The NSFL Iceberg Explained ❤️ (PART 2)

uh oh it got real
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#IcebergExplained #iceberg #explained

[@feralpoodles]

you're the only person i trust to make a video about nsfl and gore without being weird about it. almost no one acknowledges the blatant racism and other bigotry in general surrounding this type of content

[@Mig02597]

Plague moth is pretty good too

[@21Cayque12]

Some people don't acknowledge those elements cause they are pretty much encouraging them and acting like edgy League Of Legends players

[@Str8OuttaFrayser919]

racism is a human element youre dumb asf and super domesticated if you ever fooled yourself to think diff

[@natalie_the_ratalie]

@@Mig02597 but is he really?

[@girldissected]

@@Mig02597 buddy... i hope u have changed ur opinion on this

[@cthuwu]

I appreciate that you call out this iceberg for focusing on stuff like ISIS, cartels or just the Chinese when these crimes happen everywhere. In your first video you mentioned how people forget that these evil things happen here in America and i feel like painting these other horrific groups as uniquely evil helps fuel xenophobia and i really appreciate you fighting against that.

[@i.shuuya3231]

I remember not so long ago someone asking for American war crime videos in a gore website. OP also questioned why those videos were virtually inexistent compared to army footage coming from countries like Russia or China. It wouldn't be rational to assume that's because the American army is morally and ethically perfect. We've all seen how some individuals act when they get power (cops being a good example). Of course all the replies became hostile towards OP, completely failing to acknowledge that their country is also subject to censorship. In fact, every country in the world uses censorship as a tool. It's used for the smallest things such as prohibiting adult videos airing on TV. Control is effective when it's invisible. The US knows this damn well, therefore we have millions of individuals thinking they are on the good side of the story. A consequence of this is that all the media content they produce have an imperceptible bias towards their country.

[@CS-zb7hx]

I think so much of it roots in people not being able to understand that just because the footage is easier to access in some of these places (or they're putting it out there intentionally) doesn't make it more common. More visibility doesn't equal more crime.

[@MercenaryBlackWaterz]

EVIL THINGS DO NOT HAPPEN IN AMERICA! ...oh wait Uvalde children dispatched with a weapon designed to kill grown men in armor in a war. Maybe evil things do happen in America.

[@KickinRadTopHat]

I very rarely see people making the connection between cartel violence and the School of the Americas, so I gotta hand it to May for putting this stuff into much deserved and often conveniently ignored historical context. So many of these videos come from places that were the victim of US/western imperial ambition within the last century and I guess the average first world person just thinks the violence comes from nowhere, like these places have always been like this, but they haven't. Many, if not all, of these countries were intentionally interfered with and destabilized for the explicit purpose of expanding US/western business interests and "fighting communism". You can look at a lot of this stuff as western imperial violence coming back to haunt the people who have spent their lives benefiting from it. Is it worth it if maintaining it requires this much wanton cruelty to be swept under the rug?

[@oreofudgeman]

What's truly a trip are the literal isis fan accounts that make edits of their videos with phonk music on top of it, it's super bizzare.

[@alicethemad1613]

I love that you cover distressing content like this in a way that’s funny without being disrespectful and acknowledging how fucked up it all is without making it super nihilistic.

[@digitalghost6665]

YES!! thats why i dont enjoy plagued moth, he seems really disrespectful (and is also a huge hypocrite, gets sponsers on vids about peoples suicides and gets shitty when someone calls him out)

[@daan460]

Its truly a talent

[@winglessfairy564]

@@digitalghost6665And I feel like his wife is worse. I remember she was doing a voiceover for one of his videos where he was covering yet another gruesome video and of course she started off the explanation to the gruesome crime with “this goes out to you, daddy” or something like that. Beyond disrespectful, insensitive and disgusting

[@velvetbec]

I just wanna say that I appreciate how these vids do talk about horrific stuff that you could theoretically go and see online somewhere, but don't feel like they're being framed in a way which is almost daring you to watch something you can't handle, which is how some vids that introduce you to things feel. I can get a bit of context without delving deeper than I can handle.

[@dellybird5394]

Yeah these videos are a great way to get an overview of some gruesome things you may be curious about, while minimizing the risk of going in deeper than you prepared for. Plus May gives a good perspective on the bigger issues these topics highlight, and her outlook is honestly pretty inspiring

[@tiddieappreciator5370]

honestly watching May's stuff gave me an entirely different outlook on horror not just as a genre but as a concept, as someone who grew up with no internet restriction and ended up in rabbitholes of Horrible internet spaces. they always posed stuff as a test, like 'oooh can you stomach this?' and a metric of coolness for how nonchalant you can be about human suffering, and almost every other horror internet circle ive seen over the years approached it the same way, while May has been (for me) the first source of 'heres some horrible stuff, its okay if its hard to stomach because thats part of nature, but knowing it happens is natural like knowing humans eat then poop' or wanting to analyse why humans are enticed by doing horrible things to other humans without somehow putting them in pedestals (like serial killer fandoms or whatever thats all about). i may be all wrong about this because i havent gotten to watching Every single video but its just been how i perceived it and it kinda broke the hatred i started having for horror media with the almost competitiveness/voyeuristic image some of their consumers gave it

[@crazyfun95]

I just got a weird visualization of May, coming down my chimney, dressed as Mrs Claus, bringing me a bag full of NSFL content. It truly is Christmas.

[@cremeuxkraft9019]

The b-a-n-a-n-a-s had me rolling at 4am. Christmas indeed.

[@graceanderson7933]

Christmas has come early this year

[@scottshepard1215]

Loool

[@cryptidonstrike]

I genuinely appreciate the Bloomer intro, I know we’re doing a liiiittle bit of irony but the bit when you said “It’s okay. We don’t despair. We tell the ones we love that we love them because we know we may never see them again. That’s reality.” was genuinely comforting somehow

[@Flanclanman]

Thank you for your talk about self-harm. Because of the whole awkward silence surrounding self-harm, I've never been able to put into words WHY I turned to it as a coping mechanism when things were at their worst, and how to help other people who are self-harming. I might clip this bit out and share it with friends. Thank you for your work

[@Flanclanman]

@Sludgerat I mean I couldn't explain why I was doing it

[@outercat]

I can only imagine how hard it is to put into words something that seems to fly in the face of rationality for others. sending you good vibes, friend.

[@grayson4072]

I was also thinking about clipping the section. Lemme know if you do it first

[@novabova37]

It has been scientifically proven that asking about a person's self harm or self ending thoughts do not increase the likelihood of them doing more. I am glad you brought this up. It is so important to discuss these things and lessen the stigma.

[@kayleighbrown459]

As someone who has been through a decade of self ending thought, has friends who have self harmed and more than a few family members who have been lost to suicide, I can not press this enough. Talk to them. Even if you think you can't do anything to help, there's little to no chance of you making it worse. Seriously, anyone reading this who's got loved ones in a dark place, your simple presence makes so much difference.

[@spencerw4160]

Another horrifying thing about the surviving a machete is that it’s a case of domestic violence, her partner was the one that did that to her and I believe her children were in the home at the time

[@solfell_]

they showed us red asphalt in my driver's ed class in high school. it's been 15 years and i still don't have a driver's license. jury's still out as to whether or not these two things are connected lol. anyway, i'm very glad you're sharing all of this without showing clips or pictures. i'm morbidly curious but also a weenie/not interested in being more traumatized than i already am. if my brain wants me to hear about horrible shit, i might as well hear it from a source that isn't callous and exploitative.

[@hammedburger9861]

Yeah I’ve seen too many car crash psas and now I’m scared to drive 😭

[@GTdba]

Each time I drive with my windows half lowered, I recall an accident involving a cracked open skull and so I promptly close or open it all the way, no inbetweens. Turns out there is a chance it may kill you, should you get yourself into a T-Bone crash and hit it with the side of your head. All in all I believe there is a purpose to shocking material, it's the lesser Evil. Maybe not everybody learn something...I definitely did, oh boy!

[@unorthodoxic4691]

@@hammedburger9861 I get what they're trying to do, make students practice safe driving, but I believe showing brutal car crashes/psas is counterproductive. It just makes the students afraid of driving. How about encouraging the students while gently reminding them of what could happen if they don't practice safe driving :/

[@Gammera2000]

Oh yeah, I remember they showed us one about Jacqui Saburido. That's the big fear film they showed us in Texas

[@anxietypenguin4901]

This was literally part of our school curriculum to watch for our career and life management class in high-school. Yay early 2000's Canadian school system.

[@padst7398]

May I lost a friend to what seems like suicide less than two weeks ago. My last message to her was asking her if she was ok based on worrying Instagram stories . What you said about the guilt is very real to me. I am so glad you are still with us and thank you for that inspiring message in a video that seemingly appealed to my worst influence

[@h77207]

Sorry for your loss ❤️

[@kirbysthiccthighs]

i’m so sorry for your loss. please know it’s not your fault and you did everything you could. as a survivor, i guarantee your message helped her remember that she was loved/not forgotte, even in her worst moments. i’m so sorry she succeeded in her attempt- may she finally be at peace. 💔🕊 she was very lucky to have a friend like you, and i can promise she loved you very much.

[@ApoptosisNecrosis]

people really tend to underestimate how fucked up and traumatic car accidents can be to people who survive like? shit sucks. we both survived but seeing my mom struggle to breathe while bleeding out from an open head wound after a bad accident we were in? super will never forget that trauma of thinking i was seeing my moms last moments

[@TheSim1derful]

For real! When I was teen my best friend got into a horrific car accident with a drunk driver. That was in grade 9, and me and other friends drove her everywhere until grade 12. She couldn't get behind the wheel

[@winglessfairy564]

Oh my god. I just imagined my mum going through that and I feel like that’s traumatizing enough! I’m so sorry you had to experience that but also relieved to hear that you were all okay

[@_ivy_1313]

Wow, May…whatcha said about self-harm, ‘bout taking the emotional pain & making it physical to ACTUALLY take care of it….really struck a chord. Always love your work girl!🖤

[@mothmangotango]

AGREED! I have a history of self-harm, and have done some recently, and I have not been able to pick apart why I did or where the urge was coming from. Thank you for helping me understand myself better, May.

[@sleepingisathing6598]

@@mothmangotango only applies to people who tend to their wounds

[@mallowhoney]

Degloving is literally one of my worst fears, even just thinking of it and Gerald's Game makes me shiver and become queasy. The only other concept that fills me with so much dread is the idea of someone peeping in my windows. I am petrified to look at my windows at night for fear there will be a face. I am equally terrified of degloving.

[@lillebror1567]

Same, I saw the scene from the movie she mentioned (partially censored) and I'm about to faint

[@loki1456]

I thought I was the only one terrified to look out my window and see a face staring back at me! You have made me feel better about having that fear.

[@shooshoo4590]

@@loki1456 i feel you on that, i could only sleep with the blinds closed as a kid because i was so scared of someone being outside my window. Terrifying stuff

[@MeonLights]

I watched Doctor Sleep yesterday where something similar happens (just partially) and it is truly something that makes me need to sit on my hands to focus my brain on my skin being where it is. It's truly spine chilling

[@sarahcrowe612]

My biggest fear would be my Arteries being cut and bleeding out.

[@antisphinx]

Re:degloving and the Russian lathe accident - I work in design&manufacturing and every shop I've ever been in has a horror story. Maybe not something that happened in that particular shop, but something that happened to someone we knew. (I mean hell, I came about within 5mm of getting my leg melted off while pouring molten bronze) The Yale lathe incident is one that gets talked about a lot. Work and shop safety is no fucking joke

[@rudebega1494]

I work in the safety training industry and wooo, people don’t realize how many of these regulations were written in blood. I’ve seen some shit just as part of my job that haunts me. Not just machining accidents either-the knowledge of what some of these common chemicals can do the human body makes me nauseous. Chemicals that are used in facilities just outside a small town or rolled through your city or your highway on transport every day! Eeeesh.

[@GTdba]

That forsaken video is the only one that still sticks to the back of my brain. Each time I look at my Wood Lathe spinning ( lucky for us, behind its proper safety panels) I clearly recall that poor guy being torn apart. It's the only time a gruesome video has left me with such an impression, perhaps because I work in a place where there is an actual risk of a similar accident. The aftermath pictures...are BAD. Really, really BAD.

[@ActionYakPolice]

she mentioned the weepy voice 911 call and didn't say anything about it so I looked it up: "Paul Michael Stephani (September 8, 1944 - June 12, 1998) was an American serial killer. He was also known as the Weepy-Voiced Killer due to a series of telephone calls he made to police, anonymously reporting his crimes in a remorseful and high-pitched voice."

[@tenworms]

Jesus fucking christ, thank you so much for this video May. We're on similar arcs right now from the sound of things, but I've been faltering and buckling to my own shame and guilt a lot lately, it was legitimately so helpful to hear you talking about your experiences and your post-attempt outlook. I've gotten better about communicating when I'm at my most suicidal but I still wind up being really hard on myself about it and going into doomer spirals. I wanna be a bloomer too!

[@celery8059]

I have never heard someone talk about self harm the way you have, and I really feel like my emotions have been verbalized. Thank you for being open about your experiences, I’m sure you have reached many more people as well !

[@pinkdruidess6236]

You just answered a burning question I've had for weeks now. The baby soup thing? I work in a library, and a patron and I were talking about general things to do with food and buying groceries. And he started sighing over the fact that you can't get farm fresh food anymore, which you can, but that's beside the point. He then looks me dead in the eye and says, "you know they're putting fetuses in the food, right?" My brain shut down for about five full seconds, where in my face was quite unreadable. Because here's the thing... we're not really allowed to argue with patrons. That's not a thing library workers can do, so I had to just say, "oh is that right?" My voice cracking with the strain, while he nodded solemnly that indeed that was right. And the thing I couldn't get over wasn't that he believed it... Because I'm never THAT shocked by people's ability to take up the sword over some truly whackadoo stuff. It was WHERE DID HE GET THIS IDEA? Who told him this? Who convinced him of it? So it was either that pseudo documentary or Alex Jones himself. Mystery solved.

[@lelfah]

It's a Bank Holiday here in UK, sitting chilling, knitting a scarf whilst listening to May. Always love waking up to a new video. So May begins to discuss Darkness in my heart (was that her name? I'm sleepy) plaguedmoth showed a pic of her arm and at the time of seeing it I thought it was extremely exploitational tbh. May then goes on to speak about self harm in such a real, relatable, empathetic and refreshing way that I started crying into my knitting. If you read this May, I fucking love you. Frankly it's ridiculous that people think you are jaded. You are a ray of sunshine and always have been. Thanks for sharing your past trauma, I oddly feel less alone ❤️💐

[@anxietypenguin4901]

I love that there's someone else knitting while watching this video. I'm making baby blankets that I donate to the local hospital,

[@lelfah]

@@anxietypenguin4901 that's a beautiful gesture, 🤘🏻 I'm still learning knitting but managed some scarfs and now working on some blankets for a local animal sanctuary. You are a beautiful person ❤️ keep on enjoying your knitting ⚘️

[@Jessery]

Absolutely right about not anticipating what will fuck you up. I've seen countless hours of terrible, real-life violence and been mostly okay. However, I watched Bully (2001) yesterday for the first time in many many years and I'm still fucked up about it and it doesn't feel like I'll be okay again for a while. Even though it's the third time I've seen it and it's never had that effect on me before. Life experiences and age is what I'm assuming are the factors that made it hit differently this time. I honestly just don't know anymore lol. Love ya, May!

[@GhostManBrandonDDpre]

For the tightrope accident, was it Karl Wallenda 1978? He literally was the greatest and most famous tight rope walker of all time. He would do building to building walks throughout his career, he set every record you could imagine and his family, the Flying Wallendas, performed death defying feats in huge circuses on trapeze and tightrope, all over the world, for decades. He was 73 when he fell and died in San Juan, PR and it was shown completely on the evening news. I remember it vividly.

[@kwarra-an]

My god, 73?! He was doing these stunts into his 70s? Absolutely amazing. It's very sad he died, but I suppose there's some "comfort" to be found in that he died doing what he loved.

[@rootbeer2750]

holy shit i learned about Nikki Catsouras by accident while doing research for a project in elementary school and it fucked me up for a while. i don’t actually remember if i ever saw any images or if i just imagined them from the article’s description but what freaked me out the most was that people would be so eager to harass a grieving family with pictures of their dead daughter

[@Jedi-cloud]

“ not ‘are you okay?’ But ‘can you tell me *with words* what you are feeling” -May

[@bethsemane69930]

it’s so hard following you bc i love your personality and vibes but also being so terrified of all your content lmaooo

[@AllergyPuppy]

Good video as always May! To expand a bit on the Jonestown thing, there are eye witness and survivor’s perspectives out there! Even of the “main event” so to speak. They are fascinating and heartbreaking to read. “A Thousand Lives” by Julia Scheeres has interviews with survivors and is an overall great book on the subject. “Convincing” isn’t so much the right term for what happened was coercion. The people of Jonestown had been systematically physically and mentally tortured, and were mentally and physically exhausted. Jones had pulled fake versions of poisoned drinks before as well. And, well. Everyone was at gun point. Many were injected against their will. It took a lot to get them there. People can often attribute a supernatural quality to Jim Jones that simply didn’t exist. He was doing performance art of “”convincing”” people while letting things other than words do the real talking. I hope this gave you more perspective and a direction for an interesting reading! Jonestown and what lead to it can be really hard to understand and grapple with.

[@AliceLynn]

It says a lot about a person who can take topics that are branded 'Not Safe for Life' and give meaningful, impactful, and sensible teaching moments about what our society deems 'taboo' and 'shameful'. How May pulls that veil back and goes 'yeah, that sucks but here's what no one understands about it and that's what really fucking sucks' is refreshing and feels safe in unsafe topics.

[@noisemisato]

thank you for talking about self-harm and disordered eating so openly! removing shame from trauma and our reactions to it is so important for getting to a better place. one thing i wanna add for anyone who happens to read this is that falling back into bad habits-- whether that's self-harm, EDs, addiction, or anything else-- is not a personal failing and does not indicate some inevitable decline back to rock bottom. i think the general notion of "relapsing" often adds even MORE stigma to engaging in self-destructive behavior and makes it harder to seek help. it's totally possible to recognize that slipping up happens bc that behavior did serve you in some way in the past-- but that it doesn't anymore, you've managed without it before, and it's possible to get back there and build a more solid foundation. as someone who has begun self-harming/smoking/not eating again after swearing that behavior off, MANY times, shifting the idea of relapse into something much less drastic has helped keep conversations about it much more open and helped stop recklessness before it becomes a serious problem. best of luck to anyone struggling 💜

[@boel7522]

Thank you for opening up like that. I know it’ll reach someone who needs to hear it. No one should feel ashamed when they’re hurt. To May and anyone else reading this: keep being kind to yourself

[@woha6]

I see the story of Tim McLean's death as a perfect example of the importance of getting rid of the shame attached to seeking help, and having those hard conversations. The murder was a schizophrenic man, and had been diagnosed previously. However, he was not receiving treatment and it's theorised that due to the man being a new English speaker, he didn't actually understand his condition, and couldn't find care in his language. After Tim McLeans death, he lived in a psychiatric hospital for almost a decade, then more time in a group home. He eventually left the group home and is living independently with a new name. (You can find his new name online, but give the dude some privacy, jeez.) Last we had heard anything about him he was returning to education and work with a strong support network that truly believed he was ready. As far as I know he hasn't committed any more violent crimes. Both of these men are victims, in very different ways. Both of their lives could have been saved if this man had received the proper care soon enough.

[@lydias3884]

so unrelated to the main topic but the way you talked about self harm made me cry because for the first time ive seen someone being able to put into words exactly how i feel and how it is much easier to feel physical pain than psychological pain. back on topic, i love your videos and i think you are awesome

[@catb3787]

I'm someone who gets extremely curious about this sort of thing but also I have no desire to see it because I KNOW how bad it would effect me. I really appreciate you explaining what exactly these things are without actually making us see them. I don't trust most of these "x explained" vids because there's always a chance the creator will include footage, but I know you're conscientious enough to not do that to your viewers. 💖💖💖

[@brendanrouth3807]

In my opinion there's a certain point where a body can be mangled enough that looking at photos of it stops being disturbing and just kinda gross. Like looking at the aftermath photos of the Byford Dolphin accident or the lathe videos is... it's just meat. At that point it's just meat. Gross yeah but not super disturbing. The disturbing stuff is when there's enough left over that you can tell it was very recently a person. Also I'll watch a thousand accident gore videos before I ever watch something like that brick video.

[@kwarra-an]

Yeah, the Byford Dolphin photos genuinely looks like something you'd see laid out in a butchery display.

[@nii9466]

the brick video is really awful, even though you don't actually see the impact or anything. it's the reaction of the husband that gets to you. it's scarred me, any time it gets brought up I tense up from my muscles to my soul (or something? i dont know how to phrase it) point being, please continue to avoid it. it's legitimately traumatizing

[@morganalabeille5004]

I accidentally saw the Byford Dolphin photos in high school and it gave me nightmares the following night. I remember thinking it looked like pulled pork

[@ChantelleInChains]

i don’t want to google it, what is the byford dolphin accident?

[@kwarra-an]

@@ChantelleInChains It was a tragic accident in 1983 aboard the Byford Dolphin drilling rig. Five people died, and one was very badly injured. The drilling rig was semi-submersible, and the four divers had just finished a dive and were about to rest in the decompression chambers (this is a very slow process). The divers' tenders were there too, and one of these guys for an unknown reason (probably miscommunication) opened a hatch too early and caused the entire rig to plunge from 9 atmospheres to 1 atmosphere instantly. This is called "explosive decompression". Their blood boiled instantly in their veins, even the fats in their blood denatured. Their lungs exploded. The tender who opened the hatch was sucked through a narrow (~60cm) opening in the door; this is the victim whose post-mortem photos I described as looking like a butchery display. When a body gets essentially extruded like a sausage... it's basically unrecognisable. We can at least be thankful that the deaths of these people were extremely quick. They did not suffer, or know in advance what was going to happen (so felt no fear).

[@constanzehorntrich4420]

did not expect to almost cry at a video about NSFL content. but your talk about Self harm and Suicide felt so loving and comforting and wow. just thank you.

[@illyriashade56]

I've always had a lot of problems processing my emotions and dealing with mental illness because it is so taboo to talk about "ugly" emotional problems and I hated myself for so long because of it and it wasn't until I learned that there are other people who feel those things that I feel that I was able to move forward and actually get help for myself. It is hard to help yourself when you think you're a freak and the only one experiencing severe emotional pain and distress.

[@insertcheesypunhere]

about the suicide thing: ive been at points where i bottled up my suicidal thoughts and still managed to survive. but i was also lucky enough that when i couldn't push past it, i did open up, and found that opening up the conversation made things much easier to communicate in the future. i know not everyone is that lucky, but i still recommend at least trying if you can.

[@noamklar8432]

Your personality is so killer, I could listen to you talk about absolutely anything. Love your content!

[@EmiaRaine]

As someone who did at one point self harm, I really appreciated you talking about it. Especially in a no-bullsh!t way. You treated it with the dignity required, but didn't tiptoe around it - I feel like a lot of good intentions get lost when people don't want to talk about it for fear of upsetting others. It's a tricky subject. My own scars are not very pronounced, I really only have one that's visible and I look at it every day. It reminds me of where I was and how far I've come since then. It was the worst point of my life but I kept it largely to myself. And when someone did see, I didn't get help (I didn't want help at the time) I was told to stop it. That's it. Just stop it. Or worse, when my self harm was brought up, certain people literally walked away from me because they didn't want to deal with it. No joke. So appreciate it being brought up, especially by someone who knows what it's like to go through that, and basically validate that's history and those feelings. Communication is key. I felt like I couldn't communicate and if something happened that I felt wrong for or if I got upset, I would hurt myself in my own punishment. Self harm needs to be talked about. Really talked about. People shouldn't rely soly on phone numbers. I feel like those can help, but people might feel almost guilty calling them. I know I did, so I never reached out. Self harm deserve so respect and sincere attention, and shouldn't be glamourised. It's no time beautiful. Not in that moment. Strength can be found in those scars, and the simple fact that they exist at all does not mean one is broken. It means you are strong and a survivor. You can learn from that pain. People who self harm should not feel guilty or be shamed for doing so. They should not be shut out because they are in pain. And discussions about it should not be avoided nor romanticised. It may bring back awful memories, but something to consider is that those memories are what brought us to here in the present to begin with. Sorry for the rant. The points brought up in this video are great to hear and I'm glad people like May are willing to talk about it.

[@1Bluefur]

How insanely lucky I feel to have watched your first video, and then gone "I feel like there's MORE left out here than she's letting on" and then discovering a part 2. But not only THAT but I just so happened to have found it on the DAY it was published. With only 36 views and 14 comments. Anyways, that's probably a super tiny and kinda stupid thing, but life sure is odd sometimes. This has never happened to me before and I don't think it will again. But hey, honestly, thanks for getting into this stuff in the way you have. You're both funny and respectful of the shit you're covering. I'm writing this at the start of the video so I guess if I have something extremely mind-blowing or insightful to say, I'll say it in a different comment. I just thought the timing was super funny, so CLEARLY, that warranted a comment all on its own. Edit: This is still in the start of the video but I see your cat, I love your cat, and I'm sorry if I did NOT see your cat in the first one. Pls tell your cat that they are very loved but at least one (1) random in the internet.

[@OctopusOwl]

Sleepy ninja kitty is well loved indeed ❤

[@loki1456]

I didn't notice the kitty! Thank you for pointing out the kitty to me!

[@OctopusOwl]

Your perspective at the end is so uplifting and an absolute middle finger to despair and apathy.❤

[@hivolt_inc]

I think I really needed that speech you gave near the end about being a bloomer. Seeing the despair both from one's own emotional pain and the state of the world, and then choosing to bloom past that. Not to ignore the root issues but to resolve to do something about them, and to avoid stagnation. I feel like it's going to be hard but I'm gonna try.

[@SeveralCatsInATrenchCoat]

"My nudes." I belly laughed. Been enjoying your content for years now and I genuinely hope you get that internet blow up you want. It's long overdue.

[@LoganHollowC]

Oh god the degloving bit from Gerald’s game also got to me. I work at a warehouse and there are constant safety meetings about people getting caught in the transition plates between conveyor belts and just their hands and arms being completely eaten by the machine. Thankfully I haven’t been witness to one so far 🤞

[@JadeCryptOfWonders]

I just had a new haircut and beard trim before starting to watch this video, so this is the most dapper I have ever been when engaging in viewership of May Leitz content.

[@scarletnighthawk]

What I love about your channel is that you don’t shy away from what reality is. Loved the part near the end when you were talking about how there’s no shame in suffering. That was honestly really inspiring.

[@HiBuddyyyyyy]

I wasn’t expecting such a wholesome thing in this video. Possibly the best thing I’ve heard said about self-harm. Thank you for that.

[@ellacray6314]

wow, your take on self harm is the conclusion I've come to about my self recently as to why I've been struggling with it for so many years. you put it into words perfectly. and also, your content and your book, which I absolutely love, has been helping me through a lot lately :) you're awesome may, I wish you luck on your main goal to blow up, and then act like you don't know nobody

[@khole5809]

I'm glad you are genuinely taking control of this subject matter and position publicly for individuals drawn to this content. Much more then the figure referenced in part 1. I just hope you stay safe bc of the type of people who are drawn to this subject matter.... are something else. In any case great job on the music btw and I'll be listening to this in the morning. 💝💖

[@QuillBleu82]

Just because people watch this shit doesn’t mean they’re bad people. Not everyone who watches real gore wants to hurt people. Sometimes people who watch this kind of shit were hurt extremely deeply and often repetitively by other people and for whatever reason can process their own pain by watching these videos. I avoid real gore these days but I used to watch it with shameful frequency as a teen when I was going through what I thought was the hardest shit in my life and I have no answer why but these videos helped me to work through my shit. I’m a pacifist and couldn’t imagine hurting anyone (except in the cases of self-defense or the defense of a third party) and have no desire to hurt anyone.

[@bong_water]

@@QuillBleu82 i couldn’t hurt a bug but gore… do be in my history i can’t lie

[@Nanonear]

I don't think you should feel ashamed for profiting off these videos. You open conversations that are so important here. Certain people a drawn to videos like this and they/we really needed to hear these things. It's saying something that the parts that will really stick with me isn't degloving or people bursting, but your points about how we as people navigate a world with so much harm. It's a difficult subject to tackle without simply falling into co-rumination or gross shock value. You really are a treasure, May. I hope the success of these videos don't stop you from making more light hearted content too or simply taking a healthy break now and then.❤

[@archandia]

weight loss is something others are so fucky about, even people that notice it usually don't say anything because society views it as such a net positive smoothies and getting water bottles changed my life and shit still happens sometimes but i feel better *emotionally* for talking to someone and realizing what i needed to do because someone else was willing to be open. tl;dr thank you for being so up-front and candid.

[@Boggythefroggy]

Thank you for being so open about your struggles with mental health and self harm, it brought me to tears and as someone who is depressed and often su*cidal, it was so sweet and comforting to hear. Also the term bloomer is amazing

[@cyggygremiln]

I'm really glad you're still here may. I also loved your talk about self harm and suffering at the end. It's real stuff and people do need to embrace their emotions, all of them.

[@nii9466]

to kick off I know this is absolutely weird but I got so stoked when May brought up degloving!! I have close family who work w the elderly and um. with the elderlys' fragile skin, degloving can just....happen, sometimes. no exertion necessary. I had learned about this far too young, probably, lol

[@ohshctrash1410]

I've never personally experienced a red asphalt moment, but I have lived in or very near a city my whole life and oh boy the car related trauma! Such as: - A car on fire pulled over on the side of the highway. But not just in the breakdown lane, like, on the grassy hill - Heard over the loudspeaker at my highschool that a kid had been hit by a car outside the school THAT MORNING as we were going into school - Almost been hit by a car on my bike and had to just....bike home like I didn't very nearly die - And been surrounded by white bikes and trees decorated with flowers and balloons to represent people hit by cars. It's weird to grow up around this shit, it really is.

[@thatzerogirl]

honestly the fact that you've made these two videos speaks volumes about the kind and compassionate person you are. i wouldn't want anyone else on the internet telling me about what exists on the internet and why people make it and what it says about... idk i guess society that we have the reactions to this kind of content that we do. bless you may, you're an absolute gem. i'm gonna buy yer book.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

It's kind of wild that you spoke to Ameera LaVey before her passing. I remember hearing the news about what happened just as I was getting out of work and it stunned the whole community. The actress Chelsea Chainsaw who was in his one short film A Perfect Child of Satan has also since passed away, but I don't completely know the circumstances as to what happened.

[@heathers7789]

chelsea chainsaw died??? i cant seem to find any info abt that, where did you hear abt it?

[@SirChubbyBunny]

​@@heathers7789 Through a mutual friend of mine in the underground horror community. I want to say she died last year, but I'd have to check in with him again to be fully sure.

[@havendotcom]

"Self-harm in a lot of respects represents taking an idea an emotional, metaphysical pain, something you can't begin to understand, putting it on your body in a tangible way so that you can observe it and you can take care of it. It's hard sometimes when you have an emotional wound to know how to take care of an emotional wound, but you do know how to take care of a physical wound, because it is so practical. So oftentimes self-harm is an act of taking something that is esoteric and making it literal, so that you have to take care of yourself, so that you have to put yourself back together, so that somebody is taking care of you." (1:11:10 in the video) That made me cry. I feel seen. Thank you, May ❤️

[@pillbugjam]

may, im so grateful for your self harm talk, i feel like im trauma dumping here lmao but you sharing your experience with us makes me want to share mine with you. ive self harmed for years now and im still trying to deal with it and, a couple months ago, i found out that my little sister also self harms and only recently she has opened up to me (although very briefly). ive been wanting to talk to her about it, help her somehow, but i haven't had the guts to tell her about my experience, the whole "i don't know how to help myself so how the fuck do i help you" kind of thing, but your talk has genuinely helped me figure some stuff out and I'm so so grateful, thank you :)

[@buck-moon]

This made me cry, and that's a great thing. I wasn't expecting such a frank discussion about s/h and attempts, but the way you broke down and differentiated it between more tangible signs of injury or illness just light up so many lightbulbs. I've often felt guilty about talking about my struggles, especially to my partner, because I was raised with the understanding that any emotion outside of what was expected was annoying, manipulative, and not worth my caregiver's time. I legitimately hadn't realized I was still carrying that inward understanding with me until this video. I thought that because I've been doing the work of therapy, taking my meds, reaching out to crisis lines and even the hospital, that my persistent sadness and fear was just a deficit on my behavior. You actually TALKING about these things instead of just posting a number or website made me realize that, even though intentions are good, when people simply post a number or move on that carries the message of these feelings being burdensome too. "You can talk about it, but not to me." Actually hearing this experience finally gave some of this pain I've been struggling with a face and in that instant, I felt like I could handle it in the first time in months. Thank you. I want to be a bloomer too.

[@sluggo3938]

the part about fetuses in pepsi was so funny to me because ive had this unique thing for years where i think cola and pepsi both taste like blood. ive asked my friends and people on the internet for answers and nobody can relate. im probably just tasting the can or something but maybe alex jones was right all along /j edit: oh and i don't drink most sodas and this is one reason for it. just to clarify that im not drinking blood soda

[@existereOracIe]

maybe it has something to do with the metal cans?

[@darkninjafirefox]

I once drank a warm canned Pepsi and had a metallic aftertaste for the rest of the day. It just wouldn't wash out

[@Violivine]

My ex boyfriend used to make me watch gore videos with him and he loved it so much but it was extremely upsetting to me. He also had a gore fetish and he’d make me RP that stuff with him :( I’m glad I’m not with him anymore because my lord he gave me some trauma that I’ll probably never get rid of.

[@clover5668]

Oh my gosh. Im so sorry!

[@Violivine]

@@clover5668 it’s okay! We thankfully never interact anymore so I’m fine :)

[@natalie_the_ratalie]

he had a WHAT

[@HeheheheMeow]

I never hear anyone talk about self harm, much less as respectfully as you did! Thank you so much, I'm 2 weeks clean, love listening to your videos while I draw! 💖💖🙏🙏

[@bbydanii]

your words about self harm and ED are appreciated. im struggling with both. you worded my emotions beautifully. you’re truly amazing May. im so happy you’re here💓

[@vii9901]

may's opinion on emotional stagnation is literally saving my life right now i'm so relieved and grateful that i feel upon it in a fucking nsfl iceberg video..

[@estelshtein]

I really appreciate you talking about your self harm and starvation and su1c1dality (changed the spelling bc idk if I’ll get flagged) you put into words and helped me understand why i harmed myself and have helped me come to accept many things about myself. Thank you May, seriously.

[@FiniteAtticus]

“The lion is deadass taking a little sleepypoo,” is a brand new sentence that will never leave my brain now.

[@pavera_]

The same thing almost happened to me with the russian brick video, as I tried to watch the plagued moth video out of morbid curiosity (hoping for something much like YOUR work, which lovingly shields me from the horrors of the world while educating me), but I was lucky enough to be in control of my pause button as soon as I heard him say "I'm gonna show it to you!" Very sorry you had to endure that trauma unwillingly.

[@darkninjafirefox]

I was watching one of his videos where it just cut to footage of a mass sh**ting and it was not only incredibly upsetting but it killed any respect I had for him for leaving it in a video at all

[@Londonguy1987_]

I've just found your channel and I'm 1 hour 20 minutes into this video, but I just had to pause and say that I'm glad you're still here. You seem like a good person and you obviously work very hard on your content. Thank you.

[@just_going_mads]

1:11:20 You managed to put to words the feelings I've had regarding my own self harm for almost a decade, in such a beautiful way that it's unironically helped me. I'm not a person looking to stop self harming as it's a coping mechanism for me right now but you just armed me with the words I need to communicate that "need" to self harm to those who love and care for me. Thank you, genuinely. The fact that this revelation came to me from an NSFL iceberg really speaks to how you have a talent for giving these awful realities a way of not being ignored while also being real about what makes these things awful and dismantling those feelings when they need to be.

[@gretasmith1183]

I really appreciate your little soapbox on self harm and communicating negative feelings, it’s something I really needed to hear regarding the stuff i’m going through personally

[@euy68]

Thank you so much for sharing that May! It’s such a soothing feeling hearing someone actually talk about self harm in this way. No one ever does and it makes it such an alienating thing

[@sagemcmichael8320]

there've been offhanded references to berserk in a lot of your videos and i wanna hear a full nyx fears berserk analysis so bad

[@sailorchiaki]

Thank you so much for that discussion on self harm. I've struggled with it myself, and it's extremely difficult to talk about. Especially since people likely will notice, and when they bring it up, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. It's like something I don't want to share, because I'm afraid of being judged or someone telling me I'm doing it for attention. It's something private that I want to deal with on my own. It's really hard to describe, but I appreciate you discussing the importance of discussing it. Hopefully we can all take steps towards a place where we feel safer to talk about it and actually feel seen and understood.

[@torrinowens4376]

I've been in a state in between blooming and dooming. My heart says "hey, we only have one life, we could be taken out at any moment, live life to fullest, always do what you *want* to do," but my brain says "unfortunately we have to participate in capitalism and consumerism so actually we need to figure something out that isn't *really* fun but ultimately necessary." I am very much hoping that as I continue down the path I am currently on I will be able to find more enjoyment in "necessary" things because I want so badly to do things at my own pace, on my own time, that I enjoy, but I guess to get to that point I have to slog through more things I do not care to participate in.

[@Doughguts]

So glad I'm not the only one who was absolutely fucked up/destroyed by the Russian Brick. I'm new to your content, this is the first video I'm watching from you, but your understanding of limiting visual content to preserve like.. mental states is just really nice to me. Much nicer thank some other KZbinrs taking about disturbing content. Thank you, subscribing and liking

[@sillybilly5161]

I wanna say I really appreciate you addressing self-harm. A lot of people do avoid talking about it, and I haven't heard many, or really any, people talk about it other than short comments about it "being sad" and to "show people/ yourself compassion and give support". I don't think those are necessarily bad comments, its just no one ever talks about it in-depth and that is isolating. I haven't been in the best place, but you addressing self-harm really did make me feel a lot better and less alone in how I am feeling. You really put to words how I was feeling, and in that way, I understood myself more clearly. Anyway, you're very cool and I might just buy another copy of Fluids because I want to have both covers :3c

[@razzmothazz]

usually i hate when people go on about the same thing for so long but i really needed to hear that talk about self harm and taking care of yourself, it made me notice that when i actually spoke up about something that hurt me, i "got over it" way quicker. thank you for this, lots of love to you 💞💞 i think it was important for me to say this because you really are making a positive impact here. youre amazing 🥰

[@brandihoward7612]

Every video is a strange gift from this stunning gem☄️May's personality and approach to unsettling content exceeds KZbin standards. Love ya as always⚡✨

[@carrotsoffury]

I finally got the book here in Australia. It took longer than I expected and I honestly thought they had confiscated it at the border because our government has a habit of banning anything fun and gross. Watching this channel probably already has me on a list but it’s worth it.

[@GlobsterAGoGo]

RE: Self-harm: I've felt very exterior even in spaces with people who have self-harmed because I didn't ever do it the usual way. I punched the top of my head as hard as I could, hoping to give myself a concussion. It didn't leave any sort of scars, and I was thankfully never strong enough to hurt my brain, so all that was ever left were stinging bruises under my hair and the deep feeling of shame for having done it. Thank you for opening such an important dialogue with your experiences, May, and I'm so glad you're okay. We love you a bunch.

[@seattlecryptid]

I was exposed to a lot of NSFL in school, like from the educators themselves and not my fellow students. Fun times!

[@ciaran2693]

From Northern Ireland - we have so many car accidents that we get brutally reminded of that through car safety adverts. I nearly died from a speeding car as like a 7 year old in a playground 💀 Also you uploaded this just before the Queen's funeral lol

[@binkystink]

wait i just got to the self ham part of this and it feels like someone finally understands WHY. i still struggle with it, and hearing someone vocalize what i have never been able to put words to, wow

[@danesmith4461]

I really really appreciate what you said about self harm and suicide. Toxic positivity has always frustrated me and I have always felt a deep deep shame for the ways I've dealt with personal suffering. But moving beyond the whole "feeling bad about feeling bad" thing has so greatly improved my prospects in life. Embracing the very human experience of suffering and letting yourself be hurt without shame, and speaking openly about it has been the only way I have survived. I've never heard another person explain it like that until this video and it's incredibly validating to know I'm not alone in that approach to healing myself. Thanks for taking the time to elaborate on it.

[@capnlinnius]

im not sure why youtube put your videos into my autoplay but i really appreciate you talking about selfharm and sharing your thoughts and experiences. thank you.

[@sniffitsblog]

Just wanted you to know that every time one of your vids drop my friends and I all send it to each other. You have a whole group of girlies that treat each video like a movie premiere. Also my friend got me your book for my birthday. I plan on reading it after finishing my current one

[@Aleksander9813]

You are the only person from the US that I have ever seen acknowledging the School of the Americas and spreading the word about it's existence, while as an Argentinian it was a huge dark episode of the history books. Thank you.

[@sverbot]

I played the Jonestown audio for a religious studies presentation. I never thought about it when it would've mattered, but I probably traumatized a lot of my classmates with that whole presentation.

[@nonbinarysunset555]

honestly after spending a weed in a psych ward its weirdly comforting experience to see you upload as soon as im released. i think its just your bloomer pov in the face of all of this stuff but it felt like a safe return home. thank you so much. now i have this to finish while i also recover from covid. which i got as soon as i got home from the psych ward

[@1337karm]

I just started watching your videos, I think I might have watched a review of Midsommar you did a few years back, but I have a weird relationship with horror so I take long breaks. I don’t think you’re ever going to see this, and I don’t want to get all paradoxical and shit, but your talk on mental health and SH and all was life changing for me. You hit something nail on the head and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more empathetic approach to all that. You make the world a better place.

[@caatko1388]

0:52 I'm currently in a mental health facility throwing hands despair along with alcohol/drug abuse, bipolar, BPD, cPTSD, and ADHD. Lend me your strength queen 👑 1:11:23 I never thought of SH that way before. Any extreme emotion I feel, I lash out on myself to drain that feeling - like creating a physical wound redirects some of the emotional pain. It turns out when we break a blood vessel and the clotting process begins, serotonin (amongst other chemical signals) calls over molecules and cells that are involved in the process. I always morbidly smile to myself knowing that *that* factoid is the only part of my medical science degree I'm actually using, while I'm sat in my room dripping tears and blood. (I'm sorry, I'm a very sad little enby atm)

[@kwarra-an]

Good luck. You can do it!

[@caatko1388]

​@@kwarra-an thank you 🥺

[@FreshestBleach]

My partner and I tried to help in this motorcycle accident but the person was brain dead but body still alive while bleeding profusely and we kept trying and it haunts me and my partner. Real life is hard but you talking about how life isn't all that is really nice. Thanks May.

[@FreshestBleach]

Also, in Hannibal NBC, de-gloving happened :(((

[@deadgrlsuperstar]

May, I’ve been following you for years. I’ve always felt like I could relate to your little corner of the internet here. I’ve been watching this video over the past few days while cooking and cleaning and whatnot and I will have to say this is some of the most genuine and thought provoking conversation I’ve ever listened to. I am so proud of you and how much you have blossomed. thank you for existing. ❤️

[@daisychains8144]

May the way you describe these topics so matter of factly is really comforting. I am in a dark place where I want to consume lots of disturbing content, but probably shouldn't. With your videos I can consume the dark content without it fucking with my head for days. ❤ you so much for that

[@toyourliking]

i also have my own fun little alphabet soup of disorders (ocd, c-ptsd, bpd ii) and so my brain Love To Scream, and to project its own home-grown nsfl content into my consciousness. my old therapist was big into exposure and response prevention therapy, and she encouraged desensitizing myself through encouraging and sitting with those thoughts (urgh) and where possible looking at similar things online (uh oh!) safe to say things got worse, hence why she's my old therapist 😅 this was maybe 5 years ago and i'm somewhat better now, but the gross part of me still finds a catharsis in looking into that sort of shit 😵

[@incognito7767]

May, the portion on self harm resonated deeper than I could have ever expected from a list of NSFL, lmao. Self harm is something I actively struggle with, the worst of it culminating in a laceration needing 8 stitches. I really, really appreciate everything you said on this topic, and in doing this you’ve given voices to people who suffer with the same issues. Truly, thank you so much, and if you wish to make any further content on it in the future, just know that you’re doing a great service to all who suffer and continue to suffer. Couldn’t resist the urge to comment…great video as always.

[@lunavargas869]

That message about self harm was really strong, holy shit you have become my favourite person.

[@SigourneyWeaver666]

The Tim McLean murder happened very close to where I live. It’s a hot topic and I have the unpopular opinion that Vince Li should be free (to a point.) He had schizophrenia and was off his meds, after coming out of psychosis, he was horrified and devastated by his actions. As horrible of a crime it was, I have a lot of compassion for someone like Vince Li.

[@TheSim1derful]

Same. He was also a victim in that situation, even though he also killed someone. I can't imagine coming out of an episode and realizing what you'd done. I hope his life is stable and peaceful now.

[@mzthorn]

Glad you're doing better, May. Keep blooming.

[@elizabethburton2858]

you are just so cool and I love the nuance and delicacy you use to discuss disturbing content and ideas. as someone who is interested in this stuff, I really hate a lot of the prurient, voyeuristic content I see, but you give it the respect and dignity it deserves. keep up the great work