The Past Was The Worst - History’s Most Horrible Inventions and Medications

[@brainblaze6526]

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[@marcbeebee6969]

75 years later. Germany is now a province of the magnificent Chinese Empire. God bless winny poo

[@anarchyantz1564]

Simon: That's what we do here on the Blaze! Aha! You finally said it without saying you AREN'T the Blaze! We knew it!

[@rivertrash9862]

Heads up, there's an impostor channel called Business Blazes that's trying to scam people.

[@nickdaveNDM]

How much is Magellan per month after the free trial? I think it's time I get it

[@nickdaveNDM]

@@rivertrash9862 link? I looked and couldn't find

[@Horizontalvertigo]

"Brain's role in processing the emotions is still largely a grey area" Ooh, I liked that one Danny, that was sharp

[@Joe_Potts]

BUH DA DUM BUM

[@atmclick]

Seeing a writer get some direct love makes me happy

[@gandalf_thegrey]

@@Joe_Potts TSSSSSSSSSSS

[@Summertimeislife]

Almost as sharp as a ice pick

[@CharlesGriswold]

Simon: "You don't want to have surgery any time that isn't now." Simon, I just don't want to have surgery.

[@philipemmons3580]

... but Simon, everyone is getting surgery these days, don't you want to be popular?.... -Simon. You have seen how many subs I have, on all of my channels?... -Simon. I am the definition of Popular.

[@97TheWatcher]

I wouldn’t mind some old school cocaine numbed eye surgery

[@CharlesGriswold]

@@97TheWatcher Cocaine-fueled lobotomies for EVERYONE! WHEE!!

[@runed0s86]

@@CharlesGriswold OMG yes image a diabetic pump but with cocaine cartridges

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

We're still figuring it out There's a technique to flush cells of an organ and leave structural cells and then refill the organ with the patient cells so that the patient could have an organ transplant without ever having to take immunosuppressants, this was done on rats - a rat limb

[@elizabethfreymezzo]

Simon doing the “is that crack, is that what you smoke?” meme was so endearing. Please use it in future videos, Sam!

[@ItsAsparageese]

THIS. Bonus points if we get Simon's voice with the Barbie's video, her voice with his video, or both. Also the dog filter on the "............... No." meme was glorious

[@ValentineS97]

literally just got to that part and i second your request 😅🙌🙏

[@thehangmansdaughter1120]

I sent that meme to our Prime Minister last week when the government decided now was the time to insult nurses with a truly pathetic pay offer. In the face of a deadly pandemic. That we've managed to keep out of the country. For now. Which would, if it got in, kill us by the thousands. I have yet to hear back.

[@georgecaplin9075]

That was funny Even though I read your comment first, I still laughed when Simon did it.

[@bayoubilly5176]

@@thehangmansdaughter1120 it's so frustrating how every gov fucks healthcare, they would be famous for decades for doing it right . But nah better cut healthcare n education ...left or right. Right just does it with glee

[@Kadeo-ms6qw]

When Simon sneezed on that script it’s value increase by nearly 700%

[@sallyintucson]

PLAGUE SPREADER 😳

[@ninerand]

now we need to get the script and his DNA on it and clone him!

[@otakuman706]

@@ninerand We don't need any more... Er, Cloning Simon wouldn't be a good idea, they'd probably start to work together and end up taking over a remote military base. One where those not allowed in just wonder and worry about what's going on inside. And they wouldn't want to know. It was fucked, I mean it would be fucked up seeing the first, oh say 12-16 tries. Around that many probably wouldn't come out the other side very....well. And those who later might come out functional, always seem to have...a slight twist to the usual Simon personality....and not in a good way.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@otakuman706 I'd read this fanfic

[@jessiesratrods1210]

@@ninerand he already clones himself XD..... that's how he dominates KZbin!!!

[@Liutgard]

I had my tonsils/adenoids out in 1979, when I was 15. For several years I was spending several months with repeated bouts of tonsillitis, getting worse each time. so they finally decided to take them out. So there went Christmas break- first day of break getting wheeled into surgery. Yay. Felt lousy after, didn't get better. Then, on Christmas day, I was washing my hair, and suddenly I was choking. There was something in my throat- I couldn't breathe. I kicked the wall, trying to get Mom's attention. She finally appeared just at the moment that I finally gagged out a huge blood clot- the size of a golf ball. And then the blood started pouring out of my mouth. She screamed bloody murder. The folks bundled me into the car, and Mom called ahead to the local hospital (this was before 911, and we lived out in the country, 15 miles from town. All the way there, I was vomiting blood (Mom had given me a bowl to bleed into. Thanks.). We got there, went into ER, and they decided that since I'd had the surgery at a different hospital, I needed to go there. About 30 miles away. Dad put the pedal to the metal- no traffic, as it was Christmas morning. He was hoping to see a cop and get an escort, but no luck. Ended up doing 90 through the middle of Seattle on I-5. We finally got to the hospital, and he pulled into the ambulance bay, and laid on the horn, and a bunch of people (not sure how many- I was barely conscious) ran out (someone at the first hospital had called ahead) and when they opened the car door to get me out, I fell out, and passed out. I was in and out of consciousness for awhile, vaguely remember lots of tubes and banging around. Over the next 48 hours, they had who knows how many pints of Ringer's, and *4* pints of blood run into me. I spent all of Christmas break and a few more days in the hospital, and then several weeks at home. When I left the hospital, I was 95 pounds (5'4"). Obviously, I survived. But it was a clear example of a 'routine' 'Low risk', ordinary surgery- gone wrong. There's no such thing as low risk in surgery. Anything with a bleeding risk or infection risk needs to be weighed carefully. Now, I did need the surgery. In fact, I should have had it years before I did- the repeated bouts of tonsillitis did damage to my immune system and my heart that is still causing me trouble. But it probably should not have been a 'day surgery', and they probably should have sent us home with instructions for 'what to do if...'. And that first hospital should not have sent me away. If I'd died (and I nearly did), there would have been a HUGE lawsuit.

[@brianjrichman]

Meme Accountant here... FINALLY - SIMON PRONOUNCES ROTHERHAM PROPERLY. My work here is done. Bye all.

[@DAD5447]

Where have you been

[@runed0s86]

Stay! He might go back to his wrong pronunciation if you leave! We can't have that happening.

[@michael-fisher]

And next video, ETA make a come back....🤣

[@LizRealGirlBeauty]

How do I get him to pronounce Plantagenet correctly?

[@Hollylivengood]

I thought it was a drinking game, every time he miss-pronounces Rotherham differently take a drink.

[@mickm2486]

I experienced the past while working in Egypt. I cracked a tooth and got told to go to a local dentist to have it extracted. This wasn't in a major city this was in a village. The "dentist" who I strongly suspect was also the village mechanic, or maybe just a keen amateur, pulled out a pair of oily bloodstained pliers, rested my head on a flip flop (his flip flop, sans foot) and heaved at my tooth until it finally snapped out. Anesthetic was not on offer. It was fucking barbaric and if I'm honest it hurt so much, a little bit of piss came out. In the past, dentistry I can attest, was the absolute fucking worst

[@unchargedpickles6372]

My front tooth broke in half when I was a struggling college student. I live in the US but finally found a dentist from Mexico who was willing to fix the tooth for $175. He drilled in a small metal rod into the tooth to help the bonding stay and he blew cold air on the tooth as he drilled into it to help with the pain. That was my anesthetic lol it was horribly painful but it looked good and held on for years lol

[@rhyslogan6490]

Yeah I would've just left that shit in until I got somewhere modern. Actually I've had a cracked tooth for a couple years now

[@grantfairley340]

😂😂😂

[@Llamacowking99]

Better see that Zombie Simon bit used in future meme spots, that's solid

[@EMurph42]

OMG Danny, pointing out that a suicide victim won’t be excited to be reanimated is my favorite dark joke of the day!

[@savannamiller7568]

There was a guy that suicided was brought back then arrested for it.

[@Riwillion]

@@savannamiller7568 Pretty sure I´ve even read about someone from some Middle-Eastern country or some other ass-backwards shithole who attempted suicide, was saved, and then executed... because logic.

[@gchicklet]

Waking up alive is an actual thing

[@MF-R]

@@Riwillion they were "saving" his soul - duh. BTW - you mean they have backwards shit-hole GOVERNMENTS. If we're judging citizens on their government's actions - America makes the shit-hole list aswell.

[@EMurph42]

@@MF-R 👏👏👏👏👏

[@xionmemoria]

I got strep throat an average of 3 times a year and tonsillitis 6 or 7 times a year as a kid. Despite being demonstrably sick (high fevers, visible swelling, breathing difficulties, etc) my pediatrician refused to refer me to a surgeon for removal. FINALLY at 15 my tonsils swelled until they shut off my airway. The hospital doctor I saw referred to an ENT who saw the war zone of my throat and shat a brick. He put me on three antibiotics over a month's time in a futile attempt to remove the infection prior to surgery. The surgeon finally scheduled me for emergency surgery with an active infection. Immediately after waking up I heard the surgeon speaking with my mother. He said, and I quote "That was horrible. It was like cottage cheese in there. I don't even know if I got all the tonsil tissue!" Due to the infection and swelling, I hemorrhaged post op. Despite this, the relief I've felt cannot be understated. If tonsils grew back in full yearly, I would gleefully consent to yearly tonsillectomies and would die with a smile knowing I took the bastard tonsils with me if I didn't survive. I sincerely hope every tonsillectomy adverse physician on this planet experiences tonsil stones, tonsil rupturing, and recurrent infections that no one will agree to help them with for at least a decade as penance.

[@ThursonJames]

“AM I RIGHT, PETER?” Is possibly my favorite BB variation on a theme.

[@edmundthespiffing2920]

AM I RIGHT.... KEVIN?

[@ThursonJames]

Edmund the Spiffing - please don’t put me in the same company as Peter...

[@projectmgrnj]

Yeah, you don’t want to be in the same class as Peter, am I right?

[@ThursonJames]

Pete F no disrespect to the name, just the referenced individual. 👊

[@princesskatarina351]

Simon, in the past we had these things called books. The ones with pages. And what you did, the intelligent people that is, the ones who realize they are going to be waiting on things like: the bus, the plane to begin boarding/flying/landing/disembarking (repeat however many connections you have), the doctor to see you, or your number to finally be called while waiting at the dmv... Where was I? Oh, yeah. We would bring along a book and READ IT! Or is that just me? I still do, in fact. Not always, but often enough.

[@zippymacadoo6336]

Always have one in my purse. Remember interacting with passers by?

[@catherine_404]

Newspapers? I imagine the past with at least half of the passengers with giant news sheets in front of their faces being a nuisance to others.

[@SarafinaSummers]

No… I still read books. In fact, I have over 130 in my digital library right now.

[@LizRealGirlBeauty]

Sam, please make Simon's version of "is that crack? Is that what you smoke?" into the actual new meme!! That clip should live on into improving history!

[@ItsAsparageese]

THIS. Bonus points if we get Simon's voice with the Barbie's video, her voice with his video, or both. Also the dog filter on the "............... No." meme was glorious

[@seansopata5121]

I expect this will become a series. "The past was the worst: volume 87"...

[@liamrussell367]

Love his rants of the past

[@bronhaller]

YES PLEASE!

[@333SarahBeth]

I could see it being a channel. Simon hasn't started a new one this month yet.

[@jessallard6851]

@@333SarahBeth this is what I was thinking and like a good little sheep I will go and subscribe to it 😂

[@Periwinkie22]

We can only hope

[@spacecowboy2957]

Simon: "Like they should have people going in for an operation and then a separate place for people after the operation..." Me: "Uh, like pre-op and post-op wards? Yeah, they have those. They totally have those. Well, at least in countries with good medical care, they have those."

[@juhis5936]

my man just quoted himself

[@seansopata5121]

"Doctor, he is sometimes getting violent" "Well, maybe we should try stirring his brain with an icepick through his eyehole?' "... Great idea!" EFF the past.

[@gwick358]

Yeah, they used to lobotomize women to " calm them down ". Eff the past

[@elenaderoet4926]

@@gwick358 hysterics- that was a catch all phrase for any emotion deemed undesirable in females.....

[@petesk9655]

@@gwick358 They did it with vibrators in 19th century, but still, past was the worst. "Oh you cut your finger on a needle? BLOOD POISONING BOYY YEEEE" thank god for vaccines and antibiotics

[@Master_Yoda1990]

Is there a “The past was the worst” T-shirt or hoodie? There should be.

[@levilandes1719]

There are, yes.

[@Master_Yoda1990]

@UCDRlXqdT7ykz-MwMeZoQWXw Sadly the Rick Roll got taken down, now it’s a generic domain page.

[@gmanbo]

@@Master_Yoda1990 what a ........ Shame

[@Master_Yoda1990]

@@gmanbo aaaaahhhhh yyaaaaaahhh aahhhh sorry that was yoko ono

[@medusagorgo5146]

@@levilandes1719 I need that link, please

[@spddiesel]

Simon: "who doesn't love a heroin and cocaine drink?" *River Phoenix has entered the chat*

[@dudepool7530]

*Sam Kinneson liked this*

[@Foolish188]

John Belushi says Hi.

[@roscojenkins7451]

Too soon!!!! Says the guy who made a 9/11 joke before the second tower even fell

[@slateslavens]

Comment of the week

[@mpbMKE]

I was still being wheeled into recovery when I woke up from my appendectomy (in 2011) and I heard the surgeon say, "Wow, that was weird." 😂😂

[@wut274]

If course it was, the people in the past never had The Boy with the Blaze! Those poor poor bastards... 😂😂

[@shxtgigs4662]

That’s why the past was the worse

[@leighpowell1062]

Nobody knew about Columbia.....................Allegedly

[@beanholder3634]

If course it was

[@elenaderoet4926]

When I was a kid, we lived within basically spitting distance of the Post Cereal Factory in Battle Creek Michigan. The air often smelled like Cocoa Pebbles... it was magical.

[@MissBee13]

In Buffalo, we get the same thing, except Cheerios.

[@acepilot1]

I was given diamorphine in the ER one time, I went from being in so much pain I couldn’t think to just not being able to think... wasn’t a good time but it sure worked

[@theHotpointHoodlum]

Simon “ I’m not a doctor I just play one on KZbin” Simon’s latest title Doctor of information!

[@lisasteel6817]

Does anyone else here feel the urge to yell "AM I RIGHT PETER?!" In everyday conversation, but then realise everyone would think you're an insane knob?

[@chiralvandal]

Yes, at the top of my voice 😂 If this was the past, lobotomy.

[@frozenfro907]

I make BB references at work all the time, co workers laugh 20% of the time. The other 80% is them giving me a puzzled look.

[@PatrickHirsch]

You assume I don't scream Business Blaze quotes at the top of my lungs in everyday conversation?

[@gwick358]

🤣🤣🤣

[@alidaggawood8932]

I have a line cook in my kitchen named Peter. The poor soul and all the others I work with just have a sheer look of contempt when I yell "am I right Peter" after any interaction 😂

[@jordanwhitecar1982]

that eye worm couldn't have been at a worse time...i was mid-bite into my lunch. thanks Sam, you made me puke.

[@philipemmons3580]

Wait what are you talking about...... I'm on the edge of my seat anticipation waiting for whatever you're talking about cuz I can't wait and sorry for your misfortune and timing. And please tell me that you were eating magic spoon

[@p.haugen7565]

Former heroin addict here.. it's VERY addictive. Think I used half a gram in 4 days with my ex, and I honestly woke up kinda sick with withdrawal the 5th day. But I was on oxycodone daily for 6 weeks when my lung collapsed, and going off that stuff was even worse than quitting heroin

[@EMurph42]

Damn I feel your pain. I used to go through a months worth of oxy in 9 days & make up the rest of the month with street bought fentanyl & black. I used a gram every 3 days or so. Ironically my rehab doctor was really pleased that I had been using heroin right before going into rehab because it was short acting & made the transition onto Suboxone much easier. I felt so guilty going into rehab & here my doctor is praising me for using heroin instead of pills!

[@TechnoLawyer]

@@EMurph42 When doctors are like "good thing you were doing heroin and not oxy", you know oxy is bad news 🤣 I had it once after I had surgery. Oxy, that is. I hated it. It made me kind of neausous and made me itchy. I stopped taking it after the first day and toughed it out with Tylenol instead.

[@casadilla111]

11:31- In the US they do have a separate area for post-operative patients, at least to monitor them for a while to make sure they’re stable and won’t have to be brought back into surgery for any complications.

[@Marco_Onyxheart]

"He whips it in, whips it out - legend" Simon Whistler 2021

[@bannankev]

13:36 LMAOOOOO 👍🏼

[@o5-693]

I don't think I've ever been this early to a blaze. I feel special.

[@matthewkoster9967]

Same

[@lemonmuncher14]

Don't.

[@mwadfb6196]

@@imperial_corner 632nd

[@hacker4chn841]

This is the best channel - so much rambling. It's glorious!

[@angelachouinard4581]

As someone who majored in history I have to agree with Simon, the past was worse. He could do a hundred videos on this topic. The medical and and sanitation stuff alone is scary as hell. This video is just an appetizer. Plus, this topic brings out great comments from Simon and great writing from Sam.

[@isaacwilson5284]

I feel like everyone that watches this channel gets put on a watchlist...

[@TearDownGenesis]

Communism is frequently mentioned by Danny. Cocaine by Simon.

[@Baconpotato710]

Doesn't the inconsistent views between scripts help remove the risk of watchlist? If cocaine content gets you on a list I feel sorry for Hollywood /s

[@brainblaze6526]

THE WATCHLIST FOR LEGENDS. AM I RIGHT, PETER?

[@evepayler1461]

@@brainblaze6526 you need to bring back EDA I miss his beautiful eyes

[@hbeachley]

I’d be so dead if it weren’t for penicillin.

[@Netasuke]

This is the most valuable script, it's covered in Simon's DNA. We can clone him now!

[@timothyneiswander3151]

gross

[@ashleysmith38]

Simone already has clones that's how he does so much content (ether that or he's a master of out sourcing the hard bits)

[@Citizen_Lynch]

Fantastic, now he can make more content...SimonTube...has a ring to it.

[@enquiryplay]

Unlimited power!

[@philipemmons3580]

Guys like Simon's already got clones for his like cryogenic research so do they count as being like cloned first like do they get birthdays ahead of time compared to our clones we're going to make we should like hash this out now before it gets all awkward and s*** during Christmas dinners

[@travisbrown9017]

Simon: Gimme what I want.. What I really really want! Me: Spits drink out 👃

[@liamrussell367]

Best blaze for an age! Cocaine back on the menu! “Sneeze - sneeze, COVID” I do this every time I cough. Even in the middle of a que.

[@slateslavens]

I just wait until the coughing fit passes and ask if anyone has a smoke I can bum...

[@LizRealGirlBeauty]

My tonsils were taken out when I was 11, I had strep throat for more than 6 months straight, and they were still infected when they were removed. Luckily, unlike Danny (in so many ways, I have a TV and couch in my basement), I had the room to myself and never saw anyone else have their's removed. I remember being silent, which is no longer possible, and I remember the feeling of going under anesthesia.

[@DeidreL9]

Did you have ether? I had ether, godawful to wake up from. Lol I can’t be silent either! I wonder, given Simon’s chattiness, if that’s a side effect?😂

[@ericjones1289]

@@DeidreL9 Ether is plain evil, unless you have had it, no one knows. Seeing brain cells popping in an oscilating red mist. The cocaine much Preferable but it never lasts long enough, always some downside.

[@DHFlip18]

The past was the BEST Simon, that's where Danny got kidnapped remember

[@MaxxJagX]

As a Canadian, I can confirm that our system is similar to the UK. We switch our "paper" money ever few decades. "Paper" because it's more of a plastic like thing now.

[@jenitoten2212]

Our paper is more cloth now

[@jonhambrey]

Our notes are made out of the same plastic material now, they're based on the Canadian notes.

[@alanhilder1883]

Australia invented that plastic money.

[@ridoldy]

P-p-p-polymer!

[@HallowqueenCrafting]

Yeah, but if someone was to find an old paper note, they might get looked at funny, but they will be accepted. I too, as a Canadian went to Europe and saved my various currencies, not because I wanted to use them on my next trip, but because the Euro was coming in and those various currencies were going extinct. They're among my souveniers of my trip. Mostly change, a few notes, but you can't get them now.

[@regmatshiya1437]

Hearing Simon scream “Am I right Peter” is oddly therapeutic 😂

[@threadtapwhisperer5136]

Absolutely love the free form hilarity of the memes and random edits. Simon + crew, y'all are legends. I listen daily while working my mundane manufacturing job. You help keep me sane-ish. Lmao

[@MaxPower-zp2vd]

I’m not a doctor, yet. Though I’ve been practicing in my garden shed.

[@dudepool7530]

I'm not a doctor, I just stalk a dude who plays one on tv!

[@hhairball9]

My father was a heroin addict most of his life. He became addicted during the Korean war. He told me to never try it, not even once, because it was such a great high, that it would hook you immediately after one try.

[@alexschenewerk7436]

Truth

[@paulmccrory8564]

Simon: Looks up an and says “thank you Danny”…….. we all know Danny’s down below…. In the basement

[@onemoreguyonline7878]

Spoiler alert, Danny has Simon in the basement.

[@garcemac]

@@onemoreguyonline7878 Now that you mention it, I have never seen Simon and a window in the same room.

[@WKRP187]

@@garcemac .,. There's video evidence of Simon and window together. He filmed and released some of his first videos from his apartment where construction was always going on... You should search for it... Pretty funny stuff!!! 👍

[@onemoreguyonline7878]

@@WKRP187 keyword is first videos. That was the last time Danny was foolish enough to let comrade Simon enjoy open air for free - it gave Simon ideas that he would ever be more than FactBoi

[@chri-k]

@@onemoreguyonline7878 that’s what he ( Simon ) wants you to think.

[@amandakriss4244]

Had strep and ear infections constantly as a kid from 3-8. Tonsils removed and I haven't had strep in over 15 years, ear infections were down to once-twice a year. It was a super hard surgery to recover from because they had a hard time stopping/slowing the bleeding during and right after. I was one of the cases that had to stay in the hospital after before being sent home to recover for about a month. I am glad it was done, because the adults in my family that did not have it done, suffer immensely from severe chronic tonsillitis.

[@georgiawardle618]

I was doing my makeup while I watched this and I nearly poked myself in my eye with a mascara wand several times due to suddenly bursting out laughing at Simon's crack and heroin jokes

[@dissodatore]

self-lobotomy????

[@aeray3581]

Girl, you know better!

[@Joe_Potts]

"The wailing and the bleeding and the subsequent infections" sounds like a removed line of the Modern Major General song

[@ItsAsparageese]

The wailing and the bleeding and the subsequent infections, Leading to a rapid shift of policy in new directions, Made it so the tonsil guillotines, those horrible inventions, all Were recognized as bad things which should be quite unconventional! *And so the tonsil guillotines, those horrible inventions, all* *Were recognized as bad things which should be quite unconventional!*

[@SenoraCardgage]

@@ItsAsparageese Underrated comment, this should have way more likes!

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@SenoraCardgage Lol thanks! I'd forgotten about this one but now that you brought my attention back to it I'm pretty damn proud of past-me 🤣

[@steves_thoughts]

TIFO: Simon can do a surprisingly good crack-Barbie impression.

[@brittanywoodman6559]

Canada is much like America we’ve had 3 different notes that I can remember in the past 25ish years you can use any of them as long as we can tell they’re real

[@shxtgigs4662]

Not gonna lie mate would pay too see a Canadian trump.... I’m Australian and I would rather be on a prison ship then share a border

[@jessicaevans7847]

"Who doesn't love a heroin/cocaine drink?" - Simon Whistler - Make the shirt Simon.

[@robinderoos1166]

These days you go to the doctor,. He tells you that you got cancer and should go to the hospital. The hospital tells you: ok, you are on the 2 month waiting list for diagnose, then a 6 month waiting list for 1st treatment.

[@alanhilder1883]

Is that like the Irish abortion clinic, there is a 10 month waiting list.

[@bchin4005]

When Sam sprinkles in some Lil Jon, you know it's going to be a good episode.

[@ItsAsparageese]

WHAT?!?

[@bchin4005]

@@ItsAsparageese YEAHYAH!

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@bchin4005 OKAAAYYYY!!!

[@bchin4005]

@@ItsAsparageese "Well, I just felt like I needed to speak with someone who would understand, and that person is you Jon."

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@bchin4005 Crap we've reached the limit of references/jokes I knew lol

[@rixtunz3625]

"Soon to be President" JFK was 24 when his sister was banished to a Wisconsin Convent after the botched Lobotomy, and the family was kept in the dark as to what had happened.

[@Fhae_Viras]

Anyone that didn't reply to the opening line with "So tell me what you want, what you really, really want" is too young to be blazing.

[@MysticWanderer]

Or you’re just blazed

[@jayhom5385]

It made me think of his stream a bit back when he asked what game we wanted to see him play, and I said Guitar Hero. He actually read it, and responded, "...what is this the 90s?"

[@timhocking529]

Am I right Peter.

[@oxyuran5998]

Once upon a time in the past: Patient - "Doctor, can we do the procedure in a sterile environment?" Doctor - "Aight, bring the eunuchs."

[@spacecowboy2957]

Simon: "Is heroin addictive?" Me: ...

[@runed0s86]

What could go wrong?

[@jessn.2665]

My city, overwhelmed with bodies……and a giant heroin problem

[@sickofwashington]

I love explaining terms like "broken on the wheel" and "hung, drawn, and quartered" to those people that think things were so much better in the past. Then I drop the fact that these brutal execution methods were seen as great family entertainment for a Saturday evening...😮

[@chrisw1993]

Sometimes when all the planets align, the Blaze is perfect. Danie, Simon and Sam seem to be all on the same wave... Epic BLAZE guys!

[@abefroman9110]

When Simon acts out the memes that you're expecting to see! Me: (Kisses finger tips) MMMWAH!

[@613aristocrat]

3:11 That was the best meme amalgamation ever!!! Thanks, Sam! LOL

[@DAD5447]

Tremendous really

[@shutup-gc2yk]

Simon's "is that crack" moment was so damn cute lol I fucking love this man tbh

[@antonioarroyas7662]

The next beard oil should be called "Rotting Spice"

[@ph3onixlightsworn232]

Rotting corpse

[@mildlydazed9608]

@@ph3onixlightsworn232 That's too close to the Rotten Turtle.

[@andiward7068]

Pungent Corpse?

[@ItsAsparageese]

I wonder how many fitting paraphrases for the same name/conceptually same name there could be lol, just because that would be an entertaining way to name scents in the line. Rotting Turtle, Decomposing Testinude, Purulent Tortoise, et cetera

[@CharlesGriswold]

I had my appendix removed. Then they had to go in *again* and remove the infection that was growing where my appendix had been, because removing all of the disgusting mess that happens when someone's appendix has burst is really damn tricky.

[@EMurph42]

I don’t want to hit “the like button” about this, I dislike that this happened to you!

[@CharlesGriswold]

@@EMurph42 It really sucked, but it was a long time ago. #ThePastWasTheWorst

[@LacieWhy]

Simon needs to make a channel that’s officially titled “The Past Was The Worst”.

[@Luubelaar]

You can still wander about in Woolworths if you come to Australia. It's a big supermarket chain here.

[@ckought69]

I've always had all the world's entertainment in my pocket.

[@liamrussell367]

Wink wink

[@grimd8788]

Your hand? You need to get out more. 😉 Joking

[@darrenmonaghan]

#Tamagotchi 😂

[@ckought69]

@@grimd8788 - More than a year inside and social distancing, ya gotta find your own entertainment where ya can.

[@joshuahunt3032]

4:20 I loved how the first college I go to was apparently close enough to some food place that the smell would sometimes be carried on the wind. I love the smell of food, to the point where smelling nothing at all is boring to me.

[@dudepool7530]

"The Past Was the Worst" I think Simon finally has an original series he can put out, instead of the lazy title pic he shoves in the basement grate, lmao. i would love to see a annual series of this!

[@rodepet]

This will be his next channel with daily videos coming out

[@jessicarakowicz1627]

“Hasn’t exploded yet, I’m excited for when it finally does” oh Simon.

[@Nakahat01]

Its funny, what they said about heroin is exactly what they said about oxycodone

[@thetangieman3426]

Also Vicodin. Let's not forget that era where they were prescribing bottles of 300 Vicodin 10x325 for basically everything. And monthly refills.

[@justinyates1154]

Well think about it, why would they throw away a perfectly good business model? It's always worked for the pharmaceutical market to say their new product is "safer" than an alternative medicine when in reality they have no idea about side effects or consequences from long term use because the compound itself hasn't even been produced and sold long term.

[@jameshayes1375]

I got intravenous diacetymorphine (heroin) when I was I hospital with kidney stones. It was tremendous! All the pain just melted away and it felt like the mattress was swallowing me up. A couple of friends came to visit and apparently I was talking the greatest pile of nonsense! Fortunately I don't remember!

[@logansmall5148]

Dear Simon, there is still an operating Blockbuster in Bend Oregon.

[@liamrussell367]

And they hAve all the b-buster merch

[@dudepool7530]

*Rushes to Oregon* LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!!

[@dudepool7530]

@@liamrussell367 shut up and take my money lmao

[@keyman1969b]

Wow.....really?.?

[@keyman1969b]

Wow.....really?.?

[@AndiPandiBee]

I remember the several specialists my parents went to just to for them to decided wether or not a tonsillectomy was for my dad. They said he was super duper high risk of hemorrhage, brain damage (no idea where that come from) and possible death from it . But after a year they decided finally to do it after lancing his tonsils several times in hospital. They were whipped out asap, he did piss blood out of my throat pretty heavily but he was home the next day with much less pain than he went in with.

[@FettTheWatcher]

The exploding Simon meme is my all time favorite now

[@10000bonus]

got to say,it always makes me laugh

[@gorillaau]

Can we watch Simon go Nuclear, but from Alaska for safety purposes?

[@VoxVocisCruora]

30:20 Dude, imagine being that guy, and some weird-ass Russian scientists actually managed to bring you back to life, only to turn their weird science machine off and you die again. Like you were standing in line at the gates of Heaven for a couple of hours, got yanked back down into the mortal coil for a few brief moments, and then returned to the fluffy clouds above. You would probably be so fuckin' confused.

[@bradbrad6521]

Can you imagine the ways people might feel about us in the same way in a 1000 years from now?

[@powerbeard5653]

they'll probably hate us for destroying the environment :^)

[@bradbrad6521]

@@powerbeard5653 if we destroyed the environment how would humans be alive in a 1000 years and not regressed into a worst society?

[@chiralvandal]

100 years at max!

[@aeray3581]

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home Doctor McCoy is horrified at barbaric dialysis.

[@GothicPoet93]

Watching this while in the psych ward. The lobotomy bit hit a little extra close to home. At the old facility you could actually see the original abandoned hospital, and the room where they preformed skylight lobotomies, from most of the grounds.

[@zeusathena26]

I thought he said "diet morphine" lol, I need to go to sleep! 🤣🤣

[@doroheil5953]

I'd love to hear Simon trying to pronounce the IUPAC names of drugs, they're weirder

[@madalice5134]

Why sleep? Just do some cocaine.

[@Carmensrt]

My mother took us to this old coot doctor who understood that tonsils were important before the rest of the medical community caught up. He wouldn't take them out no matter how many times I got tonsillitis every year. I hated him virulently then, I wish I could thank him now.

[@richewilson6394]

There's a show that's called ancient discoveries and they showed that ancient Romans for able to have created the first set of surgical instruments that are the same as today and almost the basic same techniques including a syringe made to take out cataracts. Also they showed that the Aztecs for able to use a sharp form of stone to perform surgeries such as relieving pressure on the skull

[@bpmcgrain]

Sam is such a good EDITOR that he got Simon to do him memes for him! Absolute Legend!!

[@twocvbloke]

Well, whoever ends up in possession of that script best make sure to keep it sealed in an antiseptic environment... :P

[@HomesteadDreaming]

Oh my gosh I had my tonsil out when I was 18 and it was so painful but so worth it. I got strep every month for a year in my junior year of high school. I've never had strep again since getting the tonsils out. That was 14 years ago

[@mdansbyjr]

Peter is probably in the afterlife going "What the ...?"

[@lucasandrade234]

the editing was on point!

[@Battle_Beard]

Simon’s Spice Girls cover: proof that the present is worse.

[@beanholder3634]

I miss the good old days when his cover didn't exist.. The present is the worst

[@x3roxide]

considering it was released in around 1996, I'd say that it's in the past.

[@Battle_Beard]

@@x3roxide Actually, I’m pretty sure Simon covered it for the first time on camera within the last few weeks 😏

[@x3roxide]

@@Battle_Beard oh I didn't read it correctly. His cover! So true.... still, it's better than the original

[@goochfitness26]

In 50 years I’ll come back to this video and I’ll let you know how it’s going Simon.

[@dudepool7530]

3:15 Proof Sam is the God of Memes: Storm Trooper hits target.

[@Wormweed]

That tonsil removal tool is what nightmares are made of! I almost died from blood loss when i had my tonsils removed as a kid, 20 years ago, because it turned out i was a bleeder, whoops i guess. I'm sure that would have been picked up way sooner today.

[@Chef_PC]

Lobotomy has become “largely” abandoned now.... Wait, wut?

[@memecki]

Listen. You can’t just show people a human eyeball teeming with parasitic worms WITH NO WARNING.

[@isaiahhamid1292]

It was indeed what i wanted I didn't know i wanted it but thankfully simon told me what i really really want

[@ic3olate]

You can be prescribed diamorphine (heroin) in the US for severe pain and used for post-surgery pain, albeit for a very short time unless under specific circumstances. Cases such as late-stage cancer patients can even be prescribed fentanyl and other very powerful synthetic opioids due to tolerance buildup.

[@paulherman5822]

The only thing that I really like from the past is the fountain pen. And of those, many of them are actually better made than most today. Of course, I may be a little biased, as most other pens hurt to use... (Of course, my glasses are an 1880s style, too, but that's because I ruin nose pads, so a saddle bridge works better for me. And they were cheaper than others.)

[@theduke7539]

Nostalgia for the past comes not from a place of appreciation but a place of regret. no one ever appreciates all the good in the world today, honestly thats just a fact. theres no way you can just ignore problems and only appreciate happiness today. but in the future, you get to look back and see all the things you wish you had enjoyed when you had it.

[@brookgayheart8334]

Simon doing the crack smoking Barbie meme is my life at the moment

[@Elizabeth-xp2sf]

As someone that studied history in college Simon only spits facts when it comes to things like this

[@etmr]

I was waiting for a "Past Was The Worst" vid on this channel, I knew FactBoy and the Basement Crew would deliver 🔥

[@businessblazes526]

•W•H•A•T•S•A•P•P•M•E• √+•1•2•1•6•3•6•5•8•8•9•7√ √F•O•R•M•O•R•E•G•U•I•D•I•A•N•C•E•√√√√√√√..

[@lisamoulton2540]

Love it all! Thank you word boy and meme boy! 😁😁

[@oddshot60]

Simon. Over the years I have enjoyed ALL of your programs. However, this day everything changes ... I have to call total bullshxt on this installment. Yesterday I went to the hospital and had a Septoplasty and Turbinate reduction surgery done on my poor nose. If you don't know what this is I would encourage you to look it up, but I reckon it misses being a lobotomy THROUGH MY NOSE by about 1 .5 inches. Today it feels like the inside of my face is on fire. I don't recommend this as a good time and definitely have a longing for the past ... those joyful days before I got talked in to believing this was a good idea.

[@alenazwiep2996]

Yeah, but you'll probably be able to breathe better when you recover... or something idk lol

[@dale116dot7]

I had that done a year and a half ago. Maybe two years. The recovery wasn’t much fun but I can breathe and smell now, which is quite nice. Good luck!

[@oddshot60]

Breath and smell better??? They told me I'd be taller and better looking. BA dum-dum

[@dale116dot7]

@@oddshot60 😂🤣😂🤣. A few weeks after the procedure the surgeon pulled out little stents and cleaned out the crud from my nose and after I went outside I was overwhelmed by the smell of the trees, flowers, and the inside of a grocery store. It was almost too much after not having a sense of smell for at least a few years.

[@DeidreL9]

Oh dear! Are you ok? Give it a bit longer, hopefully you’re feeling a lot better now🙏❤️