The Real Reason Women Feel Safer with a Bear than a Man

[@mwa5704]

Why is no one asking the question does the bear feel safe with the woman?

[@lukin4u265]

A false conviction is still jail time.

[@brianflores8303]

Why wouldn't a woman feel safe with a gay hairy man?

[@JohnDoe-gy5dr]

And a reputation that can’t be recovered after doing nothing wrong. No bear deserves that kind of heat.

[@andrewbeydoun9285]

I feel like if it's with a modern woman, the suicide rate would sky rocket in the bear community.

[@lavatun]

Coz animal cruelty is illegal..

[@ssdd4424]

It makes sense. Bears are over 6 feet tall, muscular, unemployed, have multiple baby mamas, don’t raise their own kids, and extremely violent. Everything the modern woman wants.

[@mikefoy7018]

Lmao ohhhh buddy shots fired 😂😂😂

[@melissamartinez3593]

😂😂❤️❤️❤️😂

[@PiecesMissing]

Underrated! 😂

[@safapresley]

Savage

[@israelvalenzuela2635]

Stop making some much sense

[@TheFizzyGee]

Eveyone: its a bear, run Women: i can change him Bear: rawr

[@Mr.Booboo-ky6lm]

Yeah she changed the bear if it says rawr instead of pinning her down and eating her chunk by chunk

[@virtualatheist]

Yes. She'll changed the bear from hungry to sleepy.

[@t23001]

Coming soon: sad bear holding a bunch of shopping bags at the mall while his human girlfriend shops.

[@eugenetswong]

This makes so much sense now. I heard that bears run away from people. I think that ears are also tired of simping. They must be pretty smart, because they ran away long before men did.

[@Jennyluvstea]

Not all women are like this

[@crystallopez4667]

The bear question tricked the feminist into admitting there are differences between the genders.

[@JBF-7]

Feminists by their very meaning of that term….know gender. Womp womp.

[@TwirlipOfTheMists]

Heads up: feminists *do* think there are statistical differences between men and women. However you and they will disagree about the level of influence genetics and environment have on how masculine or feminine someone is

[@nealjroberts4050]

What it's done is display the social differences that feminism hasn't dealt with.

[@xbassackwardx]

It did more than that. It revealed that they think that men are morally inferior to women. The same women would rather be alone in the woods with a woman than a bear.... If ♀️>🐻>♂️, Then ♀️>♂️ Thats androphobia.

[@MagicMonkey96]

⁠@@xbassackwardx”we want men to treat us as equals, in our attempt at doing this we have decided to constantly take shots and them and tell them they are horrible and not to be trusted”

[@Chad_Fuckhammer]

The age of men is over. The age of bears has begun.

[@natesharp8448]

Better than age of the Ork

[@agetrobadass]

Sus! Theres a bear in the chat, you aint fooling no one

[@Chad_Fuckhammer]

@@natesharp8448 and meat is back on the menu!

[@_Sage967_]

*not that kinda bear

[@bluevelvet2]

This made me lol 😂

[@swagshitol1603]

Now ask them if they’re safer with a polar bear 🐻‍❄️ or a black bear 🐻

[@the_SolLoser]

Genuinely a good question. Could even throw in brown bear just mess with them. And if you want to push it further, throw in Sun bear. They're practically harmless irl, and could be the Oriental stand in.

[@bluetrilobite]

Make the question better by using "white bear" instead of polar bear.

[@anitat9727]

Jokes aside, black bear > man. Man > polar bear.

[@swagshitol1603]

@@anitat9727 yeah black bear cant save u from drowning tho, they dont know how to swim

[@beansdestroyer]

@@anitat9727 man>black bear> black man> grizzley>polar bear

[@01nmuskier]

Women would rather encounter a bear...as long as he is over 6 feet tall and earns $200k.

[@Mgoblagulkablong]

and even then they will only interact with it for the goal go get half of the bears stuff

[@hope-cat4894]

Polar bears can grow up to being 8 ft tall. What man can compete with that? 😭

[@B3rz_]

​@@hope-cat4894is that you skee-lo?

[@anthonygiambruno4487]

500k*

[@anthonygiambruno4487]

500k and 6’2”*

[@ronnbot]

Women: we need more women in power Also women: bears are safer than men

[@HouseOfSneed]

women : advocate for criminal justice reform also women : complain about feeling unsafe

[@Edmar_Thorn]

You realise how all of these are complimentary right...? More women in power because bears are safer than men... criminal justice needs reformed because men are unsafe...? No...? Or did you actually get the point and this isn't sarcasm?

[@kristoferprovencal3608]

@@Edmar_Thornyou’re right on the first one, not the second. For the first one, though the premise itself that a majority of men are dangerous to women is incorrect, if you do subscribe to that way of thinking, the statement of needing more women in power would be logically consistent. For the second one, women overwhelmingly support Democrat, soft on crime policies, creating less safe environments, and then complain about feeling unsafe, this one is obviously contradictory.

[@Mereologist]

There was a group of women who wanted to establish a curfew for all law-abiding men so women could go out at night and ONLY encounter criminal men.

[@michaelmitchel3471]

​@@Edmar_Thornyou almost cooked, then you had to keep going with the second one. The end result of a criminal justice reform is releasing those "dangerous" people back into society. It isn't complementary

[@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat]

The actual correct way to format the question is: Would you be safer if all the men on earth were replaced with bears.

[@johnw6060]

Hahaha. Nice. And imagine it was immediately. Poof! Bear in the cockpit. Bears can't fly! Poof! Bear performing open heart surgery....pfft bro doesnt even have thumbs. What an idiot! Poof! Football game! 11 vs 11. But all bears!! 3/4 of the crowd! Poof! Bears! Took a cute guy home from the bar? Poof! No you didn't. You're making out with a bear! Talk about bad breath amirite? The situations are crazy!

[@himanisri]

Ahem. *alone* with a bear or man

[@jfkmax]

@@himanisri man, at least I can kick the nuts or any weak part if he tries (which I don’t know why he would if we’re alone in some place we don’t know) And otherwise I try to be homies

[@Icemario87]

​@@himanisri bear has the bigger 🍆

[@inthefade]

Bears don't GAF if you are alone with you or not. The vast majority of men and humans on the planet will respect your safety and especially men will often risk their own safety for women. Bears don't. What a perfect illustration of the propaganda against men in our modern world.

[@vAngelx]

The hungry bear prefers a woman to pick them over a man too, trust

[@humantacos9800]

I support feminist decision and would love to see their words in action.

[@ryanarmacost6115]

Same women who would choose the bear are the same ones fighting to keep men in girls bathrooms and locker rooms

[@ummokay2611]

So true, those women are beyond mental.

[@normanclatcher]

Hey. Sometimes it's not about the sign on the door, but... It's what's inside that counts. ...and by that I mean urinals. I'm tired of standing at the splashback fountain when all the occupied stalls are gone. It's also... embarrassing for them to know the reason why I have to carry a funnel and sanitizing wipes.

[@ThisHandleIsNotAvailable.]

Would you rather leave a newborn baby with a bear or a man? 🤔

[@jamiejones9671]

Excellent question. A teddy bear will always win. ❤️

[@JennySparkz]

Apparently bears see newborn babies as "fun sized" Source - Barry Grizzle

[@sooty8747]

Is the man in question a member of the catholic church 🤔

[@user-js2zt5lk7m]

Women account for over 90% of newborn fatalities. I'd rather leave my baby with a bear

[@HouseOfSneed]

@@sooty8747 nah he's a rabbi at the local synagogue

[@jeremym8490]

It makes sense when you think about how whenever you make a generalization to a woman, they tell you one exception they know.

[@DrDeuteron]

"I deal in probabilities, not possibilities" -Kevin Samuels.

[@johnw6060]

Always....

[@aikighost]

"Yeah well I know this girl who hs a world class Thai boxer who could probably beat your friend Dave from down the pub in a fight..." "Darling, Dave does HVAC installations for a living..." 😂😂😂

[@bleekrisp]

women are just trained to not be as intimidated by the meal gaze

[@GenuineLhachwen]

​@@bleekrispI agree. Your comment is deserving of more love. You should've told these delusional women it was a bear. But, seriously, underrated comment.

[@michaelmitchel3471]

😂

[@1Gokartgeek1]

As a man, I can confirm that I feel safer with a bear than a with woman

[@MrExplorer1989]

A bear doesn't nag lol

[@MK-hw2ir]

@@MrExplorer1989made me chuckle 😂

[@ethannieves8201]

Atleast a bear wouldn't flat out lie about being assaulted and try to take your kids.

[@MK-hw2ir]

@@ethannieves8201 a bear also wouldnt claim to “just go on a girlstrip” and in the meanwhile getting her guts rearranged

[@p3nglin]

That’s exactly the same lame-ass joke they’re making… 🤦‍♂️

[@BobvanT]

As a man this is unbearable …

[@Isiel42]

Can't tell if this pun was done on purpose or not

[@MagicMonkey96]

They Bearly respect us 😔

[@Reathety]

Stop trying to make me run a hedge fund. If I had a dollar every time a gal told that to me.

[@DrDeuteron]

you can't run a hedge fund with a bush.

[@luisluis5306]

their periods attract bears

[@ipoopd]

So... They should be more afraid of bears?

[@theredscourge]

@@ipoopd man, bears are stupid, it's a good thing they're so strong!

[@LANGI902]

They've put the whole office in danger.

[@luisluis5306]

@@ipoopd Yes but they like BBC (Big Bear Co*k)

[@FantasmagoriaAhoy]

The smell of toothpaste attracts bears much more ...so you're safe, Luis.

[@aesthetix3398]

I’d rather choose a man over a bear. I said that I’d rather choose the man in a comment section and a bunch of feminists were calling me pick me.. lol.

[@StandStrong614]

I hope the woman doesn't falsely accuse the bear.

[@Myndir]

She won't accuse anyone of anything afterwards.

[@Commentator488]

If bear attacks her at least everyone will believe her and no one would ask her what she was wearing

[@Commentator488]

Tell me you’re an American without telling me you’re an American

[@Commentator488]

Tell me you’re an Amer*can, without telling me you’re an Amer*can

[@larion2336]

@@Commentator488 That's because her body would be in shreds. Kind of different when a woman accuses a guy of assaulting her 15 years ago and has absolutely zero proof. There's also not a rampant amount of cases of women going around lying about being assaulted by bears.

[@HouseOfSneed]

every time you see a woman repeat that good ole "where the real men at ?" comment , remind her to call a bear.

[@Commentator488]

Women don’t need men to protect them, they need men to stop attacking them, gr*ping them, deleting them. The only time woman needs a protection is to be protected from a men

[@DrDeuteron]

or, "Married to women who've never asked that question."

[@thymark]

Would you rather sit next to a bear or woman as the driver.

[@Sukunasenpai-p4n]

Do you ask women or men

[@MiloDar]

bear definitly

[@thymark]

@@Sukunasenpai-p4n both.

[@Kwahzutah]

A comma will make it sound less like you’re describing a man with a bear riding shotgun. 😂

[@cryptonic799]

Never considered it this way Actually makes a lot of sense

[@caraimanopow]

- Why aren’t there more women in STEM? - Exhibit A:

[@Commentator488]

Maybe in your country lol

[@cristobal.ashton]

jaja

[@greatmaddyave]

​@@Commentator488pretty sure it's every country. Lol

[@Commentator488]

@@greatmaddyave Nope, but the US maybe, the most backward first world country

[@greatmaddyave]

@@Commentator488 Nope, women do not choose STEM in every single country.

[@kimberlynelson4585]

I fully support all these modern women living in the woods with their bear soulmates -free of social media, Wi-Fi, and all the other luxuries they’ve become accustomed to.

[@justbplz]

All I know is if a woman was being chased by a bear she'd be screaming for a man to come save her... Not another bear And if a man was trying to attack her she'd still be screaming for another man to come save her... Not a bear Smdh

[@Kevc00]

Actually had a feminist friend say the whole bear in the forest thing to me, I asked her what kind of bear and she had no idea. I had to explain the difference in behaviour between a black bear, grizzly bear, and polar bear. We men spend our whole lives running through random scenarios of having to fight various kinds of dangerous animals, we know what we could reasonably beat and how, women just don't. Hence the idiotic statement.

[@-Elysionite]

no kev, its not because of that. its because the worst thing a bear can do is kill me, even if its slowly.

[@Yorikoification]

@@-Elysionite "The worst thing a bear can do is kill me, even if its slowly" Yes....Dying is sorta...The worst thing that can happen to you, cause you're flippin dead! If you think it's worse to be sexually assaulted than getting eaten alive, you are in dire need of a reality check

[@darthbauer5153]

My guy made my argument way more eloquently. Mine is, 2a exists, complaining you feel unsafe while not exercising your right to carry a legal firearm is a poor decision. If you carry a firearm you can easily defend yourself against any man with a normal carry caliber, if you’re with a bear that’s not necessarily the case. I’m a pretty good shot but I would much rather face a man while carrying a firearm than a bear. Using that logic, I can unequivocally state that I would still rather be in the presence of a predatory male than a bear because I would have a much better chance of defending myself.

[@jamellrobinson2325]

You can probably defend yourself with a pocket knife against most men lol.

[@jonathanbuzzard1376]

Right till he jumps you from behind and you don't have a chance to draw your weapon, which is what actually happens most of the time.

[@Icemario87]

​@@jonathanbuzzard1376Women get jumped from behind. Men use their necks so as not to lose them.

[@TheOmegaRiddler]

What if they mean they'd spend time with a hairy gay man?

[@jMichaelEdwards]

Ha!!!

[@samuraitadpole5459]

Don't give them that much credit

[@Kiefsti]

The only bear I would pick lol

[@trentbateman]

Bear beats twink any day!

[@rolandwoltman7835]

Twink beats Bear... At the ManHole bar

[@richardspanner5923]

Bears : _"Dammit guys, it took us YEARS of cutsey cartoon bears to gaslight modern women into walking right into our hairy hungry bear stomachs. And now, just when 'dinner that serves itself' is within our reach you guys want to blow the whole scheme wide open !!!"_

[@Mereologist]

Sorry, bears. My bad.

[@jasonsworld333]

Idk how you arent more popular

[@infra_Gray]

I think they're genuinely pro-people AND they don't mind eviscerating some people so it's hard to find a home/sponsor

[@scribbles1424]

Because he hits everyone the same. Comics like that don't get the same opportunity.

[@Spllyn]

@@scribbles1424 I agree

[@jasonsworld333]

@@scribbles1424 kinda like Gillis. I see your point

[@twelvecatsinatrenchcoat]

Anything the algorithm perceives to be even faintly right wing is deliberately tamped down.

[@damienruzco]

Plot twist every man a bear has ever mauled and killed was in defense of a woman he was chasing but the patriarchy been covering it up

[@ViQRoy89]

Sarcastaball has gone full effect

[@brandonryder5873]

Let's all put bras on our head and be as nice as possible.

[@O4C209]

Men have nothing to do with this. If women were given the option of Bear or No Bear, they'd take Bear. And try to get a selfie. And get mauled.... like that one woman who was just in the news.

[@Fizzy_Margo]

A bear acts on instinct. A man chooses what he does. I'd rather feed a bear's stomach than a man's sick fantasies.

[@bivanbivanus6448]

Because wemen lack bear experience.

[@Myndir]

Except strippers, who don't just know about bears, but even know about bearing themselves.

[@anitat9727]

Nah. They just know black bears are often cowards.

[@Shining_Light]

@@anitat9727 Overwhelming majority of men don't get up in the morning just to go after fems. Your point?

[@HouseOfSneed]

@@Shining_Light why are you expecting reason from women bro ?

[@kairu_aname]

​@@anitat9727 No they don't. And where black bears live, there's also bigger bears

[@ZUKITHRASH1]

I had a friend who looked after an actual bear, he thought the bear was cool. One morning he went to feed the bear and it completely shredded him to death. Rest in peace Brent.

[@The-Man-On-The-Mountain]

As a man, I choose the bear. It doesn't nag you nor tortures you with a neverending gossip story about people you don't know and you don't care, not going to the point EVER. It just kills you. In fact, the bear knows EXACTLY what it wants to eat: you.

[@minitntman1236]

And we still do not know what a woman wants.

[@Commentator488]

The reason why women are choosing bear: he won’t gr*pe me and everyone would believe me if he attacks me and no one would ask me what I was wearing Men: the bear won’t nagging me, tell me to take out the trash and won’t talking to me

[@kairu_aname]

​@@Commentator488 That's where you're wrong. If the wanted to, he would do those things ON TOP OF eating you alive. You have zero knowledge on the topic at hand. Shut up.

[@Kwahzutah]

@@Commentator488Crazy how annoying a man is considered as bad as actual assault on women. Mary Vincent and Junko Furuta would like a word with some of these sweet summer sons

[@MrTTdawgTT]

I’d rather be trapped with a bear because it wouldn’t immediately find ways to NOT survive in the woods, complain non stop, and panic at the sight of every bug.

[@kurdtkobainrocks]

Plus u can be pals n have a wrestle

[@beansdestroyer]

@@kurdtkobainrocks plus bears always walk around with pots of honey or marmalade

[@jamiejones9671]

I have a friend who's brother in law just recently died in a car crash, he was eaten by a bear after he crashed. It's horrible, and the family is devastated. I don't think men would eat you after you're dead, if they do, it's not because you taste good.

[@jamiejones9671]

Massachusetts by the way, look it up.

[@HoneyBunny.]

That's so awful!! I hope he was actually gone, gone, before the bear got to him! Bears don't care. Lions will typically maul their prey before they start to eat it. Tigers bite the neck. Bears usually eat their food alive. They start with the stomach, or the but which is just even scarier to think about than the other previously mentioned animals. These ladies know not what they want. Lol

[@jamiejones9671]

@HoneyBunny. It ate his driver side parts. So his left arm and torso. They were able to track the blood and other parts to an area the bear chowed down. The rest of his body was still in the car. It's just horrible

[@HoneyBunny.]

I pray he was already gone before the bear found him. 🙏 I am sorry for your friends family's loss.

[@beansdestroyer]

this was both gruesome and hilarious, congrats

[@bgt63]

Ladies please rate the following. You must enter the woods for 7 days with one from each list. Please choose by evaluating; -Most opposite pairing from each list -Most similar danger risk from each list from highest to lowest. 1)Western White man 2)Eastern Euro white man 3)Indo Brown man 4)Mid eastern Brown man 5(African Black man 6)American Black man 7)Chinese communist Asian man 8)Other Asian man 9)NA First nations man 10)Samoan man 11)Latin man (also esentially white) A) white (polar) bear B) Black/brown bear C) Grizzly bear D) Panda bear E) Kuala bear F) Drop bear (Mythical ferocious kuala) G) Yogi bear H) BooBoo bear

[@mrhentrich]

Women really do be telling on themselves 😂 Gold as always Ryan and Danny

[@brendanmaclean3013]

If you run into a man in the woods you immediately assume that person is friendly right? You’re not going to ask yourself why that person is in the woods? Bears live in the woods. People don’t. Bears are predictable. People aren’t. People use deception, ie they will tell you they are safe and do diabolically horrible shit without you even knowing it. There’s your risk assessment

[@tusharsrivastava3523]

They chose the bear, now they must go and live with him. Walk the talk.

[@TimBitts649]

A "🐻 Bear" is gay slang in Texas, meaning a Working Class gay guy in trades, like plumber. No wonder women feel safer with a 🐻 Bear, they are great guys. But I still resent their comment, which insinuate bears are not men. I for one have a couple of bear friends. Great guys. Real men. I stand with 🐻🐻🐻 🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻

[@RiddleTales]

Proverbs 17:12 says, "Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool bent on folly".

[@NikoBjelic]

Fellow bears and men we have to see through this sceme and never let to be put up against each other by women! We have a lot in common! For example we both want our freedom from women and not to be caught up in their bullshit😊

[@MathiasYmagnus]

lol but yeah lol

[@DerivativeDan24]

Alright, let's reframe the scenario. You have to give a random dude off the street a hug, you have to give a random bear in the woods a hug. Which do you choose?

[@Xzoviac]

My gf was saying it makes sence why women are picking bears and i asked her if a bear was in the street would you still walk to the shop or would you wait? She said wait. I then said well iv seen you walk past a man to get to the shop

[@galacticx1960]

​@Xzoviac they choose bear but walk by thousands of random men whenever they go out. Make it make sense

[@SUPPLEGENIUS]

@@XzoviacWhy u even trying to argue with her? Just pat her on the head and tell her she looks lovely or something.

[@Commentator488]

@@Xzoviac The bear won’t gr*pe her, torturing her for fun etc. If bear attacks her it’s because it’s hungry or feel threatened (and bear often doesn’t see women as a threat, they almost always attack man, not woman), if that bear attacks her everyone would believe her and no one would ask her what she was wearing

[@Commentator488]

@@Xzoviac She’s going by men because she has too, men are half of population and she doesn’t have a choice. Ask her would she rather have no man on the streets when she goes out, day/night, when she goes for a run or to go to work etc

[@Vunderbread]

Is this one of those Buzzfeed "statistics" where they go around a culturally diverse area asking all the single women for the edgiest take they can find on a subject?

[@michaelmitchel3471]

Almost every woman has been a victim of man spreading dude. We gotta do better

[@limitisillusion7]

I prefer a different question. If you're a woman in the woods and there's a bear in one direction and a man in the opposite direction, with direction are you running? Safest bet is to run at the man, because the man is going to run from the bear. Then again, if I'm the man and you manage to catch up to me, I'm not about to let you pass so the bear can eat me.

[@RasheedahNizam]

Prediction: hipster Bushwick/Williamsburg ladies pivot from pitbulls to bears as pets

[@patrick300ify]

The bears will probably kill less children than the pit bulls.

[@beansdestroyer]

lmaoooo

[@imlivingunderyourbed7845]

Real logic I've heard from those that picked bear: "We don't know which men are good and which are bad, so it's better safe than sorry." Ignoring how bears aren't really that safe to begin with, imagine if we use this same kind of logic towards other groups.

[@TitusArsole]

As sexist as you might think that is they definitely don't mean Black, Asian, Indian (dot and "heywa heywa") or Eskimo men

[@thegarge7476]

And they get absolutely furious when you mention that black women are statistically more dangerous than white men

[@antagonisticalex401]

Brother what are you saying 😭

[@chinchillinEveryDayEveryWeek]

​@@antagonisticalex401They saying that if the man in question was in a minority class they'd have no problem with the man. Just white men. As a brown man speaking, unfortunately a majority of what they fear of men come from POC

[@robertj6182]

Perfect analysis. Absolutely spot on.

[@britasha1194]

How many bear x woman & wolf x woman books are there again? And how popular were they?

[@trublgrl]

NEWS OF THE FUTURE: Women eaten by bears up 50% this year, and similarly, men playing video games on weekends went up by 50% as well.

[@Rkenton48]

Bears have responded. They've asked us to please keep women out of the forests.

[@warlordgon]

If a man is in the woods, chances are he knows what he's doing.

[@Blade.5786]

Yes, he's probably a camper of sorts.

[@michaelmitchel3471]

Yeah most bears are just tourists there

[@kylekillgannon]

Men choose the bear too: You're not stuck with the bear 18 years.

[@Commie_Crucifier]

Bro wtf 😭

[@kairu_aname]

​@@Commie_Crucifier He's not wrong

[@iamnotadoctor6240]

To all the men upset that women choose bear over men, you are the reason they chose bear. Also as someone who has encountered bears in the woods not one has tried to eat me. My friend that was with now thats a different story

[@maxmock2661]

women dont like men with feelings? is that what you are saying? you are saying women would choose to brutally be eaten alive than to meat a man who is sad because the women was a sexist bigot towards them?

[@EdgyPuer]

I'm sure the bear mace and threating the bear probably stopped it from eating you.

[@kairu_aname]

​@@EdgyPuer He's saying that the bear ate his friend as he ran. I'm sure the first part is satire or sarcasm. It's hard to tell without either the tags or the format.

[@X1ZR]

They probably think they have the ability to tame the bear and have it become friendly🤣🤣

[@TheNuclearGeek]

I went into STEM to meet women. It's been 20 years now. I'm sure I'll meet one in Chemical Engineering soon.

[@YammoYammamoto]

Bad at risk analysis. Indeed.

[@ampolvt]

Also, by ensuring the lack of accountability, subsequent reductions in liability support risk transfer and defer consequence mitigation efforts while retaining upside risk opportunities.

[@vedinthorn]

These guys always have the very best takes.

[@thundertower]

KEEP CHOOSING THE BEAR QUEENS! WE ❤ THIS FOR YOU🥰🥰🥰

[@maxmock2661]

you love sexist bigots who are useless to society? is it because you are one and want to make yourself feel better

[@EdgyPuer]

Leave the bear alone sweaty

[@kairu_aname]

​@@EdgyPuer Either way this is good advice. It keeps shallow women out of good men's dating pool.

[@EdgyPuer]

@@kairu_aname Yeah, but you have to feel bad for the bears. What did they do to deserve such punishment?

[@kairu_aname]

@@EdgyPuer You mean food? I see it as a win/win. Bears get food, Shallow Women get torturously eaten alive, or R'd and THEN torturously eaten. Not sure why they want the bear, but let them bust their own chops

[@crispben]

“Loved it!”

[@kennydolby1379]

women : all men are tapists also women : refugees welcome

[@cevinwillson9113]

Bears are 6ft tall 😅

[@gunblade7610]

"We're bad at risk analysis, stop making us do it" hhahahahqhwhwh😂

[@scribbles1424]

I don't get their reasoning. They interact with men on the daily hundreds of times and nothing bad happens but in the forest they'd trust a wild animal over a random guy who'd probably not do anything? C'mon man.

[@r.achel044]

would you trust your sister or daughter alone in the woods with a random man? come on i'm taking the bear anyday. worse case scenario it kills me, which yeah that sucks but i'll take that over, ya know. bear most likely would just leave you alone anyway. men? you guys are fucking scary when you're alone

[@albinm6278]

​@@r.achel044the man is even more likely to leave you alone though. Like if you're making an honest estimate what percentage of campers/hikers do you actually think are murder-raping women with no relation to them first opportunity they get

[@bobsmith5088]

Because the woods is the natural environment for a bear. There is nothing surprising about it. It seems natural, and therfore non-threatening; a random occurrence. The woods is not necessarily the natural environment for a man alone. There is something sinister about the implications of "coming upon a man alone in the woods". There is the fear that it may not be a random occurrence. Of course, logical and statistically everyone knows which is more dangerous, but one is framed in such a way as to sound more ominous. To put it another way - how many horror movies feature a scary man it the woods, and how many horror movies feature a scary bear in the woods?

[@bobsmith5088]

​@@r.achel044If men were as scary as you seem to imply, the situation of women in general would be much different than what it is now. Men could easily subjugate you any time they wish. It is only that they do not wish it that keeps you safe.

[@ezkiller93]

@@r.achel044 Worst case scenario? No, ONLY case scenario. I'm not sure how you can even manage to breathe with your intelligence level and reasoning. Wish I lived as a sheltered life as you to think the way that you do.. A bear does not end its prey before it starts eating. It starts eating, and somewhere down the line its prey expires.

[@tonkajahari3010]

I honestly can’t watch Long anymore after watching him bomb miserably on KillTony. 😂

[@KevinStudent]

Gold.

[@johnfrench5856]

Let's just toss the word black in front of the word man and ask women that. I feel like it will cause chaos

[@EdgyPuer]

Funny thing is you could also put in front of bear too.

[@MagicMonkey96]

@@EdgyPuerblack bears are pretty easy to survive imo

[@EdgyPuer]

@@MagicMonkey96 And how many black bears have you survived?

[@MagicMonkey96]

@@EdgyPuer none 😔 the man is still the statistically safer option

[@jamieosu]

I originally took it at face value as well. When asked if I would rather have my daughters alone in the woods with a bear or a man I immediately answered "man". My reasoning was that my daughters chance of survival alone in the woods is practically zero. When considering whether to add a bear or a man into the situation, A bear may not attack them but it definitely wouldn't do anything to help them so would not increase their chances. While it's not guaranteed a man would be safer, the likelihood that an adult would try to help children in distress is significantly higher. I may be naive but I believe its human nature for people to try to help others, male or female.

[@Skelovane]

I think even the bears would rather not deal with the women! 😂

[@ShitpostingArchive]

if i had to choose to be alone in the woods with a bear or a woman i would take the bear too, at least it doesnt make you suffer for years

[@cosmish]

Gold!

[@michaelmitchel3471]

bear attacks are so low not just because of proximity, but because we have a natural fear of them, which makes us take the correct precautions. These women are trying to shift that fear towards men, and if they succeed(theoretically) you would see bear attacks go up

[@amandaparenteau9288]

Lots of angry men here, bears wouldn’t get angry if we didn’t choose them.

[@MagicMonkey96]

Bears want you to choose them so they can eat you.

[@user-vl3bn1yc6r]

Ma'am this is a happy place. The squabble is not welcome. Take your quibble to the bear.

[@papaxota4725]

No but they would get "hungry" instead 💀

[@GreysonVall]

I mean, generally when you dehumanize people it angers them. You are just that casual being abusive towards us

[@BrookeKnoble]

At least they’d believe I was attacked by a bear. ;/

[@Dev-qs2yb]

As a member of the Bear Cartel, i refuse this offer. Maybe the Lions can have them. Grizzle Grizzle 🐻

[@TheCrealkiller]

They don't want to be treated like a piece of meat so they pick the bear!... Wait...

[@Mdjagg]

#PureComedy!

[@sdab06]

Pure gold😂😂

[@somoneontheinternjet3757]

The bear question is either a great complement to the man or a great insult to the bear

[@Kwahzutah]

Compliment to the man. Look how much ground man has conquered compared to the bear, despite having such comparatively limited physical prowess. While magnificent, the bear has very much “lost” in their claiming of territory and only been allowed what land they cover.

[@Mark-ci6ln]

It’s basically guaranteed it’s safer picking man over bear But a evil man is infinitely scarier than a bear

[@RoyArrowood]

But what about an evil bear?

[@Snipergoat1]

You know, a bear won't kill you before it eats you. Death usually occurs around halfway through due to massive trauma.

[@Mark-ci6ln]

@@Snipergoat1 waaaaay better than what some “humans” have done

[@siral2000]

And a rabid grizzly bear is scarier than a evil man.

[@RoyArrowood]

@@Mark-ci6ln What about a bear that raipes?

[@ianmast2068]

it's obviously because i could beat a bear in a fight

[@Cassandra112]

hahah. killed it with this one guys.

[@dandavis5533]

Ryan, you missed a button.

[@erikjrn4080]

Men, remember: If you're ever involved in a bear attack, be considerate, and make sure all women present are closer to the bear, than they are to you. Whatever you do, don't get between a woman and the bear, as that would be considered very threatening. Follow this rule, and the women will _feel_ safe, the men will _be_ safe, and the bear will get a full meal. It's a win, all across.

[@justalittlebitmo]

Lol! Spot on

[@Avarice_Chimera]

Just uhhh...just gonna be over here observing the sheer magnitude of the missing of the point

[@bebrochka8113]

Waiting for the news about your encounter with the bear, hope they will be able to identify the remains

[@danelleschaefer3989]

Think of it this way, ALL bears eat meat and will eat you if given the chance. Not all men are rapists. The problem is we just spend a heck of a lot more time around men than bears so we've learned to be more afraid of them.

[@slug3856]

Yes, that's essentially what the joke was. Woman are emotional and bad at math. Thanks for reiterating it.

[@thegreatwal1224]

This is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Bears are usually super chill if you don’t mess with them. Look up how many people are killed by bears in the US each year. Spoiler: it’s less than 1 on average.

[@anitat9727]

That's actually false. Black bears are omnivores

[@beansdestroyer]

@@anitat9727 "will eat meat if given the chance" you: thats false, they eat meat and plants

[@mweathers79]

Been waiting on this

[@Redbleach]

This was the funniest thing I've seen all day! Perfect short

[@WanderingExistence]

Hairy, heavy set, gay men are probably nicer to women. She always was emotionally attracted to a man who is in touch with his feelings, understands fashion and home decor, and doesn't roll his eyes when she talks about astrology.

[@democraticrepublicofsprout7263]

I can trust that the bear will try to eat me, can't trust a human though.

[@michaelmitchel3471]

True. I feel safe with a gun pointed to my head, because I know that I'll either die, or I won't. But a boppit can do so many different things....

[@marcusmiller5443]

Genius retort.

[@moesheen654]

Amazing take on this. Good work.

[@Vunderbread]

"Loved it"