The powerful first step of conflict resolution | Zab Vilayil | TEDxRRU

[@FortunateFollows]

The story about the tribes in East Africa really moved me. It shows that even the most entrenched conflicts can be transformed with the right approach. There's something really hopeful and inspiring within that

[@sherylrinkler]

The digital balcony thing with emails is spot on. I’ve definitely sent messages I wish I hadn’t. I’m going to start using the “schedule send” button more often, that's really good advice

[@bilbobaggins3rd]

Can definitely relate to his panic during the fireworks... past trauma has such a huge affect on the psyche and it's always surprising the different ways it can resurface.

[@EvilHalt]

The idea of finding possibilities in conflict is pretty cool... I've always seen conflict as a sign that things are ending, but maybe there’s more to it.

[@12100myts]

Taking a step back to reflect is probably the best advice for any emotionally heated situation. It's surprising how many people just don't do that though.

[@xsamiamx]

The world would be a safer place if more of us would go to the balcony more often. Wise words. A unique life experience and wisdom that we can all learn from.

[@zabvilayil]

Thank you!

[@emilmalthe9861]

Perspective and time do wonders for dealing with high emotions. Really great stuff

[@zabvilayil]

Glad it resonated!

[@gabehileski]

I never realized how much our past experiences influence how we handle conflict. It's got me thinking about my own reactions more.

[@zabvilayil]

Self-awareness of past experiences is a key to healthier conflict handling.

[@turkvestule1668]

I never really thought about how war stories might keep conflicts alive. That part made me rethink the movies and books I usually enjoy.

[@zabvilayil]

Thanks for sharing! I'm glad it made you rethink those stories. It’s amazing how media can shape our views on conflict.

[@blaisedominique]

Ahh man I knew right from the beginning when he was saying he was scared of those fireworks that it would be because of some kind of war related trauma, that stuff is so sad but it was great to hear about his journey through all of that 💙💙

[@alexBBmichaels]

I love the fact that he didn’t pretend stepping up to the balcony is easy. It's refreshing when speakers acknowledge that things aren't always simple.

[@65stang]

Sometimes action is what's needed, not more contemplation.

[@my-own-boss]

I never thought about conflict this way before. His story about the fireworks felt really relatable to me. Makes me wonder about my own ingrained reactions to things.

[@zabvilayil]

Wonderful that it resonated!

[@josievannorman]

I kept thinking about my family dynamics during the talk. We've got some old conflicts that could really benefit from this balcony approach.

[@aaronereid]

I like how he connected his childhood experiences to what he does now. It’s really cool to see someone turn tough memories into something positive.

[@TheRealLoveChannel]

The balcony is a great term for that place where we find perspective.

[@hooponopono8528]

I've always seen conflict as something to avoid, but his perspective on it leading to transformation is surprising!

[@raulascaso]

Sometimes I find myself stuck in an "us vs them" mindset. Hearing him talk about breaking that down was tough but also really inspiring.

[@theauthenticiamnow]

Oh I love what he says about conflicts being transformed into new ways of being. That's such a cool perspective shift!

[@zabvilayil]

Thanks and I'm glad you connected with that idea.

[@INitrochat]

His background in conflict zones gives him so much credibility. It's not just theory-he's been right in the thick of it.

[@maureenwatters321]

The idea of transforming conflict instead of just resolving it is new to me. I’m not sure how to do it, but it sounds better than always having to compromise.

[@maverickvassallo]

The balcony idea is pretty interesting. I have a hard time stepping back when I’m mad, but I can see how it might help. Hoping I can remember to do this in the moment.

[@mylescolton]

I like the idea of transforming a conflict when it can't be resolved. That's a really helpful way of thinking

[@theoallan7474]

This feels really idealistic... I appreciate the positivity within it but not all conflicts can be solved by taking a pause and reflecting. Sometimes action is what's needed.

[@derekgraves8758]

I’ve never made a connection between dignity and conflict before but it does add a whole new layer to things

[@zabvilayil]

Dignity is everything. Glad it resonated.

[@samuelygeissler]

I do wish he'd shared more specific examples of how to use the "balcony" approach in everyday situations. Even so, it's a helpful concept for stepping back from arguments.

[@jim-chew]

The idea of finding "rightness in your wrongness" is tough to grasp, but I can see how it could be useful. I'm going to try to keep that in mind.

[@zabvilayil]

Yes it’s tough to grasp at first, but finding value in a counter narrative is a game changer. Glad it resonated!

[@harryduganesq]

The idea of conflict as a muscle you need to exercise is intriguing... I've always just avoided conflict and yeah my capacity for dealing with it is pretty low

[@SinfulTrust]

I wish I'd heard of the balcony thing years ago, took me a long time to learn how to take a step back and not assume the worst of other peoples actions

[@zabvilayil]

Thanks for sharing! This mindset really does make a difference as a starting point. It’s never too late to start using that perspective!

[@TenderWolfAdvertising]

The thought of conflict being potentially good is new to me. I’ve always seen it as something to avoid, but maybe there’s a different way to view it.

[@honeyissweetforme]

At the risk of sounding 'woke'... We need more people willing to take a step back, reflect and try to understand the perspectives of others.

[@williammathews1648]

I think some may use his advice as an excuse to avoid dealing with conflicts head-on.

[@gabekilljoy]

I kept thinking about work conflicts during this talk. I’m wondering if my team could use some of these ideas to handle our project disagreements better

[@zabvilayil]

I'm glad the talk resonated with you. It sounds like applying the main idea to your team's project disagreements could be really beneficial.

[@gemi10togood]

Gonna try that balcony thing next time my roommate leaves dishes in the sink for a week 😂

[@lucy-diamonds]

I think this stems from how reactive people are. We're just not taught to think critically and take our time anymore

[@zabvilayil]

Well said! Slowing down and thinking critically is underrated.

[@CyberFlossLord]

Maybe I'm a bit slow, but I think some more practical advice on how to actually 'step up to the balcony' would be helpful for me

[@ninamenes]

Not sure I fully understand how conflicts don't need to be resolved, but can be transformed?

[@teddybearlemaire]

The potato mashing story had me laughing. It reminds me of when I studied abroad and kept messing up the simplest things. Cultural differences can be so wild.

[@michealrighini]

I can see how stepping back to the balcony sounds good in theory but I don't think it's practical in high-stress situations. Sometimes you have to take immediate action and just don't have the luxury of taking a pause.

[@shanteydevers]

What if you're dealing with someone who actively provokes you?