The Roman mystery

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#mythology #jesus #easter #rome #christian #abrahamic #god #comedy

[@irotr53]

That must've been a very awkward moment for the guards of that place

[@justinn8541]

They probably left him alone because the last time he died, the sky turned dark and the earth shook.

[@anthonydoll8574]

"Awkward"? Try terrifying. Those guards were under orders from Pontius Pilate himself to keep watch of that tomb. If he found out they were sleeping when the body disappeared, they would all be executed. And they knew it.

[@ThePrinterLab]

@@anthonydoll8574 Not exactly. It never says that it was a Roman guard just that the Jewish officials asked Cesar and he said they (the Jews) had plenty of people to use. This also lines up with how extra biblical sources depict Cesar. He is usually depicted as a dick that will do things just to annoy people especially the Jews.

[@dakw1776]

​@@ThePrinterLab Aye, it was the Jews who sent a guard. There's nothing Roman about it.

[@iliketea1427]

"Well it didn't just get up and walk away, now did it?!" Roman soldier & Disciples: it might seem crazy what I'm about to say

[@tobennaisaaconyirioha3985]

Sunshine she’s here you can take a break

[@user-ff1le1ru8l]

He ascended into heaven

[@captainginyu2310]

But hear me out

[@Dominant_Jest]

Yeah...

[@QuartzKnightYT]

But it did

[@Im-Not-a-Dog]

"Its funny you should say that, sir....because...well...it did."

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Lol yup

[@rambofan334]

"Say what now?"

[@Nightmar3s4ev3r]

Fr

[@NotATV4546]

“About that…”

[@TheCorruptReaper]

I had the exact same idea for a comment

[@justinn8541]

Soldier: Well... Romans: AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM!?!?! Soldier: Condering the sky turned dark and the ground shook when we killed him, we thought it would be best for everyone if we left him alone.

[@gedutispetravicius1398]

at least someone watched the Jesus film when they were a kid

[@mdsystems4463]

Soldier: H-HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MAGIC ZOMBIE! (🫰🏻) Jesus: Now all the water in your houses is wine Soldier: ... Screw this, I'm going home

[@ProfessionalNamielleLewder69]

​@@mdsystems4463The soldier didn't go home out of frustration. Quite the opposite, he went home to chug on wine.

[@ComfortingColourlessLight]

A very reasonable decision given roman soldiers were polytheistic.

[@LadyHeathen82]

@@ProfessionalNamielleLewder69that was the obvious punchline

[@christopherg2347]

"Somehow, Jesus returned..."

[@Yo42169]

Best comment

[@jamesmeaden9227]

Literally

[@LamanKnight]

Speaking as a Christian, I believe if you told Jesus that joke, he would laugh. (That's my opinion, at least.)

[@antoniofinotti8877]

Thats just lazy writing😂

[@egg952]

@@antoniofinotti8877or good luck

[@bthsr7113]

... You have to promise to hear me out and not get mad.

[@dimentiosservant]

"...No!"

[@lukebarroso449]

Happy Resurrection Day everyone! God bless you all! ✝️

[@bathtubmeggee7751]

He is risen!

[@jisreading]

​@@bathtubmeggee7751He is risen indeed!

[@Enbi_bitch2]

​@@bathtubmeggee7751*rizzen

[@Monkey_man_the_great]

The king has risen.

[@Loner_Ken]

"No sir, it got up and flew upwards to the sky."

[@ghost_anna_reads787]

George Carlin: it just got up an walked away

[@jordanhunter3375]

...It got up and walked away?

[@jordanhunter3375]

George Carlin: See, it even sounds crazy when you say it. I'll be in my room.

[@bigyoshi5170]

Jesus was a gamer all along and he respawned

[@zackwheeler5031]

Lol love this guys finesse with the awkward humor

[@Joi_to_da_World]

That Iconic time the romans coined the phrase, " it didn't just get up an walk away."😂

[@ColtonRMagby]

Guard: Actually, it did. Boss: *Faints*

[@Alice.Morningstar]

He didnt just, "get up" and "walk away" now did he? The Guard: Weeelll.......about that.....

[@net_spider]

"You're telling me we have a zombie on our hands?! Just wandering the country side?! No! No, don't tell anyone else. It would only cause a panic. No... just tell people he rose up and... went home... We have to take care of this quietly and find the undead son of a B before he eats someone."

[@WTM3655]

Nah the guards went and knocked on their commanders door an hour later pamphlets in hand full on holy rollin' "Hello sir and good day to you have you met Jesus yet? I have some literature here..." 😂😂😂

[@gioarevadze2703]

He is risen, Happy easter everyone who is celebrating it today

[@aether1284]

"ooh who's gonna tell him, cause it sure won't be me"

[@user-oq7ly5ve1q]

“You might want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you”

[@KING_RYE1997]

He did walk away and by doing so save us all

[@nikumotosama4075]

Roman soldier: "Well..... about that"

[@zaytheproreal3706]

“it might seem crazy what I’m bout to sayy…”

[@TigerTrainer]

I like the fact he has a convincing looking sword and togas, but chose to use a filter for the helmet.

[@jonahingram3496]

“Funny story really” some roman soldier

[@irontemplar6222]

I feel bad for those soldiers on guard. No one is going to believe them XD

[@Nunya-qz6fc]

The cackle that came from me ensuing the awkward silence

[@endbearplayz8852]

The Roman guard: Yeah, about that-

[@Unknown13thorder]

Damn the amount of ways to say yes lol

[@UltraTtrpger]

"It didn't just get up and walk away!" Well, you see, about that........

[@austinbutcher8106]

God: you fools you fell for one of the classic blunders

[@ranwolf76]

Soldier: Now, hear me out...

[@theghosthour9682]

I wouldn’t be surprised if they ate him to get powers and just hid that fact by saying he walked away. And if you think I’m insane people used to eat random mummies to the point that they’re rare now. Look it up

[@sevengemsstudios9262]

"Well, now that you mention it..."

[@reaganlpeterson]

I thought they were planning on saying they slept and it got stolen.

[@WONDERBUBBLESTUDIOS]

Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to present a joke 2000 years in the making

[@anez1266]

Roman: Soldier! Soldier wakes up: What? Roman: Where's Jesus' body? Soldier: It's inside the tomb. You know behind the big bolder. Roman: You were supposed to stand watch and make sure that his body stayed there. Soilder: And that's what I'm doing Roman: Oh really? So go and see if he's still there Soilder salutes: Yes sir! The soldier looks in shock that the bolder was moved and quickly goes inside the tomb only to see that the body of Jesus Christ is gone. Soilder comes out with a panic look: I see the problem Roman: OH, DO YAH?!

[@n1t-m1n103]

Underrated comment 🤣

[@xChaosFlower]

Happy easter 😂

[@TheTrueKingofDRAGONS100]

Is it just get up and walk away Well about that

[@user-ff1le1ru8l]

He ascended into heaven

[@Wrench42069]

"U-uh yeah about that"

[@Vaas3867]

“About that…..”

[@featherypenguin6308]

Rex chilling in the background

[@tyrongkojy]

Kinda surprised you don't own a Roman helm.

[@TheMythologyGuy1]

What are you talking about? It’s right there in the video

[@tyrongkojy]

And made of the bounciest, floatiest materials ever.@@TheMythologyGuy1

[@WillSolaceIsASwiftie]

Why did I randomly notice TSATS in the background- ahhh I love that book sm

[@thomaswilson4127]

Jesus pulled a Deadpool 💀.

[@Voraphiel]

About that.... We were kinda busy when all of the other tombs opened at the same time, and everyone just walked right out soo...

[@calvinsharlow1440]

If I was the car that saw Jesus just walk out of there I would quit

[@johnathonbrewer3840]

Well actually… yes, yes it did.

[@davis9502]

I remember reading that the guard died

[@EtronX348]

Well, it did get up...😅😅

[@shadowofseattle1338]

He didn't rise... he was devoured. He was taken whole from his crypt and consumed. There is a historic precedent for the consumption of god-flesh And Catholic tradition regularly indulges in the ritualistic consumption of the flesh of their God via transubstantiation

[@frantisekvrana3902]

That... makes a suspicious amount of sense.

[@akshaaynair7912]

"It didnt just get up and walk away now did it" "You're gonna laugh"

[@genesismultiverse4896]

Jesus: oh hey guys i forgot i had to tell you i am alive so you won't be confused and don't worry i forgive you Romans: ahhhhhhhhhhh

[@skits_3d824]

Centerian: About that.....😅

[@BrandonAdams-ce5qh]

Goofy on a boy that's exactly what it is

[@MovieFan1912]

Roman solider: Actually…

[@johnmabe3496]

I was gonna give you the guesses but you got it in the second one.

[@The_new_gamer.]

Tks -one of the romans that saw jesus walk away

[@SDarkfire500]

Fun fact, the Romans did an investigation, and the officer who led the investigation converted to Christianity and became the apostle that replaced Judas.

[@journaljonathan]

What happened in the tomb: *aztec bgm turn on Angel: AWAKEN MY LORD! => -Joshua, son of Joseph- Jesus standing, menacing

[@justabrokezombie6252]

*Ayayayayyyyyyyyyyy*

[@UTOPIA_XZ]

He gets home Wife "hey honey how was work?" Him "...ummm... well you know that guy who was all dead and stuff with the big boulder and whatnot?" Wife "yeah what about it?" Him "he uhhh... isn't as dead as he was before"

[@guardianm4browning111]

Happy Easter everyone! He is risen

[@connorgraves2869]

Get up and walked away

[@sonofcronos7831]

I mean the same thing happened with Heracles, Asclepius and Castor so he would not think is weird.

[@ThebigChunghus]

I guess god gave him a rebirth token

[@loganmarissink4993]

I like to CT-7569 (aka Rex ) helmet in the background.

[@MarbasDarkness]

I like how he’s using AI now

[@ericday2243]

I’m still confused how the bunny got thrown into all of this

[@frantisekvrana3902]

Perhaps as a burnt offering to Bakchus, in order to borrow the power to conjure wine.

[@ReligiousFanboy]

It must have been an act of God.

[@whonameanimations7598]

Sir mr president funny valentine stole the body ._.

[@MongooseKingOfTheWastelands]

The roman guard story is actually highly contested and is obviously a later addition to deal with certain criticisms of the story and deal with factuality and realism. Ironically none of which it solves.

[@Robert_Rankin]

Who's gonna tell him 😂

[@seanmalloy0528]

Soldier: "Well, here's the thing,..."(If you've ever seen the series "Becker" you might get this)

[@afreakaboucher1316]

Happy Easter 🐇 🥚 bun and 🧀

[@user-sk3ir1gh4j]

Me- u just said what he did 😂😂😂😂😂

[@bluedragoncl3333]

Haha.

[@Xxstevo69xX]

I love this joke its in good taste. Happy Resurrection day!

[@csab8642]

...someone wanna tell him?

[@8Element6]

thats exactly what it did

[@GoofyAhOklahoma]

It was actually Jewish guards who guarded the tomb, not Romans. When Jesus resurrected, the guards immediately told the Sanhedrin what happened. The Sanhedrin protected them and gave them money to say that Jesus was still dead.

[@blindboi3477]

Actually He did. Lol

[@WHOOOSHXDOfficial]

Jesus isn’t mythology it is the truth. If it was mythology the disciples would have not died brutal ways for him (martyrs)

[@numbers4b]

Happy Easter

[@Red_Lotus97]

you should do the rest of the 5 elders in one piece like the ushi oni

[@krispah100]

Well remember them saying he is the son of God I think they had a point

[@Ashe_2076]

“Well it didn’t just get up and walk away now did it?” Roman soldier: well…funny thing you should say that 😅

[@belgiumcomics2537]

If The Walking Dead tv show or comic books already existed back than the resurrection would have caused a mass panick.

[@greenmachine3723]

What are they going to do jesus recharged his holy magic and could make them blind and or paralysed

[@Johnathan443]

Who’s gonna tell him?

[@mudpie6927]

Funny you should say walking away...

[@You.Matter.To.Him.]

Happy easter

[@khartog01]

What is the Roman version of an article 15?

[@osirisadonai6281]

Just say April Fools he'll just think it was a prank. 😅🎉

[@KingNazaru]

That wasn’t invented yet.

[@Matt_Underwood]

Reminds me of that episode of Drake and Josh when they got stuck in that treehouse😂😂😂 Real ones know exaclty what I am talking about

[@There-are-graphic-novels]

But it did 💀💀💀

[@SmollRuby]

Jesus was the first walking dead

[@HellFilms1974-cz4kg]

Roman soldier: Sir, he flew away. Captain of the Roman soldiers: He's nailed to a cross. How the f*** did he fly in the sky? Roman soldier.The Sun made a beautiful light, and his body was gone.

[@abdullahhafez9863]

.....yes actually

[@Ollieh2012]

About that…

[@godzillakingofthemonsters54]

Soldier: As a matter of fact... Jesus: Hey Guys! Romans: Aaaaah! ZOMBIE!