But isn’t it great to see the main character not being influenced by romance but gets to grow and move on with her life comfortably, meanwhile she still gets this mixed and bittersweet feeling to say goodbye to her past life? I am actually surprised to hear some criticized her Korean accent meanwhile I was criticizing his accent (his character should speak much more fluent and natural Korean in my opinion). To be honest I believe the ending is what made this film great, the ending that can be only done that way with film medium.

[@MariahBunni]

I 100% agree with your take. I felt that there was something missing. A yearning for a “past life” that was unattainable. Thank you for this video.

[@camouflaging6090]

I think you genuinely have to have a personal connection to the story. Like if you've gone through that, then it's such a painful story

[@fashionbyarpita9215]

I absolutely loved the movie, if felt so real like i have lived in that story and it still expressed all the emotions in such a raw way

[@dajmasta94]

I saw it before the hype and I felt like it was pretty good but nothing spectacular. I feel like a solid 20 minutes could easily be dropped from the runtime and the same effect would be had. The best thing about this movie to me is that it does make you want to see something happen between the characters…And because not much really does it really lets you live in that feeling which is what the characters are going through right? And that’s cool but it felt a little one note. My friend is obsessed with it but he doesn’t see movies like this often and I think that’s partly the reason he enjoyed it so much. I’d give it another shot and maybe knowing it’s never gonna go anywhere more than that longing/conflicted feeling will help me appreciate other aspects I might’ve missed out on? I will also say I typically feel like movies made by play writes (at least the few that I’ve seen) tend to have this sort of stale presentation that just doesn’t feel very cinematic. I do think this material wouldn’t quite work as a play but I think maybe someone more experienced with film language could’ve injected a bit more life into this.

[@redmangoose182]

You echoed my thoughts. I couldn’t buy into any sort of romantic tension between the two. It felt hollow. It has all the right to be subtle, but it kinda missed the mark by underserving the characters. In The Mood for Love achieves what this movie didn’t for me.

[@rana-rq8on]

(I'm an Asian immigrant as well) and I felt exactly the same way you did about this movie. Just flat. It didn't live up to the hype. Thanks for saying this

[@moistmike]

So excited for this movie when I saw the trailer, but felt underwhelmed after watching it. Felt something in the movie was missing and this video did a great job articulating why I didn't love it

[@hkmrsrg1367]

I enjoyed it but it definitely felt lacking to me. Good but not as good as people put it out to be. Like you said, it's "undercooked". It feels to me like a lot of raw material for food and they're high quality raw materials but together, they're not cooked in a way that makes it more than the sum of its parts.

[@EleanorGrey13]

I think I loved this film exactly because it felt incomplete, like it was missing something. I think that was sort of the point? We’re not supposed to feel fulfilled by it or satisfied by the end. I think about the cinematography constantly showing us details and the landscape, building up this atmosphere throughout the film so it felt like a tangible world. My take from the film was its realism, both visually and narratively. There’s a sort of emptiness to it, like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle, that imitates the similar feeling of reality. It doesn’t all fit together perfectly like a story, because it isn’t supposed to feel like a story, it’s supposed to feel real. At least, it felt real to me.

[@shifty220]

Without my own personal projection onto the movie I felt I would not have enjoyed the movie as much as I did, particularly the last 5 minutes of the movie that particularly resonated with me and took it from a meh decent film to something that quite connected with me, so understand why others thought it didn't live up to the hype and agree that the concept was much stronger than the execution. On the themes of cultural identity, I thought Retour à Séoul did a far better job with a much more fleshed out character journey

[@danielclayton6772]

Past lives was my favourite film of 2023, and I sure about 40 films from last year for reference. I thought the film was perfect in every aspect from direction to acting to screenplay to themes. I don’t have any personal connection to the film as I am a 20 year old British man and romance movies are not my usual type of film, I just think it was genuinely the best made best acted, directed, written film of the year. I get it may not be everyone’s favourite film of the year but it is mine.

[@pandycious]

Completely agree.

[@aliveasalways]

Oh yeah, I was totally caught off guard when she cried at the end, as I couldn't understand where that was coming from, considering how detached she seemed about the whole experience since day one...

[@renee6066]

Because she was holding back based on what is right and what is real. That's what adults do

[@MaRyaYTOfficial]

I really loved the subtlety in this movie and found that most of the information being delivered through conversation felt very grounded. That is most times how you learn about people. If anything I wished we were able to learn more about hae-sung, but I feel the restraint is meant to make you feel as distant as Nora and Hae-sung are since the film is more from Nora's point of view- but since it does take time to visit have-sung at home I think his military experience or even his engineering work could've been a highlight. The blocking also creates that feeling of distance even when the two are near each other, especially when her husband is there. I feel like distance is a huge theme in this movie, emotional, physical maybe even distance of perception. I watched la-la-land right after this, and I think that's a good example of how you become invested more in the story and the desires of the characters when you know more about both of them and how they're wants and needs fall out of sync. I also felt like Nora's conflict mostly hit at the end, because I realized that after knowing herself and her home and her place for so long, whether he meant to or not hae-sung knocked her off her feet abit. I feel like we could've seen this more but im also fine with what the movie did, because like life sometimes you cry and move on- however maybe seeing the effects of hae-sungs visit would've furthered this effect. ehhh idk the movie just works, its so real that to want these extra narrative bits doesn't mean it would serve the film

[@jerry.cray_II]

Perfectly articulated my thoughts from beginning to end, including acknowledging that it is still a good film that resonated with a lot of people. Very well done, man.

[@taylornewman9561]

This totally helped me understand why I didn’t like the film as much as I thought I should have. Thanks for the in depth look that really lays out some of the flaws of a overall good movie.

[@DocVancouver]

1 remember seeing the trailer for this last year and I knew this was gonna be intense. This film resonates with me so much so that I had to pause it a few times as I was so emotional and crying. The themes of this film intersects with so many of my own experiences not just as an immigrant but the long distance thingy and longing for an almost impossible love. I say almost coz any of the characters can choose a different ending instead we see how the push and pull of fate and free will. So profound. As a filmmaker and actor myself, this is a gift - so grateful for this masterpiece ❤

[@emmaloorose]

this movie made me think a lot. it was so subtle but personally with the relationship dynamics i really felt for and resonated with the characters. i think the undertones and subtext was rly refreshing since it just made me wanna get in their brains and think abt everything so much. i like that it wasn’t explicitly defined. it’s a movie i could rewatch a million times and notice something new every time.

[@justaname999]

As someone who can identify with this situation in some ways, I appreciated the fact that there was no "longing" for your home culture as the main component. Even if she didn't fit in initially, she grew up not between two worlds but mostly identified through her career goals and what that means for her as a creative person. Even the fact that it is somewhat tacitly expected of Korean Americans (and other hyphenated nationals of all sorts) to *want* to explore that side of themselves is something so painfully real and ultimately completely unfair. Obviously we are all shaped by our origins but it is also completely ok when a person is not mourning the lost connection. The fact that her "what could have been" past relationship is a person still rooted in her home country brings that dual identity into play but it is precisely that mismatch between what she actually felt as opposed what audiences (and people in her life) expect she *should* be feeling that is interesting. I am a child of a mother who was an immigrant in my father's country and then they were immigrants in the country I grew up in. My husband has a similarly mixed background. And we both happen to speak at least three languages at a native level and have sort of kept "connections" to our ancestral roots through education and relatives. But now that we both live in yet another country that has nothing to do with the 5 countries that are in our background, that background is there and it will have an effect but it is not the central theme of our lives, nor our children's lives. We both had those experiences of having deep connections with friends in our "past lives" and knowing that there will be that painful break where, if we choose to live somewhere else, we won't be able to have a "full" relationship with them in the future and that sort of not fully lived-out feeling or relationship is very interesting in and of itself, even if a person is fully content in their "new" culture and somewhat divorced from their old one.

[@Silverbirchleaf]

I saw it in the cinema with my sister last year. She raves about it, and I just thought it was good. I felt like I missed something.

[@maxnoble9534]

You did

[@quatreunhuit]

you didn't

[@maxnoble9534]

@@quatreunhuit you’re a loser

[@RavenPH12]

You didn’t.

[@maxnoble9534]

@@RavenPH12 you’ve never been in a relationship

[@abigailnr]

I was looking forward to this movie and expected it to destroy me emotionally but nope, something was missing for me. maybe because I expected it to be such a huge romance as it was marketed.

[@simka184]

One thing that didn't really work for me was the age of the actors during the "Skype" phase. For me it was so confusing! It took me a while to understand we were suppose to believe they were on their 20s. At first I really didn't get why they were speaking about University and School. A detail, yes, but it really threw me off the movie for a while.

[@lookalivebrett]

I love the framework you established. It adds a lot for me. I still love the movie, but grounding my takeaway in something a lot less ideal or romantic does make it a little more... sad. I like what you said about inyeon falling short. I feel like the falling short is maybe a theme? But that was effective for me. I've had the long-distance relationship, the re-connection, the falling short. A kit if it resonated with me. And, just as an aside, I saw your Rush Hour video hit 1M. Congratulations! Please, keep going!

[@davadh]

I don't think this movie is just getting rave reviews for its story, it's the filmmaking. For the causal film goers, they're not going to see what's great about the filmmaking. For a first time director, this is masterful direction, someone that has a lot confidence in the way they frame and compose a shot and be able to withheld doing all the unnecessary thing. The movie may not to be your liking, but the direction is so promising for a director, it's very similar to seeing Damien Chazelle's work when he did Whiplash.

[@jackierosas9593]

A film that deals with immigration, (in a very very different way) that came out the same time as Past Lives that I couldn't help but compare because I saw them within a week of each other is Fremont. Fremont is a "quiet" film like Past Lives and deals with the isolation of the main character Donya, who was an interpreter for American soldiers in Afghanistan. She is a refugee. We see nothing of her past in Afghanistan, it mainly takes place at her home - an apartment complex in Fremont with other Afghani refugees, an Afghani restaurant she frequent, and her work - a fortune cookie factory in San Francisco. It has a distinct sense of place despite us seeing very little of the exteriors. Donya does not show much emotion, she is seemingly cold and stoic. The entire film is very deadpan and full of humor because of it. Yet, she cannot sleep and wants to get sleeping pills because of it. She even meets a psychiatrist in order to get pills but she doesn't want to talk to him. She acts as if what happened in Afghanistan did not affect her, when it's clear it did. I think this is where I had a problem with Past Lives. It's fine if what a character says is not what they mean. Nora seems similar to Donya in her coldness and how what she says may not line up with her actions. But with Nora, it doesn't feel like it clicks as much for the reasons you say. The characters in Fremont also feel so alive. Her coworker Fran, her boss and his wife, her friend from the apartment complex, her shrink, the old waiter at the restaurant, and the mechanic. These are a lot of side characters but they each have a moment to shine and feel like they have their own lives and worries. The last part of the film is like a vignette, it could've been a short film in itself and it would've been beautiful without what came before it, yet it's made richer because of it. All the characters in Past Lives felt hollow for me. I wanted more. The part I liked the most were the Skype scenes, they felt the most authentic and sweet because it was the simple pleasure of conversation. I couldn't help but be a little peeved because Past Lives got so much attention and Fremont received barely a morsel. They have similarities and I guess it's a bit unfair to compare them but there should've been room for both. And after seeing many of the films that were heralded for Oscar buzz, I still place Fremont amongst my Top Five films of the Year.

[@anishsawan6496]

Honestly, *THIS* You explained so well why i liked the movie but didn't connect to it.

[@JERSEYBOYPLAY2HARD]

Fun fact the guy that Arthur is based off is the guy who wrote 'Challengers"

[@lexisbusy]

To me I enjoyed this film to a certain extent, it was great in resonating with my personal experience, the “so near yet so far” feeling with xx person. Its kind of weird but my relationship with this person is soo close yet so distant, we met in high school but didn’t talk for too long since he was 2 years older and graduated first, fast forward 6 years later, which is last year, he contacted me again when he has just debuted as a celebrity. We were talking about our future, and the possibility of OUR future, but because both of us are really ambitious, we’d decided not to date or feel attached but instead (potentially) get together in a couple years from now after we’ve fulfilled our dreams. This personal story made me feel a connection with this film, so so so much waiting yet i would never know whether i’d actually end up with this person. It made me anticipate for my future, it’s like I don’t mind meeting my future partner even if it isn’t him, but it’ll be really painful at the same time, because there was already a connection established. Love is scary and painful sometimes. On the contrary, yes I agree that this movie could be pretty vague in terms of showing stages of the personas’ lives, i didn’t feel 100% satisfied when watching this. But I actually feel like this push and pull feeling is very well executed due to how “brief” this movie is, it brings us to a scary guessing game, and makes us feel like we’re missing something. Hence, even though we might not enjoy this part of the movie, it’s also made this movie. Just like accepting our fate & awkward tension, in a way we gotta accept this movie for how imperfect it is.

[@jennarollan211]

I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I really tried liking it, and I also do love slow movies, but something felt missing. I did like the idea, writing, and cinematography tho

[@jasonchan6238]

Thanks for your honest opinion. I felt the same as you.

[@jereMINO14697]

I really really love the movie. I’m living in a country that no matter how long you stay you will always be seen as “the foreigner” I’m starting to loose fluency in my mother language but I still having troubles communicating with the locals, I don’t belong to my country or my town anymore but I don’t belong here either. And in the middle of that among other things I meet someone who showed me one kind of love that I never experienced, something that feels like a movie, a childish love with an adult vision. But I had to choose between the love that I know that is secure, charming and stable or the love that brings joy to my days and push me to new limits but that so far I don’t have idea how can evolve and if it can work for a long term. I have to make the decision that make wonder when I became an adult. The fact that the movie doesn’t focus in the themes that we are expecting to connect is what makes me feel that big connection, cause in my day to day life rarely I feel that something is changing or that I’m focusing in only one thing, usually I’m moving through awkward situations and even sometimes I realize that my goals are changing from one moment to another. The “laziness” of the story with the Beaty of the images put me in a state of familiarity that is hard to explain.

[@littlecookie2156]

I am so happy to find someone that has the same opinion about the film! I agree with everything you said but want to add that it was also super emotioneless which is really strange with such a story. I am a very sentimental person so I was fully ready to cry watching the movie but ended up being super dissapointed. I have no problems with the actors, I think they did great but the overall tone of the movie, the direction and perfomances turned out to be super cold, in my opinion. There is no conflict, no longing, no passion. Main characters have no chemistry and no story, no past together to long for. I understand what the director was going for but feel like she achieved nothing with it.

[@pandycious]

I had the complete opposite experience 😂. Just because you didn't perceive it doesn't mean it isn't there. To me, every scene felt emotional because there was SO much tension. I felt how much each character was trying to hold back their feelings, yet they all are obviously longing for something, whether its a person or the roads not taken. They could have just been these emotional messes, but they actively chose to act like adults & priorities the emotions of others, and that was so powerful to me. It was so beautiful to watch. I guess you just like more melodramatic stuff, and there is nothing wrong with that. But yeah, if you were expecting grand declarations of love & other romcom tropes, this is not for you.

[@zanifriz489]

My thoughts exactly. And I think Teo Yoo gave a better performance than Greta Lee.

[@vincentbatten4686]

I was planning to watch this movie today, and I still will if given time to, but I think one of the things that has held me back is that 5 Centimeters Per Second and Everything Everywhere All At Once have told this story so well already. Those are two of my favorite movies though, so maybe there is something to this. From the trailer I saw this sort of Tabula Rasa kinda thing in the expression of the main character that really drew me in. When you are pulled in so many directions I feel like you get this sort of blank feeling like you are pulled into an existential purgatory, and I want to know how long a movie can string that along and still be compelling.

[@pandycious]

Dude, Past Lives is nothing like those movies you mentioned. 😂

[@trao1938]

Thank you for putting into words everything I feel about this movie. I'm baffled by those who consider it a masterpiece. I was SO prepared to LOVE this film. But after two viewings, I found it to be an impressive directorial debut from Song, nicely filmed, and easy to watch. However, I wasn't gripped by the story in the way I wanted to be, and most likely because its central character, Nora seems so emotionally ambivalent about everything going on in her life. I found it difficult to be more invested in her story than she is. I thought Teo Yoo's performance was absolutely sublime. But then, Hae Sung's character arc is also laid out better. We know what he wants, and what he's desperately fighting for, even if we already know that it can't ever be. Nora, on the other hand doesn't seem to desire Hae Sung, but rather the feeling of being simultaneously desired by Hae Sung and her husband. Both guys have placed her up on a very high pedestal, which is exactly how she likes it.

[@jennyrodriguez811]

I definitely agree, and the moments that evoked the supposed longing came from her husband, she didn't voice it at any time and in the end when she walks back to her apartment the director had to place sad music, like she didn't trust her audience to get it. But as usual, this movie touches people very differently all over. I also didn't love how they were filmed from a distance in certain scenes.

[@jennifer5512]

While I was moved by the film, this was a really thoughtful and comprehensive critique. Great work!

[@ephemeral_arts]

I think that there is something to be said for the feeling of not knowing, of exploring that sense of unknown about yourself to discover that you knew all along. I related to Nora's sense that maybe she had something to feel that hadn't been felt and to explore what is unable to be suppressed, I think that's why for me Past Lives shone so brightly.

[@kimaya4503]

The film was well done all almost all levels but I did wind up feeling disappointed and underwhelmed at how predictable and tame it felt in the end. The performances were great, I loved the cinematography, the balance of the language barriers, commentary on immigration. But it was so so underwhelming, dramaturgically. Emotional maturity and nuance is great, but it also kind of makes you wonder how big of a deal can it be to the characters if they ALL have such a great idea of how to work through it and cope? Nora read as indifferent, like her decisions felt too influenced by the two lovers and not fully her own. The end felt so predetermined that it could never feel satisfying. Nora never seemed conflicted, internally. Only externally. Agree with these points 1000%

[@pandycious]

Its funny how different people interpret performances. To me, Nora seems so conflicted. It looked like she was trying very hard to not show her emotions but you can tell that she was holding it back in every scene. There was so much tension, it was like she was longing for a life that she might have had. That's was why the last scene was so cathartic. She was FINALLY able to let it all out after holding it all in for the whole movie. Such a nuanced performance by Greta Lee.

[@misun776]

i would recommend rice boy sleeps, it’s about a mother and a son immigrant from Korea to Canada and just about his childhood and the mother’s struggles

[@Mario-xf4wy]

I can appreciate a well thought out argument that does not align with my interpretation of the movie. Personally I believe that the movie depends a lot on your life experience. I recently migrated to the US after developing an entire life in my country and it’s been difficult and confusing to say the least. It’s been only a year and I cannot tell you the amount of “what ifs” that have crossed my mind and the feeling of craving for belonging that seems to grow more everyday. I am still connected to my very best friends and my parents, but that is it, so I recently recommended them the movie as I thought they would feel touched by it too. I was genuinely surprised when I realized that none of them saw what I saw in the movie, they commented on the love story and the almost deterministic tones of the movie, but that was it. As for what we see in the movie, I don’t really know if I agree with their relationship being almost like shallow, since it seems like she does hold back some of her thoughts and emotions towards Hae Sung when speaking John, but precisely out of respect for her marriage with him. They knew each other and clearly their relationship meant a lot to both of them, it was painful for them to say goodbye, end things virtually, even a bit awkward to start other relationships. At the same time I believe the movie did a good job at showing how their relationship was growing and it was beyond just “childhood friends” but only doing it via snippets and such, otherwise the entire movie would’ve been just them talking over Skype and such. Nonetheless I really do appreciate your review and commentary, it makes me realize why other people have such a different view on the movie. Amazing job!

[@AlexA-jm3qj]

Really appreciate this perspective and analysis, which mirrors my own. I didn't dislike this movie by any means, but I felt disappointed that it didn't meet my expectations (which were, to be fair, pretty high). The story felt underdeveloped, especially in establishing the connection between Nora and Hae Sung, so I didn't feel convinced of the special nature of their relationship and that it could transcend time. I agree that Nora's character felt more like what the two male characters projected onto her rather than being fleshed out. And that may have been by design, but I don't think it worked for a film that was already so introspective and dependent on its characters (who are the anchors of the film). The lack of tension also made it fall flat for me; Nora never seems challenged in her views about America being the pinnacle of success, in whether she will rekindle the flame with Hae Sung, or in whether her parents made the right choice by coming to America. And though I can't directly relate to the experiences of the Korean diaspora, I feel like a movie shouldn't require that I directly relate to it for it to resonate and to move me, which it sadly didn't.

[@monday8585]

i'm not gonna argue on the comments about the story or theme. it dosn't have to be about that, even if past lives didn't mean anything or barely had anything, the visuals and the mood is fresh and enjoyable enough how much this makes normal everyday nothing life can be beautiful and that is enough reason why this is good.

[@divinesolstice3744]

This gives me an idea for a different movie with a similar setup, but it ends in everyone becoming best friends at the end

[@quocanhnguyen7275]

YOoo my Vietnamese brother!!! Big fan of your work!

[@steve.santiago]

Nice video. I am not sure how old you are but if I may be so bold as to respectfully suggest that I think that if you visit this movie later in life, maybe after you’ve lived a little more, you will see this movie quite differently.

[@naiyang888]

Kids do not have enough life experience to reflect yet. They will eventually get there.

[@stephcoffey7282]

this was really well done. I also felt luke warm on Past Lives but wanted to love it so much. The Before Series are also some of my favourite films and I was so excited to see Song's Korean Diaspora take on this type of film but I left the theatre wanting. I agree the film was missing nuance or depth that would make me truly care about these characters and their plight. it didn't have to be full on drama but just more specificity. What's interesting about your essay is that it did actually make me think more about Nora and her motivations and made me like more what Song was trying to do. I think it brings up a very interesting debate of can we have self actualized characters and still create the tension needed for storytelling? How would an effective film with a character like Nora work? This is my first time on your channel looking forward to watching more!

[@LJScott1974]

Thank you for the video. I really enjoyed your commentary and analysis.

[@Chario_]

I'm kind of in a similar boat. Really wanted to love this movie, but something about it just didn't quite click for me. A few of the scenes, like the ones in the bedroom and the bar, are some of the best dialogue scenes I've seen in years, but the overall movie just felt a bit underwhelming. Hopefully I'll appreciate it more on a re-watch, but we'll see

[@originaozz]

I think the hype was too high for a romance that is just good. It's a romance about her relationship with the "self" rather with the "love interests", which makes it refreshing, but not romantic. Watching it in Asian country where people are used to romance genre did not help, since most of my friends also find it lacking. I like it a little more as an ode to first love and the version of yourself you were, but it feels lacking since their love felt more like an idea than an actual connection.

[@cherusiderea1330]

I think you put into words a lot of what I was subconsciously feeling, but couldn't have told you what it was. I was so hyped for this film and then kind of surprised when it was over bc it didn't feel like anything had happened, any "climax" or "catharsis" or arc, as you put it. And I don't mean plot, I know you don't need "plot" in order for something to happen (I think Stephen King said something about plot being the last resort for bad writing?), but I just didn't feel like we had reached any point by the end, any closure. But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe that's the point? How can there be closure when for her, and she's the main character, there's just nothing there? I dunno. For me it was just underwhelming and I don't hate the movie, I don't think it's bad, it was just something I wouldn't have gone out of my way to revisit. It left me with some degree of indifference, I think.

[@j4ckoe]

it's all so clean. no trash on nyc streets. success as working adults is a frictionless given. it's clean to the point of emptiness. romanticized fomo.

[@shidneyseldon]

I can not relate to this film but this made me emotional while watching it. I'm human with empathy, affected by a very subtle, compelling, and demurely artistic film.

[@spicytuna3216]

THANK YOU!!! I was super excited to watch this in theaters and although there were funny and even touching moments in the movie, I felt like it didn't move me that much. As a child of immigrants, I feel immense yearning and longing for my homelands and my parents are always talking about how life was in Vietnam and China. The Asian diasporic experience is so vast and we have so many rich stories to tell: refugees, war, intergenerational trauma, adoption stories, poverty, etc etc. I wish they told more of a story that I could relate to, that was heartfelt. I didn't even need to see her end up with either guy at the end of the film, I think to me it would have even been cool to see her realize that she's disconnected with a part of herself and that she misses it, maybe she books a trip to Korea to reconnect with herself again? Idk, I'm just disappointed she never put up a fight for something that's supposed to be important to her (her culture) and she and her husband even said they married for convenience, and they're just both okay with that?? She just seems so complacent to me. I love slice of life when it's done well, but this was just so frustrating to watch. Is the moral of the story that we should just let go of our ties to our ancestors, our family, our culture, just to settle for a mediocre life?? Also thank you for speaking up, I felt like I saw everyone praising this movie and raving about it online. But I didn't really feel connected to it and it's great you're opening a door for people who might be shy to share their critiques lol

[@MaytheRoseBloom]

Your remarks were nuanced and well presentend. Loved it.

[@witchplease9695]

This is how I felt about Everything Everywhere but I didn’t want to be attacked 😭

[@BrendaGarcia-ty2ml]

Same!

[@spicytuna3216]

nooooo EEAAO is what past lives wishes it could be!!!!

[@cassandral.5840]

This was such a well explained video! Didn't come off as negative at all. Love ur content ❤

[@burgessballenas9332]

I really thought Nora and Hae Sung would end up together but as the movie went on I asked myself 'and the what?' What do they after? They get together, she leaves her husband and does Hae Sung stay in NY or dos she go back to South Korea? I then thought that this movie might be Hae Sung trying to win Nora over but he realizes that he either doesn't have a chance or that they can't actually be together as the reality of situations won't allow it. This movie really hit me but I can't describe it as I grew up in the IS after immigrating there when I was 9. I never had problems adjusting nor did I question my identity, I accepted who I was and I guess it was because I didn't look much like my nationality and that English was my most spoken language even though it was my second language. The thoughts what could have been and maybe it would be like this plague Nora and Hae Sung. With Arthur remarking he'd be the bad guy if it was a different story also hits strong in that that's how asian dramas tend to go with.

[@ReedJacobs]

I was happy to migrate from my country but as I’m an adult I think about the life I could’ve had if I didn’t. You don’t need to be unhappy with moving to another country to miss the friends, the food, the toys, the buildings from the country you were born in

[@angieg9105]

Thank you, you discussed the exact words in my head😢

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

I enjoyed the film & the themes of the choices you make in your life felt reminiscent of a show I watched last year (Fleishman Is in Trouble). That said, I completely agree with your assessment which is why I don’t see Past Lives as a love story or love triangle story…perhaps that’s why I was able to enjoy the story more.

[@notinblacknwhite]

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s a movie that resonates and sticks with everyone, but I love its exploration of “fate” and human lives. Honestly as someone who liked and was touched by this movie after watching it, my conclusion in a short review for a friend was that it was not necessary something that if you did not watch, you would miss out or lose something so important. That said, the one thing that really draws me to this movie, I did not see covered much in your discussion. While I agreed with many things you discussed in this video, most of them did not put me off or bother me about this film. But you only briefly mentioned Inyun in the video, mostly as something that the characters talked about. Yet, to me, this is something that sort of makes it stand out from so many other movies that also builds on concepts of alternative lives/universes and “fate”. I may think too much about what fate could mean (outside of the dictionary definition) and how it manifests and interacts in life, so recent movies like EEAAO or even Spiderverse hurt me slightly in that I feel like they still emphasize too much the self-determined will and power of the individual, in the way it place individual will against “fate” (or just generally a common pattern that they need to break out of). Honestly I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that, especially in such stories, where it’s more reasonable to highlight the power to defy “fate”, sort of inspiring in a way. But it’s been the dominating narrative I feel, and I would like to see something that is a bit more …realistic I guess. I’ve been putting “fate” in quotation, just cuz I usually interprets it as something random and possibly out of the control of a limited human, rather than something “pre-written”. This is because I’m also tired of a very common narrative in Asian stories as well: pre-written destiny, things are “meant to be”. Past Lives, in how I see it, definitely does not downplay the significance of the human’s will and their capability to make a decision for themselves, but at the same time, does not try to deny this overarching randomness, uncontrollability of life (which include other people), for lack of better words. Inyun basically said how your current life is going is a result of what has happened and what you’ve done in the past lives. On one hand, it’s just not all “written-in-stone” stuff, there are human decision factors at play here that spans from one lifetime to the next. On the other hand, are you really in control of what you’ve done in previous incarnations, or of what other people have done in past and current lives that together with your decisions, led all of you to this place, today? In a sense, I just appreciate that the concept of “fate” has been re-contextualised in a story that does not progress based on the “Human ‘free will’ against destiny” narrative. I know not everyone will resonate with this message (so I don’t think everyone like, needs to see and love this movie), but I do, and I love that this movie has been made the way it is. I think Like Stories Of Old’s elaborates much better on this aspect of the movie in his video (2023’s Most Beautiful Movie About Love). I was actually a bit surprised when a comment on your video mentioned how many Asians criticized this movie for its bias towards liberal-western culture. It never struck me that the story is trying to say that Nora is better off choosing the American over Korean specifically because Western values are better or more progressive or that Asian culture in general is behind (Only that Haesung is sort of behind in his own life). If anything, I think that the balanced look about human power and the larger life is very much non-liberal as it does not put so much emphasis on individual’s will power, therefore on individual responsibility. But well I could be wrong about this. On another note, as I am not an immigrant, I don’t really relate to the immigrant stories in the movie, but I do relate to the more generalised story about decisions and contemplation in the movie. I think some other comments also touch on this, and I thinks that the face that Nora doesn’t seem to yearn for Haesung or her past in the third sections, is because, for the whole time, she’s still contemplating about it. Her interactions with Haesung and Arthur would inspire a lot of the contemplation and rumination about what she had, what she chose, what she could have, and what she’s having, which ultimately culminates in the final realisation of loss that she was not aware of, and also of things that she did not know she’s still holding on to. While I usually think I should not regret (or regret too much) about past decisions, cuz I’ll never know how it would have turned out had I chosen differently, for better or worse, in the short and long term. Yet, it’s exactly because I can never know, that’s why I keep contemplating, ruminating, grieving. At the end of the day, I just have to learn to appreciate and be at peace with the life we have, while maintaining the awareness that whatever we have now is the result of our decisions and also the randomness, uncontrollability of life and other people. At the end of the day, I think another comment on this video encapsulate the issue really well, it’s a very personal movie that will looks different depends on the subjective judgement of each viewer, and will also reveal something about the viewer through their subjective judgement. Definitely it’s not gonna stick with everyone, but the fun thing is to share and be shared all these different opinions about it I guess.

[@aliveasalways]

Did you watch the trailer before watching the film? When I saw the trailer, I was quickly intrigued, as I thought we would explore having the Hae Sung character stay in their lives longer than he did. A world in which Arthur would have to live with this ex-lover of his wife be in close proximity to them for a while, and maybe a will they/won't they tension among the audience that will only be revealed in the last scene. Of course, it would've been a completely different story, but I feel like Arthur's and Hae Sung's characters would be portrayed more deeply in that version, if that is what we want to focus on.

[@josiefischer9359]

U described my disappointment with this movie so we’ll. Although I think it’s a great directorial debut I totally agree with feeling disconnected with the characters and feeling like they’re relationship is one sided too.

[@ilai7893]

Agreed with the three-part plot that could've been written for this movie, it would have added more stakes to the ending. That being said, it was still beautiful as it is

[@TanyaUrrutia]

I grew up in a different country than I do live now and being back with my family is a dissonance, like I have a whole other life in that country. It is very hard to explain, but the movie captured it perfectly and did in a very subtle way. It wasn't about "making it" in the other country, it's about how the people in your childhood country know you differently than you are now. Sometimes you flirt with going back to that and when you put on that costume it feels sooo good, but it's in the past. What this film also does is capture the realism, like that horrible Skype connection in 2008 or the way that american men really are less serious (cut to Arthur playing videogames). I don't know about your circumstances, but perhaps you have not had a complete change of culture in your life and you were trying to attach too much meaning to the "love" story. It was never about the love, it's the mourning of a *life* that could've been.

[@amirleo2051]

Finally someone understood me

[@zackwilson8701]

This is a beautiful essay! I disagree with your argument, but also love your suggestions to further improve the film. More time in Korea and more character development when they reunite in their 20s would only serve to deepen the movie -- agreed. That said, I think it's okay that it's not quite a love story, or that there isn't an acute, fully-fleshed out conflict. Refreshing, even. I think for some people, assimilating to the dominant culture is traumatic, whereas for others, it's . . . a bit confusing, but it can sit on the backburner, unexplored. Nora's like that, and I think that exploring how her coldness is a consequence of having to leave her old country, identity, and, yes, first love behind is pretty fascinating. It makes sense though, how it could leave some viewers feeling cold, and that's valid. I do personally feel that as I get older and leave people and places behind, a sort of emptiness can take root in you, being apart from the people you love. Nowhere you ever go feels quite like home because there isn't a single place where everyone you love resides. There's a loneliness there - not even a what if - that I think this film really embodies. Nora knows what she can't have and can't go back to, and even if she accepts it, it will always sort of hurt. But it will also be okay.

[@robertbishop5440]

Yeah i also feel out of the loop. I pretty much understood how a story like this could play out, so i was hoping something would surprise me or id fall in love with the characters....but i felt nothing. I guess it just wasnt a movie for me. Its very well made though so im glad people got something out of it.

[@AriD2385]

Your review resonates with me. I think the film clearly wants to communicate certain ideas to the audience, especially regarding the persistence of connection and the immigrant experience. But the film does not develop those themes convincingly in the experience of the characters. In fact, it seems to go out of its way to undermine that at times. Hae Sung and Nora’s friendship never seems to be that deep, and their goodbyes as young people are unceremonious. Nora has a connection to Korea, of course, but she is never portrayed as being at all conflicted in her identity nor nostalgic for Korea. Rather, she consistently expresses the opposite sentiment. Her first response to Hae Sung suggesting she come to Seoul is “Why would I do that?” So the film continually tells us what it wants us to think about, but in a way that is disconnected from what the main character is thinking and feeling. So much of the extended dialogue about “inyeon” as well as the rehearsal scene about being an immigrant feels like the film trying to explain itself, since the audience would not draw those conclusions from the characters themselves. Not a bad film though. I appreciated the maturity of the characters’ restraint. Though, for the reasons above, it’s not always clear whether they are mature or their connection is simply weak. The film very much wants us to believe the former; but their relationship needed to be developed more to make that convincing.

[@EricdelaRicefarm]

Nora’s scene at the audition I believe ties to the end of the movie when she’s crying with her husband bc her “toll” to “immigrate” where she wants to be was giving up her love with hae sung

[@NowShowingTTV]

Thank you for this video. Perfectly encapsulates my issues with the film - specifically the "romance" angle that didn't work for me at all. Like you said, we barely know anything about Hae Sung beyond the fact that he was in the military and he loves Nora.

[@abhayglal]

To me, the lack of development in Hae Sung’s character was kind of intentional. That sounds like a cop out, but the reason I find it purposeful is because of the bathroom scene at the start of Act 3. Even Nora can’t describe him properly without the word “Korean”. Hae Sung’s lack of intrinsic character traits (compared to the clear statement of Arthur’s) kind of makes him more like a representation of Nora’s traits than a person in and of himself. Her connection with Korea, her childhood, the crying kid after tests, Nora’s lust for Hae-Sung is actually just a lust for parts of Nora’s personality that she’s outgrown or left behind. But that’s exactly why they don’t get together in the end. It’s a movie about change just as it is about romance, and Nora’s choice to move on isn’t just a choice to leave Hae-Sung, it’s a choice to be content with the woman she is rather than the girl she used to be.

[@NowShowingTTV]

@@abhayglal Hmm. That's an interesting takeaway. Thanks for replying with it. :)

[@adezzyade]

Really interesting perspective. I think the disconnect you have is like you said the movie requires you to fill in the gaps the film alludes to and doesn’t overtly show the audience. Because this movie doesn’t have a dense narrative, a lack of bridged emotions in subtext can leave a viewer feeling like the movie was hollow so I think you’re not wrong in your analysis if that’s your experience. I have a similar relationship with The Zone of Interest which plays it’s full hand into subtlely. The issue is, the foundation being placed on subtlety along with a thin story and characters you can’t connect to lost me about half way in the run time because it wasn’t building to anything. Long story short, you did well in articulating your draw backs from the film and it comes down to preference and how much baggage you brought into the film. As for me, I think Past Lives is a modern classic because I brought a TON of baggage 🤣