The Narcissist and the Discard: The Real Reasons They Discarded You

In today's video Jill talks about the Narcissist and the Discard. In today's video she is going to tell you the real reasons that Narcissists discard a person they are in a relationship with. And this doesn't only apply to people who are in a romantic relationship with a Narcissist, this applies to any relationship someone has with a Narcissist, including the relationships they have with their own children. If you have a relationship with a Narcissist, or you know someone who is, then today's video is for you.
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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[@Sunshine-hb2tx]

My husband lied to me from the start of our marriage. He lied to me and chose not to tell me he had a girlfriend while proposing to me. He lied about his sexual transmited infection for 10yrs of our marriage. His excuse was that he knew that I wouldn't want to be with him if he had told me the truth. He lied to his family and our children that I was having affairs. I've never cheated. After months and yrs of arguments I discussed with him of is separating he insisted that we can work things out. However he ended up discarding me and made it clear that he made the decision to leave me. It is truly a blessing, I'm ready to move on

[@baharrrr]

So sorry. Mine lied about me to his family, too. It made me furious because his parents were like a second mother and father to me. He told them I was having jealousy attacks about his "friend" and going through his phone, reading his messages with "his friend" and that's why he broke up with me while in fact, I asked him to see his messages because I thought he was cheating on me and when he handed his phone over, I saw that he'd been cheating on me for months with the said "friend". Then over a phone call, he told me that his mother called "my jealous behaviour" "really ugly."

[@johnpichla9557]

Because I finally grew the balls and said NO!

[@transporterIII]

...and that's when they get even more sexually aroused. The only thing more toxic and erogenous to a female Narc is when you get in a potentially fatal fight for them and win.

[@higgnz1966]

One month ago, my soon-to-be ex-wife filed for divorce with zero warning. I was devastated. After learning about narcissism, I now understand better why she had treated me harshly, and why she decided to end the marriage. This video helped me understand what I had lived through for 13 years. Thank you! Thank you!

[@wimw.8637]

I'm with you... It was all a game..

[@bmoremom8458]

You are finally not her hostage. Enjoy your freedom to heal and not attract these dirtballs.

[@onamateo9224]

Thanks Lessons Learned👍👍👍

[@onamateo9224]

Thank u M out and no coming back

[@liseduedue2715]

It’s a criminal behavior. More and more often the victim is still the good part- waiting trying to understand and correct the N., lot of work and energy lack.. and so at the top of it- THEY r the ones who all of a sudden ends it, discards, against YOU- shifting the blame totally, and again it’s you that must take all responsibility and deal with the consequences Because there’s a lot of concerns and left overs of consequences for the whole situation or family Big distraction, both staying or leaving. But they’re not to be punished are they? A lot of famous people also have the same syndrome N . It’s so much out there…. attacks physical and psychologically. Actually, they often fools everybody in the courts too Still people are not educated in this fen-omen, ridiculous🥵😫

[@emmarae4322]

They become ice cold. They show their disdain for you that's always been there.

[@sharoneh8929]

@@emmarae4322 Yep so cold! Whoa 😧 I was blindsided. But I am Free, so glad it is OVER💯❗🎯✅✝️

[@cassiebennet4262]

My sister recently stood with her husband through his vaccine injury, alcoholism when he went to rehab, his unstable relationship with his parents/employers who fired and rehired him several times and now he is just discarding her out of the fucking blue. After 12 years of marriage. I cannot wrap my head around these vile wastes of flesh. He's gone through a series of severe trauma in just under 2 years, she's held him up in every way possible and he's just throwing her away like trash. These scumbags are absolute horrors of human beings and I'm starting to question if they're human at all.

[@cindyrosebud838]

My psychologist calls them HSO - human shaped object. He won't last long on his own. He's riding high on all the fuel your sister gave him.

[@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696]

I'm convinced that these individuals are empty meat suits. They have evil souls, and they destroy and consume anything with a heartbeat without mercy.

[@warriormom5843]

They’re not. They are demons.

[@Someonne_dot_com]

They aren't human, but evil beings

[@liseduedue2715]

Exactly . Thanks for shearing such a story , they also have drug / alcohol problems and throwing people like trash out of the blue, yesss Better don’t share any financial info with them even if it’s a relationship So sad and dangerous

[@GuitarMatt]

4:00 - #2 is where it's at! (That narcissist HATES something called ACCOUNTIBILITY)

[@judytax9887]

Two years ago I started dating a man and he was decent for a couple of months and then the devaluing started overnight. My walls went up, and I kept a lot of distance from him. He moved to a town about 30 miles away for his job and soon after the gaslighting started. I did not give him the chance to discard me because I discarded him. I saw the writing on the wall and got out!

[@samscarletta7433]

He will probably try to come back. Don't let him!!

[@cyndigooch1162]

Good on you and they don't all attempt to return to cause more trauma, but it's best to be prepared! It seems like you have no desire to get back with him anyway. 😊

[@chenanigans]

Good for you for having enough self-esteem and self-worth and value. I'm going through round three right now with my narcissist. He discarded me twice already came back and then the last time he discarded me. I went no contact for 6 months and then he's trying to get back into my life now and I can't say that I have enough self-worth to say no. But I am very aware of what's happening and I'm trying to watch these videos and start therapy to help myself recognize what I'm dealing with and hopefully snap out of it

[@jenettepieters4612]

6:09 ​@@cyndigooch1162

[@Angie_Secret_Squirrel]

Im glad!!! Im FREE!! Definitely the best thing thats happened, demonic,malevolent, evil entities are not welcome in my life :)

[@wimw.8637]

At the brutal sudden discard she told me cold hearted that is was all a roll play she had been doing to me all this time. Everything was fake.. And this was after 30 years together... They are robots not human.

[@L.Fontein7]

Ha! Robots are programmed to have better manners than narcs!

[@emmarae4322]

😢😢😢

[@viewerwatching5712]

They are demon possessed.

[@aboutthatlife1418]

After 30 years?

[@wimw.8637]

@@aboutthatlife1418 Yes, exactly after 30 years. From one day to the other she let me know I was her enemy..

[@spacegirl226]

Jill is right. Two years out from my discard, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I would never go back to that skeaze now that I know what he is and understand what he did to me. Nobody deserves that kind of horrible treatment. He's already remarried(!), so #1 was definitely true for me: I was replaced. I pity her, but he's her problem now. Screw him. I'm free! Take care, everyone. Recovering and healing is a hard journey, but you're worth it. Don't give up on yourself. Thanks, Jill.

[@B-Nia]

👏👏👏

[@paulneal7495]

Skeaze is a good word

[@KeishaWoodbridge]

How'd u get thru it? It's been a month. I caught him cheating again after almost 8 years. I tried closure and he said let's take a 30 day break because we can never stay away from each other. I told him not this time and he yelled at me and told me I'd never be able to find him bla bla. He lied for years it appears. I'm so lost . I'm trying so hard to move on.

[@spacegirl226]

@@KeishaWoodbridge I'm sorry you're having to go through this. These people don't understand the damage they cause. What helped me, which may not be possible for you, is that I moved away. I had no choice. But being away from him made it so much easier to deal with because I wasn't running into him and the only way we contacted each other was through text or email, nothing vocal or in person. You're going to have to break off all contact if you can, block him everywhere. Change your number. Get new email addresses. Get off social media so you aren't tempted to check on him. You have to do the tough stuff first because you're already processing the heart break. You add this to it. Remember this: the MF cheated on you. He doesn't love you or care about you because if he did, he wouldn't have strayed. You would have gotten closure, you could have talked about what happened. He's not going to give you that -- he THREATENED you. Remember all the bad things, write them down. If you're feeling weak, look at your list of awful things he did to you. GET ANGRY. Make up your mind that you are done with this BS and that you deserve better. My closure came when I discovered my ex had remarried. I wasn't even mad or upset. I laughed, I was relieved. I took a look at all the things I realized, the research I'd done into narcissism, I remembered all the awful shit he did, and I was finally able to let go without worrying and looking over my shoulder that he was going to slink back in. He still might try to hoover when this marriage grows stale. I gave him so many chances to make things right, and he refused. I know everything I need to. And for you with your ex, if you take a moment, make a list, you'll know everything you need to as well. You don't deserve a cheater. You deserve a gentleman. Let that stupid MF go so you can have what you need and want. He was in your way. He was stopping you. You're done. YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! Internet high five.

[@sharoneh8929]

@KeishaWoodbridge I'm praying for you 🙏🏾. Just one day at a time. Be good to yourself and take care of you now.

[@treesaremadeofwood2145]

I wish I had known this 13 1/2 years ago, it would have saved me from the hell she caused and the delight she takes in ghosting, Stonewalling and parental alienation...... I never knew let alone could have believed a person could be so vicious and so cold...... It makes you lose faith in people and makes you realise you can't really trust people because the closer they are, the more they can stab you in the heart and in the back.....

[@wimw.8637]

So true...

[@BryonSturgill]

Im right there with you brother, it sucks so bad!!!

[@liseduedue2715]

Yesss never want to get very close to anybody anymore

[@JD.yahthatsme]

It’s like unreal. What did you do?

[@carlthornton1831]

Once I discovered what was happening to me and let her know that I know that she's a narcissist. She replied "Ms. Narcissist" I also told her that I know my worth and shelf life wasn't going to work while your grooming your next victim and that I wouldn't be subject to anymore shaming, gaslighting and greyrocking. She greyrocked me again and I blocked her. 6 months no contact and feeling much stronger like my old self

[@samscarletta7433]

And it keeps getting better!🎉

[@michaelnienaber8263]

Congratulations ❤

[@PrudenceTanyaradzwaMagwaba]

It's shelf life for me 😂😂😂. Anyway ,You did the right thing. Well done.

[@Patricia-jb8bc]

Hallelujah

[@helloDobson3259]

This so well describes what I went through at the end of a 20 year marriage to my ex-wife. The discard is just brutal to a healthy person with human empathy and compassion; just zero closure.

[@wimw.8637]

I am totally with you, had the exact same experience. They are not human but robots.

[@ianmasters4225]

Right there with you. I knew she was trying to punish me since it happened now I know why. She is just vengeful.

[@3arhodes]

Did they try to come back?

[@MattyNelson-rs3ik]

You do your own closure..

[@sharoneh8929]

@3arhodes No he married someone else while we were engaged. For me, there's no coming Back, ever!!!

[@writer1986]

I'm a narcissistic target. I'm a people pleaser and give the benefit of the doubt. Therefore I've dated narcissists and am married to one. They've all discarded me after I started holding them accountable and speaking up for myself (ie. Find a full-time job, finish the dishes, no I can't hangout with you because I'm busy). I was dumped by all but my husband. He did try to reconnect with an ex, but that backfired because she's also narcissistic and tattled to me on Facebook, claiming she was the victim. BS. I left my husband after 6 years of his BS, he hit rock bottom, and finally started changing for me and our kids. Whew!... I don't recommend the rollercoaster ride that comes with narcissists. They're just miserable people who need to feel less miserable than you, so they put you through hell until they get bored of you.

[@sylviaduncan6663]

Whenever you start saying no to them. You will see the real them 😢😢😢

[@Oceansgreen]

They need to feel needed and of value, always looking for praise, attention and admiration. They can’t handle criticism, not being the one in control, being questioned….they aren’t able to have a reasonable discussion, it always ends up in an argument or they walk out or clam up!! They are extremely difficult people to live with, you’re always walking on egg shells, have to think before you say anything incase you say something that upsets them and they go into one of their famous rages. Life is so much better not living with a narc.

[@LaPinturaBella]

I was discarded a week ago. Because of my "anger." LMAO, I only stated what I needed in this "relationship". Oh the horror. Thank you, I just gained my freedom!!! Renamed him in my phone as "Pain" and blocked him. This way I won't mistakenly answer when he eventually calls for the inevitable hoover. Let him think he's won. It's a hollow "victory." I feel 100,000 times lighter.

[@empreenergy3376]

Lol...i named mine the devil in my phone😂😂😂😂😂 never answer the devil when he calls! 😂😂😂😂

[@zedmoe]

The one's I knew would love bomb/devalue/discard all in one visit, like a mini fix, or just honing the skills. They knew they didn't have much of a window to get even with me, for making them feel more insecure than they already were. I recognized the pattern of behaviour, long before I knew the clinical term for it, and cut them off. Just got too creepy around them and their constant need for reassurance. This is genuinely how they regulate their emotions, and self-validate themselves.

[@marcustrajan4873]

Oh boy, been through break-ups (good and/or bad) and been ghosted but whoa, a narc discard is something else. The physical effects that accompanied the devaluing stage and then the discard were ones I would not want to ever put myself or anyone through.

[@wimw.8637]

I hear you and know exactly where you have been through... they are beasts.

[@ladyvirgo013]

Thanks for this information. I was brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years. He completely blindsided me and he enjoyed it.

[@Someonne_dot_com]

Yes. The discard was abrupt. Suddenly she disappeared, without an explanation.

[@donnashaw6890]

The discard would be theme best thing that’s ever happened to my sanity!

[@carlthornton1831]

I have a MS in Psychology and I went through all of the steps, "Love Bombing, shaming, gaslighting, triangulation and discard through greyrocking once I did research on the behavior and let the woman know that I knew what she is and what she was doing...

[@wimw.8637]

And how did she react?

[@carlthornton1831]

@@wimw.8637 She said "Put a handle on it, it's Ms. Narcissist. " Then we both greyrocked each other...it's been 6 months NC... I'm getting back to my old self...✅️👍🏼👌

[@jeffreyexposito3803]

​@@wimw.8637She discarded

[@RaeKaeB]

It was a blessing I was discarded, that’s all I needed to hear!

[@judycrawford4415]

I am and was supremely blessed to let him go!

[@paulwisdom1090]

What happened why you let him go Judy?

[@johnpichla9557]

That was a great explanation video. I experienced all those situations before I even knew what narcissist personality disorder was. I spinned my wheels for year's 🤣🤔

[@sleepydoppy8516]

You will never get closure with a narc. I allowed it to happen 3 times.

[@forensicfaithinprofiling]

You did get closer. The way they mistreated and abused you is the closure. We can never expect a demon to say they're sorry or come change their behavior. They handed us the pain, we take that pain, and we heal. YOU have all the power now & YOU are the closure!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@L.Fontein7]

Maybe you could flip the script. You are loving, emotionally healthy and optimistic enough that you tried two more times. That takes courage, strength and guts. I commend you.👏👏👏

[@sleepydoppy8516]

@@L.Fontein7 ok. You got a smile. Thank you

[@SenSakura-dj6bq]

I really have a problem with closure. 18 months after the discard. I don't love that person, I don't miss her, I don't fantasize about getting back together, and yet I feek like I am not healing. I am still enraged and ruminate with all the abuse, cheating, lying, manipulation, extorsion, humiliation. I just want to stop thinking about that person and just focus in my life again.

[@sleepydoppy8516]

@@SenSakura-dj6bq I'm at 8 months and feel the same wY. It sucks and I'm sorry you are going through this also.

[@AaronMartell-b9f]

Just looking for people to take care of them.

[@Someonne_dot_com]

Still suffering from the sudden discard

[@JadaGates]

Me too, I am in so much pain…

[@sharoneh8929]

After a few months of dating, while we were engaged, the "worm" married someone else. I was blindsided, because he never broke up with me💔. I confronted him right before the discard, he refused to give any reasons for his change of behavior. I saw the demon 👹, when he talked about holding grudges. What a shocker, but I am Free now😮. God is keeping and HEALING me✝️. I realized the rejection was the best thing that could have happened⭐. I found out new info about him✅. So glad it is Over💯. The new supply has no idea that she's in a demonic entrapment❗What gems in this video and spot on rational given to explain the discard with details accurately... The discard was brutal, and I gave myself closure to move forward. Be empowered to act in your own best interests and be kind to yourself 💕💕💕. Light and Love to all going through a discard. It will get better and the Best is yet to COME 🎯.

[@roflcopter4273]

Me too, me too. Please stay strong.

[@sharoneh8929]

@@roflcopter4273Will do. Each day gets better...

[@ianstewart942]

Mine made false domestic abuse accusations against me with support from her narcissistic daughter to. Went to court ,i was found not guilty of 3 charges brought against me. The lies in court by them over a tv screen were evil and wicked,trying to paint me as a dangerous person. I could sense in the court that the Sheriff,my defence solicitor and the prosecution couldn't believe what was being said by them both. They both even couldn't remember what they had said on thier statements to the police Infact the daughter said different to what her mother had said in parts to what they were accusing me of. Take note. I loved this woman with all my heart ,we were due to get married to. In fact over a 4 year period with this woman she had hid from me that she was still legally married,after telling me from the start of our relationship that she was divorced. This came out in court. So there are some really,evil,devious,lieing people out there.

[@familylifescienceeducation5227]

The end is difficult. People will sometimes believe that the narc is the victim. No one knows who is who because so many lies have been told. However, a defining characteristic can sometimes be that the person who is not willing to trash the other person and who kept trying to seek help and who is not abusing substances...that person may be...may be....the non-narc. But that too has to be investigated. The only thing I can say is hold judgment because the non-narc was in a carnival of horror and is likely very disoriented and haven't entirely been themselves in such a long while that it adds another layer of difficulty in learning who is who.

[@MaryDBethany]

The last time I was discarded was when I was in intensive care, after waking from a coma. I had preeclampsia and then after being bullied in the few visits to the hospital that my husband made, I went into full toxemia. After an emergency C-section, I started having seizures and nothing was stopping the seizures. I eventually went into a coma. When I woke from the coma, no husband was at my side. (In the coma for 3 days). When he was notified that I was out of the coma, he came by the hospital in a few days and dumped me. (Both I and the baby were in bad shape, and I think he thought if he dumped me fast, then he wouldn't have responsibility for either of us. I tried to talk him out of this (I know, stupid me). When I finally got out of the hospital, he was more and more abusive to me (until he tried to choke me out). (He was still living in my house, but saying the marriag to me.e was over). After the near death, I told him to get out. He refused to leave , And told him that he better leave, or I was. calling the police. He left. I never reported him. I realize now that his wanting out was the best thing that could have happened to me. The attack in which I thought I was losing my life, and also a later request from his psychiatrist to meet with me, in which he made it clear that I needed to get out, that I was in danger and that he would never be a different person. The psychiatrist also gave me his diagnosis of NPD. and sociopathic (and "arrested at an adolescent way station"). Since then I never stayed with a male who made me uncomfortable in the slightest. I have dated some nice men, but never was able to accept proposals of marriage. Just too damaged for that. My father and mother were narcs (my mother covert), then I married 3 narcs, the last one, the one who tried to choke me to death. Never married again, and do not date anyone past the first time they make me uncomfortable, or engage in any kind of gaslighting. Been there, done that. I attract narcs because I am a people pleaser, and am a nice person. SO even in my older age people ask me out and then boom, there is another narc, and boom I am out of the relationship, always before I have slept with them. (I take things very slow, and I say when something bothers me). It has been a tough life, but I am very happy on my own. It served me well during the pandemic. Still would like to be in a partnership with a kind and honest man, but will NEVER fall for a narc again, including family. Sadly, I have some narc kids, grown and successful. I raised them alone. I was devastated for a long time, but now my life feels more precious to me, and I practice deep-breathing if I think of them. Once a scapegoat always a scapegoat. Now I just remove my mind and body from those who have hurt me. Thank you so much for your videos, they have been so helpful to me. You know your stuff for sure. I am an expert through all the hell I have been through, but you have expanded my understanding which I really appreciate!! Your phrasing of your knowledge helps me a lot. Anyone watching these videos, PLEASE believe what you are hearing. Do not live in misery any time more than you have to. And if any one assaults you or a child, report them immediately and get them out of the home immediately. DO not let them return. Never have sex with them again. My best wishes to all the women and men who have been through this hell. Especially you young people, you can be more naive like I was.

[@jimmoravec1326]

We weren’t being naïve we did what normal people do and put our trust in someone we love. I had no idea what a narcissist even was until I seen some of these videos that described what was happening to me to a T. These people are down right demons in the flesh. I didn’t think someone could be so evil and uncaring. They have to be demonic because they don’t fear God because if they did they wouldn’t be treating people who love them so evil.

[@baharrrr]

Mine cheated on me while I was having a stroke, lost part of my vision due to it, and in the recovering stages. After I learned about it, he tried to dump me. The first reason he gave was, with a condensending look while towering me, "You walk slow and you eat slow. You're not independent. The other woman (the one who he cheated on me with) walks faster and and she and I are both independent. Also, your music taste is bad." I was walking slow due to the horrific health ailment I had...I get the feeling how it is when you understand when your life's in danger that someone you thought loved you, is actually a monster who wouldn't care as long as they can replace you. It sucks like few things else in this life sucks...I just don't want to lose hope. There must be some decent people out there. Maybe we'll meet some one day. Stay strong ❤🫂

[@DaRyteJuan]

Thanks for this video. After I reestablished and enforced a boundary, the discard came almost instantaneously. I asked for an apology and got no response either. At least I have your video which confirms I did the exact right thing.

[@Pandaexpress22]

This video just gave me closure 😂 I got discarded and feel so blessed!

[@mikegio78]

Me too. I am struggling but these videos do help

[@AW-kr9fl]

So true. Every time I got close to the truth she would give me the silent treatment or block me. The discard happened when I called her out rather aggressively. She unblocked me two years later but I did my research on NPD and BPD through videos like this and lots of reading. Now everything makes sense and I know all her games and manipulation tactics.

[@anantvirshid1766]

Keep healthy boundaries, and you will get discarded! Awesome analysis. Keep up the good work.

[@lexilcott5747]

Hi Jill, you have made a very positive impact on me. I have a life full of female narcissists of various types and just got "out of" a relationship with one. She is now refusing to respect my boundaries and insists on coming to my place of work where I feel trapped. I guess it's time to go grey rock. Thank you Jill 🙏🌠💚

[@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696]

Sounds like it's time for a restraining order...

[@lauragadille3384]

My narcissistic father was definitely doing this, he discarded me before his passing. It really hurts when I loved him so much.

[@lindaguy1808]

Excellent excellent video Jill. Thanks so much for all you do here! ❤

[@jimmoravec1326]

Yup been through all of this on the list. The hurt and broken heart got pushed aside by anger now I’m ready for battle

[@jtl9283]

My ex was super sweet and kind the first few months and then blew up on me because I was "leaving her" after spending all day with her for her family christmas when in reality I just had to go home to sleep as I had work the next morning. She took it super personal despite me explaining that it wasn't. It went downhill from there. She asked for space then came back and we hung out one more time then continued acting hot and cold until she broke up with me via text RIGHT before my birthday party.

[@HlobHlobHlob]

This happened to me! I set boundaries and he cheated and gone!

[@venitagreer1404]

I agree everything you said about them discard you all point to me he discard me from 1-10 no closure , no warning I'm still going through this bad how he treat me 17 years in this man did everything for him, beside his side when he was down on his luck so much energy,time, money down the drain with him no from love from him all these he gave false hope to and he future fake now I'm left with no and no family especially his they all side with him on all the bad things he to people.

[@kat-75]

Yay. Thankfully. Freedom to be me.

[@ChrisS-vt8bw]

Mine wanted to discard me because of a new supply (who's currently married with children) and because the narcissist's Mom moved out of the house (abandonment issues). Now that the narcissist has been immersed in work and the crisis has passed, the discard is no longer mentioned. I'm still planning my exit strategy as I wait for the other shoe to drop or I'm in a position where I can leave. I keep myself safe and am in therapy. I am arming myself with knowledge like these videos. I would prefer to be discarded. Hanging on and pretending things are okay is torture, but I know techniques on how to deal with the narcissist better which makes this situation more tolerable.

[@HipHop-vg7cd]

30 years married to one, finally got the terminology I needed to describe this hell! You are spot on, take warning folks. I’m grateful there is more info and knowledge about this subject now so others don’t waste their lives on these soul suckers like a lot of us have. I thought I was losing my mind and blamed myself for so much of his wrong doing for decades. In addition to making excuses for how hard he worked which is why he was ALWAYS absent from our lives! Little did I know!!! I finally got in that locked phone of his, boy was my gut ever right. That phone stayed glued to him like another limb on his body. UNREAL the ish they put you through 😡🤬

[@TimothyTaylor-i1v]

Excellent video, Mrs. Wise! Nice clear break down on the subject. I don't see how anyone could have a question about the outcome on this matter. Very informative! Good night Mrs. Wise.

[@dazpearce2096]

Good content as always Jill - and thanks for it. Made me think of a narcisstic person I knew 20 years ago - cycled through 'boyfriends' like most people change their socks. Must have been well into double figures in the couple of years I was acquainted with her. Interestingly enough I never heard her so much as say that she 'really liked' any of them, but then why would she? I mean...do people 'really like' a kettle or a toaster? When it stops working do we cry or go out and replace it? You nailed it J - this is how narcisstic people view other human beings...

[@noormohamed2991]

Spot on! Very accurate ❤

[@Someonne_dot_com]

The ending of your video was such a blessing and so empowering

[@dmanmoto]

What is this s*** This is exactly what happened to me.. I didn't even believe this shit was possible. Everything you said was my life with my ex Fiance. Oh my god this is my life story with her.

[@markcooper9033]

Ms Jill...thank you again for your hard work and determination to put out purposeful content re narc abuse and recovery.☝️ This one was another homerun!💪👱‍♀️👍 Keep up the good work

[@HaroldAnderson-wc3sz]

I am dealing with a female covert narcissist. She ghosted or discarded, absolute pain. I have been leaning towards spirituality. GOD wouldn’t you know I was shown what I was dealing with and I’m armed with the love Jesus. I’m not any kind of religious person, can’t believe what I’m living. It’s amazing

[@Swesum24]

💯 video! SPOT ON!

[@bonitagleisle2470]

I know what I’m looking for now and can expect it but it still is would crushing every time like a glimpse of hope the get crushed every time

[@isaacweru8084]

They are good points to use when you want to lose them out of our lives. These people are very tiring.

[@blackswan1983]

I got dumped by my "best friend" of 4 years on mothers day. She knew it was a raw day for me. In retrospect, she planned it to be as painful as possible.

[@Someonne_dot_com]

You are 💯 I experienced everything you mentioned. And the reasons. You are spot on.

[@JadaGates]

I needed this because I keep trying to explain it… what did I do wrong.. I tried so hard to please him… nothing I ever did was ever good enough.. I’m so broken… I carried him thru his worst times and was just thrown to the side like trash and the lies he told were atrocious.. he controlled my every move including purposely keeping me at home and buying the groceries and not wanting me to lose weight or be healthy… I really was blind and thought he cared for me.

[@marciasimpson8852]

Thrown away like an old pair if shoes, thats how I felt

[@JadaGates]

@@marciasimpson8852 me too

[@greghayes7933]

We were together for 20 plus years ….once I finally confronted her on why she hadn’t touched me for the last 5 plus years pow she kicked me to the curb …last 10 years were brutal …thanks again for your spot on videos ❤

[@KATOGOJIRA7223]

She couldn't control me 😂😂😂😂

[@Regirl75]

Oh my word, you pegged it. My friends and family said my STBX treated our marriage like a business. 30 years together, he cheated, said it ended but found out recently that he’s had an on and off relationship with the same woman for half our marriage and the kicker is there are two innocent little girls that came from it. No accountability, silent treatment.. kept me around for what?! Ugh, I’m so disturbed but slowly healing and getting back my life back. It’s a him problem now, I don’t want it.

[@Healing_Oaks]

What does STBX mean?

[@Regirl75]

@@Healing_Oaks soon to be ex

[@aaaaaa8584]

thank you.. your incredible free knowledge sharing. it is make me clear of what happened to me.. and know how to face it.. thank you.

[@theenlightenedtarget]

You are so welcome

[@ging-a-roo2429]

My husband deployed for a year. I got the discard he didn’t call me for the entire year. Yes we emailed, and the Dayi didn’t email him, he protested. He told me he would not call cause he didn’t want to hear me complain.

[@etherealdeal1792]

Wow. Thank u so much for the pep talk at the end and the info validating what I’ve been through. After a sudden narcissistic discard following me calling him out and seeing him for what he is,and him vocally fearing I was gonna break up with him, I’ve been shattered crying so much and chasing feeling crazy… I feel way better knowing this behavior is unfortunately a common pattern and that it is for the best to receive the discard. Thank you god bless you for sharing 🙏🏼🙏🏼💜

[@skybengal]

I mentioned to my x narc the week b4 she discarded me after 41/2 years that I’d had enough. Enough of her behaviour and false accusations. I was becoming poorly as a result of all the stress. She knew I was on to her and I even sent her a KZbin video on narcism a few months prior. She clearly decided to get the upper hand and discard me first & she made sure she dumped me on my birthday and my mum was in hospital with a heart attack. I noticed she was heavily on her phone and protective of her phone at this time!! These are cold monsters playing mind games with their victims. I let her discard me ( she did it by a text) and never even replied because I felt it was the path of least resistance. I just wanted peace! It has damaged me however I’m a fighter so I’ll beat this. These ppl are masters of manipulation however they won’t be able to dodge their karma. I wish I could be a fly on the wall but I trust in God who will show her the pain she’s dished out and show her the error of her ways.

[@rhondacooper2020]

I just found you today! I love what you have to say! It’s just so true ! And massively uplifting. It so impacted my day for healthy good. Just reminded who I am. That has been stolen. Rebuilding.

[@fpitts8025]

GIRLLLLLL YOU ARE THE BOMB💣💣 Everything you said is 💯 truth🤩 Very enjoyable!!!

[@johnnytoronto1066]

Well done! ALL that you have said here jives with my experience 100%. Thank you very much.

[@theenlightenedtarget]

You're very welcome

[@pilowgems]

When you succeed and they can no longer ignore it, your achievements dwarf theirs and they know , as is clear as day you are better. This usually happens if financially you're rich and they are not, even though they thought you were less than them.

[@josicordova1802]

This video is so validating for me.. thank you 🙏

[@aquagirl9228]

You got this, right on target! Love you Jill ❤️🙏

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Love you right back. ❤️

[@Sportsman-11topsit]

WOW…!!! Amazing… you have just described a description of times in a …to the “TEE” as it’s said… On the exact ways in my life and times living …it’s been 28 years … past 2 … all in last phases.. discard times… !!! Thank you…!!! Whatever you’re doing… keep it up…. Cause it’s working..!!! Sincerely, Clay

[@Leokat334]

Omg! You’re describing my ex husband & my kids! With my ex I was exhausted and tired of stroking his ego. I had other things to do like kids to raise. As soon as I set boundaries and said no he discarded me and replaced me with 20 something year olds. He always went after young naive newly recovering drug addicts. He did the evil smear campaign and turned my kids against me. I couldn’t tolerate him anymore and I saw right through him. He STILL stays in my life by friending my cousins and aunts on fb along with my sisters! I’m unfriending my family bc we’ve been divorced for 15 years now. He acts like I can’t get over him and he’s the cock of the walk. He infuriates me! I do have reactive abuse after 20 years of his crap tho. That only gave him ammunition! He acts like a pathetic victim to everyone. He’s so mild and a good guy 🙄 whatever whoever wants him can have him. You can’t even be nice to them bc they think you want them. The moment I started dating someone he nutted up and started texting the guy and harassing him. This went on for 4 years. Honestly I’m so exhausted. Now my kids behave like him. I tried to tell a therapist about this when my kids were younger and they acted like I’m crazy. I’ve lost all 3 of my children now. And he is dangerously vengeful, malicious, deceitful and cruel.

[@437Colie]

I am able to identify with everything you mentioned & most of the comments from the community. Thank you for the valuable information & i feel validated by your videos. He knew i was on to him because i stopped cooking & cleaning as much & stopped showing interest & let him know im getting an apartment because the future we planned was a lie. Not realizing it was called future fakimg. When i sighed the new lease out of the city because hes a COP so i wantrd to not live in the sane area he really started to rage, lie, silent treatment, crying etc. He wouldn't allow me to come to our shared home with my mover. I had to give my mover a list of the things i wanted. Believe someone that I love and took care of for so long treating me as though I'm nobody

[@GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp]

🎉🎉🎉🎉 thank you young lady you're beautiful and I will appreciate so much yes I'm working on myself and been already two years I'm going with these videos and yes very thankful

[@nicholaspuglia8519]

Thank You!

[@theenlightenedtarget]

You're welcome!I’m

[@Patricia-jb8bc]

Excellent video. I cant express how grateful i am to see it and to be able to share it with people. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[@veruc_w]

Very good list. Straight to the point. Thanks a lot ❤ its tremendously valuable

[@tybrown7096]

I used to be in relationships with men like this for years at a time. Now that I’m divorced, I guess I’m not completely healed but I figure them out quickly. If I say anything about it or ignore them, they “discard “ me but I saw it first. I’ll say hey that’s not okay and then boom they leave.

[@SusieRobinson-v7m]

I can't believe how accurate this is. Thank you for the clarity

[@DJSmoothie]

There's a million videos like this and they all say the same thing - if you were discarded, consider yourself lucky. All I can think of is my poor lil kids and that I need to get back to them to protect them, to provide them that one parent who's about peace, love and happiness - to her drama filled life of mayhem and the toxicity to the people around it. Lord, please steer me in the right direction.

[@breandabrown4683]

My narc ex just recently stringed me along for his 2 yr prison sentence where I faithfully provided for him financially, mentally, and physically. I have 2 children from a previous relationship who built their own relationship with him and I had our daughter while he was incarcerated. He just recently came home and discarded us all and walked out on us without warning (spent 1 day with us physically in the free world only and left) so at first this was hurtful. But now I'm learning to see the blessing in his actions. It's his loss and our gain.

[@motowngirl5891]

Let him discard, if you discard they become very dangerous

[@zenmaiden1]

Thank you Jill for this concise summary. I did the separation due to bad behavior , jealous of adult kids , he made tons of excuses about his horrible behavior blaming me and kids. Once I did that sep, he came back to tell me we don’t need to work on anything he’s done, so he tried to be on top for the record as the winner. His abuse did ramp up over a 12 mo period prior , I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. There wasn’t a valid reason for any of it . I also took care of him through 6 surgeries , all just a waste of my time. I have to listen to this video again and again .. I’m still feeling the loss of those years. ( not him).

[@rosepraveen6676]

Listening to your explanation made me acknowledge what is going with my life and tackling it well. Thank you for this video.

[@dianalyall3402]

I just heard the end.. thankyou for saying that

[@mayokunoyesiku4878]

1. I couldn’t get proof. But I replaced the old supply that lived in the same complex with her. She triangulated us. So I can’t rule this out 2. I knew I was in trouble when she saw the books I bought on narcissism 3. I stopped sending money. She had a healthy allowance even though it was long (11k miles apart) relationship 4. I started sticking to my boundaries 5. I started calling her out and that didn’t go well. Oh boy !!! 6. Oh this broke the camel’s back. I called her out on the gaslighting. Supplied proofs. She lost it. I was expecting an apology, instead I got the Silent Treatment 7. I stopped being her slave. I can’t even type some of the things I was doing 8. Surely, she was definitely bored and started entertaining men in her grooming cycle. She would disappear for hope 9. Oh, I dealt with this early. I was so needy, I was having panic attacks. 10. She knew I knew.

[@linamohamed8824]

he left me wondering and lost why he did that and i started doubting that maybe someone made a brain wash to him about me!! do they come back after the discard?

[@carmensmithaguirre3049]

Thank you for this!

[@tonykahil144]

so great explanation thank you

[@fireupyourheartfortruth]

Thank you so much!❤

[@J2-pe6wz]

They say every narc ruins 9 lives on average.

[@Carla-pp4ru]

That’s the thing, I read that one out of 10 people are narcissistic enough to be called a narcissist (not talking about full blown NPD). And I thought, yeah but that one in 10 is ruining the life of the other 9, so something needs to be done to actually successfully treat narcissists instead of saying “they usually don’t go to treatment”. Both things need to happen: the world needs to learn about narcissism so we can avoiding these people, and there needs to be effective, affordable and readily available treatment for them. Some of them are willing to at least try getting treatment.

[@DemonSlayer_ISTJ]

Thank you.

[@barishankhonglah4690]

Bull's eye. thankyou.

[@jojowales]

Thanks

[@theenlightenedtarget]

Thank you so much! 🙏

[@Carla-pp4ru]

Such a brilliant video, everything was spot on and I needed to hear it. Thank you.

[@99luftbaloons1]

There's just not enough thumbs up to give this video 😊 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@baconknightt]

My ex wife had me in the devalue stage for well over a year shed say:"If you do more, if you work harder, if you didnt make me angry, and yes i had to give her all my attention, all the time. An argument over nothing that lasted for 6 hours, until 2 am. I kept trying to juat apologize, and accept what she said, but it dodnt matter. Id then have to get up at 5 am to go to work. This would happen for days or even weeks. I was mentally exhausted. It didnt matter to her because shed go to bed and sleep until noon. Shed be fresh and rested by the time i got hone. Only for her to start the cycle again.She tell me " you have no reason to be angry at me for cheating/lying because it was all your fault." I was left alone in an empty apartment. I called her out for alot of stuff. But apparently it was all my fault. She took everything, even the stuff i bought. It was only a few weeks before i got divorce papers, and a week after the R.O. Apparently being an active duty US MARINE meant i could bring home a machine gun??🤔🤔. I didnt see our sons 1st birthday, 2nd birthday, and almost 3rd birthday. By the time id seen him again, i was a stranger to him. Everything you listed in this video, brings back so many flashbacks She had several boyfriends lined up. Gaslighting was constant. Control was i had to call her 5 minutes after getting off work and id have 15 minutes to get home. If it took me 30 minutes there was a fight. If i called her to tell her i was on my way home, but i woke her up, it was a fight. If i made it in 15 minutes getting home, i easnt allowed to go shower, or get something to eat, or go to bed, or watch tv. She was watching tv and on the computer, and i just had to sit there, watching what she was sorta watching. Usually a talk show like Oprah, or the 4 others that followed. I felt very isolated, trapped, controlled My only saving sanity was taking care of our son.making him happy made me happy. But she took that from me as well 😠

[@IllDawgable]

I got discarded during the 3rd week of dating. She had already found a new supply and my mistake was questioning the suspicious things she posted on whatsapp status. She didn't want to tell me because she wanted to use me financially but I guess I don't deserve to voice out any discomfort I may feel. She quickly devalued and discarded in 2 days. Currently on 19 days of no contact.