The PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND the narcissist’s pursuit of SOCIAL STATUS, MONEY, and POWER

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@youngblood8540]

Whoever tries to bring you down, is already below you.

[@tlove6932]

A Narcissist's insatiable NEED to FEEL "superior".©️

[@WisconsinWanderer]

Very well said 😊

[@M_SC]

Idk about that. Plenty of bad people need a call out

[@TataBox-w4c]

Your comment brings relief to my soul. Thank you.

[@MohamedTuuraaye-cl5oy]

That's trueeeeee.. Someone who's above you, or is superer to you will never pull you down... This reminds me of that healthy people, decent people and confident people don't ruin other people's lives...

[@shiny7301]

Social status, money and power is extremely important for a narcissist. They use them to cover and hide their ugly souls from other people...

[@michelleduncan9965]

WELL SAID & FULLY ACCURATE Shiny!!

[@zeddeka]

They don't use it to cover their ugly souls, no. They use them to try and fill the void that is underneath. It is basically a huge addiction. Like all addicts, they seek something to soothe the emptiness and social status, money and power are often their chosen drugs.

[@citigifts]

"Frequently, they are individuals who serve as church preachers and hold positions as CEOs.

[@cindylong624]

also attract and maintain future supply

[@shiny7301]

@@cindylong624 certainly 👍

[@youngblood8540]

Never beg, trust or depend on a narcissist.

[@northstar5919]

Dont beg anyone

[@beverlyadams7205]

You are so right.🎉

[@amarbyrd2520]

Wish someone had been around to say that to me when I was fifteen years old They didn't even have this research around when some of us were being first abused by our parents

[@IanM-id8or]

@@amarbyrd2520 Or by our siblings. Or our "friends". Such is life. Can't do anything about the past - unfortunately, my TARDIS isn't working. Also, it's too small ('cos it's a cookie jar) We know now, at least, so, going forward, we can avoid those people

[@cossackgirl_ZP]

And never ever accept help from them. It always comes with abusive strings attached

[@MARANATHA-AMEN]

Married 28 yrs. While abused, isolated, gaslighted, bullied, silenced. Slandered unmercifully..And more. Divorced now 22 years Awarded lifetime alimony. Robbed of the money legally due me. I'm 74 y o., disabled female. I relocated 1000 miles away to the Appalachian mountains. I live below the poverty line. I live alone. No transportation. No help from anywhere. The mountains are lovely...

[@beverlyadams7205]

I wish you a peaceful life. Finally realizing peace in my 75th year is practically indescribable.

[@KatKool-m5m]

I needed to hear this I get you

[@theninasweet]

Sorry to hear that! Hang in there.. he will face the consequences if what he did to you sooner or later

[@dynamic9560]

Sending love and hugs ❤❤❤

[@celine9953]

The same sending love 💕

[@ReviewsChannel-e4r]

All narcissists are a liability, especially chronic narcissists. They are their own worst enemies and very costly to others.

[@JustaNobody-j8x]

Narcissists find their value from how many likes they get and how many people view and comment on their lifestyles, the things they have, the people they know, and all their flexes. Their validation comes from fishing for likes from others rather than finding self-love and internal validation.

[@brandonhealy7158]

I couldn’t have said it better myself 💝

[@Portia620]

Yes!!! Who needs external validation? When you leave these realionships we find internal validation real fast if you wake up from the betrayal blindness !!!❤️🙏🥂. Thankful to god he’s married now. I’m single and living my best life

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Bingo we only need our own validation and that makes narcs envious and jealous of us

[@xXNoMoralzXx]

I am not throwing anyone under the bus. I just don't want to be around people that support the people who hurt me. I'm tired of the secrets lies and abuse.

[@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers]

No one falls in love quicker than a narcissist who needs a place to live.

[@madinahslaisemedia]

🤣🤣🤣

[@maryl9180]

That's how I got mine, ugh...

[@angelinaesposito3058]

Boy do I Get it!!!

[@lastthingsministry]

Ouch!

[@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers]

@@lastthingsministry Personal experience. 😉

[@dgvfsa66]

I reconnected with an old classmate briefly. Didn't take long to realize she was a social climbing narc. I asked if she wanted to go to Mexico. She replied, "No, they don't even have any 5 star hotels." I had a blast, without her.

[@sudhakhristmukti1930]

What a snob...that awful classmate!

[@Portia620]

What is a 5 star???

[@dgvfsa66]

@Portia620 It's the rating system for hotels. A 5 is the highest and extremely expensive. You are pampered, and your every wish is granted by the staff who you treat like trash (if you're a snooty narc).

[@TheCyberMantis]

Why would you want to go on a trip with a narc? If you know they are a narc, all you can do is go "no contact".

[@dgvfsa66]

@TheCyberMantis I had not seen her since high school (48 yrs ago). I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she just couldn't be a decent human being, so I went NC.

[@suzanne4396]

Just a week ago, we were somewhere and he mentioned that HE had a key to the office of this public place. I replied "Mmm" not showing any interest. So he started; " How many people do you know that have a key to this ??? Its cause im special, dont you know that by now?? " I shook my head, smirked and said " Ohhhhhh, yes!! You are definitely special!! " in a sarcastic tone while rolling my eyes .. the rest of the evening he brought up reasons Why he's Special..and received NO validation from me; just a nod or no validation from me. Narc Injury 😂😂😂

[@LeftEyeofRa]

LMFAO

[@runswithraptors]

Don't you think you are special too? Why be with someone if you are not going to build them up?

[@rubberbiscuit99]

I decided I would be better off living in a box, and I was right. You cannot assign a dollar value to your integrity, and to your peace. But do not let this make you forget how much more valuable these are than money.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Very much so they are and that's why narcs are envious of us because we have peace with little

[@violet_smiles51230]

Same here. I lost everything I mean everything when my narc discarded me 5 months ago. I left on a plane with only a few bags and moved 2,000 mi away to go stay at a friend's place. I even lost my job after leaving. I'm very slowly starting to get back on my feet And I will admit I'm still having trouble at times with letting go of the good memories or should I say the love bombs that happened at the beginning but I've realized that they never change and they never feel any empathy towards you no matter how much you suffer. The worst part though is that they play the victim and most people believe them when we are the ones who are the survivors of a narcissist abuse. My only hope these days is that karma will prevail eventually in the future.

[@Stretesky]

The problem is that the professional advice is to get away from narcissists or abusers, yet since they seek authority, dominance, power and control, they continue to be an authority, dominant, and controlling in all of our lives. There is no escape. People need to understand the secrets of our systems, how they work, and harm us all. Distance does not stop governments and other influential players. Giving people non or dead "solutions", enables narcs. That needs to be understood by everyone, especially in healthcare.

[@Sezfluffy]

is true, you'll leave one then find another...

[@Liane-qs6ml]

My story is so long nobody will believe if I said who he is. He's a monster

[@kford6643]

I’ve got a similar situation

[@alfordromney9080]

Plz tell😂

[@Liane-qs6ml]

@@kford6643 it's probably the same msn

[@VMorgenthaler-yp6yz]

And it starts very young. You can predict which young kids will become narcissists with one simple test: which parent do they favor? The one without power or the one with the power. A future narcissist will choose the one with the power..

[@Oysters176]

What if they favor their grandparents?

[@sbella6719]

You must not have kids. Young kids will choose the one that makes them feel most loved. Having power doesn't necessarily equate to love.

[@erinward2983]

My narcissistic parent was so cruel in his ways, using me and my sisters, his very own, to achieve and maintain his status and image after my mom divorced him. Through the years he damaged us and changed our perception of our mom. He stole what I consider to be a sacred and untouchable bond. He cares for no one but himself, proving that in increasingly abusive acts. At worst, they will take a life, literally.

[@bellaluce7088]

ADHD and time blindness can also be *REAL* and painful. Incorrect negative assumptions about me because of them led to lost jobs and dropping out of high school and two colleges despite A grades. As an invisible/scapegoat child of a narc mother, I didn't have the emotional resilience to deal with authority figures' anger about something I genuinely didn't know HOW to fix.

[@Portia620]

Yes anger at us for flaws is sooo damaging! We are human and not perfect! Another area I healed! I can’t be perfect like they want! Pleasing others is another!!

[@galaxyb1256]

If you have been in a narcissistic relationship, it is really hard to deal with these demons, especially when children are involved. And people outside the relationship can never understand. They have no clue what is going on within. But once you know these people, guess what?, they are the easiest people to deal with. So stupid that the only air they breathe is to crave attention and validation. Deprive them, they are dead!!

[@patrickbinford590]

Narcissistic one upmanship is due to the narcissist's insecurity, one posits!!

[@maevebutler4641]

It's videos like this that remind me of how very blessed I am to have divorced a grandiose malignant narcissist Those rantings of mega inflated future faking stories that were nothing more than hot air So glad to not be constantly fatigued & drained while I was in that awful toxic environment Brilliant blended videos Thank you Dr.Ramini

[@bobciesla6188]

Feel Ed cerwtvoaoyyzropwrrrrvxa😂 rvtwyiiw🎉yriebiny😅wr😂Walxahut

[@tiffanyanderson9437]

Wow. I picked some of my mother's narcissistic qualities while trying to make my way in this world. What an internal conflict! Painful to hear but I’m glad to finally name the push & pull I’ve lived with my entire life. Science defeats narcissism? Thank goodness!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Portia620]

Yes we can pick up traits living in toxicity sadly. Awareness is one key

[@kumble2687]

same here both parents and also a lot of family members and sadly alot of partners too, but i know now its a part of me that was unable to learn and develop healthy boundaries during these relationships, therapy and richard grannon, and dr ramani, helped out amazingly, stay safe and never stop believing in your intuition, and keep talking to the goodpeople and learn form them

[@lisabaughn]

You can do it! Love to you all here. I believe in you. ❤❤❤

[@tiffanyanderson9437]

@@lisabaughn thank you so much.

[@youngblood8540]

Never mind step on toes, narcissists will break toes and prostitute themselves to get to the top.

[@adlozi]

To the top of the shit pile :)

[@KaarinaKimdaly]

Unfortunately, you are not exaggerating. Isn't your example an illustration of sociopathy, psychopathy, pure egomaniacal deviance? Narcissism IS a SCOURGE on society, on sound values, as has been pointed out by our educators on narcissism, such as Dr. Rajmani, Dr. Les Carter, and in former years Dr. Todd Grande, et alia of their ilk.

[@Miguel_Gabriel_]

When narcissism is analyzed and explained in deeper levels by you, it is almost impossible for anyone to believe these people are all around us in this world now. You know, I often think that I am not very ok in my head. 😩 But then these videos assure me that I am not that lost.

[@ZoranStjepic]

Dr. Ramani. This really cuts to the bone. You have described the last three years of my marriage, before I was discarde by a narcissist. What's frightening is the fact that, in a run-up to the breakup, my ex spouse 'ditched'-in her own words - all of our mutual friends, the people who knew her well. Having seen this podcast, almost three years after being discarded, has stirred some, rather uncomfortable feelings.

[@rose12653]

My narc mother in law kept secret how much money my husband’s dad left for him when he died. He never saw paper work, was silenced by his mum not to speak to a solicitor she controlled jt all. She put a deposit down on a house with that money, but “gifted” it to my husband, but the house was in her name oh how kind 🙄), he paid mortgage on it for years and then rented it out. Fast forward to now she sold the house without him knowing, kept the money and spent it all on lavish things. And then bragged about it to him in a public place to show off. During the cost of living crisis… These people are pure evil

[@mapleleaf902]

This was great. I can see what is around me with narc family I married into. Now, I just leave the house during their "visits". I am glad we are not alone

[@andron967]

DR. Ramoni is really nailing it. The only weakness in psychology is the lack of description of the phychic phenomenon. But narcissism is caused by damage to the core self So that must be a core platform. It doesn't speak well for myself or society that the false images and manipulation is so successful. The important revelation for me is understanding that I was a participant in shared fantasy . My life is badly damaged.

[@Portia620]

Shared fantasy and we must take responsibly and heal and NoT reenter relationships until it’s figured out and healed! Once that occurs and we have dissected past too then we can heal!!! We sooo wanted the story to be real that we betrayed our self! Betrayal blindness is real!! Denial is not our friend!

[@AA-cw7ql]

My covert narcissist Mom likes to put me down over and over again! And then she denies it!

[@mday3821]

I remembered graduating from college and telling my parents that I just passed all my final exams (I was 40 yrs old) and now I have my BBA and my parents change the subject. Later, my mother stop talking to me and threw a my small stereo that I left behind; of course, I didn't know this at the time. She did one hell of a smear campaign on me. At the end, neither of my parents were happy that I was the first to graduate from college:(

[@KaarinaKimdaly]

@mday3821. I am so sorry your parents could not celebrate your attainment formal education-wise.

[@soniahathaway1]

Had same experience re getting my degree. Bizarre, jealous people with their silly smear campaigns. So Shallow. ❤

[@lt827]

My ex definitely fits into the failure to launch group. He blamed his suppliers for the problems in his business, which was never going to be profitable. Then he had an idea for a patent. It happened to be related to a subject I know a lot about. I said I couldn’t understand his idea and he got really angry. Eventually the patent lawyers thought his idea couldn’t be executed either. He thinks he is above working for someone else. I had to divorce him. I couldn’t carry him financially any longer.

[@PolinaB.G]

In fact, unbelievably every argument/attempt to discuss our problems with my narc husband ends up with him shouting that he wakes up early every morning and works 24/7 (not true, as he has plenty of free time to do whatever he pleases with his male and female colleagues, while I'm left at home with the kids and no money to go anywhere)... His "I'm making the money!" undiscussable statement is like his attempt to elevate himself to the state of a god, where everyone should bow down to him, feelings do not matter, relationships do not count, everything that serves the purpose is allowed Machiavelli evil style. The best solution to the absence of marital intimacy is "Only money will make you happy!"... certainly a projection of their own wicked heart

[@TheCyberMantis]

Career criminal politicians are the worst examples of this. Which is why everything is corrupt.

[@ratgirl13]

Best channel on narcissism-I thought my half sister was just crazy in her behavior now I understand she’s much more than the garden variety “crazy” wow! Thank you Dr. Ramani.❤

[@fallon7616]

I'm going through financial abuse by my husband and I am ill Thanks for educating me on the Narrcissict 💔

[@MARANATHA-AMEN]

Ditto. Married 28 yrs. While abused, bullied, silenced. Slandered unmercifully..And more. Divorced now 22 years Awarded lifetime alimony. Robbed of the money legally due me. I'm 74 y o., disabled female.

[@AlexLouiseWest]

I hope things improve for you. That’s a grim situation.

[@remypascal4872]

It is a typical way to handle the world, see the subjects, the things as a object to use... To get status fame and every compensative pleasure. They are bored inside so much because of the so called emptyness beside these game(masks), that it needs more compensation to fill emptiness It is the game and we have the opportunity to grow out of it... or go to the next of this orientation, spirit. Better never take a poser guy in such common ways, but many are "covert" pseudo humble, often as well parrots. There is much more fun in people with other orientations. Some people, women believe, that other ones are boring, because these ones are the mass entertainers and there are just the nerds as alternative(Like Ramani is an exapmle that it is not the case). Yes, they are mass, they have to mask how 'odrinary' empty they are and train a lot of skilling stuff to do so.

[@remypascal4872]

I'm not native EN speaker, so this is their acting spirit to a part: Entitlement is like to drive amused in a middle of a one streamed road. Delusional is to say, it is the ideal lane. Competetive devaluing is to blame the right lane drivers. „Do you think, you are something better!?“ 😉

[@aussieallstar66]

The male narcissist I know is an expert in his field so he gets kudos from that. He is very well paid so he can lead a lifestyle that pulls in hot chicks. In a social group he wants the most attractive woman in it to give him status. His girlfriends are models to match his very expensive car. He is like a Ken with his Barbies. A very empty life.

[@antoniovpi118]

I think of many examples of narcissist's big dreams and procrastination in my social circle. By the way, it is really cute the spontaneity of your kitten popping up along the video! So sweet! 😺

[@Portia620]

Wonder if others put them on is? I had people tell me to write a book and I started and was overwhelmed with being attacked stopped. Then told to do a podcast and I joke all the time. 😂🤦‍♀️ I’m feeling attacked. Lmao

[@princessconsuelabanana-ham8004]

THANK YOU DR. RAMANI, YOU MADE FEEL VALIDATED. I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR HARD WORK AND YOUR TEAM'S EFFORT MORE POWER TO ALL YOU GUYS. KEEP SAFE, HAPPY AND HEALTHY 🙏🤗

[@jillcummings8810]

When you ask them if they can do a job around the house like dishes or mopping you always need to, to some extent, do it over? Do they want you to criticize their work so they’ll say “ well, don’t ask me then”. Or is it that they are lazy and hurry through the work 🤔

[@karencox8699]

Thank you! Supplying constant validation to these people is completely exhausting! Recently I felt I was enabling my adult son in his pursuit of this problem and for so many reasons on my part! He will figure out how to make up my part as I back off! 😊❤

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Pride and Greed. Have Mercy..Stay in Peace and God Will Rescue you! 😊❤

[@Portia620]

A great metaphor for narcs….crabs in a bucket! They will keep you down and then they will want you to worship their status and then tell you how much of a piece of c. You are and that’s another way they operate too!

[@Jennifer-dw8hl]

My narc was perfectly happy to have a drug addicted veteran struggling with life, but a transgender daughter/veteran happy and blossoming threatened their status with their church.

[@IanM-id8or]

None of the narcissists I've encountered have been passive-aggressive. Their aggressiveness has always been quite active

[@angelinaesposito3058]

1000% The ones I knew were Violent when they were abusive

[@AnnePerkins-po5jo]

Their sense of entitlement is astonishing and shocking and seems limitless.

[@elbradavid533]

There's so much nusnce in all that she's saying.

[@rachelcampbell8541]

THIS IS IT😢❤

[@jensanchez3646]

I know a narcissist who is ALL about $. He told me a story someone had told him. About a man who coveted money his whole life. He got sick, and realized money meant nothing. It's people who matter. He told me this story, then told our mother we weren't his family. We weren't his family because we didn't have enough money, so he adopted another family with alot of $...He couldn't wrap his head around any meaning behind life beyond $, fame, and being "better" than other people.

[@vandanabhogaraju9673]

This is one of the best videos on Narcissm I have ever seen . You are brilliant Dr Ramani !!

[@Michael_Arguello]

There are people out there that will completely exploit the fears of a narcissist. Anyone who runs on a script can be manipulated with ease… Exposure = Absolute Fear made manifest. All we have to do is speak truth, and prepare for the psychological war that will ensue as our punishment for doing so. Those without fear of this, the end cost, are something for narcissists to truly fear. If you completely unmask one, they run and cover their face in shame saying “don’t look at me.” That’s how you know you’ve utterly destroyed them. Be careful you don’t become addicted to delivering them this consequence. There’s nothing like it. Exposure is their only hope of salvation, an absolute ego death. The exposure makes their enablers run for the hills, giving the narcissist over to their other fear - abandonment, which piles on the shame even more. When empathetic people rise up against these narcissist using their testimonies, oh how the mighty will fall. The ones truly in control are actually the ones with empathy. Once the empathetic ones accept that they have to be cruel to be kind, everything falls into place. This is the way.

[@moniquejackson7741]

Brilliant compilation. I used to resist these longer videos at first, but I have come to really appreciate the reminders; like the oxygen tank analogy. Thank you so much!

[@smurfmama2020]

My sister lives vicariously through her kids dreaming of making them rich and famous and full of status. Nauseates me

[@enochpage1333]

OMG, I haven't heard you for quite a while. I have healed a lot thanks to how my session with you got me started. But in this video you hit the nail on the head that brought down my relationship. She competed with me and with my friends. She wanted me to spend all my money on her and tried to give me hardly nothing in our divorce. She hated that I did not buy into her status values, and she used both strategies: rivalry and also self-promotion. These are values I learned long ago to see as hollow.

[@baileystruss7319]

Thats why we have so many self serving psychopaths in high places of business and government.

[@spartacusjonesmusic]

Wow. You certainly nailed it with this one. Another angle on this I hadn't fully understood. Thanks for posting.

[@DanielClinansmith]

To me they are cowards and totall lack of empathy 😢

[@biondna7984]

This so accurately describes my sons's dad (left him almost 18 years ago) and our younger son. Like his dad, he has one after another of fantastic, bombastic business ideas that're going to make tons of money, which "only" need several thousands of dollars -- or more -- investment on someone's (my) part. He drives a well-kept BMW. I drive an old Ford. I stopped subsidizing him years ago; now I have savings. I'm sorry for him and how badly he feels about himself, but he lives in a time where there's more and more info for anyone who wants to help him- or herself - to do so. He's on and off with counselors. Faintly, I hope someday he'll see what his father's path has brought him (homelessness, alienated family and friends) and decide to find another way. I have no further illusions it'll come from anything I say or do.

[@Portia620]

Wait … he drives a nice car without even having the business off the ground??? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Big red flag!!! 🚩. People sacrifice money and so much time to start a company and it takes years before our do the red into the black!!!!

[@Portia620]

It’s like pulling teeth as we try to save our kids. I’m in no position to do that anymore and must start working on myself but I keep trying to open their eyes!

[@biondna7984]

Tell me about it. @@Portia620

[@nicholastracy4915]

"The Lord resists the proud but gives grace to the humble".

[@sugarpuff2978]

My covert narc mother came from nothing but got money when my bully Dad and her started to get on well financially in life. When we moved to a nicer area when I was a teenager where the houses were a bit posher and more expensive she suddenly started announcing her identity on the phone by giving her name and the area she lived. She hasn't said her full name to identify herself on the phone for years.

[@nicholettej1742]

And?? What do you think this might mean?

[@cheryl325]

oh my God! It has taken me over 30 years to regrettable to learn this horrible life lesson.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Image is everything to a narc

[@Dj.D25]

I understand narcissists wanting validation often, but they normally don't have the talents to show it. What about normal people? Those who feel they need validation because they are gifted, have a talent, they are an expert on the subject but hardly anyone seems to pay them any attention, even though they clearly stand out? The skills getting noticed would/should help them have their dream job or at least becoming well known, which isn't really the intention of that person, but to share their talent so others can enjoy it. Yet so many talented people get passed up because much of the general public or people who like that certain thing too aren't really thinking of it? Or these people are just supposed to accept that life isn't fair? There's way too many narcissist people on social media getting attention for not contributing to society, who have no real talents.

[@rainydays8248]

The problem with modern society is that there are so set, objective measures to judge someone's competence. It shames the idea of meritocracy that tells people we are not inherently equal, but social and dominance hierarchies are inherently part of evolution, so in the place of a meritocratic system, we have a subjevtive system that measures people's values baded on value-based subjective measures such as their appearance, perceived morality, perceived status/wealth based on their education/association or affiliation with prestigious institutions. This kind of system is the perfect environment for narccissts who are often lacking in innate talent, competence, integrity, etc but are so very good at mimicking it which we why we see a rise in the epidemic of narccissm, virtue signalling, using lies, deceptive measures, and personal connections, or stealing other people's credit to get ahead instead of relying on one's own hard work. It is important to note that the superficial values of modern society, which are jealous of the elites/successful people and those that are born talented, capitalism, meritocracy, and buys into the victimhood stories that narccissts are so good at crafting, tribalism which narccissts use to pretend they are part of the marginalized and on your side are exactly what gives narccissts their power while taking the social status from those that are more deserving.

[@paulad.4578]

Oh my goodness, the friend thing. I had an experience once with a person I lived with, with whom I introduced many of my friends. Since I am an introvert, I didn't have a wide group of friends to bring over. Of the few I did, it became obvious after I did bring them over, that the person I lived with didn't like most of my friends. There was usually a tag line she would drop, letting me know if she approved of my friend(s). Usually, she didn't. I was aware enough to realize that this was her way of saying, "Don't bring this one over again." And, because my self esteem was pretty low at that time, I complied. Today, I would not. It got to the point where I thought, "Well, she doesn't seem to like my friends, but she doesn't criticize her own, so I'll just hang out with them because at least I won't hear her critcize them." Big mistake. Then I heard, "You're always hanging out with my friends. Why are you hanging out with them? I just want to spend time with them and not have you around." Long story short: Don't let someone determine your friendships with anyone. Stand by your friends, even if you have to go see them outside of your home. Nobody should determine who your friends are, except yourself.

[@paulad.4578]

It seems this response went to the wrong video. I started typing it out on today's video, then this video came on behind it and it posted here. 🙄🤨 Just letting people know why this response seems out of context.

[@AA-cw7ql]

You are the best Dr. Ramani. You are an expert!

[@makaylahollywood3677]

Coworker, 50-something female demanded i remove a fabric tag sewn to back of my pants. Turned to see a scowled face. Dumbfounded, said- "oh i just put them on". She snarled, "all you need are scissors". "Who does she think she is?" A week later, i still feel the sting of venom.

[@gracielaloera3031]

Dr Ramani, please present about cowardness and it's relationship to all the different behaviors of a narcissist.

[@Portia620]

This was another amazing video!

[@AA-cw7ql]

I do feel shame about not being as financally sucessful as my parents.

[@georgewolfe2963]

Hi Dr. Ramani. Your videos helped me deal with the narcissists in my life and I am extremely grateful. I was dismayed to hear that narcissists use ADHD in their manipulations. As someone who was finally treated for ADHD at 40, I just want to share that medication, not mindfulness, changed my life. For someone with a lifetime of having to work so hard just to stay afloat and then finding that a little pill makes life easy, your video contained so many triggers for me. I thought this video could be improved, and less triggering for people with ADHD, if you balanced it with more solid information about what ADHD actually is so that we can distinguish the real thing from the narcissistic version. I appreciate you

[@CinqCollines]

Dr. Ramani the olive green color looks soooo good on you. This is your color. ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@remypascal4872]

Thank you for this lecture. I find the most common direction to chose this way of seeing the world ... "Sorry/Haha, thats the world!" as they say often, when they get uncovered, uncover themselves. A bit less "just trauma situation" more tauma as a push to be more cruel in this way.

[@remypascal4872]

But it has to be seen out of a more systemic perspective. Nature is here madewhat just a cultural vibe at a part of historical society is. They are very foolish at culture psychological science. They see the world out of their NL and US trading extremistic society. Very biased interpretation of order in direction of status, value, money. It is not the compensation, it is not nature... value and money it do not exist in nature. Status is dependent on species and how dumb, unconscious it and a human thinks. Social experiments, tribes, reality in the normal world now show, how the theory is just a fetish idea, an ideology, a tautology. Authority, knowlege hierarchy is no proof, it s something else. When noone has an ideology of "honor" and first places, they live not like the narcissist. But as long it is daily school, it looks like nature. Most are into it. Especially in some society parts like US, traditional INDIA and such poser, status, value, money societies. But they are not the entire world, they are just invasive...

[@JourneyIntoAnimism]

The entitlement to things has got to be the most annoying aspect. Because they imagine they are geniuses and great at everything they think every job/role should automatically be theirs.

[@tarawhite4419]

It's sad how the people who do well in school do bad in life and the people who do bad in school do well in life just ironic

[@user-xu1sj9mr9h]

thats not always accurate ?

[@iu.5146]

So interesting. My Ex husband no longer travels for work and his wife works from home. It makes it hard for him to cheat. Maybe that’s why he suddenly displays an interest in our children. They give him supply and adore him after years of being neglected. Everything they do is transactional. Using your own kids to get supply is so nasty. I hope my kids see through it one day. For now I keep my mouth shut as they enjoy having a relationship with their Dad. It benefited them emotionally and academically. He only lashes out at me which means the kids are safe. Works for me.

[@markprothero2666]

Unfortunately many “rules” in our society inadvertently benefit those who already are powerful and wealthy, thus laying the foundation for others to rationalise breaking those rules, because often they’re not entirely wrong to do so. It genuinely is difficult to become successful without stepping in some people’s toes and breaking eggs, even if you initially had the best intentions. There was a show on Netflix called “Designated Survivor” which I thought illustrated this very well.

[@BobGray-n8n]

Thank you Dr ramani

[@Portia620]

So is this why a lower status person will use a person with money to rise up and they are narcs too? I see many non successful narcs too.

[@PrettyRad]

Before your videos, I had no idea what I was dealing with or what to do. I started seeing it everywhere, l didn't know what it was. A close friend took me overseas to abuse me. It was evil. When we returned she started a social media venture

[@sarahchan9850]

Dr. Ramani, you are describing my ex exactly 😂 and you did it so well!

[@LeftEyeofRa]

social status, money and power. a matrix pursuit

[@AA-cw7ql]

I feel like I have ADHD too. That's why I take my RX Vyvance.

[@Portia620]

I’ll never forget my husbands at the time left the restaurant and took our son home and my parents and I went there and he was screaming and to this day he blamed my mom not buckleimg our son in and looking back he left because it was his birthday and we had met frisks that lived on the island up north and my friend was there and my dad’s friend and it ticked him off. 😭. He rarely acted out physiclly and when he did would throw things or punch the wall. Mostly mental abuse but now wonder if he hurt our son. I trusted him and thought our son slide out of the stroller and fell on tile floor.

[@Portia620]

My ex is ex piece of hell. Thank God I seen it and found out he was super sick and fake.

[@KaarinaKimdaly]

Thank you, Dr. Durvasula, for posting this compilation. Your perspectives are unique and helpful, given your personal experiences both in your FOO and clinical experiences and teaching experiences. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I wish that when you post compilations of formerly posted videos, references to them, their original titles and dates would be included.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

They also hate when you are intelligent at your place of employment and very good at your job. On messed up work orders i have told higher ups fix it this way and they will always say no josh we will figure it out and the next day i come in and the work order will be fixed the exact way i told them to 🤣🤣

[@vickyaldridge6778]

This is so, so relevant. I wish I had known the 'Failure to Launch' situation and fallout decades earlier. Thank you.

[@ooshooshy895]

The enablers love saying that the narcissists kids are spoiled , like that's somehow an excuse to abuse them it's so sick

[@Bethenypixie1982]

Once my dad told me i wasnt acknowledged on his side of the family because i "wasnt important" and was MIA from my sisters graduation because he had to attend "a cliants wedding." Riiiight. My sister and i are happily grown up without the bastard and first class asshole in our lives. I hope that cliant was worth it and "important". Please. A narc never changes SMFH.

[@theyellowshoe]

Around the 10:00 mark; my narcissistic SIL kept waving her hand around, while I was talking. My husband noticed & said is that a new ring? She started gushing about while putting said hand in my direction. I'm like "oh how pretty" then continued with what I was talking about. The horror on her face! 🤣 Now if it was some new tech stuff, oh you have my full attention! I'm not interested in jewelry, but tech stuff, oh I'm all ears, eyes! 🤣

[@mariebarnes5714]

I believe my Prodigal Narcissistic Son got layed of his job! I imagine the money, status and power is is going to be departing! This is possibly a good thing! Maybe we will have to find healthier ways to exist! God Bless!

[@AugustusTiberius-tq1gw]

My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. My X is a hard worker, but she seems to come home complianing about staff, and taking things personal. I simply say to her that you can't control forces ourside your responsibility. Other times my X comes home happy and flaunting that her manager recognized her. I simply say, great you deserved it. Now you can relax. I realized that my X had insecurity and control issues. That not addressed. Her bubble will burst.

[@carli2472]

Absolutely great video 👏👏 "I'd rather live in a box" 👌👍

[@TallPoe]

I don’t trust the NHS anymore.

[@Levon_James5150]

Utrecht, Netherlands nice🔥♥🔥

[@AA-cw7ql]

My covert narcissist Mom says she has ADHD

[@vandellapoe9916]

Left a church where the pastor is a narcissist. The abuse he caused his wife. The flying monkeys who are still part of this congregation can't or just won't see the truth. All thinking that he is such a great person. Pretty sure he slanders my name because I was the one who outed him to his wife. Now she sees and understands what she has been dealing with all those years. It breaks my heart to see the pain and hurt she has been through and the aftermath of such devious personality. Thank God that her faith in Jesus is a strong one.

[@alrinaleroux9229]

Praise His Holy Name.

[@babyblue61549]

Oh my God now it’s dawning on me the times that my mother would call me like at five in the morning and say she’s having a heart attack and she’ll meet me at the hospital and then I gather all the other three sisters and tell them mom‘s having a heart attack and she’s rushing to the hospital and I’m gonna go over there right now and then once they finally checked her and she was so irritated because she wasn’t like the first one in line to get like all the attention once they hooked her up to all the machines, and they told her she could never smoke again, because if she’s having a heart attack and they were checking her out, but she didn’t like the way the nurses and everybody didn’t fallen over her. So she, too much of our shock she unhooked herself from all The machines left the hospital and as soon as she hit the front door right in front of all of us in front of the doctors lit up a cigarette and I was pissed and she turned to me and asked me to go get her and leave or something like that and I was ticked off and she said it’s so interesting to me that you’re the one who’s so angry at me when I get sick” wtaf?!!! I could tell you 1 million stories that people would think we’re lies, but this was my life as the oldest daughter of a very sick narcissistic mother

[@Andromeda_M31]

Probably how the convert narcs became the way they did... They can't seem to figure out the charisma part and were repeatedly rejected making them resentful.

[@williamkuhns2387]

One of the reasons for canceling facebook account. The hostile troll comments from complete strangers are over the top!

[@susannegoldmann6491]

They are passive aggressive

[@cheryl-annsporri3175]

I agree ,i would live in a shak than live with the narc. Life is what one makes it..

[@DonnieHall-k9b]

If you cannot help me then you are no help