The Party: a virtual experience of autism - 360 film

[@jonahhillman6491]

One thing about being autistic is that you hear EVERYTHING. Not really that it's louder, but you just notice it. You can hear each individual voice. Not that being autistic is bad, though. I love having an encyclopedic memory and massive attention span to use on my incredibly strong interests. Even the sensory sensitivity is nice sometimes. It's incredible to walk into a forest and be able to hear every bird and raindrop around you. I wouldn't give that up for the world.

[@yoshidababies4222]

Jonah Hillman Wow amazing!

[@supramusic9667]

but living with it still sucks

[@smilev1424]

It is peaceful when upu hear all the birds although cars make me really scared, they sound louder to me and when crossing the road i feel extremely scared when ever i hear a noise similar to a car

[@bibigemini9616]

beautiful!

[@scar262]

Jonah Hillman I’m high on the spectrum I have non verbal it’s not that I can’t speak I don’t know how I would go about it everything you said does affect me more it does get louder I hear every little thing I panic

[@bigcrusty1703]

This is pretty accurate. Only difference is, there is no inner monlogue telling me what is bothering me and reading out my own emotions for me. That would actually be pretty helpful, but I'm usually too focused on making sure I'm saying and doing the right things at the right time so no one thinks I'm an alien. I usually can't pinpoint the things that are making me want to rip my own hair out, and I definitely don't realize that I am overwhelmed until it's too late and I'm hiding in a bathroom somewhere.

[@mrinfodump293]

I absolutely have the same experience.

[@maryk5375]

this was my first thought, I KNOW I'm getting wildly overstimulated and irritated and exhausted but I can't nail down specifics as to why. And yeah, a lot of my energy initially goes towards trying to talk and smile and act normal--I only end up standing silently in the corner afterwards when my energy suddenly plummets and I zone out uncontrollably

[@ellehan3003]

Exactly the same here

[@fairies-kill]

I don’t think it was something that was added to be accurate, they probably added the inner voice to make it clear to non autistics what it feels like when we’re going through this :)

[@itisdevonly]

Yes! Same.

[@molly_nap_queen]

2:13 "How does everyone else know how to act?" This one hit me right in the face. How do they know? No one has told me. They just expect me to know.

[@jacquelientje65]

THIS

[@summerluv418]

YES!!

[@megan893]

Gosh, this was rough to hear 😔 I spend so so much time and effort teaching my daughter how to play and interact. Like, I mean you really have to put so much into it. So much practice and she gets better at it all the time, but geez, it's a lot, but I hope it pays off one day ❤️

[@viennakendrick]

THISSS

[@catfancier270]

Non-autistics pick up on a lot of body language, tone of voice and learn this stuff unconsciously.

[@PageShearling]

The relief I felt when she was in her room made me feel like crying.

[@rebeccaserti5990]

Kelsey Bohay I couldn't understand why she didn't just run outside earlier

[@TomoyoTatar]

Same

[@knottypigeon719]

Rebecca Serti a sensory overload can actually block your executive functions and make you freeze. i cant explain it in words but the video shows it perfectly. it’s like you can’t move

[@dcleal658]

This is absolutely accurate. That's how I feel. Amazing video.

[@liam_er]

i do that all the time now. once i get to my calm room, i cry. its so much better than out there. i almost cried when she finally got to her room. im not legally diagnosed yet, but i know i have autism. its scary.

[@moldysourlemons]

I'm 16 and recently diagnosed with ASD. If you take this video, extend the length of the party to seven hours, have the pov be forced to struggle working on tedious assignments almost the whole time, take out the part where someone shows understanding of the pov's experience at the end, then have the pov acknowledge that they'll have to do it again the very next day, you'll end up with a pretty accurate depiction of my high-school experience.

[@themystic115demon6]

You and me both.

[@XSR_RUGGER]

Is yours a typical style high school? I'm 38 so my high school days are well behind me but my high school and the elementary school I went to were built in the 70's as an experiment in cross subject learning. They tried to accomplish and test this by, now get this, by NOT building walls between classrooms. We didn't have classrooms, we had class areas that were separated by low bookshelves that you could see over and by chalk boards and later by dry erase boards. I wasn't diagnosed back then but I have ASD and ADHD. It was always loud. I stimmed quite a bit. I wanted to play sports so I buckled down but it was rough. I think the sports helped drain some of that overstimulation but had other drawbacks when it came to academics.

[@aubreyplazafan]

Me too. I'm also sixteen and I was diagnosed with ASD a year and a half ago

[@fredchowdhury9329]

Yes

[@_je0njungk00kie]

I don’t have autism but I do have ADHD and I related a lot to this.

[@tinypirate3109]

"People will think you don't want to talk to them!" People would be correct. Lmao.

[@squiddy0520]

Tiny Pirate me: I don't Lol

[@iLikeTheUDK]

Talking to people is the most overrated thing ever.

[@roza7723]

iLikeTheUDK omg then what are u doing rn

[@tinypirate3109]

Artur I would say me too but also I don’t but also it doesn’t matter bc the time spent on trying to come up with the words is too much time spent and soon the person you want to talk to walks away and your opportunity is lost 😬😬😅

[@christinafidance340]

I’m not autistic and I CAN talk to people and make small talk, but I honestly loathe it and I’d rather not! It’s definitely NOT my idea of fun whatsoever. I’m super dorky too so it difficult for me to find people who are interested in the same things as me. So, I can def relate to the feeling of small talk as being completely pointless!

[@haybuhay1994]

When she was in her room finally-i know that exact feeling. I look forward to it each day.

[@ob7369]

Most relatable part in this video for me, is recovering from "the party". It takes days sometimes a whole week. And i get called lazy, but it is exhausting.

[@Dancestar1981]

Olivia Anne Bermudez it’s called autistic burnout and is really common most NTs just don’t understand

[@andreaking2358]

Omg maybe this is what’s wrong with me!! I have been sick for 2 weeks, following my work party. I think I burnt myself out

[@TH-lz5it]

I WISH I could hear my thoughts this clearly during sensory overload lol. My internal monologue is just internalized screaming during these situations, there’s no way I’d be able to identify every individual thing or focus on any mindfulness exercises with clarity XD

[@Thecodytree]

agreed. my mind is always going 100mph, but it gets even worse like this lol

[@phs125]

My internal monologue becomes a crowded conversation too. Multiple thoughts all coming at once, before I finish thinking one sentence, next one comes out.

[@theoneandonlyK]

for me, everything i hear seems to get a bit louder and blends more and i dart my eyes around then often look downwards and i stop noticing anything with my eyes and everything feels really fast and my memory cant pick anything up so everything just blurs, luckily it doesnt happen that often

[@glassycreek1991]

I am just trying to get into a closet or dark bathroom at this point.

[@hehheheheheehehehehehhehehehhe]

i don't get that

[@alexforshaw]

This is very well done, totally relatable as an autistic person myself. This captures experiences I've had myself very accurately. I had such a strong reaction I wanted to leave that room myself - I was feeling threatened and anxious. The sensory aspect was triggering my flight instinct. It was a relief when the scene changed to the bedroom - so much calmer.

[@Lilgoth89]

yeah i could feel my heart rate going up as well, and it was only when the it went to the bedroom scene that i had noticed that i was twitching

[@May-wx1sw]

I always do when I feel the slightest time, saying that I need to go to the loo

[@mysteryjosh198]

I am autistic

[@jamiesmith2724]

I kept “pointing her towards the door with the camera” like let’s get out of here!

[@muratakcan1299]

What if you booze up to relieve some anxiety ?

[@NobodyOfTheTardis]

Please do it with parents who don’t understand, so people can see just how isolated people are, especially when they haven’t been diagnosed and the parents think they’re just being awkward.

[@jf6548]

Agreed. I've seen parents host a 6 hour long birthday party for a child with obvious social anxiety. The child ended up hiding in the bathroom when it was time to sing Happy Birthday because he was so overwhelmed. The parents thought he was just being difficult.

[@theodenking169]

The casual ableism from the grandma is a great touch

[@AllytheGumby]

ALL HAIL THEODEN KING! sorry i had to i love LOTR

[@TheIllusiveMan11]

As an autistic person, I can confirm this is fairly accurate, at least to my personal experiences. The visuals of it are exaggerated obviously, for me going to a party doesn't cause blurred vision or saving private ryan type ringing in my ears. But the feeling of being overwhelmed, of just sticking in one place or just wanting to be alone and somewhere quieter. I have experienced that, even as I am now older and much more sociable, it is still a big issue for me. And the relief you feel when you finally get somewhere comfortable and safe. Believe me that is very true. I know when I am invited to things like that, my family are not being malicious and that they just want to make sure I don't miss out. But it can be hard to say you just don't want to go to something. So yeah, this is very much true

[@nobody8417]

i think the blurring and ringing are for effect to like showcase how they feel or how time is passing by because it might be boring to have text saying that

[@TheIllusiveMan11]

@@nobody8417 Totally fair

[@zhukie]

Or keep retreating into the garden all the time to get away from having to be 'normal' around people. Or even better if you can find a cat lol

[@TheIllusiveMan11]

@@zhukie That also works XD

[@UniversalGuides]

This is how my anxiety attacks feel. Your heart races, you hear everyone talk at once. Feels like a heart attack, then the blurry vision kicks in. It's damn near identical to what this video shows. If you did a shot of adrenaline and put this on it would be pretty spot on..

[@mksabourinable]

Difference is that for autistics it never stops. And the sensory assault that you get when anxious? Is our lives 24/7. Your anxiety causes the sensory overload, for use the sensory overload causes the anxiety. And then because we're anxious it all just gets worse and worse, until we just can't cope anymore and we have a meltdown or a shutdown.

[@LuvFearlessly]

Kye Talks some people have anxiety severely enough that it's similar to this and never stops. Please don't downplay our condition when we're watching a video to try to understand your.

[@mksabourinable]

Hannah E. K. Anxiety disorders are extremely common among autistics. I have one ffs.

[@alexipoo3973]

Hannah E. K. I don't think they were trying to downplay "your" condition, they were explaining the difference between an anxiety attack and autism. You need to understand that just because you feel it is similar to anxiety doesn't mean it is similar. This video was about autism which is a completely different disorder to anxiety although most of the time they come hand in hand. When someone with any mental illness or disorder is trying to explain their experience, be it about autism or anxiety please don't derail them, let them talk about it and express themselves without it being a competition.

[@Directionless.Sponge]

I thought I'd be the only one to see the similarities between symptoms of ASD and persistent GAD. I never wanted to bring it up because I thought that may be considered minimizing the disorder, but I can't help notice that they seem to react similar and require similar coping mechanisms.

[@quack_dragon]

I am not autistic, but this helps me realize just how important it is for people to understand autism. Layla was doing an incredible job managing a bad situation, but it never should have happened in the first place. No one should feel like they're drowning 24/7. I hope more people see this.

[@antinatalist9995]

Brick uni is a nightmare- all being pestered to attend parties, sit in a pub staring at the ceiling bored followed by standing in a nightclub bored and getting cold waiting to go home after. No one seems to be interested in the subjects that they have chosen to study. Get a job on Friday and Saturday nights to avoid some of the peer pressure or do distance learning is my advice.

[@rosalisadocile8388]

Allrighty then... can someone PLEASE make a video how normal ppl experience party's? This information for neurotypicals is great!☺ but aren't there more autists that want to learn about neurotypicals?? Would you consider making a video how neurotypics experience the same party? Its good to learn about each other... i really REALLY want to understand why, especially party's and crowds, are fun to others!

[@N3ONLUV]

That would be cool, like a split-screen. The Mighty did a video on anxiety vs stress and you could see the differences on both sides of the screen

[@rosalisadocile8388]

Aeolian yes indeed! A split-screen would be great 😃 and i'm gonna search that video, i still do not know if i suffer from stress or anxiety😅

[@rosalisadocile8388]

Aeolian i watched the video! I recognise so much from the anxiety. That was a very good method, the split-screen. They should make an autism vs neurotypical series on daily life and different ways of thinking/experiencing the world😃 I would almost call this extremely necessary!

[@athousandcandles]

I'm a neurotypical who gets the occasional extreme panic attack, but often suffers a low but constant level of anxiety. Sometimes I find parties and crowds fun, for several reasons: 1. The crowd is fun if it is friendly and people are being kind to each other, I can move all my limbs freely, and there's no one shoving me; 2. If the other sensory input is pleasant to me, for example psytrance music that gets me into a pleasant trance state; 3. If there is room to dance, and other people encourage me to with no pressure to actually do so; 4. If there are other sensory inputs such as a good temperature, nice smells, and a just-right volume 5. If there's a place I know I can escape to, I feel safer. Especially if I can see the escape route. This allows me to enjoy the moment in a crowd or crowded party. 6. If people I know well and who can lead conversations in a mild manner are there. This gives me a sense of comfort and eases my anxiety about conversations with people who I don't know how to interact with smoothly.

[@baes2034]

YESSS I AGREE TOTALLY

[@whitecat1226]

I'm undiagnosed but I can relate to almost of what happened here, the sudden loud noises, the endless chattering, the feel of not wanting to socialiaze with other and the fatigue of being in a chaotic social function like that

[@karo5119]

Its the Same for me

[@importantname]

we are not all exactly the same - and yet we seem to insist that we must all behave exactly the same. Analytically that is bullying.

[@squiddy0520]

David Boson haha you said "analtypically" hahaha.....sorry.

[@theRPGmaster]

True. They agreed to diagnose me with autism although I didn't fit their criteria. Just to be able to continue going to the same school.

[@maraboumjolkchoklad475]

cake sale very funny -_-

[@heccinghecc9322]

David Boson That is true, but at least they are trying to explain autism

[@jameshumphrey9939]

behave exactly the same to each individuals understanding of expectations from their local cultural norm and conditioning in assumption of correct behavior.....you can't be bullied if you are aware that where a person is ' coming from ' has absolutely nothing to do with you only how they perceive your behavior ( from flippant judgment ) as you may make assumptions or projections of what other peoples intents are - any judgment by others of you is a bit of their illusion only really.....cheers mate !

[@SydneyBrooks1]

i've never seen something so realistic and accurate to what i experience every single day. i wish everyone could see this video so they could understand what we go through. i wish i had this kind of support growing up.

[@Unprotected1232]

Fascinating audio-visual experiment. You should continue this with a series on mental health and well-being.

[@daliahcardenas6809]

Id really like to know how a schizophrenic thinks and feels.

[@FiveGeeksBlog]

Agreed!

[@mgd6087]

They are starting to do these with other conditions. Look for the 360 or 360 degrees.

[@maxhamlin636]

This is what people like me go through. It is hard, especially if you are not diagnosed like me. People don't know why I act the way I do. I do but they don't listen. They think that me thinking that I am autistic is really unrealistic. They say things like you don't seem autistic or you can not be autistic but they don't do their research. People don't understand that it is a struggle being afraid to talk or to even look people in the eye. I have to guess what people are going to say and formulate something for me to say back. It is a struggle, especially when people don't believe you.

[@adjoint_functor]

I don’t know if you’re in the same place 3 years later, but even if you aren’t, you’re valid. This sounds exactly like my experience, and I’m diagnosed, so I can’t imagine how much worse it must be for you. Whether it’s gotten worse or better since you wrote this, please know that your autism is real, and that YOU ARE VALID.

[@elmondo-s1e]

I tried to talk to a gp about this when I finally got the courage. The girl I spoke to (over the phone) literally asked me if I had any friends. I told her I did. So she then said that I’m not autistic and I should go talk to the Samaritans 🙃 so I think I know where you’re coming from. Without a diagnosis, everyone just assumes you’re neurotypical even though you know there’s something not right. I hope you’re doing ok wherever you are 😊

[@angusperson4222]

any progress on getting a diagnosis?

[@resurgentgravy]

Y'know, i think i'm going through the exact same scenario now. been thinking for a long time that i have something outside the norm going on in my head based on reading i've done and people i've listened to, ticking off the boxes as it were. never got myself an appointment to get checked out though because i've always felt it was conceited to take myself to be looked at. now over the last few years it has come out that i have quite the strong family history of mental health disorders and my mum actually helped talk me in to booking the appointment. so i guess in 2 months i'll be back to let yall know what they say

[@mehakjain320]

@@resurgentgravy hey, how did it go?

[@arsonzartz]

the thing about the food touching eachother, i felt that on a personal level. i cannot eat food touching food i dont like. people are always like: "just eat it its still garlic bread!" well that garlic bread was touching greenbeans and now it has a drop of vegetable juice on it, it wont taste different but the thought that it will makes me not eat it.

[@apricot84]

Wait it won’t taste different???

[@categorille8330]

I like this. But I don't think this should be generalized, as autistic people each have a very different personality as well.

[@cdcs_edits]

Arakniode YES

[@PurpleLightningYT]

Yeah that is true.

[@the-doubting-thomas62]

?

[@PurpleLightningYT]

@@the-doubting-thomas62 He is saying that poeple should not think this is all autistic perspectives but other poeple have there own personality of autism.

[@the-doubting-thomas62]

@@PurpleLightningYT Yeah but i don't understand why he commented that, like?

[@WilDBeestMF]

This video is absolutely a triumph. This must be so terrifying at the best of times. I loved this. Side note. I'm ADHD and the 3D thing kind of threw me for a loop and I had to watch several times to grasp. I feel your pain from the other side.

[@EmmyHucker]

This is really eye-opening. I had no idea Autism could be this stressful! Well done for sharing educational media, it is fundamental to my understanding as someone who doesn't experience this.

[@fictionfatale3913]

Emmy Hucker this isn’t what autism is like atallllll, well for me anyway it might affect other people differently

[@N3ONLUV]

This was pretty accurate for me, I hate parties. Would you like to share how it affects you?

[@fictionfatale3913]

Aeolian it’s not that I don’t hate parties (I just combact the social anxiety by chugging vodka and getting extremely drunk within the first two minutes so I don’t have to speak to anyone ahaha) it’s just that I didn’t think it was really how they described it. Like for me it’s the worry of making “normal” and logical conversation, rather than what everyone else is doing if that makes sense

[@july6949]

Aeolian i also HATE parties, or going to the mall, park, cinema,etc. but really, the way the video put it is not very accurate, i mean, the spectrum is very wide and vague but come on, the vast mayority of us can pretend to be neurotypical just fine.

[@dr2brains_]

This video is weirdly not specific, autism affects everyone very differently and it shouldn’t be generalized to autism. There are certain types of autism.

[@arsonzartz]

the blurryness does happen actually, its cause of the tears in my eyes when im overwhelmed.

[@abbykoop5363]

I am now almost 60 and have never been diagnosed, but I sure do relate to a lot of this. I can't "do" people unless it's one on one. I can't hear conversations in a crowded room. Loud noises make me want to disappear. I spent a large part of my life drinking to drown out everything, and to try to fit in. I finally realized I would never fit in. I don't consider that I have "friends", just "people I know". The only thing keeping me going and keeping me in this world have been my animals. Thanks for this experience. I totally get it. I just never had anyone else understand. They just say I'm strange and that I need to try harder to be "normal". Or they turn away in disappointment, which hurts a lot.

[@duckyduke954]

I never understood why I felt so uncomfortable at parties...now I know. This is a perfect representation of how I feel

[@catcollector1257]

I have anxiety and this gave me a headache and my face feel numb. I can’t imagine what autistic people feel internally when they experience this, I really feel for you guys.

[@wifegrant]

We have anxiety too...it is constant. My anxiety is so bad i damaged my back from tension. Right now i need surgery to fix the damage ive done.

[@kellybaker7399]

Autism-inception (I have autism and watching a vid about autism)

[@audreya7xmaggot482]

Basically

[@christopherwieland4185]

This video is brilliant and spot on. I was not diagnosed with Asperger's until a year ago (I am 57 now.) This is the stuff that really goes on inside our heads. Especially at parties. Aspies unite! Not everyone with autism will identify with every aspect of this video. Like the saying goes: If you've met one person with autism, then you've met one person with autism. Well done, Layla!

[@ZacharyRodriguezVlogs]

Great audio-visual video. This isn't what I experience, though. Autistic people experience things differently depending on which side of the spectrum their on.

[@Coco-bl8zg]

This is very true!

[@kyanite1434]

Yeah. I don’t have light sensitivity but I have sound, taste, touch, and smell sensitivity

[@anonymouswitness3835]

Thanks for saying this! I'm autistic and I was getting imposter syndrome lol.

[@wifegrant]

I get psychosis and have violent verbal outbursts that escalate. I only recently realized that I had psychosis. I told my doctor I see myself from the outside in 3rd person when im stressed. They told me its not normal. Until then I thought it was normal and everyone had it.

[@wifegrant]

@@kyanite1434 i have light sensitivity, loud noises make me get shellshock, and i cant touch some things. I feel like i can feel everything in my body. I also hate it when people touch me.

[@bastianogr4960]

It took me roughly 40 years to understand that not everyone perceives the world like this. This video is very well done and spot on. And yeah, parties are nightmares.

[@gingerconnoisseur7395]

I'm always forced to go to parties that I haven't even agreed on going to. It always puts me in a bad mood for the whole day.

[@ClownP1SS]

At least you got to go to parties. Aspergers has left me with no friends.

[@BBarNavi]

I'm not autistic and I still hate parties.

[@waddleplush]

I’m autistic and for me it depends. If it’s something that I host or that my parents host it’s ok since you know what’s going to happen but with others parties it can be quiet and nice (very rare) or EXTREMELY LOUD WITH NO WAY OUT *AND IT SUCKS* (very common)

[@mahatmaghandi4288]

@@ClownP1SS So true, i'm sitting here thinking "you should be grateful". Many with autism live extremely lonely lives with no way out, ending in addiction and/or suicide.

[@qveenora3]

@@ClownP1SSthey clearly said THEY DIDNT WANT TO can you read

[@denisedusabe1187]

This video made me tear up. I'm not on the spectrum for as far as I know. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, and this is exactly how I feel when I'm triggered. Everything becomes too much and every interaction feels like an attack, even if it's my own kids trying to talk to me. And I also need a couple of days to recover. I can't even imagine how exhausting it is to have this every day of your life.

[@Liberal.Linda.]

Same! Not on the spectrum as far as I know, but definitely have a big old healthy dose of hypervigilance/hypersensitivity from CPTSD (it's exhausting every day, so I'm a severe introvert - takes a week to get over one social excursion). There are a few trauma-trained therapists who are noticing the numerous similarities between CPTSD hypersensitivity/hypervigilance and autism spectrum to try to tease out answers for both. I hope they're successful SOON. We could all use the help and answers.

[@erossore8500]

I want to cry. I’m going to show this to my parents. They may understand.

[@kmac6118]

Lily ! trixie!!! oh honeeeyyyyy

[@erossore8500]

Carameltorchthem another fan!! Ooooohhhh homey!

[@Georgielovesrats]

Same.

[@kyrstenmarie]

Watching this made me cry from the second hand anxiety

[@ajarts3]

As a teen with autism, i've never seen it done so well. This film perfectly incapsulates everything that goes through my mind at parties, social gatherings and the like. wow..... wow indeed..

[@OldChannel181]

"People will think that you don't want to talk to them" People would be correct. ME

[@mgd6087]

But you do want communication? Best advice I got for my typical-diverse relationship was to write things to each other. Texting before calling softens the surprise and sound issue and creates more autonomy.

[@SpiderkillersInc]

ah, the whole "listen to music and just be cool at a social gathering" thing. It happens a lot.

[@ryanhunter226]

Spiderkillers, Inc Didn't you comment on a Hellsing video years ago?

[@jackie-we4ep]

I’m not autistic, but the mom was so nice and it made me cry because I have mom issues. Like, my mom can’t be nice to me like that for a solid minute.

[@EdibleTrain]

I started crying because the situation felt too real. This video is amazing.

[@arcade8706]

I'm autistic and this is extremely accurate compared to my experiences

[@agnescroteau8960]

Interesting

[@Nico_DiAngelo]

This is the most relatable thing ever. My family doesn’t understand and they always make it worse

[@lisaeon9927]

This is probably the most accurate depiction of what it feels like I've ever seen. Thank you so much.

[@wemuk5170]

This depiction is so accurate. My autistic son was non-verbal until 7+ when he started making the odd sound but from 10+ he started talking & one of the things he always would say ALL DAY LONG was this line: What’s that sound? What’s that sound? He says this all the time! After a while it suddenly dawned on us: he hears everything! Literally, everything. Even the fridge’s quiet buzz not only distracted him but also caused such panic that he self-harmed. Every sound WAS disturbing! He was panicky & miserable. Now, he’s totally different. He likes parties so long as the comers are mostly familiar faces in a familiar venue & if there are strangers, he’s OK as he has learnt to focus wholly, obsessively & very happily on familiar things, familiar topics & familiar faces. His various obsessions SAVE him day in, day out & he’s so changed that an unexpected sound is no longer a source of panic but of amusement. Instead of the disturbed tone “What’s that sound?” he now emits an amused “That’s a C” or “That’s an E, mama” and on seeing my bewilderment, he smiled & added, “The bell’s an E”. I feel that autistics shouldn’t be obliged to attend a party. It’s an attack on their senses & it doesn’t necessarily get easier, unless they really want to go to it. They might, like my autistic son, when it’s at a familiar venue with a small party of familiar faces well liked. Otherwise it is a real struggle.

[@antinatalist9995]

Try telling that to the others in the office; if you don't go you alienate yourself- a list of excuses is required, but we don't like lying.

[@hahna77]

​@@antinatalist9995 not true for everyone though. Myself on the extremely functional end of autism, absolutely abhorres lying & I tell the truth to a fault, but my daughter, who is less functional on the spectrum, has adapted to lying like it's second nature. She lies constantly, even when there's no reason to and over silly things. She has to actively try to correct this daily, and says that it stems from a fear of judgement & not knowing how to fit in with others.

[@insidebest7887]

2:19 "how does everyone knows how to act" this hits 💫

[@Its_me_yourboi]

When it skipped to the room scene, i felt the BIGGEST relief of my live

[@chloescove2790]

I probably shouldn’t watch this for I have autism but hey I wanna make sure y’all know what we go through is correct or accurately shown Update- yeah pretty much this is what it is

[@mysteryjosh198]

I am autistic myself and it's not easy

[@Lumie_Moth]

I've never seen a video explain how I feel more accurately than this one, I finally have something to show people that can explain better than I can, thank you

[@quietkidmiles]

"I didn't know it affected girls" literally made my jaw drop 😭

[@jessirarara]

Very relatable for me! This is why I like outdoor parties. All the noise disperses more. Makes it less stressful.

[@shouryadahiya4275]

If I had a room like that i'd like nothing more than to stay in but unfortunately I share one with my brother it's exhausting how I am always expected to talk and share my day and everything I am feeling at the moment.

[@keona9525]

This was very well made. Personally, I didn’t relate so much to the not seeing properly, but I could relate to the fact that too much was going on. Thank you for making this, honestly.

[@MichaelStephens1997]

I agree, as an autistic person myself, I don't experience any change in vision but I do relate to the fact that there was too much going on. I would struggle to listen to a conversation I'm having with all of the intense background noise and loud sounds going on. Not to mention the fact that I struggle with crowds too.

[@helenalena6193]

I couldn't relate to that either, even though sometimes I start having migraines an then my vision gets blurry because of it. But it doesn't always happen.

[@buddinglight]

Do you think it could be a visual representation, say in an alternate interpretation, of her brain not being able to or her body not wanting to focus on visual stimulus so glossing over it, glossing over this bit or that bit that is painful or messy/too complicated/too involved/uses all the energy/intrudes into your soul and body and mind, but the only way to represent this visually through the medium of film is to do so like this, as if the people are vague or a suggestion though you know they are there you can't pay attention cause it's too much and everything and leaves nothing for you/of you? So, like, she can't switch off the bits she wants to switch off so her body takes control to do what it feels necessary to block the most immediate threats or intrusions or something? It's a spectrum so it is different for everyone, but do you think it could be like this for some people? Everything is there, but there is a wall that can come up that means she can't order stuff from important to less important any more because of various factors? :)

[@hahna77]

​@@MichaelStephens1997 exactly. To me it's more like when you watch those old Harlem Shake videos & too much is going on at once. It's overwhelming.

[@realazee]

Personally I have an autism diagnosis, but love talking to people, party regularly in college and go to large concerts and conventions. I hate it when people talk about my autism so none of my friends know about it and I told my parents to never share my diagnosis (they have been very supportive). but everyone has a different experience since it is a spectrum after all. I also get amplified senses when around people, but I kinda enjoy the dopamine rush that comes with it. Overall great video, but always keep in mind other perspectives exist too and we all perceive the world differently

[@guylianwashier4583]

For me, this is partially relatable. Mostly when i am at parties (Which is a very rare occasion because i do not like parties) i feel very uncomfortable, i just don't know how to act and end up staring with a straight dead face arround the room. And when i hear loud noices, and i don't know where they are comming from, i start to panic. Even i don't experience these audio overloads this heavilly, i still think that this is a pretty accurate depiction of an autistic person at a party.

[@tiamarie6719]

I have autism too, and although I can get overwhelmed in situations like this sometimes I also enjoy parties and some other similar things because I want to have fun and socialize. It's just a bit more challenging for me than others sometimes.

[@wessyde9476]

Sometimes i feel like it's impossible to say anything even a hello or Im scared to look a certain direction. People yell at me a lot because i stare sometimes and it's really hard not to. I'm not invited to hang out because I never really talk at all

[@N3ONLUV]

A lot of people who struggle with this often interact with people online :) with caution of course. There's nothing wrong with you, you just need to find what works

[@mysteryjosh198]

I hear u I am autistic myself

[@uberwachen7451]

this is extremely accurate for me. i really really wish i had someone who understood my needs that wasn't exclusively online to be honest.

[@Dan1ell]

Like how would you like that to be, specifically? If you don't mind my asking.

[@Elixa-e5z]

it's so crazy how accurate this was especially with just hearing specifically "she's on the spectrum" and the utensils dropping and then the relief of being in your own quiet room recovering from what just happened

[@GrnArrow092]

Watching through this video and moving around, I felt it. I felt the social anxiety, the feeling of feeling crowded in a room full of people, the loud sounds and especially the need to escape to somewhere quiet. I can totally relate to that. I can handle social situations, but only to a point. It's not that it's a loud place, it's just that there's too many people in one room and I don't feel that anyone is paying attention to me... so I feel the need to retreat to a quiet place. My mother feels I may be mildly autistic, but I was never diagnosed to know for sure. I wish I knew to be honest.

[@barbarasunday3514]

This has been my daughter's reality for 21 years, She was only diagnosed a month ago., she tells me this video is very accurate for her, As her mother I am overwhelmed at all I did not understand. So much makes sense to me now.

[@hahna77]

Same. My daughter wasn't officially diagnosed until high school, but then her entire childhood made sense and I have so much guilt for believing it all to be behavioral issues & not giving her the proper support. The fights every time I brushed her hair, the picky diet & food all having to be separated, the meltdowns, the stubbornness to only do things a certain way and constant questioning & arguing, the quirky & sometimes strange behaviors, not wanting any fans on or windows open, the inability to maintain friendships......if only I could go back.

[@madelinegrace678]

this is a really great video. it’s exactly what happens and when you can sort of mask it people don’t understand how hard it can be, but you also can’t be yourself because then you get excluded and bullied. it’s really tough and I wish more people understood

[@enveleptionstudios8711]

This actually made me cry, simply because I finally have the chance to be understood. I'm now diagnosed with Autism for a couple of years though despite therapy there's still nothing I can do to really express what it feels like. I do not have the blurry vision but I can relate a lot to the audio-overload, especially the "cutlery avalanche". I recently had an argument with my father in which he told me that he, unfortunately, still doesn't understand me or why I like to be just alone in my room, especially when we have guests around. He usually is a really supportive and kind person but it still hurt. I'll show this to him in hopes of making him understand me just a bit better. Thank you for creating this, I'm sure it helps a lot. Note: please don't blame my grammar, I'm not natively English

[@BBB-to4cc]

I feel such a connection to this, not the visuals though, but the inner thoughts almost exactly. Loved this, very eye opening!

[@sorchaoreilly2633]

I'm so grateful for this and for Autistic advocates and for the comments here. It really helps me learn. I wish I'd known it when I was small and been able to understand people I know better and not sound like the people in the first section.

[@Jo-kh1yo]

I got overwhelmed again when the mother put the headphones back on her. I just wanted peace and quiet at that point. Any one else?

[@apricot84]

lol it kind of depends. Sometimes I really want silence and sometimes I want one of my favorite songs for familiarity.

[@zukomomo]

Oh my gosh thank you for adding subtitles!! I don't know when you did, but I just checked back and am thrilled that my request was granted (whether or not it was in response to my request). I can't wait to share this with some of the hearing impaired people in my life!!

[@bugspray6662]

i'm crying because before i realized i was autistic, i would just force myself through extreme sensory experiences like this just to fit in. Until quarantine, i was always in sensory overload and i just accepted that i was crazy or dumb

[@alisonbrandt5901]

I couldn't watch more than the first couple of minutes - it was all too relatable (from someone who still tends to run out of the room totally freaked out when a group of people sings "Happy Birthday" to me - and I'm in my 60s).

[@----.__]

I used to wish I was normal, but then I got to know more and more "normal" people, and now I'm glad to be different.

[@aeydra]

This is TOO ACCURATE. I had to pause because just as she was describing what was coming, I already started to feel anxious. THANK YOU for raising awareness ❤️

[@maraboumjolkchoklad475]

I have autism. the cookie and the salad 'thought' is so me! the accuracy of that freaked me out XD

[@upsidedown8512]

@The Guardian, thank you so much for making this film. You deserve an Oscar. It made me realize that there is no crime in being in my room where I can be in control of everything in my surroundings. The film hits me right in my heart😢, thank you

[@eddieee2]

I can't relate to 98% of this.. I get that everyone has different experiences with their autism, but I had a strong feeling that this was made by someone who's not on the spectrum..

[@May-wx1sw]

I can at least to a half of this. Thankfully, I didn't have any anxiety attacks. But those thoughts are exactly like mine

[@Oaglor]

I can relate on the mixing of sounds and savage commentary. My vision, luckily, doesn't blur like that.

[@hexwolfi]

I relate to it pretty well; I was just in that situation a couple days ago and it was exhausting. People being all pushy because I didn't want to eat anything being as I was so overstimulated 😥

[@DarkCourtZelda]

This feels like what i experience daily diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. Its like i can hear and feel everything around me as though im watching it through someone elses eyes. Like watching myself live my life and the things happening around me are just being observed 3rd person. I was hoping to understand autism more and ended up becoming so thoughtful about my GAD instead. Interesting and useful for my specific situation i can maybe show a representation of how i feel with my mental health issues. Its hard for me to focus on people around me and i find myself being disrupted emotionally and throwing everything out of proportion. This was a great video.

[@janetcurrier1421]

This is incredible. I’d recommend it to every parent. Thank you so much for making this film.

[@juanhavas2405]

My life since childhood, well done and thank you as others cant imagine what is like. This state never stops and never goes away. imagine school... imagine life. Love and respect to all survivors. Believe what we tell you ya´ll. This is the way some of us live.

[@charliehancock5797]

One of the best I've seen. Thank you, I relate to this so closely.

[@R00-u8v]

Charlie Hancock me too I have asperuger symdrom and I hate loud noises and people I'm "atypical"

[@osaniss]

@@zinnias114 lol wat

[@zinnias114]

Åsa Persson Jesus dude this was a while ago I commented this. Aspergers is high end autism that would make you generally smarter so younger me just threw out that insult

[@osaniss]

@@zinnias114 u can still be a bad speller, have dyslexia or not have english as their first language. But i understand it you know better by now since that old comment?

[@zinnias114]

Åsa Persson Yeah dude comment kind of embarrassed me but it shows how much I’ve grown since then. The guy I replied to was probably like 10 years old. And I was 13.

[@mariusg8824]

I cried. I watched this on a Quest Headset. When the mother gave me my headphones back, I cried. I experienced many parties like that. I wished anyone had ever brought me back to my room, and gave me back my silence. For decades, I wondered why I feel like that, and now I actually experience almost the same through other eyes. Amazing.

[@okzoomer5728]

This is why I can't people; they just make too much noise. That was partly because of actual inner ear injury, but well, I still hate noise all the same. Also, this looks more like SPD than anything else.

[@shoobzzz164]

both people with spd and autism can have sensory processing issues

[@empressgeorgena311]

I’ve never felt so seen, heard or accepted - Thank you 💗🙏🏽

[@هُناعبير]

I cried watching this. We are suspecting that my bff toddler is on the spectrum and this truely brought me to tears. I can't even know what would be like for parents themselves to know that their little angles are suffering inside like that. Thank you for raising awareness like that 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@luminescent__]

Wow "5 things I can touch, 5 things I can see, 5 things I can hear". Thank you so much for this coping/ temporary grounding idea. I have never been told about or heard of this & it would've been so helpful to prevent a lot of humiliating & traumatic stressful PANIC attacks & loss of control/ shut downs I had to endure for many years in social situations. The only coping skills I've ever had were just to hurry & physically escape as quickly as possible (get away to the nearest restroom or hidden, DARK unpopulated area no matter WHERE I am or what is happening) or always have music with me (headphones & extra battery just in case). Thanks for this idea. ❤

[@DerB23]

Wow, this is really well made, I almost cried at the ending of the first clip and I constantly looked down on the floor, like I would in that situation in real life

[@rulerzreachf4n200]

The fact that mum is so understanding. The headphones and bringing cake up and letting her have as long as she needs. My mum is possibly on the spectrum too, but she STILL doesn’t understand it. She thinks I should be the same as her. I’m not.

[@EnigmaticGentleman]

This is still the only "autism simulation" ive seen that isnt patronizing, sugarcoating, or both. Especially that "ill be recovering from this for days" bit, everyone always assumes you'll be fine in a couple of hours when that couldn't be further from the truth.

[@victoriasunivers]

This is one of the bad days a of an Autistic perspective. At 3:12 this is how it is for many of us Autistic people where all the sound disappear but you still can hear the background and that is one the baddest things we can get and I get very bad headache when it happens to me much at a time

[@zukomomo]

I'm an autie woman who was undiagnosed until age 30, so I really really appreciate and love this!! However, I'd like to be able to share it with some of my family members who are hearing impaired. Could you please add subtitles? (The automatic ones just don't cut it, I'm afraid.)

[@indoorgoblin9334]

The subtitles have been fixed now :)

[@talitajames7652]

Did you show them the video? What did they think?

[@eyesonly4755]

i never thought of it like this before, but having tinnitus seems to be a saving grace for me being on the spectrum

[@noahg.6475]

Okay, seriously, I thought this was how everyone experienced stressful situations that way… I’m probably autistic but I thought that I didn’t struggle hard enough with sensory issues to be autistic but this is very similar the way I experience situations with many people.

[@garethdyos8018]

It's scary how accurate this is.

[@TheSmilingRose]

*OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY BRILLIANT!!* 😭😭😭👌👌❤❤❤❤ Whoever made this, WELL DONE. It's genius, it's scary, it's... beautiful.

[@tatianaborloz8753]

When the mom got in the house with everyone I felt like I was going to passed out on my couch.. my heartbeat and breath are still going crazy. If I had watch it in VR I would definitely had passed out.

[@lonnieh4761]

This is a video... that you can move the perspective of? You can MOVE it?! It really is 2018 I’m shook

[@johnrenzcahilig9858]

Thank you for this video. My son has ASD and I now understand why he reacts the way he reacts to things. This video made me cry.

[@shell6615]

Wow very eye opening. I always feel like a alien I do want to adapt so much ! But I know now it's better to take it one step at a time. If I'm going to be in a crowd of people i make sure I am breathing right and cause when I'm anxious i will find myself holding my breath silly right? But I do find it to help and it is always good to be with someone you feel safe with 😇 I'm going on 50 this year and still learning self awareness is so important!! Thanks for sharing this video!!!!⭐

[@lolipka]

Woah, I’m not autistic but a highly sensitive person and this was exhausting and I actually cried when she was in her calm room. I felt so sorry for her. I actually like parties but I’m socially withdrawn and I don’t tolerate really loud music.

[@lpsluna1233]

Wow... when all of the tension was building I ended up crying, it felt so real, thank you for doing this. I hope this helps people understand better, I’ve only been diagnosed for about 2 years which apparently is an early age for girls to be diagnosed (15)

[@tanyatressler3132]

I am not autistic but my 12 year old grandson is moderately autistic...he is very immature and yet he handles alot of things that I would have a hard time with such as doing unbelievable things on his tablet..I also have a tablet but have troubles on some things. He also doesn't stress on how others see him at all! He never lies and is a very sweet little guy