The Nothing Shop Grand Opening! (ASMR)

You traversed a rift to the distant past and find yourself making some purchases during the grand opening of The Nothing Shop.
If you're new here to my Arkham Sanitarium / Rift World lore, you can read more about it at my website: bit.ly/2JxoVcf
If you are new to "ASMR" and/or my channel, welcome aboard and thanks for dropping by! The majority of videos I create, often in an unorthodox manner, are meant to help you relax, sleep, hopefully experience ASMR, and any other use that might help you find some peace of mind, concentrate, study, decompress, etc.
What is ASMR?
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's just a non-scientific, made-up term that a layperson came up with to describe the feeling characterized as a pleasant tingling sensation felt in various parts of the body (head, scalp, back, legs, etc.) in response to various visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps, but much more pleasant and without the uncomfortable chills.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally induce this sensation in the viewer, often referred to as "tingles". However, the videos also serve to provide a relaxing, calming, comforting and soothing experience for people beyond ASMR purposes. Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy these videos.
I experienced ASMR all throughout my life but no longer do as of a couple years ago. However, I still enjoy the hell out of creating these videos for anyone else that still experiences it or is just looking to relax, sleep, study, etc.
Eldritch Regards,
E.R.
Website: ephemeralrift.com
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Listen to selected works outside of KZbin:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift

[@RandomGuy-bb6ru]

"thanks for helping me move the new stock in" "No problem, it was nothing"

[@kartoffel112]

Literally

[@Thiccremoch162]

It would have cost you NOTHING to make that joke, yet here you are throwing all caution to the wind like it’s nothing

[@Hyndergogen9]

"And cannI help you with anything else before you leave our store today?" "No, you helped me find what I need, thanks for nothing".

[@tired_hades]

You didn't just

[@Chumb33]

Nothing is real

[@hairburrito]

"Got any new asmr ideas?" Rift: "Ah, no I got nothing right now." Rift: ".....wait"

[@Inkwell_Music]

ApolloGrey *eyes narrow*

[@hankhill7813]

👁👄👁

[@MassiveDisaster]

O-o

[@maxalaintwo3578]

@@Inkwell_Music "hmmmmmmmm"

[@garf5484]

Idea time

[@novaz1721]

“It will cost you nothing. Too pricy? Understood.” When you’re too broke to buy free stuff

[@ethanxtreme7018]

MysticNovaZ Gaming eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@Torraim]

That’s what it’s like with limited internet. People say it’s free what is there to lose?! and I’m in the corner going *hisss* internettt

[@lunamoona466]

Yes free isn’t a low enough price. I need you to pay ME to buy your nothing 🤣

[@houseofonion6959]

Hey it isn’t free it costs nothing man!

[@novaz1721]

HouseofOnion Oh you right. I’ve got too much something to buy nothing

[@lethalboom3008]

My head canon is still that he’s actually referring to things, but our mind can’t comprehend them In a very lovecraftian way, so our brain just white outs them in our perception

[@chadderbug7587]

Our eyes are yet to open...

[@LET_US_SKIP_CUTSCENE]

Either that or he and everyone else are on copious amounts of drugs.

[@RouxBoux]

​@@LET_US_SKIP_CUTSCENE better outcome??

[@Greekfreakonaleash]

They are beyond our comprehension. We are unable to perceive them just like a 2D being wouldn't really be able to perceive us.

[@apollyon1584]

Me: *Trying to remember what I studied for an exam* My brain:

[@natey_boi7002]

Mood

[@KingsOfCamel]

yes

[@jayan820]

Me everytime if anything Math related

[@beanie640]

This problem is....nothing...

[@haleymoormeier2798]

mood

[@focalpoint._]

“You can ride a dragon to aisle 2.” Oh, ok. “You can ride a goat to aisle 2,476.” *_HELL YEAH_*

[@sillysock1508]

It's cuz all the shelves are on a straight up mountain so you need a mountain goat lmao

[@brewckle]

Maniac Drake aisle 4,567 is on the moon

[@furryguest8570]

@@brewckle mount Everest...moon is in the 10,000

[@brewckle]

Furry Guest I’ve been to the isle myself and they have R keyboard keys there

[@calblack4156]

Hell yeah now we got business

[@redacted9433]

so this is what an amish electronics store looks like

[@pacaspascal6986]

Underrated

[@yourmaternalfigure6959]

I can’t stress how underrated this is LMAO

[@naughtymelon6712]

Y e s .

[@whatiswhatlawl]

@Personal Air conditioning the cashier isn't Amish for ease in transactions.

[@WaxenOmnivore]

Family guy

[@MlSTER404]

Wow, it’s the store of all the achievements my parents are proud of me for!

[@thefactcollector632]

U ok?

[@agiantw6890]

L

[@bxked213]

the fact that this is one of the only comments i found that ER liked 💀💀

[@Crayzo_A.s.]

@@bxked213 he probably got a big laugh out of it. Now that i think about it we have never seen him audibly laugh without it being quiet

[@thenativemartian5169]

I felt that. (Seriously though, you alright?)

[@u121386]

ER: “But we do sell Nothing Cakes, in aisle 12” Aisle 12:

[@jam3smcloud]

I like this but also hate it. That is all there is to say.

[@tenaciousjape8288]

WoAh

[@WanderersEcho]

I wanted nothing not nothing.....

[@desbugfan8429]

2:07

[@strawb3rry_sh0rtcak369]

No one: *The receipt at CVS after buying a kit Kat:* 35:27

[@CopyNinjaJay]

Very underrated

[@strawb3rry_sh0rtcak369]

@@CopyNinjaJay thanks!

[@fatherizyoa]

Sounds like a tie-fighter

[@strawb3rry_sh0rtcak369]

@@fatherizyoa I can hear it lol

[@chaster_mief]

Y'all out here really not liking each others wholesome replies

[@Loafphy]

When the game is running normally but some textures are missing

[@Cheese-xf2nj]

Hmmm nothing is delicious

[@CamoCollie]

Carson more like Carcass ha lmao gotem

[@grimsville2501]

Haha

[@Cheese-xf2nj]

@@grimsville2501 **pushes wheelchair**

[@N-GinAndTonicTM]

@@Cheese-xf2nj "god i wish that were me"

[@thecamtain]

The reason that he took so long with one customer is because all other customers are nothing to him

[@wannabe-werecat]

underrated

[@googleuser9383]

How dare you? He treats his customers as if they were EVERYTHING to him, not just SOMETHING which he has to go through to make NOTHING - which is the accepted currency in this shop.

[@jammedyam3389]

"did you buy it" "yes" "what did it cost" "...nothing"

[@dr.owlrick4820]

“A small price to pay for nothing”

[@rickgrimes_69420]

tigers transmission is made of nothing

[@snea3291]

Nothing for Nothing

[@Boch45]

@@snea3291 I trade my nothing for your nothing

[@matteofanari7291]

*Nothing*

[@anglosire]

Plot twist: We haven't unlocked anything in the shop

[@FLUING]

We gotta keep playing the story mode if we wanna unlock those nothing cakes

[@ElGueritoLoco]

It’s like the GTA V Ammunation store before we level up

[@packetonoodles145]

This is a glitched cutscene used in speed runs

[@harrymack3565]

Nah, there is no colorless translucent outline

[@fatherizyoa]

No one: Fortnite Kids brain:

[@zomb1e601]

This dude is constantly challenging the ASMR game. Everyone else pretending to give you some exam, while this man literally sells you absolutely nothing. Absolute legend.

[@iamcorgi._.6887]

And it costs absolutely nothing!

[@CBCsolar]

Hello you absolute legends You reminded me of karl jobst, sorry

[@anthonybermudez3911]

Everyone else: buys props Uncle rift: grabs nothing “this is prop”

[@rush194tify]

thats a weird way of saying hes creative, but i do agree

[@deathturkeyjerky7722]

Agreed a true legend

[@th3pugm4st3r9]

As a patron of this store, it was amazing, the website showing nothing is also amazing. It shows all of the nothing in the store and the price tags, 5 star review, amazing service, I spent nothing here and got nothing, just as I wanted, definitely would recommend instead of your normal grocer.

[@juicyapple2646]

The nothing store website url:

[@thegamingsnake-e9o]

i recommend

[@Dusty_Jack]

With all these discounts he's practically giving away this stuff for nothing.

[@StukaOswin]

Vamos de la fiesta

[@gxd4690]

Ye

[@erinroland7]

😂

[@noahparnell9583]

I love this comment to much

[@carpet_.bomber1683]

Correction he’s giving away nothing for nothing

[@panchojr.8440]

His hands at the beginning make him look like a LEGO character

[@jabiranshari1572]

🤣🤣🤣

[@TrevorEllison-lh5yo]

Minifig?

[@connorhickey2666]

Same 😋

[@boopsboops7692]

🙂 🤛👕🤜 👖

[@sonofconnaught2945]

*TCS flashbacks*

[@hortensesnow23]

Speedrunners when they no-clip into the shop before unlocking them

[@Scuuba]

Snow23 underrated

[@alexhall5370]

35:24 As a cashier this bit is hilarious to me

[@tiarebaeriswyl1303]

Thats a lot of nothing haha

[@Hatred1041]

The smile 😂

[@Simonghostisalegend]

I,m supposed to sleep right now But instead i,m dying laughing 😂

[@GayHaruspex]

This really is how it feels 🤣

[@tossi160]

Police officer: Is that a gun? Robber: It’s nothing

[@delicioussidefx]

Tossi Gaming thats what Antonio Montana calls ‘em too

[@botforandroid9029]

Assassin's Creed movie

[@houseofonion6959]

Look out he’s got a nothing! *starts blasting*

[@bigsmoke3078]

I'VE GOT NOTHING FULLY LOADED WITH NOTHING

[@abdelrahmangamal7507]

Him: "it's a bit too rich for your taste" When you can't even afford nothing.

[@FionnFisher]

Well now, it costs Absolutely Nothing. If it cost Literally Nothing, or Almost Nothing, or Next to Nothing, I could afford it. But Absolutely Nothing is a bit outside my budget.

[@thepissedoffwhitedude969]

@@FionnFisher im too poor to even afford that. i can afford SOMETHING but not NOTHING

[@sgt.mittens2451]

Dude your a rare nothing card, BLANK.

[@googleuser9383]

In the nothing shop you pay with the time spent to round up your purchase.

[@theguy2628]

Plot twist: I too am nothing and Rift is talking to himself.

[@steven_0236]

Plot twist: Everything is nothing and nobody is talking to anyone

[@SrQuack-js6sn]

_Plot twist_ : *The store is actually full but Rift is blind and so are you so you believe him*

[@九头金蛇]

plot twist: he is experiencing extreme hallucenations, but is self aware at the same time as being unaware of being self aware

[@InsideYourWallsPhD]

That’s not a twist, that was the intention

[@PantsEzTbh]

The nothingness in the store is filled with everything but he sees nothing due to nothing showing proof of nothing

[@KorliWolf]

It has been 3 years since the grand opening sale of the Nothing Shop, i am still waiting in line. My wife had joined me the day after the opening, wondering what had taken so long, now we wait together for our turn to check out. Our son has just turned 2 yesterday and loves walking down the aisles and look at nothing on the shelves. The accommodations are nice and certainly make the long wait time bearable. The only thing that keeps me up at night sometimes is wondering if I'll still get the 10% discount. Otherwise, great service, great accommodations, great decorations, and very well cleaned 9/10 stars Will definitely come back to buy for nothing

[@lordziz]

After watching this, “nothing” doesn’t even sound like a word anymore You could say it sounds like nothing

[@ThePancakeRenegade]

Lord Ziz I’m happy with this comment so here have my like

[@fatherizyoa]

nothing is not a word, it is nothing.

[@doubleawakeel7214]

Nah I thought it said something

[@omegadragons321]

I trie to type thi com ent but th tingles got m .

[@blakemherrera]

my brain... wtf

[@stalebananas2377]

His script was an unfilled madlibs book where he just wrote “nothing” in all the slots.

[@ciarawilkins9931]

stale bananas are cool also funny joke

[@nkracing2]

ok you earned a like loll

[@cade9111]

Dude if you think about it , you can actually hear it that way. You have a big brain

[@sgt.mittens2451]

Job simulator, it reminds me of that. And after putting that in the microwave it becomes *FOOD, where you can eat the NUTRIENTS* .

[@YeetMan.]

Local millionaire shop owner arrested for hypnotizing customers into purchasing air

[@botforandroid9029]

One victim says"he didn't hypnotize me"

[@micahflynn4342]

he hypnotized nobody, we were there of our own free will

[@botforandroid9029]

@@micahflynn4342 r/woooosh

[@micahflynn4342]

Bot For Android oh wow you’re so cool, you know what reddit is. if you’re gonna woooosh someone, at least take the time to actually make sure that they’re not joking too.

[@botforandroid9029]

@@micahflynn4342 ok damn

[@TheMidnightSmoker]

Spending all this time in line around nothing getting to really think about nothing has given me the realization I truly do deserve nothing

[@roonster1324]

When your girlfriend says she wants nothing for her birthday

[@xI-MIKE-Ix]

LOL Nice comment

[@ReyAmv]

Roonster incredible just perfection.

[@bruh9626]

Lmao can't relate

[@_blacken]

What's a girlfriend? Can you eat it?

[@soggy5854]

@@_blacken You can eat a part of it...

[@doomageton7315]

Wife: I’m gonna go to the store Him: what are you buying Wife:nothing Him: idea

[@garfielduberviess3051]

Your name is spelled wrong

[@St4ri23]

@@garfielduberviess3051 lol how u know it was an accident?

[@EndGame2220YouTubeGaming]

@@St4ri23 i was an accident

[@j1mmy_]

@@EndGame2220KZbinGaming same

[@allbottledup9513]

Jimmy Most of us were

[@francescoantoniocrisconio194]

Next video POV: you're the doorbell gremlin being gently fired from the Nothing Shop

[@Shadylee420]

Lol that is hilarious. I'd watch it and thumbs up it lol

[@ariabritton9669]

Or, "your employer is very understanding and doesn't punish you too harshly for not showing up to work that day, as you are normally very punctual" seems like a better, less stressful alternative

[@skele3310]

@@ariabritton9669 "a labor dispute meeting between the owner of the nothing shop and the doorbell gremlin's union over a gremlin needing to miss work because of a dragon attack on gremlin town"

[@francescoantoniocrisconio194]

@@skele3310 that's creative, I like it

[@karapalmer7228]

Man I've watched this video so many times I've memorized what all the props look like!

[@budvarlager7027]

Ah i see, he also predicts the future in his free time

[@madiichan1486]

Simul Ilyena this comment is too damn good

[@legostarwarsgonkdroid7317]

Congratulations Sir You made me chuckle You win a.....*Drumroll* A Like!

[@Oculus-bi2fo]

Wait..... wait. WAIT... HOLD UP

[@newyork1626]

Oh he may be able to predict the future but I have overthrown HELL BECAUSE ALL MY TIME IS FREE TIME

[@octokw1]

This comment sucks

[@madelineridgy1237]

“Mum can we go to the shop” “We have a shop at home” -shop at home

[@ddh186]

Your name suggests that you're a dude, but your pfp deceives me, I am confused!!!

[@jerm9864]

Æg Egg What about “Madds” makes you think it’s a guy lmao sounds like Maddison to me

[@ddh186]

@@jerm9864 Oh well, just Mads is a guys name here in Denmark

[@derbyjr]

Illuminati ok chill out kid.

[@nxLy3]

@@potato2248 calm down there buddy

[@matthewgrobel5587]

So THATS why dad is gone, he’s still at the nothing store

[@botforandroid9029]

Oh

[@thinh3554]

@@botforandroid9029 dark

[@mokimo2615]

But he said he was getting milk, wheres the milk

[@botforandroid9029]

@@mokimo2615 I'm getting scared your serious

[@callmemarston3310]

Yeah sure...

[@IgnatXerius]

My dad lived in the USSR all his childhood and youth, and from his tales I heard, that shops in 80-s were really like this

[@googleuser9383]

filled with nothing? Depending on which part of the USSR he lived in, the grocery ailes were full of nothing for months.

[@IgnatXerius]

@@googleuser9383 Kharkiv, UkSSR.

[@butterbagelgaming3654]

"what are you watching" "oh, nothing"

[@Tarking434]

ButterBagelGaming no. No. No no. Please just stop 😂🤣

[@boney4947]

I hate this pun so much but hate and love you at the same time

[@proddezi8372]

bruh i hate and love this so much

[@notboshy0644]

Mumbo: today I brought you guys a tutorial on how to make a easy and really useful redstone contraption for your survival world! the redstone contraption tutorial: 7:10 - 8:22

[@W_Anthony14]

Ang3lR1os this is genuinely funny

[@_bellona_792]

Underrated af

[@twojacksandanace3847]

Lol, not sure how many people will understand a Minecraft joke like this but yeah this is pretty accurate, Etho and others will make this amazing and complex contraption and say look I did it in 3 hours it’s so easy!

[@whoisnolann]

Pick up your boats and hoes, and have a fantastic time

[@coolfool4950]

I understand this and I’m chuffed to pieces about it

[@hydrawith2heads912]

I swear the homeless of this universe must be living like kings

[@nothingimportant4105]

hydra in pixlegun LMFAOOO

[@mickboudens5751]

Wow

[@another_random_ace8820]

Unlike you, who can’t afford the Loud Piggy, apparently.

[@KaiserKinectics]

The all have Absolutely Nothing to worry about

[@toastcrunch9387]

there probably are no homeless. a home can be made anywhere and cost anything. even nothing, apparently.

[@pilksplayz1288]

He predicted what all stores would be like in the upcoming months

[@bruce8873]

Legit losing it whenever he says 'nothing' because he says it the same way every time, and it just gets funnier with every time he says it.

[@raienx5171]

T Rogers Youre a hero Bro

[@raienx5171]

And you did that for absolutly nothing:)

[@Madii_78]

@@tidalrogers4488 your comment deserves more likes

[@desbugfan8429]

"is there *nothing* else I can help you with?"

[@naroh1989]

store clerk: what are you purchasing today ? me: nothing store clerk: excellent choice

[@grimsville2501]

That will be £5

[@grimsville2501]

Would you like your receipt

[@starpulverizer227]

*prints receipt*

[@grimsville2501]

Thank you for shopping at Tesco's

[@arothewanderer9451]

ER: "I've run out of ideas" Also ER: So ive made nothing for you guys.

[@freddo4304]

Thats why he said I have nothing left That was the video idea

[@freddo4304]

@@aussie4237 emeral rift

[@choquittomaluco7781]

When you push the NPC out of the items he was interacting, but he stills doing the animations:

[@greenytoaster]

lmao

[@baseg815]

"Our quaint little store" *"Aisle 2476"*

[@soarvulture2746]

“Our quaint little store” “Grabs Binoculars”

[@snitzelberry8006]

"Our quaint little store" *"Swirling vortex"*

[@CopyNinjaJay]

*You can schedule a flight, take a train, bus... A dragon, a goat*

[@ltbubbas]

maybe the aisles are just incredibly small

[@gangstakittie7699]

Literally read this as it happened it was so sketchy

[@Cobyba]

this is where timmy turner's dad bought his trophy

[@adamdedumdum6479]

I know it is said a lot, but underrated comment.

[@natey_boi7002]

Underrated, this comment is

[@Mkmcco]

impressed with your creativity is what i am

[@natey_boi7002]

impressed by who's creativity, are you?"

[@Mkmcco]

Cobyba

[@Biscuit-Triscuit]

“It’s quite a hefty price tag. It will cost you absolutely nothing” What do I look like I’m made of nothing or something?!

[@entity42]

But you _are_ made of something!

[@genericguy6382]

@@entity42 yes, but that _something_ is *nothing*

[@naughtymelon6712]

Nothing can be something if you feel it is something, and something can be nothing if you feel it is nothing

[@ThePancakeRenegade]

You look like you’re made of something but the item you want is made of nothing

[@iiisaturn]

If nothing can be made into something it must be empty or interactable

[@Max-pi3yx]

This video never fails to help me fall asleep, the Nothing Shop is my Ol’ Reliable when nothing else in Mr. ER’s catalog is working

[@benjaminiturriaga9704]

its surprising that ER is still looking at the comments after all this time!

[@ClownFromTheYear9998]

I find it surprising this is the only thing he hearted. But also kinda nice.

[@hindenpeter1]

Imagine getting lost in the nothing shop and having to survive off of the products

[@cloaker5445]

At least you can smoke a bit nothing while you try to leave

[@YellowStarLine]

@lonk SCP 3008 has a bunch of stuff inside, including food, it gets mysteriously restocked every night or week... Something like that

[@YellowStarLine]

I WOULD TURN INTO NOTHING... THE STORE WOULD CONSUME ME!

[@Punkan23]

Ok that was a knife I rubbed across my palm, not a stick to make a fire . Where's the bandaids. *trips* ooh is this numbing gel. DAMMIT THIS IS ALCOHOL IT JUST BURNED EVEN MORE.

[@ClownFromTheYear9998]

@@cloaker5445 * tastes like nothing. * . . . And Oreo Flavored Tobacco.

[@bloodredmooseisntshort4478]

He looks like he’s ready for some Kentucky Fried Nothing

[@fatherizyoa]

The McDonald’s in this store be like *Brand new Big Nothing*

[@fightmefatima992]

The new PopEye's chicken nothing

[@fatherizyoa]

with a side of nothing fries and nothing soda for nothing.

[@robertfairbank4114]

OOF

[@TheDeathChamber10]

Some KFC

[@samueljorge3171]

This is probably the nicest scammer I've ever met Edit: nvm everything costs nothing lol

[@Mr.Soupik]

Yeah, this is some of the highest quality nothing I haven’t seen!

[@Tarking434]

Bro. He has the best nothing ever. It’s literally worth nothing. It’s the best

[@ceranopierce]

Yeah tf you on about, this is the same guy who sells anything and everything

[@Tarking434]

Tea Drinker and nothing

[@solarbbx]

Wait, you've met scammers?

[@fordsrest]

15:51 when you're forced to give gifts to family members you dont like.

[@viper_7712]

us as kids: “mom, can we go to the store to get a toy?” mom: “sure, but i choose the store.” *the store she always chose:*

[@vampyreteef]

It's always the worst store 🙄

[@stefanmunteanu2855]

End if she meats an old frend My mind :this litele manuver is gana cost us 10000 years

[@letitliv6984]

viper_77 lol

[@Netradon]

Stefan Munteanu Fr tho

[@Dracot1c]

When mom chooses the adult store 😳

[@romanrattler550]

I want a sequel to this, except he’s an adventurer, the title is called; “The Search For Nothing Valuable”

[@xthylultynil2359]

Phantom Nothing Nothing Tendency Nothing Crusaders Nothing is Unbreakable Golden Nothing Nothing Ocean Steel Ball Nothing

[@johns1894]

Shouldn't it be a prequel? Him searching for nothing valuable to put in his store full of nothing.

[@rooksbunny8318]

Xthyl Ultynil BITCH EYE-

[@overwatchvsaiwarrior]

@@xthylultynil2359 relatable

[@kmac291]

Amazing world of nothing Nothing universe Infinity nothing Nothing go Nothing of the creek OK K.O let’s be nothing Ben nothing Over the nothing Nothing time Only on Nothing Network

[@WhataGunnR]

Ah, I see Rift has officially joined the “International League of Gentlemen with Goatees” Cheers, my dude

[@tex8564]

Is Gun Jesus included in this fantastic League?

[@matheoo8079]

oh that might be a spoiler !

[@SeveralRatsEachWithArcanePower]

A man among men.

[@jackeisen2204]

ILGG

[@unitedwestand160]

ILOGWG

[@joshlee350]

“Hey how much did the soul stone cost you?” Thanos: “nothing”

[@googleuser9383]

but is nothing actually void? Or is it merely No Thing? Is the Soul Some Thing? Or Is It No Thing? How do we even define a Thing? An idea apparently isn't a thinkg, so is it No Thing?

[@Alice-gr1kb]

with a 10% discount

[@nunyabidness4660]

Uncle Rift: The only person that can make a video about nothing that's entertaining

[@deermeat311]

Average Alien please stop

[@pixlice8181]

Yea don’t call him uncle that’s just weird only do it if your actually close to him if not don’t it’s wired an cringy.

[@Christian_509]

@@deermeat311 r/woooosh

[@Christian_509]

@@pixlice8181 r/woooooooosh

[@pixlice8181]

cudder mist there is no joke here that is going over my head your just being cringy with you calling him uncle

[@panzer0357]

Ephemeral Rift drinking game: -Drink once every time he says 'nothing' At the end of it, you will see everything.

[@joemcfloe]

I feel like even shots would give me alcohol poisoning

[@kyro8559]

i think you’ll end up seeing nothing pretty quick

[@lillie3029]

panzer0357 69th like lol

[@nethose]

@@kyro8559 lmao

[@derianarce2686]

Man...youd die of some severe liver damage 5 minutes in 🤣🤣

[@Genny207]

I feel like that needs to be a real thing: "Nothing Insurance - So you have nothing to worry about"

[@devpatel7154]

Jason Klugh facts 😂

[@RaphaelO12398]

@Trinity Logue yeah i thought the same it's kinda paradoxal

[@alex.italics]

If you made this into an actual thing just your catchphrase will make you a competitor.

[@instantkarma1872]

21:15 "I enjoy wearing nothing myself all of the time" and "the manager encourages us workers to wear nothing"💀💀💀

[@R34GrimShadow]

"Our quaint little shop" "Aisle 2476 I believe" As I'm sure you have already noticed with your own eyes our store is quite massive" "Schedule a flight, take a train, a bus, a Dragon, a goat" "We offer temporary living quarters" So the store is actually the size of a star destroyer

[@cowuwu1]

I’ve noticed that too, just starts small and only got bigger and bigger

[@Darthlevidious]

The store is the size of nothing.

[@falloutgod1073]

Naw it the infinite IKEA

[@DeltaPlays27]

naw fam it's the size of the trappist-1 star

[@clockjaw5189]

The god of fallout None Ah yes the SCP foundation, where they keep all their Nothing in containment

[@iamsatire2883]

Plot twist: he accidentally spilled invisible paint on the stuff and was too lazy to clean it

[@Bmurray-u5l]

Because he cares about N O T H I N G

[@alexmartinez5859]

Careful. It stains clothes.

[@kingkunta7164]

@@alexmartinez5859 last time I checked it did nothing

[@yans2821]

@@kingkunta7164 did you check or was it... invisible?

[@mylife-23]

😂

[@lakloron]

“A small price to pay for nothing”

[@unity__3829]

He misspelled salvation lol

[@smartii3s]

Unity Roberts no it’s deliberate

[@catarmour4572]

Woooosh

[@falconeshield]

America's motto since 2016

[@RegressorJin]

@@catarmour4572 it’s r/woosh

[@LobotomizedLemon]

When the DM takes playing the merchant-NPC a little too serious

[@pamgramster6672]

*at a friend's house* "How do I turn on the shower?" Friend: 7:10

[@DanielDaniel-qu6un]

Lmao! Great observation

[@clutch2864]

Underrated comment

[@ATruckCampbell]

Too underrated, too true.

[@ektortheartist]

Indeed very true, 1-2 min. Clip meme. Very relatable

[@MK8DX_Inward]

LMAO

[@nemuriyagi]

Uncle Rift: "The Day I Run Out of ideas" Also Uncle Rift: "Would you like to purchase nothing? Yes? Great!"

[@persephone9084]

thebrushking i‘m so glad he did NOT run out of ideas

[@pixlice8181]

thebrushking don’t call him uncle rift it’s weird and cringe

[@tomfrost419]

PixlIce shut up daddy

[@pixlice8181]

Dr Dank meme I am not your father nor I have children of any sorts

[@alexandersassaman1822]

@@pixlice8181 Give me the truth, daddy. The cold hard truth.

[@turdsandwich2068]

the chips section probably has lays

[@justanobodywithamic]

I actually work in the distribution and manufacturing company that deals with them and many other chip brands, and I can confirm that it’s required that every bag when manufactured has a required amount of nothing per bag. 👍

[@guobibi]

pringles must be sold out then 😵😵

[@sillysock1508]

Wth why's my bag of air filled half way with chips 🤷🤷🤷🤷😂😂😂

[@williamlebron750]

@Jake Lyman that would still equal to "nothing"

[@jorgemeraz8666]

@@justanobodywithamic But why!? D:

[@bennettbatten4181]

Friend: Oh yeah I'm real lax about clothes at home I'm usually just in pajamas. What about you? Me: 21:15

[@kianplummer755]

Nobody: EA’s games when you dont buy DLC (edit) some of you dont understand why i use the “Nobody” meme format, guys the video is all about nothing.. so it made sense to use nobody ;)

[@Marawan]

That's such an awesome comment

[@kianplummer755]

Marwan Mahmoud cheers 😂

[@redhood4457]

Kian Plummer Very True

[@donutsteelthisname1088]

ea bad nobody funny

[@lillie3029]

Kian Plummer the nobo... OH i get it its the nothing store

[@jackreilly706]

13:22 whenever you get caught cheating and the teacher is looking at you

[@mlg8605]

True

[@Kaiyome]

Underrated comment

[@griffinhenry1403]

Why would the teacher be in the bedroom where it's happening tho

[@jackreilly706]

Griffin Henry 😂😂😂

[@BlueJay-do1rx]

Griffin Henry ok that was good

[@bmxbm4665]

The way he says "nothing" is relaxing

[@xavierrodriguez9969]

fax

[@JoshTRC]

That is the point

[@darrenroman1220]

I wonder how many times he has had to redo this from laughing 😂

[@erinroland7]

probably like 2000 times

[@manosdyrmishi8682]

I ruined your 69th like you probably gonna respond so you can be in r/rareinsults but whatever you say will not happen and the realize you are useless and just sit back to your pewdiepie 100mil edition chair and olso i know what you would say you would say "i will break you kneecaps" well i broke them already by myself (i hope you enjoy your reddit karma)

[@jadetheslime3140]

@@manosdyrmishi8682 did you eat lemons for breakfast that day?

[@FICKLEPICKLE_]

@@jadetheslime3140 r/iatelemonsforbreakfast

[@GillianNivesse-vj1pk]

Probably too many times to count lol

[@Albertovich86]

"Nothing cupcakes, nothing for dinner, nothing for lunch..." reminds me of my life at university

[@ShadowOfTheKolkhoznik]

Its just piece from wrong video, one with Dimitriy

[@themedic7933]

Viewer: E.R, how do you create such good asmr? E.R: There's nothing to it

[@srotpars]

ba da tss

[@thatguywithahorsehead8319]

WHEEZING

[@memesalad7586]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@montgomeryheiser1131]

This seems like a brilliant idea for an SCP. A Euclid one where the nothing you buy manifests when you walk out the store and the store itself holds dimensional dangers from gremlins, black holes, and other variety of dangers while shopping with dimensions. The only way you know what your buying is a sign over each nothing. And what you can buy ranges from trading cards to weapons of mass destruction.

[@gxgala]

Would the store be the SCP?

[@Dr.Manninton]

@@gxgala I believe so

[@focalpoint._]

Should I buy *_THE CONTROL OF RIFTS IN THE RIFT WORLD_* or this t-shirt that the sign says is on sale? I think I’m getting the T-shirt, the sign says it has the word nice in it so...

[@beesechurger228]

Scp:2476 Class:Euclid Containment procedures:none Scp 2476 is a small from outside but huge when walked into store.When you enter a man by the name of [redacted] greets and always say “hi welcome to the store of nothing can I help you with finding nothing”.When testing what you can find in the store you find nothing but seemingly empty shelves.When “picked up” and “bought” we have found that half the time you Will have the item you “bought” manifests it self in your hand.We have cut off scp 2476 from the world for we have found you can find weapons capable of destroying worlds This is all we have found,log out (This can be touched up a bit but I’m pretty proud with it)

[@montgomeryheiser1131]

@@beesechurger228 Thank you for seeing this through, I love it!

[@fcclips3596]

"I do perfer to wear nothing. Perhaps when you return to our fair establishment you will see me wear nothing." I dont know how he didnt strike atleast a tiny smile from that.

[@siren7567]

If that doesn’t sound like the beginning of a porno idk what does

[@sheazburger6799]

Deadass I found this comment and started reading it at the same time he started saying that line

[@le_mothman]

@@sheazburger6799 I love it when that happens

[@katsukibakugo9345]

Alternative title: Rift flexes on you for being unable to afford nothing

[@warbirddove4032]

how has deku been?

[@officialjohnsfishbar7980]

@@warbirddove4032 no he hasn't

[@iamcorgi._.6887]

Why are there so many ua students and other bnha characters listening to asmr I have seen shoto, izuku, occako, kaminari, toga and now bakugo.

[@katsukibakugo9345]

@@iamcorgi._.6887 well after a long day fighting villains, and in my case being kidnapped frequently, it's nice to relax while a man rambles about all the nothings in his store

[@salesm4ne]

Personas are a waste of time, just my opinion

[@JosheYT]

*goes into nothing shop to rob it* Me: “GIVE ME NOTHING YOU’VE GOT!!!”

[@NR-qc4hp]

Aimee Dalton damn you screwed it

[@brodiewaye8689]

@@km16806 got the whole squad laughing...

[@brodiewaye8689]

you should be a comedian. not gonna cap

[@subsnovideochallange-wm4lp]

splish splash your comment is trash

[@justANNe_04]

brodie waye when you find a fellow tik toker

[@Vallite_God]

Could you imagine being the next person in line doing nothing while the cashier takes his sweet time like its absolutely nothing?

[@JjJayrod12__]

Her: How much money you got? Me:

[@lucid4984]

Nothing

[@theminecraftwhisperer995]

ToxikTrash-YT thank you for letting us know the joke was very unclear

[@lucid4984]

TheMinecraftWhisperer yes very

[@botforandroid9029]

@@lucid4984 you hecking frick

[@phonemadefilms875]

26:04 - 26:50 me explaining to my parents why I shouldn’t go to school

[@GugaAnd2001]

Lmao

[@mini_swiggity]

So true.... so true

[@phonemadefilms875]

Oh btw I liked the part where he said nothing 👍

[@blagoevski336]

Lol

[@MultiERIC1973]

You DO have benefits.... Pain

[@georg2010cz]

Germany be like: Still have to print receipt even for nothing

[@dermikadomampfer3198]

Kassenbonpflicht lässt grüßen :D

[@claras.740]

@@dermikadomampfer3198 hmmm der gute Umweltschutz

[@debbie_mrks]

sad but true :(

[@georg2010cz]

@@dermikadomampfer3198 German Finanzbeamte randomly searches ERs Nothing shop because he printed nothing. Turns out they found nothing. So they take him to jail for nothing.

[@blimlp891]

Wie willst du umtauschen wenn du den Kassenbon für nichts hast

[@mustafridaida6334]

When robbers are trying to rob the nothing store:where are the things!

[@joeyjointjebaiter1275]

If he truly decided to wear nothing, the comments would be very different

[@DragonOnStrike]

😂😂

[@sonymouna931]

Well he said next time we see him at the nothing store, he will probably be wearing nothing

[@joeyjointjebaiter1275]

@@sonymouna931 oh no

[@pineappleplaguedoc]

@@sonymouna931 sadly not

[@pineappleplaguedoc]

oh fuck wait it's you yeeshawty

[@onddu2254]

Me: *lookin what the shop is selling* Rift: May i help you, what are you looking for? Me: Nothing, just looking. Rift: Excellent, how much do you want? Me: *confused noises*

[@saucylettuce7481]

Then there’s me: I would like a nothing

[@sk83r59]

Correct response so he understands: not anything at the moment

[@Executioner_Smough]

And me buying a nothM16

[@Thor_the_Doge]

Underrated comment

[@iamcorgi._.6887]

*Confused Something Noises*

[@FantFrei]

Employee: what are you looking for? Me: nothing

[@JustADudeInTheInternet]

I love this nothing shop! Hes giving away all these things for nothings! What a discount

[@Hoontermeow]

This is 6 year old me playing with my friends, using our imagination

[@plutokun3234]

improvise overcome adapt

[@lul911]

@@plutokun3234 Doctor $£ ×

[@tinaeaton419]

I like your pfp it looks good

[@Hoontermeow]

@@tinaeaton419 well thank you

[@glakethesnake8107]

x2 lol

[@charliecasey483]

12:17 when ur mom walks in unexpectidly and asks what ur doing

[@Techboy_X]

Me: Mom can we get McDonald’s? Mom: No, we already have food at home. The Food At Home:

[@botforandroid9029]

Lol

[@williammathis8727]

For real tho

[@generalgrievous8418]

Best one yet tbh

[@synthvault451]

@Pink Pyramids how is that dark? The joke is that there's no McDonald's at home and that doesn't sound dark at all

[@GoblinsOfFarmington]

Soviet Russia: can we get food Soviet government:

[@Radioactivity-fj5xg]

The way he says Nothing is fantastic, he says it the same way everytime, its perfect, I love it.

[@cam71]

I feel like ephemeral is just on one really long never ending acid trip

[@CheetoBro111]

mood

[@CheetoBro111]

Hes basically the ASMR equivalent of rule 36

[@InsideYourWallsPhD]

No, he IS an acid trip

[@TheAtomicPotato]

Saying it's never-ending nullifies 'very long.' Behold, the joys of the English language. Side Note: Wait, is your first name actually Campbell, as implied by your Google account name? If so, that's the first time I've ever seen that. And, it's extra peculiar, because that's my last name.

[@fabiansmh5060]

Haha scheppert

[@jasonedwards3123]

Employee: Hi would you like to buy something? Me: Yeh. Employee: Sorry we don’t have that.

[@botforandroid9029]

Exhales sharply

[@gatgat5106]

Ephemeral: welcome how may I help you Me: where’s everything at Ephemeral: yes.

[@purplepoet6147]

but actually no

[@Fate_Ya_Man]

*we don’t sell everything here

[@Kaitanji]

I love how he just extinguishes the word “nothing” in every sentence from every other word every time he says it

[@googleuser9383]

he pronounces it like the word he just replaced. Makes it sound much more believable and less satirical.

[@thatdude4257]

I love the selection. When it comes to general stores, Nothing beats it.

[@drenn.]

hehe

[@marvelcomics6106]

It's hard to argue with his assessment

[@Carr.Ryan09]

Underrated comment

[@jadetheslime3140]

The Nothing Store "Nothing beats it!"

[@kryshik1]

Finally, a shop that sells [REDACTED] and some really nice [DATA EXPUNGED].

[@orangecryptid7732]

i love me some [REDACTED] [REDACTED] and most of all, [REDACTED]

[@1z098]

@@orangecryptid7732 i prefer some [DATA EXPUNGED] myself but i respect your opinion

[@yellostarr]

Ah yes, a man of [REDACTED] SCP culture i [DATA EXPUNGED]

[@siren7567]

Y’all ain’t been to Walmart in the last month?

[@the05thatasked52]

@@1z098 I prefer [DATA REDACTED ON 05 REQUEST] myself but you like what you like I guess

[@sixthbyte]

35:22 Is it just me or did I start dying after seeing the receipt slowly take forever to print our absolutely nothing?... Just me? Ok.

[@anokayartist9544]

Legit why that damn receipt so long

[@JakeMoment_]

The funniest part was the unpleasant noise

[@TheBigManInTheSky]

Feels like I’ve just been given a receipt from cvs

[@Barydne]

Bru they way he looked at the camera😂

[@SkittyDangerzne]

Same here! IM CRYING-

[@samiam8433]

Toys r us in late 2017’s

[@sirsquidpotato3027]

“Is there *nothing* that you need or is there *nothing* that I can help you with?” Genius. Pure Genius.

[@thepissedoffwhitedude969]

what retail workers wish they could say. Source: am retail worker