The part that WOMEN always LEAVE OUT: why this messes with men's heads

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The part that women always leave out refers to the responses of women to the question: "what are you looking for in a man?" These responses are typically a litany of positive character attributes: someone kind, someone loyal, someone family-oriented. However, women always leave out a very important part to their responses, and it's this omission that can really mess with men's heads. I'll explain what I mean in this episode.
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#dating #attraction #women

[@barneyboy2008]

If she is attracted to you, you won't have to do anything. If she isn't attracted to you, there is nothing you can do.

[@Adam-yd8dw]

Blackpill

[@ishyameru6232]

Fact

[@Torgo1969]

Short and sweet.

[@mortalkomment8028]

Ok. This is cynical philosophy, wisdom and empirical evidence. Very true. BUT: you can become more attractive.

[@hangukhiphop]

Nah, there's plenty you _can_ do, at least for temporary results. The real question is whether you _should_ do anything, and to that I say hell naw.

[@MbogaTatu]

In other words, attraction is like a pre-employment drug test. Once you fail it, it doesn’t matter how good your resume is; you’re out.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Is that not true in the other direction too though? Or will men just fuck anything?

[@smerdopsis6092]

good analogy cause talking to lot of women feels like they are interviewing you

[@bigneiltoo]

Not just pre-employment, they regularly do random testing at "work".

[@bigneiltoo]

@@smerdopsis6092 What gets me is how you can meet a girl and have her say "Wow! You're really handsome." and you can have a few encounters like that by chance, and then one night when you make out, and then instead of being sweet like girls in the 1990s hang-out-hook-up girl would be (forget 1980s shacking up), she hits you with a laundry list of demands. I can't even get through a few texts usually.

[@nateo200]

DAMN now THAT is a brutal analogy!

[@mikesecor6074]

been married 48 years. About 10 years ago, she said, well, I guess we're stuck with each other. lol. This was out of the blue. Never assume your woman, or wife, is not thinking about other men, even if you're older. Never assume if you are a good father, have a stable life, home etc., that she is not thinking something that may shock you. It never ends.😯 However, I told her, if she wants to leave, there's the door. Even after 48 years.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Wylee Coyotee is right, but seriously, do you really never daydream about shagging someone different? We are horny primates after all. It's ok and doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

[@RespectMyAuthoritaah]

You Sir, are a man! I am not worthy. That was the only response to such nonsense.

[@genxer74]

Exactly, I don't want her around if she doesn't want to stay--and would be totally content never finding or having another woman in my life. But I'm keeping the kids.

[@kellygreenii]

Something tells me she stayed….

[@paddington1670]

i guess were stuck together, what a stupid callous thing to say

[@gyrsriddle]

“A man marries a woman hoping she’ll never change. A woman marries a man hoping to change him…inevitably both are disappointed “

[@Hammerdak]

@@gyrsriddle …I was going to post the same thing.

[@janinejohnstone468]

Nope. The woman simply marries the person the man has been acting up to look like. When she is 'caught', the man relaxes and becomes his real self. Your insistence that a woman wants to 'change' a man is in error; she merely expects the product she's been sold.

[@GA-Vic]

Yes because they don't understand Love. They are attracted to each other by shallow looks(and fleeting desires!) Infatuation fades. They get angry at one another because their pre conceived ideas, invariably get shattered, then since both are non committal, they give up and continue to pointlessly seek out someone else, like an ant, roving the city park for the stale crumbs from a pick-nick!😒🐜

[@lauramc4fun]

A well adjusted woman realizes she can't change anyone but herself and marries a man she doesn't need to change.

[@justaride1366]

The opposite happened to me. I got together with him hoping he would never change, but he did. I was VERY clear who I was, and what I'll accept, but he thought I would change. I won't.

[@joebidet1330]

Don't listen to what women say Watch what they do

[@alyssawoodman]

Yeah or watch what anyone does not what they say

[@joeskeptical4762]

*They wait for Chad, Tyrone & Ray Ray to approach, then they bang.*

[@sammyb1651]

@@alyssawoodman Video is about women in case that wasn't astoundingly obvious.

[@jonahtwhale1779]

No women believe they can change the man they have chosen. That is why the Beauty and the Beast story resonates so well with women. They will choose an attractive POS guy but believe he will change for her, because she is so special. Then she will be hurt when he acts like a POS!

[@raymundhofmann7661]

What women and basically humans say is what they primary think will benefit them in their current situation. According to psychometrics, women score higher in the trait neuroticism. This means you surely won't hear from them about their not so politically correct or inconvenient motives, and everyone has those, more or less, as they fear to get ostracized for that.

[@USSResolute]

Women want attractive men to be better men. Most quality men lack physical/financial attributes that make them attractive to women. I had a female friend 10 years ago who told me once "I wish I could find a guy like you." I told her it was the most offensive thing a woman ever told me because I was like me but she would never date me. I told her "What you really want is the men that you date to be like me, but they don't have to because you will date them without those facets." She was upset, but she knew I was correct.

[@oldnatty61]

On target! Men stop trying to figure out a women. Stop giving up your power. It's time for them to figure us out.

[@BOG0690]

Haha. It's like telling the fat chicks to lose some weight and maybe a guy can stifle his vomit long enough to take you out in public

[@assplundah]

Nailed it!

[@patienceobongo]

@@oldnatty61 a womans mind changes before during and after periods.

[@froyokid]

Why are you offended that your friend doesn’t want to date you? You’re FRIENDS! Unless you were trying to be sneaky and faking the friendship to sleep with her?🤨 if you didn’t want to be just friends in the first place, leave her alone.

[@jimbo1637]

The best way I've heard it explained is this: When women give dating advice, they are giving you advice on how to make a woman who already finds you attractive see you as a viable long-term partner. They answer like this because picking your favorite from a group of men who are already attracted to you and then trying to get him to commit is what dating is for women.

[@2639263926392639]

Jimbo... thank you. That makes complete sense. (Editted for spelling)

[@leviswranglers2813]

That is a beautifully true insight and excellently worded! Pure poetry my man!!

[@mediocreman2]

I read that twice. Very true. They don't understand that the majority of guys don't have that options they do. So that makes sense they would never understand that we might be interested in someone that's not immediately interested in us.

[@RobertMorgan]

Women, here's the car lot, pick any car you want! Men, here's your issued car. Don't complain, be happy you get a car at all, most men get nothing.

[@enloveyduvey001]

DUH! what is dating like for men? are you guys doing the reverse?

[@lewis20002000]

So true Doc, an ex of mine had a baby with a guy about 10yrs ago, her business. I was living on the other side of the country. Last year I was visiting and she mentioned we should get married. I told her I am not going to marry you bc the guy your really want is the baby daddy(the guy left her pregnant to raise the child and was in jail, during an 8yr stretch, they were back and forth), he just wasn't doing the things she wanted him to do. I told her, I am just the guy you feel safe with and can provide financial support. She didn't like that, but I didn't say it to put her down, I said it to be honest and stop her from thinking I am ever going to reconsider.

[@BreezeeGreenz]

Oof. What an insult. Men who find themselves in that provider/beta/friendzone/second choice situation should take it as an insult because that's what it is. It's always an insult and nothing less. No cap.

[@alexmuenster2102]

>>I told her, I am just the guy you feel safe with and can provide financial support.

[@serviceadvisormaxbyservice916]

And she'll divorce you shortly after and take ya sh!t!! @@alexmuenster2102

[@mushrifahmed8107]

I feel really happy that you told her that. Too many women nowadays are completely oblivious of the things they say and do. They say and do really shitty things and they don't even bat an eye. They dont even think how rude and horrible they are being to the other person. I realized that the reason for that (at least in my country) is the fact that desperate guys have buttered these girls soo much that they have an over-inflated ego. But I'm not like most of those guys, I have self respect, I can get girls and I am not desperate to get in their pants. So whenever these girls say/do something that's not ok, I call them out. But I'm a villain in their eyes because no one else calls them out on their shitty hypocrisy, arrogance, rudeness, etc. etc.

[@Ka_Gg]

Serious question. Why are you even hanging out with her? I assume you are hooking up with her, but just hanging out with her, visiting...no thanks.

[@CarrinaCarrillo]

If a woman is not attracted to you, don't waste your time on her. Indeed, oddly enough, ignoring her and going your own way is the only chance you have with her.

[@rampart64]

Like pushing on a string, the art of letting go.

[@alaalfa8839]

Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid. And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things. Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.

[@alaalfa8839]

Women probably have similar problem that they usually think that the nice, polite and goodlooking one, is already dating someone else or is married. So its almost the same problem. That their confidence is also very limited and The women who have some moral compas wouldnt want to take the guy from other woman….. After all she even may be glad that such good guy has a nice person by his side….and that some harmony in the world exists.. Of course we have to differentiate women in few categories. 19 years old may have completelly different point of view than 35 years old woman. 20 years old doesnt know yet what she is looking for, the looks or the character or other qualities. It seems the 35 years old realises that the guy should also have a poetic side of personality, liking some nice music, going to theater or Opera, helping the neighbor in need, or things like that…. The poetic side is very attractive, though some people dont realise it, because televission rarely shows poetic side of people. They usually show expensive houses and cars, but not the really nice things. And if a father wants to help his daughter to find the guy with a character and with a poetic side of personality, its his choice, but maybe the father also should show some of his humorous side and say it with humor, or say it poetically…… So the daughter will feel it not with her brain but with her heart. Scientists found out that heart is much smarter than brain. Heart is not about logic. As Deepak Chopra says Love is irrational wisdom of the heart. They found out that electric field of the heart is 100 000 times bigger than electric field of brain and magnetic field of heart is 5000 times bigger than magnetic field of brain. So heart is much more powerful, even though human brain tries to solve everything with logic.

[@julieryan8179]

goes both ways.

[@CarrinaCarrillo]

@@alaalfa8839 The problem for women is that they do NOT go for the nice, polite, good, and decent man. If they did, women would have no problems with men. Women make knowingly horrible choices when it comes to men and then complain about men in general. I am a black woman and I see this constantly. You put a woman in a room with 99 good men and one rat bastard, the woman will leave the room with the rat bastard every time.

[@prschuster]

I'll make it simpler. Be the best person you want to be, and if a woman doesn't find you attractive, forget about her and move on, because she isn't your type anyway.

[@vicshephard9231]

It really is that simple.

[@ericbush6124]

And you are the Winner

[@YasminMahnaz]

That WHT I was saying.. all these guys whiny here... women have do same. Lose weight.. Fri fit... look nice des better etc etc etc

[@sriharshacv7760]

The subset of men they are 'attracted' to is 1 out of 10 or less.

[@ileanaprofeanu7626]

and it works both ways! win-win

[@joncarbone]

Very well said. Women will often say a man is a 'jerk' or something like that after sleeping with him and getting ghosted. She hooked up because he was attractive to her. Had nothing to do with character.

[@kellygreenii]

The problem is that women will often get turned inside out because they try (sometimes for years) to “change” a man that they are physically attracted to into someone with the character traits they want..and it never works. Rather than picking the most attractive man they can find who ALREADY has those traits. It’s why men say-when wome complain, “where are all the good men?”-either “with the good women” or “In your friendzone”.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Hooks ups are different than seeking relationships though. Sometimes women just wanna get laid too. Or we rush in sexually when it would be smarter to slow shit down. Just about everyone does that.

[@kellygreenii]

@@Captain_MonsterFart Yes. But men are open about the fact that the women they simply want to sleep with are not the same as those they’ll consider marrying. Women too often seem to try to turn the men that they want to sleep with into being the kind of man they want to marry…and that never ends well.

[@nicholasbogosian5420]

But she also never said she slept with him because of character.

[@popejaimie]

Nothing in your example suggests she's wrong for thinking he's a jerk. Women say men are jerks when men are jerks. Like I don't get what you're saying here

[@robertjohnston8876]

The guy a woman is attracted to is directly related to her relationship with her Father Don’t chase them. Enjoy your life. Be independent, and dont ever rescue a woman from her circumstances. Don’t ever marry a narcissist I learned all this the hard way. ..and if you think being single is lonely, try a bad marriage😒 There are a lot of gold diggers out there.

[@brightlight7181]

I learned about the narcissist the hard way as well...

[@victorlewis3251]

Too late for me. All I ever do is try to rescue women. It NEVER works. The more a man gives, the more a woman takes and the less she likes you. I always thought that I was being a gentleman. Lol. I was just being a doormat. Period. Women are Trump in panties....too much and never enough. Says a lot about me that I always end up with damsels in distress. If a woman asks you for even $5.00, that´s your signal to cut and run. Men, have YOU ever asked a woman for money? Neither have I.

[@rpersen]

The only thing worse than feeling alone, that is wishing you were alone.

[@NaturalBornQuiller]

I married a model. It lasted less than 18 months. I wanted it to end much sooner than that. 26 years later she is still trying to ruin my life Narcissists are EVIL and want complete and total control If you deny them that control they go crazy

[@paulw5039]

Narcissistic behavior in men = default behavior in women.

[@1monkey1typewriter]

I figured this out in my youth because what women were saying seemed contradictory to what they wanted. Once I realized that women were not saying, "these qualities makes a man attractive", but that attractiveness was such a basic prerequisite that they didn't even think of mentioning it, it all came together.

[@billgreen576]

Indeed. How many people, when asked what they want out of life, list oxygen first.

[@ThomasFoolery8]

@@billgreen576 I don’t think you two are cynical enough. It isn’t that attraction is so basic they forgot to mention it. Attraction is basic for men too and they mention it first on the list. It’s that women want respect they don’t deserve. So they want to maintain the illusion of being the more ethical and less shallow gender, while still being just as shallow as men. Interestingly, this makes them worse than men, because while they’re equally shallow, women are more dishonest.

[@SirAuron777]

Qualities don’t make a man attractive, being attractive makes the qualities attractive

[@Mrfinch9999]

Worse, those are excuses and rationalizations, not what they want. They get with hot men who do not have any of the traits they ask for all the time.

[@rey82rey82]

Attractive guys get the prize within hours of meeting her

[@willia451]

Women get married thinking he will change but he doesn't. Men get married thinking she will never change. But she does. All the best, gentlemen. And be careful out there.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Ha, that's a great way to put it!

[@guyaldrich5878]

That is so true !

[@aafgahfah]

Each is inevitably disappointed

[@piman9280]

My wife and I have been married for 56+ years, and you have just *perfectly* described our union!

[@edwardmylnychuk5774]

like i always say, when the ring goes on the finger it goes through someones nose, one or the other and usually the women becomes a bitch and men become simps because once a child comes into the picture things change drastically.

[@ThisTall]

Ask any woman over 25 what she wants in a man, and she’ll describe a man she’s turned down for 10 years. And leave out how money brings the odds of any man to 90+%. Ask her what she hates about men and she’ll describe the only kind of guy she’s been attracted to without money.

[@RespectMyAuthoritaah]

Nailed it. I salute you.

[@diehard1450]

Amen.

[@ethosterros9430]

The irony is those men exist exclusively because of her choices.

[@leedirtybriches]

💯

[@FORAIR]

Because that's what women do.

[@supermonkey321]

This is absolute truth. Take it from me. I'm not swimming in women, but within the last year, I have received attention from far more women than I ever did in 41 years previously (I'm 42). I've always been told that I am very kind, sweet, considerate, and generally wonderful by women who just wanted to be my friend or by the few ex-girlfriends I've had when they broke up with me. Women absolutely loved me, but always platonically. The biggest change I've made in the last year is that I have been going to the gym. I'm in the best shape of my life now (which isn't saying much, really, as I have literally never before been in good shape), and have a long way to go to be anything near "jacked." And yet, just being in decently good shape has made a world of difference. As I get into better and better shape, I attract the attention of increasingly attractive women,. It's pretty straight forward. Get more attractive, and you can attract more attractive women. I should include that one other change I made is that I dress a bit better. Being in better shape makes pretty much all clothes look better on you, but it also lets you wear some things that just wouldn't look good at all on an out-of-shape body type. I don't know shit about fashion, but I usually send a photo to one of my female friends to ask if I should buy a shirt or jacket or something before I buy it. Very useful feedback. I'm also bald and 42, so those are big negatives against me that I can't do a whole lot about, but even with that, 3 of the 5 women I've gone out with in the past year were between 28 and 30 years old (the other two were 35 and 38), and all of them were in good shape and ranged from very cute to hot. I was also the one who ended up rejecting them, which was a position I've only ever been in a few times before, having usually been the one rejected. So the moral of this long story is this. GO TO THE GYM! And you should also probably dress better. You WILL see results if you put in the work. And one more thing; how much money I make never even came up with any of them. They cared more about me than what I made... because they were attracted to me. It really is the most important thing. Women aren't that different from men in that way.

[@chrisw7347]

Thanks for the inspiration-- In a similar position to you(38 now) and I'm going to try to replicate your exact results in the next few years. I get attention from women any time I'm in shape, I'm tall and broad, but I was raised without a dad so I'm lacking that certain masculine quality and they smell it. I struggle with people pleasing but I have to figure out how to see them as inferior to me or something like that. I've had girlfriends though, so I guess it's not absolutely critical that I get any of this perfect. Any advice from someone like you who has made a dramatic change would be appreciated.

[@Ekam-Sat]

Yes. So what will happen when you get old and you are no longer in good shape or you get sick?

[@toddkurzbard]

EXCELLENT advice that I will take to heart.

[@TheBlueDogMan]

I agree with going to the gym and staying in shape. I’m 65 years old and still work out and per my Workout partners I look about 50. I’ve always been skilled at mechanical and carpentry things. I never been macho, but I’ve always been masculine and it’s worked well for me and women. Also name be sure she’s got the kind of heart and character you want. Her looks won’t last forever either so you damn well better like her.

[@srt8turboawdjeep146]

@@chrisw7347 These women you mention are nearing the WALL or are well past it, their clock is screaming to get a mate so now they are interested when b4 not so much. Take advantage and play the field, venture into younger women and hope you find what you are looking for, or go passport bro to avoid western feminism.

[@ContrarianExpatriate]

I've noticed this in women for decades. They tend to virtue signal and say "looks are not important and that personality is everything." Yeah right.... I learned long ago that to understand women, do not focus on what they say. Focus on what they DO or what the respond to. Often what they do (or respond to) will differ hugely from what they say.

[@andersnielsen6044]

Psst... It is the same story with men.. It is actually called human nature. ;)

[@kerrymillar1267]

Same as men then, attraction is very powerful and not logical.

[@patienceobongo]

@@kerrymillar1267 gay men.

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@ronmexico8383 A 9+ guy would never do anything sexual related to a 3 or 4 woman, ever. I almost vomit just to think about it!

[@antonsimmons8519]

Looks not being important is a hilarious lie. Even more hilarious is that so many men actually believe it. Any 6ft guy in decent shape can pull women like crazy, no game, charm, money, etc. needed. Women are 150% as shallow as they claim men are.

[@andrewcutler4513]

A few years back I was on one of those dating apps where they asked me a whole raft of questions about myself & what I was looking for. Then, over the course of a year, they sent my profile to those ladies who's answers to the same question seemed to suggest that we have the potential to be a "match". The front page to each profile was a picture, your location and age. Now I'm not Hollywood leading man material, but I do keep myself neat and presentable at all times. I probably received 100 "matches" over my year, and I took the time to open & read the lion's share of them (Not gonna lie; I'm a male, and visual stimulation IS a "thing" with males, so if you don't look like you give a darn about your health/appearance, well ...). And just how many of these ladies took the time to at least open/read mine? Less than five. So, ladies, DON'T try to sell me the "we only care about character" line.

[@salguodrolyat2594]

Character is the LAST thing they care about unless they can use your character to easily gaslight you.🤣🤣🤣

[@amylee9]

You reject women on how they look. They reject you on how successful you are. Seems fair.

[@andrewcutler4513]

@@amylee9 How can they know how successful I was - or even claimed to be - if they didn't bother to read my profile? - Hmmm.

[@EE12CSVT]

Of course they don't care about character. It's sadly always money. When they get to know me I can see them churning away at their mental calculator tmwhen they give me their questionnaire to find out from my lifestyle how much money I have and how much I earn so she can benefit from it.

[@blackhawk6695]

@@salguodrolyat2594 truth! I have lost a many women for having character!

[@sanekabc]

That is a great point. "Women want these qualities but from men they are already attracted to."

[@zehcnasmedia1016]

Exactly. They say they want one thing, but do the opposite. They are attracted to toxic players. Once they get their hands on one, they try to change them into the kind man they SAY they wanted. Obviously that doesn't work ever. Women then proceed to get stuck in this endless cycle, and eventually they grow resentful and start bashing and hating ALL men... even though their pain is entirely self inflicted

[@DeepFriedOddish]

@@zehcnasmedia1016 to be fair, would you date a woman who ticks all the right boxes, but is not attractive to you at all?

[@judithvorster2515]

@@DeepFriedOddish Exactly. What is revolutionary about the idea that a woman first has to be attracted to a guy before she will consider the factors that will make her want to stick with the dude long term? Important to note, though, that being attracted to a guy is _not_ the same as saying he has to 'be attractive' physically. Behing handsome of course is a help, but confidence, humour, style and intelligence can easily make up for not being particularly attractive.

[@BosonCollider]

@@DeepFriedOddish I did and it was an incredibly nice experience before covid cut it off. She had self-esteem issues and quietly always wanted a boyfriend that she could give a lap pillow to and feed with an aaah like in romance anime

[@babacalouche]

bingo...that's the main takeaway from all those videos...

[@CompassRoseGaming]

"You can be the nicest guy in the world, but you need to be attractive"- my sister

[@TheBlueDogMan]

And don’t ever be a nice guy. Be a good guy. When you try to be nice you let them put BS over on you just like if they’re too nice you tend to walk all over them. It’s been said several times in here if she’s not attracted to you, there’s nothing you can do about it. Spent on your heels and go look somewhere else because there’s millions of them out there. The same advice works for women looking for a good man.

[@indigocheetah4172]

So if you're like me with bat ears, and an overbite., and nice. I know that I am not attractive. Who is going to look at me?

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

@indigocheetah4172 Oh go on, every woman loves a vampire.

[@firstLast-jw7bm]

@@indigocheetah4172 I've seen all types with women of all attractiveness levels try to focus on maximizing what you've got (primarily for your own benefit) and then practice just asking out a lot of girls you might be interested in yes you will have a much lower success rate than Brad Pitt, but certainly not zero just make sure you don't ask out a few and then give up, treat it like playing poker, you need to play a lot of hands to get a reasonable statistical sample have a good one

[@Dusty-y6b]

Confidence goes a long way. If a guys confident, he doesn’t have to be the greatest hottie.

[@lgude]

As an old man I notice that men are attracted to women such that physical attraction usually comes before the character traits that men are also quite aware they want. I also have learned that both sexes are capable of maturing and in our current non traditional social arrangements sometimes find more mutually compatible partners. In traditional marriage where the partners were married for life they could sometimes manage to grow together into a mature relationship. But as we know, not always. Likewise today people can go through a series of relationships without learning much at all. Biology pushes us to reproduce on the basis of attraction, but perhaps both sexes are best served when they recognise that romantic love alone is pretty blind and mature love requires time and a lot of hard work and honesty.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Most sane comment in the whole section. Thank you for not being wicked.

[@thomass2125]

Marrying for love is a modern concept. That's why most old love stories were about royalty, because only royalty could afford the luxury of marrying for love. For the rest of society it was either about forging alliances amongs the nobility and merchant class. Or it was about making kids to help on the farm and take care of you when you were old and feeble amongst the lower classes.

[@louisw4390]

Amen Sir. Well said. Thank you very, very much.

[@popejaimie]

@@thomass2125 royalty were the least likely to marry for love, like how do you even think that lmao. Royalty exclusively married for political reasons lol

[@cinnabunning]

Appreciate the kind, wise, & thoughtful comment, sir 💛 relationships can be much improved with maturity by all parties

[@beuller7]

I’ll add one more subtlety… Very, very often - even if they’re not conscious of it - women want a man who’s been *pre-selected* by other women. That’s why, 9 times out of 10, it’s easier to get a girlfriend when you already have a girlfriend. Pre-selection is huge for women even if they don’t know it.

[@MzBunny2790]

The only reason women are attracted to you when you’re in a relationship, is because you’re confidence is now radiating. When you’re single and can’t get a gf, you come off as insecure and repelling. You’re more attractive when you feel attractive.

[@Adam-yd8dw]

@@MzBunny2790 some good points. I think both are true

[@allsystemsgootechaf9885]

@@MzBunny2790 nah its preselection. As soon as they see you with a girl or know you have a girl all of sudden they get curiosity like "oh whats he really all about?"

[@protox4]

It's interesting, because it's the same thing in the job market. It's easier to get a job when you have a job than when you don't.

[@MzBunny2790]

@@protox4 it’s the law of attraction. You get more of what you already have. When you have money, you’re not worried about it so you attract more of it or at least more opportunities to make more of it. The same applies to people and everything else in life. If you’re not harboring any strong negative emotions towards something, you become a magnet to it.

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

Bottom line, if she’s NOT attracted to you, it doesn’t matter if you possess every virtue ON THE PLANET!!!

[@jamesg1974a]

And it doesn’t matter if you’re a bum with no prospects. If she finds you hot and exciting that’s it.

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

@@jamesg1974a James, completely AGREE! I can tell you stories....

[@d3r4g45]

Yes. The error is the idealization, virtue etc. What she is doing essentially is selecting genes for her offspring. So very understandably she selects mostly on physical appearance.

[@lisathuban8969]

That's the same for men being attracted to women. You can be everything they want, but if your body does not appeal to them, forget it.

[@jasonsanders8091]

@@lisathuban8969 Agreed. Men do rate looks a lot. But women seem to rate both looks and wealth. They're just as turned off by obesity, lack of symmetry, and are even fussier about certain aspects such as height. The only thing they're more easygoing about is age difference. A minority of women can be attracted to older men. This is much rarer amongst men.

[@joetay8817]

The hold up is... that most women are not worth the risk. Let's say I put in all the extra effort to become what is considered "attractive" to women. I still have a 30-50% chance of her divorcing me, taking about half of all the stuff I earned... through all my efforts AND losing access to my offspring. Why not instead simply not play the game?

[@rockingredpoppy9119]

Sounds like your "stuff" has priority over any woman. That is the exact reason I divorced my last husband, he didn't make me his priority, rather his stuff was his priority.

[@joetay8817]

​@@rockingredpoppy9119 as it should be.

[@joetay8817]

​@Errantwarrior we don't care.

[@indigocheetah4172]

@@joetay8817 obviously.

[@kingadatoma]

What other game is worth risking/living for?

[@ldrake911]

“Don't try to understand women, women understand women and they hate each other." - Al Bundy

[@RespectMyAuthoritaah]

You can either love women or understand them. There is no two things at the same timings. LOL

[@latecheckout11]

@@RespectMyAuthoritaah or ignore them and they'll hate you.

[@horustrismegistus1017]

@Screw you guys, I'm going home *there is no "both, at the same time"

[@Shaharalyn1977]

I don't understand women and I am a woman. They go around putting bananas in exhaust piping smashing out their windows and trying to hit them with phone books I don't know wait a minute we don't have phone books never mind and they always want to start a fight physically but don't know what they but will but they claim they want to be equal they do unnecessary dramatic stuff and like you said they always want them good qualities but when they find a man like that he's not good enough so I'm not going to say all women but most women don't know what they want until it's too late and then they 40 plus wondering why they still single. But you can't tell them that cuz they get wrong blah blah blah

[@handsomeX]

I'm wearing my "no ma'am" shirt while reading this 🤣

[@seventhson27]

My first divorce really messed me up. I did a lot of hanging out in this "Country Western" ("Billy Bob's," "Urban Cowboy") place. It was either that or sit around my apartment and go stark raving. I learned to dance. Travolta had nothing on me. I decided I was going to figure out "what is wrong with me?" and fixe it. I would ask women (more than once) "What do you want in a man?" They would answer "I want this and this and this," I would go "check, check, check." Then she would leave with some loud-mouthed drunk that had had one to many a six pack ago!!! I would go W--T--F?? Then I FINALLY realized it wasn't me. IT WAS THEM! There was what women said they wanted, and then there was what "FLIPPED THEIR SWITCH," and if that is what she wanted, HE WAS WELCOME TO HER. More than one came back asking for a second chance. NOPE! I wanted someone that VALUED what I had to offer. I learned to tell the difference. Not too long after that, I met the woman who has been the warm fire in my wilderness for 38 years.

[@TGP109]

So you met a bunch of women in a bar drinking alcohol and now wonder why you struck out?

[@daisylu1973]

So glad you found your Loving Mate ❤❤

[@pugsymalone6539]

I'm grateful that I'm at the age where I don't have to care what anyone else wants or thinks.

[@pugsymalone6539]

@@stevearcher6100 I can't disagree with your premise. I never had any children and I recognize that I have the luxury of not worrying about a lot of things because of that.

[@alaalfa8839]

Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid. And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things. Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.

[@ronniesamaroo1775]

But yet your here listening to what this fellow thinks on KZbin.

[@jkerk73]

I want to express to you my appreciation for your content, presentation and delivery. I am glad you have a Psy. D, rather than PhD, and it shows. You keep your messages short, sweet and to the point allowing us to digest it on our own: perfect. You don’t talk like you’re some expert who knows it all above your audience 🙏. You don’t go round about with expertise no one wants to hear. Instead, you’re a smart man, who has educated himself and done his homework, that cares and is sharing his gift to the world. We need more people like you. Thank you. You have wonderful insights. You’re inspiring and thought provoking. Thank you.🙏

[@ruckin3]

If she has TRUE DESIRE for you, the relationship will be VERY easy. I wish I had learned that when I was in high school. Makes mate selection infinitely easier

[@KJThePublicist]

Bruh... Same... Def gonna teach my nephews and son (one day) this gem so they don't get played...

[@gab31282]

This right here is the truth.

[@joelp77440]

Soooo true. I failed at this when I was younger. Thinking if I become everything in her list , then she would be attracted to me. Instead of building attraction first by embracing my masculine nature. Don’t put the cart before the horse.

[@botezsimp5808]

Same. Same..

[@patienceobongo]

Don't waste time on what women want because it changes during the monthly cycle

[@zainajenkins]

Exactly! When men ask me on first dates what I’m looking for I remain as vague as possible as I’m not willing to give them a detailed list of what they should show me they have to win me over. Just be yourself and let’s see if you meet my requirements. I’ll let them know as soon as they don’t, within reason.

[@richard_from_england333]

@@zainajenkins You speak like you're some kind of a price

[@Michael-it7nx]

@@richard_from_england333 exactly. 👍

[@griesemermd]

As a recovering “nice guy”, this took me a while to figure out. Part of the problem is that men interpret the question as “what men are you attracted to”, but these answers have nothing to do with attraction.

[@Half-Mi]

For me, the interesting part about the 2nd consequence is that by the time I gained ground on self-improvement and the acquisition of game, as it were, I no longer had any enjoyment or fulfillment from catching the eye of women I was or am attracted to. They now become obstacles or road blocks towards my goals and aspirations. A burden, a chore to have to maintain. At this point, I have yet to find someone that has a worth in keeping around… it sounds vain or heartless as I write it down but this is truly where I am at in my life.

[@kleinvisuals9905]

Finally someone who thinks like me. Build aspirations for yourself and maintain success in this capitalistic society. Women here tend to be superficial, and it is easy for them to be attracted to someone who appears successful and worked on himself for years. Don't let a random relationship ruin what you worked hard for, for years. Your value matters more than this "game" many men play foolishly, often at the expense of their sanity and assets, as experienced in divorce, lawsuits and false accusations. Test the waters and learn constantly about the girls that are actually interested in you. If you believe in God, He will provide the woman for you by faith. Amen and God bless. You have the right mindset brother.

[@BreezeeGreenz]

I get it Madmax. And Kleinvisuals, I know enough about female nature to be discouraged but more for other men than for myself. (I'm convinced that if men learned about female nature in a way that men couldn't be in denial about it, no less than 75% of western men, at least, would become 'volcels' (voluntarily celibate) because while it's true that women can't handle the truth about men... it's also true (I believe even truer) that men can't handle the truth about women.) I hope God provides the woman for me because I want a family but cannot settle for the 'unaddressed/unresolved' female nature that's always been there but that's become more open and brazen in our modern era. Most married men are literally 'sleeping with the enemy' (ie. in bed with a wife who, deep down inside, resents or doesn't respect the husband as a worthy man). I wouldn't be able to live with that let alone sleep with it.

[@Tom-vq2hw]

That's the twist. You spend your whole life trying to acquire something, and then when you have it you find out it's worthless. The effort I put into trying to find a relationship is the biggest regret of my life. I hope young men moving forward can learn this much earlier than I did

[@Biiiiird]

I feel 100% the same. The juice isn't worth the squeeze

[@CompassRoseGaming]

Because the initial value in women and dating is that being "selected" by a woman when you are young is inherently a status boost to you. No woman wants to "pollute" themselves by elevating a lesser man.

[@darlawrence9295]

You nailed it. It took me a while to understand that what a woman wants and what she is attracted to are 2 different things. An interesting consequence was once I figured woman out I no longer desired them. On to my next quest!

[@RespectMyAuthoritaah]

I dropped all pretense of wanting women about 22 years ago. I went full monk mode. After I did, I found myself getting approached in supermarkets, hardware stores, the post office, you name it. Weird. I am polite, but distance myself. Women can sense that, "I don't care attitude" and are drawn to it. Now that I want nothing to do with them I have a lot of choices.

[@canman87]

@@RespectMyAuthoritaah I think that's partly due to the inherent desire for attention that most women have (which isn't soley a trait of women of course, but it definitely seems to be present predominantly in women). If she isn't getting the attention from someone that she feels she should be, subconsciously she'll want to figure out why that is. So in a weird way, it does often end up working out better in the long run for men to not do the chasing, lol.

[@mastershake4641]

This makes so much sense. Ive been arguing with the women in my life that women dont find me attractive, yet I have those qualities they say they want. None of the women can seem to answer me in a way that feels right. Ive always felt like women are more shallow and picky about what they find attractive in men but every woman will coutner with looks dont matter blah blah blah and list these things are what they are looking for. Now I realize women believe these are what they are looking for but thats because they automatically disqualify everyone they arent attracted to first then look for these traits. Makes way more sense now. Thanks.

[@Leoo117]

They don't normally don't know the answer to that question. What actually attracts them is simply masculinity. Masculinity means drive, purpose, mission, overcoming obstacles, succeeding, achieving goals, being decisive and being sure of yourself, and sure of who you are and boundaries. Basically, getting your stuff together. They have to NOTICE this on their own. This is generally what causes the initial attraction, and then they look for more things. You cannot be trying to flaunt it, because that would be unattractive, because thats feminine. So you literally just getting stuff done and enjoying yourself while you do it is what attracts them. They tend to put themselves in your orbit. It's like you are driving a fun bus and know exactly the direction you're headed, and they want to be part of it. So it really isn't based on looks as much for them. They also like patient men, and men that go for what they want and are ok if they don't get it.

[@TGP109]

There's no ''set'' criteria for whom you'll find attractive-it depends on too many factors. People need to stop approaching attraction like a checklist, it doesn't work that way.

[@Biiiiird]

They're lying to themselves through you to come out as a good person. THis is the female psychey, they have no idea of what they do or what guides their emotions and actions. They're actually very manipulable, and when you see how most of them conform to msm propaganda, it all makes sense

[@Will-ql5db]

They're hypocrites. They can judge you all they want, but you better not judge them.

[@juliancate7089]

I think women have two facets to what we, and they, call attraction. The first is things that arouse them. Arousal is purely physical. In women, this is usually a lean, muscular physique (emphasis on muscular), good grooming, and dressing the part. Good grooming should be self-explanatory, but we're living in the age of ultra-low erudition, so it means to have your hair combed, cut, and in a classic style, your beard trimmed, your teeth brushed, and application of cologne. Dressing the part means dressing according to the level of income and professionalism you've achieved. There's nothing wrong with wearing a suit and tie even though every man I know seems to think that's uncool. The second part is what I'll call need-based attraction. Women are resource extractors. So they are attracted to men with resources. Resources means money, but also skills, time, attention, and abilities that will make her feel better about you and make her life better. The kicker is that you might have all the resources in the world, and thus be attractive to her needs, but if you don't make her hot, if you don't arouse her, she's going to seek those resources from the men who do. It's that simple. The sad truth is that women don't care about the person you are on the inside unless you give them a reason to. As Chris Rock famously said, men are loved only on condition that they provide something of value., and value in this case means being both desirable (arousal) and attractive (needs).

[@cevanille1104]

Oh stfu, men want to date young and attractive women they don't "love" fat old women either. You don't want a woman for "love" and you don't love her for what"s "inside". You want a young, pretty woman, for sex. get lost haha

[@tamarasophia6145]

I agree with the above whole heartedly except for this line: "The sad truth is that women don't care about the person you are on the inside unless you give them a reason to". That may be SOME women but its not ALL women. Many women care about the person you are inside.

[@juliancate7089]

@@tamarasophia6145 Bullshite. You can delude yourself all you want that you, and some other minority of women, care about a man's character, but you're fooling no one but yourself. You might admire a man, but that's not the same as the quality of his character being the deciding factor in your willingness to love him. Women love opportunistically, so as soon as you have an opportunity with another man who is more attractive and has more resources you can extract, the character of the man you're with won't matter at all. In fact, you'll manufacture some reasons why it's HIS fault you're leaving him for the new dude.

[@tamarasophia6145]

@@juliancate7089 Its a very hostile brush you are painting ALL women with. I apologize on behalf of all the women that hurt you. I didn't say his character is the ONLY or DECIDING factor, I said its a factor. Just like the way a woman looks is not the ONLY or DECIDING factor for most men; they also consider character. 🤨😟And NOT ALL women love based on a man's money. Very hostile brush. Men with your attitude make me nervous to be in the dating world. The hate is palpable.

[@cevanille1104]

@@tamarasophia6145 Tamara, he means he thinks he should be getting sexual rewards for being "a good person". As you and I women know, a woman who is polite and nice but ugly sick or old does not matter either to these men (they want sexual access to desirable women). He just does not want to make himself desirable (be fit, eat well, groom a bit, be social).

[@michaelgeorge422]

Your ideas are invaluable.

[@vtcs1963]

I don’t know why this channel was recommended to me but I want to say that I am an almost 60 year old woman and I have NEVER heard anyone, male or female, admit this concept before. I lived my whole life believing that I was weird for wanting to be with a man I was attracted to - because even so-called male dating coaches tell women to just give the guy a chance even if she is not attracted to him. Anyway - thanks for saying what you said. It’s true.

[@psychacks]

I'm glad you found the channel!

[@Hypersonik]

It's because women lie when questioned as to make them seem all sweet and wholesome. Most modern men already know this. The thing is that if a woman is attracted to a man, chances are another woman will be thus that man will likely not settle down because he has options.

[@helendancelot]

@@Hypersonik it may not be so much that they lie. More that they have been conditioned to think that they should be interested in the personality not the looks and believe it of themselves

[@Hypersonik]

@@helendancelot That's a distinct possibility. The result is a lie though, no matter the cause.

[@Alan_the_Red]

@@helendancelot It's for sure a lie, though they might not realize it. Men have the exact same thing, we are told not to be shallow too. Tbh though I haven't even heard these types of lies since high school. Adults know that a lot of people are prioritizing the physical (and demeanor, displays of competence and prowess) and if they don't figure that out they are probably in for a world of hurt.

[@31minutesago]

The Issue is not trying to be attractive to a woman that is NOT attracted to you. It's keeping it when she has decided she is NO LONGER attracted to you. But, that is also a fool's game. She withheld her desire to escape until she could monkeybranch. And he isn't necessarily better, though she will allow you to think that the rest of your days. He is Fresher. Brand New. A movie she hasn't seen yet. Eventually, she may regret her swing. Realize the previous branch has grown bigger and stronger. And we too often allow them to swing back. Not anymore. No more swingbacks. And if you hit the ground, single, maybe friendless and homeless...welcome to a man's life. Now you must climb the whole tree again.

[@enl8ghtenmenttv476]

Funny Christmas tree story here...😂 perfectly put rly

[@wolfhors3_660]

I think the real issue is what you're doing when you try to mold yourself into something that is attractive to "women" you become a different person or pretend to be a different person. The problem arises after you have "won" the woman and maintaining that false personna become tedious and uncomfortable. You begin to revert to your true self. The person you are comfortable being. The woman then feels you've changed, your not the man I married etc etc etc. I'm 60 odd years of life I've had two wives and many many relationships before that. I first married at age 38. My experience with women before that was this. If I treated them well. If I was attentive, kind, considerate, and thoughtful of them they grew disinterested and left or cheated. If I did as I pleased, I don't mean being necessarily disrespectful or hurtful to them. I mean just did what I wanted to do and allowed them to join me in my activities or my life as it was, if they chose to, as if it did not matter to me. If I was clear that if they weren't interested, I'd just find someone else or be on my own. Then I couldn't get rid of them. They might get angry. They might storm out or leave. However they never broke up with me, never threatened to leave, never cheated. I really don't understand it. So I say to men out there. Be yourself. You may not get a woman. Be prepared to be single. Single is way better than being in a relationship where you have to pretend to be someone else. If you put yourself in casual contact with many women, more than likely you'll find one that likes the real you or rather she'll find you. Why do we always see women as a prize to be won. There no more a prize than men are. Why should men have to change our maleness to be more palatable to women. We're men. Be a man and let them be women. Today it almost feels like they've made it a crime to be a man. WOW am I long winded or what?🤣🤣🤣

[@user-rw5sz7sz1m]

At this point it’s not a red pill but black I don’t know how you can cope with that reality if women only assume men that are attractive

[@jakemoore6891]

I think you're right, but the things he listed in the video are things that everyone should be striving for regardless of a desire for a partner. Things like being fit, knowing how to have an interesting conversation, having some goals and knowing how to achieve them, these things all make life worth living. I think you both have important and correct points, need them both to get it right.

[@wolfhors3_660]

@@jakemoore6891 but you should do those things for you not somebody else.😁👍

[@jakemoore6891]

@@wolfhors3_660 100%

[@edboldt3769]

That was brilliant...

[@destinysdaughter3424]

Women are attracted to confidence and masculine energy. They won’t admit it, and society is constantly downing men for being masculine. But we want strong masculine energy nevertheless. It’s a catch 22 in today’s world.

[@doloresaquines1529]

Destiny. Of course we are. Normal women are attracted to masculine men, and have no Trouble saying so. I am and I do!! I know there are many very silly women out there, but please Don't generalize!

[@marthamurphy3913]

Agree.

[@YouthRightsRadical]

You've got your causal arrows backward. A lot of people make this mistake. Confidence doesn't attract women. Women being attracted to a man builds his confidence.

[@Pinkybum]

Nothing wrong with masculine energy. Being an asshole on the other hand...

[@michaelsteinberg205]

This is the talk that my brother or father should have had with me when I was a teenager.

[@hangukhiphop]

Word. I am so grateful that mine did!

[@mb7529]

Maybe their father never had it with them…focus on what you learnt and not on what others should have done for you. Maybe help them..

[@billgreen576]

Maybe they didn't know until it was too late and spent their life wondering what happened to the wonderful girl they asked to marry them.

[@mb7529]

@@billgreen576 exactly

[@jimmys1558]

exactly this, wasted 15 of my best years following mothers useless advice. now she is complaining why she has no grandkids.

[@ziggytonumaa]

Very solid advice in 4 minutes. Choose a woman that chooses you. Life's better this way

[@billgreen576]

Or not. That means you are 10th on her list of potential fall back options. And can be dropped any second that her number one choice clicks his fingers. In fact she is probably still seeing number one as one of his side chicks.....hoping.

[@paddington1670]

@@billgreen576 that's what a male friend of a woman is, a potential suitor, just not right now. 8.2 times out of 10.

[@janinejohnstone468]

@@paddington1670 heh that is what men want to think!

[@8House]

This is a particularly valuable video, especially for young men in the dating market. There is so much fluff and outright BS out there, leading men away from the truth. This is short, but pure gold. Pay attention men.

[@andre1987eph]

A man “loves”. A woman “dates”. Young men are not in a dating market, unless they are women. Test on Monday.

[@alphagt62]

As a young man, I Learned to stop chasing the woman I fancied, but to look around, and see which women were interested in me. That is the group you can pick from. Everyone has heard that old adage, woman make up their mind whether they will date you or not in the first few seconds. Once they’ve made this judgement it’s very hard to sway them otherwise. It would take a revelation to make them suddenly see you in a new light. It’s not impossible, but difficult or may require circumstances beyond your control. There are a lot of woman who really don’t want to date you, but they’ll let you spent your money on them, lead you on thinking they are about to be won over. Beware of these woman, they’ll never come around. If they aren’t attracted to you the first time you talk to them, move along. Men fall in love, woman choose who they will fall in love with.

[@023achilles]

"I want someone that is smart and funny" that is what I was told as a teenager. Took almost 20 years to realize I believe one BS sentence for half my life.

[@trucid2]

If you're a man, never take advice from women. What works for women doesn't work for men.

[@cfri9332]

@@023achilles I wonder what sort of cultures you guys live in. I know plenty of broke, funny fuggos that are dating, married, and with kids.

[@Cantbuyathrill]

This is soooooooooo true. When a woman "gives you" the key to the puzzle, the key itself is a puzzle.

[@shinom0ri]

The “good news” is, that after you spent most of your life trying to emulate the qualities women list as desirable and doubling down on these qualities at every turn (since the logical conclusion is that you must not be “nice” enough), the solution is here. If you are tired of not getting picked, you can now simply transform your physical body, transform your outward appearance and style completely, transform your personality to be more extroverted and socially graceful, and finally getting successful in your chosen field of work. In short: be somebody else. You could do all that, or… and hear me out now… you could just focus on making yourself happy. You only live once and spending that time trying to measure up to someone else’s idea of a good partner/person/employee, etc is a waste of time. I’m tired of the clickbait titles of “you must do these 5 things” on youtube/tiktok. It only serves to make you feel inadequate and demotivate you from getting anywhere. Don’t lift a finger for anything other than your own happiness and the goals that you set in life. If you want to get at the top of your chosen field, do so because you like your job, not because you think it will impress a woman. If you want to be healthy, you can pick up healthy eating habits and start working out. If you pick up these habits just to get some “tail” you are just pretending, and it won’t last very long. tl;dr a salty dude complains over the content and overly positive vibe but ultimately goes on to say the same thing as the guy in the video, but with a slight twist.

[@paulsusac4839]

Agreed. Most women don't judge men based on their character, they judge men based on their attraction and utility. When I realized this, I stopped worrying about being judged by women. To be fair, I also realized that I was judging women in the same light, and I started surrounding myself with women of good character.

[@mvs9122]

Absolutely, taking care of your own needs (house, car, etc) is not easy nowdays.

[@musebymelissa8583]

The tl;dr made me lol fr, but you've raised some great points. Good advice for us women too 👍

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

Really good points and I completely agree. We women need to hear this too. The best thing you can do for you or anyone else is to work on yourself. Know yourself and heal your own wounds. Get to know yourself as someone you like and love.

[@davidd1289]

A woman will help you to be happier. This is where i disagree with you. Purpose, on the other hand, is developed by the man and who/what he learns from. Purpose is more valuable than happiness in my opinion.

[@lovehate4666]

I'm 59 yrs old and dating women 10-15 yrs younger. His advice is spot on. I go to the gym, wear stylish clothes etc. Fact is, most all women love bad boys, until you actually exhibit those bad boy traits. I also believe they think, "I can change/train him. 😂

[@AK_501]

Appreciated.. could u name few bad boys traits ??

[@EE12CSVT]

Yes, that's the core of it. It's the beauty and the beast story. They want to be the one woman who tames the beast that no other woman has, but when she's done so, she gets bored and goes after another beast to try to tame. Women come on to me assuming I'm a bad boy and want to join my harem in order to be the one woman who claims me for herself, taming me. I shake my head in mild despair.

[@agm5424]

Yeah woman can't "change a man" they can either support and assist a man into bettering himself if he actually wants to or be a harmful factor in the man's life. The fantasy that a woman can change a man is just the female equivalent of a man's fantasy of having a girlfriend that shares him with her friends.

[@b.a.johnson5820]

Women get with men thinking they can change them to what they want. Men get with women hoping they won't change despite having a kid or two.

[@BalakeHart-nh4xh]

Immaturity, delusional and overly entitled.

[@bobblacka918]

You absolutely nailed it. Physical appearance always takes priority over everything else. One man said it best: Women only laugh at the jokes of a guy they are attracted to, even if the jokes are lousy.

[@HelloWorld-cq1sq]

Well, appearance and money. There's plenty of examples of women being with a relatively old, physically unattractive man. Because he's rich. But yeah, it's a bit sad that many women don't primarily look at my accomplishments and values and character, and instead look at my body and bank account.

[@salguodrolyat2594]

Norm MacDonald rip

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Not just those. Masculinity. The Vibe.

[@Deron8564]

One of the most important, straight to the point videos that all men need to watch.

[@ninelaivz4334]

1. Being physically attractive 1a. Having a ton of money 1c. Being physically fit 2. Knowing how to dress. 3. Charming conversation 4. Choosing a life mission 5. Obtaining success 6. Picking up some game 5/8 are typical superficial wants of today's women.

[@alaalfa8839]

Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid. And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things. Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.

[@alaalfa8839]

Women probably have similar problem that they usually think that the nice, polite and goodlooking one, is already dating someone else or is married. So its almost the same problem. That their confidence is also very limited and The women who have some moral compas wouldnt want to take the guy from other woman….. After all she even may be glad that such good guy has a nice person by his side….and that some harmony in the world exists.. Of course we have to differentiate women in few categories. 19 years old may have completelly different point of view than 35 years old woman. 20 years old doesnt know yet what she is looking for, the looks or the character or other qualities. It seems the 35 years old realises that the guy should also have a poetic side of personality, liking some nice music, going to theater or Opera, helping the neighbor in need, or things like that…. The poetic side is very attractive, though some people dont realise it, because televission rarely shows poetic side of people. They usually show expensive houses and cars, but not the really nice things. And if a father wants to help his daughter to find the guy with a character and with a poetic side of personality, its his choice, but maybe the father also should show some of his humorous side and say it with humor, or say it poetically…… So the daughter will feel it not with her brain but with her heart. Scientists found out that heart is much smarter than brain. Heart is not about logic. As Deepak Chopra says Love is irrational wisdom of the heart. They found out that electric field of the heart is 100 000 times bigger than electric field of brain and magnetic field of heart is 5000 times bigger than magnetic field of brain. So heart is much more powerful, even though human brain tries to solve everything with logic.

[@neillchippett655]

If the man was this great, who would'nt want a relationship with him. I would, and I'm a straight man.

[@BowTie8Bit]

If every woman wants them, they're not superficial. It can't be that all women are superficial - it has to be that our society has been trying to coach women away from their instincts and it's become harmful in relationship building. Being physically attractive is always #1 to everyone that's participating in natural selection, and that's the vast majority. Some might have had their minds conditioned to think a little otherwise through lies like religion or social construction, and that's where things get fuzzy. But the basic truth is that natural selection is primal instinct and primal qualities are what attract us all along - it's why storytelling and movies must evoke primal qualities in us: the need to laugh, the power of terror, the need to overcome, redemption, partnership, defense of home, monster in the house, etc.

[@yshujh9372]

I am a woman and I can say that this is exactly what women want lol

[@nickmichelioudakis4300]

Excellent! This clip reminded me of the following joke: 'One of the things women claim is most important in a man is a sense of humour. In my years as a comedian, I've learned that they're usually referring to the humour of guys like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe. Apparently those guys are hilarious!' [Comedian Jimi McFarland] 😆😆

[@thereapersperch]

lol love this

[@KpxUrz5745]

Yeah. Women say sense of humor because it's a defense mechanism answer. They won't answer the question honestly because it would make them look bad.

[@daisylu1973]

​@@KpxUrz5745Not really, a Man who makes you laugh and who is light-hearted but who is Really like that and not a faker, he's a Treasure to be Cherished and Guarded ❤🤴❤

[@QuiDocetDiscit]

Women love and adore a 99 yo millionaire with a bad cough.😳

[@hansjuker8296]

The OP is right. Women laugh at jokes of ppl they want to bang.

[@NotaNazgul]

I fully agree and learned this the hard way. Another thing. Understand that thing about the life goal. Make yourself busy in growth, in living, in seizeing the moment. Provide positive psychology to yourself. Appreciate failures as new input. Many "unattractive" men are needy for validation by others, they never learned to be their own source. That drives most partners away because it easily leads to a toxic relationship. Enjoy growing, lads! Enjoy each step, each day. You've got this!

[@mamabear3610]

Beautiful comment

[@yeflynne]

Yes good content

[@BloomingRose60]

💗

[@adamr63]

This is a fascinating point, thanks. I wish there was more analysis like yours that is based in increasing understanding rather than creating more division.

[@jogendrajoshi7327]

Such no-nonsense and profound advice delivered under 5 minutes! I already knew all of this from years ago but I am still going to subscribe.

[@datastorm75]

My wife watched this with me. She says you are 100% correct in your assessment of this.

[@alaalfa8839]

Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid. And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things. Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.

[@asura8495]

your right hand talks? you might have more than just one big problem 😂

[@susanhaines7358]

Absolutely. There has to be attraction in a sexual relationship

[@bhg123ful]

Yes! Yes! Yes! So true. I wasted a lot of years thinking “what are you looking for in a man?” is the same thing as “what are you attracted to?”.

[@marionwest3661]

Chemical attraction is the most important thing. If there is no spark, it won’t come to anything.

[@SPACEDOUT19]

and that biochemical attraction comes from LOOKS, Jeremy Meeks proved that

[@Jubal.Harshaw]

I've been out on hundreds of dates. I am now in my 60's and NEVER have women EVER asked me anything on a date about my morals, ethics or beliefs. Instead, they ask me about where I live, what I drive, where I go on vacations, how tall I am, and questions about my social network. Women LIE. I have ALWAYS been in good shape, I am tall, have a full head of hair, I have had very good jobs and had a very reliable social network. It was NEVER ENOUGH. It NEVER IS!

[@gabrielpowers766]

A date is a lot like a job interview. But when you are older like Jubal and me it's like an interview for a job you really don't want, but you just want to work a day or two and then quit once you see what it's like.

[@trucid2]

And your horoscope sign. They will ask you that.

[@Jubal.Harshaw]

@@trucid2 Funny! But TRUE!! I've known lotz of women who refuse to go out with men based SOLELY on their horoscope! Idiots! (But, who wants to date an idiot - much less be married to one!)

[@jengsci8268]

Jubal Harshaw - Believe me, when trying to score, everyone lies. Married men lie about being married, either saying they aren't. or they are separated, or getting divorced...just to name a few lines. Yeah, everyone lies.

[@trucid2]

@@Jubal.Harshaw I guess the trick would be to ask her horoscope sign first and lie about yours. LOL

[@STREEEEEET]

That's so true. But it's worth noting that if you have enough time around a woman, say at work or school, she might develop an attraction to you after getting to know you. But that's a risky game for you because you might simple be the ok option she has at that moment so you were perceived as viable, but as soon someone 'better' comes down the line, she'll kick you to the curve.

[@mediocreman2]

*to the curb. But yeah you're right!

[@STREEEEEET]

@@mediocreman2 I'd never guess that. Thank you. English is not my first language and i would bet money it was curve. I'll never forget now.

[@Golden_Ghoul]

Love the vids brother! I recently learned about the "boyfriend energy" made me realize that women instinctively know if they want you but as soon as you give off boyfriend energy you basically lost. Gotta keep these women on their toes at all times. And never be bothered if they choose someone else.

[@billm5555]

So simple but also so profound. You summed it up in the first 2 minutes. Nice job.

[@mikec6733]

I appreciate the way that you keep your videos brief, yet still give a thorough explanation. You could easily ramble on for double the time, providing no real additional information, but you don't. Very great. Thank you very much 😊

[@davidransom4476]

Reminds me of an interview with the guy that wrote the book How To Pick Up Women. There was also a woman on the show, and her responses were right along the lines of this video. What she says she wants is not the guy that takes her home.

[@FeelnLikeIDoEveryDay]

My heart dropped listening to this. I hate how logical my mind works sometimes. Just adding that last piece conceptualized and crystallized it as a whole for me. I can’t even explain my prior resistance but now. It’s not even a question. Damn. I could never tell why someone liked me, was it because I could be nice I was nice or did nice have nothing to do with it. I’d always forget myself being myself and it can’t be faked or masqueraded however you’ve got to hold frame. Don’t shutter, stay open and out clothes 24/7 never closed 🎉 party time

[@alaalfa8839]

Great answer not exactly to this topic, but in general said an european, czech comedy actress……as she wanted to find new purpose in life of personal, spiritual transformation of happiness….she started to read a lot of books, for example by Lazariev…….It helped her a lot, mostly during covid. And then she as 48 years old started to make seminars about her duscoveries and what helped her etc and because she is a comedian she knows how to make people luagh, and give them the sense of how they should transform their own happiness. Her father is her inspiration. So she did the seminars also colleagues or with her father. She wrote 2 humorous books about funny adventures and stories with her father, to make people laugh after the covid nonsense……… She said that as she found out you may open your heart chakra even if you dont fall in love with anybody…..because the purpose of your life is to loving yourself first, loving your hobbies, sports, travelling, food, all the interesting inspirational things. Its your purpose since childhood. But many kids didnt experience self-love even in childhood, because nobody taught them it….they heard the criticism too often, so they learned the wrong habits except the self love……she didnt say it this way but many people as her, explain this basic stuff about self-love and childhood. For example Dr. Bruce Lipton explains it too. She also liked him………..but she wanted to say the basic thing is that people dont understand that they may open the heart chakra, or whatever you want call it, even if they dont fall in love with human being…because you start to love everything, your life hobbies etc…your friends, family or even unknown people…..…..but she says usually with most people happens is that they have the heart chakra closed, but it opens only when they fall in love with someone, because they can not help it….it happens without a planing. It happens by itself…….but the people who do meditation practice, open the heart chakra on purpose…..it has great health benefits, you become happier, healthier, you start to have more friends….but thing is you have to practice daily a love, gratitude, empathy, stoping watching too much violence that compromisees the mind etc. Start reading info about it. Maybe the best way is to do the work, then the love partner finds you without effort.

[@lewis20002000]

Bro,,,,,,the worst thing in the world is to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you or isn't attracted to you. Do you really want to have to perform and work so hard to keep that person's interest,,,,NO WAY. Just stay focused on your hustle and purpose, and like the Doc said, work on the things that women fine attractive.

[@texaspineywoods3879]

I first saw you on Laita’s SWU and fell in love. Smart, intuitive, AND cute AF? GET OUTTA HERE! 😂 Thank you for what you do.

[@ronhill8941]

Facts. And this is also why getting dating and first approach advice from women is rarely of any value to men. They simply tell you what they would want a man (that they already find highly attractive) to do if he approached her. And, of course, the problem with that is that studies have shown that most women don’t find most men attractive. So essentially, all women do is tell men what Ryan Gosling should do if he ever decided to approach her.

[@mortalkomment8028]

Hahahaha

[@JJ-vp3bd]

so for men be the best you can be and hope for the best

[@RobertMorgan]

Most women don't find most men attractive, yet we have 8 billion of us. Imagine if women found men attractive lol.

[@ianpeter4121]

@@JJ-vp3bd sad but true

[@Enjoymentboy]

What women tend not to do when communicating is be truly straightforward and honest There's always a little dodging around the question as if they are expecting the audience to fill in the blanks.

[@paulsusac4839]

Here's a question for you: How self aware are women about what they are attracted to and to what degree do they recognize that they are sending out signals of attraction? My experience is that women OFTEN deny attraction to men that they then ending up sleeping with. They also OFTEN deny that they are signaling proceptivity when they are dressing provocatively, showing a lot of skin etc. Instead they rationalize these behaviors as "wanting to feel pretty" or "dressing for myself." I suspect that these behaviors are unconscious, but I find that women get defensive when you ask them about this.

[@popejaimie]

Make friends with women, like real actual friends with them. So many of you guys would have so many fewer questions about women if you could bring yourselves to truly deep-down understand that we are humans, and that if you were in our shoes you'd do the exact same kinds of things.

[@johnwalsh518]

Which proves they are lying from the get go.

[@Jdb63]

@@popejaimie If we were in your shoes while still having the brain of a man, we would absolutely not do the same kind of things. Same goes in reverse. We're both humans but we have very different psyches and biological directives

[@ilikepancakes2368]

@@popejaimieThat wouldn’t solve anything. You would still deceive us from female nature.

[@popejaimie]

@@Jdb63 false

[@jintz2]

I learned this years ago from the book The Manual: What Women Want, highly recommended!

[@r0ckworthy]

Absolutely correct. Wish I'd learned this at 16 instead of 43.

[@psychacks]

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. The part that women always leave out refers to the responses of women to the question: "what are you looking for in a man?" These responses are typically a litany of positive character attributes: someone kind, someone loyal, someone family-oriented. However, women always leave out a very important part to their responses, and it's this omission that can really mess with men's heads. I'll explain what I mean in this episode. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com

[@shyamalidasgupta671]

Compatibility ... someone who is compatible ( even 50 % - 60 % compatibility between partners will be reasonably okay to work on & build a relationship on )

[@adamleddy9894]

I think a lot of men out there try to be this description, which is not honest in any way. My wife knew I was a Brigand to begin with… but I had these traits and have grown into them… and she has always stood by me… I think the converse is true today, many men are scared to be all they can be, it’s just an opinion.

[@lockandloadlikehell]

@@adamleddy9894

[@kellygreenii]

Bull’s eye. That list of traits are what they want…in the men the find attractive. Not what they find attractive in a man. First get the good genes…then work to get the relational investment from him.

[@jea8644]

I think it depends of what the Women needs. Coz every women has different needs. For me, i will not be a man who i don't need.

[@BunnyWatson-k1w]

This guy was one of the best panelists on the Whatever podcast. He broke down the psychology behind female attraction.

[@Ms1steve1]

Thanks!

[@sgtbeef]

Everyone is looking for the most physically attractive mate. The character traits each individual brings to the relationship is what keeps the couple together. It always starts with the lust of the eye, however.

[@alexmuenster2102]

>>Everyone is looking for the most physically attractive mate.

[@improover113]

@@alexmuenster2102 truth

[@gilbertigabe7331]

Many still end up divorced 😅😅

[@melmagallon6233]

Very good presentation. I'll put it in a different way. Women ARE looking for long term relationship values, but they do not trigger instant emotional responses. Women have a higher tendency then man to base immediate decisions solely on their emotional response at the moment. Also, attraction is very often not a choice. So if a man is capable of triggering attraction in a woman, then that can lead her to making very bad decisions on the spot.

[@andersnielsen6044]

True. That is also why you see fat men with slim girls..

[@larryag99]

If a person (man or woman) has to change who they fundamentally are to attract their mate... the union will most likely never last. A women putting on industrial strength makeup for instance, or a man wearing clothes he doesn't like or being nice when he's not. The overwhelming amount of people will at some point revert back to who they fundamentally are. A leopard can't change its spots.

[@Wormwoodification]

Precisely. Terrible message to send, that one has to change to be liked or wanted.

[@garethmorgan3665]

We all suck. We all need to change but for ourselves, not for our partner. But having a relationship brings all your shit to the surface so you can't ignore it it. A lot of people ( men and woman) resent that and run away.

[@bobc9786]

"industrial strength makeup" lmao

[@luker1hutcher315]

We're not talking about leopards. Human's are able to change themselves through mastery of their subconcious minds via meditation etc, to the point of being a completely different person. If you know how and wiling to do the hard work.

[@larryag99]

@@luker1hutcher315 so very few have the ability to do that, you are talking about the extreme exceptions. The safe bet is most won't change.

[@karamlevi]

Your logic is outstanding. Excellent delivery also. So clear, so simple. A worthy teacher.

[@adddddams]

Absolutely true. I sorted myself out, became way more attractive, and the difference is mind blowing.

[@justathinker8669]

How did you become "more attractive"?

[@thomasupton2664]

​@justathinker8669 crickets chirping

[@proggerjohn]

The Catch 22 of course is that if you (somehow) become the man she is attracted to, you will no longer need her. You will have other (better) options. Such is the cruel irony of life.

[@piehound]

That may have helped me about 40 years ago. My age is now 73. And i'm no millionaire. Neither am i particularly fit, handsome, nor do i possess a charming manner. Though i'm still interested in the psychology of relationships . . . for obvious reasons. I still need to get along with other people. Even if don't expect to find any friendships with " benefits." Thanks and have nice day.

[@RobertMorgan]

39, attractive millionaire. Last date I was able to get Obama was campaigning for president. Turns out today nothing really works, it's just chance.

[@TravisHi_YT]

@@RobertMorgan Sorry bro, but you're probably not as attractive as you think you are

[@thosoz3431]

I'm on the wrong side of 70 too. I ride my bike 8 klm every day like the devil is chasing me. I dress well. I get hit on even though I'm married. It keeps my wife on her toes and our sex life alive. Don't give up.

[@sethdossett1304]

I always think of it this way when finding a mate: If you think of it in sports terms, you want to recruit the best, most talented, skilled player on your team but he must have the essential character traits of being good teammate, unselfish, good attitude and not a cheater. A lot of people will take an amazing player with no character because of the allure, it is the same way picking a mate it just having character and no skills does not make you a desirable player. The hard thing is for women to wait for an attractive man that actually has character. And the hard thing for a man is to actually have both.

[@Orecatmeatprocessors]

Good Video Doc! I noticed, after my wife ran off, women were a lot more attracted to me than when I was younger and single. You are right they have to be attracted to you, but I noticed that many were impressed with the fact that I had had a good job for years, made good money, was independent, and could get along just fine without them!

[@2xcrzkxk]

Self respect is a big part of attractiveness for women. Respect yourself enough to work out, have a solid job & enjoy your life. That makes you attractive. The same goes for men I believe

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Oh yes, nothing makes me run faster than "neediness"

[@arthurdirindinjr1792]

As it has been stated by other content creators, and absolutely correctly I might add, you CAN NOT negotiate attractiveness She either finds you to be F-ABLE or not And She made that decision within the first seconds she saw you before you ever spoke a single word to her

[@eatshityoutube3271]

Exactly its either theyd take the D or they dont. Ive found even girls that initially dont just throw themselves at you at least know if they would

[@wouter4052]

@@arthurdirindinjr1792 this is the most correct and accurate reaction.

[@adamesd3699]

This is such a good video. It fits with the real world, not the BS make believe we’re told. Years ago I had a co-worker who was an interesting guy. You want to talk about a guy who “had game”? This guy wrote the book! He didn’t waste time on what women SAID they wanted. He was a player, he made himself what women DESIRED! The most amazing thing for me was how these women would imagine things about him. They’d imagine that he was loyal, that he loved them, each woman thought she was the only one in his life. And in reality she’s just Miss Tuesday. So yeah, there’s a lot of blah blah blah about what people say they want. And they’ll rationalize themselves into seeing these things in what they actually desire. And there absolutely are people out there, both men and women, who know this instinctively and can play you so bad you won’t know your head from your toes.

[@ZuerstJesus]

I as a woman say: If you as a man can make my mind fantasizing about you then you get me!

[@blankmandastankman]

The fact that you’re explaining golden nuggets that are nothing more than practical matter of facts shows how stunned we’ve became in this love *game*

[@BreezeeGreenz]

💯 It's all common sense but it's so uncommon now that you have to reteach it as new information.

[@atroecious9357]

I've always seen it as a social contagion; women are told what they're supposed to be interested in, then parrot that back while dating guys who do the exact opposite. The "but I need to ve attracted first" addition makes more sense, though, and women just respond to what's physically being asked, not what's meant: "how do I attract women?" I'm convinced that this disconnect is a large part of what creates incels

[@023achilles]

I remember an internet response from a 'lady', where she insisted that intellectual and emotional attraction could develop over time, but never physical attraction!! Just think of the implications of that statement. You don't find someone more or less attractive based on their physical fitness (which can obviously change)? You don't find a woman with long hair more attractive than one with short hair (iow again level of attractiveness is changing)? You can't learn to appreciate a certain physical attribute, like smaller breasts and bigger behind, if you previously considered yourself a 'boob guy'? You swore you would never date someone with tattoos or a single gray hair until... It just struck me as laughably absurd.

[@1Skeptik1]

Date? Note: 85% of American wives believe their husband is below average, Over 50% of marriages end at the 8-year mark, and nearly 90% of divorce actions are filed by women. Men are in love women are in business, guess where that leaves you. I didn't know that when I married in my naive youth and my ignorance cost me nearly all I worked for (20) years later. Son, I don't care how high your IQ is, what degree hangs on your wall, or how much money you earn, the odds are against you! One bite of wedding cake ends your free will. Be smarter than I was. Kevin Costner is to pay $129,755 in child support per month, half of what his estranged wife sought.

[@robinconnelly6079]

The most important thing women are attracted to is strength. Physical strength helps but it's mental strength that really does it. A man needs to find himself, discover his core values and use those to "anchor" him in all areas of life. Women have this inner instinct of sussing out if he is a wuss or not.

[@BreezeeGreenz]

😂 Facts.

[@fannaffannaf]

I pretty much learned to take what a woman says with a grain of salt and just move forward in the way that I want to. They usually follow suit, if they don't, see ya

[@pikengren1]

The fun part is that if you are attractive, you don't have to have the laundry list of warm fuzzy things.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Until she learns you are just a shallow shell of a man. But you'll be on to the next one by then anyway. Empty in the big picture but there will be lots of sex.

[@pikengren1]

@@Captain_MonsterFart I see plenty of married men who are visibly a shell of a man. Nice attempt at shaming, but my value and depth are not measured by how useful I am to a woman.

[@popejaimie]

You do if you want a decent life. Like these qualities have utility far above and beyond being attractive to women lol

[@pikengren1]

@@popejaimie Again, my value and depth are not measured by how useful I am to a woman. I have many qualities that could be of use to a woman. That does not mean that I have to allow myself to become an object of utility. Don't confuse not being willing to trade what I have to offer for what women have to offer as having nothing to offer. People seem to like to do that.

[@popejaimie]

@@pikengren1 I don't know who you're replying to, I very explicitly said that these qualities have value that has nothing to do with what women want. The qualities in question are basic requirements of being a decent person capable of building relationships with the people around you. If you lack these qualities, you will die miserable and alone, and I don't mean romantically alone, I mean there will be no one who cares about you and your body will only be found when it starts to smell enough that strangers call for a wellness check. I don't know why you are conflating "utility" with "useful to women", that's really weird.

[@wyattfamily8997]

No matter what man a woman "selects" she will always try to "improve" him, and then be dissatisfied with the result SHE created.

[@autarko]

She tries to 'domesticate' him, and if she succeeds she''ll wonder where her attractive man went.

[@mnomad9173]

@wyattfamily8997, what she thinks is improving. Women can’t even be happy with their own creations. That’s funny. Yes. Agreed 110%.

[@josephpepper3087]

A good woman can train a guy without him losing his masculinity, and appreciate him. When that happens everyone wins. This is what men & women should be focused on. This is what will lead to guys who aren't top 10% "Chads" being with a good woman long-term complete with friendship & sex.

[@lesliesmith2103]

Thanks!

[@gracemaple1060]

This is very true! Although part of the reason why women don't list what makes them actually attracted, is because its really hard to tell what it is. I can guess, based on who I've been attracted to in the past, but its often not very accurate (it doesn't help predict who I'll be attracted to in the future very well). All I know is that its some combination of appearance and body language. I have a really hard time being attracted to a picture for example, without seeing that person in motion. Actors I'm attracted to in one movie make me not attracted in another movie. Someone who looks cute in their dating profile leaves me feeling nothing on the date itself. Its all very confusing. I think, and take this with a grain of salt, they are generally taller than me, with relatively even facial features, fit but not a muscle man, relatively confident, and focused? I think is the right word for the feeling I get from them. So when someone says, "what are you looking for in a man?", its easy to default to what I would want in a long term partner, and leave out the confusing attraction aspect.

[@kellygreenii]

Hint: What are your parents (or whoever you were closest to growing up) like? What traits about them-both very good and very bad--stand out in your mind? Understand that, and I’ll bet you’ll start to see a pattern emerge in the type of person you are attracted to. As well as those who you are not. As for the physical features you’re describing? Height, symmetric face, fitness, confident, assertive? That’s our biology talking. Those are all makers of good genes, good health, and a man that is like to be able to provide for and protect a family. Which is not the same as someone who is likely to make a satisfying partner in a long term relationship. But thank you for being honest. In my experience, many women are in the same boat you are. They are unaware of the disconnect between what collection of traits they say they want in a long term partner, and those found in the men they keep finding themselves attracted to. Which is why I say to not listen to what a woman says she wants. Watch and see who she is drawn to. Her actions will reveal the truth.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Yeah it's unconscious chemistry that makes us feel attraction most of the time. This is why I can't bring myself to start online dating. It's seriously missing that important element!

[@kellygreenii]

@@Captain_MonsterFart Same. It’s kind of dehumanizing, really…

[@023achilles]

Women don't know what they want, and it changes day by day. Summarized answer.

[@sambadham1404]

You're attracted to status, everything else is just a cue for status.

[@Mongoose069]

rule 1: be attractive rule 2: dont be unattractive they'll mental gymnastic themselves into whatever position to make their decision "feel right"

[@Dru2maBoii]

Perfectly said. No skill or game matters if she's not attracted to you. It doesn't have to be high, but it does need to be present.

[@kellygreenii]

Disagree. Game can make you more attractive. The problem is that it takes time, effort, and commitment to develop it….so many guys don’t want to put in the effort to figure out what game looks like for them. …and many young women lack the social skills these days to even appreciate game.

[@Dru2maBoii]

@@kellygreenii As you said. Game makes you MORE attractive. It doesn't make you attractive. There has to already be attraction there. Game only works if you're already receptive to it.

[@kellygreenii]

@@Dru2maBoii Game isn’t going turn someone into Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio. But the harsh reality is that there are very few male “10s” out there. So the rest of feminine humanity will have to go with other options. Fortunately, for us guys, the calculus of attraction is more complex for women than it is for men. We are purely visual. If she doesn’t hit a minimum beauty standard for us, we just aren’t going to be interested. For women, appearance is one factor. But so is status, and “game”. Game is how men can demonstrate that we are a “good genetic bet” through behavior rather than just appearance. Are we skilled socially (“smooth”)? Are we intelligent? (good protector, provider, good genes). Are we creative (another form of intelligence)? Are we funny? Humor if a quick-and-dirty way to screen for intelligence, creativity AND social skill. It takes all three to negotiate the rhythm, timing, creativity and social acumen to make people laugh without offending them. Are we comfortable in our bodies, or are we awkward or clumsy. (This where athletes come in) So game can shift you a couple of points in attractiveness, but it won’t work miracles. But you also have to remember pre-selection. Even if a woman won’t date you, her showing interest in you in other ways will often draw the attention of women who will be willing to.

[@Dru2maBoii]

@@kellygreenii attraction is not a choice. Game is. While someone may inherently have the skills to increase your interest. He cannot create your interest with that skill. That's all I'm saying. Something in him sparks you. Game just convinces you to further explore that spark

[@silverkitty2503]

Dude stop kidding yourself it NEEDS to be high!

[@mannysantana]

This is all facts! I’ve been saying this for years!! You gatta show women that you’re a tough man before you show her you’re a good man!

[@georgemallory797]

I'm told I am a pretty good looking guy. For the first time in my life, I am really only interested at this point in becoming more attractive to myself. I'm watching this man's videos because it's becoming abundantly obvious the woman I have been with for almost 13 years is not someone I want to be with anymore. I want to change for the better and I've been watching her slowly change for the worse. I'm excited about becoming a much better friend and coach to myself and finally addressing some long overdue issues with how I view the world. This guy has helped me a great deal in the last couple days and I like his approach.

[@Bobafe77a]

Good for you. Good luck with the breakup.

[@Rakhilya]

Took me a long time to catch this discrepancy in my behavior where i feel my body turn to one type of men while my head tells me i need somebody completely different after beingistreated by the former type. Classic!

[@amorosogombe9650]

They want someone that sexually excites them but never say that.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

Can you guess why?

[@jennifersilves4195]

That’s what the question is- what do you want in a man? Is the same as What turns you on?

[@JJ-vp3bd]

@@sonofhibbs4425 why

[@Tallonest]

Yeah because if they do, all men call them a slut. Men posting on channels like this always have a problem with women no matter what we do 😂 can’t win

[@Pikwhip]

Absolutely correct. And when that man does those things and is attracting women to him, he has options. And when that man has options, he doesn't have to be loyal. Or so nice. Or any of those other things.

[@slixx008]

Same idea with men approching women or eyeying a woman and being called creeps. Its not the they dont want to be approached or or checked out, they just dont want those they are not attracted to, to do those things.

[@ronaldviens7862]

It's not that they don't want to be looked at, just not looked at by you even though all the flags they're flying say they're a bag hoe.