The narcissist adult child, and the guilt ridden parent

[@dimondsjewls4236]

I appreciate this so much, it is the truth. Yes adult children will try to hold you hostage, by trying to guilt you! Forgive yourself, forgive them and just keep MOVING!!!

[@debbiecurtis4021]

Once my narcissist son is 18 I'll go no contact. I will leave him money in my will, but I'm sick of his aggressive nature, selfishness, lack of empathy, and deliberate ignorance.

[@carmelliahairston8599]

I so feel this. Mine is 36, and I'm so over it!

[@FunLifeTransform]

I moved to NC when my son turned 22 to take a job away from Chicago. I hoped he would mature but he only got worse. For the next twenty years, he would tell me that his friends thought I was crazy, that no one liked me, when he visited my office where I was a Director - he asked "Wow - these people actually like you". Always put downs and attacks on my character and mental health. I tried for years to get him back to therapy before he was 18. After my granddaughter was born he and his ex both would talk to me like I was some sort of mentally retarded, derelict which baffled me. I am literally the only one college educated making $200k, highly respected in tech and always helping others mentoring, volunteer to train kids aging out of foster care. My son is 41 yrs old - he never checked on me during Covid, birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. My son pulled me down so far I was suicidal for a few years. Videos like this one opened my eyes that it is not me and that I had to cut him off.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

​​@@FunLifeTransform very sad A person who hurts his parents will always be afflicted with calamity and be deprived of happiness You didn't abuse or neglect him growing up did you?

[@cclovesdaisy]

This is my story, my adult son fully embraces his narcissism inherited from his father and parental alienation. His last silence treatment has now lasted three years, each silent treatment lasts longer than the last one. This last silent treatment was triggered by refusing to give him (he's 30!) any more money. My other adult child is nothing like him, was not subjected to parental alienation by her father (different father). She couldn't bear to hurt me, is compassionate, respectful, kind and fun. Losing my son has been a journey of grief and personal awakening. Thank you Dr. Carmen, I have forgiven myself and will no longer be manipulated by his guilt trips. His loss big time!!

[@OlBlueshound]

Great video and perspective thank you I needed to hear this. My dear Mum and Dad told me many times how my / our kids were so lucky and had wonderful lives and opportunities. My son 33 and daughter now 36 thought they were hard done by and had terrible lives compared to their well off friends. My son to this day talks to me like I am his child and last year I'd had enough, so I decided I would no longer invest my love care or time in a non reciprocal relationship and he's gone. I love being free of his shit and can now focus on my life. It does hurt but I'm happy I'm free of him. Sad huh.

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

Very sad They project their unhappiness onto you and bleed on you

[@mblake4007]

Thank you so so so much 😢 oh my God I feel so relieved ❤❤❤

[@kellyw.8120]

I really needed to hear this. My narcissist adult daughter just moved out while I was at work. She lost her job and I let her move back home to get back on her feet and save up some money until she finds another place. During this time, I got her car repo and never charged her for anything while she was staying here. She accused me of being a horrible parent when she was little. I miss things were rough when she was little, but I did the best I could with no help. Once I moved back home and got on my feet I made a better life for her and was always there for her when she needed me. But she won’t let go of the earlier years despite everything that I’ve done. Her younger sister excelled in life and busted her butt to get her masters and have a good life. my oldest daughter is jealous of that and says I did more for her sister than for her. She refuses to see how hard her sister worked to get where she at. She moved out and said that she will go no contact. It hurts deeply.

[@natashaduncan2112]

Wow i’m dealing with a very very similar situation.. But yesterday was the final straw for me!! Boundaries and a Good Buy!!! NO MORE Guilt tripping and gaslighting me..She has made her bed hard time and time again and i came to her rescue,no more😢

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

She'll come back around when she matures don't worry and sees how hard life is without motherly advice

[@Len-c6h]

hi this is Sherell and I am viewing you living in Seattle Washington and I thank you for correcting me and giving me permission to forgive myself, I needed to hear that thank you very much this subject is not talked about enough on youtube thank you.

[@staceycook6404]

Thank you thank you !! I’ve gone thru hell with my 23 yr old nars daughter , the abuse is unreal , yes I’ve made a few mistakes that I’ve owned I’ve never abused her yes did to much for her , what parent is perfect and your right its their decision to forgive and take responsibility for their lives , I had to cut ties for my sanity and be their for my other children who do want love and actually reciprocate it ,

[@donsalice8527]

This has helped me so much! Thank you Doctor!

[@goldenwriter5089]

Let go. Leave them in God's hands.

[@latterrain09]

Unfortunately letting go is besr for your sake. You can only heal if you have peace. There is no such thing any where near a narcissist. It will be a constant push pull. I know from personal experience. And I am truly sorry for your grief.

[@annetteslaughter366]

Thank you ❤️

[@rgrateful]

This is my Mom and my npd sister. My mom is codependent with my younger sister after my father passed. My mom has npd tendencies. My sister is full blown npd. My mom is so ill (hospice)and changed the trust to be given 100% to my npd sister. Im relieved that my mom did this because I do not want a nightmare w my npd sister after my moms passing. My npd sister has been in jail 2x, never has worked, is 100 % dependent on my mom for her car and insurance. My npd sister lost custody of her daughter. I can go on. She lies and manipulates to get her way and also throws adult tantrums if she doesnt get her way....scraming on the floor. My sister and I love my mom and sister but will never tolerate my npd sisters behavior. My mom insists that we forgive my npd sister and made mends. My sister and I said No, so my mom took me and my sister off the inheritance 2 days ago. My npd sister 45 yrs.old can do no wrong in my sisters eyes. I cant even visit my mom alone or I get triangulated by my both of them. My mom asked that we talk to a priest. My mom even said that if we are christians we would forgive her. We do forgive her but we are so exhausted of all the games. Please keep me in prayer. My mom is in hospice and my heart hurts. I only go to visit my mom accompanied by 2 of her friends that she respects. Any advice? 😢

[@AbdullahHashi-kw3qj]

Be there for your mum till the end but only visit when your crazy sister is not around You biggest responsibility is towards your own children and family and that you make sure any dysfunctions in the family don't get passed down, that's the best you can do Wish your sister well but don't let her bring problems to your life, some ppl are just self destructive and haven't disciplined their souls I feel very bad for the children she lost to cpr, many of those kids don't end up in a good place

[@thekellers5041]

I deeply regret the 🚩I missed which led me to having children with a malignant pathological narcissist. We all suffered his abuse. But I am also the one who got us all free the moment I gained the education necessary to recognize what he was. Every time the guilt creeps in for the mistakes I made(in partnering up with a narcissist--when everyone said I had to provide a unified front as a parent🤦🏼‍♀️) I have to let that go and remind myself of the joy and pride of accomplishment of getting us free. Nobody except me knows how terrifying difficult and financially and emotionally crushing That decision was to make and to accomplish!!!!!!!!

[@bajanbliss]

My boyfriend's adult daughter who us nearly 30 has started stealing from me. She even went as far as replacing the cleaning products with water. She has a key to her father's bedroom which I use when I go by his house. He still lives with his mother. Don't know what to do

[@goodmandawn]

I agree.

[@jayjay1443]

Parents: It's not your fault if you have done all you have tried to do to be patient, or help your adult children and they have no changed, it's because they have a personality disorder. They will never change. The only thing you need to do is put them out and let them make a life for themselves out there.

[@siciliangypsy4758]

Are you a true doctor? An MD?

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

ED.D.

[@WeisseEdelweiss]

The parent that apologizes yet continues to be a problem with zero change is the problem. Your children owe you nothing.

[@joanndeck4315]

And when the children are adults we don’t owe them anything either….enough of the entitled generation

[@Dispicablecountry]

You're a beautiful and intelligent person ❤️