Inventions That Made Life Much Worse

[@brainblaze6526]

Thanks to Keeps for sponsoring this video! Head to keeps.com/businessblaze to get 50% off your first order of Keeps hair loss treatment.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

Before I even open up the video, my brain answered "The Internet"

[@hateeternalmaver]

Gosh darnit your ad-reads are *so* freakin funny I basically _have_ to get Keeps now! I'm gonna let it grow back from normal length to my old metal-headbanging hair and then start rubbin' it in, y'know... =D =D =D

[@leonardo.1024]

*Simon reading the script* "...Keeps!" "Oh, I've got to do an ad read. What's up Keeps?"

[@rodepet]

Give us pre-shave Simon pictures!!! Show us before and after whithout keeps!

[@maniaemagna]

Free Danny and Brittany!

[@KamiRecca]

The Eli story reminds me of a saying of my Father: "Back in the days a lumberjack could cut down 5 trees in a day. Then someone invented the chainsaw and the lumberjack could cut down 5 trees in an hour. The problem was that they kept cutting down trees all day."

[@InquisMalleus]

Simon: I'll add less rants Blaze fans: we watch it for your rants and hearing Danny's life stories

[@therese369]

I love that Simon complains about the lengh of the script, says he wont rant and then proceeds to rant 😂👏

[@georgecaplin9075]

Blaze, baby!

[@treeckogreen8577]

He was ranting before he even started reading the script

[@mangot589]

True. And I’m a OGBB.

[@josephkoester3217]

He extends the videos to rant about how long it is. Classic Buisness Boi

[@Fitten06]

And then the next video posted to BB is an Epic Blaze almost 1.5 hours long 😂

[@beautyfoodbecky]

When I was about thirteen years old, my mother got so annoyed by spam calls that she answered one by saying, "City Morgue, how may I help you?" I could hear the guy on the other end said, "oh god, I'm so sorry", before hanging up.

[@oldschoolman1444]

My favorite is, Pete's mortuary, you stab em we slab em. =)

[@marcor6769]

I later adopted one I had read in the MAD magazine in the late '70s (I'm not even American): "Tony's morgue, you stab them we slab them!"

[@fybromon1409]

Adelaide City Morgue, You kill em, We chill em! That's how I answer blocked numbers, have for about 10 years

[@CraftQueenJr]

I always like “Hello, you have reached the society for forsaken time travellers, when are you from?

[@protoculturejunkie]

I do the "You stab 'em. We slab 'em." bit too, but I also mix the line up a bit. Stab/slab Shoot/loot Kill/chill Hang/bang

[@shadowdragon2484]

"52 billion robo calls a year, a billion a day" its ok, we still love you

[@emmas3367]

Are you trying to tell me there’s more than 52 days in a year?

[@jkent3991]

Started scrolling through the comments as soon as he said that to find this post and like it lol.

[@christinebenson518]

@@emmas3367 Maybe he was thinking of another planet. Mercury has 88 day orbital year, maybe there's one with a shorter one out there. We'll probably never know.

[@UlshaRS]

​@@christinebenson518 Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done. That will teach you do deconstruct a joke.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@UlshaRS But how will that teach her about deconstructing anything? A corner doesn't have a lot of complexity to take apart, maybe a doorframe would work better. :P

[@kzyrichm]

there are three bald eagle nests within a mile of my childhood home. the appeared about five years after the ddt ban. they are still there and their fledglings fly all about my hometown.

[@paulsherick1979]

That's Awesome, majestic animals

[@Black_noir_mw3]

That is majestic

[@jerkfudgewater147]

Yaaaa now we’ve got 10 billion pigeons gangbanging the bald eagle chicks into oblivion God damn pigeons just piled up and died all over the eagle’s nests until the eagles had to move just to get clear of the feathers and poop AND THE PIGEONS JUST KEEP COMING they never stop

[@paulstewart6293]

Every septembre there is a bunch of magpies in a tree and they shout and fight about something. Just down the road. Love it.

[@chaosreaver3597]

I've only ever seen one wild bird of prey up close. I heard thud one day when a was smoking out of the front door of my house. I looked around the corner to see a sparrow hawk deliver the killing blow on a, well, sparrow after it pile drove it into the Earth. The hawk looked at me with a "What of it?" look and flew of with it's meal. Probably the coolest encounter with a wild animal I'll ever have.

[@sammeetthosar9130]

Not yet reached the end but 3 mins in but Simon, where's the "what happens here is, Danny has written me a script, I shall read the script and sam would add some fine VINTAGE Memes."

[@VidyaCentral]

Fact boi had to hurry up for lunch

[@ThursonJames]

At this point, I think Simon has given up on new subscribers and he’s talking to the OGs.

[@Battle_Beard]

Been listening to the old “The Simon Whistler Show” videos after finishing all the fresh Whistler content every day. It’s sort of like a more raw version of Business Blaze with less yelling and a co host. The absolute best part is the 1+ hour length of just about every video. Have a drink, take a seat, throw in the ads… we don’t care Fact Boi… we want long vids!

[@nebuchadne33ar]

Simon, I spoke to Peter and he says "You're absolutely fucking right"

[@StfuFFS]

Fun fact: If you go back to Nov you discover that "Peter" is the name of the (apparently totally sexist) plant on the shelf directly to the right of the dead sign.

[@jr2904]

@@StfuFFS legend

[@MRHG126]

@@StfuFFS Thank you! I remembered the Peter reveal but couldnt recall when the episode was...now I can find it!

[@StfuFFS]

@@MRHG126 pretty sure it was in the second week. Nov 9th sticks out in my memory for some reason.

[@richiedagger733]

@@StfuFFS does the dead sign bother anyone else as much as it does me? I feellike a petition should be started...

[@GuitarMonkey5180]

I’m still convinced Simon films these after a long day of being serious while recording the other channels.

[@EddieOtool]

...and after a good blaze. Actually, he said he wanted to record it before lunch at the beginning.

[@nobodyfamousX]

I like to think that he does the cut aways when he is recording other channels too, but his improvs get cut off on the serious channels

[@GimmeJimmy23]

I heard him mention in one video how he likes to record them first thing in the morning, when he has the most energy. I like your idea, though!

[@dfuher968]

Honestly, he could use 1 of these to clear the trauma after a day of Shadows or Cas Crim... like Pedro Lopez, thats still giving him nightmares many months later.

[@CeeJayThe13th]

​@@nobodyfamousXthat's how I imagined it

[@RHCole]

Love the ad break music that just starts up when Simon goes on an ADHD rant.

[@1TakoyakiStore]

Apparently he's just hangry.

[@kreiner1]

I did a report on Eli Whitney when I was in middle school, it was about how great life was now that he made the cotton gin. Years later I got the other side of the story, I really don't think I should have gotten an A.

[@orcus6893]

He invented the cotton gin without the intention of ramping up slavery in the south, so you can say that his invention is really a breakthrough in technology.

[@noandno9144]

BRUH, THE INTERNETS HAS RESULTED IN WHAT ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST HORRIBLE THINGS IN HUMAN HISTORY, BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME AL GORE FOR THAT, NOW CAN YOU? THE INTERWEB IS STILL AN INCREDIBLE INVENTION EVEN IF IT HAS RESULTED IN SEVERE AND PERMANENT MENTAL AND MORAL DEGRADATION OF THE HUMAN RACE.

[@SuperPickle15]

@@noandno9144 yep, dont blame Al Gore. Exspecially since he didnt invent the interwebs.

[@thecrowcook]

@@SuperPickle15 yes he did i read it on the intrawebz

[@goransekulic3671]

You developed your thesis, used evidence to prove it etc. What gets you an A. You got an A for a product that deserves an A. Morality? FUCK THAT! You didn't know and you did your job. Just like Eli did. What happens...and what the reality is...well...ok. But we shouldn't be graded or evaluated on morality. No, just no. That should be our personal freedom to be as moral as we like within the confines of law / common sense.

[@annoloki]

When I've had a call asking if I've had an accident at work that wasn't my fault, I simply asked "are you threatening me?!??"

[@michaelevangatto1659]

“I find their music acceptable” is like one of the most British compliments ever 😂

[@joelpaltzer8732]

It's about time we get a fresh blaze, keep em coming fact boy!

[@phomo561]

Go to his Twitter.. It's gonna be slow for a bit. He broke his collarbone recently

[@JohnGalt916]

@@phomo561 most people aren't on Twitter. Hell it's only 7% of the American population and 3% active. I'd imagine it's higher in the UK cos yall still locked down and have sex bans. Lol

[@phomo561]

@@JohnGalt916 lol I'm in South Africa bro..

[@johndolo9573]

@@JohnGalt916 we been out off lock down for a second now my guy

[@justinyates1154]

All my calls are about my cars extended warranty about to expire, meanwhile both my vehicles qualify as "classic cars."

[@archstanton6102]

Same here but I only over to USA 2 months ago and have not boughta car yet

[@midnightrambler8866]

I get calls about the truck I totaled three years ago I get junk mail about it too. It just never stops.

[@studibakre]

Go along with it. The speed they hang up when you say "196x" is hilarious

[@Holdaro]

That's quite a warranty period 😂

[@justinyates1154]

@@studibakre ha! 196k, my geo tracker has 333k and my honda del sol has 280k lol! That being said there's a few issues I would definitely turn into for an extended warranty claim 😂😂

[@stephjovi]

42 min Blaze 😍. Seriously Simon just drink your shake while you Blaze we don't mind

[@slcpunk2740]

He saves that for the ASMR section of his onlyfans 🤭

[@amandajones661]

@@slcpunk2740 😅😅😅

[@treeckogreen8577]

We already watch him drink his coffee mid sentence

[@LostInDub]

Ikr good job Danny 😂

[@brainblaze6526]

@@treeckogreen8577 High quality KZbinrs drink coffee mid sentence.

[@Catbirdmom2]

The saddest thing is China and other countries still have slav- erm -forced labor, today. Nike apparel, designer clothes, cheap/fast fashion, bed sheets, toys, technology, medical items, etc are all made with cheap forced labor.

[@thepresence365]

There are a lot of people here in the states, too, who don't earn anywhere near a living wage. It's not as extreme as the basically slave labor you are mentioning, but it's quite terrible.

[@liarwithagun]

That reminds me of how mining companies here in WV used to be. The miners were basically slave labor. The mining company owned all the land, stores, and houses as well as the mine and transportation to and from the towns. The company knew exactly how much a miner would make a month and would then charge that amount for food, rent, and utilities. So a miner would make say $100 a week then would have to pay all that right back to the company in overpriced goods and services. They couldn't even leave the town without walking for weeks or months because cars and roads didn't exist at the time. So while technically on paper the miners weren't slaves, in reality they were in every way. The companies even had entire thugs gangs that would murder people who didn't pay the utilities or those who protested working as basically slaves. This didn't just happen in mining in WV either. A lot of industries in various places did similar things in the 18 and 19th century. And it is because of things like this that Marx, who lived when stuff like this was still legal, penned his Communist manifesto despite the fact that he was a jobless hypocritical freeloader who subsisted off of the generosity of his friend's rich daddy.

[@jetorixjones]

@@thepresence365 comparing the struggle of low wages in the US to actual slavery shows how little you really know about the world

[@thepresence365]

@@jetorixjones Oh. I'm actually not, though. I know there's no comparison. It's just that there are many people who are not aware of poverty and near non-existent pay of some groups in the states. It kind of gets obscured by a lot of other issues the country has.

[@kyleellis1825]

@@jetorixjones America has over 400'000 slaves in it right now. They aren't legal but they do exist. Seems you don't know the real world either.

[@randomtology]

I knew about the horrible effects of the cotton gin, so listening to Simon talk about how it's a good idea in total ignorance was like "WAIT FOR IT....."

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Exactly. Slavery was dying out because the cost of feeding/housing them was higher than the pro-rated price of the fruits of their labor. If I remember my American history (learned in 1971) correctly.

[@markkarasik2211]

😎Cotton Gin my foot! Who wants a fluffy martini?

[@filmandfirearms]

To be fair, it was a technology that had massive benefits outside of slavery as well. Slaves or no, cotton was still a valuable commodity, and production demands needed to be met. Unfortunately, the south had always been heavily reliant on slavery, such that North Carolina actually successfully negotiated for a guarantee that, if they signed the Constitution, the federal government would not have the right to ban the importation of slaves for 20 years. By the time that date came, the federal government was more sympathetic to slave owners, and remained as such until Lincoln's inauguration. That had far more to do with the growth of slavery than anything else, the fact that the government supported it and many presidents were even slave owners themselves. Andrew Jackson was particularly pro slavery

[@josephphelps6913]

How is it Simon doesn't know most songs or artists when he hears them? Nor has he watched many movies, apparently. -lol- But he can sure sing every word of a Cher song 🤣

[@brainblaze6526]

I know talent when I see it.

[@cynicalminion]

He does a mean yoko, too...

[@HyperWolf]

@@cynicalminion _inhuman screaming_

[@old_man_fran]

And missed a Robocop callback...

[@Terri_MacKay]

That's because Cher is a goddess, and can do no wrong!!!

[@derekwilliams1169]

Since i first ever had called ID if I didn’t recognize the number I’d answer is like the: “Hello Sergeant Williams of the surrey RCMP how can I help you.” 99% of the time they would hang up and I’d never get a call from them again. My number must be flagged on so many scam call lists because I maybe only get 1 scam call a year now.

[@xerofetus]

"City Morgue, you... A - ...slice 'em, we ice 'em, B - ...kill 'em, we chill 'em, C - ...stab 'em, we slab 'em, Dr. Brennan speaking." - XFRI - BCCA - VII MM21-

[@thecodex0994]

I go with Joe's crematorium you kill 'um we grill 'up if it not an important call (i have most numbers on call id)

[@madalice5134]

I get at least 4-5 a day, so I'm going to have to try some of these answers.

[@kyleellis1825]

@@madalice5134 Just tell them how lonely you are and how happy you are someone called. Then start acting like verything they say turns you on.

[@bettychatfield2544]

When I was a kid I would answer the phone "Chatfield Funeral Home, you stab them, we slab them".... it was funny until my uncle was on the other end

[@Foolish188]

There is always someone in the family without a sense of humor. And they always think they have the greatest sense of humor.

[@jetcitykitty]

You mean your uncle was on the other end of the knife...?

[@bettychatfield1928]

We also would answer with "Chatfield funeral home... if you are not dead yet we can arrange it"... we were really sick

[@ewoodley82]

"Billy Bob's Roadkill, you kill'em, we grill'em"

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

Joe’s Abortion Clinic. You rape ‘em, we scrape ‘em. The 70s was a vile decade.

[@katies7158]

Simon advertising Keeps is like my fat ass advertising weight loss schemes xD "take hydroxycut so you don't have to look like me!" Allegedly.

[@babyruthless9670]

Lol

[@WhatWhy42]

Get yourself someone to help work it off 🥳🙈

[@rivetcrunch3830]

ALLEGEDLY

[@Grey_Warden_Invasion]

Would still work as an advertisement. Or PSA. "Go to your training and watch what you eat so you won't end up looking like me."

[@SpencerGD]

"By the end of 2021, it's estimated that America alone will have picked up a total of 52 billion robocalls throughout the year..." **Big Brain Computing** "A billion a day... 3 per person per day. That is f****ng wild." Ah, that incorrect big brain math never fails to give me a chuckle 😋

[@epowell4211]

well, his math may be wrong, but the results were accurate for me at least lol

[@brandonsizemore3619]

52 weeks 365 days lol

[@joehemmann1156]

"... more money, for both of us." Lololol! It's funny because Danny is a slave! 😂

[@radarlockeify]

In Simon's basement basement. It rubs the script on its skin.

[@joehemmann1156]

@@radarlockeify put the script in the fucking basket!

[@WhatWhy42]

I kinda believe it now

[@SpencerGD]

Allegedly.

[@arnepianocanada]

Cher used Auto-Tune in "Believe" as a colour enhancement - by choice for a singer talented and voice trained in pitch placement. Countless others use it as a crutch, 'limping' to an in-tune standard not manageable on their own.

[@Lessk69]

Rappers are the worst. They have no actual singing talent and sound like robots when they try.

[@NintendoSunnyDee]

@@Lessk69 At least they aren't using it to lie to us like the other singers OP was referring to.

[@Lessk69]

@@NintendoSunnyDee They are though. They have no actual singing talent so they cover it up by sounding like a robot.

[@NintendoSunnyDee]

@@Lessk69 You must not have heard any of T-Pains actual songs where he sung then.

[@NintendoSunnyDee]

@@Lessk69 the sounding like a robot thing is mostly a style choice. Meanwhike, the average autotune user is indistinguishable from a well trained singer.

[@mildlydazed9608]

Smashed the like button when I heard how long the script was.

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

oops. Your finger must have slipped.

[@rivetcrunch3830]

Every American listener was cringing while he was wondering how amazing the cotton gin would be 😂

[@carrielange2692]

I know! I was thinking "please, somebody stop him!" And when he kept going on about it, I was like "dear lord, nobody going to stop him..." 😳😆

[@PhilosoShysGameChannel]

We really want a Danny biographics xD

[@Sandy.J.Lloyd.Sr.]

I agree that’s a great idea, you’ll need to post the comment several times before Simon sees it and responds, you can also post it on Twitter, and Facebook. Danny Salter also has a Twitter account so you can go directly to him and I’m sure the writer for biographics has a Twitter account as well, I don’t know his name. But good luck with your endeavor maybe you can make this happen.

[@ladykoiwolfe]

Oh yes.

[@babyruthless9670]

Take this comment to the top

[@Sandy.J.Lloyd.Sr.]

@PhilosoShy’s Game Channel, I looked up the info you need for the Bio channel, the writer or author is Radu Alexander, the producer’s are Jennifer Da Silva, Alita Bemporad, and the executive producer is Shannon Harris, I hope this helps.

[@jcIndy81]

We got one for Sherlock Holmes, so why not Danny? Naturally, it should be written by Danny.

[@angeladelia7472]

My daughter at times answers her phone with "queens crematorium, you kill em we grill em" 😆

[@hoytdotblohm]

The loss of jobs to the forward March of technology is widely misunderstood. Every day the human race grows at a crazy rate, if we were also lost a huge amount of jobs with every new invention the numbers wouldn’t work out, menial jobs are rapidly replaced with jobs requiring higher education. I really have to say this is a good thing. Allegedly.

[@Big_Tex]

The human race is certainly not growing at a crazy rate. Population growth has declined to a crawl and soon enough will be negative as population begins to decline. As it already has in many countries and very soon will be in China. A big problem this century will be shortage of working age population. But I whole-heartedly agree it’s a good thing when technology displaces jobs. The correct way to view that is, human labor is freed up for more productive purposes. Whereas once nearly everyone was a farmer, today we need very few farmers to produce more food than ever, and now people can be software engineers and Business Blaze hosts instead.

[@Wi-Fi-El]

@@Big_Tex true, but it makes it very hard for people who can't afford college. A high school degree can't even get me hired at Walmart nowadays

[@thepresence365]

@@Big_Tex I think that's only in developed countries, no? There are many countries where the birth rate is still very high.

[@bluishwolf]

@@Wi-Fi-El Just get a certification, like Comptia A+ that costs, like, a couple hundred dollars and is enough to show WalMart you can run a cash register or whatever.

[@JeffreySquires]

Simon, you need to record yourself watching one of these Blazes for the first time after Simon does his magic so we can see yourself react to everything. Than you can upload that video itself for double revenue!

[@JK-gm6kk]

"I'm not familiar with this meme"x58 times

[@newfieocean]

This is the greatest show on the web.

[@robinsoto2700]

100%

[@jgman2645]

Do people still say “net”?

[@ryanroberts1104]

This is why I like the "acoustic" version of most songs...often with a youtube video...the whole band is together, and it is mostly one take. If they can sound as good, or even better than their album - that is talent.

[@SweGrlMom]

Simon: Why is it so long Danny!? Us: 🥰♥️ Danny

[@spacecaptain9188]

Seems like they could give us the option of blocking all calls that originated outside of our own country, or from some specific countries with high occurrences of scam calls.

[@DayZeroChannel]

Vpn

[@spacecaptain9188]

@@DayZeroChannel I'm going to look into that. Thanks.

[@DayZeroChannel]

I mostly had meant, VPN, or through internet voice protocol as well, they will use your zip code numbers and it will show to others, such as government or provider etc. Its coming from USA even though they using stuff to fraudulently make it look like its coming from the US, when not actually originating from here

[@justinwright7297]

Here in Wisconsin, I have been robo called by my own phone number. Was easier to not answer, but was more annoying because the phone system did not auto reject a phone call calling itself. From two different points of the network

[@paulrouth5997]

One of my favorite movies is Office Space and one of the best scenes in it was when they took the copy machine out into the field and whooped on it something fierce. People aren't meant to live like that indeed. Good job Sam.

[@filmandfirearms]

The funny thing is, two of the guys in that group went straight back to an office job. Not even working for a different company or anything, just moving to a different branch of the same company

[@VeraBean]

I think we have it wrong guys. I think Danny has Simon locked up.

[@danielmann6772]

It makes sense. Danny- C'mon fact-boi, you wanna eat? THEN RECORD THE SCRIPT! Simon- But this is the 12th video today! Why do I (we) have to have 75 different channels? Danny- Because business daddy needs a new Ferrari, that's why

[@andab7]

Holy crap.... you're right

[@VeraBean]

Hashtag free Mr. Blaze

[@ChristmasLore]

That's pretty obvious!

[@leholen381]

If someone runs Johnny Cash’s Hurt through auto tune they need to immediately be sent to the worst most fiery part of Hell

[@surferdude4487]

Agreed, but I still want to hear that... once.

[@leholen381]

@@surferdude4487 I found one kzbin.info/www/bejne/bWHUeaNmf6yasLc

[@Foolish188]

@@leholen381 I lasted 5 seconds after Johnny started singing. I wonder how much alcohol I will have to drink today, to block that travesty out of my memory.

[@Foolish188]

@@surferdude4487 Don't read the next comment!!

[@surferdude4487]

@@leholen381 ROFLMAO! It's going to take some time for my ears to stop bleeding. Thanks. :D

[@karstenshields1694]

Let’s be honest Simon doesn’t need Keeps, he looks great bald

[@radarlockeify]

Imagine him with hair!

[@M.V.P.]

@@radarlockeify i think there still are some old today i found out videos on youtube where he has hair and is shaved lol

[@gurrrn1102]

@@M.V.P.Today My Hair Fell Out

[@mackdog3270]

LoL the robo call that I always get is to tell that my car's warranty is about to expire. I don't own a car. I waited once to talk to a person, then told them I don't own a car. They hung up on me.

[@Dan19870]

I love Danny's responses to sales and fraud calls. I previously tried to convince a guy at a call centre that I died in a car crash. we were going around in circles for about twenty minutes. 😂

[@kyleellis1825]

I just make it sound like everything the say turns me on.

[@TimothyBadFastDennis]

I love business blaze!!! The 24/7 channel has changed my life!!!!

[@Legitpenguins99]

Now i understand why my stepdad would answer the phone with "this is Dominos" when i was a kid

[@babyruthless9670]

Hahahahahahahaha I never take calls from unknown numbers, and if rarely I do, I don't say hello, I just wait until someone talks. If there's just silence, it's obviously a robocall and I block that number 🤣

[@flessuh]

Business blaze: the channel you give a like for all videos even while the ads at the start are running!

[@darkon7470]

I fully wait for the day when Simon converts this channel into a inventions he made in his back shed and his beard grows out to so such a large length that it reaches the floor to give him that full on homeless moonshiner look

[@tomflynn8265]

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO THE BASEMENT- Danny, you are my new Hero for The Week! Your scheme/plan to rid yourself of robocalls, bill-collectors, sales-pitches, ex-lovers calling about some "Positive Test", Student Loan schemes, etc. is SUPERB! I am now working on picking up the habit of announcing myself as Lieutenant O'Donnell when answering my phone. Thank you VERY much, and I hope Simon tosses in an extra bread crust and fish head for your weekly meal! Well done Sir, Well Done!!

[@thunderball44]

I got a call from a robot telling me there was a warrant out for my arrest, in the middle of watching this video on my phone. THEY KNOW.

[@charmcrafter7587]

I always love all you shows even when the topic was never interesting before, you make it worth listening to you and Danny. Plus in a previous life you must have been an auctioneer... yet I can absolutely get every word which is awesome. Thank you guys for always making my day.

[@henrypacer2828]

"ID buy that for a dollar" was that a robocop reference?

[@Tubluer]

Nope it's much older.

[@itsapittie]

I believe it originates from the short story "The Marching Morons" by Cyril Kornbluth first published in 1951. The original expression was, "Would you buy that for a quarter?" It was adapted to "I'd buy that for a dollar." in Robocop.

[@jetcitykitty]

Kills robo-calls, Id buy that for a dollar.... Ya'll are dim or very tongue and cheek lol

[@briancrawford8751]

@@Tubluer Yes, it's a very old expression. It was around before Robocop. I remember that pretty clearly.

[@SammaclauseGamgee]

Honestly i don't know if it's more likely Simon saw Robocop or knows the earlier reference

[@matthewryan647]

Danny is famous for being concise...also can we add CGI hair to Simon, I can't picture what he'd look like with hair

[@arnepianocanada]

He had hair in his earliest videos - and still has some, as we can see, which would grow if he didn't shave regularly.

[@Snapxcity]

I saw a video about lobsters being immortal pop up & i was greeted by ‘clean shaven Simon’ it was scary.

[@dmello6068]

I love how simons beard is slowly swallowing his face

[@elizabethscrocker]

😍 I love the lawnmower mention, my grandad love restoring old lawnmower and when he died we donated his collection of 20+ mowers. Put a similar on my face to remember his strange quirks x

[@Zarmac821]

42 minute blaze? Hell fucking yeah

[@bronhaller]

I got a robocall the other day that just said "stay safe, stay home"... that's it! and I don't know if it was a safety message about the pandemic or a threat

[@hulkzinho_ms]

I'm a student at Yale and here in New Haven Eli Witney is a hero. Streets are named after him, our gym, memorials, museums etc. It is quite ironic that at one of the most left-wing Universities, he holds a special place as an inventor without anyone questioning his legacy.

[@nibblitman]

I mean it is a good job fixing a problem and a good invention with from his thought a way to reduce slavery, just ya know unfortunate reality being that whole slavery extending and civil war thing.

[@Bacopa68]

We had a replica of the hand gin at my school. We first had to process cotton by hand, then we used the gin. And learned the story about how this paradoxically led to the expansion of slavery. Of course, this works only if you live in a place where raw cotton is easy to get.

[@amandajones661]

It's a great invention. It's also a great example of trying to fix a problem without truly understanding the problem. Honestly, we do this kind of thing all the time. Kudzu, Asian carp, and Asian beetles are just a few examples where good intentions did harm. Great inventions have led to horrible unintentional outcomes. --- Always a great time to remember that "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." -- So, long story short, he can't be blamed for evil people using his invention to do bad things. At least not totally.

[@Bacopa68]

BTW, I think Whitney made a crap-ton of money off his gun factories. Maybe he gave that money to Yale? In any case, I think the cotton gin lesson I got back in 1980 was the best lesson I ever had. The black kids immediately thought "If we had this, why were there slaves"? The teacher explained that in the early years of the United States most people thought that slavery would become unprofitable. Emancipation and resettlement would happen within decades. But the Gin made slavery a high profit enterprise. The teacher explained that there were plans to free slaves and move them to land grants further west, perhaps creating a majority black free homeland in Alabama.

[@TheGrinningViking]

Here's how I stopped getting the calls. You don't hang up, and if there's a person who asks for information you say "hold on, let me get to my office" and put your phone quietly in your pocket. They will hang up in a few minutes. Waste their time and they will get the hint and stop wasting yours

[@p.l.g3190]

Please, Simon, don't even joke about messing with Johnny Cash's voice. His imperfect vocals have the paradoxical effect of giving his performances more heart than a perfect delivery ever could. I can take a joke, but the thought of auto-tuning Johnny Cash makes me cringe too hard to laugh.

[@Fizzypopization]

All of his music has been autotuned because it's been re-released. Like no one even notices 😂

[@joeycampbell940]

@@Fizzypopization there's a big difference between auto-tuning and remastering.

[@Rationalasylum]

Auto tuning doesn't mean hard correction just slight adjustment

[@p.l.g3190]

@@Fizzypopization , that wouldn't surprise me, but I've been listening to Mr. Cash since the late '60s and got to see him live in concert twice, so I know his unaltered voice is what I love. That's also why the idea of tampering with his vocals -- even slightly -- upsets me so much. I appreciate the attempt, though. God bless you.

[@GimmeJimmy23]

Simon, I had a friend who was tech support for Windows 8, and 8.1, and the Microsoft Surface device (allegedly, IMO), and, I must let you know: the reason the start menu was taken away from Windows 8, was that they put so much emphasis on tailoring Windows to the touch screen environment. They were competing with Apple to have the first "full computer" touchscreen device. If you could make a video about this concept, I'm sure it would lend well on one of your many channels. Allegedly.

[@WarpRadio]

a buddy of mine "EPIC"-cally changed his greeting message to: "BEEP BEEP BEEP you have dialed a coin-operated circuit.. please insert the proper amount to continue"; I LOVE it! I will be doing the EXACT SAME THING when the need to do so arises..

[@ariglobalbusinesssolutions1647]

I've answered the phone as "Final Destination Funeral Home - Burial or Cremation?" .... LOVED the reactions!!!!

[@philipwharton7444]

27:00 Eli Whitney's inventions must have had the two most polar opposite effects in history with his cotton gin causing a massive boom to the slave industry, and interchangeable parts helping the North end it.

[@danielmann6772]

Isn't that (loosely) the plot to Star Wars VIII? Fat Cats getting rich producing goods for both sides of a war.

[@danielpwerlinger]

Almost an an Epic Blaze. We were so close to perfection, yet so far. My disappointment is immeasurable.

[@benracer]

*claps like a royal king* No! Silly blaze boy! I demand long video!

[@tinymac6762]

I'm also bald and have a beard but something I don't have is something absurdly long.... I love that Simon shares that with me.

[@eliscanfield3913]

I dunno, you might be able to count cows, since we bred them to not be aurochs anymore.

[@Jwilliamstech]

Similar to the cell phone greeting I changed my WiFi Hotspot on my to phone to FBI Surveillance Van.

[@CharleyHorse33]

With respect to the cotton gin and the result that resource efficiency led to an expansion of consumption, it's called "Jevon's Paradox". It's named after a fellow of that name who noted that increased coal efficiency meant a greater number of industries could afford to harness that source of power and remain competitive. The result was a massive increase in coal consumption as all those industries expanded production.

[@NikeaTiber]

The fact that I can't stand Simon and still watch videos he hosts is a testament to the quality of the writer here.

[@jazzerzzz22]

Danny's definitely looking to break some kind of intro length record, that probably doesn't exist.

[@andiward7068]

Yet. For the right price Guiness will make it happen. OGBB

[@jazzerzzz22]

@@andiward7068 hahaha true! If you got the $$ you got the record.

[@kylewhite9383]

Simon:"this script is so loooooong, I won't rant for this one." Also Simon: *goes off on a tangent every two sentences* 😂

[@djdange01]

When i was a kid they took us on a field trip to the eli whitney museun in hamden ct where he invented his cotton gin. NEVER HEARD THIS SIDE OF THE STORY TILL TODAY. HE was portrayed as a hero that jump steted the industrial revolution

[@kyleellis1825]

And he was. The businesses after are the ones who perverted it's use.

[@doogal6306]

I live in Southport where that lawnmower museum is… yet to go in and have my mind blown, saving it for a special day.

[@insertname1014]

I’ve heard Lee Mack talk about it on Would I Lie To You?.

[@doogal6306]

@@insertname1014 there’s not much else worthy of noting, except maybe the mossy beach.

[@grimsqueaker437]

…who’s gonna tell Simon that literally every currently recording artist uses some form of pitch correction?

[@jacquelynsmith2351]

David Draiman actually got pissed when he found out the producers put slight autotune on a live performance when he was getting over a cold. That's the first and only time he's ever used autotune. Still a great performance, imo

[@Anatta-Phi]

I'm sure there are Punk Rockers that dont, because, ya'know... Punk Aesthetics

[@robertcarter9535]

Since I have a iPhone it has a function that is silences unknown phone calls if a phone number tries to call me and it’s not on my contact list the phone never even rings… I love it

[@Sandy.J.Lloyd.Sr.]

Simon needs a Robocall from a hair company called Gets, lets hope he doesn't hang up on that one.

[@anselpeneloperainblossom-s3489]

Have you seen the pic of factboy with hair on his head?!? It’s not a pretty sight. Full disclosure- there is no pic of me that is a pretty sight.

[@arnepianocanada]

Or maybe AutoToupée

[@ameliahill3292]

“Did it have to be 15 pages?” I honestly thought the meme was going to be edited to say yes 😂

[@alexandersarchives9615]

I had to look up the “Alien” without auto tune. I don’t even remember that song existing, yeah it sucks… still better than Yoko Oh-no

[@babyruthless9670]

Do you have the link?

[@peterholley5802]

Everything is better than Yoko Ono

[@richiedagger733]

Allegedly

[@alexandersarchives9615]

@@babyruthless9670 I do indeed have a link: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q3mboKqZgq2WaZY

[@redkaven]

Love how Danny and I have the exact same way of picking up the phone except I use "west Cumberland fire service, what's your emergency?"

[@adam.r.parsons]

ABBA double-tracked everything in the studio - even the drums!

[@MrHurst-lb1rn]

Been waiting DAYS for a new BLAZE. Cheers, Simon.

[@charleswarden291]

Simon, have you met Colin Furze? he does exactly what you described....

[@countdrugula1]

In North America you just put your number on the Do Not Call registry and literally never get robocalled unless you owe money to a debtor. How Europe doesn’t have the equivalent is baffling and how residents of NA don’t register their number on the registry is even more baffling.

[@lordnavjot5921]

please imagine {in ANGRY VOICE!}AM I RIGHT PETER!

[@bobfels5343]

Lol even the commercials are hilarious, thx Simon and the whole team :D

[@katashworth41]

The lawnmower museum is in Southport. I’ve been and it’s better than doing nothing at least.

[@DannySalter]

They should put that on the commercials.

[@curtiscraddock4718]

I love it that Simon still can't remember to say "Brain Blaze"

[@KeepEvery1Guessing]

Simon! Why don't you invent a machine in which steel hooks on a wooden drum pull robocallers through a screen?

[@martinturner5484]

Mosquito Greta is the funniest thing I have seen all day. Keep up your excellent work Sam, Simon needs all the memes you can give him.

[@theHotpointHoodlum]

Simon, at least you can still recycle stuff. In my area they have canned most recyclables…. Pun intended

[@Major_plays]

When I get a call from someone I don't know I answer the phone with. "Ming chan's crematorium. U kill em we grill em." Noone says much after that

[@HellDogas]

Pfff, autotune is just a stylistic choice, it's not really helping fix the lack of talent 😁

[@georgedobinson6152]

Simon's beard has outgrown his merch now, and it is looking magnificent

[@lololol626]

“Sorry Canadians.” No no Simon we’re sorry you can’t pronounce Guelph.

[@colinfew6570]

My beautiful home town

[@ladykoiwolfe]

Is it the e or the u that is more noticeable? My guess is the e.

[@lololol626]

@@ladykoiwolfe neither. They’re both noticeable like the word quell

[@Try95th]

I can't either 😬

[@gary2638]

Honestly, we’re just happy to get a mention aha

[@loritracy1385]

Hats off to Danny, the true star of this channel. Well done you. 😁👍

[@jimmiedmc1]

I'm sure if they really cared about auto tune, the Grammys and such would banned auto tune use for awards

[@jetcitykitty]

Fuck the Grammys, right in their fart box! [Blows raspberry]

[@callysushi1043]

Okay so the pic of the bag of sex toys when Simon was talking about recycling made me spit out my coffee 🤣🤣🤣

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

Life with out social media would be nice. I miss those days.

[@rogueviking9268]

#MakeMyspaceGreatAgain

[@mikeferro7879]

Seriously.social media is a plague

[@antoniovillanueva308]

@@mikeferro7879 Then avoid it like the plague?

[@SegwayBossk]

I don't have social media unless you count SueTube. I also don't have friends, family, or a life lol

[@maciej9280]

what is socialmedia? ;)