The R-rated Oregon Trail

[@degenerate3288]

Random guy: Doctor I'm bleeding and I have frost bite Doctor: no worries, just eat some *CORN BREAD* and you'll be better

[@nochannelmusician769]

Doc, I’m so hung over. Here, pour some whiskey on that.

[@myself4337]

Doc, I have a brain tumor Doctor: here, just eat some 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗸

[@spacepawdity4973]

School nurse tingz

[@moxiegirl376]

Me: Doc im so drunk... Doc: here, some whiskey and bacon should cure you right up!

[@clowntrooper61]

@@nochannelmusician769 Thanks doc. Now I can get drunk again to avoid the hangover

[@retiredtidepodeater3339]

Prescribing cornbread, bacon & whiskey for ones ailment? I don't see the problem here.

[@aero662]

who needs modern medicine when you have bacon and whiskey

[@Bistinglolwut]

+Mika Webb-Contreras ikr

[@TheDudeMaaaan]

+Cameron j Your comment is the American mindset in a nutshell.

[@TheDudeMaaaan]

+Cameron j Your comment is the American mindset in a nutshell.

[@retiredtidepodeater3339]

Tigerous I'm pretty sure I didn't forget that one, but OK 😐

[@nemraps]

When it said "Bones and corpses, everywhere!" I spit up my drink

[@zaxonite2991]

Why

[@nemraps]

zac yurkanin it sounded funny

[@GamerX2.]

+NemRaps Why it sounded funny?

[@GamerX2.]

Sorry just felt like trolling =P

[@AydenHub]

NemRaps I'm a big fan!

[@EliBlackWaves]

The past was fucking horrible.

[@sereysothe.a]

+Eli Brown the past was great but in different ways. i doubt someone like you would be able to survive very long though

[@NealX]

+Eli Brown But nobody tell the Republicans that, it's funnier this way.

[@MrEwanRoy]

+namn And I doubt someone from the far past would manage to stay sane for very long here.

[@13MissChez]

the present is fucking horrible

[@hdofu]

And the future will be too

[@JeremyChung]

I thought the prostitution thing would be called an 'Oregasm' ... Ba dum tishhhhh

[@ezramotz8218]

good one but was the last line supposed to be like the drum thing that they do on late night talk shows after the host makes a cheesy joke lol

[@jero3295]

It's called a rim shot

[@flopimus]

Heyooooooooooooo!

[@lkluke1csgomontagechannel506]

lol

[@3p1cand3rs0n]

I see what you did there 😂

[@drdwkelley]

They need to remake this game.

[@kattenelvis1778]

+Liam O'Quin Source?

[@Lovverboi]

There's an iPhone version remake

[@ragepimp123]

play dwarf fortress.

[@kattenelvis1778]

***** Fuck of

[@kattenelvis1778]

***** You've got a desiese! Pay 20$ to get cured instantly or wait 20 Hours. Buy food 5$ per kilogram. You have reached a river [Share on Facebook] [Share on Twitter] [Share on Snapchat] [Uppload to instagram] [Uppload to KZbin] [Share on Bing] [Share on MSN] [Send to Email] [Uppload to Google plus]. Uh oh, you ran out of Ammo and Energy! Pay 5$ for Ammo or wait 7 Days

[@eritain]

One of my forebears kept a journal while traveling west on the Mormon trail (which ran parallel to the Oregon trail on the other side of the river). He listed their inventory when they set out, ending with a bottle of whiskey for medicinal purposes. And then he wrote, deadpan, "The first week we were sick a lot."

[@falcore91]

Nathan Rasmussen out of curiosity did the rest of the journal reveal him to be a brilliant comedian, or was that more of a one off thing?

[@Ravensfriend]

It sounds very interesting. You should publish it.

[@trevorpate121]

Nathan Rasmussen, my sister & I played the CD-ROM version growing up(we were 90s kids). 1 session 1 of her party members kept getting sick & she wrote in the journal "it's about friggin' time." Did your ancestor write something similar? I'm just curious.

[@Kangaru13]

“Doctor my arm fell off” Have some bacon “What the shi-“

[@clowntrooper61]

Hahahhah

[@VSO_Gun_Channel]

I used to rush through my typing lessons to be able to play this game with the remainder of the period. Loved this video

[@DoctorBungo]

Red Dead Redemption 2 looks great

[@redblanc775]

Red Dead Redemption 2: Horse ***** shrink in cold weather

[@billioninjoetheninja]

It is

[@F1restorm66]

Doesn’t it?

[@kyndread71]

The actual Oregon Trail was preserved as a national landmark by my great-great uncle, Ezra Meeker. He drove his ox pulled wagon down New York's 5th Avenue, and also on the White House lawn. He personally met President Theodore Roosevelt and Calvin Coolidge. He was also the first mayor of Puyallup, Washington.

[@samkramer7406]

Oh wow you weren’t kidding! I’m from Kent Washington, so I had to look that up to confirm.

[@jxgi9130]

Wow, saw the name at the end of the game in the high score screen as well. Probably a tribute to him🙌

[@stephenparallox]

Original Oregon Trail: "You have died of dysentery" R-Rated Oregon Trail: "You have died of gonorrhea"

[@GreatMewtwo]

Also R-Rated Oregon Trail: "You shot 952 pounds of meat, but you were wounded by a gunshot."

[@AEMoreira81]

@@GreatMewtwo- AYYOOOOOOOO!

[@pleasedont4927]

_t h e p a r t i e s were w i l d_

[@pray7056]

hell yeah man

[@randrickangelicasean]

these fucking non skippable are getting longer and longer

[@randrickangelicasean]

+Aidan Clarke. yea

[@philipwilson1897]

+uest super search adblock.

[@Simi_gp]

Google wants us to subscribe to KZbin Red . But don't do it!!! We are the resistance!!!!!

[@izslat]

+isrrael kumiko get the free 13 day trial

[@izslat]

+isrrael kumiko all you have to do is install KZbin red

[@raymondweinberg9450]

"Doctors prescribed stuff like cornbread, bacon and whiskey." And they stopped why?

[@thehorseformerlywithoutana2522]

constipation, heart disease, and alcoholism

[@Post_Stall_Maneuver]

IF WE STILL HAD PRESCRIPTION BACON, I WOULD OVERDOSE

[@kennethtimorang8343]

RIP @@Post_Stall_Maneuver Cause of Death Bacon Overdose c. 750,000,000 BC-2020

[@JR-zi9vj]

@@thehorseformerlywithoutana2522 Big pharma wants u to believe this...

[@somethingclever4563]

How is this not a thing? -John Oliver

[@vector6977]

Bacon, Corn bread and whisky! sounds like a great dinner.

[@XavierZara]

Yum

[@palebluedot7435]

whisky and opium sounds like an even better one. or just whisky

[@hdofu]

or one hell of something to put with ice cream

[@vacuousbard6410]

Fatty bacon rough cornbread and dangerous illegal whiskey

[@agiar2000]

I would totally pre-order this M-rated game: *"Oregon Trail 2: Hell on Wheels"*

[@rock3tcatU233]

So basically it's just like Oregon today, minus the opium pills.

[@addtracer3973]

+Egg Saladsoda He means without.

[@dothedeed]

+Add Tracer And he means that Oregon today still has drugs

[@addtracer3973]

Oh. AND MYSTERY

[@DangerousPOSSE]

LOL

[@stephen_jc]

I have an essay due in 4 minutes but I'm stuck in a black hole of watching vox videos. I only have 3 sentences so far

[@goytube1848]

I wonder what happened?..

[@missmelodies52]

I relate to you very strongly, my friend.

[@chrismcginnis6321]

Stephen Caputo did you make it?

[@kingthlayerl.7349]

I know this is 1 year old but just wanted to say I feel ya I swear I'm gonna fail tomorrow

[@clowntrooper61]

Did you fail?

[@IntentChief]

You mean M rated

[@danny-qj3pz]

i was looking for this comment. it bugged me that they put R also lol

[@virusj216]

yea I believe M is for games and R is for movies?

[@Gamera_the_Inconceivable]

Jerry Zou actually there are dead kids so adults only would be more accurate

[@RegiRuler]

Thank the lord

[@foodwithsoy]

This was my childhood. I want to go play it again.

[@syllvia1]

+MadewithSoyy Try organ trail, it's on steam

[@phoenixdavida8987]

Soy Nguyen me too

[@sherylong4287]

Am I the only one who found this kind of amusing?

[@RiC_David]

Yes, you are the only one who found this amusing video kind of amusing, Sheryl.

[@VagineerHuur]

Yes, you are the only one who found this amusing. The video was definitely made to be extremely boring and unfun to watch. You are a freak of nature and I hope you never come out of your hole.

[@RiC_David]

Much love Green for being compelled to respond to these seemingly obligatory "Am I the only one who [something that makes zero sense following that preface]" with biting sarcasm. I swear it seems like every video has one of these comments near the top! Rarely do I ever see "Am I the only one who didn't find this at all amusing" or something that would actually make sense. Also, it's cousin "Is it just me or..." is pretty dumb but not so often abused.

[@splatrick6931]

0:45 Embarrassed at how much I laughed at the poor lil dude gettin’ run over by the wagon, w the polyphonic sound effects. Perfect 😂😅

[@SigEpBlue]

To be fair...whiskey and opium probably works great. For the pain, I mean. ;)

[@voidvector]

We still use it today. Ever heard of opioid? Yea, that was originally derived from opium, hence the same word stem. Only difference is we can synthesize more pure versions in the lab now. Ye science.

[@bryaneaton9158]

@Leon Yu that's common knowledge, I'm sure he already knew that mate.

[@ricardoespinoza6706]

Nice sound effects. Looks like someone was inspired by the "History of Japan" video...

[@Moucheron1990]

There is a resemblance. Good ear.

[@zackbutler2752]

This isn't even close to the diversity of sounds in the Japan video.

[@spk1121]

And they all died in a tornado! Err, umm... typhoon...

[@JoeyCannoli]

*THE SUN IS A DEADLY LASER!!!*

[@sadcatcowboy7207]

Is it Tonga time?

[@Lightacre.]

Doctors prescribed BACON??? SIGN ME UP!

[@LividImp]

Color graphics??? What sort of witchcraft is this? It's green monochrome for the real pioneers.

[@TheSweetestCurse]

green monochrome for computers old enough to actually be used on the Oregon trail...

[@LividImp]

+Glade Swope That's the exact same method I use to render graphics. I've got a guy from the bank stuffed into an extra server case I had lying around.

[@MeetThaNewDealer]

Watching this video made me appreciate the fact that I live in the 21 century America.

[@Hunkerbunker346]

2:28 dog goes into soup sound of 8bit explosion, makes me laugh every time.

[@satrapinzagreb]

1:28 "Independece Em-oh" MO is Missouri for anyone who lives outside of flyover country

[@happyfacefries]

No duh

[@AydenHub]

Kilroy was here

[@brockhallmark9057]

AydenHubbell Productions lol

[@mortarpestle.4267]

Beagle was here, too.

[@bjgeantil]

i was here aswell

[@redblanc775]

The deadest meme in the world

[@DaL33T5]

Teachers: if you want to get kids to pay attention in history class, tell them about this kind of stuff. You'll never fail a student again.

[@pokesportxyz5191]

Back in my day, we got bacon for medicine

[@LimeyLassen]

Love the pixel animation in this. Especially the kid getting his head stuck.

[@horseenthusiast1250]

One of my old relatives, Eli Bagley, almost starved to death on the Oregon trail, but when he survived and made it to Eureka, California, he opened the county-famous ice cream shop “Bon Benniere,” which closed when I was ten, ending one of the few cool things any of my relatives had done.

[@brax0789]

I appreciate the work and research put into this video, good stuff

[@CandyflossCottonCandy]

Random Fact Guy is here A wheelchair designed for people in rural areas uses two levers that can increase power or increase speed depending on where they are grabbed. Goodbye

[@Orion12113]

“The transcontinental railroad was finished” *proceeds to show animation of a German tank engine*

[@MastarCheef1337]

All in all life not too long ago was pretty shit. I'm glad to be alive now.

[@caseygreen7210]

fuck yeah! what a time to be alive(:

[@softrockification]

+Casey Green Born to late to explore the world. Born to soon to explore the universe. Born just in time to browse dank memes.

[@walamo4796]

People will probably look back on us in 150 years and say the same thing

[@glitchsoup2913]

*arm falls off* "aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!" "eeeh, pour some whiskey on it."

[@indecisive_v]

Earlier today, two of my friends were playing Oregon Trail in their free time and entered each others' names as well as mine... I got lost and got a fever in one friend's game, and drowned in the other. :')

[@RaceTheAce-ef9sg]

*what happens on the trail, stays on the trail*

[@tannerboyle6540]

I've been playing organ trail lately. It's just oregon trail but with zombies and it's really good.

[@dorrolorro]

You should see the Starkid musical Trail to Oregon!

[@davebirney]

wow! the hot-boiling-water-on-the-penis challenge kinda of makes our ice bucket or cinnamon or [insert-latest] challenge look like a joke

[@annietrinity1833]

The only thing standing in the way of thousands of teen/YA-shaped evolutionary misfires trying that is Vox's extreme lack of appeal to the aforementioned demographic.

[@austin7843]

This is really well made. I remember playing this a few years ago on the internet archives. My mom played it on the first computer in her school ever.

[@terrasai2857]

I remember playing the floppy disk Oregon Trail in elementary school. I’m 21 now.

[@trevorpate121]

My sister & I played this game growing up(the CD-ROM version). We were 90s kids. There was this 1 session where sis was playing the game. There was this 1 person in the party who kept getting sick, finally the character died. She put in the journal "It's about freakin' time." I can't help but wonder if some1 from the 1800s wrote that while on the trail.

[@matheius4668]

"you win some you loose some" A moment of silence for our fallen brethren.

[@afrikasmith1049]

I just realized that the Oregon Trail was a child friendly version Red Dead Revolver.

[@bicyclethief]

this was a nostalgic and pedagogical masterpiece

[@suzynancarrow1286]

I just so happen to have such a dark sense of humor that I laughed at the whole thing

[@niydfass1060]

Stop hitting the keyboard it doesn't appreciate the abuse.

[@justinreyez5561]

they let us play this in school the PG version thou...

[@leapingwolf7680]

*thump thump* pfft there goes your son jerry lol

[@happyfacefries]

I imagined the thump thump as the sound from Law & Order

[@Moucheron1990]

We only had bright green colored characters on a black screen when I was in grade school. That color version looks a lot better.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Is is an advertisement for a kickstarter game?

[@JarrettWilliams99]

what if the oregon trail was made for pirates? this is the arrrgon trail

[@DANtheMANofSIPA]

Leave

[@thepariah3516]

*Applause*

[@johngibbs524]

Stop

[@jemster38]

I was expecting a playthrough. Son, I am disappoint.

[@sandlertato]

Nice to meet you, Disappoint

[@lampoilropebombs0640]

Researched Oregon trail for extra credit in middle school. Saw this. Got detention for telling the truth.

[@threadbearr8866]

Maggots are actually an excellent antiseptic.

[@SeattleGaming]

i have austio perosis

[@thepariah3516]

I have become tired of this joke.

[@threadbearr8866]

It's no joke. NPR did a story on it. Look it up.

[@doujinflip]

Only if they're hatched and raised in a sterile environment prior to emplacement. Otherwise they're as bad as the poop-eating flies they came from. (They were born on poop)

[@threadbearr8866]

You're right I should've mentioned that. Hopefully no one read my comment and peeled some off rotting meat to treat an infection. 0_0

[@Rakshasa1986]

Gambling? Booze? Prostitutes? I know a certain bending unit who would love the Oregan trail.

[@ithoroughlyenjoymockingdon4373]

I'm doing this for my GCSE History course and I learnt more from this video than in class.

[@CPT85]

Well after playing Red Dead Redemption 2, I didn’t find this TOO depressing...

[@IMatchoNation]

Now I know where Ron Swanson got his health education. Thanks +Vox.

[@Otokichi786]

"Hell on Wheels" was a 2011 AMC TV miniseries about the building of the transcontinental railroad. Fraud, graft, Mormons, Indians, and the "soiled doves" supplied the many twists and turns in the tale before it all ended at Promontory Point, Utah in 2016.;)

[@baclamom]

I live in Independence, Mo. Every year we have SantaCaligon Days.

[@Jammermaker]

Hell on Wheels is an excellent show too.

[@tpmiranda]

Funny to see Vox used a German 2-8-4T Steam Locomotive in an American related article, when the 4-4-0 American Steam Locomotives are used EVERYWHERE

[@cormorantcolors]

R-rated Oregon Trail Is this Trail to Oregon?

[@allyj6259]

RavenclawIngenious I think it's pronounced oregap

[@RunningMadeSuperEasy]

When you talked about prescribing bacon, I was reminded of that old Rhett and Link "rub some bacon on it" song.

[@MatthiasLee1]

Doctor, my 1 year old got a really big cut "Have him take a bath in whiskey"

[@ratsarecool3118]

"Whatever happens on the trail stays on the trail" my favorite quote of all time

[@danielbyrne9007]

cowboy: horseshoe throw and chill? girl: * screams followed by multiple gunshots * * blood on tent * * wolves heard nearby * * cowboy now screaming while bleeding out * girl: what have i done?! * gets killed *

[@digi_056]

I have the Deluxe version of Oregon Trail, I'm glad they don't mention these things in it.

[@jaydox3836]

My elementary school teacher had us play this in the computer lab almost 15 years ago. Such an amusing game.

[@RockstarEddie-rk1rm]

0:14 So that’s what happened to Dorcas...

[@mparker123]

**Your entire Party died from dysentery**

[@rexevans100]

Oregon trail........ or how I remember it, "You have dysentery" Stimulator

[@guernica69]

The Oregon Trail today would lead straight to a cannabis shop. Congratulations!

[@Harley411]

This is the first time vox reviewed a game

[@PaulTheSkeptic]

The way I heard it, puppy dog was traditionally served with it's little paws sticking out of the bowl.

[@TheFoodieCutie]

Damn people back then had it real rough. I guess that's why you'd be a senator or a governor by the age of 30 cause you didn't have much time left!

[@darksideofthemoon488]

An Oregon Trail for adults? They already have that. It's called Red Dead Redemption.

[@Nebelwerfer210cm]

Using maggots on gangrenous wounds is somewhat effective, as the maggots will only eat the dead tissue, and leave the living tissue alone.

[@PhoenixAngel429]

My ancestors came over in 1868 and a wild kid drown in a river because he was a brat on the way to Utah....

[@derekwall200]

okay i am blown away, i used to play this when i was in 5th grade and i was just 11, now im almost 30. and why i am blown away is that i didn't know an R rated version of this existed

[@1805movie]

I hated playing _Oregon Trail_ .

[@tlew1588]

Ryan Hartwell COOL STORY BRO

[@ILikeMyPrivacytbt]

I loved oregon trail

[@jacobkeyser8628]

Interesting that no one ever talks about my ancestor, the Mormon pioneers who forged most of the trail.

[@weirdspongeguy]

You had the chance to call it the R-egon trail and you missed it

[@Elliandr]

Something I noticed was that Churches seemed to appear in towns proportional to the appearance of Bars and Brothels. Like, the people wanted to party, but felt guilty about it so the wilder a town was the more religious it became. I still see examples of that today, in old railroad towns that no longer have the rails, but still have the same number of bars and churches. Personally, I think they should have just left it all to the natives. I mean, expansionist greed is nothing to die over.

[@thomasplouffe1363]

finding a babies skeleton in a tree sounds horrifying to find

[@TheNinjabear]

this is the best vox ever

[@Jabberdau]

"People prescribed whiskey and opium for almost every ailment". Not that different from today really, just replace with antibiotics and prozac.

[@daisyredding2413]

Antibiotics are a whole lot different from a bottle of whiskey. Stay in school, kids

[@11magic1man11]

The amount of retardation in your comment killed like 10 of my brain cells.

[@voidvector]

You didn't mention opioid, which is literally derived from opium.

[@jantyturtle8609]

As soon as it said people had dumb accidents, an error occurred and i laughed for 5 minutes

[@crownhonest1951]

Godammit Vox stop making interesting videos I'm trying to do an essay

[@Bauks]

I'd just like to thank those Bankers and Farmers that couldn't travel so we'll. It seems to have ended up ok.

[@Borderose]

I don't know...I'm kinda bought on the medical merits of bacon. It's like panacea for the soul.

[@FolkLaure]

They all sound so depressing...can't go back