THE REAL COST OF HAVING KIDS AFTER 35!!😲☕

[@Gypsywandering400]

I had a kid at 35. Was seriously perimenopausal when he was pubescent. We talked about it, empathised with each other, and accepted the other’s crazy. It turned out just fine. Relatively few arguments. Phew! I did think, though, that it might have been better to do it a decade earlier and had more energy, but then I would have had less wisdom. Swings and roundabouts. But it’s physically exhausting when you’re older with a kamikaze toddler

[@harriettubman337]

Glad I was 35 when I had my daughter. Patience, life experience, and love for myself was already established and planning efforts were already learned. My child is flourishing bc of this and all the people I know who had them young....always drug their children along for their growing pains and their childish games, they are young adults now resent their parents bc they were kids raising kids!

[@callalilly1988]

I’m going to be an older mom. Not by choice, I haven’t found a good potential father 😢. The chance I’ll be an older mother inspires me to keep myself very healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially.

[@hayleyg7719]

I had my children in my teens, I wish I'd waited till I was a grown woman ❤ I have no wisdom to teach my kids I'm still learning myself 😢

[@docbainl9504]

​@hayleyg7719 sister. The fact that you're admitting you have no wisdom means you're already wise then you know. The step towards humility is understanding us as people in general aren't shit. You sound like an awesome mum. You sound like you're growing and maturing as a beautiful mother. I'm a woman who has been no contact with my mother because she decided to take my abusers side and not believe me. Trust me huni the fact you care about leaving a legacy means you're nothing like her. Much love from one sister to another ❤.

[@briannadickson2884]

Get a donor. Can chose intelligence!

[@sg5720]

Or just don’t have a child. Not fair that the child has no present father. Either take a man as is or stay single. Sorry but that is truth. Finding that unicorn of a man don’t exist. You can only find a better man not THE man. Good luck 😌

[@hayleyg7719]

​@docbainl9504 thank you for your kind words and prayers for your past sorrows. Love to you ❤️

[@backtobasics1213]

Worry more about having financial stabilty and a supportive baby dad. That is more important than the age.

[@EmilyKresl]

Actually you're still fertile up until menopause which can range anywhere from 40-60 years old but doctors are the first to tell you everyone is different but statistically speaking women over 35 are higher risk pregnancies. My mom had my sister when she was 39 and she was fine and even got her tubes tied.

[@MrBitchezzzz]

Pregnancy over 40 made me so happy

[@JukuduB]

Good for you dear.

[@sg5720]

Whoa - glad I did it in my twenties. Now in my 40s they are teens and hubby and I having a blast with them. Life is bless😊💕

[@MrBitchezzzz]

@@sg5720 as you should queen

[@wandak1889]

I’m glad that I made the decision not to get involved in Motherhood at all. It was best for me and my lifestyle. I feel bad when I hear friends tell me the could’ve, should’ve and would’ve at age 43 plus.

[@sg5720]

@@wandak1889 thank you for knowing motherhood if NOT for you. I can tell you are a smart logical woman. Unfortunately so many older women have kids later on in life cause they did not find Prince Charming and then the child does not have a father fully present in their lives or parents unable to keep up. I refuse that o have children unless I had a supportive husband and father in my life. Found a man who wanted just that. To be a husband and father and have a happy healthy successful family. My cousin waited until 39 to get married and have a baby. Her man left her within a year of marriage and now she a single mom. He was a useless man to begin with she knew but wanted the d to be a mother so bad. Now she angry at the world cause it is hard. She will be 45 soon and her son only 5 years old. She complains all the time. So when I hear woman stand firm and say “it is not for me” I smile cause they are not making stupid decisions to please others. Being a mother is alot of work and never meant for the mother to raise her child alone. I will keep saying it. If you don’t have a support system and OR good husband by your side DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. If you don’t want to have children cause you know you more than anyone else- stick with that. Mad respect to you mam. I wish more woman were honest with themselves like you. Stay blessed. 🙂

[@hasnaebeuker2085]

😂😂 I am in the middle of all of the things you just mentioned. Had my kid at 40. But still will not have it any other way😊. I am not dreaming of finding myself as many young moms do, or wishing i need to travel. Did everything I dreamed of before becoming a mom. Becoming a mom was the topping on the cake🎉

[@TheGuniverse2k]

That sounds great fr 🎉🎉🎉

[@mama-nono3652]

If I was queen of the world no one would be allowed to have kids until 30. I mean that. You do not know who the hell you are in your 20's. You're just winging it. It is amazing that most of us make it through our twenties without more mess than we do.

[@ToniOne03]

L

[@kittycat8222]

This is why women should never rule.

[@sg5720]

@@mama-nono3652 got married at 23 and had my first child at 24. It is WHO you choose to have a life with that matters, not WHEN. Those who know know. 😊

[@itzyogurlEleanor]

34,46, i am blessed no major issues. Both time was working out and whole food diet

[@JukuduB]

I am someone who's had to take care of a disabled parent since I was 23. I will be 46 in a few months. A few years ago I thought I could have a geriatric pregnancy. I was engaged and my fiance had only one child. Some things happen in our relationship, and I knew that he would not be able to take care of me and a child. We have separated and it's for the best. I'm glad I didn't try to have a child at this point in my life. I gave all the child rearing years to my mother (by the way who did not raise me and was abusive when she was around) and I just don't have anything left. Surrogates have been mentioned to me and adoption of an older child has been mentioned to me. Those are all lovely and good and I did want to have two children and adopt one. However so much has happened and I refuse to raise a child without help in the house so no kids for me!!!!🎉

[@christianbond5269]

I take care of my mom since I was 22. I’m 27 now. Do you regret it?

[@jahvonnad1738]

People can do what they want to do when they want if they choose to do it at all. Physically giving birth is not the only way to be a mom as well.

[@Lynn-r7x]

Oh at 42 I dont want kids period. That solves all the worries about this

[@KiyoAloto]

Begs the question

[@sunflowerkisses4336]

31, 35 and 40 years old when I had my 3 children. They keep me active, I learn so much from them. Motherhood is challenging and worrisome but its so fulfilling for me to be a mom at this age. I honestly couldn't imagine having them at an earlier age.

[@CaptivatingCouture]

I totally agree with the lady at 8:48. The patience as an older mom is astounding! I sing to my daughter and do so many peaceful activities with her. I had my child and got married at 35! Zero regrets with becoming a Mom when I did. I lived a very fun, vibrant, robust life before her, and I continued to live a very happy one after her. I think it's okay if someone doesn't want children. But it's also okay if you're just as happier having children in your 30s. I tell all young women....you dont work on society's time frame. If you want kids, plan them, and make sure they are with a partner who has the emotional maturity, financial responsibility, and motivation to care for them. But definitely wait until your 30s.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

I'm soooo happy it had her at 35. I have the happiest healthiest emotionally secure daughter ❤ because I have patience. Life experience. Resources. A developed mind. I can pass all of that onto her. And it shows. We are both happy.

[@alexcaplan9271]

Im 30, I haven't met anyone to date much less mary. The thought of giving birth makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. All the people I knew had kids at 15-20 or at 25-30 and all they do is complain about their kids. At this point im thinking adoption, or just not worrying about it anymore. If it happens cool, if not I'm going to live my life one day at a time.

[@shezzamartins]

Wow, I feel exactly the same way minus the throwing up part but the thought of delivery scares me tbh I think I have some sort of phobia. 😅

[@26akhnuwkh]

I had my first at 28 . My youngest is 3 I’m now 39 and 5 months pregnant now . Outside of statistics I feel great . I don’t feel to old . I still have plenty left . My children keep me feeling young . This is baby # 6 ❤ I’m already thinking one more before I completely shut down shop 😊

[@EmilyKresl]

I had my first when I was 21 and that was after all my friends in high school were already teen moms so I was just happy to be able to finish school. My son is 20 now and off living his best life and honestly I am grateful I was younger when I had kids because these days I'm exhausted and teenagers take a lot out of you (more than you'd realize). My youngest is 12 now and once she's 18 I'll hopefully still be spry enough to go travel the world and enjoy my empty nest for a minute before becoming a grandmother!

[@sg5720]

Had mine at 24. My next at 28. Now in my 40 - they are teens and hubby and I having a blast. 😊🤷🏽‍♀️

[@radiant_gem6736]

I had my kids at 19 and 20. I don’t recommend that young. My kids had to grow up with me. If I had waited I probably would’ve just went child free so I’m glad I did. I do see the advantages of waiting if you know you want to be a mother tho. At that time I didn’t even know myself for real. I’m grateful for them regardless

[@talkingtochapri]

There are 25 year old mothers who aren't spending time with their and are being terrible parents. Again, each to their own. What works out for you may or may not work out for other people.

[@traceylennon1204]

Why would you want to bring babies into this crazy world anyway? I don't understand!

[@mllwbby]

THIS!!!

[@MyName123.]

EXACTLY! I AGREE.

[@benatiyah]

Not fertile at 35 Lol! I had twins at 36 and another single baby at 37l! I am trying so hard NOT to have another baby! I had no idea I was so fertile😂

[@pennybarker1596]

In my country, they teach that childbearing years are 21 to 34. Young pregnancies before 21 are not good for the mother because it will cause complications later in life. Having kids after 35 is dangerous for both and often might result in lower IQ or Down syndrome. Don't come for me. This is what I was told in school. When I moved to Canada, I was very surprised that women didn't know these things. When your brain stops developing at 25, then it means you are still a child before that. A body of a woman below the age 21 is not ready for childbearing. 21 to 35 is the window. In my country, they call children from older parents "the bell by the coffin."🤷‍♀️

[@Blissedx]

This conversation is a deeply personal one. Every one’s story is different. Just let life bring what it has in store for you.

[@myGodmycreator]

I had my kid at 42yrs. I had a healthy pregnancy and birthing without epidural. I did everything right, my only fear was dying at the hands of the doctors! I breastfed until she turned 4. Im going to say if you eat healthy and exercise and pray? You will be just fine! I lost all the baby weight, back to 132 lbs. Financially? Its a little bit challenging but it helped me to become a minimalist!😂

[@bigtitegothbiotch2231]

Your only fear was dying at the hands of the doctors, pregnant over 40. Yeah you sound really educated 😅 hahaha

[@bigtitegothbiotch2231]

Ew!! Until she was four?!?!?! Gross Girl your comment makes me sick. Beginning to end. Smh 😒

[@chantellegreeneyes7596]

4 is still baby all though will b eating solids. Mamas milk is best 4 baby cow milk for calf is inferior substitute

[@myGodmycreator]

As long as I took fenugreek? That milk was running like a facet 🤣 I was very modest, wouldn't breastfeed in public, only at home😁

[@bigtitegothbiotch2231]

@chantellegreeneyes7596 age four is way way too old. I have five sons they all stopped at age two. Y'all are gross

[@dumpmail-xz2qp]

just freeze your eggs and you can have them even at 70 if you are crazy enough... jokes aside, young women should focus on finishing school and make enough money to actually afford a child

[@chanelno.5560]

1st and 2nd at 33 & 34 and the first 5yrs were a blur! Went for a Perimenopause Investigative Scan at 44 last July and they found a 4th old foetus instead l!!!! 5wks in the newborn trenches and I’m extremely happy but of course I’m more aware of my mortality and hope I’m around for as long as possible 💜

[@RUNWAYBEAUTY]

I definitely thought about family illness and mental illness when I was younger. This is why I am 45 and child free. I dodged all types of b^llets. It’s too much going on.

[@briannab.8127]

I’m in my mid 30s and I want a child . In my twenties I literally was depressed and made 25000 per year. I’m not sure if I was ready for children .

[@rachaelcox4104]

Had my first at 15 and two more before I was 23.. my kids are the happiest in the world and very healthy ❤ we have a wonderful life

[@___.blessed.beauty.___b9446]

I had my son at 16 years old he’s now going on 17 years old. I’m 33 years old and now pregnant. I’m happy given the circumstances I’m truly blessed God decided to allow me to get a 2nd chance at mother hood. I’m in a healthy relationship, have secure employment and housing. I’m terrified because that’s an almost a 20 year gap! I’m starting from scratch lol. This pregnancy was so much harder on my body. But I’m blessed to be going on this journey again.

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Yeah. Are you doing daily walks and the bounce ball? I wish I would have done that and kept my strength.

[@___.blessed.beauty.___b9446]

@ I don’t really walk around too much sadly lol. It’s winter 🥶 and I can’t move fast enough in the cold with my sciatica (from pregnancy) I do use my yoga ball everyday with those exercises!! Very good but oh man I get lightning crotch after because baby boy is already engaged

[@not_the_same_]

I remember a time when ppl would not eat while recording. Now i feel ppl will save their last 4 chips to eat them while filming 🥴😂

[@angelinaexplains]

Yep 😅 I personally like it. Makes them seem very relatable.

[@TheGuniverse2k]

She literally made me pull out my chips 😂 I personally loved the sound of the crunch and even the bag 😅

[@pileshongwe7827]

I don’t understand people who eat and talk with food in their mouth and worse they record it’s so nasty 🤮 no table manners i skipped her part

[@tamekadavis6641]

As a woman it's our body our choices. But having a child over the age of 35 can be high risk for some women.

[@jartisteobscure3992]

❤❤ watching from California good subject and analySis (see what I did there? I'm a nerd) The story about how your father raised you is super sweet and very heartening. I had my "One and Done" babygirl at 34 and it was the BEST timing in my life! I look at her in pre school now and I'm so happy I never considered having kids in my 20s HELL no! I've traveled worldwide, lived many lives and now it's easy to know what to do to travel WITH her when I feel like it. I enjoyed this one a lot. Keep it up lady 💥🤙🏾

[@Dreas_Redpumps]

My first was 34 and my last was 38… I didn’t think about age until I seen “geriatric” pregnancy on my chart and I was like 👁️👄👁️ huh 🤣🤣🤣

[@wonnielee3407]

Got pregnant at 28 had son at 29. The comments that I faced acting like I was so late to the party

[@PrincessSunshine-e2k]

❤❤ Watching from South Africa. I absolutely love your channel. Keep up the great work.

[@mskabue]

Thank you Sis 💓☺️

[@priscillasmith6306]

You might have patience when you are older but this generation of young people don't appreciate the order generation and your kids will look down on you, and they won't want to take care of their parents either

[@africanyvette2908]

Alot of people don't even visit their parents in the nursing home, therefore, that have nothing to do with age

[@keropi193]

ngl it pisses me off when privileged adult children momsplain to me about how since Im 31 my eggs are dried up etc and like having kids early/later in life is simply a whim or a choice. Sometimes youre young and youre trapped in a pregnancy. Sometimes youre 31 like me and still years away from getting a mortgage (which you promised you would get before starting a family after yours lost your house in '09). So tired of the meemaw-house-and-land-inheritors and triple generations of teen moms telling me how to handle my life and finances.

[@rachaelcox4104]

She's 23??? That woman looks 40's!

[@laurenwilliams8929]

42 and no kids yet 😢 watching from DC, and I LOVE your content!

[@anitacalvert7593]

My mom had her first child age 21 and her last age 45 she had 15 children. I was born in the menopausal years.

[@anitacalvert7593]

She lived to age 74, very healthy and active, until ovarian cancer took her home to heaven. She was the best mom through many challenges. ❤

[@MyName123.]

15 children!?!? who took care of your mom??? did Dad help diaper, bathe, clothe, feed those 15 kids everyday?

[@SeekAfterGod]

My parents had me older I didn’t care until I was like 18 and they were already needing my support which I didn’t mind but I was an only child. It was a lot of pressure and changed the path I was able to go in life. Like I postponed college because I had to take care of them. None of my friends had the responsibilities that I had. I still needed them but they weren’t even able to take good care of themselves much less me. Than at only 25 I was a full time care giver of 2. I cried myself to sleep many a night. My friends were growing careers and dating starting families. I was so busy I didn’t even go on one date for six years. No young man at my age would have been able to understand the commitment and the pressure I was under and I honestly didn’t want to put anyone else in my situation.

[@s.morgan83]

I had my babies from 28, 30, 36, and 38. I love kids. 2 of my kids (my first two) are with my ex husband and his new wife due to my military career, the divorce was mutual. Six years later, I had two more kids with my bf. My parenting is military style. I am done though, I am 41 years old.

[@SeekAfterGod]

My parents had me older I didn’t care until I was like 18 and they were already needing my support which I didn’t mind but I was an only child. It was a lot of pressure and changed the path I was able to go in life. Like I postponed college because I had to take care of them. None of my friends had the responsibilities that I had. I still needed them but they weren’t even able to take good care of themselves much less me. Than at only 25 I was a full time care giver of 2. I cried myself to sleep many a night. My friends were growing careers and dating starting families. I was so busy I didn’t even go on one date for six years from 19-25. Not one date. I got asked out, but I knew that was impossible so I always declined. Between working studying and full-time caregiving I don’t know how I got through that time.

[@reshenewells6815]

Had a child at 36 pregnancy premature ages you and I get mistaken for my own child granddaughter I'm 46 and I have a ten year old I also have fibroids and ovarian cyst so having kids later is harder on the body but I was too broke and immature to have kids in my 20s

[@TeeBri]

So are all of these 70+ expectant grandparents certain they’ll still be alive. My mom had me at 29 and she died when I was 33 so ijs no one knows when their time is up.

[@CinematikNupe]

Dont have kids. Problem solved

[@terrylu1843]

I think the perfect age is 26-27

[@precioussilva906]

I wasn't supposed to have kids and had finally came to terms with that and at 36 found out I was preggo had a difficult pregnancy due to my illnesses but with that being said I'm glad he came when he did cuz I was so immature as a young adult.

[@nelliebly6616]

Depends on,if you have big/grown up kids ,when your 35ish...I am both a young-, and "old " mother...The siblings have a lot of joy out of eachother...And the parents are more experienced and relaxed ❤

[@ultravioletshade9071]

I’m 45 with a 25 year old and a 5 year old. ❤

[@radiant_gem6736]

❤❤ watching from New Jersey, USA

[@mskabue]

Thank you for watching ☺️💓💓

[@briannab.8127]

Me too ❤❤

[@ccd5942]

Childfree

[@BeautifulChoas1]

I’m an older mom I love it 37 women can do nothing right 🤣🤣

[@delicate1]

Totally agree with the first man, people are so programed and can't think for themselves

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

8:38 patience -- yes!!! Ive been sooooo chill 😂😂😂 my duaghter says she loves that about me (she's 8)

[@delicate1]

Also agree with the lady eating chips.

[@sarahstallings1035]

Ok so I was teen mom, with my first and than I had my second child at 35 so I’d say I had more patience for sure

[@EmilyKresl]

If you're old enough to legally drink alcohol (21+) you're not eligible to call yourself a teen mom.

[@danyliv2028]

What’s the correlation between legal age of drinking and being a mom? The states decided that you are old enough to be responsible of your consomption of alcohol at 21 (16 where I am live), does it means you are old enough to be responsibly to take care of a child? To me, personally, absolutely not so I agree with the “teen mom until 26” statement 😂

[@tyrastarrweaver]

5:59 I’ll never get why y’all get on these apps talking while y’all eating like damn that shit is my BIGGEST PET PEEEVE & I skip over whatever they gotta say EVERY TIME!!!!

[@EarthQueen-1111]

Had my first at 30 and second at 32.. never want kids again lol

[@Karenmariepombagira]

My mom been crazy from childhood

[@callalilly1988]

22:16 😂😂😂 this is so funny.

[@BlkOnyx0508]

Mid to late twenties is best. Thirty something pregnant is not for the weak

[@bea_ramm]

So genetically on my mother’s side children are known to be born with serve disabilities. Two out of my three siblings were born with lots of special needs since my mom had them when she was 34/36. . Turning 35 this year myself, I don’t know if motherhood is in my future 😔

[@kidsgrove-spider8405]

Cameron Diaz had her kids after 45

[@amandajade8012]

❤❤ from Sydney, Australia

[@callalilly1988]

21:09 😂😂😂 the whole baby!

[@kelliepatrick519]

I was 28 when I had my third and last. He's 32 now and seems to think it was unfair that he had/has such an 'old' mother....

[@valetterenoux1871]

Omg, gross. Who eats while they’re filming themselves talking?! And chips?! How is anyone supposed to focus on what she’s saying when all you can hear is crinkle, crunch, crunch while she’s talking. Literally masticating potato chips while she is trying to speak. Can’t take that seriously.

[@mixedgirlmemoir]

5:50 I would sooo appreciate if I didn’t have to be bombarded with a video of someone aggressively chewing, and being stuffing their face while I’m listening to these videos, I literally almost gagged and threw up in my mouth

[@mllwbby]

I read your comment at the same time that clip popped up and almost bussed out laughing 😅

[@mixedgirlmemoir]

@ lmao 🤣

[@puddin12dt]

❤❤ California

[@shaybutter3403]

5:51 what age u gotta be to know it's rude to eat and talk... 😡

[@avSCompact]

A woman like Naomi Campbell.😆 NC is a kadia/kadesh.

[@jesscruz4114]

❤❤

[@mskabue]

💓💓🤗