Narcissist adult children and relationships with their parents

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[@kingsoren2010]

my son told me I was dead to him, I told him...SO BE IT !! No contact with his mess for eight months now and I'm doing fine. I love my child, I pray for him but I don't need him.

[@beverleymeaney8162]

Wow,so has my daughter said; the same thing to me,,so I'm giving her no mother, it's been 10 mths now,know drama but I can't see my grandchildren that's so heartbreaking,I'm getting older & you can't get back yesterday.🙏🙏🙏

[@shotofteehoney]

@Jasmine2020 this was me too. I’m doing great w/o his constant issues in my life. 🤷🏽‍♀️💋💨

[@shotofteehoney]

@@beverleymeaney8162 so sorry she abusing you however live your life. Put you first probably for the first time ever. You deserve it!💋💨

[@kshine2974]

Im going thru the same thing with my son. I could not take it anymore! It was the hardest decision I ever made to cut the cord.

[@bigmamaliving6767]

Was that hard for you to do I have two sons and single parent they always accuse me of drinking.

[@jrelevates1574]

Parenthood is like a job I once had..... It took me a long time, but I don't really want people in my life that don't have empathy or compassion. No matter who they are. I choose to give my energy to other humans that show love, and animals. Thank you for this video.

[@c.c.a758]

"Parenthood is like a job I once had"...WOW Guess that's me too.

[@wanderingfree149]

Praying for those who have narcassistic adult children. I cant fathom how heart breaking that must be. Sending you love!

[@SpiceyNice]

My daughter is! It’s a lifetime of heartbreak ♥️

[@SpiceyNice]

Teresa Concepcion ...I’m the only parent who never left ♥️ it doesn’t hurt like it used to

[@beverleymeaney8162]

I finally walked away , just couldn't take another day but my hearts sore, & the family is torn apart.I just want her well.

[@christinekoger1114]

@Teresa Concepcion wow I feel your pain, and I am dealing with it also

[@taratameca]

Thank you so much. 😢

[@9344music5]

"They Like To See You Hurting" It is so hard to accept this but it is the only explanation. That is why I am not chasing after them. They cut me off and I say "why would I even want to have a relationship with someone who can actually enjoy seeing me in pain."

[@suzannewing7574]

Please don't take this down! As an abandoned parent I have been searching for years for your honest insight! You have lifted my spirits! Thank you!

[@joanndavid3406]

You are not alone.

[@YahshuamySovereign]

As have I 😢

[@annharris1558]

My daughter and son are narcissists. They did the smear campaign, abused me and turned people against me. I pray God have mercy on their souls.

[@joanndavid3406]

Me too! And there's Parental Alienation involved too. It's like living a nightmare.

[@9344music5]

Same here. My daughter smeared me by saying I said sexual things to her indicating that I was actually making advances towards her. Later I saw her at the grocery store and she ignored me! Total Gaslighting me and telling others about "things I said" This is possibly the worst thing a daughter can do to her father. I am broken hearted but done. I am not going to apologize for her gaslighting. She lost more than I on several levels. I can live without that monster.

[@spartan6005]

@@9344music5she learned it in school sounds like to me the go to he touched me 😢bs

[@deucyandme]

Blackmailed me, threatened me, kept my grandkids from me, NEVER respects boundaries. UGH. SICK SICK SICK OF IT

[@theeuropeanhousewife5889]

So true and after all the narcissistic abuse in our lives we end up very empathic. This makes the whole situation worse as we love our children no matter what. Adult children are adults and need to realize that when it comes to narcissistic behaviour they need to be treated like any other abusive person. Stay away from their friends too. They have heard the smear campaign and will treat you like the worst person on earth.

[@easyartisan]

God thats so true My daughters friends make it so clear they dislike me.. They dont even know me ..and she is the one who is violent and abusive to ME!

[@SanctuaryGoodLife]

So well said .

[@ashatan4554]

Oh yes, the smear campaigns! We have experienced this since my 33 yo daughter was in her teens. She’s told so many people she was abused to get sympathy and get her way. And she tells us every boyfriend is abusive, every landlord, every boss etc.. It’s never her fault, always someone else. I’m heartbroken but I have to step away. I consider her dangerous at this point and I can foresee elder abuse later on if I keep her in my life.

[@CR-zl1px]

Thank you so much for your video. This is my adult, grown, 25 year old daughter to a T. It is abusive. I finally decided, I love her, but I love me and don't deserve her disrespect.

[@Scarab80]

Yup 27 yr old insane daughter...

[@meandu052010]

I’m in the same boat with my 25 year old daughter. Sent my son to live with his father so he won’t pick up on his sister habits

[@NickyM_0]

I am in the same position with a covert narcissistic adult child in their 20s.

[@lpn4375]

Thank you so very much for this video. It has opened my eyes. I have been so hurt by my children now Adults. I will need protect myself i am healing finally i began to do self care. 🙏

[@bagobeans]

Spot on!! Good video. Parents don't come with a playbook. We are not perfect. My parents were not perfect, but I never disrespected them the way these young people do. These young people have no respect for their parents and base what family is through social media and tv shows. Real families struggle with finances and are not promised that perfect household. These narcissist adult children are unforgiving. They turn into horrible bosses and make horrible spouses. But they blame us and fail to see the distruction they do to other's lives. They suck up your money, your resources, and delight in destroying your dignity. Say a prayer for them and move on. It's painful. But they never cared, never will. They lack empathy. Empathy, you cannot teach. ⚘ My prayers are with all the parents with these type of children. The worst is when they take your grandchild from you. But, you move on and do the best you can.

[@shotofteehoney]

Every toxic family/friend/son I had to cut out my life has bought me unexpected joy and happiness. It feels great to pt me first.💋💨

[@spenciegirl9630]

My daughter is 52…. I have tried so hard…. One child and one grandchild…. My heart breaks, but I am so done… Zero respect…

[@victoriachalita6956]

Thank you so much. I have a 16 and 17 year old who so drugs hit me pull my hair scratch my face. Abuse me. The father is also narcissistic. I had to move out of the home. I am an empath. I didn’t know this kind of evil exhisted. Hard to find support thank you again

[@valeriejacksen8474]

Thank you for making this video. My son has tortured my life

[@bigmamaliving6767]

Oh my God oh wow me to care too much love too much I messed up

[@beyondwords2909]

Mine too at the moment

[@lc-bb6bd]

My oldest daughter 35 years old smear campaigned me when she moved across the country 4 years ago. She blew up constantly before she left. She didn't have much to do with me at all for about 2years. Then when she got pregnant with her 4th child she called me pretended she wanted to reconcile. She love bombed me through her whole pregnancy. She had a motive. She wanted me to fly out and stay when she had the baby. She knew her husband wasn't going to go in the delivery room with her or help with her other children. All went well. Fast forward to 6 months later. Right back to blowing up. I went back to visit she went into full on attack. Verbal abusing me. I was at her house 3000 miles from my home. I left her house at had to stay in hotel rooms for a week while I waited for my flight. I'm totally done this time. She always puts her kids in it too. Honey she knows how to smear me. Your video was great and on point.

[@LauraVee63]

I c - I'm just reading your comment that you posted on this video from one year ago. I wanted to reply to your comment because I see similarities in your situation however I have just one child. My only daughter, 36 years old; lives 3000 miles away, is married and has two small children. She's very successful and married to a successful man who comes from a family of well means; she didn't grow up with a mother who has (or had) wealth. For as long as I can remember (from at least the age of 3, she has always acted entitled and very cruel and disrespectful to me. She's always been impressed with people who have a lot of money. From about the age of 8, I remember her being in a locked bathroom for long periods of time and I would frequently knock on the door and inquire what she was doing in there for so long. (That's just a little side note I had to add to my comment); She was an excellent student, was never into drugs or alcohol and maintained long friendships throughout her life to this day. (She was married in 2019 and 3 of her 6 bridesmaids were that of girlfriends from kindergarten). She was never molested, abused or exposed to any dangers. I raised her as a single mom for most of her life, but her biological dad was a drug addict and was physically abusive to me. I left him when she was 1-1/2 years old but she did maintain a relationship with him throughout the years, although he is anything but a good role model; if anything, she maintained this relationship because he was her dad and thought he would somehow provide support throughout various portions of her life. We are born and raised on the West Coast....when she graduated high school, she went straight to New England and earned a 4 year degree. To make a long story short, she is now an internal medicine physician on the East Coast. She's never really stayed in touch with me, only seeming to reach out as an obligatory gesture. After we had some out of the ordinary contact after the lock down, we seemed to be talking on the phone more and made plans for me to fly to meet my two new grandchildren this past June (2021) when her daughter was just 2 weeks old. This was the first time I met my grandson, born just 14 months prior. I hadn't seen her since her wedding in 2019. As you can imagine I was excited to meet my two new grandchildren, see my daughter and her husband, however after being there just 2 days I realized she hasn't changed one bit. My heart is broken during this holiday season and I needed to write and vent after seeing your comment and how similar your situation is to mine. I don't know about you, but I truly wish there were some type of groups where we all get together and talk about the heartbreaking situations we are all in. She's my only kid, I'm single and wish everything was different. She's extremely close to her in-laws; it's all very hurtful and lonely. Hope you are doing well. Thanks for your comment; I know now that I'm not alone.

[@lc-bb6bd]

@@LauraVee63 I’m so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. I definitely can relate.

[@deborah783]

After diving into what is unacceptable behavior of my only adult daughter, I have come to the conclusion she is most definitely narcissistic. I'm not sure how it all came about gradually it has become totally out of control. I have created a monster by ignoring the behavior. She as an adult would throw 2yr old temper tantrums. I made my home way too comfortable for her. She never left, she married and brought 3 beautiful children into the world all while living with me and my husband ( her step Dad ). Six months ago I asked her to find suitable housing for her and her family. I had had enough of the abuse and disrespect. It hasn't changed much of anything. She calls and yells at me, I hang up. She shows up at my house using my grandchildren as pawns. I rarely get to see them but when she starts yelling at me I show the door. I know she needs help with this mental illness. She doesn't recognize it as a problem. Why do those around her simply accept it? Here we go again or that's just how she is.

[@tictactoedias1908]

@@deborah783 stay strong, they don’t change EVER I speak from my personal experience.... good luck and wishing you strength 🙏

[@deborah783]

@@tictactoedias1908 Thank you.

[@tammyq2209]

I feel SO MUCH better now that I am no contact with my narc adult child. I no longer am being passive and recently let him know if he can't find it in himself to treat me with respect, we will not have a relationship. Love this video and the work you are doing! Thank you Dr. Bryant ! ❤👍

[@tammyq2209]

@Kerri Barclay thank you SO MUCH , Kerri. That sounds awful, but beautiful how your family has adjusted and accepted. I feel the love you still have for your daughter, and I admire you for drawing healthy boundaries with your family. Btw- my son and I are in communication again, and he seems to understand I am to be fully respected at all times now. He told me he loves me deeply. That is a great new start. I am making sure to remind him if needed that actions and behavior is what matters more than the words. Feeling grateful and much more confident in who I am these days.🙂 Sending love and light your way, Kerri.✨️ Have a great day.

[@kimklmal]

I blocked all 4 of my adult kids...they are draining Me! The good have to suffer with the bad. Too bad so sad 😞

[@ta6531]

oh my.... You are right... this adult son of mine has destroyed my heart and he use to say I was the best mom... I thought I would die from the pain of heartbreak..

[@margaretpare8206]

My daughter used to tell family friends how proud she was of me for all I accomplished in my life. I watched my grandson 4days/wk from the time he was 6 weeks old until he went to 3 yo preschool. And then sporadically for him and the second one whenever she needed me. But now I'm mean, evil, and abusive.

[@alened2648]

My oldest daughter decided to side with my NM and her NF. She started to devalue me when she was a teenager. She is now 44 years old and has gotten worse. I haven’t seen my four grandsons in years.

[@tammyweast1072]

This was on point. I was married to a narc for 20 years. When we divorced my two youngest were teenagers. It was non stop fights, smear campaigns and some violence. I went minimal contact after my children participated in helping my ex ruin my life. Now they are adults and it’s constant gaslighting, guilt trips etc. I wanted to try to engage more contact but after the last argument I realized I have to give up. They refuse to acknowledge what happened and why I removed myself. It’s very toxic and it breaks my heart every single time. I’ve suffered depression and anxiety for years now. You really can feel when they are going to ask for something it’s like the atmosphere changes.

[@tictactoedias1908]

You are so right 👍

[@H1ana2digital]

Yes, suddenly you're the best parent in the world!

[@cindivicious]

This is the only comment that pulled my empathy....❤ , tell your story because this is a cost we also pay when not leaving soon enough to also save our children. In case someone interprets this as victim blaming, absolutely it is not. I had to experience self Accountability to finally escape the situation I was in..... Most other comments are narc parents in denial of how this is the result of the abuse they allowed on their children. I wish healing for ALL, ESPECIALLY the narcissist so they can stop abusing and stop hurting.

[@tammyweast1072]

@@cindivicious luckily I’m a patient person. Now that my children are older and have spent enough time with my ex, they became victims of his narcissism and it really opened their eyes. We have managed to find a way to move forward with some acknowledgment of each others parts played. Yes though if a person can get away before their children turn into them🙌🙌🙌

[@normatobin962]

My heart goes out to all of the people who left comments here! I pray the Lords peace and healing over you all! You truly have dealt w/the demonic! Pray for them but go "no contact." God sees your pain and your love in light of the abuse! I do believe God will restore them b4 death.

[@aquarichick]

Thank you SO much for this video. As a parent of an abusive adult child, I've felt the stigma when seeking help. I so rarely hear someone willing to walk through this ugly truth with those of us who live it. Thank you thank you thank you and thank you again 🤗😭

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

It is my pleasure, thank you for being here

[@bigmamaliving6767]

@@overcomingnarcissistabuse thank you for this video I've been abused for years I always felt bad because I was shot 9 time I couldn't take him places felt guilty. but girl.I am tired now God is giving me strength I talked up for myself now.

[@nancymorgan3006]

Thank you Dr Carmen for this There's not many videos out there about adult children narcissism, I live with my adult narcissistic son he's more covert than overt but he does act out overtly more as he gets older, and I got to say, it is so heartbreaking, as well as the anger that I have towards him from all the horrible malicious things he's done to me, watching this has given me encouragement , knowing I'm not alone and there is support for this, I've realized I need to remove myself from this arrangement I can't live with him anymore, I need to take care of myself, I'm going on 60yrs and I need peace in my life, my health has deteriorated from this as well as depression and anxiety has gotten worse, I'm literally afraid of him too, he punches holes in the walls, destroys things my personal things, I walk on eggshells all the time! what's really sad is that he's my only child, and I related to what you said about them not being not your best friend's and their our children first, I know I've experienced that feeling of wanting to be my sons best friend but knowing it's not healthy, but I've learned to change that thinking, and focus on being a parent, but it's so bad that nothing I do makes any difference, I just need to distance myself and as soon as I can financially do so, I'm going to have to move out and away from him for my own sanity and safety, it brakes my heart but it's what I got to do. Thank you for the video.

[@YahshuamySovereign]

Yah speed 🕊💞🕊

[@elevensubsonly8635]

You moved out?

[@SanctuaryGoodLife]

Straightest talk I’ve seen and heard about this. Very few people get any of this unless they’ve been through it themselves. It’s way too common too, all ages . I can think of 7 adults off the top of my head who control and are abusive to their Gen X, Boomer or Silent Generation parent. And spot on about them mimicking the narcissistic parent or another elder . It’s gotten a lot worse since families and acquaintances stopped mentoring the kids in their circles and groups in the 70s or maybe before that. And since there’s been a political shift encouraging kids to disrespect or fear their own elders and their fellow citizens . This is a seriously excellent video thank you for your straight forwardness about the reality.

[@tinabrunet6024]

Many good, kind, generous, devoted, loving parents suffer tremendously. Thank you so much for describing the callousness, condescension, aggression, betrayal, disrespect, and apathy. Please post more on this. The problem can be worse for grandparents who are even more vulnurable. So needed...

[@debbiem6406]

Thank you for addressing this very specific and painful relationship. I'm so thankful because it's the only time I've seen anyone focus on it. I wish there was a whole channel dedicated to it.

[@RevDrGCP]

Me too

[@tictactoedias1908]

Same 👍

[@scota73]

It’s really needed

[@YahshuamySovereign]

🕊💞🕊

[@deeevansnola8178]

My Dad is a narcissist. Before I found out I was steady trying to make him proud of me and no matter what I accomplished it was never enough. Now I know better.

[@kingsoren2010]

My mother too.

[@squarepeg418]

My parents forced college on me by making me believe I couldn’t support myself without a degree and then made me believe I couldn’t pay for my own education. So I graduate college 5 months pregnant with a 10 month old on my hip and hint at my dad that I want him to say he’s proud of me for doing what he wanted me to do with my own life and he responded by saying, “You should do things for yourself, not other people.” Excuse me? So confusing.

[@dammar117]

Thank you for explaining the concept of love-bombing. This is the hardest part, not giving in to the occasional sweet talk that follows days of their mistreatment and a motber's endless tears.

[@msthang5366]

WOW!!! You just spoke my whole relationship with my adult children

[@YahshuamySovereign]

🕊💞🕊

[@charlielynn3674]

OMG! You are so smart. Thank you. I'm a mother of a narcissist and I'm finally cutting the cord after 33 yrs. and she is dangerous. You get it. Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you more.

[@kathleenandrews8655]

Nice to come back to this. Couldnt figure out what was bothering me wanting a healthy relationship with my daughter. Then came the thought radical acceptance & putting my boundaries in place. Its lessoning the pain. Thanks Dr. Carmen Bryant very thorough it really helped today.

[@msell2682]

I think my daughter is a covert narcissist. She has a good job and she's getting married...but everything you said from 5:50 sounds just like her. I've bent over backwards to find out what's the problem and she says nothing until she gets mad. I believe she throws a tantrum if she sees me happy. She picks fights and plays the victim. She gaslights and bold face lies. Now that she's gotten a decent paying job, she constantly tries to belittle me. I have a decent career but she makes more money. I want her to do well in life and have suggested therapy plenty of times. She agrees but never goes. She's kind to me in front of others but she attacks me verbally in every way when we are alone together. It has gotten so bad that I don't want to be alone with her. I don't trust her anymore. I didn't want it to come to this but I'm starting feel like I don't trust her even when she is nice

[@beyondwords2909]

I have same issue here I feel for you

[@dammar117]

"It has gotten so bad that I don't want to be alone with her. I don't trust her anymore. I didn't want it to come to this but I'm starting feel like I don't trust her even when she is nice." Exactly what I'm going through.

[@b52270]

Wow I was just discussing this topic just today with a close relative....breaks my heart for my son who is narcissistic.

[@Caribbeanqueen1976]

This is exactly what I deal with with my 23 year old daughter. It's like dealing with the devil. Cursing me out when things are going good for her, but as soon as she loses it all. "I miss my mom so much. I really want to have a relationship with my mom. I need my mom. I'm depressed." She never says "I miss you mom." She talks as if she's talking to someone else about me.

[@realliving7340]

Definitely can relate to this. I just cut my narc son off. Im tired of the disrespect. The bank is closed as well. God bless.❤

[@joanndeck4315]

It’s because they don’t see you as a human being….you’re just a tool or object….something to USE. I’m sorry, trust me I know it hurts….my oldest son, 27, is a narc too

[@keisha772]

The rage. You described my brother who is an Alcoholic as well. He and my mother are the Narcissist. Me and my Dad (deceased) are the Empath. Sadly, my daughter's father is Narcissist. This stuff goes so deep and wide. It all begins in Early Childhood. Keep speaking THE TRUTH...you are helping so many people!

[@hijones2968]

You are my new hero! Thank you for speaking with strength and compassion to the most broken parts of my heart

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

I’m honored thank you for being here

[@YahshuamySovereign]

🕊💞🕊

[@normatobin962]

Thank you do much for addressing the subject! Very little help out their for parent's experiencing abuse by an adult kid.

[@jodiloree3691]

Just spent 6000. Towards court fees etc. And a year of drama to help my daughter get her kid back. Within days of it being done,,she found something to diss me.

[@9344music5]

I'm beginning to this it is a generational thing. These kids nowadays are so self centered and cruel. So disrespectful. Let them figure it out. Don't help anymore.

[@bobo34393]

Everything doctor Carmen is saying is true 😊

[@PLBRossi]

I unfortunately let my 40 year old child move back when he showed up at my doorstep unannounced with a moving van. Now he has taken over my home and has even disconnected my television so I cannot watch it. I have been very sick fighting a immune/ parasite disorder and stress is the worse thing to have added to the mix. Your video of what they do to you is spot on. I am 70 year old sick Mom and have had my home and 20 year old car taken over by him. It’s below him to share expenses or lift a finger with chores but he always has lists for me to accomplish. I may have to sell my house and move into senior care just to get a life back and feel normal again.

[@beyondwords2909]

What parasite cleanse are you taking

[@girlwonder6]

Wow!! For once You Tube algorithm has sent me a video with topic that I'm really interested in. Sadly, everything that you have described I'm experiencing with my cerebreal, highly successful son. And, yes you are correct...to my shock and dismay my son began acting like his Narcisstic father. With every new success or achievement he erupts....especially if I dare to not lavish praise on him as though he was still in grade school getting high scores. However, the latest thing is a smear campaign .... this comes after he raged and ruined our lunch together. After I dared to threatenbhim by exposing his horrible mistreatment of me... my son decided to verbally attack me and says he, "never want to see me," or talk to me again. Now, my son has told his wife and in-laws that I'm crazy. Even worse...his equally Narcisstic, overachieving wife just had a baby, and they already using her to hurt me. You would think that he would be thankful to me for doing things decades ago that led to his college degrees and success (...when father was completely absent from his life).

[@angiegracie6954]

my daughter was perfect until I had to say no to her. I could have her back tomorrow if I just do everything she wants and expect zero in return. It really sucks after putting in so much parental time as a single parent. I made so many mistakes. Basically I kept a roof over her stuff. She was always sleeping out and she never took no for an answer. My screw up and I'm paying for it.

[@marfarjan]

I feel you..... I did the same and the pain is unbearable .....

[@willmart4321]

You are not to blame they are adults now,and they are choosing to behave this way,it's nearly 2 years since my child cussed me out because I wouldn't just hand over £2000.00 pounds,she promptly told me I am dead to her,well this is going to sound terrible but I am better without her in my life,even other people around me have noticed how much happier I am now,the thing is you don't realise how miserable you become constantly worrying about how you can fix the situation I have learnt you cannot fix it,people are the way they are that includes our adult children,you have an obligation to live your life in happiness ❤

[@angiegracie6954]

@@willmart4321 I totally agree. UPDATE: On a good not when I was finally getting over the loss of my daughter, I sent her an email and only in the subject heading I wrote , “I WILL GET OVER YOU” and I put nothing in the email. That triggered her to get in touch with me and even though she never apologized, she has been trying hard to make it up to me. I tell you that all we have is “hope”. I know we can live without them and hopefully things will change for all of us. But honestly, I’ll never completely get over all the pain I suffered. Good luck to us all.

[@mateodevon2967]

@@angiegracie6954 why send a messags like that smh

[@angiegracie6954]

@@mateodevon2967 because I can.

[@Aristobulos7]

Thank you for this insight. This is TRUTH. Our narcissistic abusive partners brainwash & control some of our children & then these adult children start abusing us just like the ex partner did. The verbal abuse & false cognitions are too much to bare. How do we help them become self aware if they won’t have a conversation??? This is my question. Do we let them go? 😩

[@Jovi64]

Spot on for my Adult child!! The best explanation I have ever heard..Thank you for this video! 💝💖💝

[@littleiodine9480]

Thank you so much for understanding about how so severely hard it is the number one admit about your children being narcissists but also knowing you have to let go and how gut-wrenchingly hard that is as well.

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

My love to you

[@HealedbyGod18]

My gosh everything you’ve mentioned I can relate to. This is exactly what I’m going thru with my narcissistic ex he’s turned my children against me and now they are doing the most horrific things to me as a mother. No respect nothing they’ve done me so so wrong when all I did was love them and fight for what was mine in the divorce after that is when it got bad! I will no longer be abused by my ex or my kids

[@isabeltobin5472]

Same happened to me , court battles , alienation, destruction, turns out 14 years later my first son is exactly the same as my ex , my middle has the traits, daughter is empath and they destroyed her she has Major depression disorder and eating disorder. Courts don’t recognize NPD , they also turn the court against you and it becomes and endless costly battle with no positive resolution

[@reynamaldonado8082]

I have five adult children and four of them are narcissistic like their father... They want to control me they talk over me they treat me like a child etc. I distanced myself from them

[@TheFabricTeapot1]

It's time for me to move on and protect myself.

[@goldenwriter5089]

Exactly. The peace you will have will be amazing.

[@SmilingDolphins-dx2qx]

Absolutely spot on Mini of his father ,really took over where he's left off,heartbreaking but I've been told from Dr's he knows exactly what he's doing ,Thank you Dr this son 24 I think will have to go ,day in day out ,I'm Absolutely devastated broken 😢 2 more do stuff but coercively, agree with the father ,brainwashed from young ,and bought with money .

[@jameslandrum555]

Thank you so much for this video! I’ve blamed myself for years for how my 29 year old daughter treats me & uses my grand babies against me & boy does she know how to insult me & make me feel low & guilty if she don’t get her way. It’s like building me up just so she can chop me down over & over. I’ll always love her & the Grands can’t help it but I can’t let her hold them over me & it’s heart breaking but I have to love her from a distance.

[@Annedowntherabbithole]

You're not alone. There's many of us in the same situation. It's devastating

[@realliving7340]

I completely understand. In the same boat❤.

[@Sally-ih6ls]

Totally u derstand

[@joanndeck4315]

Yup….there is ALOT of us….so sorry, I know it hurts and I know you wish it was different….I do too ❤

[@bobbiejean864]

I really needed to hear this message today. I think my 22 year old daughter is narcissistic - covert. She isn't speaking to me yet again because I put up some healthy boundaries and finally started saying no. I have a very weak heart and am in heart failure (most likely caused by stress). She doesn't show she cares and is so selfish. Oh, she talks a good talk about how much she loves me and is the only one who is there for me. (she has no idea who is there for me because she is so wrapped up in herself) I was sick with some sort of flu for a month and she couldn't even help me out once. The she came over she wanted to complain, vent about her ex, or feed her 3 year old my food. (she is lazy and doesn't like to cook) I don't mind sharing but I was struggling to feed my own 8 year old something more nutritious than bologna sandwiches. I have suspected she was narcissistic for many years, but she always love bombed her way out of it or made me feel sorry for her. Life is easier now that she isn't talking to me. I do miss my granddaughter but she is too wild, hyper and disobedient for me to handle her in my condition. It breaks my heart.

[@unapologeticlydope3451]

I feel you deeply as this is my life right now. My daughter has these traits and I feel like since I told her NO I’m not going to see my sweet lil grandson again for a while. He’s 2 😢I had to go no contact with many toxic narcs and she is on the list as well. 💔💔

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

I have 2N adult kids and husb and I are going away this Xmas. I could take no more, them not showing up after I cooked or come and had been drinking and mean and nasty, enough is enough. It has been hard accepting them as narcs but necessary. Like you said, protect yourself. I told them today we were going out of town, now getting silent treatment, they don't respond to my text but it is better than argueing or being with them on the holidays.

[@carolmininger9012]

Thank you for this! My emotions are shot! I am going Grey rock with my Son. He is very toxic.

[@bluemoon3699]

Dr. Carmen Please more videos on this. Thank you.

[@ErinKalkwarf]

I for the longest time couldn't figure out how my son got to be a narcissist...but it makes sense now - he picked it up from his dad. We aren't together now but he was in the picture from birth to age 8 and that was sporadic because he was also a drug addict and alcoholic and would go on binges. My son will be 21 in a couple of weeks and it hurts me to say that I don't like my son. I would actually be okay if I didn't have to talk to him anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but I'd rather be happy then have to deal with him.

[@DawnMaxwell-y4z]

So accurate Dr. Carmen this hits the nail on the head 💯 . Thank you .

[@ramona5575]

Such a helpful video, Dr. Carmen! Your explanation of what love-bombing looks like between parent and adult child was very illuminating ❣

[@Diamonddusted68]

This is spot on. Escaped a narcissist only to discover my children have strong narcissistic traits.

[@aimeehylaris5820]

This is worse than a death in the family, but I will survive

[@MAROBI333]

You got this.

[@margaretpare8206]

I tell people that it's like there was a horrific accident and they all died.

[@violetwaterford9381]

This totally helped me. I had to cut off my son who is 40 years old. I spent so much money helping him get out of ARSON charges, and he was living in my home yet he makes over 80,000 a year. He is single with no kids. He was destroying my home! Following no home rules. He was drinking and saying Horrible things to me and blaming everyone. I put him out and he did a public smear on me. It was so hurtful. The point that got me where I knew I had to have...no contact was when he said to me ....I would have done better if you would have just DIED! I was shocked. He was spoiled big time as a kid and my own elderly father sold his home in California and moved away to get away from my son! He moved in on him and my dad told me that he knew he had to HIDE to be free of his grandson, and he felt unsafe around my son. That if he put any rules like don't smoke in my house I'm on oxygen!! My adult son who insult him and degrade him as a grandfather then do it anyways and lie and say my dad was crazy for smelling smoke. My son ate all his food and made unreal messes since all he wants to do is paint on canvas his emotions! After my dad took off and hid my son moved out of State to my house! I actually felt a since of relief when I texted him back to stay away and not contact me! I would involve the police on verbal threats and emotional abuse. My son had to sign another yearly lease on his apartment and had been demanding to move back into my house! So HE could get ahead. I told him No that he wasn't getting ahead on me GETTING BEHIND! I really think I was getting close to dying from a stress related disease if I had continued playing that game with him verbally abusing me like a spoiled toddler.

[@eusebiasantiago2715]

How is he with dating? Does he enable women he's dating?

[@lilyb5968]

God help us...this is our life with our 43 year old daughter. Word for Painful Word. Every single word.

[@eusebiasantiago2715]

Im glad I found this video whoa 🤯

[@Scarab80]

This is my 27 yr old daughter. At 13 she completely changed, ran away, got pregnant at 14, had a baby at 15 who I'm raising. Went through verbal and physical abuse from her. She's violent, a horrible mother, manipulative, uses the kids as leverage, drug addicted, can't keep a job, alcoholic and a narcissistic sociopath. These past 13 years have been a nightmare but she's got herself into a huge problem with the law so she'll probably be gone for a while. I'll be picking up the pieces from all the destruction and chaos shes caused to my family and these little girls and their families. I just recently got married and will be moving to the islands to start my life over so there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. Be strong family!💜💓

[@judayaalexander11]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I wish there were better words to convey my gratitude for your video. I am a mother all on my own in this big world dealing with the issues you elaborated so beautifully upon in this video and it has absolutely kept me afloat on one of the darkest days of my life. Thank you! ~Be Good~

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

I’m honored thank you as well for finding value in what I said

[@georgemyers1940]

Thank you Dr. for this video. You answered my question, I asked a month ago.

[@kathleenking888]

Show them the door, it's an exit door, not revolving. Good buy. Grow up! Take care of yourself, you gave birth to them but as adults you are not responsible for them. They have choices! You choose a happy, peaceful, loving and abundant life without drama. Let them go and create drama with someone who cares, fat chance of that happening!

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

Well said

[@Jessica-iq6kj]

Thank you for discussing this hard taboo topic. Very insightful and on point.

[@szendrich]

I see a lot of parenting-hating online. I think this has become a trend by the younger generations, which makes me think they feel entitled to the point where a parent needs to be at their beck and call as otherwise they'll literally be deleted from their lives. My daughter was difficult but never as bad as she became just 5 years ago, when suddenly, out of the blue, she started accusing me of things I didn't do and saying nasty things about my character. Prior to that, we had issues, but we were close and talked about everything, so this all came as a shock to me. I got the feeling she had been influenced by these online parent-hating forums, because when I did some research on the topic, I realised she was repeating pretty much the same things I saw on these sites. I think this is the vilest thing anyone can do. Parents aren't perfect people and I'm sure many, like me, have made their fair share of mistakes, but nowhere as bad as to merit so much hatred. Some of these sites are run by psychologists, who advise these young adults to cut their parents out of their lives. My relationship with my daughter has since changed drastically. We are now like two strangers or remote acquaintances. The reason I keep in touch is because I love my grandchildren and don't want them to grow up without me. I put up with a lot of flak because of this, but at least I get to see my grandchildren, so it's not such a bad trade-off. They love me and this makes me happy.

[@MAROBI333]

This is a social, cultural phenomenon. It’s a herd mentality thing. Stop talking or communicating with them in every way. Pray for them and keep it moving.

[@urdude67]

Thanks Doc! You gave me enough information to gain deeper perspective.

[@oriemaae3838]

Yes i live WA and its terrible how they side up with adult kids. And they can abuse their parents ya have to call adult protective services . These kids think everything is owed to them and their parents are supposed to take care of them but they dont gave to give a crap about helping or taking care of their parent. I know someone who was afriad of their kids to tell them they had to move cause she really wasn’t supposed to let anyone live or stay with her more then two weeks or she could loose here housing. They really verbally abused her shes in her 60’s . Thanks for doing this video!👍🏼

[@lovelylife2171]

Oh man, this description is SPOT ON.

[@michellebegin4965]

Your words make my heart cry . . . .

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

It hurts but it’s truth chin up Queen 👑

[@tiffanythomas1004]

🔥 This is my situation. I’m so grateful for you, this video & this comment section.

[@laurarominger2073]

Thank u so much. I've realized in the last year my teenage daughter has major narc tendencies. My ex is one. We adopted her as a baby but theres reason to believe her birth mother was too. So she didn't have a chance. Anyway she's now full time at her dads. She began disrespecting me. Discovered all her lies and then she gaslit me. I had enough. Thank you for saying all you said. As a mom I related to everything. I also was a teacher for 20 years. So the disrepect don't fly. Its been horrible. The guilt. But ive been here before and I know what I have to do. And I've done it. To think she'll always be this way breaks my heart. But it is what it is. Bless you for this video.

[@heatheranderson5333]

Wow, that’s exactly how my son talks to me! I’m choosing to walk away.

[@cellosong]

Your compassion is well placed here and much appreciated.

[@asiacarree5183]

You said just what I needed to confirm My perception in my life with my narcissistic adult children. ❤ thank you

[@dawnwang1558]

Girl, I’m feeling your vibe. That was awesome 😎

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

came back to listen again, yes it is a mental disorder. Trying to let go and live my life, might as well you can't change them.

[@NS-lx4hx]

I like your upfront truth & style..it's the total truth what you said here on your channel 💝

[@riverjordan392]

Thank you for producing this video. ♥️

[@Chickching]

I'm going through this right now. My daughter and three sons are from my abusers . It's so painfully heartbreaking. Right now it is. I'll get past this. Thank you for this video it is so true. You have helped me. Thank you. Just want to tell you thank you.

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

You are most welcome

[@blessed1003]

Thank you ❤ Finally someone spoke on this issue and another question is why do people accuse mothers of being jealous of their daughters especially like what has been described in this vid and some of the comments i can relate to what they have been through with daughters.

[@dianefrancis2253]

Thank you 🙏 Dr. Carman . Yes , I finally found this video!!! ❤️❤️❤️🌹🙏👍

[@misstd158]

My son Is an adult that still lives at home he calls me all type of prostitution and horse even though he's never seen me do anything along those lines I've given him everything and he appreciates nothing he's always looking for the next thing I can do for him and he erases all the things that I've already done when he doesn't get his way he swells up as if he's trying to fight me he pounds on the tables with his fist cry and throws tantrums I want nothing more than for him to move out of my home and never come back but every time he leaves everything falls apart from him and he ends up right back in my house taking over everything harassing me and my daughter it feels like I can't even enjoy what's left of my life I'm just praying to God that he will finally go away and not move back 🙏🙏🙏

[@karlkrueger3735]

I understand where you’re coming from, and I made some real mistakes raising my son I did everything I could I never knew about boundaries at all. I pray it gets better for me and you it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done is walk away it’s scary and seems impossible.

[@misstd158]

@@karlkrueger3735 I'm sorry that you're going through what you're going through I do understand I have to let mines go as well their family so you don't want to do that but you also don't want them to put you in an early grave I just got into an argument with my son today so I'm feeling down about that knowing deep down inside I have to let him go for my own sanity so I pray that it works out for the both of us as well stay strong if the only thing we can do

[@rebekah5350]

Mine threw me out on the streets in the middle of the night, I was sleeping then she destroyed all of my belongings with her little sister. I'm left with 2 bags of belongings and homeless and she texts laughing telling me she wants to choke me to death. It's serious for a fact.

[@Canaday291]

Just like the malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I recently divorced my children now treat me in the same cruel way. I am a conditional object to them only useful or significant if I’m paying for something or constantly used as a free nanny to o babysitmy daughters son that she will use as a pawn and keep him from me if she’s having issues with me. She manipulates me to do babysitting overnights by telling me I’m the only one she trusts to fake “compliment” me into always saying yes. I am at the stage that I’m actually saying yes because I’m scared and intimidated by her as she has attacked me so many times . If there’s ever any adversity or opposition she senses from me she instantly invalidates and dismisses me and attacks me with such hurtful damaging cruelty stating she and her bf want to move with my grandson far away from me that I’m the cause of her problems.they want to cancel their wedding because of me... she smear campaigns me on her social media and to all her friends family and siblings always somehow implicating me for reason she has her life issues .. never giving me credit for all the loving unconditional sacrifices devotion heart and soul I poured into raising her basically all alone up against all odds dealing at the same time with an abusive negligent cheating “husband “

[@denisealonge4773]

Amen to that !! Adult kids are not ur friends they are ur kids 🥰🙏

[@kathleenking888]

I like you, say it as it is!

[@Teras2003]

My daughter is pregnant with my first grandchild. She has blocked me on every and is holding the baby over my head. Her narcissistic father is back in her life now so I’m the bad guy and been banned. I’m sad and mad. Thank you for the video

[@Chosenaire]

My son hate that I hold him accountable for his actions

[@antwan1357]

Keep the conversation to a bare minimum with a narcissist , ive found non verbal cues usually work the best like , ahem , um , ah , usually this will trigger a narcissist , because it gives them nothing to work with and get super upset that they have no leverage. Then usually one word responses are the next step, then two word responses etc.

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

Right there

[@Prometheuspredator]

Great plan. I used a strategy like this with my brother and it worked. Been no contact 3 years.

[@9344music5]

Thank you Doctor. So on point with this topic. You hit all of the issues I am going through. I did not expect you to talk about how we may have already had to put up with a narcissistic relationship, and now we have to deal with our child who is also a narcissist. My kids mom was a total narcissist but I NEVER thought my two girls would become that way as adults after I raised them 50% of the time.

[@overcomingnarcissistabuse]

I am so sorry to hear that

[@bellesterbeatty3571]

Timeless video. Thank you, Dr. B.

[@nechialee4624]

Hi Dr. Carmen thanks for uploading your videos, always lovely to see you. Keep up the great work you do 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@thislife5326]

They are always on the attack and target/victim is always defending,sure sign of narcissistic abuse .Time to not play their game.Give no emotion.Flat line responses ,so no supply.Also best not to let them see your eyes when emotional they look for weakness and your eyes dont lie.Young or old narcissists. Its all emotional manipulation very dark.

[@katherinemorgan2618]

Thank you so much for this. Sometimes my oldest son does the same things you're talking about. Always playing blame game.

[@jennaletizia5430]

This is my adult son exactly. He threatened to kill me by burning my house down with his little brother in it. After 38 years I have to stay no contact. Supported him then stopped and he raged on me again. Beat me up before