THE ONE QUALITY A NARCISSIST CAN'T ACCEPT

[@dragan4658]

Sadly narcissists have temper tantrums whenever someone else has a different opinion.

[@endswithme555]

Dragan facts!💯💯 there is no agreeing to disagree. I did that once to a narc and he raised the temperature of our argument instantaneously. Got in my face, called me names. If there wasn’t someone in the office with us guaranteed he would’ve hit me. He’s punched a hole in the wall before during our arguments so with no one around wouldn’t put it past him

[@kellyanderson7624]

YEP!

[@UnknownUnknown-yl1lt]

So TRUE!! Smh

[@reikocool1]

Agreed. They even get wanting to hit you if you 'get too smart w_ them as well...

[@somyan8540]

That means that you two should never meet let alone have a conversation with If you'd met a narcisst you hit in to someone you did not want to hit You should appologise and go your own way, maybe. You need to find out where you can live. Because in some areas you might not be able to fly and florish because of the narcissts around

[@addiomondo4493]

When they can’t manipulate you they start manipulating the others against you

[@lizquinn3568]

Yeh when your done with them they call on the flying monkeys 😒

[@johnnyflorence219]

It all comed put in the wash though. The truth will always come out.

[@jramirez2956]

That’s what happened to me. Now my two best friends “replaced” me for this person, but they did me a favor.

[@williamofockham5042]

So true. I was involved with a perpetual victim. My role was to be her rescuer. She managed to pit me against several people in her circle before I figured her out. When I refused to play the role of rescuer/defender, I became the villain in her manufactured dramas..

[@reikocool1]

@@lizquinn3568 Yes..The ones who are unquestioning to their artificial construct of reality.

[@ApricotData474]

Narcissists do not like when you have high self confidence and can say no and stand your ground. This will cause fights, gaslighting and possibly triangulation.

[@sublimesamoyed]

Adam Oliva, Yes. Very astute observation.

[@epicmercury333]

Just dare to say something confident or a little cocky and the narcissist will fly into a frenzy.

[@xdeadwrongxdeadwrong7181]

@@epicmercury333 yes especially the word " no" 😂🤣

[@goddessreads6909]

I agree your achievements are there bragging rights as well

[@um_from_umbridge7285]

Agreed. Mine busted my face open for saying "i dont like the way youre talking to me RN" best staying quiet and leaving secretly

[@arlenepayne309]

A narcissist will never accept any other point of view but theirs. There's no getting through to them.

[@dub1951]

AGREE 100%

[@heliaalves9062]

So true!

[@davidjose9808]

My 95-year old father....a life-long manipulating narcissist, very high IQ...plays his step children (married four times, none are through him) against his four original biological children. The stepchildren....dentist, CPA and lawyer...are ALL more accomplished than his own “salesman” son and homemaker daughters. When does it ever stop? At least he doesn’t beat us and our poor mother in drunken rages anymore. Lots of damage and baggage from a narcissistic father as we children approach and pass 70 years old.

[@cookingmoon]

So true!

[@MrIMBECILE1]

Absolutely correct; don't waste your time

[@texaspatriot2841]

I was married to a narcissist for 29 years. At about Year 24, whenever he would “suggest” that I do something, I started saying 5 little words -- That doesn’t work for me.” All it took was a few years of this, and we were in divorce court. Yes, my mother was a narcissist so his actions were very familiar but they just didn’t work for me after awhile. Freedom is pretty nice. 🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@logicalthoughtchannel8928]

That wasn't a narcissist. He would've been gone a decade ago

[@beckyenglish4783]

Wide Awake that’s so wonderful - I’m at 19 years marriage, and am now on plan to leave (1, get a job; 2, reconnect with my family; 3, hire a storage facility...) We can never get our youths back, but I now keep an eye out for youngsters I work with - few listen to mum and dad, but an older friend can have influence.

[@arbonneladyTN]

Rebecca Well said!

[@Nobody92421]

No shit? I will totally use that! Thanks!!!! (Oh, and 24 years into it for me as well... : ( sux....

[@ellenprice3081]

24 years and I left it just didn't work for me. I love it!! I'm stealing this thank you.

[@MsKelmiller]

Maya Angelou once said, "When someone shows you who they are.....believe them."

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Real good way of putting it. Dr. C

[@ydasda4210]

Yes!!

[@Dd-po2ij]

Yez.

[@lisadean619]

Yes. I am tired of some people stealing my ideas, intellectual property, even my persona to attempt to do damage control for the horrible things and personal images they have cultivated over the years. Stop stealing my writing style, playlists, and recipes to pay back favors or debts. My ideas, my money, belong to me and nobody else.

[@deborahetheridge5105]

Actually Ms. Maya said "believe them the first time" That's what many of us failed to do.

[@sofie8072]

Narcissist manipulates you if they want to ask a favour from you they are very nice and kind, once the favour is done. They will treat you nasty. They are the ultimate user.

[@arxsyn]

sofie yep that's my mother. I have learned to say no and not be guilty and stand firm

[@74Spirit1]

They want things without strings, but THEY will put strings on you.

[@heliaalves9062]

@@74Spirit1 I couldn't say it better myself. It's so true it hurts.

[@richardlandis793]

sofie Big Time

[@sundaysundaym]

Sofie Before I went to work he raged cussed degraded tore up house left door wide open while I was upstairs unaware. While at work, called me and " apologized". Asked to come pick me up from work. I accepted. As we driving home he tells me he pawned my 55 in TV. I'm sooooo done. Manipulation at it's best

[@drlynmar]

If you stand up to them, they go into their rage. Very dangerous.

[@jenniferconroy4517]

Please beware , you don't know what they are capable of ..

[@irish327rose5]

@@jenniferconroy4517not standing up for yourself is the wrong move: if you feel you may be in danger, leave the rat to its own droppinga

[@danielbright3340]

don't I know it

[@amandahood7809]

My narc ex could get very scary when I stood up for myself.

[@irish327rose5]

@@amandahood7809 i noticed you're using the past tense. I whipped a 1-quart pot at mine, did you turn Mother-Bear too? ☺ lol where I come from people mind the single mothers 😂😂😂

[@midnightchannel111]

The one thing they can't accept? Your independence...

[@LonjeMarie7]

midnightchannel EXACTLY

[@alemartinez4917]

Why is that

[@1050545]

Absolutely indeed I'm independent of my will, my rights, my thoughts, etc etc.

[@Hazelcatkins]

@Mary Brown please contact a women's refuge for advice and support. They can help you.

[@anjanaminj1953]

Very true

[@alanayazyam2432]

A normal person says: you cannot be the center of my life The narc says: you cannot be the center of your own life

[@devotchkac8365]

Yess! So true! They want to be the center of your life instead of yourself 😑

[@MysticGwen]

"Surrender the ego ... to the wizard of Oz" 🤫🖖🤫#enjoymars #wakeup #noshadowsjustsmokeandmirrorsnotscience

[@devotchkac8365]

@@MysticGwen not quite sure what you mean..curious, is there a hint of sarcasm in #enjoymars? If so, I agree :)

[@m.asammy3049]

Fantastic take on Ns. On the money!

[@overseaoversea6602]

Perfect in a nutshell !

[@crissiesummerlin386]

Narcissist sometimes don’t come right out and say your worthless but they let you know in their own way.

[@user-el3lm4hf2t]

Crissie Summerlin mine flat out said I’m useless to her because i cant help her solve her problem (paying 3 late mortgage payments) and then said she has 7 guys that want her and i always argue as I’m listening to her argue about arguing lol ! It’s the stupidest response I’ve ever heard lmfao

[@moonchild66]

Yeah they defo do x

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My narc dad ignores my boundaries: I have since blocked him on my phone and out of my life. A huge improvement!

[@johnnyveganite9141]

@@jackilynpyzocha662 i grew up with 2 narc parents, one violent physically and mentally and one just mentally, my nan brought me up the most but i think she may have been covert narc, a family of narcs how unlucky !

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

My dad talks at me, not with me, he is irritating, as if I don't exist. I'm done with his crap! No-contact preserves my "right to be free". I don't have to cater to his narcissism!

[@elsea8901]

They like to be both victim and hero...admire me AND feel sorry for me...like Superman on crutches...once you see it, you realize how pathetic it is...and how you don’t need them at all...for anything

[@ChamStar625]

Thank you!

[@treaty8631]

Well said

[@samcad-ho3ze]

I’m desperate to get to this point but I still can’t imagine my life without him I think I would want to die without him.

[@nancystark6693]

Yup!! 💯✌

[@nancystark6693]

Yup!! 💯✌

[@lynettedundon1410]

Another quality that a narcissist doesn't have.....humility.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

correct. Dr. C

[@clairemcdaniel1253]

They desperately need to feel superior to everyone else. One of my bosses is obsessed with the royal family and thinks she should be a literal Princess.

[@snoutysnouterson]

All women must be narcissists then.

[@clairemcdaniel1253]

@@snoutysnouterson I'm sorry if all the women you've met need to feel superior. We aren't all like that.

[@snoutysnouterson]

@@clairemcdaniel1253 Will you marry me? Kidding :) Thanks for your comment I can see you are a rarity. It gives me hope that there are more people like you. :) Ps I can tell you are nice by not being horrible in your reply. You are a high calibre person :)

[@dianeconti7602]

Besides resenting personal independence they hate when you are happy, successful and satisfied - without them.

[@Dd-po2ij]

Yez TRUTH.

[@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577]

I always felt my boyfriend detested the fact that I am very independent. When he found out I was better off financially then he was I felt jealousy and at times he seemed depress. He tried to put me down so many times, at times I felt he accomplished it because my selfesteem became really low. Now that I am in a new relationship I feel so good about myself again. My boyfriend is not competitive and he feels so proud of my accomplishments. I am so happy.

[@chrizihart3016]

This is my ex all day. When we were married we agreed he would go to college first. Well he did and failed all his classes. Year's later after I divorced him I went to college. He's tried his best thru the year's to discourage me from going. We have 3 kid's together so I still have to deal with him. On the bad days I come to watch video's like this to regain my truth. I'm free from him forever and he can't affect my life like he used to.

[@shannonprice5187]

Yes absolutely right!!!!

[@flowersfromh-evanlakshmi7577]

Update since my last reply 2 months ago: I got engaged with my new boyfriend. He has been so supportive and loving.....Meanwhile my narc ex continues to torment me....he is visiting all my hangout spots telling my friends how much he loves me and seeing one of my friends too . I have asked my friends to stop talking to me about him because that is what he wants and I want to respect my boyfriend. After all the crying and suffering I went through my friends are now saying he is such a great guy.

[@anitsazubovichdoesntlivehe4912]

Narcs cannot handle it when you have them figured out and you establish Firm Boundries. Grey Rock or No Contact. Save yourself now.

[@graceal-amarra7703]

Grey rock,?? What is that

[@graceal-amarra7703]

Grey rock???

[@graceal-amarra7703]

Grey rock??

[@catherineoyoo3083]

Grey rock is about acting in different to the narcissistic rage and not letting your feelings out as narcissis drain your energy through your reaction.Just give plain and simple responses and don't react to their provocation the way they expect you to do also involves being emotional detached to them

[@graceal-amarra7703]

@@catherineoyoo3083 ty...

[@IvanEarache]

They are always the victim. They blame everything and everyone but themselves. They will not apologise and are unwilling to change because they are always the wronged party.

[@jkb1O5]

Haidee Mac Carthy and then call you out for being the one who can’t accept blame

[@Stigmatix666]

@@jkb1O5 That's called "projection"

[@gillianbrookwell1678]

They have a habit of making their victim feel drained and not having accomplished anything. They also have difficulty answering a simple yes or no question.

[@KLT828]

This is my father in law

[@Iulia958]

They apologize in reverse (not about the issue at all) when their gaslighting doesn’t work and then take the victim role and reverse it you are the bad guy and you are not apologizing 🙄

[@malinkywoos]

You, sir, offer the clearest understanding of narcissism I have come across. Thank you so very much.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased! Dr. C

[@m.asammy3049]

He is he best,yes!

[@annking8633]

Agreed.

[@mariaverroye9510]

I love him and Dr Ramani. ⭐️

[@PrettyToez07]

He absolutely does! Couldn't agree more!!

[@tapestrylove2770]

Wow! Lived under the roof of a malignant narcissist for 20 years. Was not allowed to speak or feel or state an opinion. Pure torture! Free at last from that misery!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

"Free at last" I'm glad for you. LC

[@dwhoop7045]

Congratulations on your victory!!

[@tapestrylove2770]

@MAKE Eternity oh wow! Glad you are free! It's such insidious abuse. No one should have to endure it. Blessings to you in your freedom!

[@susaville]

Tapestry Love My mom was like that, and still is! I'm 35 and just recently realized what's wrong. It still feels debilitating. Good for you.

[@tapestrylove2770]

@@susaville it is still debilitating bc it's years of abuse on your psyche and soul. I have c-ptsd from it. I don't trust a single soul after going through it. It was then I knew evil truly existed in this world and works through these narcs.

[@dreamsoap54]

Narcissists do not want the good to happen to those around them but only worse, so that they can feel better by seeing you suffering more than themselves. One thing narcissists are so professional at is knowing who is a nice/good person with people pleasing charms. Run, when your gut tells you, my friend, run.

[@thewolf14]

If you are down they are up. Its their mantra

[@OhMyPearls]

Dream Soap Far and fast.

[@jofriedman4528]

Princess Meketaten - mine followed me too. Threatened suicide unless I told him where I'd moved to. I was foolish enough to take it seriously, never believing someone could stoop that low to use a suicide threat as a form of manipulation. Ummm, turns out they can. Wish I'd have called his bluff. ;)

[@alimo1611]

@Lovie Bryant I hope you didn't give up on dating

[@chautran5403]

SADISTIC they are!

[@eagleeye2300]

"Freedom is defined as the priviledge to choose." "The free person realizes that life is full of options." Great, Sir!!

[@neil7236]

Trust your gut instinct. And don't blame yourself..

[@jofriedman4528]

Sums it up.

[@tayarishakur]

Neil 72 They best way to describe it in one sentence..

[@Tightness8]

@its me narcissists are victims too. Narcissism is a maladaptive response to child abuse. Just because narcissists hurt people doesnt mean they arnt also a victim themselves. They are quite literally programmed to be dysfunctional. Nobody chooses their parents. They didnt ask or choose to become narcissists. You can be both a victim and a perpetrator, things dont have to be so black or white here.

[@ChristianProtossDragoon]

@@Tightness8 true.

[@janishart5128]

@@Tightness8: Yes, but once you've been hurt by one of these people, it's hard to keep in mind that they've been damaged somehow in childhood - because we don't deserve what they've done to us - their actions are irrational! I still don't understand WHY they continue to hurt others, just because they've been hurt - you'd think it would be the opposite and that they'd want to treat others better than they were treated. It's a mystery, that's for sure!

[@heidiaguilar1257]

The narcissist thinks nothing like you. They create roadblocks and chaos. I have experienced this for many years with family and so called friends.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So true...the goal is for you, not the narcissist, to set your own pace! LC

[@reesedaniel5835]

Cluster B's are of a different genetic seedline (Genesis 3:15/Psalm 58:3-5/Matthew 13:21)

[@YucanGo2Hell]

The narc wants to take away your identity. Especially narc parents.

[@ameliamansell5181]

I truly enjoyed and understood this video👍🏽

[@klueboy131]

Heidi Aguilar True. I also learned recently that they only take from you but never really give you anything for growth. I’d like to think now that I can leave a narc exactly where I found them, and not look back. Narcs need to hit their own rock bottom.

[@amandagarvey6331]

I was in a relationship with a narc for 5 years. I've been free for the last 7 months. I have my self esteem and confidence back. I will never allow myself to be controlled again!

[@Stigmatix666]

I was in a relationship with a sociopath for 2 years.. I'll never get those 2 years back and I'll never be the same person again. But, I'm not naive anymore and I can spot psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists far, far easier now.

[@paulmunro3175]

Some exorcist once wrote that when you deal with the devil, you lose a piece of your soul. My experience is that he was correct. You are never the same, but, as compensation, you come away with solid knowledge of yourself and the world as it is. The book was "Hostage To The Devil", by Malachai Martin.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad is my narc, he talks as if he is in a monologue. I quit his nonsense two months ago, what a relief!

[@bruiz4473]

If you tell a narcissist that you have the right to choose just know this can endanger your life and be dangerous. My advice is to never let the narcissist know what you are thinking.

[@irish327rose5]

Absolutely: neither would you tell your kidnapper you're planning to escape. Women are often raised to think as if just because a man speaks, they should tremble. Usually a man has a much easier time scaring a female, of course. But I was raised by my father: I saw a distinct difference. He didn't trip over himself trying to please someone thoughtless or trying to rush him into careless moves or decisions to benefit themselves. He heard others upset but calmly stood and let them express then considered his response without allowing anyone to rush him. He made up his own mind hearing the suggestions and learned wisdom of others but still doing what he felt was best for his own unique situation regardless of what others thought. He could respond with the contentment that he was a learner and a thinker for himself: he had no reason to respond in kind until it became physical, but then look out. And so can a woman. This stigma of women being out of control is ridiculous: its all in how you look at it. See what it is. Not what the narcs prefer for their own cause. Just because a man yells doesn't mean a woman has to start trembling and crying. See it and handle it and if the man is being unreasonable get it right or do better for yourself, because That is what men do, ladies.

[@CJTexas-bp2gi]

My ex husband, back in the 1980's was one of these, and he would stop at nothing to get anything he wanted no matter how large or small, he threatened my life numerous times and drained my credit cards. He would lie to people's faces. I was only with him a short time and then high tailed it out of there but it was still very difficult to shake him off and then recover from the financial damage he did, but I managed to do it after numerous years. They hide themselves very cleverly so others won't catch on to them. When asked by his sister why he lied to me about himself his reply was "I was afraid she would not marry me if I told her the truth". He was right about that. These people are great at ruining the lives of those they touch.

[@irish327rose5]

@@CJTexas-bp2gi I found out After I married mine and had kids by him that his parents believed his older siblings until he spent his whole childhood in his room: he spent our entire 10 years 'together' out burning gas and with his friends until Everything was my problem starting as soon as I was recovered from my own ills and childbirth to take care of everything. Finally he told me someone else after 10 years had feelings for him. I called him a dead horse and told him to go where the grass was greener. He got the keys to the car and I got the keys to the kids. Then the narcissists who cost me my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and even parents and supposedly 'raised' me got my kids. And grandkids. I'm working on that 😎 they can ruin your life, yes. But you can persevere beyond their Nightmares. No mercy on the wicked. No matter how old they get. They earn it. The truth Will prevail.

[@wildcritter4352]

Exactly.

[@HisWordisLife4U]

Never tell them what has hurt you or any conversation involving your opinions or feelings about anything. The agenda is to invalidate everything you think or make you feel bad about yourself. Even when you recant something that bothered you, it's weird, but your pain is their heroine, even when they are not inflicting it. So, if you can't have a conversation with this person, you can't ever build an actual relationship. They only want you to use you as a tool or a puzzle piece they have created for their own needs. Apart from that you have no use at all.

[@tiggpooh]

I've always been a free spirit. However he didn't like that so well and broke my sprit and plucked my wings right off! But they are growing back and I'm flying... Right out of here and away from him

[@nikiwright5261]

Just got free myself this past July!

[@persiusk]

Good for you baby girl, live your life. Be the light. Remember this, you cannot illuminate darkness with more darkness. Be the light.

[@SoulfulVeg]

My feathers grew back in, and I fly even higher now!

[@musclerussell8109]

Andrea Marie Savoia kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3a9cmx_r82djaM

[@misha2197]

Good for you! :)

[@jimmiejackson8489]

This just shook me out of a years depression Thank you

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Oh wow! Thanks. LC

[@mishaanton5436]

This my first video of his. Good common sense. Look forward to more.

[@mishaanton5436]

JJ itz not you. Nothing is wrong w you.

[@lanahenry8113]

Be free and live.

[@AlishaConn]

I think it did me too! Great video!

[@shawnadeyo]

Mine didn't want me to have freedom because he probably thought I would run around and cheat and lie just because that's what he would do all the time.

[@kimberlyjoyner4453]

😂

[@danadana4770]

Mine did do that all the time. Isn't it crazy how they believe it's a horrible thing to do (cheating etc) except when they do it? Then it's not wrong. My ex-husband told me once, "You know I can justify anything" and he had a big smile on his face as he spoke! WHAAAAT! He DOES actually know his true self! Unfortunately, for him, he doesn't realize that at some point, he will pretty much be the only one who accepts his justifications, and that God has never, and will never, accept them.

[@MediaEnslavedNation]

I'd say it was less about insecurity and more about property. You are/were considered "their woman" as in their car or their dog. You don't let the dog run loose in the streets do you ? Leave the keys in the ignition when you're indoors? Property rights vs human rights. Your have to be a human (and equal)to have equal rights...

[@MediaEnslavedNation]

@WolfThorn You shouldn't have to open your private things to soothe someone's insecurity whether you're willing or not. Its inappropriate to even ask that. And no, there is no reason to assume that the victim is giving off any sort of guilty vibe to justify the narcs insecurity. Don't confuse a normal relationship with what were discussing here or folks will start to wonder if you're the narc in your relationship ... Remember they think they are right and normal.

[@MediaEnslavedNation]

@WolfThorn Not true. You may be holding unrealistic expectations here. Every creature is entitled to privacy and the occasional secret. What exactly is the value of trust otherwise? How is social media involved at all? I challenge you to even find me on social media. I'm a Facebook/Twitter virgin myself. Its largely irrelevant to the topic.

[@florentan]

The one quality a narcissist can't accept? Equality.

[@salonsavy6476]

And Compromise!!,,,,

[@Rinpndip]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@m.asammy3049]

👍👍

[@jsf8145]

yep. total snobs

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

The right of the person being affected to say "no" to the narcissist!

[@irenemadrid3379]

When I finally said enough is enough I was abandoned....did me a favor.

[@ambersafdar1772]

Same here

[@tiffanyjohnson172]

Me too.

[@irish327rose5]

Same here. I was never so happy than to hear the whistling winds of change

[@joolspools777]

What do you mean abandoned?

[@LadywatchingByrd]

Me too. Still hurts, but good riddance to bad rubbish.

[@robynewilliams-heller1816]

What this gentleman says Could Not be more accurate. Free will, is something that truly terrifies the narcissist . They want to control.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks for the good word. Dr. C

[@wolfgang7812]

Doesn't the devil operate that way?

[@MimiMcWil]

So, my husband started doing 5 out 6 things cheaters do. I don't care if he goes out with friends I only ask him to lmk he's going. Not ask me but lmk. He hasn't done that numerous times and has come home from work late and very drunk. When I say I'm leaving if it persists am I trying to control him? Am I a narcissist? With the above being said, it hasn't always been this way.

[@marthaal-beitawi2448]

please contact me I need help, a narcissist killed my son when he didn't want anything to do with her. Please contact me, I just have a few questions. [e-mail]

[@montsemajanmartinez9824]

Also Autonomy. They want to invade YOU (as an army does a territory) and take up all of your personal time, attention and especially decision making.

[@patricevincent8738]

They will make you go think that you're crazy

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Gaslightling

[@patricevincent8738]

They will never change

[@uttum87]

They are really good at making feel and look like we are crazy

[@snowingsart4568]

OMG! I thought I was losing my mind. Unreal! NEVER EVER again, QJ, I got the lesson. Thank you for teaching me. MORON!

[@charpyles8923]

Patrice Vincent - Gaslighting

[@edwardelliott5756]

This is my wife. I wish I’d seen something like this had been around 20 years ago. I could have saved myself considerable pain and misery.

[@michaelsmith7982]

Edward Elliott and money

[@Jettingred4]

Amen! Spent the past 7 years reconnected to a guy I dated in my 20’s in the late 70’s after I was widowed..huge player. Now reconnected age 69 for since wife has passed. I volunteered to fly to west coast to pack all her things up.Holy hell! Started off so loving and kind and giving. I thought body snatchers had overtaken his soul, but thrilled. That first10 days. Stupid me! First the alcoholic showed up and the rages and tantrums! Gaslighting! I had not heard of NPD so I thought I was going insane. Absolute evil! Rollercoaster ride to hell everyday! By the time I returned back East my heart was broken and I was physically destroyed! Thankfully,family and friends and Gods intervention healed me. I have researched all about these insidious insecure monsters. 🏃‍♀️ Run now ! Kids or not. Get them as well and document it all! It’s not worth your sanity to stay and be an emotional punching bag! Oh and God forbid you crack a joke....they will take it personally and ruin what’s left of your day! They may be pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside. It’s like putting lipstick on a mean ass pig....it’s still a pig!Always remember a leopard Can’t change its spots! I am NO Contact with my ex NARC and finally life is good!😁🎈I hope you find happiness sweetie. Best piece of advice when mama psycho is raging at you. Take the kids and drive away, or go to a room lock the door with headset and chill music or a movie. Invite a pal over to sit outside for beers without her. But DO NOT REACT no matter what she says or threatens. Say NADA! Do not engage her or for minimal like where are the keys? Give her NOTHING she can use asa weapon against you. Clear ALL online history. Password protect phone different every week.make a private unassuming file for photos and any saved porn. Narcs a sneaky! Be careful, if you have a side gal get divorced first cause she will be hiring a Detective and even though she’s the one breaking down irretrievably, she’ll nail you for most of your stuff and kids and alimony and child support cause she had proof of your infidelity! I know this sounds coo-coo for cocoa pops, but it happened to my male really close friend and he said like you”I wish I had know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder when we first dated and I started questioning some uncomfortable behaviors. I just pretended it was cool and no big deal and the sex was fun..little did I know how not fun it was to become as the years passed! You need joy and love and happiness in your life, as none of our days are dress rehearsals so get out and have fun and quit living on a battlefield.....you deserve the gift of true JOY!

[@marjanstojanovic2663]

Possession does note tolerate FREEDOM... Possessiveness is a clear sign of narcissism...

[@traweler155]

very true

[@lexiedennis9991]

My covert narc used to rant at me that I was a control freak - if I didn't do something he told me to. The punishment I got if I ever stood up to him made life a miserable waiting game, waiting for him to decide whether I'd been punished long enough. You spend your whole life wrestling with your conscience; do I stay true to myself and say no, or do what he wants so as to stave off trouble and another argument? Bottom line is, life with a narcissist is constant low level anxiety and worry. And very little happiness. I'm out now.

[@billhoward532]

Narcissists cannot form or maintain loving relationships only co-dependent encounters because they have never been loved themselves and kept in co-dependent encounters.

[@irish327rose5]

They can't do anything for themselves. As soon as you stop doing for them its 'your fault' their life went down the tubes, and you should forgive and forget even though they wouldn't

[@IsabellRegisteredNurse]

Spot On!

[@bluecrystal3900]

Transactional relationships. They have no ability to relate to others on a human level.

[@Emir-hu5gy]

True

[@fantaclaus7053]

Bill Howard I'm going with a Feminist Narcy that started badgering me just because I told a sales girl that I needed my purchase sooner than two weeks and got her to do it. She considered my behavior to be rude. Meanwhile I told the Narcy that she is not me and I don't have to justify myself to her or anyone. My attitude? She can walk any time she wants. I also told her she was trying to control me and it won't work.

[@dynastyof3880]

They will do absolutely anything to prevent you to live your life the way you see fit even if you’re not with them.

[@heliaalves9062]

True. Evil is as evil does.

[@robinmurray5266]

I left my fiance over this. Everything was a "me,me,me" with him. His birthday? I couldn't buy him a gift (I was kinda broke) so I made him homemade ice cream, cake and his favorite dinner. Come my birthday? I didn't get so much as a, "Happy Birthday" or even an acknowledgement even after I told him it was my birthday. He went out and spent $500 outta our bill $ to buy a moped instead FOR HIM! He said we could wait til next month to pay bills and my birthday was 'just another day and I was just getting old anyways'. Then he gets picked up for DUI on the moped and thought I would help him with all the legal bills?!!!!! There was getting the moped outta impound, court fines, probation fees....you name it. I refused! He tore the bedroom apart looking for $ he thought I'd stashed...he wasn't that clever. I started packing up my stuff and just flat out left when he was at work. He NOW somehow got my number and contacted me after 2yr. and said he wants me back. Told him no and he started cussing, screaming and saying I needed psych help because I was very egotistical and self centered? I know what he's after! MONEY! When I asked if he needed $ he got real sweet and said, "We could have such a beautiful life together helping each other". I ain't falling for that! Told him to go to hell in a hand basket!

[@jofriedman4528]

Robin Murray - holy sh****!!! That's classic textbook narc! And actions so obvious that even HE should be able to see his own insanity... Except they can't... Wow... Just wow. 😮 SOOOOO glad you're out and told him where to go!! 🎉🍾 *another one bites the dust*

[@solutreanswerethenatives3954]

Yep they dont want to spend time or money on anyone cause they take those who love them for granted. They just want to be catered to and put others down to make themselves feel better. They push the ones that love them away because of their ego and selfish pride.

[@annnonymous9791]

I cracked up when you said "he wasn't that clever!" I had never been with a narcissist until I met my neighbor and we had a few barbecues and movies together. Then he was "do you want to go shopping?" We would go to Sam's Club, and he would spend $500 on whatever I wanted to eat, and then lock it all up in his house next door! Hilarious! When I said I was invited to go to stay with old friends near Mackinaw, within two weeks this neighbor's brother & fam. had already JUST been there on vacation and were sitting in his driveway on there way back from there as we returned from shopping (for him, of course) one day. Imagine that! They'd never been there before and decided to go within 14 days of hearing that I was planning on going! They had to give me a complete report too. The Narcissist just couldn't stand not being one step ahead of me at all times and in control of what I planned to do! I planned to clean out a storage unit of family memorabilia, to which he volunteered to help, but offered to stack it in his garage as I didn't have room for sorting. He then exclaimed "I can't wait to go through all of your dad's things and learn all about him". 😂 He was neither invited nor entitled! I soon discovered he was a closet alcoholic, with quite a past! He cornered me violently & aggressively one day, and the next day I removed everything from his garage and had the police serve him with a restraining order. Hahaha! It was the best day of my life! His new name is psycho dude! On the surface, he's a handsome well behaved gentleman ex-marine. Behind closed doors, he's a raging lunatic control freak. Attacked 2 previous wives, kids, cops...omg! Now he lives with his mommy, again. Now that I know the signs to look for, they're very easy to spot. I had one executive come up to me at a public event and start badgering me about my political beliefs. Game on. I wouldn't budge. We were very attracted to each other physically, but wisdom prevailed thank God! Not one word. 20 minutes of questioning...thought water-boarding was next! I just let him get all lathered up & dig his own hole. He would not disclose what city he was from nor which Aerospace industry Corp. he was with although he had to drop the "A" bomb (that he was an aerospace engineer.) whoopie! He had to maintain some type of "one up" control. When I was done listening to his sad sad lonely life... he was miserable story... (looking for an empath), I disclosed my extensive aviation background. He turned white as a sheet. Game over. I then told him, You know what?...you're only three people away from anyone in the entire world!, that I'm sure we had mutual friends, Boeing, G.E., R.R., and that I was currently studying commercial aviation for an atpl! He freaked out completely, badgered me as to why would I do such a thing, got pissed off, and then I politely 'dismissed' him as I was leaving the event. He turned and stormed off boiling mad with a smart alec remark. (how dare I become a pilot!) Fare Thee Well narcissist, go back to your cave. I'm free like the wind and love to fly! Not explaining your reasoning really makes them "manifest". Not succumbing to this one & putting him back in his box was great! His pity line was.." I woke up the other night in my chair and my dinner was still sitting on my plate in my lap" waaaaahhhhh

[@robinmurray5266]

Nickhead87. I was living in Key West at the time. Mopeds are a major source of transportation there. On a little island 2miles wide by 4miles long it's basically all you need. Cops are super strick about getting drunk and operating one. Tourists are always thing they can go wild with just rentals and bar-hop. Many get seriously injured or killed on em. But, yep. That guy was and still is a major ASS!

[@robinmurray5266]

ann nonymous I'm dealing with another one at work now. He's 20, knows EVERYTHING, done everything, is the BEST at everything, bad mouths, women,Blacks & Jews....a real bully. Boss has had words with him but letting it slide for the moment because the kid goes in the Navy next month. Well CHA, CHA, CHA....LET THE GAMES BEGIN WHEN HIS DRILL SGT. GETS AHOLD OF HIM. 😝 Gonna clean that boys clock!!! PS....His rude racist and antisemitic jabs? He was saying horrible things about blacks to a very sweet Hispanic lady we work with. Little did he realize she is married to an African American and has black kids. SHE ABOUT TORE HIM UP! He also didn't realize I am Jewish and was making rude comments about Jews. PERFECT!!!! I replied by telling him that my Great Grandmother was one of the very first JEWISH WOMEN (during WW1) that served as a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy...TRUE FACT!!!! He looked like he was going to faint and now pussy foots around me and shuts his mouth. I told my hispanic co-worker about it and she was laughing so hard she was afraid she was gonna pee!!!! Karma on him!!

[@sylviakovessy]

When I was a baby bird, my father put me in a cage and said you can never leave. I spread my wings and flapped and my mother saw and said you can never leave and she cut off my wings. I cried and cried because I knew my wings were gone and my sister came by and said why are you crying because you don't have wings and in her jealousy she plucked out my feathers one by one. I was devastated, I had no wings, no feathers and there was no way out. I stayed in my cage till my parents died and my sister had married and moved. Then God said come here my precious bird I Love you. I cried and said I can't I'm in this cage and God sent an angel to open my door. I hopped over to God and said thank you Lord for setting me free. I still can't fly and I still have very few feathers but I can hop and sing..Praise The Lord for setting me free.

[@rubyrose2522]

Beautiful, sweet girl

[@rubyrose2522]

Oh my goodness 😪😓😪😭🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@robinmurray5266]

Sylvia Kovessy Beautiful!

[@rudyfromhouston8811]

Wow. Awesome.

[@SovereignQueen9]

I'm with you, there's nothing empowering to this narrative. At some point YOU have to decide to act for yourself and not wait for anyone's permission to live your own life.

[@deonnatomlinson5762]

Been there done that !!! 8 yrs of hell was enough ... Been divorced 9 yrs n still haven’t ever truly dated anyone since then.. it destroys your ability to trust others again 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Robb3348]

I had a similar experience of not being able to trust (sufficiently) after being devastated by someone classifiable as Narcissistic. But I'm getting over it now after doing DEEP inner work on myself, invoking the Infinite Love-Consciousness (which is the deepest "I" of each of us), and being open to what G-d offered me in response to my affirmations of health and lovingness.

[@patsyryan1740]

You are so right! The narcissist loves to hold hostages.

[@mzmolly4898]

I think the man I was with for 11 years was a very covert narcissist. He never outright told you what to do but damn was he good at making you feel like you had to do things his way. The constant soft complaints disguised as "preferences", the digs at my self esteem disguised as "joking" or "just helping you be the best person you can be" type behaviour, the subtle guilt, the subtle threats of leaving for someone who would do things his way, the extremely subtle control was mind blowing. Now it's a matter of regaining my self esteem and figuring out why I didn't walk out much, much sooner.

[@m.j.2939]

That's my ex friend and now she's become a "life coach /councilor " God help her clients. She would actually get mad at you for not taking her advice no matter how bad it was.

[@jofriedman4528]

mz molly - I am so so sorry to hear that. That was my experience too. Turns out a man I attracted into my life was an exact mirror reflection of my relationship with my father - a man I thought had my back through thick and thin but later realised had been using covert controlling strategies like soft "joking" ridicule, "gentle" mockery, subtle invalidations, 'gentle' disappointment when I had my own opinion or way of doing things, etc.. For me, I feel I didn't see it sooner because I just had so much faith in him and he really is a lovely guy with a kind and generous heart. I didn't think it was even possible that my dad could just be using me to fend of his fear of abandonment and to have someone onto whom to project his victim-based narratives. He really didn't know and still to this day has no idea who I am. I was never in 'our relationship' - there was no me, only him and what he expected of me. I just felt like nothing more than a pawn/2D canvas for his inner dialogues. Also, my mother was an extremely abusive overt narc, so compared to her, my dad seemed 'perfectly normal'. I actually thought it must have been me. :( But now that I'm healthy, I can see clearly that no one who is psychologically healthy gets in a relationship with a narc. Only when we're conditioned to have no boundaries. So I think a combination of comparing him to my mum, not yet realising it's possible for a person to be 'nice', genuinely kind AND controlling at the same time and genuinely not believing someone I trusted so dearly could actually be taking advantage of me was what made it so difficult for me to see. Thank god for the narc friend who mirrored this to me to help me figure it out for myself. Hope this helps a little in your own exploration. x

[@cnicole1972]

That's been my experience. Covert narcissists are harder to detect until you're in too deep, then you're like WTF is going on here????

[@m.j.2939]

@@cnicole1972 I know right. That's due to we empaths trusting nature snd their sly decietful love bombing to start with. When they do something you excuse them for having a bad day because they aren't normally like it. Then the mask starts falling too often and they can't keep up the clean up love bombing afterwards. Or they have simply found another victim to move onto.

[@squeezeliz]

Yes. Yes. I spent 6 months (thank God not longer) thinking I totally had some sort of movie love (my bad...lol). Dumped him after being so sick of his shit that definitely felt like games to me... he would make me feel crazy and invalidate my feelings completely any time I wanted to discuss them... but oh you better believe I be there for his fucking problems. To hear his boohoos out. I dumped him , AND THEN learned about another victim he was taking advantage of... Me and her have been treated the exact same way... fed the exact same lies.. told the exact same sweet talk (we exchanged texts)... I spent about two days completely blaming him. Then I realized, I need to learn from this because this shit will never happen again!!! We must take charge of our own lives. They taught us a really valuable lesson and made me realize a lot about myself... It's good to see people want to learn from their own suffering. Take action. No more tears on these mfkrs

[@CashCatMoney]

He said I always had free will and chose, but he created an environment where I can only select his choices. He wanted the illusion of me being in control, but he wanted to control me.

[@timperry9039]

Tiffany Tan spot on! That’s exactly what my partner does to me! If I say ‘you always control me’ the answer I get is ‘but you do have freedom’........ but, as you said Tiffany, it’s on their terms, the crumbs they feed you!

[@thebluevelvetriver]

Exactly! Mine tells me I have freedom but any choices that aren't his are surrounded with land mines. When I've talked about being controlled he says you can't be the victim because you've been given the ability to make your own choices so anything you've not done is on you. But anything I do to try to break free is ripe with rage and consequences as he enacts his punishment while telling me how he's justified to do so. It's sick!

[@Picca65]

Sounds like communistis democracy where you can only vote for one party.

[@janbeck7989]

Do remember too, people (men and women) who are attracted to the narcissistic personality were ..more than likely, raised by a narc, either mother or father. They were SET UP, Trained..if you like..to live within these boundaries. That makes it harder for them to "see" what's happening and then to "change" their circumstances. Please warn people, if you're in this situation and your partner is obviously narcissistic personality disorder, then realize you could be staying inside of the relationship bec/ of your NEED to be tightly controlled. Being tightly controlled is what you're accustomed to, to you, it means "love". Being a more submissive person was the way you were trained to please your parent. Pleasing the narc partner is NOT different. Its very convoluted...NOT always straightforward.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Very good thoughts. Dr. C

[@LoveAsianCulture]

Jan Beck Thats an excellent insight! Thank you. I didnt think of that. I was raised by my grandma who was a Narc and then some (her rolemodel was Margarette Thatcher and she run the family like a despot runs s small country: sanctions, punishment, control and atmosphere of fear, plus physical violence). But she repeatedlyt told me how she loved me more than anyone was capable of loving me. Both my husbands and even my best friend (a female) had her energy and selfish, controlling nature and were out and out Narcs. Im free of them all now and my life with my wonderful loving FAIR and respectful children that i raised in loving, supportive environment is calm, peaceful and happy. Gone are the tension, constant drama and a heavy feeling of dread. We are Free!!

[@desertrose9919]

Equally applies to those brought up in religious settings, religion is like collective narcissism.

[@clairemcdaniel1253]

What's really interesting is that I have two narcissistic bosses (one 30 year old female and one 40 year old male - Why do they always have to get into management!). The woman complains about the man all the time. Almost everything she says about him is true about her and she can't see it. I have to bite my tongue a lot!

[@janbeck7989]

@@clairemcdaniel1253 when Narcs complain about another, its just their way of saying "look at me look at ME!! I"M THE ONE, not the other person, ME ME ME ME"

[@dimension-ji7xk]

Narcissism is the result of spiritual deficiency.

[@faithfulone4678]

This is so true!!!!!

[@goddessreads6909]

Shapeshifters demons Run.......

[@alanmacification]

Oh gees, < facepalm >

[@mountainmitch9467]

Are you kidding? Narcissists can be the ultimate spiritualist.

[@tonyaparis286]

@@mountainmitch9467 they think they can fool God himself!!

[@bluediamond4895]

I understand that very well. The worst kind of a narcissist is the kind that embarrasses you out of things you like. I knew a narcissist that always made me feel like I was weird or something was wrong with me. They made me believe it until I cut them off. Now I feel free and I can be myself without feeling embarrassed all the time with who I am.

[@Hawaiiansky11]

One of the best things you can do after being free from them, is do all the stuff they looked down on you / criticized you for / hated that you enjoyed. It's a beautiful way to say, "FU!"

[@bluediamond4895]

Hawaiiansky11 beautifully said

[@royalzee248]

I can relate. The narcissist that I was dating for a while, eventually told me that I was odd. Then when she saw it didn't bother me, she said that she was odd too. I got mirrored. Basically, narcissists are just projecting. You aren't weird, you're just being yourself which is normal. It's weird when you observe other people to form a false false to hide your real self.

[@Stigmatix666]

Yup That's exactly what my sociopathic ex gf did. Belittling my interests and hobbies and called them "stupid", to the point of me losing interest in them.. they're certainly back now, though. And yes, sociopaths/psychopaths are narcs as well..

[@Stigmatix666]

@maggie Because they'll destroy each other and the won't be able to control each other either

[@mcheree1976]

THE BEST DEFINITION THUS FAR! They know it all, don’t want your input or opinions! I wasn’t allowed to speak about my feelings

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Don't give your power to the N or anyone else! LC

[@davidslavinski8197]

Exactly , w should value our time ,energy,self value ,emotion stock as priceless ,only invest on our own accord. My birth mom was afull blown psycopath ,i picked up the faulty amygdala eg half thetimes when fearand fight or flight kck in for normal amygdala s i don t feelthose thins its good for getting friend out of dangerous sitiuations cons , a fire in akitchen dosent trigger feaf or flight or fight half the timefor example , ialso got the ia beyond rules and laws but iset bondaries on this one th ,besides im non aspd

[@davidslavinski8197]

Pretty scary it is,they are sensitive only to their feelings,Projections they do ,thdey hate being interupted mid sentence then u take over the convo with"I ryou remberber that u told me u never are right ? Do i in front of Their parents they care about their image so much they are forced toagree with u if they dont they tarnish theirimage.Mybro is a sociopath his fam image is #1 its his only financ ial support w/out he struggles, aso loaded ?'s i use on him to get truth on ?´s he would lie to me about just me ahim talkng a1 on 1 so iask him in loaded ? Form in front of fam,calll him out on bad things he does to me with double trap loaded ?"s in front of mom and dad he gotta tell the truth either way,iask these ?"s while im giving him no eye contact in non emotional , cod ambivaent tone.

[@RJ-hx5nb]

How I handled my precious freedom: no contact now for over 4 months. Ahhhhh

[@aquarius324]

I wasn't either. Anytime I tried to discuss anything, I was told that it "wasn't a good time", I "talk too much", "harp on things", or flat out "shut up". Nothing I felt was ever resolved in any way.

[@nerodiamante9441]

Never ask a narc if anything is ok, its codependent behaviour, which keeps the narc in a position of power over you. Never attempt to reason with the narc, its both futile and fuel supply

[@juliemclean6266]

This is spot on. Also another thing they can't stand the thought of others having privacy, they call it being sneaky. Thankyou for this video. X

[@heliaalves9062]

They have no clue what privacy is, except their own that they cleverly protect. Others are so below them that they don't have the right to privacy at any time.

[@relaxitsnotthatserious7090]

Oh my fuckin gosh yesssssss He even have his friends calling me sneaky because i don't want other people in my business. He tells everyone everything that's going on in our personal life and makes sure that i look bad to others.

[@quasimobius]

@@relaxitsnotthatserious7090 Bingo !

[@LinYouToo]

This! I had no privacy as a young child and even now years later my mom still grills me on what I had to eat all day because she’ll be upset if I went out for dinner and didn’t ask her. Funny, I’ve been eating a lot of Campbell’s chunky soup in recent years 😉

[@lamonicarush754]

O my everything is all TRUE once u start reading...its everything thats been going on with me against the narc ive been with..he says i took his mom away from him and we are plotting against him..and everybody else..and that his mom knew i was bringing other guys in the house to have sex with em..and hes there everynight and Day "no job" panhandler humm....SOMEONE yeah made up shit in yr head u on the DARKSiDE working for the DeVil thats what i told him u must be Crazy i was calling him sycotic..he goes i aint crazy yall think i am....i mean he actually believed that i had some guys in his Mother house....he would hear voices and talking to them out loud...i told him thats the devil dont feed in to it dont talk back to those voices but he wouldnt they already had him...drugs alcoholic cigarettes...and a manipulator all the above and i had left him i was with him 3 months didnt take me long to figure out what he was doing at all my mind is very very stong he didnt get away with to much i was like hell naw i cant help u and u cant help me..u screwed up and know it and dont care...

[@angelahamlett8249]

Just got out of this situation. My daughter too. I learned not to be a people pleaser. Then you can't get sucked in. Free again and breathing again. Thank You!

[@Hipsteren]

Just got out of this situation. But without my daughter. I learned not to be a people pleaser. Then you can't get sucked in. Free again I guess but still not breathing. Good luck!

[@melissa7633]

Hurray! So happy for you! Still in it (27 yrs) myself. Any tips for getting out? I have nothing. I have no one. Best of luck to you and your daughter! Be blessed 🙂

[@totallyamazing3638]

You've completely described my mother. Period. Because I no longer wanted to be her victim, she became angry. I had to cut off all contact. No one in our family has anything to do with her.

[@cherylc3792]

Youd think your mother might "get it" and do some inner work but narcs never change even if they hit rock bottom

[@totallyamazing3638]

@@cherylc3792 Exactly. She will most likely be that way until she's in her grave. I don't see her changing.

[@olivest509]

I just went no contact with my mother, too. I won't be going back because she promises to change, and does change, but only long enough to get you back in her web and then it's back to the same old patterns of abuse.

[@vanessasouthern1792]

Me too. I’m moving away never to return I’m so damaged. But I’m free! 😊

[@totallyamazing3638]

@@vanessasouthern1792 I wish you the best. Trust me. It will get better.

[@cosmicdancer6169]

Cut off communication even if they are family. Get energy healing and if you were raised by them you’re going to have their critical voices in your head. No contact, meditation, yoga and reiki has helped me heal from the abuse.

[@jofriedman4528]

Kim Tookey - wonderful. (Not the abuse, but your ability to heal and get beyond it. 🙏🏼)

[@estherschell532]

Kim Tookey advice? My narc father is dying. I wrote myself out of his will said goodbye and now huge family pressure to see him cuz I’m breaking gpas heart. He has been almost dying for years too not even sure this is it... I’m frozen I can’t go!! I am now labeled as selfish heartless and I’m punishing him etc. I’m not. I just never want to be around that play actor anymore. I feel like Superman around kryptonite when I see him. Thanks for the post.

[@eunicejazz98]

My sister is narcissistic, I am about to cut contact with her.

[@irish327rose5]

Family are the worst kind. They're sure they know you and they're the worst lied to. They push manners but use them on everyone but the narcs victim.

[@irish327rose5]

@@estherschell532 doesn't seem you're wrong to feel that way. Lots of people go to their graves never knowing the truth. Lots of people go to their graves never telling the truth.

[@TheDeebone]

Sometimes I'm confused whether I'm the narcissist or I'm just so brain washed by being surrounded by the narcissist. It's a constant hell of a confusion in my brain.

[@Stigmatix666]

Sounds like you're describing cognitive dissonans caused by narcissistic abuse

[@MoonLady-d5w]

The fact you even can consider that you could be tells you that you're not.

[@Stigmatix666]

@@MoonLady-d5w Yes, it's quite normal for narc survivors to go through the phase of believing themselves to be narcs, actually.. As messed up as that may sound. Don't worry, it'll pass :)

[@MoonLady-d5w]

@@Stigmatix666 I concur

[@SiriusRider1]

Thats really how i also feel!.

[@lolabear6788]

This is the concept of the narcissist freaking out if anyone disagrees with them, but boiled down to the root issue of them not tolerating your free will. Thank you for this exposition.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Not tolerating the free will of others is the trait of a tyrant/dictator ("God" wannabe). Sounds a lot like the devil.

[@mishaanton5436]

Reese Daniel ..amen. The narc told me i didn't need ro hear from God bc God told him. WoW.

[@kristiarnold9093]

@@mishaanton5436 That is demonic 😬

[@Hawaiiansky11]

Because they have no sense of 'self,' they (1) try to control YOU, as you are an 'extension' of who they are and (2) they have no real personality. Every single thing they do is an act.

[@carissadenee9423]

You’re a beautiful man and a true light worker. Thank you for your words.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you! Dr. C

[@frankfordification]

Light Bearers and Light Workers are New Age Luciferian terms. Educate yourself.My narcissist was into that new age crap which is luciferianism warmed over. She was a Light Worker and told me her religion permitted adultery.

[@PPMOCRG]

Frank Marion Those names are used to refer to other things also.

[@scook9833]

They sure do value their own freedom though. Just not yours.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Funny how that works. LC

[@sunshines4555]

Yep

[@JA-lc1cx]

True

[@greekgirl209]

So true!

[@michaeldeth1485]

S Cook and funny how your choosing your own way somehow in their minds violate their own freedom...

[@andrewpratten]

I say, in a very calm tone: "well that's your decision to chose to do/act in such a way and I can't stop you but, I also have the right to not accept it, and I tell you, I won't accept it."

[@psychedlicsouljam1995]

And the narc replies with something either angry or sarcastic: "what's that supposed to mean? You're not even making sense... you dont even know why you're angry." Or the worst "okay, sure, ____.(calls you by your first name in a rude way" you think that." Or!!!! "You have to stop blaming me for all your problems in life and take responsibility. I always pick up the pieces in the end" Sorry had to get that off my chest. Rhe narc in my life has become so predictable now that I've been educating myself on NPD in my free time and in therapy. I have great doctors and counselors in my life. O am finally becoming my true self... and of course the NPD cannot stand me breaking the codependency and setting boundaries . It is driving her to insanity. She has been getting me into legal trouble now and messing with my housing situation. That's also an eye opener - my own mother wants to see me fail. So she can come to the rescue- to save me from the pain she caused.

[@conniewhite7978]

My daughter just FINALLY left him. I'm getting her an apartment.

[@quasimobius]

You sound exactly like the mother of the last woman my daughter's narc boyfriend attempted to completely destroy.

[@UnknownUnknown-yl1lt]

@Connie White..I hope your babygirl is doing okay. Its takes so much strength to leave a narc because they have a mental hold on you..almost like a drug. She's very lucky to have such a supportive, loving mother like yourself. Hope all is well💕

[@goingketo7584]

@@quasimobius it took me 5 tries to figure out you were talking about yourself. 😏

[@lesnash6953]

I hope she's doing well!

[@dianneabernethy2505]

your response sounded odd.

[@CG-bt7oc]

"...and they rob you of your own ability to be yourself". Spot on!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

C G,I admire your lovely smile 😊!!

[@SophieBird07]

My narc quote: “When I want your opinion...I’ll give it to you” (!)

[@genuinefralwaysmichael721]

OMG WOW. How do these people not notice that what is coming out of their mouth is FLASHING RED NEON IGNORANCE AT ITS WORST????????????

[@evamcinnis7992]

Indeed!😘😍😍💞👣👣👣

[@ladymaiden2308]

Sophia Lahen here's another one... "Your feelings are inaccurate, if you had all of your 'math' right you wouldn't feel that way." lol.

[@truthseeker6909]

typical

[@carolynjanes7505]

Lmao! That's awesome!! 😅😅😅

[@sideswiped6874]

I have learned that EVERY relationship the covert narcissists has of any kind and any depth is based on his "fake self", no matter who he talks to, rather a thank you in a store or to a lover he has to protect his True SELF from being seen. how horrible it must be for him

[@thebluevelvetriver]

I relate!

[@godsvibrations7878]

My Narcissist can’t stand the fact that I am loving , compassionate, and tolerant and helpful towards other than himself. He says he loved my big heart that he loves how compassionate I am and then hates me for the same things. 🤦‍♀️ He expects me to stop supporting and helping my 17 year old saying he’s already too old for me to have him round. When he said this to me I realized he had to go!

[@quasimobius]

That's because they are supposed to be the only recipients of your time and generosity. When they try to isolate you from your family that's a big red flag.

[@francinesmith8109]

It's not his decision how you raise your child or how long you help them in their lives. These ppl are despicable.

[@bonesgirl302]

GODS VIBRATIONS They always hate you for the good things they love.

[@hauweiguy9587]

This week ive been thinking about why a narc i know has a love/hate relationship with a wonderful loving religous person. Its jealousy and hatred that this person dares love others and not just the narc.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

You and your 17 year old deserve better than the narcissist! My dad is the narcissist, I deserve better than him!

[@sixtysix2632]

Your Absolutely right. Narcissists are evil people they don't care about anyone or their feelings. True is like being in a prison, always being watched and forbidden to be yourself. And your not allow to have your own opinions about anything for yourself. It's all about their control over you.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Evil is a strong word, but narcissism is one of those personality disorders that is on the spectrum toward evil. This is especially true of the malignant narcissist. I haven't gone into the mannerisms of the psychopath in my videos, but they are narcissists who have gone to the dark side. LC

[@sixtysix2632]

Surviving Narcissism why I said evil is because of my own personal experiences. I can't believe anyone could behave in such a manner.

[@reesedaniel5835]

Evil is a perfectly accurate description of those who "steal, kill and destroy" (however covertly). Evil is Live in reverse. The opposite of Life, so that is a perfect description of narcissists. In fact, it's the only description that fits them.

[@TheeKaylaMarieOne]

I have met many of these people and they enjoy harming others which is extremely sadistic. You were chosen for a reason! You will heal 💕

[@sunshines4555]

EXACTLY!!!

[@goodgracious6364]

The narc I knew never felt the need to ask me if I wanted to go a specific place, nor did he feel the need to tell me where he was heading whenever we were riding in the car together. For example, we would be coming from the grocery store and he would just drive to his friend's house, stop to go get an oil change, or stop to pick up something from somewhere. When I told him that he should at least ask me if I wanted to tag along, he would go into a rage and claim that something was wrong with me, that I was always starting "foolishness". He wanted to have total control over me and felt that I had no right to object.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Plain and simple...no one exists on this earth to control another. LC

[@mishaanton5436]

Thats a true NPD. And I for one have no opinion that we shd pity them. The NPD has been in a mainstream Christian denomination for 30 yrs at least. 10 I shared a church. So there is enough support to be real. And if one has a relationship w Jesus well Jesus heals and reveals truth and is safe. So I s not agree w some on Soc media that there is no hope for the Narcc. Nor excuses. I had a lot of trauma in childhood. A lot self inflicted in my teens n 20's some adult trauma. Nope. Jesus heals.

[@mishaanton5436]

I say The narcc not mine as so many recovering do. He is not mine. Seems wierd for ppl to say mine. Not My landmine... "the" landmine.

[@annabelaviles1353]

I live with one, and it's just horrible, I can't even watch tv peacefully because he comes to see what I'm watching every 5 mns, he fakes the love he supposedly feels for me, its all about him about what he wants my feelings and opinions don't matter, I can't wait to leave him, I am currently looking for a job so I can get out and be free! They're absorbing self center evil creatures, he is Christian and I hate going to church with him, its awful to see what a hipocrite he is

[@FlawlesZMa]

@@annabelaviles1353 he is not a born again christian if he is a true narcissist ..evil and darkness doesn´t dwell with light and a christian has the Holy Spirit and the FRUIT of the Spirit..

[@colin562]

Brilliant in creating awareness... psychopaths simply want to destroy anything positive strong or good in you...also society is slightly psychopathic in not wanting you to succeed... anyone that reduces your confidence or creativity should raise an immediate red alert... London UK

[@millieo7155]

The narcissist in my life was my mother. I was in my 40s before I realized I was not allowed to have my own feelings. "Don't feel that way" Feel this way." When my mother was 95 I realized just how narcissistic she was. I realized I was not a separate, real person to her. I've spent most of my time in bed since. I realized I never had a mother. I hope for others you can offer some words of awareness for others who only know what they've had since birth.

[@millieo7155]

@anonymous ... I have experienced dissociation as a darkness taking over. Memory doesn't happen. I started to notice when it was happening. The darkness didn't happen but that meant I was left with the anxiety, fear, the feelings. I think staying in bed is like the darkness but still with cognitive function. It is a big help with not feeling overwhelmed. Does that make any sense? The dissociation happens less and less and my ability to experience distress in the moment improves.

[@sandysuma]

Wow, I feel for you since I too found out later as an adult that all those years I was not allowed to have my own feelings only what my mother told me to feel. I thought I was being a good daughter by pleasing her but I was killing myself a little at a time. Whenever I was happy or improved in my life, my mother would make negative comments. I didn't know my emotions then because I trusted that she was my mother and would not hurt me but I found out later that I was wrong, Your family is can hurt you in ways that not even a stranger can because they know so well and know what buttons to push. I alway reserved a place in my heart for family because I thought they were my supporter and wouldn't hurt me but that's a false sense of security since they can be the most damaging and hurtful compare to anyone else. I always felt like I didn't have a mother when I was growing up, she expected me to be her listening ear to comfort her and do things that will make her life easier; she never treated me like her daughter. I have 3 sisters, my mother gave them affection, attention and care but not to me. It was tough to acknowledge and I was in denial for so long because it was too painful to face. When I finally did, it was bitter sweet. I am not completely free since my mother still looks for me when she needs me but she will not look for me just to see how I am doing. This truth I know so I will just have to mother myself. I hope you will gain strength and realize that you are stronger than you think. You will get past this once you let yourself be honest with what you feel. It's not a cure but can be managed. It's not your mother who will release you, you will have to release yourself. Your are stronger than you think. Good Luck and Peace be with you.

[@wayfarinstranger2444]

Oh sweetheart, same here. But don't spend your time in bed, don't let them abuse you further by taking your joy. Don't let them steal that too! You are here, through your parents not BECAUSE of your parents , sweetie. They are really not that important, just a conduit to get you here. It is their loss to not enjoy the gift of you, you should feel sorry for HER, not for you, because she never deserved you. But you are here, living and breathing and she will die soon. Her loss. Live your life!!!!!

[@crystalhall3314]

We are in the same boat except my mother was not only a narcissist my sister was the biggest narcissist my mother was a bigger victim but my mom did the most abuse my sisters doing it now I never knew my mom was a narcissist

[@christinel2543]

Me too buddy the show they put on is believed by most which is truly just awful

[@janeh8020]

My thoughts and opinions mean nothing, so I've given up expressing them. It's a very lonely and isolating place to be when someone couldn't care less about what you think and who you are. Thank you so much for this video - It's time for me to move on.

[@hughenadasilva5055]

Jane H. I understand. Married young to a Narc. 56 yrs, and now I'm free!!! Emotional and Psychological Abuse was about to get physical and threatened to kill me. He is 88 yrs and was removed from our flat by Court Order. I now continue to live in our flat totally free. Not allowed to communicate with each other. He's gone to live with our son and family in another country.

[@sandrapeard8139]

I fully agree with you, mine doesn’t even care how I look, how I have my hair done etc, only to say why don’t you have it cut very short to save time in the shower and drying it (to save his money on electric), no I will wear my hair as I like (I didn’t say that of course), so when he knows I’m getting it done, he never ever compliments me. I’ve only got the essentials clothes and shoes wise (you don’t need any more), oh the list goes on, as for criticism!!!! I’d never say anything now, my family are dirt to him and I never say if I met up with my sister so as to about all the negative comments, I’m not allowed my own opinions either, he’s always right.

[@kristiarnold9093]

Hopefully some friends in your life will help you recover your self

[@fireballplay2946]

Jane H Get away from him before he destroys you.

[@jonesnax]

As someone who is just finding the strength to leave a toxic family relationship, your words are a great comfort and fill me with hope. Thank you

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased! Dr. C

[@happycat0411]

Narcissist cannot accept the truth about their past.... Once you've exposed their hidden secrets then they will do anything and everything to try and ruin your reputation rather than face the truth.... There's a special place in HELL for narcissists

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

"Narcissistic Hell!"

[@stefanseniuk339]

I have just come out the other side of a 4 year relationship with a narcissist...she was very beautiful, slim, intelligent, funny, sophisticated, lives in a big old house full of antiques etc...I live in the UK and believe me this was one classy lady with an accent that made my heart melt but she was also cruel, controlling, sadistic, arrogant, untrustworthy, judgemental, very critical. Luckily I'm a strong person...I ended it many times and she would always beg me back promising to change and round and round we'd go until I eventually ended it for good. I've never felt so anxious and full of self doubt in all my life. I really fell head over heels in love with that woman, she had so many really cool traits but to have stayed with her would have meant losing my sanity. A real shame, I think she may grow old a very lonely lady but its not my responsibility to fix her. I don't hate her and still miss her, 9 months on I guess I'm still in the grieving period but I'm glad its over and my freedom feels good.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

A defining feature of narcissism is the ability to make positive impressions, for a while. It can take time for the dark side to show up, but as you learned, it does show up. Good luck as you move forward. LC

[@stefanseniuk339]

Thank you, I think there is some remaining trauma related to the experience, I'm 55 and was hoping for a stable relationship to enrich the middle into latter stages of life. The emotional pain and mental confusion caused by that relationship really is quite unnerving at this time in life...

[@views-fg3zw]

Good thing you are out🙏

[@brad5999]

Hang in there . Just remember. You don't miss her. You miss the idea of her. I went through it too until I woke up after 8 years.

[@stefanseniuk339]

Thanks Fred, your right...the only person you can change is yourself...

[@kdalessandro9895]

I noticed something about the narcissist in my life. If I choose something he tries to get me to choose something else. It doesn't matter what it is either.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

An extension of his entitlement. He has to be unique. Dr. C

[@goodenergy11]

Surviving Narcissism Wow! Neat insight.

[@genuinefralwaysmichael721]

Kim Dalessandro. That's just sick. So sorry to hear that. Maybe play a trick on him...if there are two selections, pretend to choose the thing you DON'T really want.

[@fireballplay2946]

Kim Dalessandro Get rid of him before he destroys you.

[@peachesandcream.2612]

Kim Dalessandro - He just doesn't want you to make decisions for yourself. He wants to be in control all the time.

[@susanmarie8526]

Freedom is a sacred word

[@Dd-po2ij]

Yez

[@lanak12]

who the Son sets free is free indeed.

[@Jujitsuqueen]

You are helping me leave a narcissist.. thank you

[@CJG1419]

My parents were abusive thus I married a narc the first time around. Problem was I didn’t believe I had free will for a very long time. My mother had been hyper controlling and hyper critical. Not only did I have to battle first husband for autonomy but even more formidable, I had to battle myself. I couldn’t stay in that marriage and win. You have the narc pegged; He didn’t want me to have my own opinions, he wanted me to mirror his way of thinking and he certainly didn’t care about any dreams I had. He was a disgusting pig.

[@beautifuldayzee5942]

"He was a disgusting pig" - I think it helps for those of us who were married to or partnered with narcissists to understand that NPDs are emotionally immature (or, perhaps more aptly, emotionally STUNTED). They never reached an emotional maturity level above the age of between maybe 2 to 8 yrs old, depending on the individual. So in effect, we were basically married to a child. It's just not so easy to recognise that right away, because physically they are in full-grown ADULT BODIES. And that makes it very hard to reconcile the difference between what you see physically, and what's going on mentally, in their heads (that they're KIDS, and that they can only deal with life at the maturity level of a KID!). But once you understand you're dealing with a CHILD, an emotionally IMMATURE child - it becomes much easier to just cut the tie and run, and never look back. I've figured out there's no point in dwelling on what my narc was like, and what he did to me and my kids, and etc etc. Because I was married to a CHILD... and you don't hear people dwelling on how CHILDREN behave, because it's NOT ABNORMAL for very young kids to behave that way. ... they CAN'T CHANGE. It's not their fault they are the way they are, it's not like they had a choice in how they developed (or DIDN'T develop) as children. And it's not like they can somehow self-reflect and attain maturity.. because they CAN'T. That's a stage of child development, and they didn't make it to that stage ! And very young kids can't do that!! There's nothing 'deep' or mysterious about it, and nothing to beat ourselves - or THEM - up about. Now if they were fully emotionally mature adults, like the majority of us.... then yeah, different story altogether!

[@lilac624]

The saddest thing that happens in our society is that narcissists become parents...Narcissists can't parent effectively.

[@gdhhayes2129]

@@beautifuldayzee5942 having been raised by a covert narc of a mother, and married 17 years to a angry narc with violent tendencies, what you describe rings accurate. The one point I would argue is that while they are emotionally stunted, their brain, unlike that of a child, is fully developed, so to use the excuse (as my mother does, and my sister parrots to support my mothers bad behavior), "she's just a wounded little girl", is not right. I grew up a very wounded child having suffered physical, emotional and sexual abuse, all at the hands of my parents. I actually experienced FAR more abuse than my mother ever did, much of it at the hands of my mother, the rest as my mother stood by and did NOTHING to stop it, while fully aware it was taking place. However, with when "married happily ever after" turned out to be anything but, I began to look inward. I bought and studied many many self help books; I sought out councelors, I prayed, ALOT. In the process of it all I learned, and I grew as a person, and I began to find emotional healing. And in process I finally was able to emotionally, as well as physically, leave my first spouse, and my mother found she couldn't relate to me a anymore, apparently, despite my desire to still have a relationship with her, just one with healthy boundaries. Anyhow, my point is I believe in holding these kind of people accountable; I believe they can "grow up" and become healthier people. My experience suggests when they are given excuse not to, they won't, as they get a whole lot more attention by parading around their wounds and getting sympathy for them, instead.

[@CJG1419]

GDH Hayes you are correct. They can grow if they care to, the problem is most don’t. It’s their choice and they ARE accountable for what they do. I called my ex a disgusting pig because of his deliberate put downs and plain meanness. It’s really more accurate to say he’s pathetic but this video brought back some bad memories that obviously still haunt me. Good for you and pat yourself on the back for your growth!

[@latishalangley4670]

I was just crying about this yesterday. I'm 36 and I'm just now starting to learn to be me.

[@carlottaventi9556]

They are trying to make your decisions yet they are not the ones who have to deal with the consequences...

[@grannygear1001]

Carlotta Vent

[@aykaliu1130]

Very well said. I've encountered so many self righteous people. They seriously need to be taught a lesson.

[@carlottaventi9556]

Ya I know. They love that. I hope you´re back on track now!!! Much love and blessing :)

[@notyourfrind9415]

Thank you. That's always been the issue between me and my narc mom. Eventually I told her to eff off and go to hell. Obviously she went beserk, but I'm immune to her crap now.

[@lovelylace8132]

Thank you for this message. My daughter is going through a tough situation with a group of “friends” at school and one of the females is a narcissistic using her as supply. She’s getting all of her friends to come against her and today I had enough of it. I went to the school and told the counselor and had to report this matter. It is so sad that CHILDREN are evolving into such behaviors that I do not wish upon anyone’s child. Please pray for my Leila 🙏🏽

[@shellymichelle2719]

Lovely Lace This day and time of the very last days before Jesus returns I've even seen a couple of babies with an adult type bad attitude

[@jussaraarundel9953]

@anonymous the children are probably being raised by double income parents who have tight schedules, nannies, after school and holiday care. Such children are often put into all sorts of highly competitive extracurricular activities invented for privileged offspring. None of which really help children learn to develop good moral values & more socially adaptive behaviours. Whose actually raising this generation & imparting into children & adolescents minds...teen babysitters, underpaid busy childcare workers/numb school teachers... the irresponsible media ???!!! Who was the narcissist that decided a mother's work was so irrelevant, unvaluable & of no importance to society... & don't say it's the feminists fault... Devaluing women's work & contributions is an ancient game as old as time. At the root of it all is of course narcissism.

[@TheeKaylaMarieOne]

I wish my mother intervened! Well done on you and god bless 💕

[@lovelylace8132]

So we managed to break free from the school and my daughter is on her healing journey as well as all of is. It has been a divine intervention and a blessing definitely.

[@JEHOVAH485]

PLEASE remove your childen from these cesspools before something happens. You can homeschool them or they can be homeschooled online by the school district. Why, in God's name, do people subject their children to be terrorized and tormented?

[@nickykeightley9355]

Dr Carter.... I've watched your lectures and slowly, slowly, I'm starting to come out of the narcissist shadow. I'm exhausted, but every day, a little stronger. Thank you, Doctor.

[@daringgreatly8473]

Love it! Everyone is FREE to be who they want to be. It's doesn't matter if we agree or others disagree. There should be freedom in every relationship.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Narcissists like it when you tell them they have free will, it's just that they don't want anyone else to believe the same! LC

[@reginaargentin2864]

The worse relationship and experience of my life. Making sure I don’t make that mistake again. I feel I’m paying for it emotionally even though it’s been years.

[@paulmunro3175]

Yup, they will do that if you let them. It took me more than 2 months away from the job to decompress. I just couldn't under stand how my loyalty and service could be dismissed and disrespected. I wish that my hiatus from work was blissful, but it resulted in a lot of soul searching, awareness and, finally. resolve.

[@laraoneal7284]

I got out 20 years ago from my so called parents. Have not talked to them NOTHING. I can spot thes idiots a mile away. I don’t let these types in my life ever.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Sad, but I get it. LC

[@laraoneal7284]

Surviving Narcissism Thx for ur response. I just found out from a SRA MK ULTRA person who’s has a channel here on UT Her name is I believe Katy Groves She has 5 alters. Let me get to the point she countless vids on programming since an infant. First perpetrator was her father. I ve got a PhD on this topic by now. Long story short she says before u get into the deep study of mind control she says study MALIGNANT NARCISSISM. My jaw fell to the floor because I’ve been studying this for years. These NPD assholes are far more lethal than anyone is defining on these sites such as yours. I’m have not delved into your content do I don’t don’t know how deep ur content is. But what I’ve been learning my father was doing much deeper things than just the molestation as if that wasn’t bad enough. This woman’s videos are the most disgusting shocking things I’ve ever learned to date. There is a huge connection to child trafficking you name it but it is all tied to the narcissist mind disorder. Can’t say much more now too much info. This Katy is still in process of integrating her 5 alters into one but the knowledge she is giving are equivalent to classes on PhD level of learning. These malignant narcissists are evil to the core and they know exactly what they are doing. I can’t stress enough GET OUT .

[@laraoneal7284]

Surviving Narcissism Also check out NARCISSIST RESISTANCE. This content creator takes on content requests who have parents and other family members and boyfriends etc who are malignant narcissists he can barely handle the amount of requests he gets. He also shows videos of actual interactions between victim and malignant narcissist perpetrator. He also has audio tapes sent to him. Mindblowing stories. He also discusses the political psychopaths who are ruling our country and they are all minimally malignant narcissists. His name is Ollie Mathews. He’s lived this also. He discusses his parents and family of origin dynamic. Great profound information out there.

[@curli-lettey4319]

Lara O'neal Did the same with a narc mother, she told lies to other family members to help them go against me. Now she's dead and gone and those family members want to smile in my face like its nothing. I keep my distance from all of them and I am very comfortable and have peace of mind.

[@laraoneal7284]

curli-lettey Good for you. Yes they sabotage us in every way and our siblings just buy into whatever paradigm the parents set up so automatically we are the bad guy. I’m the oldest of 7 kids and the scapegoat and the only one who GETS IT. I had to stop all contact with my entire family, but yes no drama just peace.

[@claudettes9697]

Man, I love the quiet. Whew! Freedom is so quiet.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes! Dr. C

[@carolynsparks3714]

This is the reason I'm single..

[@gumbaroo]

185 narcissists have watched this video. Hi Mom!

[@wowsers7067]

Love this comment. Yes. Hi to my Mom too!

[@Unitalianomas-21]

gumbaroo 384 and counting...

[@chriscook2036]

gumbaroo. Awesome comment. It is now 353 narcissists.

[@MaxOakland]

😆

[@snoutysnouterson]

Hi to my mum also 😂

[@debrasilon7786]

You are the only one I have listened to who knows and understands what it's like . You are right on! Also, you speak in a way that people can understand. Your down to earth and your voice is calming. My life has not been the same since I encountered such a person.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Quite pleased! Dr. C

[@69eddieD]

"You can't have that thought" BINGO. It's becoming clearer all the time. Thanks, Dr. Les.

"THE DEVIL IS A LIAR"💯💯💯

[@thelightrevealstheplace6361]

Beloved Royalty That is EXACTLY it!!

[@tangerinefizz11]

Narcissists see the people around them (especially spouses and children) as extensions of themselves, hence their controlling ways and their intolerance of others' freedom.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You become their narcissistic supply...until you figure it out and stop playing their game. Dr. C

[@yellowbird5411]

I think one big reason people put up with narcissists is because they dread the punishment that comes with not "obeying" them. Narcissists never let you feel OK about anything you do, and they are quick to point out your character flaws, real or imagined. Violation of their control in big and little things brings abuse. People married to them or under their roof would often rather just keep surviving than leave. That is so sad, because at that point we become enablers to their behavior. They are not trainable, either. The only remedy is to get away and stay away, even with the echo of their berating you in your ears for your choice. I had to do that. It was ugly, but I cannot live with abuse, verbally or physically. I feel a thousand times better now.

[@thebigness71]

This is so accurate. I stayed for 11 years. Once I started doing things for myself she left. The problem is she took the kids and is turning my oldest son into a little version of her. She is completely unhinged.

[@un-diluted7444]

well said

[@agenaw2877]

I was with one for almost two years after about a year I saw a text from his ex and when I ask about the text and didn't believe his explanation the look in his eyes and the look on his face changed I'm paralyzed and in a wheelchair and he grabbed me by my throat shoved me up against the fireplace and started choking me (laughing the whole time he's doing it), beat me, flipped me and the wheelchair sideways, drug me across the floor by my hair, shoved his fingers in my mouth trying to stop me from screaming, he bit me trying to get me to drop the phone when I was trying to dial 911, put a gun against my head threatening to kill me if I screamed again. His mom and grandmother (his enablers) blamed me when he was arrested (at the ex's house where he was hiding out at), and were calling me a bitch and his grandmother said God was going to strike me down for doing this to him and she paid his bail once again. I'm hoping this will go to trial and he will get prison time. I found out afterwards from his mother that the police were called to his house all the time when he was married for beating his then wife so I'm not the first female he has put his hands on but I sure as hell plan on being the last. I'm hoping that he will FINALLY see that there are consequences to his actions and he's got to be held accountable for them.

[@SuperGingerBickies]

+Agena Biggerstaff … How truly awful! I felt sick reading your harrowing post about what you went through. |It is a well known fact that narcs consider vulnerable people as easy prey (I have invisible disabilities and am Autistic - by the way, my mother is a textbook narcissist and a nasty person to boot). I had two narc boyfriends but they were more mentally manipulative. As for that frigging horrible cowardly bastard lowlife oxygen thief that abused you - yeah! If he met his match, he'd be finished in jig time! There, I said it! Narcs pick on the vulnerable. At times you begin to ask yourself which is worse - the narc or the enablers? If anyone needs convincing that the d£vil and h£ll DOES exist, spend time with a narcissist. I hope you get lots and lots of support and healing from people who genuinely care for your welfare. Cut him off like a gangrenous toe! Narcs have a deranged, impaired conscience because they think they are it (with 'SH' in front of the word).

[@agenaw2877]

@@SuperGingerBickies I just found out that his attorney knowing I'd be real estate schedule a deposition for me and when I did not show she went to the judge and ask the IV excluded as a witness I'm not the witness I'm the victim so I don't understand that motion but it was granted they then said okay there's no Witnesses so we are making a motion to the court to dismiss all charges the judge granted it we are asking that everything be removed from his record the judge granted it then this one I don't understand why they asked but they said we want the no contact order dismissed the judge granted it I don't understand how a judge could dismiss everything there was no trial the judge never even heard my side of the story and everything he did to me or even met with a prosecutor if I spoke to a prosecutor it's because I called but I had never met with one. so that was another thing they were wanting me to go to a deposition with never even speaking to me they wanted me to go to the deposition with nobody there to represent me what the hell this is not over I am trying to contact all the news stations and have them go down and ask the main prosecutor how can I let this guy who put a gun against my head get away with what he did to someone who is paralyzed and couldn't fight back.

[@KL31NGR055]

Sadly I have come to realize, two years after my mom passed away, that she probably was a narcissist. She demanded obedience from me (even in my mid twenties) and would distance herself from me whenever I stated my position. She was clearly dissatisfied with my personality, behavior and perspective on life because it was not what she wanted from me. She wanted me to be someone else and it was obvious she wasn't accepting of who I am. Only after two years of her passing did I realize how painful it was to live under her contemptuous gaze and judgement.

[@AotO_DJ]

Do you think you have/had any psychological problems?

[@nddavi58]

same here

[@KL31NGR055]

@@AotO_DJ what do you mean? Caused by the relationship or separate from the whole situation?

[@rocketj2835]

@@KL31NGR055 I'm certain they're saying "As a result of this has it given you psychological issues?" the next person's "me too" is saying "My narc parent experience gave me lots of issues too" I'd add: Life is hard enough already but it's added this difficult and impacting parental narcissist to what I'm dealing with as a young adult. The grief of her death is hard enough to get over, without getting wounded by the dysfunctional relationship with her, that I'm dealing with, even up to this day. My life echoes yours in this way: my mom's death when I was 18, it was huge effort dealing with the loss. But before she died, she allowed herself to be driven into the ground by bonding to her narcissist & suicidal 2nd husband. It also caused me to runaway from them when I was just 15. Psychological problems for me as a result? I've had many from living with them. But those problems increased 100-fold from her suicide that she did 3 years after I left her. Now at 65 years old, and right up to this morning (like now!) where I'm probably losing yet another job, in a long line of narcissist bosses who target me. Her patterns of behavior still gives me psychological issues that shake me to the core of my being.

[@danielapolo7346]

My father does that

[@MrsTigerLady86]

Your channel is saving lives, I was hopeless for so long, thank you.

[@tamaramagdalene1000]

I used to be with a Narcissist and when I changed my spiritual life he went into a rage and was literally jealous of Jesus. I'm not even kidding. He treated Jesus as if He was a man I was having an affair with. AND I knew another Narc who wasn't even mine, a member of my family was dating this Narc and we were talking about how Jesus gets all the honor and this Narc stood up and said "I cant! I can't! I cant!" And ran off like a baby and jumped in their car and peeled out just because we said "Jesus gets all the honor" lol. This is how bad their jealousy gets and their pathological need for control.

[@genuinefralwaysmichael721]

Omg that's some crazy stuff!!!!! Sounds familiar, though. When I told my spouse, "Your ego is way too big," the angry reply to me was.... "I DON'T HAVE AN EGO!!!!!!!! IT'S GOD WHO HAS AN EGO; HE EXPECTS US TO WORSHIP HIM." So now apparently God is an egotistical being? Wow. NARCISSISTS FEEL FREE TO PASS JUDGMENT ON EVERYONE INCLUDING GOD!

[@a.y.7738]

Jealous of Jesus? Envious because you love the Lord with all your heart and NOT acknowledging him as your God? I have to admit that made me chuckle. Narcs are threatened that you have the capacity to love big time. They are going to freak out opon meeting Him. They will realize how toxic and selfish they are/were in the Lord's presence without the Lord saying a word. Narcs know they cannot compete with something greater than themselves.

[@SharonOBrienMusic]

Thats the demons in them that can't deal with the truth...and trying to keep you from it...dont go near a guy unless he has jesus traits by their fruit you shall know them, by their actions and how they treat others. Stay safe God bless and be with you X

[@FlawlesZMa]

good you are not with him anymore..the name of Jesus is powerful he is real and alive, he is the king of kings and Lord of Lords and the devil knows and the demons and they hate the name of Jesus and Him being glorified so it is spiritual..keep praising Jesus and living for Him!

[@AnnInFL]

The demon(s) possessing or influencing the narcissist could not tolerate worship of Christ. Satan's response to God is that of the rebel, "I will not serve!"

[@caracopland710]

Your the lovely father that's full of wisdom for all us lost women. Thankyou x

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Received, with gratitude. Dr. C

[@jwrobin21]

When you are giving more than you are taking, IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY.

[@DeniseLaFranceCDNpainter-z9g]

Very good video. Free will. It's true. We have the right to our autonomy. Narcissists' *attempted* oppression of others due to their gross false sense of entitlement & boundary-ignoring is unjust. Narcissism is always a choice &... ❇ *so is No Contact* ❇ (fire a narc today!) 💪

[@goodgracious6364]

Yep, we need that on a T-shirt. Something to the effect: "Fire Your Narc Today!" or "Warning: You Have Now Entered a Narc-Free Zone!" LOL

[@misottovoce]

Good ideas! However, we know that Narc refers to a narcissist but to the public it can mean a person addicted to narcotics. I suggest a byline in smaller print under it: Victims of Narcissists for Free Will! ;-)

[@goodgracious6364]

@@misottovoce - Right On!👏

[@mishaanton5436]

misottovoce : or overcommers of... survivor of.. i for one: thrivers annonymous !

[@katiemartell6520]

Hi, I just listened to an Indian doctor of psychiatry today (have forgotten her name) says narcissism is not a choice. Often, the person gets a lot of praise as a child (over indulged) then a bit later, the fame is gone and the narcissism erupts. Not criticizing because I don’t have a great understanding of narc, but it really isn’t a choice. A skilled psychiatrist can work with aspects of the disorder, however, to help certain aspects of it, to bring it under control, like a cold personality,

[@ingejustavanderhelm5208]

The bird is sitting on the floor of the cage. The door is open, the bird could fly away. But the bird stays on the floor of the cage. Frozen.

[@barbaraletson8315]

The bird has been told that its wings are worthless. Told so many times it has no strength, no beauty. The bird must close its ears to the dischord of the Narc. And listen hard for its own song again. Beautiful.

[@ingejustavanderhelm5208]

@@barbaraletson8315 ... at night, when the big bird sleeps, a kind evening breeze carries a beautiful melody... where does this song come from? ;)

[@middlewoman247]

Perfect analogy

[@wolfgang7812]

The bird needs to start to flap its wings.

[@miminewmoon8187]

Inge j : I love your bird/cage/ door analogy. "Freezing" is so common and a behaviour of mine I found confusing in retrospect - always took it as "acceptance". It's trauma bonding / a survival technique - not acceptance at all.

[@ClueSign]

Having a narcissistic parent can destroy you for life.

[@ambersafdar1772]

Absolutely true

[@lilac624]

True

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad does this, I quit dealing with his crap; no contact is the only way to escape living in fear of the narcissist. No-contact with him is working!

[@KweenBriii]

The Dog’s freedom was a very well developed analogy. Thank you for this!

[@chelseamacintosh5291]

So many Narcissistic lectures are negative. I love the way you are explaining how we all have freedom. Had I found your video years ago I would have been a much happier person. It makes me realize that I didn’t have to be a victim nor do I have to be a victim in the future!

[@ambersafdar1772]

True

[@godswarrior1239]

Amen to that! We are free to roam about the country! Have our own thoughts, likes and dislikes, and can make choices and decisions in spite of what the narcopath wants!! Go us!!!

[@tiffanypersaud3518]

Chelsea MacIntosh, THIS, YES!

[@Iulia958]

Yes my sister - every time when I wanted something with my life/house/child and wasn’t at her demands, or at her wishes she was starting her greatness of making it bad! Thank you for these videos, reminding me why I went no contact- reminding me why I had to save my sanity, even if is my sister!

[@1bigreddog1]

I call the control he tries to have over me “the Dumbing Down of Me”!!! Little does he know how transparent he is!

[@treaty8631]

The problem is when you have kids and they know that your not in a good financial place that's when they get abusive. Nonetheless one must leave because otherwise your constantly living around their needs and never yours.

[@justagirl6324]

I was married 5 years I hed 3 kids with this narcissist and 7 months ago we was going through a lot of money problems he wanted all of us to move to California with his mom I said why would you go back to your abuser I said no you are not taking my kid's there well he took 2 of my children with him I have not heard any thing from my kids I don't know what he did or is doing to them

[@treaty8631]

@@justagirl6324 sounds like you need to go to the authorities because you've never agreed to this. You need a court order.