How Autism Feels, From the Inside | Op-Docs

What is it like to live with Asperger’s syndrome? Jordan Kamnitzer tries to answer that question in “Perfectly Normal,” this week’s Op-Doc. It’s beautifully directed by Joris Debeij, who frames Kamnitzer’s experiences and ideas with evocative cinematography and editing, giving us a beautiful but challenging glimpse into another way of being.
In a related essay, the writer Eli Gottlieb describes it as “a rare filmic experience of the sensory overload of autism … as Jordan, the articulate middle-aged subject of the film, speaks about his own condition, the music skitters and booms, rapid jump cuts intensify the sense of danger, and in this swelling moment of uncertainty, the viewer experiences a fleeting sense of what it might be like to live in a condition of permanent, anxious neural flood.”
Gottlieb grew up with a severely autistic older brother, but even after 40 years, “find[s] his emotional and cognitive process as fundamentally mysterious as ever. The impenetrability of autism, with its seemingly endless variants and its essential “otherness,” is its hallmark. All this renders Jordan’s testimony that much more useful and intriguing. He is a reporter at a hinge-point of consciousness, able to inhabit his condition while describing it for us - whether we are “neurotypicals” or lodged somewhere on the spectrum - with remarkable precision and insight.”
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Op-Docs is a forum for short, opinionated documentaries by independent filmmakers. Learn more about Op-Docs and how to submit to the series. Follow The New York Times Opinion section on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (@NYTopinion).

[@SpaceBandit666]

I really like that they focused on adults with disabilities, I oftentimes hear about children but rarely about what happens when these kids grow up.

[@pilarmontanogavira1860]

yes I do agree. although taking care of kids with autism is important,people should also focus on the adults too.

[@tomebers8683]

It's definitely hard for sure not thinking you fit in anywhere for me anyway and trying to find which path suits me as Im good at a lot of things but don't feel I'd contribute to anything as Im not good at social situations and putting my ideas forward

[@bigaaron]

Exactly

[@mossybricks8682]

Wtf is your profile picture

[@birt1023]

Plz change your profile picture

[@MattGaetzOnAWhiteFordBronco]

I'm a healthcare professional that works with children with disabilities. We need more videos like this...because as a society we are not exposed to adults with disabilities. There's a lot more understanding and resources for children, but once they're adults, they seemingly disappear from society.

[@grimtez3338]

so true

[@AurrenTV]

Thankyou, I'm someone with Asperger's suffering with this myself.

[@RealSalica]

So true !

[@madelinemarks2875]

this is so true!! it seems people forget we exist after we turn 18

[@mikeyoung9810]

Lots of people have problems that affect how they get through life and deal with others that being able to describe what it's like to live with them could go a long ways to helping those closest to us understand.

[@audreyb1621]

He was absolutely shredding that piano

[@MilesCobbett]

That's what I was thiinking. He could play in a piano bar or do a mean boogie woogie on an airport piano like the guy that does youtube videos.

[@Classicalmusicscores1984]

Autistic people are often incredibly gifted in certain fields, such as music or painting or math, but lack basic social or life skills. Its a blessing and a curse, probably mostly a curse.

[@ashleywilkonson386]

You should see me in Minecraft!

[@HaloHighlightz]

If he got a youtube channel or made an album, that's a good way to make money. I'd buy or subscribe

[@waffle2529]

@@Classicalmusicscores1984 autistic people aren’t lacking - We have different styles of communication (e.g. stimming), different life skills (e.g. special interests). They are very neutral compared to neurotypical communication styles. We communicate effectively, in different ways, and it is up to neurotypicals to learn our style of communication, etc, like they make us do our entire lives. Hope that makes sense. Autism is simply a condition that I live with that changes the way I perceive the world compared to most. This world wasn’t built for me, so I need accommodations, but that is not my fault. I love being autistic and even if you offered me all the money in the world, I would not choose to be neurotypical.

[@Amayat101]

Bro why is no one talking about how musically talented he is?

[@KnifeHex]

Because that's his obsession and a consequence of the "issue". Every aspie has something they're incredibly good at.

[@chadmcclain3462]

Right

[@KnifeHex]

@@ednabirkdale7403 more or less. Aspies tend to obssess about things. "Normies" just focus on life trivialities instead, so they rarely compare in anything anywhere if you compare both groups. This is very sad but it is the truth. When it comes to excelling in anything intellectually, the aspie will always be ahead... and that is part of the so called "issue". Aspies prefer to obsess about their favourite things rather than socializing and go out for a coffee which you can brew at home anyway. The non socializing part of the aspies hel on this quite a bit, as aspies do not waste time on that at all. 1 hour here... 1 hour there... and at the end of the year the aspie is ahead by 1 week. This is how it piles up. Take a look around and study known ASD sufferers and you will know what I am talking about. (Steve Jobs and that whole subgroup.) So no. It is not the same as someone who "likes" to do something. Aspies obsess about things they like. That is what makes them different. Steve Jobs is a perfect exemple. The guy spent almost 1 day deciding which shade of gray the apple store stairs should use. That represents how aspies function pretty well.

[@marcydarcie5884]

@@KnifeHex no they dont, that's a misconception

[@rolandasgrigaitis708]

because he's not talented, he's just an actor.

[@mazzy2415]

“Isn’t it nice when you hear the church bells ring? It reminds me of you.” Such a simple yet deep way to explain love towards another.

[@DominiqueKooper666]

right, that's really really sweet.

[@dacealksne]

I think funeral was implied.

[@jjberg83]

That made me misty-eyed. You don't get that kind of feeling out of anyone anymore and it's so simple and selfless. Good for them.

[@RazorM97]

it was a good video

[@maszamap3888]

My hart melted

[@pilarmontanogavira1860]

I don’t really talk about this but here we go: I’m 11. I have a 16 yr old brother with severe autism. He can’t talk at all. But he makes noises and uses his hands to express his feelings and what he wants. He’s pretty difficult, sometimes. When he likes something, he does not want to do anything but that thing. If he likes a show, he does not want to change it. At all. He’ll watch it all day. He’s not the biggest fan of change. He is constantly excited. He likes to jump. And he sleeps really late, he can stay up for hours. He seems to have a high spice tolerance. He can really just eat food with a lot of hot sauce and wouldn’t care. If he eats certain foods with sugar, he’ll get migraines and he’ll be pretty upset. I taught him things, like how to play hand games or how to paint or wash his hands. And I could go on, but that’d be a lot to type haha! He may be difficult sometimes but he has feelings too. I know he loves us. And if he’s in a good mood, he’ll give you hugs. I love him a lot! edit: I’d like to add a few things I forgot to add: 1. My brother has said 2 words, but this is EXTREMELY rare, and has only happened twice! The first word he said was “Ear”. His teacher at his special needs school asked him what was wrong one day when he was in pain. My brother had said one word: Ear! I remember my family were so excited and proud of him! The second time was when my dad was trying to get my brother up for school, but then he said: No. I was sleeping at that time, and I wished I had seen it! This happened a really, really, really long time ago! I hope to see him say a word to me one day. But even if he can’t, i still love him. 2. Thank you all SO SO SO MUCH for all the replies! I love them all, you guys are so kind! One day, I’ll try reading them to my brother! Thank you so much! 🖤 3. I think that it’s not right for people to make fun of people with disabilities. Here’s something I’d like to say: If everyone had switched places with a mentally disabled person for just one day, then we as a society could be much more loving, understanding, and caring. edit: will delete- the reply section has a few users who are saying terrible things to bully others. please ignore the hate, guys, even if it is hard.

[@aliciamontero7061]

You are a great little sister !!

[@pilarmontanogavira1860]

Alicia Montero thank you so much!! :)

[@abdu-alrazakalmi9858]

you are kind little sis and I'll bet he appreciates you even if he didn't show it, you both are still young, with time his struggles will teach you different lessons than most, and hopefully, you'll share them with others one day. keep smiling 🙌

[@pilarmontanogavira1860]

Abdu-Alrazak Almi thank you so much for the encouragement!! :)

[@tailsntrails]

You are a wonderful sister❤️

[@2508488]

i hate having autism. i can feel my brain lag alot and it breaks my heart. going to move back to my moms house because she is the only person i know who will actually help me snap out of my brain being stuck or turned off for days. i hate that i feel ashamed because i am 27. i see people with “normal” brains and it looks so freeing. i feel like a prisoner in my mind. hoping ill be ok ❤️❤️ sending love to him and her in this video!’ they are wonderful

[@Footrotflats251]

i feel like im in the same boat, expected to live and work normal then nothings normal in my brain i kinda want to go home too

[@aahpuuh]

hoping you are both doing better now and things have changed since writing the comments. just know there is no shame in seeking refuge in a safe place. indeed it is a very wise thing to do.

[@aubreydanae3637]

i hope you’ve found a place in which you feel safe and can explore how capable you and your brain are! sometimes we need support and there is no shame in that :) i currently live in my family home with my husband, and although it’s challenging at times, being able to not worry about rent or going hungry has given me the room to find habits and routines that allow me to take on the world with my funky brain 😎 i hope we both get there! sending you love

[@prerana1765]

sending you love and hope

[@Cauldron6]

I’m rooting for you, friend. You’ll make it through the struggles.

[@thefuturist8864]

“The horse was then taken away” I can’t emphasise enough how this statement sums up the experience of autistic people. We find something that makes us comfortable, often in a situation that is extremely stressful, and other people actively prevent us from doing it on the grounds that we should be ‘normal’. From an early age I experienced ‘normal’ as like a kind of regime imposed upon people, that some of us are better equipped to tolerate, but it still seems to be imposed rather than emerging from the way people interact with each other and the world. It’s like we’re being trained.

[@detscadosu2465]

I had the same thought, that part broke my heart. Those teachers thought they were doing him a favor by taking that horse away from him. I will never understand how people can think they are doing good by actively doing evil

[@curtispaul9717]

@@detscadosu2465 that was not an evil act. I'm autistic, and I can tell you from personal experience that autistic adults who are undiagnosed and unware can also make drastic and counter productive decisions that negatively impact the autistic child. Ignorance simply means lack of knowledge. This is why it's more important for society to be aware then to cure the autistic persons condition as environment and culture is often what can make or break an autistic persons life experience. Having the rocking horse was good for the boy, but the adults in the room simply did not have that knowledge, that awareness.

[@detscadosu2465]

@@curtispaul9717 I guess, but from a philosphical perspective perhaps it is. The child may perceive it as so, so perhaps ignorance leads to evil deeds. Idk maybe I'm just resentful because I was also "taken away the horse" many times in my life for my own good, or so I was told, and I was diagnosed just a few years ago

[@kamilla1111]

I pulled my son from school for exactly this reason of them constantly trying to “normalize” him. The idea of not being normal is so negative. I want my child to be empowered to be himself. Not diminished. He has more human qualities than all the educators combined. He is so beautiful in his mind and heart. I’ve decided against all traditional approaches. I choose to trust my heart. Every loving mother should. Don’t let them distort our beautiful children’s true essence. They are made of pure love and only love and patience can let them flourish.

[@companytime]

Well I'm glad to hear that because I do everything possible to create an environment for my sons to be able to live out all the things that make them comfortable. Sometimes when I bring the groceries in, there is one bag that one of my boys will insist is set out on the front step. I don't know exactly why, but I don't fight it, and I figure out how to get that bag in the house later. Sometimes we do work on "getting through" something, but I don't really press that. As their parent, I often feel that I am feeling the same feelings as them, I just have no idea how to describe it. So I don't try to "push" them or "assimilate" them. Their world is just as real as my world, and there is an intersection, and I do my best to find it everyday.

[@KittyPieVibes]

“Am I a lousy girlfriend?” “Not at all, don’t put yourself down.” 😭😭😭

[@gloriaowoses5263]

So heart-endearing.So much care for his girl.❤️🥰

[@dianalevans9125]

I know right I caught that too beautiful. I'm not sure she caught it and she was talkin

[@ImSimplyAHuman]

Their kindness to each other is beautiful ❤️

[@alexmendez9627]

Me 2 😢 Such wonderful couple

[@meanwhileinjapan2265]

"Am I a lousy human?" no your ok "me talking to myself."

[@OmegaWolf747]

I'm glad he and his girlfriend found each other and can support each other in this difficult world.

[@Openmindallthetime143]

I dont have autism but my son does and i hope he has an amazing life as for me what i do have is depression anxiety adhd and god knows whats undiagnosed but its really hurt me just being me and nobody should feel unaccepted or emotionally hurt and i do frequently look me up on facebook if you need to talk vrg kard message me if you need to talk.

[@theyancollyer5671]

@@samuel2000w1 wtf is wrong with you? Have some respect.

[@samuel2000w1]

@@theyancollyer5671No. its gross

[@gf3506]

@@theyancollyer5671 There is nothing wrong with Keenai. She actually looks masculine.

[@Demiurge66]

Lmao I can’t even get a gf, jokes on me.

[@KleinOfficial]

It must be pretty difficult to live in a world that isn't designed with your needs in mind

[@jennyhughes4474]

Yes, it is: I've got an acquired brain injury and almost everything is inaccessible for me = especially complicated info such as transport timetables & including financial/insurance/utilities & also government systems = registering car, benefits, social services, what dental treatment is covered/not, mobile phone contracts, taxation systems... And I've lost my previous good math/s skills = I get brain-burn trying to do that & terrible online forms & so much more = too much & I go into meltdown. I feel like an alien in this too-fast, too-busy, too-noisy, too-complicated world = it's exhausting and all this overload makes me cry & feel useless & stupid & puts me into despair because I've lost my autonomy & independence.

[@ODonthebeat]

exactly. I understand the point of the video but everything cant be made to everyone's needs.

[@jennyhughes4474]

​@@ODonthebeat The best way to start is to SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING & make sure everything is fit for purpose and has no unnecessary extra pieces/tasks and so on & make things/systems ADAPTABLE & RESPONSIVE = this will help everyone and save loads of OUR money.

[@LLindsey1427]

you have no idea

[@racebiketuner]

It's 150 times worse than most people can imagine.

[@firecrotch920]

The fact that they resort to be as nice as possible, as kind and warm and encouraging to each others as possible giving that everything else is already a struggle as it is, makes my heart melt

[@daniely1203]

9:51 Disabilities are secondary, but we are people first. Ahh, so touching.

[@Patrick3183]

Daniel Y lmao!!!!

[@raphpadaze8087]

wrong

[@cs5384]

Do I sense sarcasm? lol yeah I'm for identity-first if that's how a person identifies but not everyone identifies as identity first. ;)

[@pilarmontanogavira1860]

Raph padaze how?

[@howmathematicianscreatemat9226]

@@raphpadaze8087; you mean economically?

[@supadave422]

Seeing them struggle to afford those groceries hurt me

[@africanqueenmo]

I think maybe its an issue of not being able to understand how to budget I know a person with this condition that doesn't understand money and can't remember how much things cost. It's a disability too

[@missflorencek8569]

I would have paid if I was there. That was hard for me to see too.

[@dianalevans9125]

Yes tore my soul but some weeks I have no clue of how Ill eat. Yet, I wished I could Bless them. Its a hard thing to desire or need yet cant afford.

[@dianalevans9125]

@@africanqueenmo youre absolutely right. However, even in budgeting I only live off of 750 a month and sometimes you want to cook a special meal or eat out. Its often more month than money.

[@acroamaticeeore]

They're actually struggling much less than most people with such quirks. Firstly, they actually understand going over the budget. Second, well, many adults with disabilities are simply... locked up. Or live in... dire circumstances.

[@Myview246]

Hes got a job, a girlfriend and an independent life. Good on him.

[@PersianImmortal514]

Elon Musk has Asperger's too. and he has an unimaginable empire

[@psychedelictacos9118]

@@PersianImmortal514 They may not be diagnosed but it's speculated that Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are on the autism spectrum. Hardly surprising given that the tech industry is full of Aspies, often demonstrating superior levels of systemization giving rise to great technical talent in programming, science and engineering fields!

[@PersianImmortal514]

@@psychedelictacos9118 elon admitted it

[@psychedelictacos9118]

@@PersianImmortal514 true, Elon is the only one that is officially diagnosed or at least has revealed publicly that he is autistic!

[@PersianImmortal514]

sure whatever I'm not wasting my fkg time

[@5106ammieDam]

I have what is called High Functioning Autism. The problem with that is that people always second guess me, because I do not look Autistic. What they mean is they see a person who has learned to mask. It hurts because the masking part takes so much of my energy that I do not want to be around people any more.

[@huldaliljeblad3611]

I know what you mean. Its like a curse. On one hand it's an advantage because you can pass as "normal", but on the other hand you never get to know people from who you really are and you always feel like an imposter. At least that is my experience.

[@stephaniekanu3983]

I broke down this year. Dropped out of college, haven't left my house in Months, find it difficult to talk to people,....I feel like I'm just drifting. And no one seems to understand what's going on. They say I don't look like I have a problem. I look normal. But I just can't do life anymore.

[@wic17]

High functioning autism 🙋🏻‍♀️ Thanks for perfectly describing my situation/life. When you also add being a good looking and friendly, kind and self-aware person on top of all that- it’s basically digging your own grave because you’re not going to get much support regarding your autism because you’re “too well put together”.. 😢 I still remember my parent’s words: “you’re such a beautiful child..you have kind heart and great personality, why can’t you just be normal like everyone else? Why can’t you pull yourself together?” .. these words will probably hunt me for the rest of my life 💔

[@mammadingo9165]

I also feel that way I wish every one would leave me alone. I can't fit in I don't want to

[@LinnySays]

I also have high functioning autism and I've learned to mask so well I've almost become more normal than the "normal" people. It's been really hard getting help because of this and now my life has just come to a crashing halt because I'm so burnt out. Haven't worked for a year because I just can't do it anymore.

[@oldnewstock]

I have spent most of my life living with the fact I have Asperger’s syndrome. I suppose I’m one of the lucky ones, as language is my strong area. While I struggle to have ordinary conversations with people, I can still express myself through the written word. I do not believe Asperger’s syndrome is a disability, but that is a label used to describe it to the uninitiate. One day I hope people will understand that we are not disabled, we are just different. I can write an entire world into existence in under an hour, but the moment you give me a simple mathematical problem my brain crashes. If you meet other people with Aspergers, you will discover that we all seem to end up specialising in specific areas; some of us are masters of quantum physics, others can recite entire books they read decades ago. We struggle with the mundane, but excel in the unusual. We’re not disabled, just different. Different isn’t bad.

[@benblankenship4648]

I have autism too , thanks for sharing ! Totally agree !

[@deardeer1469]

Exactly! That should be everyone's attitude

[@Paula-yl5gq]

Aspergers is a disability - because despite you being good in an area, it makes it difficult in others. The sooner you accept it as such, the easier it'll be. I'm disabled and I'm okay with that.

[@atrxespi8735]

thank you for sharing this!!

[@FruityVeggieHead]

I’m really good at design and painting and I have an extensive knowledge of the history of theatre, architecture, their relation to one another. I still have debilitating pain and frequently lose fine motor control of my fingers. Just because I excel in one area of my life does not mean I am not disabled. You don’t have to be able bodied to be excellent. Denying a disability won’t help me, all it would do is make my life harder because if I never explained my disability, people wouldn’t be able to accommodate the different way I work and live. When people say “I’m not disabled, I’m differently able” it just makes me think they’re ashamed of the word disability. It’s not a put down, it’s a qualifier.

[@xtymps]

This should be a full length movie. Gorgeously shot, gorgeously narrated. Gorgeous people.

[@smashingpumpkin3]

&y e. Agreed 100%, was thinking this the entire time !

[@howmathematicianscreatemat9226]

so you thibk attractive neurotypical women would date them?

[@grendelum]

I’m interested to hear what the interests he has that he doesn’t think others would appreciate...

[@lina987]

How mathematicians create maths Oh yes, they for sure would and do!!

[@papayorgy5875]

&y e. HONESTLY!!!!!

[@maddiesnow8806]

I cried when Toni said the church bells reminded her of Jordan 😭 What a beautiful compliment. I hope one day someone will hear church bells and think of me!

[@earthumbrella]

I’m on the spectrum and so is my partner. Watching these two reminds me of us. I hope we can grow old together like this.

[@user-dj4yb8ur3j]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.

[@zackarrazolo970]

when she told him that the bells remind her of him, he smiled for the first time in the video. it was a real smile too because you could see it in his eyes.

[@amandamarquez1576]

“Disabilities are secondary. While we are people first, you don’t see a disabled person. You see a person with a disability.” What a Beautiful and true statement. Let this remind us to keep our minds and hearts open.

[@sweetnsour5661]

I was listening to him say that right when I was reading your comment. It is such a beautiful way of explaining it.

[@nichollsdylan]

ok sooooo... that’s kind of not a great way of looking at it maybe. I am autistic myself. You should not separate the person from the disability. You should not try to “find the person within the disabled brain”. They are the same thing. The person is the “disabled brain”. People need to learn to see (disabled people), not (people with a disability on top of them.) I know I’m kind of repeating myself a lot here, but do you see what I’m saying? Disability is not a bad thing. The society we live in does not accommodate disabled people, but disability is not inherently painful. I think. I’m kind of undecided on this, honestly, but autistic people who are more informed than I am have this view. I just have to straight up disagree with the “disabilities are secondary”. They are primary. They are just as primary as everything else about us. So weather or not they are inherently painful, they are who we are. A lot of the things that I do would be done completely differently if I was neurotypical. The fact the man is this video speaks differently is not in any way bad. It is a different style of speaking which should be embraced by others. Let’s say he’s more likely to get in a car crash because of being autistic. That would make his autism a bad thing, right? Not quite. Roads and cars were just designed with non-autistic neurotypical people in mind. But how could we possibly make cars and roads with autistic people in mind, right? I’m not really sure, but just because I can’t think of it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. If we had all the top car and traffic specialists/scientists since cars and paved roads were first invented come together to put the same amount of effort into autistic accessibility versus nuerotypical accessibility, they would come up with many different ideas. But we’ve never done that. Because our society sees fundamentally different brains and fundamentally different bodies as side effects of being human rather than inherent qualities of what it means to be human. If society is meant to accommodate humanity, it is meant to accommodate disability as well as non-disability. See what I’m saying? This is something that I still get confused by in some ways so I don’t blame you if you are confused/have questions. But hopefully this opens up your brain to the possibility that there is a better way of thinking about disability.

[@michaelcaza6766]

Your ableist view is not helping things! My autism is not separate from who I am! It’s not something I can put aside, when you see me you see my autism!

[@michaelcaza6766]

me I kind of said the same thing, but couldn’t get the words out that well. Thankful you spoke out too.

[@michaelcaza6766]

Amanda Marquez doesn’t excuse anything

[@Radical_Cat]

First of all his piano skills are AMAZING, and secondly, that scene where Toni calls him into the kitchen to play that little game of "JORDANN!!.....I love you!" is just so darn sweet. You can really see Jordan's true personality here and they seem to have a very loving relationship.

[@user-dj4yb8ur3j]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.

[@craig7021]

I hope that girl at the store gets a raise, she was patient and respectful, wherever you are miss, I hope you're doing well. World needs more people like her!

[@organiseduser7216]

Who would dare being rude with a camera team next to you

[@RG60Ibanez]

Having worked in retail myself for a number of years, I can say that this is not even at all a difficult experience. I used to get annoyed when this sort of thing would happen because I feel it would hold up the line that I had to get through, But then I later came to appreciate these moments as a reminder to slow down in life. And appreciate people who are different. And it wasn't until recently that I realized that I am ASD as well.

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

@@RG60Ibanezthat’s so wholesome omfg

[@rizzo-films]

@@RG60Ibanez you were good at your job. It's nice to see this kind of behavior because so many people in retail or who operate a POS system / are customer-facing do not have patience. So many barely acknowledge your existence, and if something you do or ask for detracts from their normal robotic operations of "scan object, put in bag, take money, next customer" where they actually have to listen to you and help you out, they'll give you an attitude. I had jobs like this most of my life and did my best to be patient with people, but it can be tough. Some people don't even try.

[@user-dj4yb8ur3j]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.

[@SublimeLullaby]

A walk at 5 am sharing an ice cream with your partner? Yes please

[@sammytheusername6818]

that’s when I go to bed at 5 am

[@davidm4677]

Walk at5 am would be fine but don’t know about ice cream maybe if you want one

[@wa77iok20]

This is unrelated to the theme of the video, but whoever shot this did a great job.

[@DerAua]

Agreed.

[@dianalevans9125]

It's related to the video and I agree

[@ohwhatworld5851]

I totally agree. It made me want to start studying cinematography, on top of the 1000 other things I want to do haha

[@myearshurtnoone1367]

i agree it gave me as Wes Anderson vibes, very beautifully put together and in doing so grasping the attention of more viewers and bringing more awareness to the cause

[@eloy89]

Joris Debeij is the director, Marieke Oudejans and David Weiner are the producers and Nate Hurtsellers is the cinematographer

[@kain4451]

I broke out crying watching this. I have adhd, which I would say isn’t as bad but all mental disorders are bad. Watching someone else struggle in society because of a disorder really hit home, It hurts me to see people with disorders because I can see myself in them.

[@hazyday8736]

Adhd and autism are not mental disorders

[@melonkittyy]

ADHD is just as bad, but presents in a different way

[@azloii9781]

No mental disorders are bad

[@GottaLovePartyin]

I understand what you were saying ❤️ both adhd & autism can be challenging, and isolating. recent research & discourse shows they have overlapping symptoms. growing up, neurodevelopmental disabilities like autism & down’s syndrome were portrayed as much more serious; I would only see representation/discussion about them related to people with higher support needs. adhd was stereotyped as “people just being lazy,” or “a disorder kids grow out of,” but lots of people with adhd experience similar daily challenges to those on the spectrum. anyways, I hope you know that you are not alone, and that you are not “wrong” or “bad” for existing as you are. ❤

[@azloii9781]

@@GottaLovePartyin Everybody needs a friend like you I'm literally crying right now

[@nagyesszep]

"It reminds me of you" the most genuine, loving sentence ever.... I want what they have

[@maxk880]

Trust me, as someone with adhd and autism, you DEFINITELY don't want it

[@Stierenkloot]

I guarantee you that was staged

[@DereBear]

When their relationship started being shown my heart absolutely melted. I know people on the autism spectrum have hard times making connections so when I see someone on the spectrum who has found their someone, it makes me tear up a little

[@trashbasket11]

This is so condescending like I know you mean well but Jesus

[@DereBear]

trashbasket how? Everyone has things they have to overcome, and I’m genuinely happy he overcame his stuff. The video starts off with him talking about his loneliness and his isolation, then we get introduced to his partner. It’s a feel good moment.

[@ravengayle8498]

trashbasket one of the characteristics of autism is trouble with social connection

[@TakiMomoify]

I’m almost 26 and have never really been in a relationship because connecting romantically with someone feels almost impossible. I tried a couple times and felt terrible because I felt like I was wasting their time so I gave up. Maybe I’ll find someone in the future who I can get close to but I just don’t see it happening for me. I’m at the point in my life where I could probably never date and be okay with that, but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on something wonderful and..that really sucks sometimes. I personally didn’t feel like this comment was condescending at all, it’s a blessing that they found each other!

[@doctorspaceman8137]

My husband and I have been together 10 years! Quality over quantity. I've known him since I was 13 and we were best friends first. We've never lost it. That's how you know it's good. 🥰😻😌

[@jessieamaya1110]

I have Aspergers and not many people would even know I was diagnosed early on so I had a lot of work I had to do. But I’m not gonna lie it hurts when people make fun of autism it makes me feel uncomfortable

[@Rasmus230100]

jessie amaya i agree

[@LaurenMca]

Same

[@athanasiuscontramundum4127]

It is cool having something and then it getting media coverage. People ask me sometimes “if you could cure your autism, would you?”, and I always respond with no, because it changes who I am.

[@Gamenetreviews]

I have Aspergers as well and I feel like it’s really not that bad as far as possible disabilities I could have. Plus I get some free crap from the Americans with disabilities act.

[@msoda8516]

jessie amaya You are wonderful and remember our differences are our super powers.

[@sheldonconk9526]

"I've had cases when I've been turned down quietly." 🖤

[@lizprice8783]

Omg, I wanted to cry when they had to put some things back. It's not a good feeling and something that was really embarrassing to me as a kid. He was so ready to make that tough decision. If I was behind them in line I would have covered the rest. They're absolutely precious, I hope they're doing ok right now with the pandemic.

[@quynhchipham7677]

Yesss i want some update 😭

[@merrynothing3204]

@@angelinasouren In a way, yes. Things that would make "normal" (I don't believe in normal) people feel ashamed to the point of even not doing the best for themselves due to shame can be done easier for other people - I'm autistic. Some practical things are just it - practical. Doing groceries sometimes I have a calmer way to look at things when they're on the ... moving thing (? I forget words lol) I think "Oh that was so stupid" so I say I don't want it. Because to me, I can barely stay sane in an environment with fluorescent lights or shopping centres etc, so I rush to the point of sweating and working out and only then do I have some time to really focus on what I got ahah I see way too many people frustrated with their lives because they're worried about what other people think if they were just direct and honest and I really don't understand that... I'm not rude in anyway and I understand nuances but being honest and kind is really easy. On the other hand... in my case it's difficult going outside. Being outside. Seeing people around, cars, sounds, lights and shapes. So I need "protection" for a 2 minute walk (earplugs, hat, sunglasses) to spare exhaustion. And to someone without this issue it might seem impossible to understand it. All in all, we all are pieces of the puzzle of humanity. We have our way to be, and we compliment each other. My weakness can be your strength and vice-versa. And while yes, I do suffer with it a lot, I can see the positives and I really enjoy the freedom of honesty and not able to lie. If it wasn't for my "weird" transparency I wouldn't have connected to the people I love the most - those who are like me and connect because, as "normal" as they might be, they rarely find honesty around them.

[@merrynothing3204]

@@angelinasouren Shame and guilt are emotions that serve no purpose in our lives. They are not "action" feelings - you can't reverse any situation or make it right because it's done already, they're just weight on you. Pretty useless, no purpose for them. Remorse helps to do better next time. Shame and guilt get you stuck. They come from really old religious/spiritual beliefs about "punishing yourself" to make up for sins or acts that were deemed wrong. Whenever we don't do something benefitial to ourselves in fear of "that would be weird" we are caving in to something primal that is only hardwired through culture and structures to keep control over societies. Don't cave in. In the example of the cashier, they'll go home and not even remember it, they'll remember a rude comment or a nasty person. A respecful person will be remembered with a smile. And the strangers that might see it? They're nothing to you. They will not keep that memory. Only you will (if you feel shame of it). If you're doing the best for yourself, being honest and never rude, that's what you should do. Wishing you the best x

[@merrynothing3204]

​@@angelinasouren That's hard to hear... Because it's not malicious but can certainly lead to bad consequences and indicidents. And there isn't malice in it. I hope those people had someone explain to them why they did something wrong - in a calm way without judgement. That is very much needed. While it is a stupid myth that autistic people don't have empathy, I can see where the stereotype of "rude and disrespectful about others" came to be. And these days people throw around terms like "sociopath" without giving it a thought so you can have someone absolutely clueless of their behaviour being shunned and called "a psycho" or "weirdo". I think that is why the only times I comment on any social media thing is to make some things clearer about behaviours. If you ever find yourself watching a behaviour that can lead to negartive consequeces, let them know. Without judgement. I asked the closest people around me to warn me immediately when I say anything that might be perceived as rude/arrogant/insulting even if it's just a talk between me and them - I've learned a lot about myself and it has helped a lot! I also learned how freaking annoying I am to the point sometimes I lose patience with myself! Writing way too much to get the message across is part of it and I'm doing it right now but I'm working on it. I have an irrational fear of being misunderstood - I used to be very clear and concise and people would think I was attacking or something so I developed a way (an annoying one haha) to not leave space for misunderstandings. I truly wish I could be more concise. I don't know how people do it - especially in texts and written communication! No mental health issue or derivation in neurology should stop anyone from pointing out to someone that what they did is not correct - and explain why. :)

[@merrynothing3204]

@@angelinasouren You're very right about your views - can the world clone you so we'd have a better world? :D Indeed, I see autism as a name for a set of characteristics. I really dislike the "neurotypical vs neurodivergent". I believe we are all in a huge spectrum, it's just that some parts of that spectrum have characteristics that might not fit what society needs/wants (and it might be what another society wants and they fit fine!). It's the cultural aspect that brings these things up otherwise it wouldn't be noticed (like everything about a human being and their specificities). And you pointed an important thing - everyone will have "symptoms" of many many mental and neurological disorders or personality traits. Some people are really anxious when it comes to social settings, they might be a bit awkward - that doesn't mean they're autistic at all. Everyone has moments like yours! I truly hate the social media stuff of "Neurodivergent people feel like" and proceed to show moments or feelings that can be felt by anyone... but that are also present in the ASD spectrum! Even emotional disorders and other issues - we all have many things in common, it's just that some people have a level of it that makes it pathological/of clinical significance and presents as a negative aspect in their life (vs others who don't feel that trait impacts their life in any way). While it's useful to use the right terms and see the variety of humans there are - which is something I LOVE! - but IMO we are over-focusing on labels and people are self-diagnosing instead of admitting that having weird and awkward moments in life... is what life is about! I say really stupid things to people on a daily basis (like your example) but I honestly relate it to being an introvert that likes being around people (low energy ones). Maybe without the autism, I'd have it just the same. I can't see myself as a list of traits. I'm just ... me. And any "normal" person should worry about being rude, etc. Sometimes I look around and see how the world truly is and I wonder if they are the ones who are divergent because... WOW! :D

[@blue-ww2zj]

Is no one going to say how good he is at piano? K well he’s good

[@donniezawadski2047]

Yes thank you !!! I am saxophonist and dropped out due to my learning disability.

[@cris_here]

Raiz a god*

[@graceharris2485]

Raiz and singing!!

[@clarissagafoor5222]

He is isn't he. That was pretty cool.

[@wabbitnred3609]

PIANO AND SINGING!

[@Nicofromtheweb]

" - I don't mind eating this at 5:00 in the morning. - Neither do I" Perfect lines

[@BosisofSweden]

In Sweden they have companies that focuses on hiring people with Asperger because it is not only a disability it is also a superpower when people are in their right element.

[@lifetimeofaspeculator5966]

yeah :) i am good at one thing only and that is emotional self control+ pattern recognition and im a happy stock trader

[@KnifeHex]

​@N V M E R I V S What segregation? Are you going to go to UEFA or FIFA and tell them that they segregated people like Ronaldo and Messi? It's the same thing here. Aspies usually are of high intelligence compared to neurotypicals, which is what makes our "social brain" go kaput during the development process. Please read more about this and inform yourself better. Here's a curious fact for you: Silicon Valley has an epidemic of aspies for decades. Why don't you go there with your ideas and tell them to stop segregating? Seriously guys... some people would be called poets if they just shut up.

[@cockycookie1]

Why can't they just be treated normally it's not a superpower and it's most likely not a disability either. It's just a difference, neither good not bad.

[@lifetimeofaspeculator5966]

@@cockycookie1 you answered your self they dont get treated normal since they are different and some require different conditions

[@ashley1734]

@@lifetimeofaspeculator5966 I have also found myself as a stock trader. This was after finding out I had autism :)

[@josefinebliss2801]

I really felt him when he said many times he feels rejected by people but he keeps it to himself. For me it's usually that I appear disinterested and i'm very quiet so people assume I wish to be left alone or even that i'm rude which is not true though often I don't have the energy to socialize but other times I do and I do not know how to let people know this. It's extra hard with social anxiety too. And in groups it is impossible because I have no idea when it's my turn to talk so either I say nothing or I interrupt people constantly, and no amount of practice seems to help. Oh well animals are totally better than humans. :)

[@petrachase2165]

Relate so much to this

[@millyseaber-shinn6109]

Thank you for sharing this. My son is 19 and I can imagine him writing exactly this. He has ASD (Asperger’s). Thank you. It feels like you have just helped me understand him. Express this to the people that love you and they will always understand ❤

[@davidm4677]

@josefinebliss2801 Have you been diagnosed? What did you described so called normal people experience all of this as well.I have developed some kind of social anxiety myself and I know it can drain your energy to properly socialise with anyone.

[@CharlieCapp]

This is my mom's very good friend. He is such an amazing person.

[@VeroniqueKowalewicz]

That’s great ❤️❤️

[@tomdawg8913]

3:24 “I’m not the rain man”. No sir, you are the piano man!

[@moon_mint]

My guy can SHRED

[@tetkai64030]

I just got my official diagnosis at the age of 29 in 2020. I cried throughout most of this video because everything was correct about the lifestyle. This helps me feel more prepared for the future and less anxious. Thank you for posting this.

[@juanluisarmandoharo2170]

good luck bro

[@eewilson9835]

Self awareness is key, but do not expect others to accept your diagnosis. Others were not diagnosed, and they will have little empathy. Stay upfront in describing the lovely benefits that come from a meaningful time on earth, your purpose for learning to love yourself is showing others how easy it is. Thanks for keeping the love. Peace.

[@user-dj4yb8ur3j]

Your herbs has work wonders in my family. Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best.

[@eewilson9835]

@@user-dj4yb8ur3j nutrition can only temporarily help and the world isn't passing out herbs to the poor, or needy. I'm glad you have a temporary solution. Best to you and your family. Peace and love.

[@shelvedrabbits]

i’m a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic & i really really identified with this video - it brings me so much joy to see others with similar neurodevelopmental disorders live full and happy lives that you previously felt you could never have :)

[@wayvescape]

The negative symptoms of schizophrenia overlap with the social deficits of autism and autism used to be considered a type of schizophrenia until 1980

[@gigahorse1475]

I have autism and schizophrenia.

[@juliediamond6017]

"I'm no Rainman" ...plays a mean piano

[@DerAua]

So amazing. He is probably completely unaware of how special it is.

[@raeperonneau4941]

Amen. Super talented.

[@7wt]

Der Aua I bet he knows but doesn’t really care how others feel about it.

[@dianalevans9125]

Ok

[@samgafford2371]

Irony

[@powpunkonwhiskey6377]

My Daughter is autistic and has more empathy than the vast majority of people I've ever come across. She too is very musical, playing from ear. I never understood autism before I had my daughter and I wonder how she'll be once she reaches adulthood but I know this for certain. She is an absolute blessing and I'm so lucky to have her! I hope I do her proud as a mother because she makes me so proud that I could burst every single day. She has opened my eyes to a world I never knew and I would do anything to make her life as easy and joyful as I can for her and yet she is the one who provides my life with these qualities. I was angry and upset when she was diagnosed at 5yrs old and yet a few years down the line, I can see how lucky we are to have such a pure soul amongst us. She'll have struggles and issues I'm sure, but I'll fight tooth and nail to help her every single day until I'm taken away from this life. Truth is, she's healed me, taught me things and blessed my life. I hope I make her as content as she makes me. Im so proud of her. ❤️

[@farfetched9296]

My youngest is autistic. Sharp mind and great words of wisdom I learn from her. I was upset as well searching for a cure when I realize it's part of whom she is but it doesn't dictate her as a person nor her future she controls that. I didn't understand at first how blessed I was to have her. It gets better and easier with time

[@joylox]

Yay for us musicians! I lost some of my skill as I grew, but nothing was really mentioned until I was 19. I was misdiagnosed with panic disorder (they thought meltdowns were panic attacks, and they're a little different as I don't think people get panic attacks because of a faint noise, or someone moving your glasses case randomly), but I went for an assessment for learning disabilities after a rough first year of university, and found out I most likely have both ADHD and autism. Music is one way I focus, and I currently own 20 wind instruments, 3 different keyboard instruments, and 2 stringed instruments. I also enjoy sewing and learned to make my own clothes which is great because I can't stand itchy tags, so I just don't put any in. I do worry about getting a job, even with my degree, that will accommodate my sensory issues, but we all have strengths and weaknesses, and if my occupational therapist taught me anything, it's that everyone has limits, we just need to have the support to help find them and manage them. For me, that includes a variety of things, from taking breaks to stretch and jump around, to deep talks with my mom, to supplements and medication (stimulants for ADHD, GABA for helping me calm down when I'm overloaded), and so far I've been managing, but very thankful for my friends and family helping me and still supporting me to take longer in my degree and do what's best for my mental health.

[@kingjames4886]

luckily autism seems to be much better understood these days and some professionals are being trained to understand it... there's still a ways to go, especially with public perception because of all the stigma and people not understanding that it's a spectrum disorder, but it will only get better in your daughters future. :)

[@feralbluee]

@@joylox so well put - glad you have friends and family - and you’re doing so well in handling your life. Do keep safe :) 🌷🌿🌼🌱🌷

[@abeck7929]

I was angry too when my son was diagnosed at four, but it was more so sadness because the world is cruel. But when you realize how truly special autistic children are. I learn something new everyday with my son. I'm teaching him how to be independent it's going well. He's learning reading and writing, he loves math also. But he struggles socially and emotionally.I love my son so much. Even with his meltdowns I wouldn't trade him for another child. I'm looking forward to raising him into an awesome adult.

[@sierralvx]

As a 23 year old with autism, this makes me feel so much more confident about my future. I'm at the point where I can advocate for my self, just like Jordan was so beautifully singing at the end! It's taken me a lot to get here and I wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for my friends who are autistic as well.

[@elephanthuntinvesting1613]

He’s got a job (which I bet his colleagues think he’s super reliable at), he got a girlfriend who calls him 7 times from the next room to tell him how much she loves him, he has his own place (granted he may have had some support to get this) he has his own cat sanctuary, a car, and sick piano skills. He seems to be living a pretty good life by modern male standards

[@reginafallangie2867]

_“Everybody does have something. Everybody’s not completely normal.”_ This is *SOOO* true. U never know the interworkings of an individual. *We all really do have something.*

[@babblingalong7689]

Indeed. It's natural genetic variation.

[@secretender3421]

I agree

[@kompst_tu]

I actually believed this before I ever heard it. Nobody's the same. Everyone's got something; some sort of way they tick. I think asperger's is just a slightly harsher variation.

[@thatbigbear6438]

I completely agree, back when I studied psychology I learned how it works, it's pretty much impossible not to develop a condition, so, we all have something. The only difference is that, some people have their conditions solved and in control as it can be hard to notice (Depending on what it is), while some others haven't gotten there yet.

[@sharonaumani8827]

Even worse, a combination of "somethings", which makes it all the more confusing and easy to mislabel or miss altogether!

[@Tr4sh_can34]

I like that they are so mature people. Many 'normal' people are far less mature

[@Oncopoda]

"Neuro typical".

[@ingridfong-daley5899]

Right? They keep themselves to a budget--such that they're willing to put things back. Self-control and forward-thinking are two things you rarely see in 'normal' people for sure.

[@MG-mh8xp]

it depends.

[@mustbemeech]

Funny how that works right lmao

[@Codename_aether]

When you have to think about every little thing you do and say and how people look at you on the daily you learn to cope, mask, and mature.

[@LukemDakuwa]

I found myself scatting with him. The man is a beaconing example of perservering in the face of a misunderstanding society. The wife is also a beacon of hope that love can survive and thrive despite whatever we're dealt in life. I wish the both of them peace in their lives together, I want to see if I can experience the unity and connection those two share as someone with autism and isolation issues. Much love to both of them and everyone else in the world.

[@sweettea3879]

This may have been the most wholesome video I've ever watched.

[@MrOliverGoo]

The way he handled the initial purchase which they could not afford was just professional. So "human" with the words he choose "we will have to do without" ... this was the most powerful moment for me. Disabilities on on hand and on the other the real world - tough with its rules and money and you either fit in or you wont survive. Strong moment.

[@cs5384]

Autistic people can be incredibly analytical like this and I think that's often perceived as that flat tone/expressionless demeanor stereotype we're all known for. Everyone sees a very calm and rational person even though on the inside there's chaos being re-ordered all the time.

[@saltandiron3379]

I agree. I was so touched by the way he verbalized sincerely and beautiful through that.

[@MrOliverGoo]

@shmokey shmokey yeah exactly - Im not on the spectrum :-) and would still panic :D

[@erickprice3836]

If I was there I would buy it for them. Lol earning over 90k a year doesn’t make me happy unless I share it with strangers. Instincts

[@MrOliverGoo]

@@erickprice3836 I thought of that - but, that would not help anyone and could even bring negative emotions to the whole situation.

[@0dd0n3]

I have Autism, I'm very low spectrum, and lemme tell my story Ironically I've always been a social butterfly, defying what autism does to people socially, but I had a very hard time keeping eye contact with people. I was put in special ed because I couldn't socialize properly and I felt even more isolated from the outside world and socialization Soon I mainstreamed myself and I got into normal classes. It was definitely scary at first and I was really clingy to the friends I made. Soon though my personality shined through and I made my own little group of my friends and I lived my life without anybody knowing I have autism One final thing I wanna mention is what my doctor said to my mom when I first got diagnosed: "Your child will have no empathy, no social life, and will not be able to form romantic relationships" Well I'm very supporting to my friends, willingly attend social events, and have a lovely boyfriend who I love so much. Sure I still get very anxious when I present in front of crowds and I still have trouble looking people in the eyes, but don't let those struggles define and overcome you. Fight the struggle but embrace your flaws, and you'll be on your way ☆

[@ShinJoey84]

0DD 0N3 That’s wonderful. Keep up the great work.

[@0dd0n3]

@Tana Thank you for sharing your story too! Who knew there would be such a lovely community ❤

[@Seeker0fTruth]

Tana / you’re amazing! thank you for sharing. I wish we could be friends... I relate very much to your experience...

[@MattGaetzOnAWhiteFordBronco]

Ugh... damnit, this is exactly the WRONG thing for a healthcare professional to say. It's best if he had said "I don't know, let me refer you to someone who does"

[@cs5384]

Fight the struggle but embrace your flaws, and you'll be on your way ☆ DUDE. That was wisdom right there. The same was said about my kid. Also "she will likely need to be institutionalize by puberty" was thrown around. No. She is smarter and more well-adjusted than me. She is more responsible than me. She is most definitely empathatic and compassionate and loving. She loves her friends and family and all our pets. She will probably do better than I ever have because I didn't give up on her like my family did.

[@marianmehew5603]

I felt sad when Jordan spoke of trying to engage with others. I am challenged conversationally at the best of times and really do struggle to keep up a conversation with someone who has a narrow field of interest. Especially if it is not one of mine. He definitely reminded me that the effort is important.

[@shyryTsr2k]

I may not have autism, yet I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (also known as Clinical Depression) and I understand how it feels to feel so very alone. And being in a constant or semi constant state of sadness and despair is very hard. I try to stay away from people and large groups. I prefer to entertain myself rather than to be entertained if that makes sense... It's difficult yet there are many others who struggle harder or much more than I, so I haven't a right to Complain. Anyone who struggled or is currently struggling I understand, and you are never alone.🙌

[@mindmaster58]

I'm an autistic filmmaker and made a shortfilm about autism some time ago. Make sure to take a look: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqOXk4tuptKYmpI

[@davidm4677]

Don’t know about you but Marijuana helps me with my depression anxiety insomnia and loneliness.

[@ramoneurrr]

you know it's a good video, when you don't want it to end.

[@kells4723]

ramoneurrr, isn’t that the truth!

[@justinrobinson9583]

yes.

[@SlamifiedBuddafied]

The way they shot this, the way the scenes are cut and music is done, to in some degree simulate and give insight into an autistic mind. This makes me uncomfortable, having been seeing this thought process behind my own to eyes for as long as I can remember. But, it makes the perception of the world interesting. But this is aggravating at times. It becomes to loud. Like a show of fireworks that's gone on for far to long. But at least this is punctuated by periods of occasional and total silence. Sometimes, for brief periods, the volume on the world is muted down. It's like the early morning before the birds wake up. The sound of the highway seems distant. The constant hum below me hushes. Those moments of clarity, however short lived, are like a little gift quietly rocking you and whispering, "Everything is going to be okay."

[@janicagarcia7725]

Everything is going to be okay. :-)

[@sebastian_thiel]

Beautifully described.

[@tinyr101]

Those moments of peace you can find in brief silence, bliss.

[@user-hq2nw9qq2v]

Same

[@x-75hurricane65]

What beautiful people. I could happily live in a world where every one were like this couple...gentle, honest, compassionate and authentic. Which is about as far removed from the majority of mankind that inhabit this planet currently. Thanks for such an insightful documentary. Cheers from NZ.

[@mlh3604]

There is something so refreshing about their presence, something childlike and sober, facing the reality that is. Love to see them. I tend to take it as normal switching through different 'circles' and losing orientation at times. To then find a renewed touch to reality again. Feels like human life.

[@thunderben8]

As someone with Asperger's syndrome myself I often feel that when the media try to show people without Asperger's what it's like tho have it, they oftent portray it quite differently from reality. However I really found a connection in this video and with this guy. He explains it perfectly and I think that this has done an amazing job as showing others what it it like to have Asperger's syndrome.

[@BigBishop609]

I was born with Asperger's Syndrome as well. At 34...I still struggle with interacting with other people.

[@impartialted4905]

Best boyfriend I ever had had Asperger's. He respected me and treated me as an equal rather than his female,his " property of. "

[@rileyanderson7379]

The man I’m in love with is on the spectrum.

[@Unaaa9]

Why did you guys leave each other if I may ask?

[@kennethcalderon1987]

@@Unaaa9 .... pretty sure it has something to do with Asperger.

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

@@kennethcalderon1987 he could have dıed too

[@fabplays6559]

@@kennethcalderon1987 Why would you assume that?? Autism isn't the only thing about autistic people. Maybe they just fell out of love over time like any other ordinary couple. Don't be ableist.

[@-kattya-]

it is heartwarming to see that they have each other, what a blessing

[@hannukka4416]

It warms my heart to see two human beings sharing tenderness, trust and love with eachother, that’s a lot more than most ”normal” people can ever have. This is pure and real. Hope you have a good life together ❤️❤️

[@MrSplonger]

I've been diagnosed with Asperger's, but unlike this man my mind would be reduced to smoldering dust made out of pure agony if I were to live according to strict routine. I've tried it as a child because it's what the experts said would be best for me, but I need change and dynamics. Oddly, routine is more confusing to me than 'going with the flow'.

[@jind0sh]

I know I'm a bit late, but have you talked about getting checked for ADHD, the inattentive type? I was diagnosed with Asperger's, but my psychiatrist changed the diagnosis since the manifestations are similar.

[@StellaCarey]

That sounds like ADHD.

[@deardeer1469]

Yeah, I'm the same. It is possible you have ADHD along with Asberger's, or maybe just ADHD. They can be very similar

[@snowlee6690]

@@deardeer1469 thay really are i was diagnosed with adhd and later found out i had aspergers instead

[@Shmyrk]

Snow Lee Same here. Diagnosed ADHD at age 8. I’m now 31 and realizing its High Functioning Autism.

[@scottm2553]

His routine feels like circles within circles and it can quickly become chaotic. That's very interesting to see how differently he relates to reality from my own experience. I can now see how changes in routine can quickly become overwhelming for him.

[@TheSeedOfChange]

My daughter is autistic and she has a lot of troubles with changes in routine and unexpected things popping up. I kind of think of it as her mind is on a track and she's spent a lot of time and energy preparing for what could happen on that track, so when a change pops up, the anxiety just becomes overwhelming- like a train going off the track. She's a very happy-go-lucky kid when she's not feeling that anxiety of changes or triggers popping up. But when she's in a high anxiety situation and unsure of what could come up next, she is quiet, reserved- she has sort of a deer in the headlights look on her face. I can only imagine all the sensory and anxiety overload happening in her brain. Autism is such a fascinating disorder- I just wish I could experience what she does for a day so that I could really understand and help her more.

[@scottm2553]

Thanks @@TheSeedOfChange for sharing :) I'm glad to see more people talking about autism in the recent years and hope the conversation continues to grow to help the general population better understand autism.

[@ampa-3612]

@@scottm2553 The only part of talking about autism that is bad is people convincing other people that vaccines cause autism with "facts" from their "REasEarcH"

[@renatusrecords242]

Scott M Life is basically that way for everyone its how your mind is able to cope with it

[@scottm2553]

@@renatusrecords242 I don't agree, it's different for those with autism.

[@jodyscott2802]

5:06 that was really sweet. I’ve been thinking about how often some families say they love each other, especially since I just had my first baby. I think it’s really important to say it often to your family and loved ones.

[@Leo-zk9rd]

What a beautiful relationship they have. That part with her saying "I love you" several times reminded me of my little sister. She has autism and does repeat a lot of statements. This video gave me hope for her future and it made me smile. And the part with the groceries :( I wish I could have helped pay for them. I have been hungry in my life too and I would love to donate to them if it was possible.

[@ojitosrodriguez114]

The repetition of phrases is called echolalia, very common with autism.

[@sentient02970]

I love how touching and so openly humanistic this is. More KZbin like this.

[@keerthana5188]

He's got a great knack for music and is exceptionally good at playing the piano and his wife is so loving. They're perfect:))

[@bannappleblonde]

The piano playing gave me chills!

[@DerAua]

@@bannappleblonde same. It may be a way to share his emotions between him and us neurotypicals.

[@charliefrmdamoon]

Grateful for having been allowed into your lives these past 12 minutes Jordan and Toni ♥️ Wishing you all the best.

[@JodieTarot]

As a mother of 3 amazing autistic son's I hope for my boys to have incredible relationships like this, the love, joy, support, gratitude, understanding & stability they bring to eachother is so touching to see. Absolutely beautiful, thank you x

[@acalisweetheart8007]

I have two children on the spectrum. My oldest is nine now and was originally diagnosed as having Asperger's. But I was told recently that the community doesn't use the word Asperger's any longer. His 6 year old sister who received early intervention is doing great. Both of my children have reached goals that I was told they never would like speaking, potty training, hugs. I'm proud of them everyday. And this video and others like it give me hope for my children and their futures.

[@bread9173]

Yeah they stopped diagnosing aspergers and just put it under ASD. You’ll be surprised what your children can do. My brother is a bit more severe than me and they thought he wouldn’t be able to do much but he did.

[@marioher4978]

acali sweetheart Hi ma’am, would you kindly enlighten me as to why people stopped using the word Asperger’s? Thank you!

[@user-qv2qf1jk5o]

Vanity Chair Because they don’t want to associate Aspergers with Hans Asperger, who “collaborated in the murder of children with disabilities under the Third Reich.” At first, people thought he only saved children’s lives, but he actually tried to make them “good” citizens by “curing” whatever was “wrong” with them and sending the children he didn’t think he could “fix” to be murdered. And, you know, he was a nazi. Edit: At least, I believe this is why people might not call it Asperger’s syndrome (while believing that the syndrome itself exists.)

[@xylophone897]

@@matth.508 Who?

[@xylophone897]

@@user-qv2qf1jk5o true. Turns out people don't like being associated with Nazis when you ask them.

[@Wyatt19961212]

As someone with mild Aspergers I feel this dude too hard. Imagine is one of my favorite songs for the exact reason as this dude. For me it’s mild enough I can “fake” normalcy to a certain degree to where most people think I’m just quiet. It’s only once you get to know me that my “quirks” as it were, really show through as I no longer feel the need to put up a mask. It’s always disheartening when you “be yourself” around someone you’re finally comfortable with & they reject you because of social failings. Whether it’s something you said being taken the wrong way, or humor being mistaken for mean spiritedness. Despite the myth that everyone on the autism spectrum doesn’t understand irony, some of us do. However we aren’t particularly good at always conveying our feelings. Both in the words we use and the way we say things as well. Unless we are interacting with someone who knows us decently well and the way we communicate, our interactions are often awkward due to a certain level of miscommunication due to a lack of ability to bridge the social gap for us.

[@societaloutlawhh7821]

bro i just found internet around in 2013 to save me, otherwise i would have been pure dumb!

[@juliadixon4810]

About the "be yourself/get rejected" thing: YESSSSS

[@deardeer1469]

Absolutely. Lines up with my experience

[@margicates553]

What you’re describing is called “masking” and that’s what ASD people do. There is no such thing, as “ high functioning “ It’s the ability to mask, and mimic so well you collapse when you’re alone. ASD manifests differently in everyone. Being highly verbal, sensory seeking, and empathetic are ALSO signs of being on the spectrum.

[@Thedamped]

@@margicates553 High-functioning just means that an autistic person doesn't also have intellectual disability, as some significant portion of autistic people have a

[@r3claim3r]

As an aspie myself, I had always felt like an outsider but I never knew why until age 44 when I discovered I had the condition myself. Everything requiring significant social skills was always an uphill battle for me. Getting a job after college proved extremely difficult for me. Without knowing my true condition and without the help I needed, I pretty much had to navigate my way alone, except that I did find a wife who never gave up on me. Now that I look back, I think I did pretty well for someone that didn't get the proper help, and now I don't have to face this world alone.

[@CreaTiffany111]

He definitely need a social media account to show the world his music. He could make so much money to help their situation.

[@DMartinos03]

Not gonna lie, when he said those John Lennon lyrics I cried a little. Music does bring us all together.

[@taylorbarefield2690]

I have Asperger's syndrome as well and people don't understand that we're human as them, I was bullied about it throughout my middle school which led me to depression and teachers tried to force to talk to other students but now I'm happy and a outgoing high School senior who been to a community college in Texas and got a scholarship also working at my school district administration building and still slightly shy and overcoming challenges of life

[@thecrackaddict4640]

Send you a virtual hug. ♥️

[@Jupiter_Crash]

Taylor - What motivated you to overcome depression and become such a happy senior? Was it just that life got easier to manage as your grew up over time or was there something inside you that motivated you?

[@taylorbarefield2690]

@@Jupiter_Crash At first it wasn't easy I was taking advantage of and bullied by classmates which I was begun questioning about myself but yes, it did get better over time he can accomplish realistic goals and what motivate me as a senior with Asperger's syndrome is looking back at the goals that I had reached and being thankful for family, friends and teachers whose have supporting me through this journey. My advices is to your son is embrace himself, don't change for no one based on their opinions, learn as much as he can, and most importantly, reach realistic goals and aspirations. Yes, there will be difficulty and things that he won't be good at and people that will tried to rush him but you as a parent, as he gets older, he will want to have a little sense of independent and he can go through process of change himself and his personality traits on his own without someone forcing and rushing to do things at their time. Now they have support group and vocational rehabilitation classes to help him learn how to live life as he gets older

[@Jupiter_Crash]

Taylor Barefield - Thxs for sharing. I appreciate it.

[@taylorbarefield2690]

@@Jupiter_Crash You're welcome so much and it's a pleasure to help someone is going through the same journey as me😊

[@prisonmike4971]

I work with adults who have a variety of disabilities, specifically with developing gainful employment, and videos like this are so helpful to be able to share with my group during job class, or with other staff. This was great to watch. The world needs more folks like this, loving, positive and working towards a better version of themselves each day.

[@mindmaster58]

I recently made a shortfilm about autism, i hope you like it! kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqOXk4tuptKYmpI

[@artistdeluxe09]

Seeing them live within their means impressed me. Yes, it was at first a surprise that made me wonder how little they lived on. And I felt sad. But many people are frugal. It is not only what one has in the cupboard or refrigerator that makes for a good life. They take walks. They tell each other they love each other. They enjoy the bells. He has vast musical talent. :-)

[@someonefromthenetherlands2120]

My brother has autism. And although we have had diffecult times, I still think he is the most beautiful person in the world!

[@BigDaddy-mh3ry]

someone from the Netherlands my son has autism and I love him and he is my heart and soul.

[@andrewford7085]

Less then a half way in I am bawling my eyes out, my brother has autism and I grew up caring for him, I haven't lived a day without experiencing someone with autism. I love my brother so much and feel protective over him, even though he's 4 years older then me. And when I was young I behaved horribly to him and I feel terrible about it. This video is really helping me understand my brother, we need more of these.

[@SunflowerSpotlight]

Try to be forgiving to yourself. You were growing up yourself, into the person you are today, and you can’t change it; you can just keep working toward the future, you know? My brother was misdiagnosed as a kid, and it turns out he had severe severe anxiety. He felt he’d explode from the anxiety. It was a bit difficult. Any time I had to take up my parents’ attention, he got more nervous because he was left to his own devices and he needed reassurance and approval. But as a kid it felt like he didn’t want them to notice me, he just wanted all of the attention. If something good happened to me, he’d be upset I wasn’t more upset about something he was upset about. If I had an issue but he had a good day, I wasn’t being happy for him. It was all him, all the time, a 24/7 reality show. And... he couldn’t help any of it. When we finally got the correct diagnosis and meds that actually helped, and therapy that gave us all some tools to cope with it, we were much better prepared. But... the same way it wasn’t his fault for being very anxious, it wasn’t my fault for wanting to be able to be a normal kid with a normal family, where I could occasionally be center stage and the world wouldn’t end over it. It’s no one’s fault; we were both growing into the people we are now. And somehow through it all, we made a really solid bond and we’re there for each other. Whatever struggles younger Andrew went through, whatever the words are you wish he could take back, that history helped shape you. You can only use it to make Future Andrew a better person. I wish you and your brother both the best of luck.

[@carpionw]

Man I never told anyone this but I can relate it’s a terrible feeling to live with but when your young your so naive too your surroundings and actions

[@A11-26]

It is never too late. It is good you see the errors of your ways, and this will Drive you to be a better person. Be honest and loving to him now...

[@mindmaster58]

I recently made a shortfilm about autism, i hope you like it! kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqOXk4tuptKYmpI

[@tobiasdoe2518]

I have Asperger's myself and push myself to my limits every day. It's terrible when your head can do more, but it just doesn't work. I don't understand other people and the way you think. Emotions...? The smarter you are, the worse it is to stay in reality and bear it. I guess at a certain point you have to make the decision whether you want to continue. If you're alone, it doesn't matter anyway, does it? What impact is one supposed to have? I, for one, have made my decision and it's just good to finally have an end in sight. I wish every other Aspie to live with people around them who love them, who are there for them. Never have the feeling of being alone. All the best for you.

[@mindmaster58]

I recently made a shortfilm about autism, i hope you like it!! kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqOXk4tuptKYmpI

[@neutralfog]

This is a masterclass in filmmaking. Even many feature films fail to get to this level. ⚜

[@LaurenMca]

Can you do more of these?

[@RoastBeefQueefSniffer]

No, sorry.

[@Jojohumf]

Yeah I think they should do one on GAD (general anxiety disorder) that’s a nightmare to live with

[@LaurenMca]

Johnoè I have high functioning autism and generalized anxiety disorder.

[@AndrewPolich]

Lauren M agreed

[@jagerbomb55]

Absolutely heartbreaking to see how many groceries they had to put back. Heartbreaking :(

[@HaloHunter2552]

What you don't understand is that they may not understand the values of what they are taking. Almost everyone who goes shopping knows they have a limit to how much they can spend, so they only grab what they can afford, but these people may not understand this value, so they just grab a lot, and let the cashier subtract later.

[@Mrs.TJTaylor]

They have a nice home and they aren’t undernourished. They just work on their decision making and compromising a little harder than some couples.

[@SusanHirtzWriter]

He was commenting on her repetitious purchases and deleting those duplicates. While money was an issue, it seemed like he knew what he was doing. Your assumption is possibly an overreaction.

[@riflechess7693]

@@SusanHirtzWriter exactly

[@bizznick444joe7]

Lot of this is completely me. It really sucks when you only realize this later in life. Judging by this man and myself I was in the 90s where autism was not known. My life was nothing but loneliness. I think I've been talking only to people on the internet most of my life.

[@fixitright9709]

Autism was well known long before the 90s, it was the medical complex that was in denial and turned a blind eye at every opportunity to address the condition, autism was actually being diagnosed in the 70s via limited few courageous doctors, Asperger syndrome was first coined by Dr. wing in the 80s so the medical profession knew about it, it took to the 90s to be all officially recognized, I was actually diagnosed in the 80s, good luck to you person

[@Shawak9]

The cinematography is off the charts here.

[@dipplen8798]

I commend this dude he’s s real g

[@aaronpedraza8811]

word

[@mattstevenson1334]

Dude is a thug. Grabs life by the horns.

[@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim]

Truth

[@rosemarygustafson6631]

18 year old with Aspergers here. I was diagnosed about 4 months ago, but it’s something that has been a part of my life for a lot longer than just four months. My dad also had Aspergers, and my little brother has both Downs Syndrome and Autism, so I’ve had lots of exposure to people of varying abilities. I personally don’t view my diagnosis as a disability, because I have the ability to do everything that a “normal” person can, I just have my own way of doing it. I know that it may sound corny, but it doesn’t change who I am; the strange and unique way that I function as a human just has a name now, that’s all.

[@FerDeLira]

That's exactly how I felt when I understood I grew up all the way up to my 30's with undiagnosed Aspergers. I have never felt less abled than anyone else, and never will.

[@breakmylegs7294]

@@FerDeLira that's because you guys are normal, I thought I heard asperger's isn't a thing anymore, it's been removed from the DMS handbook

[@Myuunium]

@@breakmylegs7294 Would that be about the classifications like Aspergers, PDD-NOS, etc being done away with in favor of just calling it all Autism Spectrum Disorder?

[@breakmylegs7294]

@@Myuuniumyes

[@ZentaBon]

@@FerDeLira it made me have a lot of trouble in my life sadly.

[@soumiafares]

This is shot incredibly well and the way the sound is captured is especially spot on. Thank you for sharing their story.

[@danonguy9083]

Thank you. I was really apprehensive to watch this video, because we are so often misrepresented and misunderstood. But you made a beautiful documentary that actually frames our experience and struggles in a dignified way. We need way more of this kind of accurate representation, especially of autistic adults. Thank you NYT, and thank you Mr. Kamnitzer for being an amazing advocate !

[@umeshk2790]

Made my stomach churn ...so many hardships and yet you have to carry on ..world needs more compassion for the disabled..

[@SusanHirtzWriter]

Obviously, Jordan sees those hardships as minimal except for a lack of friends and acceptance by society. He has real courage in continuing on his journey. It is an inspiration for us all, IMHO.

[@asynchronicity]

Sublimely done portrait. Thank you

[@nicolaspintozzi8148]

asynchronicity seriously. What a beautiful and touching portrait.

[@ladderup6584]

What a beautiful pair, this video was so incredibly moving. So happy this couple are here on earth, they are a treasure.

[@alexmendez9627]

Thank you so much for this documentary. I learned so much from a disease so common yet not well understood. It shocked me that people with autism want to interact with people but they just don’t know how 😢 It encourages me to show them even more compassion.

[@alban9757]

Wow finally a very well done made short documentary about Autism and people on the spectrum. Thank you and please make more of these. This is beautiful

[@AlmaWells]

Yes Alban. Yes indeed ! I really enjoyed watching this video. Oh, such a beautiful "love story." I am not disabled... yet, I am not blessed with a loving mate who cares about me. He is so lucky to have a loving mate.

[@mindmaster58]

I recently made a shortfilm about autism, i hope you like it! kzbin.info/www/bejne/mqOXk4tuptKYmpI

[@cesarsagastume8816]

two souls who found each other despite their disabilities. seems like love goes beyond those barriers. beauty in itself.

[@c_dubbzz6127]

4:56 I love this interaction between the two right here.

[@SAVEYOFACE]

What a captivating video. The way this man talks about life and time moving forward ... Only forward ... Always forward. What a profound person.

[@jayhill224]

Okay, my dude can play and sing! So happy he has a love in his life 🥰

[@lylvls]

Their emotions are so pure. It's like when they feel something their minds are devoted to just that one feeling. Whereas we feel a mixture of things at once, and we get confused, and overlooks important feelings of say, love, while we become distracted with other daily mundane things like worrying about this and that.

[@colinoxenham6124]

What a lovely couple. We all have our struggles and differences, remember to be kind and compassionate, and be thankful for the life you have.

[@TomoyoTatar]

I watched this because Im autistic but Im feeling upbeat today, and I wanted some happy whimsical music and when he started playing piano i got so freaking happy and was like, "YES THIS GUY GETS IT" lol ♡ Its really kind that they depend on each other. This was heart warming.