The Nativity Story (as told by Seth Andrews)

In a recent livestream, Seth wondered how he might relate the baby Jesus story to children. Then, he vamped it for 5 minutes.
Viewers have asked for his rendition as a stand-alone clip. Enjoy!

[@OZARKWOOD52]

I'm a 71 year old man whose mother and father were BOTH ministers. (why couldn't I have been an orphan?) THAT WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS STORY EVER!

[@zaineridling]

Seth's sense of humor is never far from the surface. Love this guy. Thanks for the laugh, and Happy Festivus!

[@lindapendleton9176]

Thanks for the reminder. Almost missed FESTIVS

[@NTGreekGal]

Not the feats of strength!!!

[@rowdy.rockers]

Festivis for the rest of us

[@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307]

Well the having to go to bethleham for the census (which is not a thing that ever was a roman law ) was add much latter to try and make jeusus of NAZERETH meet the requirements for the jewish messiah which he does not thus proving christianity doesn texist!

[@adammoore7447]

Thanks, I needed a good laugh. I live in a (very) Catholic country in South America and have to keep my mouth closed around this time of year. When I see the "Nativity scene" displayed in peoples' houses, that they literally believe actually happened, I have a hard time not asking them some questions. Instead, I just go along with the traditions, feel sorry for their brainwashing, and enjoy the time with family.

[@rbaxter286]

The true meaning is known to the HUMANS who are just happy the mother avoided a stoning, the child and mother survived the birth, and the step-father seems to have loved and supported them both? If only the same were unfailingly true in Gaza this Holy Christian Foreign Military Aid Holiday?

[@glendalamadrid5567]

I am from the Philippines, we are all catholic. I also have a nativity made of wood. I also keep my mouth shut about religion. The nativity is kept shut somewhere.

[@billyd5317]

That's a very good response. Tough sometimes.

[@Mehki227]

Same... Just🙄 and go along. Plus, I really like Christmas. One of my favorite holidays. Zero religious connotations for me. Fun azz holiday!

[@joeyj6808]

So, um...Felix Notvalid! Si, como no?

[@martyb4199]

I had to go back and listen to that last part again since I couldn’t stop laughing at the “…turning himself into a bloody meat piñata…” line. Oh, my stomach hurts.

[@Ex_christian]

The TRUE nativity story! Love it! All in the Christian cult need to watch this!

[@OpenBiolabsGuy]

They would just reject it. Each of the 45,000+ denominations would come up with their own goal post moving excuses.

[@Ex_christian]

@@OpenBiolabsGuy yep, which you bringing up the 45,000+ denominations, or actually cults since none can agree on anything in the Bible.

[@darrenshark73]

Thank you for the spin on the popular fairy tale! As an exfundamentalist baptist, I love how you tie pretty much the beginning up to the nativity. Take the money flow n tax free status of these cults you'd see a bunch of them disappear tout d'suit!😂

[@jacksimpson-rogers1069]

Congratulations upon that ex.

[@moldylasagna3549]

I will play this for my kids lol

[@albaniahenry-franklin2829]

I'm definitely gonna' memorize THAT version of the story🤣🤣🤣

[@littlebitofhope1489]

Especially the Meat Piñata part. That was EPIC.

[@hellonewman5855]

It took centuries, but finally we have the definitive presentation on the true meaning of Christmas. Thank you Seth.

[@matthewk7507]

I watched this Live and it was amazing. Seth came up with this on the spot. Much love Seth 🖖🤘❤️

[@oldschoolman1444]

Seth could have made a fortune being a pastor with that buttery voice of his! Glad he decided not to join the dark side! 😅

[@ms.opinion8470]

Just got here and giddy for the Seth Andrews effect on this story!! After watching, I can say, it was everything I wanted and more for the holidays! Shout out to you Mr Andrews and all of the free thinkers! I'm gonna go fake pray with my family this year and watch my mother laugh cause she knows I'm faking lol

[@paulamiller6109]

😂😂😂😂 You're fake praying thing made me LOL. Thank you!

[@ms.opinion8470]

@@paulamiller6109 thank YOU!! May all of our fake prayers come true lolol

[@CatsMeowPaw]

This is the true meaning of Christmas. Thank you Seth 😂

[@leoaguinaldo65]

The Madonna and Child picture in the end is a killer! 😂

[@LazyIRanch]

Isn't it? That baby Jesus is about to hurl. It's been a long time since my son was a baby, but I still recognize barf face

[@debranelson1987]

@@LazyIRanch Or maybe the other end.

[@isaganipalanca8803]

Thanks for this reality check! A friend of mine was caned in school when he was 10 for asking during the religion lesson, if Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel were the first human beinge, who were the people Cain met outside paradise with whom he founded his family etc.... Thuis happened in the Sixties. Religion is a heinous delusion!

[@johntiggleman4686]

@isaganipalanca8803 and the ways they try to explain Cain going to "the Land of Nod." Especially when you say then that means there were other human beings on Earth already, and had built the area. Oh, no, they say...Cain called it that after he got there, from his wandering. But what about his being afraid that "anyone who sees me will try to kill me?" If there were no one there, no one would try to kill him; But what really is a head scratcher (maybe) is how would the inhabitants of Nod know who he was and what he did that would make them want to kill him? I've asked that and all I get are slack-jawed, glazed-eyes expressions.

[@isaganipalanca8803]

@@johntiggleman4686 The Bible is a piece of fiction. Nowadays the mental contortions believers put themselves through to justify its most specious claims is just slightly amusing...

[@kevchard5214]

Seth this version should be made into a play performed around the world.

[@kevchard5214]

Now this is a Epic telling of the Christmas story that should be told. Great job Seth you didn't miss anything in the telling.

[@mimzyc9949]

I would love to share this but everyone I know would be so offended. I feel bad for them 😂

[@elainegoad9777]

Happy Yule and Solstice !

[@elainejohnson6955]

I had to listen to that over and over to try to stop laughing over it. BRILLIANT!

[@troymiller2584]

Reminds me of Seth teaches Sunday School

[@80swoodpanel]

Merry Nonsense, everyone!

[@RubyNeumann]

Laughing myself to tears. Perfect!

[@simonkoster]

Brilliant!😆

[@yongyang4544]

Marvelous job Seth!

[@stevenm.9458]

This is great! Can never get enough of Seth Andrews.😂

[@mr.d.8121]

Yay. Beautiful story.😂

[@sallysmolich5822]

I like to include that when Herod was killing babies, the family sought asylum in Egypt. They were not met by a big beautiful wall and no one yelled, "Go back to your own country!". Baby Jebus' life was saved!

[@vincentcomeau7844]

This comment is so very much what we should all be asking the american right who hate immigrants.

[@kdemetter]

Ok, but isn't that because Egypt at that time was part of the Roman Empire, as was the region where Bethlehem would have been ? So I'm guessing they were able to move relatively freely because of that. And given that there was a significant jewish presence in egypt at the time, I suspect that helped ? Tribalism is of all ages and of all cultures

[@pansepot1490]

⁠@@kdemetter all that doesn’t change the fact that Jesus and his family were refugees. And if we want to miss the point the OP was making and get pedantic let’s do it right. The whole story never happened historically. It was a literary device that Matthew used to draw a connection between Jesus and Moses.

[@jacksimpson-rogers1069]

I particularly detest and fortunately do not believe the prediction by Isaiah of the women in Bethlehem mourning their slain children, which I think is the source of the story of the three learned astrologers who were too stupid to verify that King Herod had a recent son, For one thing, Herod was dead by the time of zero AD. In the second place, the Almighty One did nothing to prevent the child slaughter.

[@cutoverpark5744]

@@pansepot1490And Moses never existed either so well said…😊

[@Fair-to-Middling]

I have a list, checking it twice, going to send this video to whoever has been naughty or nice! 🎅

[@marcfitkin8789]

That just made my day

[@Wolf.51.50]

What a beautiful story 😂 This was awesome. Even more because it was improvised 👏👏👏

[@cuthbert2546]

Oh, Seth! What a heartwarming Christmas story! I just feel all warm and fuzzy. Thank you!

[@adamc1966]

Tomorrow this needs to be shown in every church 👍🙏

[@electriccane3320]

I want to send this to my Christian friends and family but they probably won't listen to the end.😂😂

[@StopWhining491]

Resist the impulse.

[@Ex_christian]

No they won’t. The Christian cult cannot handle truth!

[@1gocos]

Send it anyway.

[@tomschmidt381]

That was my initial thought but chose not to, but for us non-believers it is a great story.

[@cherylmcelveen2817]

They'll destroy you if you do that. Those people are extremely dangerous!

[@searats20]

Thanks for this, Seth!! Listening to this story will be a new Christmas tradition in my household =)

[@kurtj.9656]

Magnificent satire!!👍👍👍👏👏👏

[@thomasg627]

It never fails to amaze me how a story so obviously false can still have over a billion people believing in it. Says something about how powerful the indoctrination of children before they reach the age of reason really is and proves it's a form of child abuse.

[@pb5640]

Yes, it’s a form of child abuse and an acquired mental illness.

[@MrAuskiwi101]

Yes child indoctrination is the only real means for the cults survival. But of course hundreds of years of believe or else has help it infiltrate many areas of society. It will 'die hard' but it will, in the west anyway.

[@moniquedelaney7958]

Merci monsieur . C’est très chouette .

[@jamesschneider2091]

Seth has me opening my Chirstian Holy Bible book of sadistic, incestuous, pornographic and genocidal fiction & fairy tales for moral edification 😉 ... Happy New Year of SECULAR REASON TO ALL!

[@Mehki227]

Manm I've tried so many times to read that book...can't get past the incest😳

[@kentjensen5216]

Thanks for making me laugh at the idiocy of something that I used to believe in without question.

[@sidstovell2177]

Jeezus, Seth, I needed this belly laugh. Thank you so much.

[@cannabotany]

Wonderful story telling ❤

[@jayjasonjayman1]

That was incredible seth. Thank you.

[@mattynutrition9353]

He would definitely play hacky sac.

[@shellysimon6392]

Gotta love ya Seth! Happy Holidays to you and your family :)

[@SerpentineSeiđr]

Fantastic telling of the nativity, plus context. Will play it for my cats to teach them about christmas. Happy Sol Invictus! 🖤🤘☀️

[@Maryfs1]

I'm listening to this every Christmas from now on.

[@BrianForTheWin]

Nothing entertains and demystifies quite like irreverent humor well executed. Thanks for the hearty laugh.

[@donnasherland1420]

That is the BEST explanation of Christianity l have ever heard! It summarizes every thought I ever gleaned from all my years as a kid in Sunday School and as a teenager in church activity mandated by my parents until they realized I didn't want to go anymore. Everything I was taught in school or read on my own convinced me that every story in the bible was not and could not be true. As a voracious reader I figured out it is fiction and it is bad storytelling to boot. Terrible editing is the least of its problems. Greek mythology was MUCH more entertaining. Just about anything is. Doesn't hold even a teeny tiny candle to The Lord of the Rings. Now that is great fiction. All hale Tolkien!

[@ybrynecho2368]

Yeah. That's about it. Thanks Seth, and Merry Xmas to you and your family.

[@mariavaleriagiacaglia8974]

Great job, Seth! Thanks!

[@judyforsyth5782]

Hahaha well done Seth. 👏👏👏. Can’t help it still say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU & YOUR BEAUTIFUL WIFE 🎄🎅🏼🦌🎁🍾🦃❤️. HAPPY NEW YEAR TOO 🎆🎆🎆. I Treasure The Thinking Atheist. ❤❤

[@trabob4438]

Thankyou Seth for this christmas message.

[@judythompson8227]

I love this man. His delivery is perfect.

[@DG-cu1vt]

This is just what I needed today. I laughed myself silly! Thank you, Seth!

[@katherineg9396]

Seth, you are too much. Happy New Year!

[@aintquitewright1480]

Christmas is usually a happy time, but this story is the Wart On Christmas.

[@peterleonard49]

“Mom, why can’t we see Uncle Seth anymore?”

[@williamhastie2772]

😂😂😂

[@katieluebcke9867]

Hmm...As someone who always got the Luke version on Christmas Eve (obviously read from one of my Pentecostal minister Grandma's old bibles, of course)...This is much more accurate.

[@miaomiaochan]

Seth should narrate every audio book. Seriously...that voice.

[@tucsonorganist]

Well played, Mr Andrews!

[@jeffreyschrader6164]

That was fantastic! Thank you

[@rudeinterplanetjanet]

Such a lovely inspiring story for this wonderful holiday season.

[@darntootin2006]

I can't wait until they make the movie!

[@darcygilbert1353]

This made my Xmas! 🤶

[@MovieMakingMan]

Merry MythMas!

[@eemer2437]

Just what I needed to get thru this! Great entertainment.

[@cowboyboots123]

I love this, Seth!😂 All the best to you and Natalie in 2024.

[@Letts_prey]

“Once upon a time” seems an apt start. That’s what I write after crossing out “In the beginning” in any bible I come across 😁

[@marklivingstone3710]

I have not been able to watch a nativity play without laughing ever since I saw the Life of Brian😊. Other takes on the Bible story that have always made me laugh are Dudley Moore in Wholly Moses and scenes in Mel Brooks History of the World (ie the 15 Commandments).

[@Letts_prey]

“He is the messiah! I should know, I’ve followed a few.”

[@njhoepner]

Those are all great scenes. Love those fifteen...TEN! TEN Commandments!

[@LazyIRanch]

@@Letts_prey But he's NOT the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy!

[@Letts_prey]

@@LazyIRanch “Excuse me……. If it’s not too personal a question, are you a virgin?” ‘She is’ “Yeah, she is”

[@rswolfcmh]

Thanks, Seth! This is the BEST ❤

[@kenhoover1639]

I love this! I wish that I was brave enough to post this on facebook, but alas, I am not! Merry Christmas Seth!

[@ginafrancis4950]

😂Thank you!

[@rolfsimonsson2295]

Thank you Seth, for this compressed yet detailed bed-crime story. It’s too bad we missed out on those three decades of the story of jeezuz. But anyway I wish you a Merry Christmas 👋🎅🏻🔔🎁🎄⛄️🌟

[@johanreyneke5837]

What a lovely story. It brings tears to my eyes. Thanks Seth. It's so inspiring.....in a way. Lol

[@jane-marie3289]

This was just too funny for words. Still blowing my nose from laughing so hard.

[@badnewsBH]

That was so beautiful. 😢

[@KeithCooper-Albuquerque]

Excellent Seth! Happy Holidays to you and yours!

[@KeytarKris]

The greatest story ever made up and believed by the naive. Happy holidays.

[@eminence_front6043]

Well said...

[@soupdragonuk]

I am sitting here laughing like hell. The sense of humour in this is hilarious.

[@joycesky5041]

HAPPY HEATHEN HOLIDAY SEASON SETH! LOVE YOU BROTHER!!! 🧑‍🎄🌲☃️🧑‍🎄🌲☃️ ❤❤❤❤❤

[@elizabethreade1950]

Best Christmas Story ever, 👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍🇨🇦

[@robertcartier5088]

Love it!

[@JO-md7le]

This is hilarious! You still got it Seth, thanks for the good laugh!

[@lmccahill45]

That was fantastic! Thank you so much for this Seth, if only this would have been the story that I had been told as a kid in the evangelical cult that I was raised in. Happy Festivus Seth!

[@JoeSmith-cy9wj]

Seth, If they were this truthful, I might even join.

[@waynemiller6070]

Hard to believe THIS mythology lasted this long while so many others were dismissed for being so ridiculous. 🤦‍♂️

[@njhoepner]

THAT is the true christian miracle.

[@pricklypear7516]

@@njhoepner WELL before the time of Christ, it was no "miracle." It was the cutting edge technology of the time: The phonetic alphabet. The ancient Hebrews began recording their stories with this radical new invention, and when it eventually took off, their written lore was already old and established, which lent it credibility. Because it was written, it was static, which kept it from splintering into different sects as is common with orally-transferred lore. Religious people don't like me much when I have an answer to their insipid challenge: "If Christianity isn't the one true faith, how did it become so prevalent?"

[@waynemiller6070]

@@pricklypear7516 written down after a few generations of good old fashioned version of the game "telephone".

[@njhoepner]

@@pricklypear7516 Well, the phonetic long predates the writing of the bible, and many other religious myths were written that way as well. The survival of christianity and some other myths is an accident of history that by itself proves nothing. If we were standing around at about the time of Jesus, we'd be asking how Roman religion and Greek religion and Babylonian religion lasted so long and remained so prevalent. If we stood in Jerusalem in 632 CE, we'd be asking how Islam could sweep aside christianity so readily. All particular to a time and a place and accidents of history. A few centuries from now christianity may be an historical curiosity and we'll be asking completely different questions.

[@pricklypear7516]

@@njhoepner We don't know how long the Hebrew monotheistic stories were conveyed exclusively by oral tradition, but they most certainly pre-date the phonetic alphabet's origin of sometime in the 2nd millennium BCE. (We ARE talking Old Testament lore here, you know.) And Islam most certainly did NOT "sweep aside Christianity" upon its relatively late arrival. . . Christianity hardly had a toe-hold itself in the area.

[@chrisgraham2904]

Thank you Uncle Seth. That was so much more heart warming than Dennis Prauger's fireside chats.

[@crispincoque]

Thanks Seth! That was heartwarming. In fact, I didn't realize that the Christian worldview was as logically coherent or ethically acceptable as that. Happy Holidays! 😊👍❤️

[@rj66600]

Awwww. So heart warming.

[@monsterslayer4317]

Yeah, that sums it up. Brilliant...

[@davewood4604]

Excellent, thank you Seth

[@lukemacqueen946]

Pure gold…. On point 100%

[@kimberleedavis8309]

Best nativity story ever! Thanks, Seth! LMAO

[@kellydalstok8900]

What a lovely painting at the end of the video; Jesus looks like Mary is squeezing the life out of him, and judging by her expression it’s deliberate.

[@joebarrett4353]

Truly wonderful

[@rachaeljohnson3217]

Wow dude I have to remember this story...I may forget my own story but I have to remember this one! Love it! Thanks for the early morning Sunday laugh!

[@theaussietripper]

Awww such beautiful words, Seth. Look, if I was Joe, I would've demanded a paternity test! I did indeed ENJOY!🤣

[@nicholaskurupas141]

UAP, UFO, EBEN hypothesis makes sense to me as the real reason for the season👽

[@harrikeinonen7576]

Such beautiful inspiring story. Brings a tear to my eye. 😅