NWO Checkpoint | ASMR

[@Dimentio36]

ER 2013: "What if I made an ASMR roleplay series where the government has banned candy and you have to go visit a black market dealer to get candy? I think that would be cool" ER 2020: "The letter A is contraband"

[@mostlysilentlistener893]

*Contr*b*nd

[@gee_dubya]

Sir, the letter [REDACTED] is B*nned, you will be t*ken into custody immedi*tely

[@azathoththe3rd]

***dly the letter ** w** *l*o b*nned from the *lph*bet. Now we w*it to t*ke *weet revenge upon the NWO.

[@shrug1250]

xanadu sshh, no spoilers

[@bnha_furryboi_gacha2069]

U should lol what a unique idea lol! (And in not lying.)

[@nicks2658]

For a second I thought he was actually going to take my pipe bomb from me.

[@jdmnissan]

Gotem

[@Forlorn_Overseer]

@@jdmnissan Hey Jeff tell Joe I said hi

[@denniscowe3289]

707yorkie Le who’s Jeff

[@ListenerDB]

@@denniscowe3289 Jeff mama

[@denniscowe3289]

Mr. Burns He’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

[@Mr.Animemeguy]

Officer: "You should be outta here in 3 - 4 minutes tops" Me: *Checks Video Length* *Sweats profusely*

[@connorwoodwards7668]

Mr. Animemeguy Me: So that was a f*cking lie

[@RealBomoth]

Damnit, I was gonna comment that!

[@beanie640]

I knew I was gonna find this.

[@Mr.Animemeguy]

@@RealBomoth Beat ya to it I guess. Maybe next time, my friend.

[@davidwhite9916]

That's literally what I was going to type to lol

[@Please-ic1bh]

“I’m gonna need to enter this into you’re record, which was clean. Until now.” Haven’t gotten around to banning passive-aggressiveness yet have we?

[@Jomo667alt]

NWO Officers are exempt from the bans.

[@glitchtrap9112]

@@Jomo667alt yes exactly so we can use passive-agressiveness

[@promeneuzivotu117]

@@Jomo667alt but what if privilages get banned?

[@braedenfluke5050]

@@promeneuzivotu117 We're exempt from that ban also.

[@abel_amado]

@@braedenfluke5050 Exempt from the exemption ban

[@ronin858]

*pulls out pipe bomb* Me: “Shouldn’t be an issue” *pulls out candy* Me: *nervously wipes sweat off forehead* “uhhhh, I can explain!”

[@captaincashew5291]

This Is peak ERU comedy

[@Argomundo]

I fully expected the last thing he pulls out to be a Neuralyzer, and thats how we got a clean record

[@JBUG-mx4ev]

Just use the time stone to yeet before the search and get rid of the contraband

[@lillianfox6848]

deadly weapons: absolutely fine harmless random objects: *lemme stop you right there*

[@michaelmyers5663]

Don’t forget the rubber chicken

[@marekdolezel1991]

Furry good

[@blitzkrieg7353]

@@marekdolezel1991 no.

[@haiderkarkamaz6466]

I was going to write this but thought of something funnier but still there are people who’s ideas get posted by others

[@stevengardiner4119]

You got the joke, good job.

[@GankbotShuk]

The fact that you just said: "Out." and not 'over and out' earned you a like. Thank you for using the proper terminology.

[@wallonmcwoolworth819]

I picked up on this also. Way to go ER.

[@GankbotShuk]

@GoTi4No I know. Hence why I commented...

[@iNotAnHacker]

The proper term is actually “overerlyest’ve” meaning that you have finished talking and intend to return to your old home in the Nebraskan countryside

[@ereynolds72]

GoTi4No he knows

[@Snottco]

My grandfather used "over and out" whilst serving. Guess it's probably due to generation or location idk

[@Karma-ji6ud]

Me: My apologies, I've come from an alternative reality you see... One where these things have not been banned... Security Guard: Oh I see... But are you aware that interdimensional travel has also been banned? Me: Well shit.

[@strife9265]

it was worth the shot

[@glitchtrap9112]

Well uh ya see I came from hell...so it wasn't really interdimensional travel but it was...selling my soul

[@naughtymelon6712]

@Glitch Trap thanks for that by the way. Just another one to add to my collection.

[@codymorris6702]

How d*re you don’t you know the letter (REDACTED) is b*nned

[@romeovega4765]

LMAO

[@pyram1d207]

I like how nobody’s talking about how we had the time stone just casually lying in our rucksack.

[@games_fusion1393]

Why don't we use the time stone to remove all the contraband from our rucksack? That's borderline insane

[@berrynation4251]

@@games_fusion1393 we do

[@aidanadkins5922]

@@5L1G_Zeref Unfortunately, the one and only limitation of the infinity stones is that they only work in their own universe. Here, they're about as useful as a paperweight.

[@jadetheslime3140]

timestamp?

[@Flutter_Aeina]

We use them as paperweights

[@TheDamisen]

Officer: “I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen” Me who has spent the last year+ getting illegal items from the __ man’s: “... yup.”

[@Baggeb0]

I wonder how the blank man's manage to slip through NWO checkpoints...or not get caught at all..

[@brandbaard]

@@Baggeb0 It's cuz they clearly look identical to NWO security guards!

[@yourejustchildish2554]

Metin Ünlü maybe they weren’t banned

[@EcdElite]

Where’d u get this book. Me: 😐😐😐😐😐

[@dolandank.2976]

Wait... did u get a free N word pass?

[@ceranopierce]

I love how all of the old video types are returning

[@chrisbade2119]

I just need my fix of the Clemmons brothers, Iggy Manley and Deep One Dave and I'm set

[@notsocrazytank707]

@@chrisbade2119 Clemsons brothers? There is more than one?

[@repatomonor21]

It would be about time to find out if the Plastic Pouch Predicament is curable. Or if the Couch Companion finally crawls out of the couch. Or regarding the state of Charlie Baggs.

[@chrisbade2119]

Not so Crazy Tank William and Corvus. I think they might be twins actually

[@edwardbeatty5227]

Yes queen

[@TheChoosenOne187]

Officer Murray: "Oh, a brain. Is this yours? Actually cracked me up ngl

[@sans5808]

@Robert Holder 25 Your profile pic translates to sponge man ice cone

[@rickgrimes_69420]

im crazy ok just take a look at this:

[@rickgrimes_69420]

hey dude how do i was the night last week you got me a a hoodie or a tank army hoodie for you bruh was a great day for me and my dad to get me back home i was a great day i is is that a tank of gas masks are on my car and then go to the town where you are and what do ya want to me and i go get away with it haha was the way you are the one who is in love your way you can just go get away and then do it again i was like that was the best thing you could ever get for it to do so you wanna is is your day and i was a great night i is is your day and the moon and your back in a good zombie apocalypse you are so good omg was a great night and i is is your birthday 🎁 i dont wanna day i was a great 👍 morning and a merry go home 🏠 night i did i is a day that we can get to go get some sleep 🛏 night is gonna the game you play a game of your life.

[@supergamerhell5110]

@@rickgrimes_69420 are you talking to yourself?

[@rickgrimes_69420]

@@supergamerhell5110 my brain was going crazy

[@woofywoofy1689]

plot twist: he's just a very sophisticated thief, and the real checkpoint officer is gagged under the desk.

[@tstorm64m66]

Noted

[@DunkleCheese]

>:’]

[@Overkeyboarded]

>:']

[@timothytimmermanthethird4926]

>:']

[@thetherapist4827]

[|87

[@thelemon0001]

Officer Murray is seriously my favourite character. :D He's such a perfect example of the average working man. Working his ass off for a low job in a corrupt system that doesn't care about him. And always takes the small opportunities he can to think about himself in the middle of it. So understandable and real.

[@elliothayes1333]

Video Idea: Planning a heist to break into the NWO warehouse to reclaim everything that was banned

[@ct918]

Nothing man, tinfoil man and nothing man together

[@justinthompson7238]

@@ct918 buddy..

[@nickofgames5740]

not an reference at all -murky water

[@surthing6711]

You fool, there are multiple warehouses scatterd around the world. You cant reclaim everything from one heist.

[@endermage77]

Which warehouse?

[@PieceOfSchmidtt_Games]

ER:"You should be out of here in 3/4 mins tops" Me:*looks at time of video* Video: *is over an hour long*

[@jakubpopowski3887]

Same

[@babyYoda97]

😅

[@sergiovergaramontemiranda2116]

This a a 3/4in asmr what do you mean?, Your time persection is altered i suggest than you go to the sanatorium for that my friend

[@Rafael-vm7kj]

The video is so good that 1 hour just seems like 3-4min

[@fishfishrun1207]

Looks like I had a bag full of drugs dead hookers and all of the contraband from the Mans

[@albertahall3624]

Officer: “I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen.” Me: Lying down in bed, falling asleep to asmr “Welllll....”

[@TheSammami]

Haha oh my god took me a second.

[@jdmnissan]

Took me too long ...

[@superbob1906]

And because you fell asleep you are tonight’s biggest loser

[@aerodynamichotdog]

Are you aware that falling asleep, laying down, and listening to ASMR are all banned?

[@calblack4156]

@@aerodynamichotdog Us officers of the NWO are exempt from these bans

[@DellKaGor]

Take a shot everytime Officer Murray says "contraband" that is if hard drinks haven't been banned.

[@weebwhacker6217]

If so, straight vinegar.

[@games_fusion1393]

@@weebwhacker6217 vinegar had been banned

[@SuperAngel1345]

We know what happened last time alcohol was banned

[@DellKaGor]

@@SuperAngel1345 better pay your taxes

[@weebwhacker6217]

@@games_fusion1393 but not the cider vinegar

[@nervecentral]

I never thought I would say the following sentence: “The sound of unscrewing that pipe bomb was very relaxing.” Ps: Great work - love the sense of humor.

[@ian_grin7283]

You have the right to remain relaxed. Resistance will result in forced relaxation.

[@Caitlin939Cow]

Yo love Chelsea grin

[@BritishPanda]

Ian _grin There’s something I find entertaining about the Ashes To Ashes album cover pfp on an asmr vid haha, love that band though

[@AWACS_Snowblind]

_RELAX! DROP THE STRESS! STOP RESISTING! RELAX-_

[@stewiegriffin7237]

👀

[@ian_grin7283]

Phobia Star ;)

[@vitsecharo1853]

Officer Murray has a pretty interesting career: first - security officer at Arkham Sanitarium, now he works for the New world order. That's a career progression.

[@jacobfederici3710]

Lol wasn’t it Arkham mall at first

[@craigbainton4173]

Jacob Federici yep

[@iveros8481]

Now he's a security officer for the wrestling group nWo

[@clecanadalawexplained6330]

Jacob Federici Yes, he did. He’s quickly becoming one of my favourite minor characters in Rift World, right up there with Deep One Dave and Tinfoil Tim Tin Tipperman.

[@Solar_Inferno]

Peasant - all powerful being

[@xandermurdock6131]

(Log 2) An associate of mine nearly got caught by a security officer at a checkpoint. Evidently, the guard checked his bag and the secret compartments. The associate got off with a verbal warning. Unfortunately, the items were confiscated. Thankfully, he didn't find the sugary snacks and tinfoil AK-47 in the SECRET secret compartment. I've also continued my infiltration efforts. I've managed to steal a large chunk of intelligence and now have the location of an item known as "Grandma's Secret Pasta Sauce Recipe." Investigation ongoing. Will update as events warrant. Out.

[@flim_flam_shrim_shram6653]

Dr.t reference?

[@stewiegriffin7237]

Copy that, comerade. Proceed with caution

[@Solar_Inferno]

Did he find anything in the SeCrEt SECRET secret compartment with the tinfoil hat and get outta jail free card?

[@stewiegriffin7237]

@@Solar_Inferno thats too risky for him. Get out of jail free cards are banned

[@benchristensen9035]

Xander Murdock there was no need to worry he is an undercover Tin Foil Hat Society agent

[@NoLifeKing_0]

I love how you actually type the object names.

[@adelaidecruse2145]

i love how ER's hair and facial hair changes so dramatically over time, it gives all the different characters unique looks as well as personality

[@lankyboi2521]

“Im sure you’re an upstanding citizen” People who are in wheelchairs: well yes but actually no

[@purpleblob704]

Best comment. 10/10

[@Hypergen-]

But the NWO banned wheelchairs

[@rustlerv6549]

Wheels is an upstanding errr upsitting citizen

[@finn8665]

Oof size: LARGE

[@Cowman2626]

Unless they kill someone

[@nannerbutter]

er holding that camcorder like hes trying to figure out which side to start eating it from

[@sparkkoo0]

that grilled cheese camcorder must be so good

[@felix_spark7839]

Teodor Gerov ooooo what if it’s deep fried

[@fameolife]

Do you eat your camcorders with or without the cassettes

[@jacobski4824]

“Honey, what are you doing? It’s time for dinner.” “Just making a pipe bomb I’ll be right up”

[@yourmomsafurry1971]

I do that all the time!

[@saihv]

sorry, significant others are banned.

[@jimbothetimbo6790]

He got divorced :(

[@Airgialla32]

*S.A.M song plays in the distance*

[@anthrazite]

@@jimbothetimbo6790 Whut?

[@user-tb4nv4kk6w]

0:11 this is a certified hood classic

[@initialdespacito3666]

Him: “The human brain is not allowed here” Me: nO sHiT sHeRlOcK

[@shlapnut_6666]

"Oh you got a clean record" Little did he know i had the cleaning man clear my record huehuehue

[@woden__]

26:00 ER: "What is this" Me: "A pipe bomb" ER: "A pipe bomb?" Me: "Hey wait"

[@cokodogo00]

neonrain 😂

[@JeiPegOfARaptor]

"Whats this?" "A pipe bomb" "Alright youre good to go" " *_nani_* "

[@ShiroIsMyName]

Pi 8

[@JeiPegOfARaptor]

Nani

[@comradetumble9243]

If it was a bomb then he wouldn't be messing with it

[@itsyaboimason7069]

"you should be out of here in 3-4 minutes tops" **proceeds to sit in silence for 1 hour 6 minutes and 50 seconds while he slowly checks my bag** (Edit: ASMR idea, The viewer and a friend [you] [[Possibly Benjamin]] being freshly recruited by the NWO excitedly browse through the banned and confiscated items, examining them, tasting them [if they are eatable], and talking about the items if they are interesting, talking about what bans that you think are dumb, how you and the viewer like their new job.)

[@hammedburger3712]

Edible not eatable

[@shanf1639]

@@hammedburger3712 shut up pope, go drown in the Roman peninsula.

[@Toastandtea682]

Glad you shaved that shit of your face

[@mustardman1040]

Shannon 510th this is such an oddly specific insult lmao beautiful

[@prettyblaq7574]

Well... I was going to say that I thought the original idea was pretty cool, but since the other comments have taken a turn.... I'm just gonna sit this here and uh.... Good day/night everyone ✌️✌️

[@soggyapples1518]

I assure you officer, I’m merely a courier to deliver these items, I’m not permitted to rummage through them.

[@FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly]

I am the one at fault, thanks for delivering the items, I will have you reward prepared and waiting with the “man” man

[@Lockon2077]

Officer: "Here's your time stone" Me time to reverse time and hide my contraband.

[@tonyds1231]

How many futures did you see about the new world order?

[@Lockon2077]

@@tonyds1231 To many to count and all end with a record

[@PieceOfSchmidtt_Games]

Exactly that's why I had such clean records

[@purpleblob704]

Me: (starting to doze off as ER begins to check my rucksack) ER: *”Is this a human brain?”* Me: .____.

[@thekhoifish0146]

ಠ_ಠ

[@stanissmajorek5916]

Is this human brain ? Because it's baned.😂

[@flopanator]

They may have banned sitting and lying down, But they never banned squatting *TURNS UP SLAV MUSIC*

[@flyingfloorboard4097]

*UNTIL ME*

[@aidanmcneely9704]

Until 2025 when communism is illegal

[@evanardelean7389]

MUSIC IS ILLIGAL

[@luda0512]

slavic music has nothing to do with squatting, hardbass maybe does

[@luda0512]

Tate Nakashima why are you typing gibberish in cyryllic? stop

[@annie820]

Officer: I see you're breathing Me: ... Officer: Did you know breathing has bEeN BAnNeD>*$@-?

[@jimmypadgett4288]

Annie Good ah S H I T

[@GomiGames]

Me: oh ok......... WAIT WHAT [3 minutes later] Mom: he was a beautiful young man ER: (gets arrested) ER: WHAT DID I DO, whoops sorry (coughs) Speaking softly: what did I do (I don't know what I was doing typing this but the point was I died because I because I could not breath)

[@glitchtrap9112]

You're comment has been ordered to be removed from this off limits site known by it's... referred self which is KZbin by the NWO for the thing of which it holds off limit letters in it

[@Overkeyboarded]

@Annie Good oh not again!!!

[@MrGoose-hy8nk]

ER: “It’s from the 20th century? And here we are in the 194th century.” Me: “Odd flex but proceed”

[@Alisibeth_Talia212]

...This threw me way off-

[@wannabe-werecat]

seeing 'okay' replaced with 'proceed' is very unnecessarily funny

[@the05thatasked52]

@@wannabe-werecat he had to change it The letter a has been banned lol

[@SakuyalzayoiTheMaid]

*_Checking the gunpowder inside a pipebomb to be sure there is no contraband inside is a sure practice my sir. Good job._*

[@calstri]

25:50 *rustling* “What do we have in here next?” *stares at grey tube* “And what is this?” “A pipe bomb? Okay, interesting.” This is great

[@Shy-RG]

Explodes

[@YourMom-yg1yw]

“Pipe bombs…. Have not been banned yet, you’re free to keep this”

[@ethantaylor9613]

Last time they cornered the spam man they lost 15 agents on account of him being a goddamn Viking

[@LorreMaitale]

I’m surprised there haven’t been any “Big Brother” references like in 1984. Would fit really well into the NWO. Even better would be a video set in 1984 (the book). Would be cool to see you talk about the Party, thoughtcrime, etc.

[@stewiegriffin7237]

Also reminds me the animations of 'Autodale' on youtube

[@TheDismissor]

Phobia Star 1984 was banned that’s why

[@stewiegriffin7237]

@@TheDismissor ah

[@enriqueiglesias3176]

@@TheDismissor why was it banned

[@JeiPegOfARaptor]

Oh boy thoughtcrime. Dont even think about Big Brother in any wrong way in your sleep or they'll be down on you quicker than bees on flowers

[@ImmortalPlayer42069]

I have a feeling that “Time Stone” is going to some how fix everything going to shit.

[@specter_badguy9675]

Guard: I can't believe you would try to smuggle candy through a checkpoint. Me: No it's my bribe

[@froglover6998]

Ive been watching you for about two years now and i just cant even explain how much i love your work. The acting is convincing enough that the characters dont even seem dumb even when theyre over the top or just strange. its good stuff. And you can crank all these crazy ideas out without it even sounding absurd its just cool sci fi lore.

[@0megamanX]

next: NWO rigs the Iowa caucus | ASMR

[@jdmnissan]

Yes

[@sukhoisu-24fencer3]

That was an embarrassment. Damn Democrats.

[@jakobcarver9825]

This made me laugh historically. Thank you.

[@troobix_s]

8:40 - he did not write how many meters of bubble wrap. I see he wants to use some for himself...

[@tobim5574]

“Make sure you’re not transporting any contraband.” *me knowing I have at least 8 3D printed full auto sears in my backpack*

[@starwarsiscooll]

"If you're caught with a pencil ✏, you can be pUbIcLy ExEcUtEd FoR tHaT"

[@weebwhacker6217]

Its treason then.

[@theentiretyofhumanity8679]

I am the Senate

[@calblack4156]

@@theentiretyofhumanity8679 no I am the senate

[@Issengan]

@@calblack4156 not yet

[@severeautism5055]

Are you aware the senate has been banned by the NWO?

[@ghostly_games6731]

I have a code Magenta Squirrel -481 rhubarb pie in custody

[@MArs110-]

Ghostly_ Games 69th like nice

[@forc3ofxf3ar51]

Ghostly_ Games idk how u can say that sentence and not even smirk lol

[@joshporter5205]

A code Slappy Squirrel yackety schmackety rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb.

[@Amadeus55555]

Ya know, for us the viewer, this is very relaxing. But imagine what it’s like for the person in the vid, having one item that has been banned, and you can be shot immediately and they had eight items, that’s gotta be real scary

[@toomenytingles4123]

Well, it might be scary but the god-tier tingles are worth it!

[@Definesleep938]

"pulls out rubber chicken" Me: slowly turns volume down from 100%

[@Morpheus-wt7yb]

Is nobody talking about, that BAKING has been banned? Not even a service or an item, but baking in general. Paired with all kitchen utensils. If shops have been banned as well, the only grain you get is raw, if it´s not yet banned too. Now I´m scared of the future!

[@CrypticOfThUnderworld]

Wow the oil can trigger is very very satisfying.

[@Zimtblut]

The more I hear about the outside world, the more I long for the "safety" of Arkham Sanitarium *shudders*

[@IsabruhMoment]

45:40 “What is this...or do I not want to know?” Hilarious.

[@almostshay]

When they banned "and such" I really lost it

[@mattstudios740]

They banned the word NWO. This is getting ridiculous.

[@QUCKSCPER]

Rift: are you breathing? Person: yes. Rift:Sorry you’re not allowed to bring your lungs with you I’m gonna have to take these. Person: falls dead on floor cause they don’t have lungs. Rift: sorry you can’t bring dead bodies with you either. Person: disappears. Rift: ok you good to go.

[@jimmypadgett4288]

You deserve way more subscribers for the work you put in. Seriously, keep it up!

[@Mkmcco]

That dude must've gotten so annoyed when he said 5 minutes tops but the inspection ended up lasting over an hour

[@larrythecucumber4359]

Matthew McConico we are the dudes 😳😳

[@GomiGames]

Me : hey man I'll be back in a minute ER: OK Me grabs time stone and go's to the future That room 50 year's later: ER: he maybe went to get some McDonalds?

[@socialisingsigma1532]

"And youll be on your way" Me: have you seen what its like out there mur-ray?

[@BizzareJungle13]

Ah a man of culture

[@alevelthreemage344]

You get what you fu**ing deserve

[@Amadeus55555]

*shreds him to death with tinfoil covered AK-47*

[@SOULMuvex]

What do you get, when you cross, a mentally ill loner, WITH A SOCIETY THAG ABANDONS HIM AND TREATS HIM LIKE TRASH!???

[@jackwill9592]

@Christian Chavarria *proceeds to draw firearm and shoots Murray in the face*

[@AlekVen]

*Hears sound while tabbed out* Me: "That's dice." Murray: "A pouch of... dice?" Me: "Still worthy!" EDIT: we got to keep those even though some were banned. Never underestimate the power of the dice.

[@MagWasTaken]

Nat20 persuasion

[@craigbainton4173]

Mag. Or just a +9/10

[@geargrinder9935]

AlekVen's stupidface you rolled a 20 and confused the NWO guard you got to keep your dice!

[@weebwhacker6217]

*The divining stones*

[@the05thatasked52]

Guess you got lucky with the dice... *I'll stop*

[@Gorilla_Chaos]

“Oh so you have a primed pipbomb? “ *Proceeded to tap on it for a solid minute*

[@Erftan57]

ER: The letter A is banned. Me: *Looks at the letter A in “slave” and “today” on the wall behind him* Hmmmm

[@kenny5577]

He said if you work for the nwo you can use the prohibited items and things

[@maxm7200]

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact he doesn't do the incorrect "over and out" at the start

[@UltimoScorpion]

Hows that incorrect

[@ltlgameing]

@@UltimoScorpion when someone says "over" it means for the other guy to respond and "out" means it's the end of the conversation. So saying "over and out" is telling the other guy to respond but I'm ending the conversation

[@VPraetorian]

Is it neccsarily wrong if you want to send your last message but still expect a final response from your correspondant? I don't see why the application is inflexible even if the terminology is correct. What if you just want to give the other guy a chance to respond without doing a "no you hang up" routine or hearing their entire life story before they decide to stop.

[@zachcate7102]

Virgil Peterson does that happen to you often?

[@mikecleveland7042]

@@VPraetorian Yes, it is wrong because "out" not only indicates that you are specifically not expecting a response, but that you won't even still be on the radio to receive a response.

[@Mochael84]

“I’m sure you’re an upstanding citizen.” Me, who has seen the other Officer Murray videos: h-heh heh...yeaaaaaah...bout that...

[@diogoguerramontenegro8319]

"I'm sure you're an upstanding citizen" Me:*personal aquaitance of The Man* Yeah... about that

[@JeiPegOfARaptor]

45:49 "what is this or... *_do I not want to know?_* " Get your mind out of the gutter 😂

[@EvaLeighann]

Every time I, a citizen, return to the US 😂😂 I don’t know how you can make such a stressful infuriating experience into a comforting relaxing thing, but you do it so well, love this one.

[@Tark0wo]

"I pipe bomb, interesting." Me on a different tab: A what!?

[@Tark0wo]

And its not banned!??

[@rockythunder4458]

Tarku hi! What country are you from?

[@zarrowthehorse]

@@rockythunder4458 what

[@ShaunTheCHB]

"The following ASMR.....has been paid for by the New World Order".

[@TheDismissor]

But currency was banned O_O_O

[@shock4826]

this is literally the world 50 years in the future if net neutrality had taken action

[@Duck-404]

@@shock4826 No I'd in a couple months to 3 years.

[@CAPTTIGHT230]

LMAO

[@CtKEngage]

I was looking for the nWo wrestling reference. Mission accomplished.

[@denniscowe3289]

ER: You should be out of here in 3, maybe 4, minutes. Me: *checks timestamp* “1:06:50” Me: X to doubt

[@FrogEnthusiast_TheOneAndOnly]

ER: I’m sure you’re an outstanding citizen Me: bro I was humanity’s greatest threat before all this went went down 💀

[@CanonRailfan97]

“If this didn’t have a lid, you’d still be able to keep it.” Why not confiscate just the lid? 🤔

[@U_C_G]

ER: 'This should take 3 or 4 minutes tops' *Video is over an hour long* Me: 'Uh oh... I'm carrying some serious contraband, aren't I?'

[@wolsin9787]

Me: "Why is there kangoroo brain in your checklist?" Guard: "Why is there a brain in your back pack?"

[@professionalwrestlingvideo8650]

Ephemeral. I purchased a shirt from you, excited to wear my "Godless animal" shirt.

[@TheAmazingGhostNinja]

My head canon is that the record is actually getting wiped from every checkpoint and we're one of the "insert thing here" mans runners trying to deliver what you can. However since it's always wiped you manage to just get away with a warning every time.

[@admiralmudkip9836]

The best part of this roleplay is that Comic sans has outlived normal society. Comic sans is eternal

[@sarichgrif]

3:12 “Shouldn’t take very long at all” Me: LoOkS aT bIg NuMbErS aT ThE eNd Of ViDeO”

[@zacharymaher2855]

Wait... Isn't Officer Murray a member of the Tin Foil Hat Society...

[@nickbrandt2915]

Shhh my fellow tin foil hat member don't blow his cover!

[@tonyds1231]

@@nickbrandt2915 dont worry. Nefarious organizations are banned....also tinfoil....

[@fadedflame2537]

Nick Brandt y’all just been found out. *Cocks NWO brand tinfoil killer shotgun*

[@shamdogg]

Do you write lines and memorize them for these videos or do you just wing it? i mean don't you ever forget what to say? it's impressive

[@Sceleri]

I mean he gets an item out of the bag and asks you about it. Isn't that hard to remember, maybe some little things like the comment about the oil can and which order to take stuff out

[@wiktordorsz4900]

I think it was the last time when i happen to be checked in chekpoint... The fact that I had a time changing amulet... You know... And once again Rift has made an relaxing and interesting Asmr... Thanks Rift!

[@matthewaresluciscaelum1721]

ER: "Is this human brain?" Me: "Yup" ER: "Is this yours?" Me: "Uhhhh,let me *think* about"

[@Awobabobob09]

"I have a code magenta, squirrel, negative 481, rhubarb pie in CUSTARDy"

[@stewiegriffin7237]

The N.W.O.! We put the Banned in Contraband!

[@jedithenoooblet2680]

“I’m sure your an upstanding citizen” *laughs nervously in GTA player*

[@weebwhacker6217]

*cardiac arrest in RDR2 Murder hobo*

[@guffly]

>”Should be out in 3-4 minutes” > checks time > “if you say so man”

[@etherealhawk]

This legend out here serving and protecting every day for 4 years 🫡

[@thomasmontgomery805]

Fr bro same

[@VoiceofPersonaASMR]

I’m lowkey pumped to see officer Murray back. Underrated character!

[@noahdecorte9636]

"You should be out of here in 3, 4 minutes, tops." 1 hour later: Yeah...

[@NewAgeWorkout]

*of

[@scpfoundation8376]

I was about to make the same exact comment.

[@EcdElite]

Think of it like anime dio stops time for then seconds which is about 1 minute for us

[@colonclosedparantheses293]

Oh boy. NWO! Otherwise known as New World Online! My favorite fantasy VR game in an anime called: *"I hate being in pain so I think I'll make a full defense build"* I'm not in the right neighborhood am I?

[@hello_i_exist_uwu]

breaking news! Monster destroys part of a NWO storage house, people get the banned items back!

[@nicoandtheniners8111]

Quote of the day: "And what were you planning on doing with this ampersand?"

[@etherealhawk]

Makes me wonder what happened to that loaner brain and whether the "not-mine" loophole was patched by the devs

[@somepharmacist]

Thank The Entity for rift not putting ads in the middle of his videos.

[@wolfgangclark1475]

"this is a human brain"... "is this yours?" i just lost it, could stop laughing!

[@sparkplugdoug4489]

Does his world kinda remind anyone else of the series of unfortunate events universe? Like organizations that are kinda wacky but really seriously carried out, eerie world that’s similar to ours but through a different lens if you will. It’s so freaking fascinating and I love the mythos he’s created

[@mike6916]

I like how the way you say N.W.O. almost sounded like "End of your world" to me at first

[@door.4975]

I accidentally sinned I came here to be purified by your calm voice