The Problem with ''Autism Mom'' Merch (and what to buy instead)

UPDATE: I have my own merch shop now! www.redbubble.com/people/Neur...
Support my work! (one-time donation) ➤ www.neurolushia.com/p/support...
I got a Facebook ad for a shirt that can be harmful to autistic people. I explain why the shirt is harmful, and some alternatives that are more supportive.
The Ableist History of the Puzzle Piece: intheloopaboutneurodiversity....
How Autism Speaks has NOT been kind to autistic people: intheloopaboutneurodiversity....
Before you donate to Autism Speaks, consider the facts: autisticadvocacy.org/wp-conte...
Self-regulation methods that have helped me feel my best: blogs.psychcentral.com/neurod...
Fierce Autie edited the sunflower shirt design and made it auesome!
"It takes a lot of sparkle to be Autistic" www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/484...
BETTER AUTISM MERCH, FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE (that supports #ActuallyAutistic people)
NeuroLushia Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/Neur...
Neurodivergent Rebel: www.zazzle.com/store/neurodiv...
Neurodiversi-Tee: teespring.com/stores/neurodiv...
Growing Up Autie: www.growingupautie.com/clothe...
Fierce Autie: www.redbubble.com/people/fier...
BETTER AUTISM T-SHIRTS, FOR PARENTS, FRIENDS AND ALLIES
"Autism Acceptance"
www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/416...
www.zazzle.com/autism_accepta...
"#RedInstead Autism Acceptance"
www.zazzle.com/redinstead_aut...
"Light it up gold - Autism Acceptance"
www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/L...
"Celebrate Neurodiversity"
www.ebay.com/itm/Celebrate-Ne...
"Embrace Neurodiversity" sandytee.com/tee/neurodiversi...
"Neurodiversity is human diversity"
www.zazzle.com/neurodiversity...
Vanessa Blevin's page "Parenting Through The Fog": / parentingthroughthefog
Autism Support Groups & Resources ➤ goo.gl/Bd10tg
Subscribe ➤ / neurolushia
Gaming Channel (Twitch) ➤ / lushiagaming
My Blog ➤ www.www.neurolushia.com
Facebook ➤ / neurolushia
Twitter ➤ / neurolushia
--MUSIC CREDITS--
"Inspired" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
"George Street Shuffle" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...

[@NeuroLushia]

UPDATE: I have my own merch shop now! www.redbubble.com/people/NeuroLushia/shop P.S. I recognize that there are autistic folks who like the puzzle piece, person first language etc. and I wanted to mention it. We are all different and it's normal and expected for us to have different preferences and opinions and that's totally okay. I think the important thing at the end of the day is that we are treating each other kindly and listening to each other. Y'all are valid.

[@sonicfan82]

Thank you for mentioning that there are people on the spectrum who does like the puzzle piece,because usually when they come out and say it,they get bullied for it or they are forced to like a symbol that they don’t see meaning with to be a part of a group.

[@pepsyboo]

“It takes a lot of sparkle to be an autism mom” just reads like “it’s really fucking hard to love my kid, most of y’all couldn’t handle it, they’re that much of a pain in the ass.”

[@revolutionradio2244]

My mom doesn't need a shirt to let me know I'm a life-destroying burden.

[@NeuroLushia]

I'm so sorry :'(

[@CYB3R_MOON]

Mine with my dad *not bio* but a fucking tattoo that gives me dread 😭💀

[@ThisGirlReviews]

I respectfully commented on this women's tiktok about autism with the puzzle piece. She blocked me. 😣 No one wants to acknowledge that some people find that symbol uncomfortable.

[@NeuroLushia]

Yep, some people prefer to stay in their bubble of ignorance.

[@RememberingGooHara]

@@NeuroLushia so let me clear something up. You would rather use a rainbow infinity symbol that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? Because how about we break down THIS symbol for a moment.. Infinity represents 'forever'. So... Forever what? So far makes no sense. Then you have all the rainbow colors on it, which btw already belongs to & represents LGBT! So the only thing I can picture out of this is 'gay forever'. There's no other way I see it.

[@Zacky51188]

@@RememberingGooHara No but it's more positive than the puzzle piece denoting negativity and the meaning perpetuating stigma behind it. Despite that, the Infinity symbol appears negative to you is probably because you dislike LGBT people and you associate it with being "forever gay" as in forever sexually warped. However that doesn't mean the symbol is negative in itself. If you read up about its meaning properly. It represents continous diversity, infinity in a well rounded circle of acceptance and diversity. The problem is that you don't realize your own comment sound a little intolerant with negative assumptions.

[@Ann963]

@@RememberingGooHara the infinity rainbow symbol has nothing to do with LGBTQ+ or any specific organization. (Blue and the puzzle piece primarily are associated with Autism Speaks, which is why we wanted a symbol that was not associated with any single organization. Baby blue was chosen specifically because of being associated with boys (children, infantilization). The link about the puzzle piece in the video description is very informative.) The rainbow was chosen to represent all the variety of neurodivergence’s that exist (autism, adhd, ocd, Tourette’s, schizophrenia, ptsd, depression, ALL of them). The infinity loops were chosen to represent that we are all human and worthy of respect. The infinity symbol can mean “forever” but it can also me “all” or “without end” or “no exceptions.” Together it means: all neurodivergent people are worthy of human dignity and respect. EDITED for spacing

[@Ann963]

@@RememberingGooHara The rainbow does not “belong” to LGBTQ+ It usually means diversity, many kinds. (LGBTQ+, autism mom merchandise use rainbow colors, the rainbow infinity for neurodiversity, etc) Or, if you are a Christian, the promise that God would not destroy the world again by flood. (after Noah’s ark)

[@backspacedboy]

I don't think the analogy with a ND family raising NT kids is accurate. It's not just the child being different from us and our community, it's first and foremost the society creating and maintaining a million barriers for ND folks. NT parents struggle with how their ND child never "fits in" and it's not something a ND parent of a NT child would have any issue with

[@jacquelynkarney9001]

I really appreciate the time you took to make this and educate people. I am a teacher and have always felt that autistic people were just wired differently! There is nothing “wrong” with them. A lot of parents need validation, and I find the first few t-shirts you shared offensive. Thanks again!

[@RememberingGooHara]

This is a problem. You're romanticizing autism, acting like everything is just so wonderful and perfect. Being autistic IS A STRUGGLE that we have to live with for the rest of our lives! We're not asking you to see us differently. We're asking you to accept us the way thst we are and help us get through the struggles we go through.

[@jamesheady7216]

This is my first time of watching your channel. It’s absolutely refreshing after the ABA therapy video that I saw before this one from a KZbin channel called fathering autism. Thanks for putting this one out here to correct the record.

[@annaradford6752]

I have found in life that I have to learn how to word things to people and even break things down that I want to say/type to someone. I have never found myself interested in getting a Autism merch but I did find a really great one in the list of links you have put. Still I not think I will get one as design have to be something but I would think that is me being picky. I have that hard time of know other people with different things wrong what ever disable thing or something gone on in their life. I am so glad I am still Sub to your Channel :D

[@NeuroLushia]

Glad the lists of merch helped! I am picky about shirts, so I am considering creating my own version of a design I like. I may even start my own merch store at some point. Thanks for being subbed to my channel, you're awesome (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[@alienwizard3695]

To say that it is more difficult to be the parent of someone that is autistic then someone that is not autistic is like saying it is more difficult to be the parent of A boy then it is to be the parent of A girl. If the parent is competent enough to adapt to conditions imposed there should not be A problem, unfortunately that is not usually the case. 6:19 - 7:01 My favorite part of this video. Just to clarify, I like the entire video. I'm glad that I am neurodivergent, I can solve problems in seconds that take neurotypical people several minutes or even hours. My problem is communicating the answer to someone that does not use logic. Thank you for the informative video, I am subscribed and notifications are on.

[@NeuroLushia]

I agree! Autistics are simply different from neurotypicals, so there's a good chance that the "difficulty" is due to communication differences. And yet, autistics are the ones viewed as fundamentally "flawed" which I disagree with. The DSM and medical model have likely contributed to how neurotypical people view autistic people. Thanks for subscribing! You're awesome (☞^ヮ^)☞

[@alienwizard3695]

True, the way we are viewed is the problem. Which means the problem can be fixed, what you are doing on your channel is part of the solution. Thank you for helping people to see the truth.

[@nicholasclaus9695]

The first shirt I would buy if they changed the last two words to autistic person or to be autistic and changed the symbol to a gold bar orange gold infinity symbol

[@amberschoepflin3618]

I have 2 kids that are autism i have a shirt that says proud to be autism mom I don't see anything wrong with it my kids ain't a broaden I wouldn't change a thing with my kids I don't agree with stuff you read or say I am a single mom and I wouldn't change it

[@aesthetic_wreck5574]

@Jennifer Defoor respectfully, I have a problem with that kind of statement, because that implies that autism is a disease, which just medically isn't true. Autism is a developmental disorder that has no cure, needs no cure, and doesn't need "awareness." While I am sure you don't have malicious intentions, what is more important to the autistic community is acceptance and proper accommodations.

[@Bubblegum-xm5cg]

That's fine. These videos are mostly about toxic symbolism and such, like puzzle pieces and light up blue.

[@Ann963]

Did you read the history of the puzzle piece? Have you listened to a wide variety of autistic creators? Did you watch this video, in which she explains the issues that autistic people have with certain symbols and the industry making money off of stigmatizing autistic people? Autism can be hard. But it is hardest for the autistic person. These harmful messages turn parents into martyrs. It’s a step above praising the mother who put her “changling” baby out in the forest to die and “go back to the fairies.” Autism awareness and acceptance needs to come from actually autistic people. Just like black people tell their own stories, gay people tell their own stories, Deaf people tell their own stories, and women tell their own stories: center the people with the characteristic, not the people who are adjacent. Yes, the parents of autistic children should be able to share their experiences, but not above the voices of autistic people themselves.

[@Zacky51188]

Why red? Does red really represent autism? Does it help autistic children manage their traits to overcome their developmental disability? How does the Autism Acceptance community help autistic children overcome their disability? What alternative treatment and therapy do you recommend for severely autistic children afflicted by severe disability who cannot for example wash, brush their teeth, clean, study and able to concentrate, find a job? What are your suggestions for destructive head banging acts or stubborn, overly outburst of meltdowns displayed by their non-eye contact child? It's very difficult and the parent feel helpless why her son or daughter is so unpredictable, slow and mysterious?

[@lillypilly6440]

None of it helps and they are against anyone working to improve themselves or even talk about good nutrition. They get mad when you talk about nutrient deficiencies. The groups I have been are so narrow minded and are not interested in building skills and talking about ideas to cope with the world .

[@Zacky51188]

@@lillypilly6440 At least some autistics are stable and able to accept and empower themselves. They are just neuro divergent thus having different perceptions of beauty and neatness. They are very detailed oriented and neticulous in certain tasks like computing or working with numhers.

[@lillypilly6440]

@@Zacky51188 not all autistic people are good with numbers and neat. I think the more confident and happy autistic adults will stay away from the autistic community as it can be so toxic

[@Zacky51188]

@@lillypilly6440 Why would you think that? Autistic people who are not severely afflicted by developmental or mental issues but are mildly neuro diverse can accept themselves for who they are and don't need to be fixed. They are not suffering and don't need people to treat them when there is nothing to be treated. Some treatments such as ABA can feel forced upon and manipulative which is boderline abusive because it regards autism as a disease instead of a neurodiverse personality with different needs and wants. It's very scary and overwhelming for the autistic person to be forced with neurotypical behaviour and sensory perceptions. It's ableist. It's no wonder we deplore the puzzle piece. Not all Autistics are broken. #redinstead

[@lillypilly6440]

@@Zacky51188 I wasn't even talking about ABA. I was talking about taking care of physical health conditions as being important. Things like nutrition deficiency can really impact on someones life and their are many other strategies and things that can help people. It is the narrow mindedness of the autistic community and the projection which is really frustrating to deal with. Some people take things personally when someone is talking about their own experiences and or is just expressing ideas.