The Roommates Talk The 6 Types Of Women, Honest Advice for Men, Mature Conversations + More

This week on the podcast Hafeez and Chris discuss the 6 Types of Women, Mature Conversations, Honest Advice for Men and more.
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The Roommates Podcast is a late-night conversation taking you behind the scenes of “becoming” featuring all the interesting people, perspectives, and conversations you’d experience on the way. The Roommates brand of conversation is entertainment like a standup, educational like a TED talk and enlightenment like a sermon.
The Roommates have been featured by The Atlantic, Houston Chronicle, Houstonia Magazine, Houston Style Magazine, and The National Alliance of Mental Illness. They were also featured on OWN Network’s show The Book of John Gray Season 2.
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[@ScaryToRemarry]

I wish women knew this: a man doesn’t care how much money you make, degrees you have, how big the house, or kind of car you drive. A man will go wherever he’s valued. If he doesn’t feel valued by you, he will look for that woman who values him.

[@ameliap413]

And I wish more men knew that women have been TRAINED (by society, culture, media) to go after men who devalue them. Confident women are revolutionary and relationship flaws aren't coincidental.

[@Misssixty510]

In my experience men of means do care about these things.

[@chalanttracks4668]

Agreed. I think it’s women who over compensate by being the man they want.

[@zero1188]

@@ameliap413 they havent really been trained, its more like the best qualities women are attracted to are found in the worse men.

[@TuffLuv1984]

As much as they complain about alimony and divorce settlements they should if they were logical.

[@andthatisTricemakeuphairlife]

LMBOO I was screaming this whole episode , laughing so hard. But loved the dialogue. As a woman I watch because I appreciate the male perspective. Good one guys!

[@bopmeup7046]

andthatisTrice do you have any female outlets similar to this one, so us men can go get a valid female perspective ?

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

you're welcome

[@esthersaintil111]

Yeah I agree

[@SlimDaddy9]

@@bopmeup7046 There is one that I can think of. I'll find it and post a link to her talk. brb...

[@bopmeup7046]

@@SlimDaddy9 appreciate that

[@kashifsmith4037]

The type: Career focused Cathy: 10:35 Youthful Yvette: 34:04 Character flaw Cynthia: 41:43 Married to Jesus Marry: 50:10 Damaged Daisy: 1:05:44 Heartbreak Heather: 1:15:00

[@shadex3736]

Give this person a medal!!!!!

[@joyokere2613]

Thank you

[@caitlinmontgomery917]

This is a great conversation. However, when it comes to a difficult past, there are two kinds of people - the people who are self-aware and working on healing, and the people who are not. The person who is not willing to work on themselves, or doesn't see their wounds, cannot be helped. But the person who is actively doing the healing in therapy, and is self-aware, can absolutely have a healthy and loving relationship.

[@kirbyaugustine761]

True indeed

[@tipsy09]

Unless you realize this at 30 and no woman will want you right now

[@aritalkstech]

Good point. The way they were joking about the childhood trauma made me a little discouraged. I can't change what happened to me but I can continually heal myself with help. @The Roommates how do you suggest bringing this up when dating bc I see a lot of high quality men call out childhood trauma as a deal breaker.

[@Naturegirlz14]

Unresolved trauma will always manifest in the people you date. Which is why I'm am a huge advocate for mental health and therapy. Therapy is like a physical for your mental state. Even if there's nothing severely wrong, therapy is for everyone.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

Thank you for sharing

[@jrodd05]

DOOD!!!! Finally someone said it. People will have issues due to unresolved trauma like you said, but once we become adults, it is our responsibility to overcome those traumas and not bring them in a relationship/ marriage. Granted, there will be triggers that can be done by our SO BUT that is why communication is so important

[@Naturegirlz14]

@@jrodd05 #Facts 🖨

[@vanessam.2553]

I completely agree. When i watch a lot of videos ppl make it seem like only women have experienced trauma. Ive come across so many men and women a like that havent addressed their past yet

[@Naturegirlz14]

@@vanessam.2553 Me too. So many children who fell through the cracks and had to grow claws to survive.

[@benjidorvilus6717]

6. Character Flaw Cynthia - Far more attitude and drama than they are worth. They were spot on, it's a thin line between love and hate. They'll hate just as passionately as they'll love you. In my opinion, they usually need a man who can be extremely calm regardless of how they behave. That would cause them to see how crazy they really are, because they can't blame him. 5. Career Focused Cathy - Most likely to leave for any little reason. Standards are high because they reached such heights, without realizing most of those men are either taken or not wanting to deal with their attitude and lack of attentiveness. In my opinion, they need a man who's more successful than they are, or much more strong willed. 4. Heartbreak Heather - Will always compare you to her ex(es). Never dealt with the pain from being left, so she'll complain and nag you to death. You could do 6 things right, but as soon as you have one slip up, she wigs out. In my opinion, they need a man who'll put her in her place and tell her to stop comparing him to other men. 3. Married to Jesus Mary - As they said, usually very feminine.Well, that's how they present themselves. Most likely to look down on men in general. Oftentimes either sexually repressed, or a reformed sexual deviant. In my opinion, they need a man who's a strong leader. 2. Youthful Yvette - Either very young, or someone who refuses to grow up mentally. Typically the party girl. If she's older, there is a high chance she fears getting older because she believes she'll get less male attention. In my opinion, they need a man that won't put up with the childish attitude. 1. Damaged Daisy - Literally lives in the past. She's usually been hurt by someone she trusted in her youth, typically a care giver. Her self esteem is the lowest of the six categories. In my opinion, they need a good man, someone who's stable. All of this is my personal opinion. I chose my number one because I believe they'll be the ones who will love the hardest if you're patient with her.

[@theworldofblue4385]

On the point that men go to work to escape and that you can usually see when a women is going through something emotional is one of the biggest finesses I’ve witnessed. Both are doing the same thing, the only difference is that men deal with emotions through micro aggressions, and aggressive attitudes in the work place, then we usually define that as being assertive. This is false, all that aggressive energy, shouting and micro aggression are emotional responses to stressful situations. Men are as emotional as women.

[@madinkcole9989]

Thee Shane Blue bruh🤔

[@SincerelyYona]

That's a good point. Guys are Dating Women are Waiting. This is top 3 best episode for me.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

thank you

[@moonkoral1009]

I had a bad ass childhood 😭 I thought y’all were about to go in. But, I appreciate y’all adding that without work they’re toxic. Self development is in your control even if your childhood wasn’t.

[@sherinewilliams290]

Oh Lord... I fall into at least 4 of those categories. You guys are really calling us women out!! Keep up the great work.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

lol we doing this out of love

[@suki-em5oy]

Nobody probably will see this but I just dropped my first video 🤞🏾 show some love kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmWnnpiEaa-Io7M

[@francenealexandre7904]

@@TheRoommatesPodcast LOVING Y'ALL FOR IT💯💋

[@vxgasworld]

I’m only 20 minutes in but I already adore this channel . One thing I noticed right away is how you refer to us as women , and not females. This is very incite full

[@suryasongs]

Here's my summary. Read it in 10 mins. Hit the like button for saving you 80 mins ;) 1. Career-Focused Women: * Mom was dependent on men * Controlling dad * Women see that, so naturally they don’t want that for themselves * Parents struggle to make ends meet - she is the oldest, so she has to step up * Men hurt women, leave them - they don’t have anything left * She is stuck financially * Woman can’t leave her man because she doesn’t have anything * Parents don’t want daughters to ever be in that situation. They focus on career first, then worry about the man * Or, parents are good enough. So, there’s pressure from them * Too much time in school * Don’t have time to date * But, have time to date now that you’re 30 Why is this an issue? * Men are focused on their girls, while also working on their career Women: * Women push away men * Don’t have the time, relationships are a distraction * Focusing on school etc. * Women bring their issues to work * Men work to escape from their stuff * Women can’t separate aspects of their life easily * Men do that better * Men don’t care about how much money you make * They are not young anymore * Women look for men >= themselves * There are fewer men at certain ages. They re already taken * They were doing both, the guys aren’t waiting * Those guys have options too * Women don’t put in the same effort into the relationships, as they put in their careers * They don’t respect men because they are not as successful as they are. They are too much pride in themselves to respect anyone not close to their level * The initial respect isn’t there, men not at their level simply don’t get the time of their day * Very masculine women - they respect very strong masculine men - someone who is very similar * The career-focused men who get with career-focused women, they are going to be the power couples. They probably won’t have kids, but they do have a flashy life * They don’t have enough time to spare with men. Career is your main focus. * Job > Guy, if it comes to it * They are competing with other guys at the law firm. They need to put in the hours * She has to respect you for it to succeed. Will she respect you if something happens to you? You lose your job/you don’t make as much money etc. Will she ride or exit? 2. Youthful immaturity: * Just embarrasses you * People lose respect for the man * She is immature because she is young, not because she is flawed * She will grow out of it eventually * She has childlike behavior * Not similar interests, not at the same level * Disconnect in the conversations * She does things wrong without knowing it * Experimenting drugs, and what not * She’ll hurt you like a child * It is tough to argue with her * She is never wrong. She cannot see herself wrong. So into herself * They block you on the apps, and then come back later * She doesn’t know what sorry is * Doesn’t take advice well because she feels like it’s controlling * A lot of physical stimulation, not a lot of emotional stimulation * You’re dealing with a teenage child. You’ll have fun with her though 3. Character Flaw: * Your possessions are at the most risk * Your car, your apartment - everything is at risk * You messed up, I’m gonna make you feel how I feel * She cusses you out when she’s mad. She’ll say things that will hurt you * When you confide in her, she says, “When you want to commit suicide, go find another bitch”, while you’re still at the restaurant * Brings up stuff from the past, which is completely her fault * She feels strongly. Love is strong, hate is stronger. Love/hate is a thin line * Ride or die kind of chick * Most sneaky, you won't know she has a character flaw until it comes out * Scratching your tires, keying your car, putting your apartment on fire 4. Married to Jesus: * Their love for God makes them love you less * She doesn’t respect many men - unless they are the pastor - because others can’t lead her spiritually * She believes God wants her to be like that * They push away men who don’t fit their bill - virgin, no porn, does a lot of volunteering and such * They get church busy - busy all the time * They are submissive, kind, caring and sweet - you’d want them to raise your children * You’ll never get close to them though - you can never prove yourself as a man to them * They are rigid sexually * They can’t transition from sex is bad to have sex all the time with your husband now * You can’t get with her, hard to date her * You need to be with her in church * They tend to make a brother out of you * They finally settle with “niggas”. The masculine guys * Their character is great though. You’d want them. But, they don’t give men the chance * The men have to then deal with women below them (that they think they don’t deserve). Those women won’t earn the wife badge ever. He’d wait for the right woman that he deserves * As they become older, it’s too late * They look down upon a lot of guys. They have too much pride * 5. Damage from childhood/ broken homes: * Her issues are structural, right from childhood * Daddy/mommy/brother/sister issues * The issues have a ripple effect * She is a product/prisoner of her past * It’s never your fault, she always has a problem that has something to do with her past * Whatever you do/say reminds her of her past * Afraid of commitment because they’ve seen their parents’ divorce * Single mother * Don’t want to have kids * Afraid that she might end up in the same situation * I don’t want to be my mom * It keeps haunting them - but the past is there, it’s not going away * The person you hurt them will always be around her * Mom/ dad will be there * They won’t resolve it with their mom * She goes off on you as if you are the person that hurt her * You can’t help her. She needs therapy for those deep issues * She has good highs - she is sweet and fun * But when she’s dealing with something - she is hard to deal with * You are her happiness, but without you, she is damaged/ messed up * You’re the drug for her * After you see that behavior, you’d want to get the weight off your shoulders * You are a superhero for her, but when bad things happen, the blame’s on you * That’s when they will start abusing you * It’s hard for the guy to take multiple conflicting identities so quick. Takes a toll on the guy * They lean on you to be the new light in their life * They are looking for someone to fill in that void * Sexual abuse from family is a nuanced topic * Ask about their childhood * Problem doesn’t get fixed but gets masked by you * She should already be happy, not because you’re there 6. Damaged from past relationships * The runners that have the Great Wall of china * They talk down on men. They are unhappy about men * They create a bubble so they don’t need a man - like a career, pet, friends, just "going on dates” which they use as a defense * They just want to be wined and dined * Hurt by one or two guys in a big way * Most common in women * Every human’s heart can only take so many failures * It’s like breaking a crystal with a hammer - depends on how hard she’s been hit, how fragile she is and such * They have a story in their head * When the guy lets them down, their narrative about the guy is burst and they just can’t deal with it * She is resentful towards men. They are very cynical * Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Don’t want marriage, don’t want kids, don’t need a man and such * She pushes you away but wants you to come closer to her * She’ll ignore your call, and get mad when you don’t call her back * She needs assurance so much. "How bad do you want me?” She wants to be so safe * She wants you to care more than she cares about you. Just for insurance purposes * It’s just toxic to have these women * It puts you in a weak, needy position * You live in the past man’s shadow * It’s always about the guy that did something to them * You can never be good enough for them * They get triggered easily, they go back into their bubble real quick * She can cut you off the next day, even if you’ve been dating long enough * She’s ready to quit it * You’ll never feel at ease/confident in the relationship * You’re always walking on eggshells * It’s never comfortable coz you have to be 100 all the time * Pro: She’ll do whatever it takes to keep you, if you pass the test/scale the wall * This is in 90% of the women. You can’t avoid them Ranking: The worst to the best: Character flaw Damaged from childhood Married to Jesus Career-focused women Damaged from relationships Youthful immaturity You’d have to deal with a combination sometimes Your capacity to deal/handle something is going to be different than some other guy You might actually love the drama So, pick your poison.

[@iamaneika4703]

OMG, thanks for this!!

[@badichinniah3804]

Thank you sooo much!

[@joknowspod5330]

Thanks!

[@AnarchyNYC]

Thank bro!!!

[@tipsy09]

Or just watch the video at 2x and cut the video time in half

[@blackgurltech]

I think you guys should give visibility to the high value woman who is healed from trauma snd heart break, self-actualized, has high emotional intelligence, and understands how to balance her masculine and feminine energy. Out of all the types you didn’t let it be known that she exists and is an option.

[@deekayeth]

Balance is everything.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

exactly

[@anbillie]

The bible says to love God with all your heart more than anything. So I'm confused. I'm not religious. But a woman who claims to put God first is just being a believer. Of course she should love God more. That's what you signed up for when you date a real Christain.

[@xxxgeorgyxxx]

They never said what a Christian woman believes is wrong but for someone who isn’t Christian I could understand why this would be a problem- hence why “don’t be unequally yoked”

[@anbillie]

@@xxxgeorgyxxx The point is they claim to be Christian. It makes sense a Christian girl would have huge standards. She is making someone her spiritual and physical head. Also divorce is seen as an unfavorable option. So everything is a biggest consequence.

[@xxxgeorgyxxx]

anbillie OOOH sorry didn’t have context for this 😂 didn’t realise they were Christian! You are very correct

[@GenuinelyMorgan]

Damn you'll went ham on me 🥺 Career Cathy at your service 🤭👩🏽‍🎓🤦🏽‍♀️ It's too funny going through a 5 year breakup I've started to realize my Career Cathy & Damaged Daisy faults & have been working on them. I like hearing your perspectives, especially as guys, I don't always agree but I love listening here & there 😊💕

[@deedcg577]

I’m not going to lie I laughed through a couple of these cause I was looking at myself 😂

[@dasminndavis6838]

Right like yup been there done that 😂

[@GoldenGraham25]

I love it when men open up and talk like this.... especially the brothers!

[@zero1188]

damaged from past heart breaks is all women over the age of 20. thats pretty much like the least/ best case scenario to deal with

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

thank you for sharing

[@thegoddess7297]

A lot of these are simply stages of a woman’s life. True, these can be toxic but I don’t think they are accurately portraying some of them. Especially the one about childhood trauma. Like yes, it’s very unhealthy and it’s one of the toughest to overcome but it’s not always bad. Everyone has baggage to some degree, but I think you just have to be able to weed out the ones who’s working on lightening their load or not.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

thank you for sharing

[@SD-ci6kz]

Yea they really missed the mark on a lot

[@bella-spicceee4741]

Omg I was thinking, they have the complete wrong tittle. There are stages and these men don’t know a lot. They only understand the effects of traumatic events that occur with a woman’s life. They need to educate themselves and stop leaning on opinions.

[@sharonjohns1686]

Perfectly said. This show was great and very helpful. But there is a very important level to this conversation missing. The top level woman is a womam with baggages and may be all those thing they say but has grown through it, healing and working on herself. This type of woman for tge very things shes been through has a lot to offer but will only be recognised and benefit a grown mature man of character and a man of God. They will need to bring mature men in here to address as this is a crucial part of the coversation missing. The likes of RC Blakes or Casie or even devon Franklin will explain this very well to the audience

[@bella-spicceee4741]

Johnny Cage Wow, I had to clap. Couldn’t have said it any better. They didn’t even use any empirical studies to validate or extend their points. It’s sad to see a lot of men listening to these boys.

[@elizabethbc8293]

I'm an attorney - I was lucky enough to date some great guys and met my husband in law school. I told him up front I wanted to be a full-time mom at some point. So that is what happened- married at 27, full-time career until 31, then became a mom- you can do it both if you don't waste time and pick a spouse with the same values. But we have our issues! Just make sure you are on the same side of major values from the get-go.

[@eb4478]

Chris always has a positive attitude and outlook towards women and relationships. Its refreshing to hear!

[@natashagarcia491]

Even as a female your podcast helps me understand the male psyche and the male perspective. I love hearing pretty much everything you both have to say! Keep uploading the dope content! Girls get over yourselves & try looking at things from a different perspective 💗

[@CareerCraft56]

Im the career type of women. Everything you said its true. Thank you for this...

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

glad you watched

[@danis.5040]

I'm 38, and still learned a few new perspectives with this episode. Great content guys!

[@blackgurltech]

What’s interesting is that a woman can be in more than one of these categories at the same time or different moments in life. Im always going to be the Career woman, and I’ve also bean heartbroken and damaged. 5 good years of therapy moved me into healed and healthy.

[@kimberlymagwaza6998]

Chris’s laugh is so contagious

[@munix9351]

Exactly. Human beings are emotionally beautiful. Women often feel their expression of emotion surpasses that of men. We negate the gift that GOD BLESSED men with, Men are very clear with how they feel, as a woman we have to learn to shut up and just observe. If you see your partner is stressed, sad or perplexed asking him 'are you okay' waste's time and can push him deeper in darkness. Men will reply 'yes' the majority of the time. Not because they don't love us, but because they are processing the issue, pain or problem. As a little girl, I always knew when my dad was stressed. He would kiss me on my cheek but not hug me. Every time my mum cooked Jerk chicken and rice, it was always for my dad because he was stressed ( haha) We need to learn the art of conversation and how to ask men questions that draw out their heart. Men don't engage naturally the same way as females. If you see your partner is stressed, sad or perplexed asking him 'are you okay' waste's time and can push him deeper in darkness. Men will reply 'yes' the majority of the time. Not because they don't love us, but because they are processing the issue, pain or problem. As women the problem is we go into the masculine, alpha female mode and try to fix him. What they need from us is for us to create a peaceful space for him to work out and process the issues himself. A simple issue easily escalates into the man not responding the way she wants. She becomes cold and defensive. Starts being moody then the whole household becomes miserable. Dear ladies, our job is to rest, relax create peace not fix a man into peace. Try this instead: When you know work, family, finances are stressing him out: Words-"my love, my heart feels encouraged to watch you navigate this situation "- kiss him. then walk away Actions: Wear something nice and spray half of your perfume bottle on your body..lool. the whole bottle sis haha- stop this 'little bit' business Cook: Make him a cocktail he likes When he starts acting moody randomly: Words: " my heartbeat, I want to make time to listen to your heart, when you are ready to, let me know" Words:" I appreciate the shoes you bought me last Christmas. they make me feel sexy when I wear them" Words: " Thank you for helping me fix the cupboard last month. it made it easier for me to organise my books" Action: Choose a movie that he loves to watch, sit next to him smelling fresh and SHUT UP! haha Cook: Fill the fridge with his favourite snacks GOD BLESS ALL MY BLACK KINGS, Love is real, I know! I was raised by one:-)

[@lordgully5951]

hello queen 👸🏽 a Queen’s response indeed 💯 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾.. literally experiencing this as I’m reading it, and my lady did both. She asked if I’m okay which I didn’t have a problem with because she cares about me, but afterward, made me laugh and is cooking for me rn. Definitely a spot on comment 👌🏾

[@munix9351]

@@lordgully5951 Aww bro! Bless wifey. God keep you both. Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it.

[@sun-801]

Thank you Queen 👑♥️

[@zztops3739]

Oooh my gosh. I have learned so much about myself from this. Wowowow. I needed this. Thank you. New subscriber.

[@nay9nay]

I was offended at the first cold reading of the "6 types," but this is truth!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂 Women do feel men are distractions...and we are aware of our emotions and the attachment that occurs so school/career becomes #1 and yes when we are ready we're looking for the match that's already taken or won't settle down. Then Married to Jesus Mary ends up with a "niggah" 🥴I got weak 🤣😂🤣🙆🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️🤣😂. Y'all were spot on with these types and explanations.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@TheCinderellaPrincess]

I'm a pastors daughter and my love for God makes me love people more. Many of these standards for the generalized Married to Jesus girl isn't me. (This is to show men out there that all these girls have their own personality and thoughts that live on a spectrum. Don't be afraid to approach a church girl) For instance, I don't care if my husband is a virgin, if he is we can learn together, if he isn't, he can teach me. Sex isn't a bad thing. I just would prefer to explore it with one person that I care deeply about. Additionally, my standards when it comes to men has to do with their quality of character and intelligence. Spirituality is somewhat important because it is significant to me, but that can develop overtime. I don't want to be pushing him where he doesn't want to go. All I need to see if that you put in some effort to be close to God. It should be natural. Overall, I just want my man to be a good mesh with me and my family. From looking at my elder siblings relationship, a person from church isn't always the best. I rather look for partners I can build a relationship with and share some of my values in or out of church.

[@EphesianRose]

Exactly. Married to Jesus Mary doesn’t expect nor necessarily want a picture perfect guy with a theology degree, in church 24-7 - but it’s a problem if the guy hasn’t prioritized God in his life. And God is not rigid! He opens the door for more adventure, risk, and possibility, not less.

[@SD-ci6kz]

I feel like you guys were speaking from insecurity of not living up to your own religion and devout women bringing those feelings up in you. I mean you're telling men to avoid women who post bible quotes? Of all things to go off, that wouldn't be the indicator of what women is performing her religion wrong.

[@HelenSincerely]

I think they are talking about the overreligious, judgemental type. I think we all know her. I've been her😁

[@SD-ci6kz]

Abigail Lolade they were at first but then they starting mixing in with regular devout girls. Things that weren’t overzealous but things that made them feel insecure because of their own lack of discipline. I feel like when it comes to talking to women about how to follow God and also accept a man in your life that is very nuanced and should come from a theologian or atleast a woman who also practices.

[@ESimms]

Very good episode fellas.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

thank you

[@alexandruhh09]

The Christian woman a little off with all respect.. She respects all men but who is right for her will be someone who also has learned what it means to love God, naturally those men begin to want to lead spiritually. Goes hand in hand. We all have a past but we believe in the opposite, it isn’t shameful, it’s actually amazing to hear from others on what God has healed you from and has shown you in from your past experiences. She believes in God’s word on how he design men and women emotionally and in all aspects, also what to look for in qualities as it states in the Bible but these qualities come from the results of when we have an active relationship with God so we are aware of those, as Christian men are with us. So the phrase of saying “God wants me to” be with a man that loves God, makes sense to us. Extra activities don’t matter, or if ur pastor or volunteering.. Is your relationship with God visible though and are you serving God in some form. All this is from desire.. we don’t do these things because we feel we need to in order to please God. But if you dread going to church or any activities, it’s because your love for God isn’t there yet to want to be there in his presence with others. Sex isn’t evil, God created it in its place for protection, if it doesn’t remain in its place then it does harm to us spiritually and all around. Church men aren’t pansys, they’re very wise and attractive from all wisdom they not only have from the world but now have received from God. We give chances but you must prepare yourself with God alone for the time to join with someone, as the woman does too. We all carry baggage and we don’t want to carry that into our relationships. Also that time with God alone is where it all begins! Unfortunately people or churches can represented it differently, not going according to his word, we aren’t perfect. But its not about a religion, it’s about building the relationship with God. ♥️✨

[@TuffLuv1984]

Men “keep women in back pocket” but women don’t do that with men. If we are dating you, we see long term. If we don’t fux with you... you’re a friend at best. That is why women side of a relationship is more draining. We do more. Way more. Relationships benefit men more than women. It is also why women are more likely to end relationships. Get it?!

[@imperialrf4058]

I get it, but I disagree.

[@Eziopct]

Nah that’s subjective

[@daniturnr859]

Nah that ain’t it

[@Islander2000]

Everybody likes to think they have it worse. Relationships are draining for both. Just cos men don't talk about it as much doesn't mean they ain't going through it. Everybody benefits in different ways. A sign you're in a good relationship is you both feel you're partner doing their best to bring benefit to you.

[@Heyu7her3]

Research shows married men live longer than single men. Single women live longer than married women. It benefits men more.

[@marquesridley2464]

Man this is true, I had a woman that was a Career Cathy, Damaged Daisy, & Heartbreak Heather..most women these days are in at least 2 categories. I invested a lot of time and energy. Quarantine put us in a stress test and we didn’t make it through

[@queenjo925]

I think this episode was great, the only issue or realization that I had listening is that men really have “the audacity”... lol... There was a point made that there are guys that feel they “deserve” church girl even though she doesn’t feel they’re equally hooked, he wants a chance; BUT this same guy, feels that all the other girls who are “ride or die”, “fun”, and jump through hoops, are girls they “settle for” because they initially think they’re “beneath” them.... 🥴

[@psoozan9648]

LOLLLL so damn true when they talked about "deserving" a church girl I was like whattt?? so you guys wanna date around and sleep with whoever but you think that girl should still want you? and you deserve HER? LOL

[@shireybryant4000]

This is one of THE best videos! Thanks for sharing! That recording was HILARIOUS 😂

[@saghaarii1136]

This was a good talk. Towards the end - ya'll nailed some of them. The career driven one I wanted to input some of my viewpoints, as the female on the other side. I have dated men who have been extremely career driven - had it all, good looks, money, well read (lol) except for the depths to him that was unavailable to me because he couldn't provide that 'home' or comfort of stability because home to him was his work space. When you guys spoke on the idea that women tend to wait until they attain success then go into a relationship because they can't do both, I don't necessarily think this as a bad thing. Men tend to try to do it all, and come out short which ends up toxic behavior that then could turn into this nasty cycle of hurting women - women having trust issues because of the 'unsolved trauma'. For example ya'll mentioned that a man will go into the office to take off the heat or get his mind off the at home drama - that isn't a proper coping mechanism. Yes women feel and we feel deeply but we seek to find a resolution through talking things through, to hopefully grow out of that issue. While that isn't the easier way its a more effective form. Just some of my thoughts while I was listening to this portion of the conversation. x

[@jhonnycultura4455]

its called man cave, men do it, its normal.. he just wants space to comback and be ready. recharging thats what we do or hanging out with other men

[@moneybags999]

@saghaarii I agree. Ok, so these guys are dating women but kind of relationships are they having? Are these women that they are dating with the intent of marriage or are these women they keep around for sexual purposes? Dating has a broad meaning. Also, could it be that "I need to focus on my career/education right now instead of dating" is simply a nice way to say I'm not interested in dating YOU? When there is a will there's a way. 😏 I believe a woman would date a guy she was into, despite her schedule, if she really wanted to.

[@moneybags999]

@@jhonnycultura4455 I think it depends on why he's doing to the man cave. Is he going to decompress after a rough day or is he avoiding something? Nothing wrong with unwinding. It's healthy.

[@AnyasHeart]

saghaarii you nailed it! I had a problem with the career driven women analysis too because I remember Heesef saying Asia women start relationships later therefore the divorce rate is lower... so going that route is fine... 34 is still young and perfect age to start dating.

[@saghaarii1136]

AnyasHeart right! and I truly believe that it isn’t until early 30s that we mold ‘into ourselves’

[@hellobreakthrough]

I love your dialogue. Keep sharing the insight!🙌🏽

[@themeechshowpodcast3180]

Great topic!! Love it

[@Zoesstuff]

This was a great, super insightful episode!

[@TheArriella]

Loved this!! This was good insight...Thanks Guys (smile)! One of my favorites thus far.

[@k8tiewarrior539]

I really enjoyed your podcast. I am always looking for materials to help me gain knowledge and understand different perspectives. I am in a journey of understanding myself and healing past trauma. I like what Hafeez said “ structural damages. Being product and prisoner of the past.” I have felt like a prisoner and at some point in my I surrender to the damage my trauma caused. Gratefully, I was blessed with people who have helped me connect the dots to make sense of my toxic behaviors. Some of the people were intentionally helping and some just walked away. But both situations made me dig deeper within to figure out “ why” I struggle in some areas in life. I agree with you, a person with childhood trauma has to want to heal for themselves with the help of therapy, taking time alone, learn new habits and shift their perspectives. Healing is possible. We all have some level of baggage and I think a men has to have the discernment to see a woman for who they are making effort to become and not just judge them base on their past. We can all change if we want to. We can either use our past to make us better or worst. Childhood trauma is deadly if left untreated. I encourage anyone who experience it to see counseling and face your demon. Trust me you will fall in love with yourself in the process😊

[@92Kandee]

Thoroughly enjoyed this video. Good one guys; something, all women need to check out and think about.

[@11281562]

Keep it up guys. Both entertaining and informative every single time ✌🏾

[@mayraguzman9859]

I am a damaged Daisy, I acknowledge and accept that. However, God has really transformed my life. For the past 3 years I’ve grown, matured and taken accountability for my actions. It’s been a tough healing process but I continue to fight and push forward. God has given me strength to accept my pass and learn how to let go. I am tired of being a prisoner. I am tired of being afraid and angry. I desire marriage and a family and I’m no longer afraid. I hold myself to a high standard and I expect a lot from my future spouse. However, the expectations I have for him I also have for myself. I am working on my relationship with God and others, I train at the gym to stay in shape and healthy, I am getting out of debt and investing the rest , I am working on becoming the woman God has created me to be! Y’all it’s tough but pretty darn rewarding!

[@maureenboling_gapeach]

I PEED my pants hearing about girl #2😂😂 and then I couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the way through. I learned a lot about how men see the career girl and how we need show our men the real us underneath which is very grateful , lovie, and beta to our awesome alpha men👌🏻 Just too funny 😄 ! You did answer a few decades old question to us ladies of how the youthful embarrassing girlfriend somehow gets ranked at the top! We didn’t get it. Now I do😂. This was great guys👌🏻 well done and I’m pretty sure I cut some new abs laughing.

[@ray_maestro_]

Great episode.

[@chelseaolsen4179]

Chris’s laugh is infectious.... 🤣. Both of these men have such an interesting perspective. Really enjoyed listening to this and having some moments of self reflection.

[@SNoringbair]

The belly laugh I got from you saying Niggas with such joyful disdain was amazing

[@EA_BLEND]

I was hesitant to watch this video but I needed to watch it for sure. I fall into alot of these categories. Thanks a lot for the dialogue.

[@tirsagarrido2785]

Ay Dios mío. 😂 This episode is my new favorite episode! Had me laughing way to get. 😂 Good one y'all.

[@temiaridegbe6434]

Wow this segment really opened my eyes even more. Good work guys.

[@joannadziokan3267]

I am all those types apart from “married to Jesus” so I have many issues and have been working on them. Vids like this one is very helpful. Thx guys. 😉👍🏻👍🏻

[@nicoco2206]

This was very insightful :)

[@fantasia243645]

51:14 Sounds like you had a personal experience with this type. 🤣 Great show guys.

[@benbenben123ben]

I’m a Christian guy. I’ve been a worship leader in a church for 5 + years. Christian woman still don’t want me. They don’t care about track record. It’s how you can make them look good. I’m like 5’8. Idk, it’s just messed up. I get more married woman interested in me than single women. Isn’t that funny.

[@cherishdeb]

Keep looking for her, she’s out there.

[@benbenben123ben]

Johnny Cage For real. Once I start making some more money (as I get older and more experienced) I’m gunna laugh at how many women will all of the sudden want to be with me. It’s a cruel game. What does a women really add to my life though.

[@benbenben123ben]

Johnny Cage yea, right now, I’m trying to figure out how to make money.

[@DominicaDiva]

Oh dam.... i just got typed and didn't even know i was that type 🤦🏽‍♀️ #Overcompensatingwithcareer. Great talk gentlemen I love it. Can't wait to hear more!! Let's keep the conversation going✊🏽

[@paf2587]

"Got my bags PACKED." 🤣🤣🤣

[@MsIejones]

I really enjoy watching you guys, I really would also like to mention how men take advantage of women that have little to no family, it is easier to take women for granted who are isolated from their loved ones as well. You cannot value another if you have no value in self!!

[@brentonkerr8636]

You guys are speaking to me. Very important lessons from this podcast

[@EmilyRaskett]

This is so helpful for women too to understand where you need healing !

[@Misuneverse]

I honestly feel like experiences humble people. The more life experiences one goes through the more one will be able to relate and understand.

[@hnlhtx5054]

I’m the married to jesus girl and you were so spot on! LOL! Being newly single and have watched your 7 traits video as well, I’m def evaluating myself to be my best self! Thank you!

[@rollingtinfist]

You gents are wise beyond your years. 300% agreed on Career Cathy. Keep bangin’ ✊🏿

[@waterwheeling1761]

This was hilariously informative and interesting 😆

[@carleydavidsmeier5167]

Military women tend to be more career focused as well. This podcast hit home... likeee you guys aren’t wrong.

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

thank you for listening

[@donnaquinlan6530]

Thank you 🙏 learned a lot

[@yashiramarielopez]

I would have liked to see more about how a man and a woman should make time for each other, have a family, and career goals together without having to comprise anything because they are making a joint effort when taking time by pacing the relationship and knowing when to take healthy risks.

[@munix9351]

Well, sis, you may have to wait till Jesus comes for that answer. Everyone has to negotiate and compromise. You can't have everything you want at the same time. I don't know any couple that has a healthy relationship with both individuals achieving career and lifestyle goals at the same time. You got to walk out marriages in stages and chapters. Once a woman is pregnant life looks very different and she has to be wise to make decisions that protect her health and mind.

[@CoCre8ors]

That voice note and your reactions are comedy gold 😂🤣🤣

[@msnicolevickers]

First of all I'd like to say that I enjoy listening to your podcast. It's interesting, refreshing and sometimes entertaining. I appreciate you guys. In reference to women and the 'speghetti syndrome' analogy, I agree with you. It is hard to detach or compartmentalize things especially when things aren't going well on the personal front.

[@AnyasHeart]

That audio at 47:56 gave me life 😂

[@joebermuda6452]

Here’s the thing ladies, I want to kill off this whole “ men are intimidated by career women argument.” Men aren’t intimidated or scared of career women so long as they still carry themselves in a feminine manner and act like a “woman” most career women who are highly successful have a masculine demeanor to them and men don’t like masculine women they like feminine women, that’s the whole point of being a straight male. It’s the same thing when woman are attracted to men who are in their masculine energy, not feminine energy. If a man carries himself like a female, than most women wouldn’t want those type of men either.

[@priscillaoduro4865]

Joe Bermuda true! But don’t forget that there are a small percentage of men who feel intimidated by women who make more than them or are more successful than them.

[@joebermuda6452]

Priscilla Oduro I agree, most aren’t intimidated they are just unattracted

[@vivieni7920]

32:25 I love how he didn't stereotype or generalize right off the bat- I respect that a lot:)

[@kaya_itskaya]

I’m new to your Chanel and I really enjoy your content. The interesting thing is I feel like I’m ALL of them except youthful immaturity 😅 I have come a very long way with my Character Flaws and family forgiveness. Anyways thanks for the good quality content 🙌🏽 Keep going!!

[@shaundavis7705]

I love this podcast

[@sidnistandard60]

Agreed, definitely do one on men too!!

[@justanotherwaver9065]

Y’all on point with the church girl. It’s always the thuggish type or the white guy. And some of the women on this list can be 2 on this list at the same time. But another one I think is a big one too. The daddies girl

[@elizabethbc8293]

You guys are super smart. Keep up the excellent work. I appreciate your bravery in speaking out against powerful, damaging cultural messages.

[@sabineduchard1775]

Women never refuse a man she wants even if shes studying....the school busy thing is a kind way to say im not interested in you...

[@luckielefty7715]

I truly LOVE this podcast.... like I LOVE IT! I’m a woman, and this podcast has taught me so much about men. I love the contrast between Hafeeze (alpha male) and Chris (beta male). Even though they’re different they are the same if that makes sense . It makes for great dialogue. I want to point one thing out for the women who keep saying “I can’t wait for y’all to do the 6 type of men to stay away from”...THIS PODCAST IS FOR MEN!! This isn’t geared towards women .....it’s like we are ease dropping on two homeboys having a conversation...we aren’t supposed to be here in the first place. Listen to understand and not to respond. Take the jewels they’re dropping, and apply them. I think a major problem between men and women is both sides try to get the other side to feel how they feel. That’s never going to happen because Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Ha! I catch myself all the time getting triggered by the things they say but then I have to check myself like.... they’re men 🥴. At BEST we can have mutual respect for one another and try to establish some common ground, but we will never truly understand what it’s like to be the opposite sex. My father told me at a young age “men don’t care how much a woman makes, he cares how she makes him feel” . Thanks fellas 🎉

[@sharonjohns1686]

Very interesting insightful and awesome show. Wow. There is a missing mature perspective to this conversation but you guys are bloody hillarious! I enjoyed this one and learnt from it. Can I be your friend pls 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@eb4478]

I would also like to know what respect is in the eyes of Hafeek. He uses this word greatly. I am curious. Chris is soo right! You can win anyone over..if you are the right person. #SIMPLE Career or not ! #Greatinsight Chris !

[@k9nevienna]

they just two dudes who bought a good camera and microphones and made it, this is so cool

[@kayajackson50]

I have my own complicated category so none of these 6 types describe me. I’ll throw in a #7(which is me): The High Standard Type. I can be hard on myself and others because of my standards. Lots of pros and cons with that.

[@emillyauma2445]

That's my category too. But I found him and married him asap. 🙏

[@madant22]

Yes they totally left out your type the high standards can't find a man picky girl your right. Those type of girls are so common. How can they forget that one.

[@paulkofa3238]

madant22 that lumps in career orientated they said they can’t find a man who makes enough yet meet there physical type

[@madant22]

@@paulkofa3238 facts. they need to be in there as well.

[@belizeanbaby]

Likewise, I got a coworker that got mad & said I'm "too picky" because I turned his : not enough money , 4 kids, 2 previous marriages, ass chasing . I'm what they would call a "89 octane" . 98% of males auto. lose my interest if they have kids already & he got FOUR ,not to mention he's 10yrs older. These males need to do BETTER if they want better as well.

[@dorcaswg5726]

The career one is so true I’m still in college but my parents who are both successful career people told me to date as well as focus on school and career.

[@TheLilMagic_]

This was a good convo. I will do whatever it takes to keep a man if he understands my love language which is quality time and words of affirmation. Even if he playing his video game and I'm on his bed surfing the web on my laptop, I'll enjoy the company of us just chilling.

[@nikkit2393]

This is just like Molly & Andrew in Insecure. Molly is so work-oriented she has to learn how to find that work life balance.

[@michaelnwafor6108]

From Germany 🇩🇪 wonderful 👌🏾

[@moonkoral1009]

Y’all really described me with career Cathy 😭 I feel attacked

[@elainagodbody1128]

Lmao 🤣 I appreciate your channel. It's a real conversation and not woman bashing.

[@shawnwashington1778]

Soooo I’m guilty. Lol 😂 I’m the career woman (I’m a Doctoral student) and technically Married to Jesus Mary. I’m not what you described though, I honestly think men just automatically make assumptions about me because I love Jesus and since they had “bad experiences” with Jesus lovers in the past they ascribe beliefs/ traits to me that I may not even agree with. 🤷🏾‍♀️... my last boyfriend was a thug 😂 you got me! But I will say after hearing this podcast Im going to be more intentional about dating again. Although I live in a very white city& I’m in grad school I can still actively dating. No longer going to use school as an excuse. Been single for 6 mths now- ima get back on it! Thanks 💋

[@munix9351]

If you are in grad school, that is the best time. Join some clubs, that are fun. Hiking, art, sports, coffee making. The marries to Jesus are often the way women use to protect ourselves. For every 10 men you meet, eight will be crap. So don't get caught up in religion as a fixer.

[@shawnwashington1778]

hello queen I feel that 💯% Yeah at one point I use to say that I was “Married to Jesus” but I said that out of ignorance and immaturity. So now I’m the midst of grad school I will be open and intentional about building a healthy romantic relationship.

[@munix9351]

@@shawnwashington1778 go all in sis. go all in. Plenty of amazing men in these streets seeking loving women. But we as women have to be intentional. Give your body, health and feminine beauty the same energy that you give those books. Go to meet up. com, look for activities in your area. To thyself be true. You are gorgeous and you have every chance of competing. But you gotta step it up and believe in you. Keep in touch. I want to hear you are going on dates this year. Fly black queen. FLLLYYYYYYY

[@shawnwashington1778]

hello queen OMG... one of the best comments in KZbin history 😭😭😭 Thank you for the wisdom and inspiration 💜💜

[@carolinebell6751]

Great topic. I can’t wait to hear y’alls follow-up on the 6 categories of men to potentially avoid.

[@nancyfancy1956]

"Yours is mine and mine is mine" Ain't that the truth 🤣

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

This was good! Lol

[@kiana9941]

WOW Now I know why I have never been in a relationship...I am 3 of these

[@ecuaworrior1]

Nobody is perfect everyone got a lil mix of all of these qualitys

[@KayAlexandria283]

Yeah, definitely had to raise my hand for Married to Jesus Mary ,Career Focused Cathy and Heartbreak Heather, but I'm workin on it *shrugs*. Great video, definitely had great laugh!

[@madinkcole9989]

Kay Bradley Some women just used the church as a refuge ..when. They screw up every relationship they have been in

[@okaoalal3144]

Nahh your good got to put God first

[@tdeniseechols7434]

I can definitely see some truth to this. For those that are wanting to heal from past trauma or to work on their character flaws, find a good therapist to work with and heal so you can believe and work towards a life that is good and carefree. Many women have trauma but that doesn't have to dictate the rest of your life. I have a practice in Tampa if you are a Florida resident.