The Problematic Daughter-in-Law - Mufti Menk

[@Fatimah_Song]

My heart is full of pain whenever someone reminds me of in-laws

[@myspecialhamza8082]

Allah is there and always watching our situation ....Allah resolved my situation after a long good time of 10 years of marriage but Allah did in a beautiful way. Patience always win 👍

[@dreaming_girl_haseena]

True.

[@aidamaghrabi1834]

Wooow you being very patient I didn't last 3 months 😵😵 I was out . Now way 10 years

[@myspecialhamza8082]

@@aidamaghrabi1834 Sister you can have a look at my son ,who is blind and Autistic and we are raising him and now he is 13 years and InshaAllah he will be many more years with us but it's Allah's wish we have to keep patience ... And after 13 yrs Allah moulded my child so beautifully Alhamdulillah 😇

[@Silatifa25]

The right thing to do is having their own home. Once you married you must have your life as a couple. Living all together in the same place is not religion, it is cultural. I not gonna say all mothers in low are bad but most of them make the life of the couple really difficulty.

[@savageyt7447]

Same here

[@mistertexaz]

It is cultural, but Islam also says to take care of your parents right? What if they are sick as well..

[@summayakhan3607]

@@mistertexaz then her son, daughters and if she still has a husband must take care of her. If the daughter and her have a good relationship then she will also pitch in but it is not her duty and most of the time it’s expected that the daughter in law do the duty instead of her own children.

[@trueseeker270]

Plz pray for my newborn baby who is admitted in hospital for 9 days.

[@aishahanwar2786]

InshaAllah

[@myspecialhamza8082]

May Allah ease your pain ...Ameen

[@abdiaziizaadan3327]

Insha Allah my sister

[@Bint_Fadl_Ahmad]

May Allah swt make things easier for you and your partner, in shaa Allah. Ameen

[@Jay-ty6uj]

May Allah help you ameen

[@unaishakhan161]

The best solution is for the daughter in laws to have their own separate house. I absolutely agree that there should be respect on both sides. From my own experience, I was never good enough for my in laws, they always thought of me lower than them. I tried my best to gain their love and respect and got rejected over and over again.

[@uzmaahmed.catmoon]

I agree

[@ganisheguri8320]

Same here 🙄

[@shamsahennadesigns6279]

I agree but how I can get my own house ..if your husband has money but not brave enough to do..

[@safinanyakulinga7571]

I get you, i have been trying so jard to be accepted but over the years its getting worse. I remind him to be close and put myself aside coz i just tend to be depressed more and i am not enjoying my marriage coz it like am in a battlefield with his family

[@zarashaikh3137]

I could'nt agree more

[@RisalatMarium]

Why aren’t online classes as interesting as this is.

[@Han___000]

Ikr school education system is useless

[@imgoingtosleepnow96]

@@sadafsid1 no, they are not talking about mufti’s online class.

[@parahydroxycarbaldehyde]

😂

[@eoconner8429]

Because most of the profs don't like their job

[@madihasiddiqua2086]

Bcz nothing is more beautiful than our deen so everything about it is interesting for us n we just connect Alhamdullilah

[@sobiarashid9880]

I request all in-laws to let their married sons and daughters-in-law live separate from them and let them develop their beautiful marital relationship without any interference from both sides. I have been a daughter -in-law living with my in-laws for last 2 decades. But for myself I have no plan of keeping my married sons and their families with me bcoz I believe in the importance of good relationships and respect. Living together leaves people valueless and respectless in one another's eyes.

[@faridafathima1885]

Exactly I too prefer to keep son and daughter in law to live peacefully...living in joint family there is lot of interference of in-laws...

[@savageyt7447]

💯 correct .it sounds dat u will be a good mil hope u get a good dil

[@sobiarashid9880]

@@savageyt7447 In shaa Allah

[@happyguy201]

Sometimes it's difficult. Like maybe parents too old and vulnerable and need their sons help. But it's better to live separately and have peaceful relations with in laws. Alhumdulilah it's happened in my family and worked.

[@Daytym]

In todays time I’ve seen worse daughter in laws than mother in laws

[@yuuki1508]

Pls pray for my mother, she has been suffering head-ache everytime and a sevior problem, which i can't tell on internet. Pls pray for her💝💖

[@Yeshuaservant]

Pray in the name of Jesus and your mother will be healed. praying to allah won't work! God mercy comes through Jesus. Your mother needs healing, Jesus raised the dead, the blind saw, the cripple, it's easy for him to heal your mother. I pray in the name of Jesus for your mother, let all her sins be wash away as well as this severe headache. I break this sickness away in the name of Jesus from her once and for all. Believe with me and the prayer will work!

[@zakeerhussain5027]

Inshaallah

[@MdAnasRollno]

@@Yeshuaservant sorry dear but we pray in the name of allah

[@lilaoueldamar4734]

Li shfi my friend May Allah protect her🙏🌺🐣❤️

[@Yeshuaservant]

@@MdAnasRollno allah can’t help anyone. No one know who he is. Jesus still heal people today, the choice is his to believe or not.

[@roxx8182]

Unfortunately, ive seen people like this or bad in laws and they watch videos like this but they won't admit or see that they are doing this. They think about everyone else apart from themselves. We need to look at ourselves and whether we do this and if we should improve ourself first! They point at everyone else

[@myspecialhamza8082]

Even I have dealt with such people.

[@dgeg1000]

Correct. I think this is a huge problem for many. Some people tend to think they never do anything wrong and always think these issues is about others when in fact it describes themselves pretty good.

[@hermionegranger6986]

EXACTLY

[@mahammedumar7616]

Jazakallah for speak about this topic , iam desperately looking for this . May Allah give hidaya to such people.

[@whatsgoingon6313]

My daughter in law was raised controlling her parents was given everything she wanted & shown no morals. Comes into my family trying to control us my household & wants things her way & all hell broke loose ! Ten years later I’ve closed doors on her still has no respect ! She still treats her parents this way. Feel sorry for my son but wish him the best. None of my business never was & never will ! I will never help ever again in any way.

[@lethalbullet4293]

Some relations are toxic by nature there will be lots of tic and tacs pray Allah gives everyone direction to respect each other Ameen

[@NonanoN-er6de]

Ppl will be scared to have a relationship with some1 who has a bullet tho

[@wardasaid8709]

simple solution- everyone has their own accommodation full stop, that's sunnah, daughter-in-law is under no islamic obligation to serve the in-laws. Every daughter in law wants their own space be it physical and mental. I have rarely seen daughter in law bossing around , she has a lot more to lose, never seen that to be honest but plenty of mother in laws expecting more from their daughter in law than their own daughter. May Allah give us some wisdom.

[@SkyReaper]

“Never seen that to be honest.” Tell that to my brother’s wife who would not let him see my sick elderly mother or father for 15 minutes in a whole week. Just because youve never heard of something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Mufti Menk made this video for a reason. Because domination exists both ways. Break out of your little bubble, sister.

[@hey_itzz_mee.]

This is not true now a days daughter in laws are more dangerous and abusive with old parents

[@Sazangentian]

I think the reason for that is because dil will not accept the things our mothers did. As well as being more educated now and learning to stick up for themselves. Maybe they turn that way because of how they are treated.. Hence why it's necessary all parties understand their Islamic rights to have a peaceful family and separate accommodations

[@emma647]

@@SkyReaper you mean your brother didn't see his elderly mother or father by his own choice, unless his wife had him tied up, he was responsible for his own decisions, if anyone told me to not see my own parents you bet your bottom dollar i would NOT listen, you just want to scapegoat his wife because its easier for your to blame her then realise you have crappy brother.

[@SkyReaper]

@@emma647 it’s not like she’s supportive either. If the brother is crappy so is the wife. Equally, if not worse.

[@attiyasmail6740]

Jazakallah Kheiren Sheikh for speaking for those who face difficulty with their daughter in-laws.Although the number of such cases are far less compared to the reverse scenario.All my life I have seen women going through so much suffering in the hands of their husband’s families.Its unimaginable systematic abuse.Allah is Al-Baseer,The all Seeing.May Allah make our sisters strong enough( emotionally & financially )to defend themselves without hurting others.”If you don’t kill,you will be killed”attitude is WRONG .We are humans,not animals.

[@notsure920]

Brother you need to do more on son in-law, culture has made the man seem like as if he has to do nothing for his wife’s parents. Also, he believes his wife does not have to do much for her parents. Please address this

[@IMMI378]

Tbh a women doesn’t have any duty towards his Husband’s parents and same with men. If anyone is helping their partner’s parent then it’s his/her good deed but not obligatory for anyone be it men or women...

[@bunny9489]

Please do let us know what does son in law go through? With his in laws

[@holyfun200]

@@IMMI378true, but Muslim men seem to think they can act as if the woman has no parents at all. Never call, never visit and never encourages his wife to visit her own parents. He does have responsibilities as a member of the family, so do daughter in laws. Occasional phone calls, mutual respect, showing kindness to the people who raised your spouse is not a big ask and would be encouraged in Islam.

[@gentjanahoxha5157]

May Allah bless you and grant you Janah .This videos are amaizing.

[@kitt7477]

I have never heard of a new daughter- in-law who screems & has bad language around her in- laws. Most new brides are very shy & only try to please everyone.

[@Gujii-xo]

It's very common in London unfortunately..

[@rabiahussain4338]

@Gulnaz Shahwar hahahaha... kya jawab dia hai😂🤣🤘

[@farahjafry3673]

Agree

[@tazb1110]

Visit pakistan and u will c

[@Nehalkhan-bb3il]

Nobody start shouting in a day..in 80 percent cases...they are considered slaves...one not only to cook for his parents but also the adult daughters.. they expect to serve their adults kids too.. not just cooking... Mother in law when go outside.. she is fine.. visit people and market's .. everything but one it comes to home cores... Oh i am aged... Their daughter still idle in homes.. most of the times husband do nothing..on saying something.. we are threatened you can leave this House... Daughter in law is considered a dangerous thing who will their son but on contrary they cant even see their smiling with their wife.. mother in law bp shoots..

[@ChaosAlpha]

There can never be tranquillity in a house that allows the daughters to sleep till late and expects the daughter-in-laws to wake early to make them breakfast.

[@hkhan4394]

So true,

[@savageyt7447]

💯 but Allah will bless all for good deeds

[@ZaharahFitness]

These mothers get their sons married ONLY to have free slave

[@guguhlongwane6079]

I'm at point where I want to end my marriage

[@PrInCeSsuk8]

Exactly not fair very sad

[@adha2870]

Asalam Walikum My Beloved Daddy always put my mommy on a high pedestal and treated her and us his daughters and sons with such love and kindness. His thought full ways was forever humbling. He too help my mommy with doing the dishes and sweeping the kitchen floors and bathroom floors and scrubbing the tub and doing all this especially the dishes before he leave to pick up my mom form work. I know because I would be on the phone with him🤍 October -2014 my beloved darling daddy passed away he was only 66 years old. May Allah SWT reward him immensely and grant him utmost mercy and forgiveness and May Allah SWT grant my beloved daddy to wake up in Jannatul Firdose and for all parents and everyone. Aameen Aameen Aameen summah Aameen Rabil Alameen Allahuma Aameen 🤲🏼🤍💦😭😭😭

[@ФамилияИмя-ж1ю]

Ameen ya Allah

[@adha2870]

@King khan Great khan Asalam Walikum. Jazak Allahu khiran Brother. If you only knew my Daddy he would have said to you that he would buy you a Gift 🎁 that’s true to his humbling heart. May Allah SWT reward your parents and you the highest rank in Jannatul Firdose Aameen Aameen Aameen summah Aameen 🤲🏼💦

[@Adam_Blue15]

That's beautiful, I wish everyone has a father like u did. I have never experienced that not with my father or husband but inshallah I will try and raise my sons to be that way.

[@annatuyakubu1020]

Allahuma Ameeeen

[@Adam_Blue15]

@King khan Great khan no never, he loves me and my children but he just doesnt do anything to show it 🤣 he works hard and comes home to us I appreciate him but the love and caring side she was describing her father to be , that i have never experienced. Me and my husband never laugh or talk with each other, but we dont fight either😐

[@emma647]

Stop having your wives live with your extended family and a lot of issues will resolve themselves inshallah....

[@hanzalaomar3234]

Why?

[@theloyaltyfamily190]

@@hanzalaomar3234 because it's stressful and couples need privacy not living with extended family.

[@kamilaniaz7380]

@@theloyaltyfamily190 vry very true

[@hanzalaomar3234]

@@theloyaltyfamily190 Also, the women can easily abuse their husbands that way. Extended family keeps women in line.

[@theloyaltyfamily190]

@@hanzalaomar3234 woman can abuse there husband's anywhere lol 🤣 even Infront of inlaws

[@deenamirza5315]

JazakAllah Shaikh, the way you put things forward is so humble and beautiful. We really want and feel like correcting ourselves .

[@thehelpingbrother7870]

*Sahih al-Bukhari 528* *Narrated Abu Huraira:* *I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, "If there was a river at the door of anyone of you and he took a bath in it five times a day would you notice any dirt on him?" They said, "Not a trace of dirt would be left." The Prophet (ﷺ) added, "That is the example of the five prayers with which Allah blots out (annuls) evil deeds."*

[@maryammirza2776]

Daughter in law message for you please, respect your inlaws too because one day you will be in the same place as them. You will become a mother in law too one day In'Sha"Allah so think wisely.

[@cherotichhajira1774]

Masha Allah so many out there are treating their daughters inlaw so badly..thank u mufti

[@saimahalim1142]

When a girl is married for her beauty or her status or her wealth rather than her religion and vice versa for a boy...the marriage is bound to fail...we often live the way we want instead of living it the way Allah wants us to live and then complain that marriage is not beautiful...

[@sana-bz1gs]

I have tried everything to please my In-laws..I even served my sister-in-law's family with ours for them to accept me but they are never pleased..I follow hijab and they want me to chit chat with my brothers-in-law..If I refuse they call me unsociable..In that family hierarchy I come the last(probably)...I was ill after coming out of hospital (that also because of negligence of my husband) she and her daughter would criticize my husband if helped even with only the heavy household work..My husband is manipulated in such a way that he mentioned that we shouldn't have a child and take care of his sister's children even though their parents are well off and alive...They just wanted a servant not a daughter-in-law...It's the joint family system in the subcontinent ...

[@bg5462]

Masha Allah Sheik Shukran for addressing this situation May Allah guide you and grant you jannah .Ameen

[@ibrahimmuse4919]

MA SHA ALLAH TABARAAK IT'S VERY GOOD LECTURE JIZAKUMU ALLAH KHEYRAN SHIEKH ISMAIL MENK

[@sabasamrin1788]

Masha’allah this is the most beautiful advice for a girl.. may Allah bless you immensely.. Ameen

[@evemerc96]

I am usually very happy to listen to mufti menk videos but this one has really hit a nerve. As women we are always the ones told to conform and suppress our selves. Make sacrifices while the men do as they please. Women have been subjected to such abuse from the beginning of time. Islam is meant to liberate women from men, and this video is just giving men something to use against women. This video isn't promoting marriage. No woman invisioned married life as waking up at 4 in the morning, cleaning, cooking and bending herself to fit in to the family she married into. Marriage should be a beautiful thing not a form of imprisonment. The truth is more daughter inlaws are abused than mother inlaws. More women are abused than men. Women these days work, earn their own money own their own homes and cars but are still expected to scrub the floors their husband walks on. This is inequality! We should all learn to get along while living in different households that's a given, respect is a given. But moulding yourself to fit in, depriving yourself of sleep, cleaning up because no one else is, all of this is absurd and degrading. Very few women sit at home and look through a window all day, we do just as much as men if not more. This comment is not to offend anyone! As a Muslim woman I feel a need to comment. This video didn't make much sense to me, it's making marriage sound like an awful thing for a woman.

[@hanzalaomar3234]

You have to obey your husband. Islam doesn't liberate women from men rather gives men authority over women.

[@emma647]

@@hanzalaomar3234 whoever is cooking the food has the power hehehheeh

[@hanzalaomar3234]

@@emma647 Not really, especially when it's encouraged for husband and wives to eat from the same plate. Bet you didn't know that lol

[@linaloqki]

thank you for the comment. I was also surprised that this was kind of against daughters in laws. Often the mothers don‘t accept the wifes because she „stole“ her son from her. You can do everything right and will always still be always wrong. If you don‘t like the wife who‘s taking care of your son for the rest of his life how do you expect the couple to be happy if the mother doesn‘t approve?

[@evemerc96]

@@hanzalaomar3234 Go educate yourself regarding Islam. You clearly know very little to nothing.

[@AnwarKhan-tj9ix]

Jazakallaho khair ya Shaikh, Allah bless you and protect you.

[@gracious1790]

Thank you for this advice. May Allah continue to bless you. Aameen.

[@swaleha.m.shaikh9171]

Assalam wa alaikum mufti menk, I feel peaceful when you will be preaching.

[@swaleha.m.shaikh9171]

I respect my in laws... But they think always negative of us... What to do menk please lemme know.

[@AyeshaKhan-xp1uk]

Walaikum Assalam wa barkatuhu tysm for the vediios may Allah bless u and all of us, Ameen

[@nafeesahsurroop9791]

Alhamdulilah Mufti ,am the one who entered in new family as daughter -in- law and I was expected to cook lots of food and dessert for the family but nothing work my mother-in-law keep making me cry as the food was really tasty but she keep telling me it's disgusting food they make me ,be like a slave and my sister- in- law make bad actions with mens infront of me astakfiroullah and she put that on my head, blamed me lots and couldn't defend me as I was crying,shaking lots my husband was in their side wipes his sister tears but still crying with Allah to not make my father know of this. Even more they try 3time to kill me but Allah save me, Alhamdulilah now with lots of patience Allah make my husband understand and see who is wrong we went far away and still every weekend we call them but on phone my mother-in-law swear at me 😭

[@addisachannel169]

you have family you dont leave them go way

[@PrInCeSsuk8]

@@addisachannel169 hun?

[@babeena_gt_3645]

What about the problematic son-in-law? The one who thinks he rules the house because he's the only male in it? The one who cusses and hits the younger females in the family even though he is not their father. The one who moved into his mother-in-law's home who is a widow, and thinks that he can take control of her and her children. What about the problematic son-in-law who doesn't need to be in the mother-in-law's house?

[@nasveen8477]

Thank you Shiekh... I am going to become bride soon and the negative thoughts are rounding in my mind. This speech of yours was I think meant specially for me. Thank u for pampering positivity into my mind.

[@Mercury688]

“Respect for all sides” means giving the wife the ability as a human being to live how she chooses to live as an adult. Slavery is not respect.

[@noorael-keilani5688]

What about the sisters in-laws? Sisters of the husband interfering in the relationship of the married couple?

[@lisarey1969]

Nice video mufti !!

[@asmrcooking8016]

My In laws are very toxic.. Always cursing me and my family including my dead father.. My husband stands with me sometimes even understand me but still keeps silence as he can't fight with his parents. When asking for a new place he is not ready to leave his parents even after they are wrong. I am srsly fed up of all this left my husband home after falling super sick and still they expect me to do all chores even when I am sick and need rest. I said enough is enough took my 2 yrs old n left my home! I am scared to what gonna happen ahead.. I hate our culture so much that makes us DIL's so low that even sympathies are not given to us

[@ishrahussain6522]

how r u now dear whats the situation may Allah make ease for you

[@asmrcooking8016]

@@ishrahussain6522 thanks for your concern dear! Situation is much better right now. After me leaving my husband n in laws understood my value I guess they did apologize in their own ways n I came back after a month. They treat me so much better now. Alhamdulillah so good

[@ishrahussain6522]

@@asmrcooking8016 alhamduliah alhamduliah may Allah keep you happy with your family always Remember me in prayers as well i ll be married soon

[@hahahaha4536]

love u mufti menk for no reason

[@elishaaazee6184]

I think the biggest lies ever told are. She is not our DIL she is our daughter. She is not our SIL she is our sister.

[@Sevenarrowsacademy]

There isn't ANY way I'd EVER live with my in laws!!!

[@genyaaaaaaa7339]

Mashallah always kept me motivated

[@myspecialhamza8082]

MashaAllah .

[@farahjafry3673]

I have less control on my anger, may Allah forgive me. Though influenced by people or topics,still its not good. Despite of trying to do something good, my efforts went in vain because i could not present my thoughts n feelings in well manner. Now i feel sorry and trying to be a better one. I have always dreamt to have my own home to live in with my husband n child, and keep a good link with others from distance but due to anger issue i am losing it a bit. Please everyone keep us in your prayers so that i can get back what i always wished, by the grace of Almighty Allah.

[@nadiyaahmed9838]

Same

[@misbahhabib8866]

At 3:40 you said “who is going to do all the work. The cleaning.”Why can’t in-laws continue with their personal chores that they were doing from before? The d in law should do her own cleaning etc. cooking can be divided among the m in law and d in law and s in law. The problem is everyone expects the new d in law to shoulder all responsibilities and that’s not fair is it.

[@smartthinkingsmartlife.874]

Alhamdulillah I struggled only for a year then Allah showed us a good path .now everything is easy. Even though I don't have parents in laws still sisters in laws took control 😐

[@aliyahoosein1874]

MashAllah i love that Smile🤲❤🤲...I can see the light of Islam shining on that face🤲...I'm 26 years am not married yet🤲...One day inshallah i will be a good daughter in law...I pray that Allah bless us with good husband's & In Law🤲❤🤲Beautiful Words Mufti Menk lots of love from🇬🇾

[@allanroopan1288]

thank you for the advice i have been struggling with is in my marriage may Allah bless you

[@noemanatteque5533]

That soothing voice. Mashallah

[@desizayqavlogs6395]

Assalamualaikum watching from India 🇮🇳

[@nassarmohamed8210]

Jazakallah khair kaseeran kaseerah for this most wanted video

[@fearlessali2852]

Daughter in law is not your daughter or Parent's slave.... ....WHY NOT TALK ABOUT SON IN LAW...TREAT YOUR SON'S WIFE LIKE SON IN LAW... FORMAL WAY!!

[@hibaahram8236]

Married couples can avoid all of that by living in another house. It's unfair for a woman to get married and live with the husband's family. She then has to bear too much stupidity from all his family members. And i don't think that's a good way of living a married life. A real man is the one who's able to afford a nice and cozy house for his wife. If he can't, I don't see the point of her getting married to him. She might as well stay with her own family unmarried and buy her peace of mind. Unless she's a very patient person then it's ok for her to choose such crazy and unhealthy married life.

[@tntt9313]

True

[@hoomanAdnan]

Thanks Mufti for sharing this important topic 👌🏼 ❤️ from Bangladesh 🇧🇩

[@Bint_Fadl_Ahmad]

Assalamu aleikum mufti, I have a small request if that's ok with you. There is a lot of content about marriage, spouse, in-laws, parents ect ect. But what I don't really see often is content about siblings. For example my brother does not do chores around the house when he can. And when we say something about it, he says to me that women belong in the kitchen and women have to do this and that. We both work and I above that have also school. A year back when the pandemic just started and we we both were home all day both having school and work. My mother was traveling and she couldnt come back for months. He didn't do anything and in the house and it was all me. This caused a lot of fights and arguments. And besides that he can be pretty toxic. So if it is not a lot to ask, if you could make a video about siblings and house chores. Because I personally haven't seen sonething like this. May Allah reward you for the da'wah you are doing and for providing the knowlegde thay we need.

[@humma3655]

Yes this is a problem in a lot of cultures. Boys are taught first their mothers/sisters will do everything for them, then their wife will, and then their daughters/daughter in laws. It is so frustrating and probably why marriages don’t last these days because girls are not putting up with the lack of effort from husbands part. Why stay married when life will be so much easier doing all the tasks you already do without looking after the man baby too? Sorry if anyone is offended by my blunt comment but unfortunately this is the reality of today.

[@Bint_Fadl_Ahmad]

@@humma3655 It's not a blunt comment at all. It's reality. I'm kinda worried about him and his future wife because if he had thay mentality he has now, I don't think the marriage will last long. Sometimes I say to my mom that she's spoiling him, and we are family so you can't really break that bond, but marriage can break.

[@humma3655]

@@Bint_Fadl_Ahmad I don’t know when men are going to realise that it is NO womans dream to clean, cook and wash allll day while husbands barely pays attention and carries on living life as he’s always done. I agree with you sister, I hope sheikh talks about this topic too. Until then stay strong, there’s plenty people out there who understand your situation 🤗

[@SA-mi4op]

@@Bint_Fadl_Ahmad I hope whoever his future wife, she should tell him what she expects from him before getting married to him. So some people sake of their love they do change so I hope your brother does to. In Sha Allah

[@HelloThere-kh3vo]

I swear to god i have the same issue, but the problem here is my dad agrees that it’s not only women but my mum doesnnt want him to do much because he studies uni. I get so annoyed and he’s not toung at all he can do chores but my mum simply doesn’t rely on him but me :( maybe if i have exams or school days (which is like only 4 days in the week)

[@syedasalem4592]

JazakAllahukhair Mufti Saheb

[@MaryamUniverse]

Can you please do a video about extremely toxic and abusive in laws( mother in law, sister in law, and father in law, also extended family members like his aunts)? What if the husband tries to stop the oppression but they don't listen, no matter how much he respectfully tells them? What can the bride do , especially if she is very quiet and sensitive? Is it not a religious right for the woman to live separately, especially if she is so oppressed and constantly stressed out, which makes her health significantly worse?

[@musherakhandaker8479]

She needs her own place.

[@asmaakhan7491]

I feel your pain 😭 I hope Allah makes it easy for us.

[@pdupetawalla]

In my case it's absolutely opposite.. My family are abusive, whereaas my fiancee tried to remove from the ditch, she too was attacked by my family..

[@TheAyaan97]

may allah grant you Jannah. Ameen

[@asfarameeralee5022]

SMALL DHIKR GREAT REWARD 1) اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ Allahuma inni as alukal jannah Meaning: Oh Allah, grant me Jannah Reward: say 3 times & Jannah itself will ask Allah to grant you Jannah (Al Tirmidhi 2572) 2) سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَبِحَمْدِهِ Subhaanallaahi wa bihamdihi Reward: And he who utters: `Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi (Allah is free from imperfection and His is the praise)’ one hundred times a day, his sins will be obliterated even if they are equal to the extent of the foam of the ocean.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. 3) بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لَا يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شَيْءٌ فِي الَْأرْضِ وَلَا فِي السَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ Bismillaahil-lathee laa yadhurru ma'as-mihi shay'un fil-'ardhi wa laa fis-samaa'i wa Huwas-Samee 'ul- 'Aleem Reward: Recite 3 times. Whoever recites it in the morning will not be afflicted by any calamity before evening & whoever recites it in the evening will not be overtaken by any calamity before morning. (Abu Dawud 4/323, At-Tirmizi 5/465, Ibn Majah 2/332, Ahmad) 4) حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لَآ إِلَهَ إِلَّا هُوَ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ Hasbiyallaahu laa 'ilaaha 'illaa Huwa 'alayhi tawakkaltu wa Huwa Rabbul-'Arshil-'Adheem Reward: Allah will grant whoever recites this 7 times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next. (Ibn As-Sunni (no. 71), Abu Dawud 4/321, Ibn As-Sunni. Quran 9:129) 5) اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لَّا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ، خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ، وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ، أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ، أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ، وَأَبُوءُ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِر لِي فَإِنَّهُ لَا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ Allaahumma Anta Rabbee laa ilaaha illaa Anta, khalaqtanee wa anaa 'abduka, wa anaa 'alaa 'ahdika wa wa'dika mas-tata'tu, a'oothu bika min sharri maa sana'tu, aboo'u laka bini'matika 'alayya, wa aboo'u bithanbee faghfir lee fa'innahu laa yaghfiruth-thunooba 'illaa Anta. Reward: Whoever recites this with conviction in the evening and dies during that night shall enter Paradise, and whoever recites it with conviction in the morning & dies during that day shall enter Paradise. (Al-Bukhari 7/150, An-Nasa'i, At-Tirmidhi) 6) Prophet (s.a.w.) said: whoever recties ayatul kursi after every obligatory prayer then nothing stands on his way to paradise except death. (Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 7406 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani) 7) أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ الَّذِي لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْْقَيُّومُ وَ أَتُوبُ إِلَيْهِ “Astaghfirullah al-’Azeem al-lazi la ilaha illa Huwal-Hayyul-Qayyum wa atubu ilaih ” I seek the forgiveness of Allah the Mighty, Whom there is none worthy of worship except Him, The Living, The Eternal, and I repent unto Him Reward: even if he has committed sins as much as the the foam of an ocean, still he will be forgiven. [Abu Dawud- 2:85/ Tirmidhi 5:569]

[@simplemotivation2760]

Dearest Mufti, I listen to your talks every morning and by Allah they benefit me so much. However, I had to comment on this topic. There's a massive inequality (particularly in some cultures) of the men in the house not doing chores etc because they think its below them. Now, often times the mother in law has different expectations of her son than she does of the daughter in law within the house and that's totally unfair. Surely, if both partners are working (and in many cases the wife is earning more than the man, or is more educated) why is it, that she is expected to come home and do the chores whereas the husband is not? There's no doubt that life changes after marriage, BUT it should change for both parties. The only thing a man gains is a woman by his bedside, whilst she is expected to make more changes than him? Why this inequality? She is the one expected to conform and what is he expected to do? These days men don't even earn a living, it's their father's who own the house or pay the bills! How can any woman take a man seriously, who is still living off his parents? At the end of the day, a woman is well capable of earning and having her independence without a man and his family ruling her life. So why should she allow them to? I'm really if this has come across as rude in any way. That certainly isnt my intention. However, these issues have been spoken about in the community for so long, and need to be addressed.

[@afs208]

exactly, I felt the same. Subhan Allah we have moral responsibilities but how is it that "cleaning" is the daughter-in-law's job and not the son's? Daughter-in-law are treated like maids in many houses and are expected to give up their personal lives for the sake of in-laws. it's really disturbing.

[@savageyt7447]

100 💯 correct but all mil should hv dis much knowledge so dat Dey can teach their boys manners nd responsibility nd finally after getting her son married d couples can leave wid happiness and peace

[@bey6598]

My biggest question is why does the daughter in law move in with the husbands family to begin with. If the parents are not in old age that they need help, the young couple should live at their own place but make time to help both couples parents. The only people you can truly have patience with are your own spouse and children, the rest gets on your nerves no matter what. Even Fatima bint rasul and Ali ra did not live with the prophet s.a.w, and what better house to live in then the prophets blessed house.

[@hanzalaomar3234]

The woman stays in her husband’s house. Why'd Fatima RA stay in the house of the Noble Prophet Pbuh?

[@heenafarheen7268]

Yes, I agree with you, if making a little adjustment makes your relationship good with your in-laws then it's perfectly fine. Sacrifices make a good relationship with your husband and in-laws. And lastly, have sabr in the name of Allah and wait and watch for the miracles.😊

[@TazneemCader]

I've always been a respectful daughter in law for over 20 years, I've helped and obeyed my in laws, cleaned the house, did washing for my in laws, encouraged my husband to respect his family and to keep family ties, helped my mother in law after she came from hospital, then my mother in law sent me a video stating that I must look for a second wife for my husband, and my mother in law likes to gossip and use vulgar language. Due to stress and verbal abuse I endured from her I'm on meds for depression for the rest of my life.

[@zainabmohammed9993]

May Allah bless you mufti

[@kiranisar]

Aslam u alikum. Please talk about son-in-law , his behavior towards his in-laws.

[@ibrahimhafsah5193]

Thanks alot

[@immansfamily9183]

Most needed topic. Masha Allah.

[@abinyturbo4x476]

Thank you Mufti Menk!!! So so important. This is the biggest biggest problem of our time. The daughters not fitting in. Very abusive towards the mother in law. Who mostly sacrificed everything so their son can live a happy life with his wife. I don't know how these brides will one day face Allah if they can't face their husband today and cooperate.

[@azharbssth2717]

Subhaan Allah..great topic

[@Shafie_chan]

Kindly make dua for my sister and for my brother to have a righteous child

[@TheMessage2022]

Assalamualeikum May Allah bless you

[@Ummuakram]

Assalam Aleikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh mufti menk , Jazakallahu Akhairan

[@shalizalacombe6330]

It's not a good thing to live with in- laws...I did it...endured dysfunction and much hardship...I would rather have been poor living with my husband than with in laws

[@HIlyas-qk1kp]

Inshaallah I'll....jazaak Allah for the reminder

[@sheejams]

Great thoughts to share and advice

[@ssengoobashaffic9593]

Thanks

[@lovelytrue4050]

Masha Allah...... funny title danger-in-law 😂😂

[@jaans6315]

Masha Allah!💖💖💖 Really you are a blessing for us from Almighty Allah (swt).May Allah (swt)bless you.

[@bilalbunayya2769]

Jazakallahu khair❤ this was really interesting

[@SamanthaRAli]

Dear Mufti, I understand your perspective on the problems with daughter in laws but as one myself Im sad to say that Im an aggressive one because off years of bad experiences with my in laws! I lost respect & hope because they started deal in black magic to get rid of me & hamper my marriage! Now Im out with my husband and they still can't stop because evil becomes them fully! But I still do love you my dear Mufti 🇹🇹🥰

[@MR.SPONGEBOB864]

hello I had a weird dream, so I wanted to share it. So I dreaming about me and my siblings taking a walk, then me and my sister looked up to the sky and saw the Ka'bah, but it wasn't black, it was the same color as the clouds, it was hard to see it because it was like camoflauge, then when I concentrated I finally saw the ka'bah, I took a picture of it, and when I looked down to see the picture I saw "Allah" instead of seeing the ka' bah in the picture, I saw the word "Allah. written in Arabic, instead ka'bah, it was weird, I could feel my tears, The word" Allah" was so big written in the picture, then my sisters got mad at me idk why

[@yahayaagbaje5587]

God bless you sir

[@DAbdullah7]

Assalamu alaikum, Excellent content in all your videos. I have a small request, please make a video on providing guidelines to Groom & Bride both before getting married. Do's & Don't Relationships Expectations Handling conflicts Miss understandings Sacrifices And roles of family members, mother in laws, sister in laws I know you have individual videos for many of such topics but a common video for a better preparation of both individuals before they get into a relationship.

[@treasirewealth4024]

I don't have mother or father...only my in laws as parents...so no issues there.

[@Haziqqahrazak]

Alhamdulillah..

[@sophiakatef1521]

Ameen ameen yarabbi shuquran ya muft menk wareikum salaam warahumatullah wabarakatuh

[@diysam9040]

Masha Allah the sheik has made some very good points. We all should try to adjust and try to get along. Best think is if something is bothering you is to communicate with one another. Allah bless everyone family ameen.

[@ayeshabanu542]

I wanted to hear this from you Mufti uncle.

[@SY-xw5gg]

Wa Aleyikum Assalam Wr Wb 🌸:) Jazaakumullahu khayran

[@abdiaziizaadan3327]

Wcs wll

[@rparwez6206]

JazakAllahu khair…

[@PinkSaira1]

The In-laws who give a crappy upbringing to their son. The son leaves matters of nikah procedure, mehar amount to his father. I have no respect for anyone in that family. Building a 3rd floor in the same house and calling that separating. NO. I curse these Punjabi people, especially the illiterate ones. Horrible experience.

[@anushreejain4705]

What a shame. Why can't you talk about toxic family members in the man's house or how the father-in-law or sister-in-law or brother-in-law or even the mother-in-law is toxic.

[@irmaejaz93]

Masha Allah It's a reality of our society you choose a most important topic on talk everyone should listen and learn and change our self it's good for our present and future it's good to see you when you making dua for everyone I said ameen ameen ameen 🤲😊 jazak Allah Khair 😊

[@Totajee79]

A refreshing lecture.

[@adnankhan0769]

Very important lesson and beautifully articulated. Ma Shaa Allah. Please advice when the wife is a working mother. Due to her office work she has to return at 7 PM daily. What is the right approach of balancing elderly parents expectation VS a healthy conjugal life? Thank you

[@saadia4210]

Unfortunately some sister in law's think they are being Islamic just by being good to their own family and being disrespectful to in law's and think they don't have to respect in law's and think that's ok in Islam. And hate their in law's .so jzk Allah for sharing this as we only hear about bad in law's there are bad sister in law's too and don't want their kids to meet in law's.and fill the children's heads with rubbish

[@utubebeena]

@aishah abdelnoor I'm sorry for your situation. But it is a fact, that there are some women who become Possessive of their husbands and do many evil along the way to distant from the family. I'm sorry, but I am speaking from experience. I can also list down many such stories.. There is 2 sides to a coin...

[@hanzalaomar3234]

@aishah abdelnoor Have you heard of a woman that actually has something nice to say about men and don't look for reasons put blames on men? Like seriously, the words of the Prophet pbuh, women being "ungrateful to good treatment" and "ungrateful to husbands" are so true, you see this everywhere. Look through the comments sections of every mufti menk video or any video, you won't find many women being "grateful" to men. Narrow minded people.

[@saadia4210]

@aishah abdelnoor there are bad in law's many too many. And some bad daughter in laws

[@hanzalaomar3234]

@Wajeeh Daouk Again, I ask you, how often do you see women being grateful towards their husbands? Go through thousands of comments under menks videos and show me a ratio. You literally can't have a woman and not expect her to be blaming a man for whatever's happening in their life. Go on then show a ratio of grateful to ungrateful women. You know who actually acknowledges men's love and sacrifices for women? *ALLAH SWT* The Noble Qur'an confirms that men are programmed with love (care, desire etc) for women. But if you go ask 100 women in the streets about their husbands, I can bet (halal version) that overwhelming majority of them will say negative disgusting things about their husbands.

[@hanzalaomar3234]

@Wajeeh Daouk Even you couldn't resist the temptation to shift the topic and put the focus back on men. Guess what read the hadith first, the hadith talks about women being majority in Jahannam and one of the key reasons for that is "ungrateful to good treatment" and "ungrateful to husbands". So, it's not like a few are like that but most of them are and it's so obvious. I will know my wife is ungrateful, when she behaves like one. I'm not a woman who thinks with my emotions and feelings, I can objectively observe things, verify and conclude.

[@heenakc3609]

Assalamu alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarkatahu

[@princebarket]

ماشاء اللہ. Very Nice Saying...