The Nutcracker: The Untold Story Review

[@ripleyandweeds1288]

You know when the Nostalgia Critic made a joke about this movie in his Care Bears Nutcracker review I didn't think it was an actual movie.

[@maskpenn9443]

Just imagining a tiny wooden nostalgia critic yelling at this movie just cracks me up!

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

If He Could See It

[@PlanetZoidstar]

That's just nutty!

[@TheBonkleFox]

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................................................. it'd probably be a billion 2-hour long skits first, but yeah i think really almost anyone would have uncontrollable rage fits.

[@DarknessIsTheTruth]

I think that's actually going to happen next week.

[@MissAelendil]

@@DarknessIsTheTruth I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY THAT BUT YOU BEAT ME TO IT

[@kacinema96]

12:37 Oh No! It's the Underminer from the end of The Incredibles!

[@bruceygoosey908]

Kasen Rogers Heh

[@otakon17]

Kasen Rogers same thought, drat you for beating me to it.

[@MrXemnas1992]

Honestly, I can't help but admire the sheer batshit insanity of this adaptation.

[@grainneorgracequinn2888]

MrXemnas1992 true

[@robbiewalker2831]

2:59 - 3:09: Why do people keep forgetting that NC is also NC-17, as in Not for Children?

[@djoshawott2850]

Robbie Walker Because barely anything has NC-17. Like the Adults Only rating in Video Games

[@TheBonkleFox]

oh you mean the rating this movie shoulda been given?

[@teedup8995]

@Sir Derpymister Haha ha! 😄

[@because-strudels]

The way that girl was dancing to Einstein's song was the cringiest thing I've seen in a while.

[@thema1998]

Her dancing was one of the cringiest things that I've *ever* seen!

[@chasehedges6775]

@@thema1998 Elle Fanning probably cracked during that scene.

[@alexjewett7455]

That was dancing? I thought she was having a seizure or something.

[@elsie8757]

The brother's dancing was pretty cringy too

[@inkystars19]

@@alexjewett7455 if she was having a seizure I think it would be way different

[@Masterge77]

This movie is probably the most pretentious adaptation of The Nutcracker I have ever seen. I mean seriously, Nazi Rats, are there Communist Bears as well? I can't see why not...

[@otakon17]

Masterge77 I'd watch a movie about communist bears.

[@joecrazy9896]

@@otakon17 Isn't that just Care Bears, but with more malnuritment?

[@נועהאלחלל]

I KIND OF LIKE THE IDEA OF NAZI RATS . BECOUSE NAZUES ARE EVIL LIKE THE RUTS

[@googamp32]

All I want for Christmas is my sanity. My sanity. My sanity...

[@mrinkertron8332]

Because when you think nutcracker you think Albert Einstein

[@GOFFBITZH666]

And nazis.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

And Nazi rats. "OF course! Don't you know anything about science??!?"

[@LikaLaruku]

Director: "When I think of Heir Drosselmeyer, I think of a white Don King who sounds like Albert Einstein."

[@joyunicycle]

Next thing you know Swan Lake is about the Cold War.

[@fargeeks]

I was thinking a white Don King

[@CartoonFan1994]

Nazis in a Christmas movie. Now I've seen everything.

[@HiperPivociarz]

I think there should be more christmas movies with nazis

[@otakon17]

CartoonFan1994 you did _nazi_ this coming I bet.

[@Lishadra]

CartoonFan1994 If it was a war movie that would be different.

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Unlike the truce in wwi

[@teogonzalez7957]

otakon17 oh Jew

[@ryancarson6962]

So plot synopsis. The young Mary is given a nutcracker who she imagines as her love interest(because a little girl imagining a wooden doll is her love interest isn't creepy at all!) must defeat the evil nazi rats who has jet packs and are capable of black magic from burning all the toys and enslaving the nutcrackers kingdom. Is it sad that we live in a age where insane shit like this isn't even surprising anymore?

[@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty]

Girls tend to imagine the men/women they'd like to be with when they're older based on things around them or presented to them, sooo ig don't have a daughter if you find little girls enjoying romances disturbing..?

[@peter_pansexual6243]

Well in the ballet it's implied that everything really happened and her new neighbor is just the nutcracker turned human.

[@yourtimetraveleralara]

Yea

[@bruceygoosey908]

Next episode: The Care Bears, Adventures in Auschwitz

[@asdatescosains700]

Time for a game of gas-I mean "dissapearing" bears!

[@ruyekahatori3073]

Even Captain Planet made that realization "I dont understand how so much hate can come from one person"-

[@devinsweeting4978]

@@ruyekahatori3073 Well when you're watching this abomination.

[@peter_pansexual6243]

There is a anime version of 'The Diary of Anna Frank'

[@sophieplace28]

You should watch Barbie and the nutcracker, at least that version is watchable this is just painful.

[@spank9898]

Sophie Place I also remember that movie being fine as a kid

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Sophie Place I think after seeing The Nutcracker: The Untold Story in 3D... I could go for the Barbie version... Heck, not even The Nuttiest Nutcracker was this bad!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Kieran Stark Then nothing is stopping you from watching Friendship is Magic. Though I hear Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse is a pretty good self satire on the Barbie Franchise.

[@SgtScorpious]

i think he did actually, via review

[@axelfirekirby]

Sophie Place I have to admit that's my favorite version of the nutcracker

[@keegster7167]

When I heard NC, that's exactly what I thought! I thought you were going to say, 'He's turned Nostalgia Critic into a wooden figurine!' or something. I LOL'd anyway.

[@gokusondbz]

A Few Year's Later Nostalgic Critic Reviewed It lol.

[@MovieFan1912]

@@gokusondbz With a tribute to his late mother at the end.

[@FieldTestedSemenKun]

The rats... The rats... We're the rats... We hunt at night we stalk at night, We're the rats

[@keegster7167]

I looked that up and saw the strangest animation/song.

[@FieldTestedSemenKun]

King Keegster That's the one!

[@nukiradio]

I'm da giant rat dat breaks all of da rules! "Let's see what kinda trouble we can get into"

[@TheBonkleFox]

ah yes, the rat movie. god knows what sheer brilliance went into creating such an intricate masterpiece of cinema.

[@DeadlyAlienInvader]

At first, I thought this was a reference to Hey Arnold.

[@jordanthejq12]

"That Man's Name? Albert Einstein. : The Movie."

[@goufr3540]

After seeing this, one wonders how Good Times, Golden Films or Dingo they would do The Nutcracker. Damn, now I want Albert Einstein played by Old Man and for some reason it could actually make more sense.

[@theponydalek7923]

The fabric of space time is all wet. It's completely useless now.

[@TheBonkleFox]

old man sells beauty to the rat king.

[@autobotstarscream765]

HEEE-EEEE = mc2!

[@puppymaroon964]

Good Times did an adaptation of The Nutcracker or at least distributed it. I would like for someone to review that movie.

[@yourtimetraveleralara]

Get mondo TV here they made legend of the Titanic

[@wespapes2054]

What is this flick on? Drugs. All the drugs.

[@rocksnrolls]

That is an understatement

[@JokerFan-hj4iv]

The reason the burning toys are so screwed up is because they clearly established all toys are alive. So if you see toys as people the death count in this movie is probably in the millions!

[@sarahmcmann5253]

No reason it's called the untold story it should stay that way

[@parker-boy98]

The Nutcracker doesn't even look like a comic relief character, he looks more like a horror monster!

[@allisonelizabeth6596]

From a Christmas horror movie

[@teedup8995]

The thing you lock in the closet fearing it's going to try to kill you while you're sleeping!

[@Treeeee2008]

He would be a good horror movie villain, an evil nutcracker doll that makes people die of cringe.

[@MsDjessa]

This and Phelous' Cricket on the Hearth review are going in my watch again at Christmas list.

[@Jarod-sm5rf]

“Imagination is more important then knowledge” I’m gonna use that quote for the rest of my life.

[@somegingerguy4242]

1. I'm SO sorry for requesting you do this movie 2. I laughed way to hard at the break dancing joke 3. How the hell does one keep ALL OF THESE IDEAS in their head for 20 YEARS and not one think "This may be stupid"? (No seriously, the director wanted to make this for 20 years)

[@TheBonkleFox]

Because spontaneous combustion

[@dorothyallspice1862]

"Sabotage??" "In MY Kingdom??" It's more likely than you think.

[@amii-stuff]

OOOOOH HECK YES!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU'VE REVIEWED THIS MOVIE!! ... ooooh boi i just renembered i still have this movie on dvd.

[@otakon17]

Amii Ovii you poor, poor person.

[@jenniferschillig3768]

One of this movie's many, MANY flaws is that the magical kingdom the Nutcracker Prince rules didn't look any different from 1920s Europe whatsoever even BEFORE the rats showed up. Say what you want about The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, but at least it made its fairy-tale kingdom look magical and fantastical. And I know they wanted to emphasize the Nazi allegory, but what was the POINT of said allegory? As Diva from Musical Hell put it, it would have been one thing if there had been hints of the real-life Nazi incursion and Mary's dream world was helping her make sense of it, but we get a charming and magical real world and a dark, gritty fantasy world...when in stories like these, it's usually the other way around.

[@Sokolva]

I agree with your problem about toys being the worst thing that is being burned, but since the logic in this universe is that all toys are alive, and we are shown throughout the whole film that all the dolls come to live and have sentience, I think that the implication here is that he is burning sentient, intelligent beings, but saying "toys" makes it seem not as bad for a children's film. The confusing thing about this is that at the beginning they state that all toys or dolls are alive, and yet you see piles of toys that seem like normal kids toys while others and intelligent and alive. There isn't a lot of consistency there and this makes the entire intent uncear. Even the nutcracker himself goes from alive to human to still and lifeless, so is it just that all toys do this? In any case, messing with a subject matter as serious and real as Nazi Germany and trying to make it child friendly can have a lot of problems in general.

[@blondbraid7986]

While I think the crimes committed by Nazis shouldn't be trivialized, I think the burning of toys could have had potential as a frightening allegory if done right. Partially because some of the toys are shown to be living and feeling beings, but the large pile of toys out in the square in 26:34 also create imagery reminiscent of the Nazi book burnings. Symbolism and allegories can be very powerful if done right, and while this movie falls short I believe that more talented filmmakers could make the concept work.

[@Bobsheaux]

I'm embarrassed by how many people are pointing out to me "But wait! The toys are alive, so this actually IS really horrible!" We've got so much other bullcrap happening int his movie that I COMPLETELY forgot about toys (or at least dolls) being alive. >.

[@blondbraid7986]

Someone pointed out that that Pan's Labyrinth also deals with fascism seen from a child's perspective, and has a lot of fantasy too, but there it works because there are actually some consistency in the world rules. I'd also use the video game Alice: Madness returns as a great example of fantasy metaphors, because it uses a world of dollhouses and broken dolls as a metafor for child abuse, the dollhouse level actually has a lot of similar imagery as The Nutcracker: The Untold Story, but there it actually works.

[@autobotstarscream765]

@@Bobsheaux So basically, the kid-friendly Nazi symbolism that drives the movie (into a ditch imho) is irrelevant because the movie is just _so damn bad_ that it drowns out any idiotic "message" it was failing to present?

[@autobotstarscream765]

@@blondbraid7986 It's like the driving idea behind the ignition of this trash fire was done before and better, meaning this drug trip for the whole family had no reason to ever exist in a world already _flooded_ with Nutcracker crap.

[@blaa6]

This is almost Son of the Mask levels of "What the Fuck were you thinking?"

[@revanstar85]

blaa6 no this completely surpasses Son of the Mask levels of insanity at least with Son of the Mask a person can get high and think it's just a bad cartoon this you get high and you think the devil is after you

[@sixrabbits3972]

So many things with the rats bother me... "Bat Rat"... the German word for bat is fledermaus, literally "flying mouse". While rats and mice are actually very different, it would have worked so much better than Bat Rat. Ugh... Why do so many adaptations remove the Rat King's extra heads? A rat king is multiple rats stuck together (apparently this used to happen often enough for there to be multiple accounts of it) and thus the story gives us a three headed rat. At least give him two advisers who stick close to him and interject all the time like they are thinking the same thoughts as him. Something! My last issue is nitpicky. I am a rat owner, and I would have loved to see Rat King huff like a rat when he was angry. Rat screaming, gods that can be terrifying. Rat King bruxing because he is so proud of himself (no one needs to see him boggle, that would be weird and not actually possible with a human face anyways). Just that snarl thing is... just there to be creepy! He snarls like a dog, because no one in the entire production had ever spent any time around rats. That could just be me being a stick in the mud, but it seems to reveal such a lack of thought to this movie, as if they never went further than "let's make the Nutcracker about Nazi Germany!"

[@torytellstales]

Plus it was never a rat king, it was a mouse. And rats are adorable lol

[@MalakiaLaGattaNera]

I firmly believe that the only way to get a decent nutcracker movie would be to dissociate it from the ballet and just stick to the book like the animated Nutcracker Prince released in 1990 did. To this day, it is my favorite adaptation of the story despite its flaws.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

Totally agree, fake Pinocchio Nutcracker is a terrible design. What's wrong with the traditional big-toothed hussar? He is a nutcracker, he should have a large jaw and teeth.

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

Aren't the toys kinda alive people in this movie? (At least some of them) So the rat king sort of is doing something atrocious and war-crimey... Yeah. What is this movie?!

[@keegster7167]

Yeah, toys burning is pretty bad if they're alive. It's the same as burning piles of people alive.

[@T5ComixCartoonz]

Yeah, but the movie doesn't really present that very well. If they were going to go with that idea then the toys should have all been sentient and aware like NC before being sent off to be burned. True that would be horribly graphic, but that's the price you pay, by drawing such heavy parallels to the Nazis.

[@alexisdominey6487]

9:27 Speaking of Jack Skelilington and eyeballs. Disney had wanted him to have eyeballs to appear friendlier, thank God Tim Burton said no.

[@kenthuang436]

Moaning Myrtle could have *really* made Olive Hornby’s life a true living hell if she had just possessed the nutcracker and mailed herself to her bully.

[@hurricanefury439]

that is now canonically what happened and you can't tell me otherwise

[@hypno-scream5652]

Also, the whole toy-burning thing actually is evil because this is a world where toys are ALIVE. That doesn't make it any less repugnant.

[@mintstarmari]

Real life horrors in adaptations and fantasy movies can be done right. The WWII opening in Narnia is an example and it’s actually catalyst with an actual purpose. The nazi rats just came out of nowhere and this overall concept was horribly executed. And Albert Einstein as the uncle doesn’t fit. He was Jewish.

[@piglin469]

I can fix it maybe have a radio talk about the NAZIS and then some people talking about it and alber and the father talk about it and then boom austria conquered by nazis then we start to magic bull shit

[@jojothebard6687]

Hey, Bobsheaux... ...You're my fairy godmother.

[@Bobsheaux]

-_- *SMACK!* lol

[@darthsombra2102]

@Bobsheaux You are my hot Ferrari

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

The Bard Ewwwwww...

[@henryisthere]

@@darthsombra2102 Birdemic 😂

[@spacemandavid_2122]

I thought the nutcracker was supposed to be Russian? Although to be fair, if it was in 1920's we would have communists to replace the nazis.

[@anyanP]

Originaly Nutcracker was a german fairy tale. So both original tale and original ballet was set in germany. Some later russian productions changed set to Russia because of obvious political reasons (Russia/USSR fought against Germany in both World Wars)

[@spacemandavid_2122]

anyanP (ex AlphaP) oh thx for the clarification.

[@quintinbrakebill8875]

Bobsheaux: The nutcracker looks like Pinocchio from Shrek Me: That's exactly what I thought!!

[@Imajicka1]

Forget Elle Fanning's dancing, WTH is Max doing at 4:52??

[@Treeeee2008]

Why is dude smacking his butt that's low-key sus

[@reanahardman266]

Also NC looks like the puppets from Lord Farquards puppet thing that donkey liked to play in shrek remember that people duloc is duloc is duloc is a perfect place

[@PlanetZoidstar]

"Magical Pikachu Tears" Better than Magic Moonbeam Tears.

[@JaredGriffiths2000]

Frances de la Tour was also in a very funny British sitcom called Rising Damp.

[@daveyboy2315]

12:54 that guy was determined so much he punched those Nazi rats

[@kimaniwilsonhunte]

My mother and I actually saw this movie IN A THEATER (and IN 3D!!!!) way back in November of 2010. That had to be one of the most regrettable and traumatizing movie-going experiences when ever had. But I humbly thank you Bobsheaux for giving this garbage the ripping apart it truly deserves!!! :)

[@andrewollmann304]

26:56 Bob, the burning of the toys is supposed to be a book-burning analogy. The rats want to destroy innocence and joy just like the Nazis wanted to suppress the flow of ideas.

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

I hope they don't burn children's books 📚 😒 👶

[@autobotstarscream765]

Also, the toys are people, so it's literally the Toy Holocaust.

[@MovieFan1912]

Yeah, that allegory had the subtlety of a black glitter cannon to the face.

[@BugsyFoga]

The movie is way too bizarre for it's own good.

[@geekoborabora]

This is just me, but I think the "bring them back to life with tear of true sorrow" is waaaay worse than with "true loves kiss" ... granted here it'd be squicky as all get out, but I find the idea that sorrow can fix problems and reach beyond the veil to restore life a FAR more troubling message than love doing the same thing.

[@MrSirya88]

18:21 I must remind you that all the toys are alive

[@nuclear_mech_wizard]

25:48 Bobsheaux: "HOW DID I GET HERE???" JackSepticEye: "Do you have 90 minutes?"

[@alexjewett7455]

4:38 this like a *toddler's* interpretation of the theory of relativity.

[@FletcherReedsRandomness]

If this movie existed in Dante’s time, he would’ve encountered it in a TENTH circle of Hell.

[@alexisdominey6487]

In an animated Nutcracker movie I saw, after Clara fell she woke up in her bed the next morning her family came in and told her they found her passed out by the tree and she had hit her head, so it brings the question was it all a dream or not. This movie couldn’t have went that rout, maybe have her question herself? Also in Barbie in the Nutcracker the Mouse King has a bat minion.

[@misterwheatley1386]

So THIS is the Nutcracker Nostalgia critic was talking about

[@strange_0ne535]

Wait a second. If toys are alive in this universe they is burning toys in a smoke factory any less terrifying?

[@gamerhero9559]

24:11 "A Family Picture..."

[@98953812]

Game Hero95 That's gonna haunt the shit out of me! XD

[@AlexAceves1994]

A Psycho Picture!

[@ironnoah9461]

FROM HELL

[@drummerboi357]

12:36 i ammmm the undermineeeeeeeer

[@Bobsheaux]

Ugh... I should've thought of that... lol

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

Pretty sure it was MC... As in E=mc² *_cringes_*

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

Oh.... It *is* NC.... Why?! They could've made a cringey "joke". NC is just stupid.

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

This movie is just stupid.

[@alexjewett7455]

29:35 NC: um.. thanks for saving me and all, but... *I'm still missing a leg!!*

[@ScratStitch]

I'll defend Elle Fanning: she's a terrific actress, and amazingly good in Super 8. But this movie is HORRENDOUS. I've never returned to it since watching in 2011. The worst Christmas movie I've ever seen.

[@dragon7493]

"Remember what Dr. Freud said about child psychology?" Must be a Bobsheaux!

[@klimmr]

15:40 I always thought it would be stuck in abominations like Monkeybone.

[@williampj3573]

So I think Albert Einstein’s actor Was the same Voice actor as Timon from the lion king did he ever fired his agent

[@DiegoHernandez-xt2su]

Deadpool: hey uhh john turturro it's wade wilson a.k.a Deadpool may i ask you something? You know that painfully and crappy nutcracker movie you were in? Explain to me why would a rat king just had to kill his pet shark for no fucking reason?

[@ToaAxiomMan]

To best describe this movie it's like making a Christmas Carol set in either Franco Spain or Mussolini Italy or even Soviet Russia

[@GiulerPowerGamer]

I not gona lie... This one scene was damn scary.... 24:08

[@troin3925]

GiulerPowerGamer No _fucking_ kidding! If this movie was around when I was a kid and I saw it, that face would've made me cry. Stephen Gammell's artwork for Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark and the faces of Wolf and Jumping Spiders were more pleasant to look at than _that!_ And this was supposed to be a kids film!? It's because of crappy movies and scenes like _that_ that we can't have good dark kids films or any in general like Return To Oz or Coraline anymore. I'm surprised that the latter was even made at all considering it came out in 2009. Why is it that I always find the scariest things in non-horror films!?

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Die Nazi Rat! *Shoots Him With Gun

[@torytellstales]

The nutcracker was honestly the cringiest thing in this movie for me. When he's wooden he has a different voice, acts completely cartoony, is loud, and has a load of confidence towards the main character, even saying "you're very pretty" When he's a real boy he has a normal boy voice, and acts sincere and solemn??? The problem here is the nutcracker acts like two completely different characters when he's in two different forms, which makes no sense because the nutcracker never had a "split personality" complexity to his character. Hes either a nutcracker that takes on the form of a man/boy due to the girl's love for him or is a prince that was cursed into the form of a nutcracker, but he still acts like the same person. His personality never changes in the story, just his physical form. The story for this movie wouldve made more sense if the nutcracker only could change into a real boy whenever he interacted with the girl but couldnt remain in his form without her, that being what the curse is. The other toys can come to life while he unfortunately can't without the aid of the girl believing in him. That wouldve definitely saved a lot of time with the creepy CGI used for this character Another thing I REALLY couldn't stand was they made the main girl character Mary a literal "Mary Sue", she has this attitude throughout the whole movie like she can do no wrong. The way she talks to her brother, they way she says "I guess girls DO know military strategy." And omg this boils my blood, the way she says "I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!" to the Rat King. Girl, no one, literally NO ONE said you didn't know military strategy. And wth is telling the Rat King you're not afraid of him going to do? He's still going to terrorize you and bite your fricken fingers off.

[@danieldb631]

Two South Park references in one review. Part of me wonders what would happen if you included a third. Would it summon Michael Keaton with a pop-top head?

[@DreamDancer82]

I have seen several versions of the Nutcracker in my life. My favorite is a Mickey Mouse rendition that they showed on the Disney Channel once or twice (it was a live action park stage show that they televised). This is probably the strangest I have ever encountered (can't say seen, because I haven't seen it). I agree with you about the rats, though. If they used CGI to make the nutcracker's creepy design, why didn't they just use CGI rats? These "rats" don't even LOOK like rats! At least in the Mickey Mouse version, they were dressed as rats! And why didn't the boy playing the prince voice his nutcracker form? Because logic is a foreign concept to everyone these days.

[@kylecrofts3481]

Happy Christmas in July Bobsheaux!

[@troin3925]

It's because of crappy films like this that people are too paranoid to make dark kids films anymore. The last good one we got was Coraline and _that_ came out in 2009. I'm surprised it was even made _at all!_ I've always wanted to become a filmmaker, and while I mostly want to make surreal horror films inspired by the likes of David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick and Alan Resnick, and I wanted to put some variety into it. One of the biggest ones I've wanted to do was adapt every Goosebumps book into dark horror films for kids. Goosebumps is my favorite guilty pleasure of all time, and since everything today is trying to be dark and gritty, Goosebumps deserves it probably the most out of all of them considering it's supposed to be a horror series. Not every film would be dark, depending on the story, it would have a different tone: Monster Blood would be a fun creature feature, Attack of the Jack-O-Lanterns would be a straight up comedy, Deep Trouble 1 and 2 will be adventure films along the lines of Indiana Jones and the Brendan Fraser Mummy trilogy. I'll also fix some of the worst stories (I'll edit this later).

[@tristanpetty7173]

Troin Hmm. Kubo is kind of dark.

[@troin3925]

Tristan Petty I have more to say. I'll edit my comment later.

[@blondbraid7986]

Pretty much all movies by studio Laika are kind of dark. ParaNorman and the Boxtrolls are also good movies by the same creators, both of them deals with themes of loss, bullying and fear of outsiders, and ParaNorman even brought up and dealt with the Salem Witch trials.

[@spectre9792]

um… compared to THIS, I'll take either that 90s animated version or the one with Macaulay Culkin.

[@moviemaniac2159]

I like that you used the "Nutcracker Suite" segment from "Fantasia" for the end credits.

[@nathanielrincon7907]

Did... did I miss the "take drugs now" message at the start of the film? What the F*ck am I lookin' at?

[@DarknessIsTheTruth]

30:05 Sounds a lot like The Last Airbender movie

[@michelefish3378]

if anyone has seen Film Brain's review, this movie is a rare case where the making of the Nutcracker 3d is more interesting than the actual film.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I see Turturro FINALLY starred in something worse than Revenge of the Fallen...

[@LaughingLimbo]

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS BOBSHEAUX ♥️😃

[@kevin4061]

Laughing Discord you mean "I SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST YOU BOBSHEAUX" XD

[@joyunicycle]

He's the NutCracker. He remembers it and freaks you out too!

[@gwendolynwestwind9764]

I remember another live action adaptation of The Nutcracker, I watched it in probably the late 90s but I don't know when it was made. The only things I remember from it are that when Marie gets attacked by the rats she throws a blanket on them that they chew through, and at the end she wakes up and thinks it was a dream, except that the uncle character is sitting near her, sewing up the holes in the blanket. I literally cannot remember any other details. Does it ring bells for anyone else?

[@autobotstarscream765]

Sounds like the uncle took care of the rats.

[@riptobias]

22:20 No, that's not what Einstein actually said. He said: "For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." Though, misquoting one of the worlds greatest minds ever, is the least of this adaptation's problems. At least they called the female lead Mary/Marie like in the original story, unlike - for some reason - the blasted ballet. Also: Did Max smack his own rear during the relativity-song? Combined with Mary's "sexy" dance, that's an... interesting choice o.O

[@moviemusiccompany5696]

i have that on dvd, its still here and i love it

[@danthefan28]

14:57 seems more like something the Joker would do.

[@Bobsheaux]

"I'm gonna make this walnut... disappear. TA-DA!! It's... ahhh, it's gone..." ;)

[@johnnyd3158]

I wonder which films from the past decade John Turturro regrets being in the most, the Transformers films or this film?

[@otakon17]

Johnell Diaz Transformers by far if only because EVERYONE has scene them despite them being shite.

[@mrcritical6751]

Monkeybone

[@devanhinskey9001]

24:11-24:13 I might be the only one to say this but while the image here is terrifying, what ruins it for me is John Turturro going “Raaawwwrrr”. It sounds hilariously silly to me! Now if a more horrifying sound was attached to that visual, THEN I would wet myself and crap my pants at the same time!

[@joshuabenson6543]

That Nutcracker is going to HAUNT my nightmares! Those rats are going to make me SHIT BRICKS for weeks!! And the Nazi imagery makes me ask “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE NUTCRACKER!?!” Oh, and Merry Christmas, or whatever. But GOOD LORD is this movie terrifying!!

[@Sandlot1992]

8:35 is that the Griswald Family christmas tree?

[@Lishadra]

Waaaaait a minute. Is that snowy window in your background from The Rapsittie Street Christmas Special??

[@cxmb]

NC? As in Nostalgia Critic?

[@carbootstudios2459]

Timon's German cousin.

[@nickcopeland6915]

The director of this movie, Andrei Konchalovsky, said this was his passion project. He dreamed of making it for over 20 years. And he said ballet doesn't adapt well to screen.

[@angah82]

Ugh, the utter _arrogance_ of that last statement (by the director, of course). I'm so glad that this movie flopped, both critically and financially.

[@nickcopeland6915]

@@angah82 Oh, it flopped alright. This movie cost $90 million and it didn't make a third of that money back.

[@quinnzykir]

I can’t wait for the sequel; The Nutcracker and the Seizing the Means of Production.

[@NotHome888]

13:32 More like Andy Warhol and the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

[@kittykat123425]

At this point, I’m convinced that it’s a rite of passage for KZbin critics to review the Nazi Nutcracker movie

[@username-mk4qv]

That line about girls being and to do military strategies was so unnecessary. Why can't we treat strong intelligent girls as a NORMAL thing, and not broadcast whenever they do something strong or intelligent? Also, I have to disagree with you about Max needing to give his sister a special toy. I actually think it's better for people to be able to empathize with others without having to have a personal connection to something. Destroying other kids' toys is wrong, and he doesn't need to see his own sister's toy get destroyed to realize that. Just my opinion.

[@kittycatmeowmeow963]

Wait a tic, why would Einstein and his family be celebrating Christmas if they were Jewish?🤨

[@shitpost9237]

Jesus. I remember watching this movie with my family. I was legit the only one who fucking hated everything.

[@troin3925]

Shitpost HOW!? Especially considering the Rat King's fucked up snarling face later in the movie, I would expect a kid to cry, or at the very least, look fucking away! Also, ALL THE NAZI ALLEGORIES!

[@Treeeee2008]

@@troin3925 bro my dad gave me a DVD of this movie and I already knew how bad it was so I made him take it back to the store

[@troin3925]

@@Treeeee2008 I never bought this movie. I only found out about it through word of mouth and other reviews.

[@gothnerd887]

13:23 yes but let us not forget that toys are alive and sentient in this world

[@ryancarson6962]

32:14 Dammit Bob don't you know that saying Tentilcolino did something right will destroy the cosmic order of the universe! You fool you doomed us all!😱

[@98953812]

Ryan Carson kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaGplYNrrqaHrZI