Thank you so very much Dr. C! I'm forced to live with a psychotic sadistic narc bf. I csn no longer tolerate but can't afford to move out! I exhausted all options for solutions for ways out, but sadly my only "family" are 2 evil marc siblings I'm done with for life and at 72, bo options to escape this monster's abuse. Thank you so much for your excellent videos. GOD bless you;

They show me in more than subtle ways that i am unimportant, not equal, and a nuisance in their lives. Every time i pull away, they try to show love all of a sudden. But its always on their time, on their terms. I listened to their criticism for years until one day i realized they are absolutely not actively working on themselves or how they treat people... so what was all that self help advice they gave me? So confused.

This is so empowering. Navigating toxic organizational power dynamics…

Why would you want to drive a narcassist crazy, do you have a death wish?!

You CHOOSE your behavior. Narcissism is a choice.

Sad is so right. Absence of love..... Thanks, Doc.

I so appreciate your voice of reason, Doc. Thank you. Detaching from depravity. Priority to my own health. Radical acceptance and knowledge of what I am dealing with. Dignity, Respect, Civility..... and Peace.

instead of you having your own opinion they make up their own narrative about their partner.

One I know LOVES chaos. I am to the point of trying to be invisible (I can do it for all intensive purposes) so that there is no talk, so I don't help my customers with "whatever you do use this way to submit a ticket" as one will make sure to do it the other way. Case in point: They did it wrong. Delays happened. They got someone else to help them, and I stayed out because last time the three of us connected I heard the narcissist was "very upset" that I helped them. So, I did a peace out, "sounds like you got this" last Friday. I warned the other tech the last time, and I hope she gets it, but if not I did due diligence. Any attention is good attention? It's hard to aim for the center, chaos is EASY.

Their internal chaos always has an effect on YOU!

Thank you for reaffirming,that I made the right choice, years ago. Not that I doubted it. I am on team healthy with boundaries

Good grief there sure are a lot of miserable marriages out here

This is why remaining single is the best idea-never know when u might meet up w one of these demons til it’s too late

❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Lets forget the dog stuff, they will like anyone that feeds them😮

Everyone wants to sell a book😮

🙏

They love to make u feel bad.

❤❤❤

Thank you for sharing this.

My snarc will admit it but acts like he can’t do anything about it … how about TRY? Sorry, but with zero effort on his part, it sounds to me like he’s a victim of his own twisted thinking. Rather a buzz kill!! 🤣🙌🙏🏻❤️

There is no communication what so ever. They love causing hurt anger and confusion in their target. The more you plead and beg them to communicate the more they keep their mouth shut. You become their puppet and they are the puppeteer. You beg. They ignore. It feels like you’re being stabbed in the heart. The only way to “win” is to not engage. Once you do that’s it

This is so inspiring. My mind has been consumed with thoughts of him. It's been 6 months since he left, and the pain feels like a physical ache. The laughter, the memories, the adventures they're all gone. I've tried to distract myself, but the harder I try, the more I think about him. How do people truly move on? The memories are still so vivid, and I miss him more than words can express.

Abusers listen to this and dig their heels in. Les akways misses how they twist things.

My ex had a secret thing going on with our sons behind my back. For years I never knew what he was saying and doing behind my back. When my sons started being abusive to me, friends and family convinced me to leave him. And some of the boys opened up to me. It's been a nightmare.

I have this same issue. I can be too analytical. Thank you so much for making this video! I needed to hear all of this!

Indeed

So true Thank you ❤❤❤❤

I will be experiencing an angry, stonewalling narcissist soon. My dad is in poor health and I will be inhereting his house. My husband is already trying to take the power stance over my future finances. When he doesn't get his way, I will get the "you owe me" speech. Im ready. Thank you for that, Doctor Carter!

I have lived with my spouse for almost 30yrs. We have recently discovered that he is autistic. From the beginning of our marriage I have told him he was hurting my feelings. He never once apologized for this. This occurred daily. He has recently changed his behavior and I am more angry with him than ever. Why not 20yrs ago. His behavior towards me has been very narcissistic. He still doesn’t understand why I’m angry. That even though he is trying and seems like he can change he has no clue why I’m pissed. 30 yrs of hurting me. I always called him on it and tried to get him to understand. He would refuse to listen to what I had to say. Brushing me off.Healing takes time and I don’t really trust him. I have no intention of letting him not feel some pain. Yes forgiveness will happen in time but right now it just feels like laying down and letting him walk on me will cleats.

I appreciate this description of forgiveness and believe I can put it into practice with my emotionally abusive ex. However, and for me this is a big however, this is NOT how I was trained from childhood to think of forgiveness so it's a very hard switch to make. I was taught that if I did something to hurt someone else, I should say, "I'm sorry for _________________. Can you please forgive me?" Then the other person would lovingly and graciously say, "Yes, I forgive you," and you would hug and be friends again. My ex never took responsibility for how he harmed me or our children, nor would he ask for my forgiveness even now. Most people who ask whether I can forgive him hope that we can reconcile or at least make nice and "let bygones be bygones." That hurts my heart even though we divorced more than two years ago.

Your information is medicinal. The better part of my life I knew the perspective on how I was being treated was nothing short of corrupt. I was so alone. The perspective you , and others like Dr. Ramani and others have brought to my experience of life have given me a lot of strength. I understand what is up, and knowing I’m not alone in this mess is of incredible support. I grew up being affected by these behaviors towards me, plus abuse, so it has always been hard to stand up straight. Thank you for being there! M

Thank you! I'm grateful to have come across this video at just the right moment. Loved the concept of a "psychological limp" ❤ unlike so much content one might come across on KZbin, this author doesn't sugarcoat things and doesn't give false hopes

Thank you for these words 🙏

Thank you Dr Carter. This is just what I needed to hear today. Radical acceptance. I am learning that I can’t change him nor can I make him happy. It doesn’t do any good to bring up anything with him. He only gets angry and lashes out with things that don’t even pertain to the subject at hand. I always regret having said anything. Gray rock and accepting it is best.

What definitely dissipated every doubt I had about me or her being the problem is the following: In a situation where there is an abuser and an abused, guess who has the better situation, and who has the worse? Simple as that. Why did it take me so much time?

The psychological limp and me accepting it was going to be there was the thing that spurred me into a new phase of healing. Not as a victim, but acceptance of me and who I am today. I am flawed and compassionate and have discovered other things. Sometimes my limp gets in the way and it's frustrating. So now I try to make friends with it and others traits I reject. I believe radical acceptance is a process and it evbs and flows. That's because I am human. Thanks Dr. C!

I'm not sure about contempt. If I see a snake I might feel fear and that feeling is part of keeping away from it. The way the narcissist basically poisons all good things, I'm not sure if it's contempt or disdain that I feel, but it's part of keeping me away from it.

Love the statement Don't Breathe they hate that! Sooo True! Love you for saying that ; going to be my Armor! ❤😊

Im getting a notebook and writing stuff down! I never heard of these lifestyle of people 71 and married to a 78 year old odd. And babyfied! Prayers please cause not divoice him to old to go thur that! But praying and coping ! So glad Jesus is my help ! 😊😊

Ive left, radical acceptance took a while but in my head i know its the right thing, i do not grieve my time with the narcissist, i do however struggle with the grieve of the “promised future” the time lost to that person… this too shall pass. I have to except that my ongoing divorce will not have a fair outcome, because the law is not geared to deal with Narcissists.

Pay attention to how their loved ones treat you and feel about you. Its not coming from nowhere.

radical acceptance could be radical rejection

I baited them with a "dark secret" and they immediately went and told someone else and used it to make that person feel insecure. It was astounding how fast it happened 😂 The good deeds were confusing me so I tested their character to make sure i wasn't crasy. They will never pass the character test. Goodbye and good riddance!

Once you realize that them being them is their own brokenness.. you understand it's them NOT you... You've separated.. dealt with smear campaign.. forgiving yourself by healing.. obtaining emotional keys to level up.. and then the gift is seeing the distinction in not playing in the dance..they want you to be flipping it to you being the aggressor and the narcissist views themselves as the victim... Stop playing. Being happy is the best way and to get secure attachment

what a great title for a video. Can't wait to watch this.

Thank you for specific concepts with examples including: : radical acceptance. 10:21 respect free will.

i equate truth with freedom. if someone hurts me: why would i ever keep it a secret ? lol i will never protect ab*s*rs. never. & if they were happy enough to hurt me, & feel good about it: then let me show & tell everyone else what you were so proud of doing lmao, weakness thrives in the dark. because they count on nobody calling them out, or seeing them for who they are. it's fun to shine light on a demon & watch it writhe :) thank you kindly Dr. C.

Been 1.5 years no contact with narc. Still hope for contact since he is in therapy and I hoped he would get better. I also got out early. But this week suddenly realized he cannot make a commitment and this I never could have a solid relationship.

Took me 10 years to finally admit it to myself. I knew all along but didnt want to believe it. They will MAKE you believe it. Run away the FIRST time, please.