Narcissistic Abuse Inside Out: Charles Bowes-Taylor Interviews Compilation

[@DeeCee1878]

It is so true… you can not exist as a self and have the attention or affection of a narcissist. I began to realize this slowly, as I found myself being blamed for everything he destroyed. The only way I could keep things from escalating further was to become numb, be silent, and overvalue his perceptions. I realize now that he has gone, I have lost my sense of self and have trouble functioning now in the real world. Living in the shadows of despair, self-doubt, and blame, the best parts of me died.

[@alllifematters]

I believe they are still there, now that the shadow is gone try focusing on all the things you love... Like if you love gardening then really enjoy taking care of your plants and watching them thrive and be beautiful in the sunshine kinda thing ;) just keep focusing on and enjoying the things that do make you feel good 👍

[@DeeCee1878]

@@alllifematters I have to figure out what is possible now. He took the things I loved the most-my hime, my garden, and my dogs.

[@mariahernadez9702]

Yes, this is true, I recall getting these reactions from my ex. He would flip and get so upset when I’d want things done my way or if I’d mention my opinions and was opposition to whatever he wanted done. I’m glad I went no contact with him. He was trying to make me believe I was dumb & crazy, and belittled me, speaking down on my person. He lies, and lies & can’t stop. It’s scary really.

[@arabianprincess85]

From 1:09:00 onward.. No contact.. Save your Life. Words to live by and listen to ANY time your memory begins fooling you!

[@DeeCee1878]

As always, Sam gives the hard hitting brutality of the facts, and helps us to better understand what we have been victimized by, and have answers to the questions many of us have been plagued by for years. After being suddenly abandoned after 20 years of trying and hoping, I am finally starting to realize there was nothing more I could have done. I never failed him, but I sure did fail to protect myself. I feel sorry for his new supply. She hasn’t a clue what he has already done behind her back, and who and what he is truly capable of. None of what we believe we see is based in reality, and once you let them destroy you, they replace you with a cruelty I never could believe was possible.

[@ciaraskeleton]

Sam's eye for patterns and detail will never grow old to me. I study mostly alone and i dont have access to lecturers of this caliber, so this unbelievably informative and reaffirming for me in my own observations. Great as always!

[@RosaHMartinez]

Thank you, professor Sam, your insight is the best. You are helping a lot of people process their trauma.

[@dilfuzakhaydarova2859]

Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin ❤

[@ginafarley6190]

With leaving a real narcissist, there is real pain. Don’t forget they’re trying to give you their pain. It’s not yours. That’s the trick. You took on the heavy pain that’s not yours. Sorry but it’s time for me to go. Make that decision

[@adriandacruz9018]

😊😊😊

[@adriandacruz9018]

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@belladolce85]

❤❤

[@debbie1873]

The most succinct, crucial, hard hitting, brutal simple truths. I broke no contact and went down a rabbit hole to hell. This talk rammed home the stark naked hopeless truth of the nature of the beast I’ve been dealing with, the deadly seriousness of it’s nature alongside the grace to forgive yet never ever go back, and to lay down the ghost of a phantom relationship in which I was the ultimate prey. Thank you both for instilling such necessary and life saving clarity. I’m also interested from a spiritual perspective as to why we may chose to experience these incredibly detrimental and extreme physiological dynamics, I hope on the other side it makes more sense. The one I had the horror of knowing had a few years in an SAS type training situation and was extremely volatile, dangerous, very intelligent and ruthlessly un-empathetic and cruel, basically a psychopath. I know I’m lucky to be alive and also to have kept my sanity and hopes intact, although it’s been hardcore and nearly smashed my soul to pieces.

[@lynnienorris5776]

The Cruelty is the Worst

[@belladolce85]

@@lynnienorris5776them not thinking their cruel and were just sensitive/dramatic/have done worse to them, compounds it by a million

[@HeavenlyGirl]

Thank you for this video, as it has been most helpful to me! I have went through a lot of abuse from Narcissists, somehow I attract them. I had left my ex who was an extremely psychopathic grandiose narcissist and it took me years to overcome the abuse he gave me which was every form of abuse you can think of. Only to find myself with another one along with his parents. This video has helped me understand them more. I have to say that your videos are the best videos in learning more about Narcissism. When I learnt that my ex is a Narcissist that's when I was on the road to recovery (many years later) as I sought help and knowledge about it as I just had to understand and move forwards. Only to find myself in another chronic PTSD again with 3 more and I am living with them, until I get into my own house and when it is ready for me to move into it. I haven't considered my current husband to be a narcissist, though I wondered, but after watching this video, I am convinced that he is. A huge part of me just doesn't want to believe it... A Covert Narcissist, is what he seems to be. Living in a house with 3 Narcissists has been terrible on me! I have to literally leave the house from morning to evening to myself to gain my sanity and trying to have space away from my husband is tricky sometimes. They do not respect my space. I have to enforce boundaries and that can be so stressful at times when they don't respect my boundaries. I will be spending a few weeks with my best friend to have space. I have to say that I really admire your knowledge. Thank you for all of your videos.

[@blueberrygtag]

Thanks Sam for enlightening us with your knowledge! I've lived with your kind all my life! Father, sister and boyfriends. I guess I'm healing...but it's hard work!

[@danielfrancoismalherbe6803]

As a southern African, thank you for this.

[@iseeuchilinhomie6992]

🤯 thanks for the knowledge 🙌🏽

[@OrchardsOnWalkabout]

This is fascinating, thank you. I am educating myself on the topic. I'm trying to locate a copy of the table talked about at 2:14 if you're able to point me in the right direction.

[@samvaknin]

What table? I don’t mention a table at 2:14.

[@OrchardsOnWalkabout]

@@samvaknin The table by Akhtar and Cooper 1989

[@samvaknin]

@@OrchardsOnWalkabout samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

[@ST-ox9jq]

Only the person who created the concept, can explain the blueprint ideas. Vankin, you could do training to train therapist how to provide therapy for individuals.....and help survivors of abuse. Be sure to copyright it hun.

[@kimmyles9000]

I exsperinced the exact same thing. It is a difficult thing to know you were just in a shared fantasy. It wasn't real. In someway it's healing to know you were in nothing. You never had a relationship

[@JavierMares]

Since NPD as a system is homomorphic to a predator, could it be not merely a developmental malfunction but an evolutionary adaptation honed and improved for survival in certain environments? We tan to protect us from the sun, we enter an irreversible NPD state to protect from a cruel social environment?

[@samvaknin]

Narcissists end life badly. It is a maladaptation, if anything.

[@JavierMares]

@@samvaknin Thank you Professor Vaknin.