The Past Was the Worst: HORRIFIC Laws That We're All Glad are Gone

[@brainblaze6526]

The first 100 people to go to www.blinkist.com/businessblaze are going to get unlimited access for 1 week to try it out. You'll also get 25% off if you want the full membership

[@sebaseba6710]

Hi Simon I know you might never read this but if you want to watch some crazy violent mma football, check out calcio fiorentino in Italy! It's wild and a lot of fun. You could even make a video on it

[@chrisdugas1226]

Hi Simon. If you're interested in mediaeval ultra-violent football, you should do a video on the Atherstone Ball Game, which is still a thing that happens today. It was cancelled once last year for the first time in 821 years. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atherstone_Ball_Game

[@sebaseba6710]

@@chrisdugas1226 it's pretty fucking insane tbh

[@julianshepherd2038]

Not UK 1993 England and Wales 1993

[@julianshepherd2038]

@@chrisdugas1226 or Leeds United in the 1970s

[@NathanCassidy721]

It funny how Simon goes off on slavery while keeping two “unpaid interns” in his Blazement.

[@ilajoie3]

He provides them with a place to sleep and stuff like mushrooms and magic spoon to eat

[@Snp2024]

He pays them actually in 5 gummy bears and 2 glass of water per script

[@cabe_bedlam]

They arent unemployed, they have plenty to do :)

[@DarkZodiacZZ]

"Volunteer workers"

[@charleyedwards2121]

blazement heh

[@laurenrenae640]

Is anyone else going around saying "Am I right Peter"... my family is now sick of me and I love it!

[@janetmaahs8653]

Or walk around crying out OGBB!!!

[@drkleo001]

AM I RIGHT, PETTUUHH?!?

[@YusriRilke]

extended rimshot gang rise up!

[@janetmaahs8653]

Budda, boom, boom.....chhhhhhhhhhhh!

[@bullzebub]

that would be weird...

[@paultidwell8799]

We need this whole series because the past doesn't get NEARLY enough abuse.

[@Rocketyfox]

"The only person ever killed by a round of applause" so he got clapped then...

[@flyingtrap4169]

He came in by the clap 👏 and went out by the clap 👏

[@K1LLERSQU1D]

@@flyingtrap4169 Hahahah

[@valdemarramirez6015]

I just facepalmed so hard right now. The best part is I'm sitting in a doctors office and some of the other patients turned to look at me

[@toric6005]

My fave “turned down a knighthood” story was when Edward VII tried to give a knighthood to a portraitist who lived in the UK but didn’t do any research and the guy sent back the reply thanks for thinking of me but I’m an American Citizen. 🤣

[@elsden722]

.... fascinating

[@shadehunter]

@@elsden722 No need to be a wise-ass.

[@youngspaghettii]

@@elsden722 yeah what was even the point of ur comment 🤡🤡

[@DayZeroGaming]

When you been binging the last 350 hours of the BB stream and have to open another tab to check out the new video📹 Blaze on, Legends.

[@therealunicornselene]

Legends binged the last stream a month ago 😆 (just kidding, blaze on)

[@sailinbob11]

Guess those soccer guys would never make it in hockey. I've been watching a few matches lately, and they literally fall down when someone runs past them.

[@terryenby2304]

@@sailinbob11 yeah, but have you seen rugby? The guys are hiding injuries to get back on the pitch lol

[@anarchyantz1564]

I know, AM I RIGHT PETER?!?

[@DayZeroGaming]

@@therealunicornselene BLAZE ON!

[@arceusmaster91]

17:27 as a Canadian, it warms my heart someone across the ocean appreciates the absolute full contact fist fight rules of ice hockey. There was a guy who LITERALLY momentarily died on the bench and asked the coach to let him continue playing.

[@Terri_MacKay]

I live in Canada, but was born in Philly. I really, really miss 70's hockey, and all those bench clearing brawls. The Flyers and the Leafs had quite a rivalry and more than a few epic battles , and living so close to Toronto, I WAS NOT popular in high school when I would strut down the halls in my Flyers jersey. 🤣🤣

[@Ahalaya]

As my mother and I like to put it: "I went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out."

[@daniel-is6zf]

Hang on hang on hang on... It's approved lol... I'm spewing the only time they'res beef anymore in NRL is when origin gets a bit gritty 😆

[@phantomechelon3628]

I have tried watching hockey a few times and always thought it looked more like organised fighting with sports equipment. If anyone actually scores its just kind of a bonus... 😆

[@cherylmaden5989]

I've met ppl who play hockey. Apt description. Also ppl who play rugby. It feels like hockey wo ice???

[@C.L.Hinton]

I wondered where Terry Pratchett got his "shove" version of football from in _Unseen Academicals._ It turns out his horrific version was actually toned down from the historical truth!

[@DangerAngelous]

All of Simon's neighbours and people walking outside: "Who the f*** is this bloody Peter"

[@thirteenthandy]

"But you know what's never ugly? Shaved balls! Oh wait, wrong ad, sorry."

[@01oo011]

“My allegiance is to the republic! To democracy” - Simon

[@thejudgmentalcat]

Sounds oddly familiar...🤔

[@jlcs96]

Hmm..everything checks out here.

[@thomasridley8675]

There isn't a single republican in the u.s. Congress that can say that without breaking out laughing.

[@furyrage2011]

Suspicious...

[@Blackinterceptor999]

@@thomasridley8675 I can't even read the word congress without yelling out loud TERM LIMITS! Then punching something

[@annak314]

Wow never been this early! 😂 Bring on the blaze!

[@douglasbillington8521]

Blaze on, Anna.

[@canaan5337]

A dragon attacks Buckingham Palace in the queen calls upon the knights of the realm. Sir Patrick Stewart Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Paul McCartney all arrive the palace shining armor seated on white horses. Then Sir Elton John shows up in gold armor covered in gemstones riding a unicorn and says "alright let's go kill this dragon for the queen"

[@beanbrewer]

Sir Elton John held his own in the fight in that kingsman flick.

[@ericharkleroad7716]

I like how Simon always looks like he's as surprised as the rest of us about who the sponsor is

[@jamiekidd5471]

I feel like Simon doesn't know the Hurdy Gurdy is a real instrument 😂

[@whee38]

Anti homeless ordinances still exist. We design cities to make their lives harder. It's called aggressive architecture

[@1IGG]

Like those spikes on the ground.

[@cherylmaden5989]

So you've been to Florida 😂

[@michaelpipkin9942]

Did you say "Abe Lincoln?" Nah, man. I said "Hey, Blinkist."

[@theprimo100]

Just nip the tip

[@macuss87]

An episode on ridiculous / pointless laws would be fun. For example in a mid west US state it is against the law to go surfing while drunk.; No surfing while drinking Simon, even if we don't have beaches!

[@Ahalaya]

Sounds like someone got wasted and thought it would be funny to either try surfing on a lake or down a street...

[@zainlookboonmee]

Simon refuses knighthood, Queen takes over Business Blaze and becomes new host. :p

[@nikdog6535]

One is a legend, allegedly.

[@AvoidTheCadaver]

Smashing that dislike button so fast

[@StefanMedici]

Am I right Peter?! /Queens voice 😂

[@zainlookboonmee]

@@StefanMedici 🤣🤣🤣

[@personzorz]

@@StefanMedici I love cocaine /queen voice

[@devikwolf]

My takeaway from this episode: there's a good chance Simon Whistler has never heard of David Bowie.

[@roysoutdoorlife]

Or at least none of Bowie's songs!

[@matthewernst9019]

Now instead of ugly laws cities just make camping in public illegal. it sounds better

[@joma5721]

Yeah I was gonna say, they just renamed these sorts of things, as well as demonised homeless people for homelessness rather than disability. Hostile architecture, ordinances against public camping, arrests during the pandemic for “not abiding by the shelter in place orders”, etc. have the same effect as any “ugly law” does in practice.

[@acepilot1]

Oregonian here,I have a few friends who are either homeless or were homeless got roughed up by the police for trying to pitch a tent in the woods

[@elle_rose_xx]

Sam using Horrible Histories memes is giving me joy

[@Jobe00]

Amendment 13 did NOT abolish slavery ("Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, EXCEPT AS A PUNISHMENT FOR CRIME WHEREOF THE PARTY SHALL HAVE BEEN DULY CONVICTED, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."). It made slavery a punishment for crime. Then afterward, as many of those that would have been slaves were made criminals as possible by hook or by crook to this day.

[@tanglewife]

As long as the battle's on Saturday night, then Sir Elton's your man.

[@johnstevenson9956]

Can you imagine imprisoning someone for being maimed in an industrial accident? How insane is that?

[@QBCPerdition]

They should have paid more attention at their job, then shouldn't they? Off with their head!

[@johnstevenson9956]

@@QBCPerdition LOL

[@serephita]

The north won, but with the loophole in the amendment outlawing slavery means that convicts currently incarcerated are treated similar - they count on a census but can't vote, and are paid $1/day or somewhere around that for any jobs they do.

[@youngspaghettii]

Dont do crimes then 🤔 easy solution

[@KristophM]

Duke Nukem! Sam is a damn legend. You are as well, Simon. Allegedly.

[@TheQuickSilver101]

I can imagine no man less suited for the battlefield than Elton John." I dunno, Prince Charles comes to mind.

[@TheDarkVampire666]

At least Chucks brother felt going into battle was No Sweat

[@personzorz]

The Queen would wipe the floor with any adversary

[@bateman2112]

Stephen Hawking rejected knighthood because he wouldn't be allowed to joust in his chair.

[@TheRealE.B.]

We don't have knights in the U.S., but I'm fairly certain that a lot of the laws over here that let you carry shotguns around at the grocery store also technically apply to swords. To be clear, I've never seen someone walk around the grocery store with a shotgun, but where I live, I think it's technically up to the store to decide if it's allowed.

[@cherylmaden5989]

Probably true. I think the only law in Florida is banks and bars you have to leave your firearm. I think.

[@gregorybarilla9004]

Simon, this morning I watched the Blaze regarding Bing from 2019. As time has gone on the Blaze has become more manic, and it is a good thing. Don't kick that cocaine habit. I hope your wife understands that you aren't doing it for the rush, but for the fans.

[@ItsAsparageese]

I'm homeless in the USA and work with/advocate for others in the unhoused community, and it's really not much better now. People are still subject to abuses and fines and persecution for homelessness, sometimes codified as law sometimes just socially acceptable, and it still all stems from the foundation of blaming poor, disabled, and ill individuals for our own circumstances. Most people are fundamentally terrified to accept the notion that the same circumstances could befall them, so they're quick to label me or others as "obviously some druggie psycho" etc. in order to reassure themselves that they're *✨~different~✨* lol. 🤷‍♂️ It's improving, just slowly.

[@PhilosoShysGameChannel]

Lhazaroni. The macaroni you get to eat twice cause it comes back from the dead after you eat it. BOOM! back on your plate, good as new!

[@Ixidora]

Bwahahaha, just as Simon said Sam is in the basement I got a home design ad, roflmao

[@trinaskyrme8769]

Happy days again 🙌

[@jwhitely7]

Loving all of the adventure time memes didn't know that they counted as vintage and I'm petitioning to have the next stream be just Simon watching adventure Time

[@janetmaahs8653]

Love Simon's southern twang! Dang

[@graemecameron5685]

hell yeah! I was just looking for a whistler video to watch

[@KougajiCalling]

Same! I opened up KZbin thinking, "I wonder if there's a new Business Blaze today..."

[@nicolastrogdon9199]

You should actually do a video on ending slavery in America, particularly with our first "official" Juneteenth recently, as putting an end to slavery in the states was not nearly as neat and clean as you would expect.

[@1IGG]

I would expect it to have been an inhumane mess. You're saying it was even worse? Why am I not surprised.

[@suralos]

A tragic little fact the no one wants to acknowledge about slavery is that there are more people in this world living in slavery than there during any point in the US Civil War!

[@robertwalker-smith2739]

Lazzaroni was the Neapolitan term for the 'poorest of the poor', who lived in the streets and survived by begging or odd jobs. The word is derived from 'lazar', in reference to the parable of Dives and Lazarus. It was also sometimes used to describe lepers.

[@EMurph42]

OMG SAM! Where did you get that Christopher Walken clip?!? Classic!! Breaking the 4th wall is so rare like SNL rarely does it. I love it. The end

[@Deimnos]

Praise the Blaze Brothers! Simon, i know how you feel! I've only managed to read 17 books this year! It is a nightmare! :)

[@loneragnar]

Let the blaze continue!!!!!!!!!

[@spunkythedingo9859]

Hi Simon, it is actually Canada, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Japan, and Papua New Guinea, who call, what you call football, soccer. We just borrowed it from them since we already had a form of 'football'. And yes, it's like watching a theatric play or opera, this thing you call football.

[@janetmaahs8653]

Yay! New blaze.....been watching the live broadcast on & off! You need to put a few new ones sprinkled within....play a game called spot the new one 😁

[@gordonlumbert9861]

Sir Elton John had National Service in the RAF (yes from the olden days). Made Sargent and served in Iraq in the late 40's. We rode slave catcher out of town on a rail when that law was enforced in Marshal Michigan.

[@leeboy26]

That was his father, not Elton.

[@bfgreg1]

I love when Brits make fun of Americans for using the term Soccer, when it was the Brits who created the name back in the 1800's, and was used in England until relatively recently.

[@shadehunter]

Wanna know what's bad? The American civil war was fought over taxes between the north and the south. Freeing all the slaves was an afterthought.

[@shadehunter]

"...and peasantry. Am I RIGHT, PETER?!" Ya know, I wonder if Peter would realize he'd be the basis of a catch phrase for his sexism. Lolol

[@RaderizDorret]

"Soccer" is a old-style English abbreviation for "association football" to help distinguish the sport from Rugby football in conversation. It came about in the 18th Century and was quite the popular way to refer to association football during the American colonial period. After the American Revolution, we kept the old name for the sport.

[@TheDarkestSmurf]

The Football Association (FA), which gave Association Football its name and where the word "soccer" derives from, was only formed in 1863, and "soccer" itself came into use in the late 1870s or early 1880s. At that point the American Revolutionary War had been over for about 100 years.

[@RaderizDorret]

@@TheDarkestSmurf Yeah. I was way off on that. Still, the fact remains that "soccer" was and still is a legitimate term for the sport.

[@TheDarkestSmurf]

@@RaderizDorret No argument there, "soccer" is indeed an entirely valid term to use.

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Historically, peerages were military commissions. Being a knight in the middle ages was equivalent to being a lieutenant now.

[@ignitionfrn2223]

7:40 - Chapter 1 - The ugly truth 13:15 - Mid roll ads 15:35 - Chapter 2 - The not so beautiful game 22:05 - Chapter 3 - Nobody likes a compromise 26:20 - Chapter 4 - The draconian empire - Chapter 5 - - Chapter 6 -

[@The_Republic_of_Ireland]

Is it me or does Simon look like a beard and glasses wearing Johnny Sins?

[@antitheziz717]

Shhhh......allegedly

[@cnaisbitt5013]

Could you imagine watching this as your first blaze video? I'd be so damn confused.

[@annettepenwell6220]

Yes, Simons decent into madness must be watched from the beginning to be truly appreciated

[@cnaisbitt5013]

@@annettepenwell6220 yeah, with all the inside jokes, and the "am I right peters" you'd be so totally lost.

[@joseybryant7577]

I occasionally forget Simon is all alone in his studio. Pretty odd to imagine him just screaming to himself. But aren't we all just doing the same? I know I am.

[@F14Goose37]

One good thing about the long ad reads is when generic bald youtuber with glasses starts his hook and my mind wanders off thinking about whatever that hook is, when I snap back and start paying attention again, he is still reading the ad. It is good because I still get to hear what the product is, and I have not missed any of the main content.

[@chriscarroll6594]

They still play ancient football in Ashbourne, Derbyshire it’s called shovetide and they play at Easter

[@florence9660]

Never fails a new blaze as soon as I clock in and sit down with my coffee

[@spacecaptain9188]

But...could you name all of the laws today? In USA, they vary from town to town, county to county, state to state, and federally, and some of the laws even contradict each-other. There are literally thousands of them (at least), and even the courts can't agree on how to interpret them. How can citizens today realistically claim to know all of our laws? It's no wonder we have so many people in prison today.

[@overtlybiased]

"Sir Simon Whistler" has a ring to it

[@christina1wilson]

The more things change, the more things stay the same.

[@stoneostrich129]

Wonder how the neon light will behave if plugged directly into the wall socket? Maybe the transformer became a diva and decided it didn't like the power strip anymore.

[@spencercassar304]

Okay, I've never watched a Business Blaze video before, just geo/biographics and The Casual Criminalist, and I'm so confused by this off-the-cuff dude?! Like, I'm here for it! But so surprised

[@driftwood883]

Football is still played like this in Atherstone, UK. Search for "Atherstone Ball Game", completely crazy.

[@dancook828]

Aaa the blaze that gets simon a visit from mr bond

[@bpmcgrain]

Is there a "Isn't that right, Peter?" shirt?

[@crazymusicchick]

Yes

[@kaiceecrane3884]

""Isn't that right, Peter?" shirt" shirt

[@DavidStruveDesigns]

The real reason the FA banned women from their affiliated grounds was because the women's team didn't actually come under the FA jurisdiction, and as a result the FA weren't earning any money from their games. Also the whole bit about "not donating to charity" was a false claim by the FA - the women's teams were ALREADY donating money to charities, it's just they were donating to charities to do with women's suffrage, to domestic violence shelters and other things that benefitted other women, rather than the more common and "expected" donations to the War Wounded charities of the time.

[@peten2956]

Yes, that is correct Simon. -Peter... actually

[@weirdkitty07]

"Hustling over large balls" That's a line for today.

[@roysoutdoorlife]

I got the Bowie 'Absolute Beginnings'. Sneaky one Danny!

[@anthonyminerovic1088]

16:49 Simon’s face parts pretty much line up with that neat blue light behind him. Nice decor.

[@twosquids]

We love you Sam

[@douglinn5824]

"Knighthood means nothing".... except if you're Sir Christopher Lee, may he rest in peace. That man is the original legend.

[@adzalonie7172]

Sir Simon Whistler, Knight of Facts. Boi.

[@justinkashtock333]

Simon: "it might be a new year... Ahh - oh my God this is clearly the copy from a very long time ago" [Looks at watch stating the time and date of 3:36 am 01/01/2023] Welp Simon... Old things are new again, broken clock twice a day and all that... Happy New Year!

[@doctorlolchicken7478]

I’m with Draco the Lawgiver as far as crimes go, particularly minor traffic infringements such as blocking the junction and not going on a green light because you are looking at your phone.

[@jakethomson2991]

The 13th Amendment only partially abolished slavery. You can be sentenced to serve your prison term in involuntary servitude for the duration of your prison term. In effect you can be enslaved upon the conviction of a federal crime.

[@jr2904]

Well, when you commit a felony you've probably violated other people's rights so you lose yours.

[@barneynedward]

@@jr2904 unless you were innocent, in which case the guy really who did violate somebody else's rights is still on the loose violating even more people's rights while you are riding in a cell for something you didn't do.

[@elsden722]

"the Dog and Bollock" lmao

[@tessjuel]

29:24 "Death all the way for 25 years" - I always thought death usually lasted longer than that???

[@rebeccahamner8795]

Simon at his best. Allegedly

[@glennalbus363]

7 minute intro. 4 minute ad reads. Go to another of his videos and he apologizes if its over 45 seconds lol. Love this channel

[@The_Other_Ghost]

You know what they say about Elton John, "Saturday nights are alright for fighting"

[@twocvbloke]

If Duke Nukem says you're ugly, you better believe it, cos he's the one with the chaingun cannon and RPG... :P

[@guyorsini1044]

My wife wants the original T-shirt with the "bald guy with glasses" print because she thinks it looks like me, as well as Simon. But really she thinks it looks, like a sketch of me.

[@suedenim]

20 years from now, people will be pulling out this video to embarrass Sir Simon.

[@mcguckin13]

Danny, have you been to Kilmainham Gaol Museum? 🤔

[@williamknox6648]

Did Simon Whistler just call Sir Patrick Stewart a massive know? Trekkies assemble!

[@422katieleigh]

I’ve been watching your videos for years and the most significant thing I’ve learned from you is what the word Bellend actually means.

[@twosquids]

It sounds mega awkward with my Midwest accent. An eloquent term just out of my reach

[@422katieleigh]

@@twosquids Same, I’m also from the Midwest, I could never use it in actual conversation. I always just thought it was a fancy old British insult word, no idea it was so literal lol-as direct as we Americans are, for the most part our insults tend more toward the side of metaphor and innuendo.

[@Gothicmom1977]

Bought my Artsy The Past Is The Worst Tank Top can't wait to wear it!

[@Treyn444]

Love the “gawDahm”

[@michaelmurphy2786]

I feel Simon could be a southern gentleman. Think of how upset he'd be if Danny and Sam ran away then someone hide them, what would he do for that Blazing content then?

[@kalenzypie]

Where is the stole the milk from your fridge clip from? Thats new to me!

[@Fight4Faulkner]

"The 13th amendment abolished slavery" DID IT THOUGH 😫😭🤬

[@toddnolastname4485]

Well, the Democrats have tried their best to keep the black man down. Giving them just enough money to keep them alive, and threatening to cut it off if they try to better themselves. And then telling them they can't better themselves, and need the white man to give them more money.

[@isaacwilson5768]

I hearby knight you "Sir Whistler of the land of legendary."

[@dilanbrinkley3587]

Good Samaritan laws are a things...Inactivity to intervene or report an illegal act is totally a crime in some places. The Edenesque wonderland of my birth, Florida, has one on the books if memory serves

[@mattdouplesx]

Good Samaritan law in LA means you don't go to jail for calling ambulance for overdoses

[@jelmerprins]

What if Simon is actually locked up in the basement and he copes with it by imagining other people that he locked up in a basement?