Coping with Schizophrenia: My Experience in the Psych Ward

I share what all happened and my thoughts and feelings about my recent hospitalization for a psychotic episode as a result of my schizoaffective disorder.
Related videos:
‘I’m in psychosis right now’ - • I'm in psychosis right...
‘Hello from the psych ward’ - • Hello from the psych ward
‘A day in my life as a psych ward hospital patient | VLOG’ - • A Day in My Life as a ...
'I'm out of the hospital' - • I'm out of the hospital
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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #psychosis #psychward

[@LivingWellwithSchizophrenia]

JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com

[@paulflint6254]

joined ❤️

[@NeonCicada]

Finding this online community has truly changed my life.

[@YANDEX30V]

What do you do for a living; what's your occupation.

[@YANDEX30V]

Were you diagnosed before you became a mother?

[@YANDEX30V]

So you drive under the influence. Thts irresponsible

[@Readzboox]

My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person

[@martinasikk6162]

Thank you for your comment.

[@dewilew2137]

One for you ❤️ and one for your lovely gem of a mum ❤️

[@Oaktreealley]

It sounds like your mom was honest about her struggles and willing to get help when she needed it. That's really great and helpful.

[@paulamccarthy8197]

Was all the children the same? Bless your mum

[@Readzboox]

@@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.

[@itditb]

To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.

[@sweetluvgurl]

I think both sides are important, personally. It’s good to give hope but also important to be realistic, and authentic, as well.

[@debw5203]

I agree with you. Watching Lauren's videos has been very educational and eye opening for me.

[@gigahorse1475]

I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.

[@mariahconklin4150]

I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.

[@judithstrenio9552]

⁠@@mariahconklin4150 mental health is not well understood, even by doctors. Don’t give up on trying to get help to manage life more easily.

[@KaleighKahakui]

I’m an ER nurse. Thank you for sharing your story so I can better understand my patients.

[@ewazizemska781]

Yes 👍🏾❤

[@RandomYTUser34]

Underrated comment ❤

[@LadyAurora10]

❤

[@TheTriviaTrain4869]

❤

[@shamiltharayil3727]

God bless you

[@brittanywilcox7377]

You got through a global pandemic without being hospitalized. That's impressive.

[@kimberlymiller655]

Great point about that.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

@@michelledarby6729 imagine writing something so stupid on a public forum

[@brittanywilcox7377]

@@michelledarby6729 I can tell

[@Hiforest]

​@@michelledarby6729read the room, Michelle!

[@dhhayden]

@@michelledarby6729 You’re not her psychiatrist. Quit using your google degree to diagnose strangers you’ve never met. It’s embarrassing 🙄

[@loganplonski922]

Being hospitalized isn't a personal failure on your part. Sometimes you just need extra help and that's okay.

[@shellyann8818]

❤❤

[@liliankimani9524]

I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.

[@sweetluvgurl]

I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.

[@calliea9064]

It’s a huge success that you agreed to go to the hospital

[@shannonwelsh5830]

❤❤❤

[@anonnymousperson]

Shout out to Rob. Thank you for your kindness and empathy to your partner.

[@amyblack1052]

Again .....u are blessed with a partner whom supports u

[@hopegold883]

For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.

[@hopegold883]

Not to criticize him. Not his fault he thinks differently.

[@moseseba2117]

i need me a rob..

[@irishgirl1753]

@@moseseba2117me too ❤️

[@michellem1862]

My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[@LAF1967]

So glad you have this. 20 years ago my mom and I had no help with my brother. No info barley any info

[@KB-iz1yw]

Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective are different! Schizoaffective is like Schizophrenia + Bipolar lol

[@MR.AIRWALK]

My daughter has it as well, I’m living the same experience 💕

[@abdulhye5052]

What is schzo's obsessive disorder?

[@operationpower4245]

I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.

[@ZijnShayatanica]

As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.

[@ccs9769]

good choices,agreed

[@december125690]

I have same experience with my mother. In addition my dad is bipolar. My childhood and youth was full of abuse

[@Lady_Katie]

I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️

[@yehhshhs]

pls what kind of meds helped you there? i neeed help

[@kvetoslavakveta8111]

Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏

[@ZijnShayatanica]

​​@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode. I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life. Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually. I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases. Sorry for the essay, lol!!

[@fatumataholloway4897]

Lots of sympathy.

[@Natalie-sb3km]

@@ZijnShayatanicathank you for your comment 💜

[@Twinkie989]

My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.

[@ImQuiteGay]

I’m glad you found a solution 🙏

[@masha5444]

I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.

[@peggysue1725]

I just lately figured out this keeps happening around my period. Damn :/

[@Kanggaxx]

Wow that's so interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is going into the memory bank.

[@Twinkie989]

@@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment. They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.

[@rcp2212]

As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.

[@bhanusri3732]

So children don't inherit schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia too and I am afraid of my kids having it if I have kids

[@rcp2212]

My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.

[@lookingupwithwonder]

​​@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.

[@sampal5352]

So kind ❤

[@sylkebunschoten9018]

This should be a basic part of the curriculum for psychiatric nurses / doctors etc. This is so incredibly valuable work you guys are doing!

[@80islandia]

Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.

[@russellandrews4999]

I agree 100%

[@julief4153]

couldn’t agree more

[@sicilyny5375]

For all doctors and nurses..not just specializing in psychiatric patients.

[@tonicongemi3426]

ABSOLUTELY !

[@grahamokeefe9406]

I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.

[@isaflechas]

It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢

[@mel3823]

I agree. Well said! 😊

[@mel3823]

@isaflechas same. Everyone says oh your so nice and they they see my IED episodes and then I'm embarrassed and ashamed

[@ursulamacx]

Not appearing to be ill is something that I experience. My Dr knows all too well, in my case, the better it looks, the worse it is. I also have a "disaster plan" with ALL the info needed. All phone numbers, step by step stuff. I keep it in an obvious place.It's for me primarily. I cannot rely on myself to look for things when I'm in a cascade. It helps me feel more secure in the event of an emergency. I also have my business current. Advance directives, POA,..all that stuff...in order. Those things reinforce that I am the CEO of my circumstances, no matter what I encounter. X

[@LaCurlySue562]

Well said! Agree 💯

[@Nicholasrasmusen]

Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.

[@alicemarks7468]

agree

[@80islandia]

Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.

[@jonathanlewis453]

This may be symptomatic.

[@Bethechange197]

It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.

[@80islandia]

@@Bethechange197 She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home. This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@steceymorgan814]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Is he on instagram?

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

[@ralphloen6901]

I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.

[@FlyingMonkies325]

It is for lots of conditions i can't entirely explain what happens during my episodes that happen once every 2 - 4 months with my anxiety and depression and the hardest feeling to describe is this werd nagging feeling in my brain and body i don't know what it is... and every time i keep thinking maybe it's some kind of deficiency cos it feels like something has gone low in my body, it makes me feel this weird gnawing ache that makes me want to claw myself out of my own body i'm so uncomfortable and restless... and my body is screaming it at me, but then normally 3 or 4 days later i wake up and... it's like nothing happened😕lol it's like "is this a joke? it must be" lol, all that fuss and it just pretends nothing happened lol. There's a few other things too where it's really hard to describe cos i don't think there's really a name for some things cos nobody knows the deeper things going on, on a cellular and bio level, but i know that our bodies DO tell us when something is low in us in various ways but the main thing is how it makes us feel sooo maybe that's telling us something i don't know... but when you're feeling some of these symptoms it's indescribable but feels so awful, it's like something is there i want to get out of my body it's so gnawing at me is the best way to describe it, but i can't describe it beyond that.

[@dianeblohm8969]

Schizotypal is a personality disorder which does not include psychotic symptoms , not the same symptoms as schizophrenia.

[@ralphloen6901]

Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.

[@ralphloen6901]

Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[@dianeblohm8969]

@@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.

[@trudibourke5314]

My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.

[@davinadavina1331]

@@MargaritaMagdalena how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion. family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do. i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else

[@davidbenhoff9854]

Perfectly said!

[@lookingupwithwonder]

​@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia? Any honest accounts are good education, in my view

[@etiennen4948]

My wife has been hospitalized 83 days. I haven’t had any contact with her in 78 days due to paranoia. I miss Laura. ❤

[@dewilew2137]

Oh man. I can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. I’m sorry. 😔 💕

[@RebeccaLynnMusic]

I'm sorry.

[@stephanieramirez4645]

🙏🏼😢

[@tamaradowney9947]

I'm so sorry

[@reneeupdike2220]

May God bless you for having patience and love for your wife!!!! I hope you have the strength to stay with your wife and have patience with her.❤

[@just-a-yt-guy]

I think this channel is great at achieving two main things. 1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia 2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with. To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good). PS This video was so very informative.

[@Janey2078]

You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him? Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love

[@breezystl777]

randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜

[@Janey2078]

Thank you!!

[@louisepolley9707]

This is brilliantly brave I cannot emphasize enough how inspired I am by you.

[@louisepolley9707]

Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.

[@vidmantaskvidmantask7134]

@@louisepolley9707 She felt guilty i saw and recognise that from her expressions and voice.

[@treatmenice1564]

I'm so very proud of Lauren and her family.

[@joanneverreau2546]

I’m so happy that you are home with your family💕. Be gentle with yourself , you are such an amazing and strong person….Rob too🙏🏻💙

[@cartergomez5390]

Does she hear voices?

[@LadyAurora10]

Me too!

[@madeofmud7222]

I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.

[@MrCamilaVasconcellos]

I think that now that she can recognize that she actually needs hospitalization when things are getting out of hand she is finally becoming able to manage the illness. I believe it is a great progress in learning how to live with the illness.

[@walle226]

You know that you are doing something for humanity here right? Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!

[@leeartlee915]

I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.

[@marsenalyn4564]

I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤

[@ccs9769]

what a terrible disease!! 👎👎👎 I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[@danielleonetwo]

Thank you for sharing so much about such a difficult time in your life. Sending you and your family so much love 💜

[@mzdawn8374]

As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.

[@madcow3417]

This is a little off-topic, but this is a quote from the movie One Hour Photo. "People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence... free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget." That's not the only reason you don't post video of psychotic episodes. It sounds like an intense and very personal event. I wouldn't post a video of me vomiting for hours or curled up in the fetal position on a channel about migraines.

[@dewilew2137]

That’s such a great movie!

[@madcow3417]

@@elcapitan24 it might be, but I wouldn't post it. It's like posting naked pictures of yourself, but two steps beyond. It's not just me at my most vulnerable, it's reliving it with each comment, good or bad. The sympathetic comments would be tough to read. Anything about it being staged or not that bad would just feel devastating.

[@GlenWooden67]

Talking to your kids, with age-appropriate honesty will empower them and make them feel more confident around issues like this. Kids know when we hide things - it scares them ("If it is so bad that my parents won't tell me, it must be really bad...") In addition to empowering them, they will end up as incredibly compassionate and understanding adults - something we all need. Good job, mommy!

[@jessice293]

My mother hid her mental illness from me until I was about 14 and when she told me it felt like my whole world shifted and nothing ever felt the same again… I wish she had just explained it with age appropriate language as I grew up. Especially because I grew up to have a panic disorder not dissimilar to hers

[@davidbenhoff9854]

I stumbled upon your posting by accident, and was glued to every second. You are one brave, and inspirational woman. I served over two decades in the US Marines, and knew lots of brave men and women...and your bravery is right up there. Your genuineness is so apparent, and you're obviously a wonderful human being. Love your sense of humor about such difficult experiences. Rob, you're a gem, my friend. I wish you both so very much good in your future. If you ever get down to Florida, look us up. Seriously. Will take yall swimming with the manatees!

[@Grace1708]

Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.

[@thehypercasual385]

seems kinda like he is publicly shaming her

[@BorisNoiseChannel]

@@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?

[@luchirimoya]

​@@thehypercasual385totally :/

[@raeperonneau4941]

It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.

[@T.Beattie89]

First time seeing your channel. Thank you so much!!! I’m so proud that you got four years! And you chose to check yourself in!

[@relaxmore444]

Thank you for sharing your story Lauren! and educating people about how it went down and what to expect. I am glad that you have such such good support from your partner Rob! I hope that you are doing better.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

It is super upsetting that the POLICE are called in these events. POLICE presence can escalate things unnecessarily. I don't have a solution, but am merely observing that there should be another step in place. The way mental events are handled leaves much to be desired. Love and healing to you ❤

[@fuchsfarben]

I get what you say, but in Rob's situation, with a person on the road who is in psychosis and a very possible danger to everyone around her, police is the only option. There is no other step for stopping somebody in a car on the road, when you don't even know where they are.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@fuchsfarben yes of course I understand the urgency of the operation of heavy dangerous machinery... However there are opportunities (I am not picking on these folks' situation, it is just one of many examples) to have people/steps in place PRIOR to police enforcement to help. Maybe trusted people, a point person that is not necessarily family, but a GUIDE of some sort to walk with and through with the person experiencing the episode. Like she said, family can be a paranoia trigger and also adds shame of what you "are putting your family through" which doesn't help. Hmmm... a psychosis guide - like a guardian angel....

[@leahpitman2731]

⁠@@thedavesiknow4598es, they should have trained intervention people who would be able to say the right words to someone in psychosis who could deescalate the situation. I suppose, there could be too much of a risk and things could escalate quickly. It just seems so unfair. I mean Rob is a safe person, yet while in a state of psychosis she is even afraid of him. She understands and knows this once the episode is over. Since she isn’t at the moment able to think rationally, anyone could become “the enemy”. Just so hard. Having to “endure” the “checkin” process would be sheer torture for someone in psychosis! My heart breaks for her, and yet she is so passionate about using her painful experiences to help others! An amazing person! The pain in her eyes as she relays this episode is so obviously there! She so much wants to be free of this!

[@louisehogg8472]

Locally they try to call the health service mental health crisis team, rather than general police now. If possible.

[@louisehogg8472]

@@thedavesiknow4598 that's a good idea and could be part of someone's Wellness Action Plan. Here they've tried to improve things, with each police station and A&E department having a mental health professional available 24/7. Also the health service mental health Crisis Team or Direct Brief Intervention Team are usually called. And if someone is only intermittently losing reality and not too disjointed in their thinking, it CAN be possible to de-escalate by listening and putting yourself in their shoes. Avoiding clumsy 'threatening' behaviours.

[@revali2187]

Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.

[@LatteCoco1]

Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.

[@JannockDiors]

I love seeing your channel grow!!! Also, the insight into your experiences are so helpful and I really appreciate them and you!

[@littlemissmisses2981]

As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤

[@queenselene1834]

I feel you

[@jod8067]

What auto immune system do you have of you don't mind me asking

[@Aemys]

It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways. But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.

[@joantrader1159]

My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle My heart goes out to you.

[@joantrader1159]

Yes. There is grieving also for the life you thought you would have. My daughter was in her early 20's when her disease really excelerated.

[@pittsdogm]

You'll never realize how many people you have helped, being so open and vulnerable. Thank you so much.

[@JN.S.M]

It kind of makes me said that Lauren feels the need to explain that she was in an altered state. I think she doesn’t give herself enough credit of how incredible it is that even in psychosis, she still has a sense of self-awareness. I hope she finds solace in that. If anything, that should make her feel that no matter what the future holds, she is strong enough to listen to her wisdom.

[@wonderwoman5528]

Your openness and honesty will help so many people going through the same thing, as well as educating people who may not understand. I’m wishing you the best recovery from this illness

[@DreamsOfCepheid]

I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!

[@libbyhyett6625]

Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.

[@Andi-tx1rl]

You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤

[@deliabusuioc6034]

I am both moved to tears and fascinated. Much love to you and Rob:*

[@user-ob2md2us5o]

Thank you for sharing ❤ you help a lot families that are going thru this situation

[@miminzb]

It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.

[@SamiVortex]

It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊

[@meretriciousinsolent]

​@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.

[@SamiVortex]

@meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.

[@stkate1093]

@@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.

[@SamiVortex]

@stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%

[@janiegetyourgun]

My family is not convinced I have schizophrenia (despite diagnosis) because I do not fit their idea of what a schizophrenic looks/acts like. I get good grades in uni so I must be fine. They don’t see my daily struggles to be/appear normal. I work, I go to school, but I literally forego proper hygiene and other things in order to make space for work and studying because I cannot handle work, school, cooking every meal, showering and grooming every day, maintaining a social life, cleaning my house. I’d be in psychosis 24/7. So in order to finish school and earn my degree while working, that’s where I put my efforts. I shower maybe once a week, I wash my hair every two weeks and only brush it after I wash it, I shave even less, I trim my nails once a month, I have no friends because I have no time to hang out or call people all the time, i don’t exercise, I try to cook most nights but my husband cleans and does the dishes to help me. I work 9 hours a day, come home, cook, and study. That’s my routine. Adding anything to that compounds my stress and overwhelms me to the point where I start slipping into psychosis. I cannot wait to graduate next year and take school off my plate.

[@healingfear]

It's very generous of you to share these experiences with us. Thank you, Lauren.

[@pbate8094]

You are such a blessing and thank you for all you share ❤

[@katiefromcolorado4972]

You are not wrong about the extreme mental stress that come with menstruation and sinus pressure (colds). These things on top of life stress will ALWAYS put my mental health in the dumpster.

[@CarolAnneAmos]

"It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.

[@Jennifer_150]

Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization. Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈 Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness. Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷 Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉

[@donaldcarpenter5328]

When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!

[@user-yp4li4lf1z]

Thank you for sharing your experiences through your channel... I've been fighting with schizophrenia for a while now... This really helped real me in from my own personal psychosis and delusions at a time where I desperately needed it. I'm know it wasn't easy. Very brave and strong of you.

[@hberri7772]

Rob is such a great interviewer and thank you for elaborating on certain questions.

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

Rob is an intelligent, educated, enlightened, cool person. For all the people trying to imagine that Rob is the problem. Raspberries

[@e.s.lavall9219]

100%, Rob is exactly the kind of partner someone with chronic mental illness needs. Rob haters WTF???

[@alienatedd]

@@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

@@alienatedd Do you want me to argue with you or are you just correct?

[@calibrial]

@@alienatedd you sound like you may be projecting. Have you recently started watching this channel?

[@dewilew2137]

I don’t understand the people who have those criticisms, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. It feels like they want a spectacle to gawk at. You are not obligated to share anything that you don’t want to share. It isn’t unreasonable to not make content when you’re unwell. No one is thinking about making content in the middle of a psychotic episode. It’s absurd to even suggest that you should. Anyone saying this stuff fundamentally does not understand mental illness. How selfish and rude of them.

[@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears]

I totally agree. I do understand that those who do not have it in their life and are helped by seeing it would want more exposure. Sometimes things are not understood until you see the worst. That being said, it should not be demanded or expected or made to feel like a spectacle. It is also sometimes cathartic to others who struggle to see it with someone else and sometimes can provide insight into something you were unaware of in yourself or someone who you love who has similar struggles. Again with respect and free will and not demanded. But there are also those who have a more malice view sadly. Who want to feel superior but this would be my understanding of those who have better intentions.

[@pauloperes9378]

My thoughts exactly

[@Laura-tv2dx]

Some people with schizophrenia don't really see themselves in her. Think about what the main problem with schizophrenia is- loss of cognitive function. Yet here is a woman who has a degree and a family and a job. 90% of schizophrenics are unemployed. It's the disability with the highest unemployment rate.

[@dangerbirb4981]

On KZbin and other places on the internet there's this push to make disability palatable for mass consumption. I don't think it's on purpose in a lot of cases or it is a coping strategy for others but when you show up perfectly coifed with a clean house, supportive family, and are presenting as very functional it feels disingenuous to the vast majority whose lives are not like that. When I was in peer support groups the vast majority did not have half of those things. Lots of people had been living in half way houses, on tiny disability checks, unable to work, coping poorly on meds that didn't work for them prescribed by doctors who weren't very interested in helping beyond the bare minimum. Lots of people were estranged from their families or stuck in toxic relationships. There was a lack of education and lack of resources. People struggled so hard to survive. Some people had even been arrested for being symptomatic in public. It's much harder to be a schizophrenic black man, for example. I think Lauren is extremely lucky to be where she is. I don't say that to put her down but to point out that the reality is much starker for many people so I can see why they resent this presentation.

[@ksthoughtpalace3042]

Because people don't understand schizophrenia they Want to see what the 'bad' part is, or what goes on in someone's head during psychosis. They want to know the whole story so they can understand fully. // Not sharing that kind of info makes this a channel more of a support for people and families already dealing with schizophrenia, than for people who are trying to learn more about it.

[@chloeslater7231]

a different set of diagnosis but can always relate to your channel so much. The feelings in that acute period, the fluctuating insight, the paranoia, the combativeness, the interpersonal chaos, the terror, so many thing. I'm so grateful for your channel, I find it so helpful and also reduces the level of shame I have around 20 years of severe mental illness and hospitalisations. Thank you.

[@shelleygrambower3687]

Thank you so very much for being so honest and raw! The lives you will have a positive impact on and likely save are numerous and you should be very proud of that. You said a phrase being I like to pretend I done have my disorder and that I can live my life like I done - this resonated so very much for me. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder and like you I prefer to live my life in denial that this should/could impact my ability to do what it appears everyone else can do. Thank you for helping me see where I am not serving myself! Xo

[@maricormier121]

I am a retired social worker/mental health thetapist. After watching any of your viedo I have the utmost respect and admirat

[@maricormier121]

Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!

[@bluejedi723]

Think of each hospitalization as a learning experience. And you move forward. It's not a personal failure.

[@Sunshinesinthesky]

Lauren and Rob are so brave and vulnerable. I’m mind blown and so touched to know such amazing souls are out there willing to share their challenges in order to promote and normalise mental health conversations. ❤ THANK YOU!

[@soniaduran292]

This is so beautiful and vulnerable thank you so much for sharing your story

[@myrnaedmisten599]

You are helping de stigmatize mental health/mental illness. Thanks to you and Rob. ❤

[@cdrshean]

When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕

[@veronicai6278]

Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).

[@janerainsford8996]

Thank you for sharing this conversation with us. For your followers this is so informative and generous. Thank you thank you thank you.

[@MonsieurCanuck]

Wow, amazing video. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. My whole family watched from beginning to end, and your candor allowed us to have some really good discussion. We have a family member with mental illness, and this video made it a lot less scary. Also, so glad you're on the road to recovery - lots of love going your way!

[@hsbswjwsb]

we all love you lauren, never forget that

[@Brandyelyse]

I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.

[@vivica11111]

³⁴0

[@PrairieRose4]

Your honesty is rare & refreshing. Thank you for sharing. Mental illness runs deep in my family & I appreciate you.

[@karenday9109]

Omg Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping me to understand mental illness. You are a very brave lady!

[@user-hu9bh8ww1y]

People with cancer have to go to hospital. People who have strokes have to go to hospital . Etc....people with mental illness may have to go to hospital. Best wishes to you both and kids...

[@mhtxi9486]

When someone is sick of cancer or fever it is ok they always go back and forth to hospital but if it is illness of psychosis etc. the society will always looks at it with a different outlook. Why cant they be like any other illness? Maybe because we do not accept it as illness of any kind. I hope one day the society will accept it as normal illness we send them to hospital like any other illness is sent to hospital and no more expectations

[@michelles9897]

💟 Lauren & Rob you are two wonderful humans. Thanks for all that you do.

[@joannepower203]

You are amazingly honest and such a shining light in the mental health world. Thank you ❤

[@ronmoore6598]

Again, Thank You have having the courage to make these videos! I wish someone I know who has mental illness was as aware as you are. Listening to your experiences gives me knowledge on how to help them! Thank you SO MUCH!

[@soul7530]

It makes me feel out of control to think we can stay on our meds yet still there’s a possibility of a psychotic episode and need to go back into hospital.

[@noeraldinkabam]

Lauren, be nice to yourself. You are doing very well and getting sicker does not reflect bad on any part of you. I know you’re scared. Guilt is good for nothing when you didn’t choose to do anything.

[@robinprice6879]

Wow, I’m just so impressed with your honesty and your willingness to put yourself out there. I am close with 3 individuals with your same diagnosis and this is really helpful. Thank you so much

[@cfunvid]

Thank you for being brave and taking a huge risk to yourself in sharing your experience.

[@kimwells7245]

I don't know if Rob will see this but I think everyone wishes they had a Rob !

[@131pinkbird]

My ER experience was so terrible, they kicked me out after they admitted me and went looking for me. It felt abusive .

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

And it was. Bullying is a full on skill taught social workers and nurses dealing with mental illness. Psychs who graduated at the lowest half of the class who are the ones you get in psych wards just use overdosing to bully you with.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Mine wasn't so great, either. My husband is not able to have his truck right now and he doesn't fit well in the car with his prosthetic leg. So when they wanted to admit me, I had to drive him home. That means I left "against medical advice" and had to come right back and wait in line again. It was pretty awful. They also didn't want to pay my hospital bill at first either but that got figured out pretty easily.

[@JesusSaves77799]

I’m so sorry. There definitely has to be better systems put in place to prevent those in “power” from abusing those who are vulnerable and in need - in any situation. God bless you and protect you and anyone else in these situations in Jesus’s Holy Name. I am committed to making more loving environments for people in need! 🙏💖

[@JulieLorraine1]

This has to stop. Blasting medical professionals is counterproductive. We are there to help ppl. All pts! We do not discriminate. You are privileged to have a safe place to go to. What would you have us do when you are in psychosis ? We are stretched to the limits as is with beds etc. Have more respect for medical staff!

[@KatieM786]

​@@JulieLorraine1How are things going to improve if people don't point these things out?

[@smedoz]

Thank you for your brutal honesty. It’s helpful to understand what people with similar illnesses go through.

[@lucysweeney8347]

Thank you Lauren and Rob,for your courage,honesty and sharing the struggles from both the hospital front line and the home front line.This is the greatest help to me trying to understand and support people with this devastating illness.Wishing you a better day every day as you work together on your recovery.Great job.

[@Strange_Nothings]

I was hospitalized 5 times in five years. And now, it's been a year and a half no hospital so far. It's just a path, and the hospital is there to catch you if you need it.

[@wee0007]

It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤

[@mmmmlllljohn]

You are quite amazing that you can articulate your experiences so well. I think you are helping those with mental illness and their loved ones understand what goes on in your mind when dealing with psychosis. I’m glad you had the resident talk with you and help you get the care you needed. I know exactly how you felt in the ER overnight and I think you should have been moved to a quieter place but I know hospitals and doctors are struggling with an overload in the ERs. I have much respect for you in being able to share your experiences when in psychosis. Kudos to you and Rob or dealing with this illness so openly.! I think your kids will be more kind and empathetic as they grow up knowing their mom had this struggle with mental illness. Mental illness should be a more accepted and open subject. A big hug and a prayer from Mississauga, Ontario ❤️🇨🇦🙏

[@marry632]

Thank you, thank you so much. For being vulnerable and sharing about time where you hurt rob and about times where you struggle. Thank you.

[@alexandrac591]

I can't stop lingering on the knowledge that you got so much sicker and were in so much more danger *because* the ER experience was so bad and that they didn't prioritize your needs for days once you were in. Like, no wonder you left and probably felt betrayed, which is probably a very reasonable reaction. And then! The police are the only option to get you. And THEN! A horrifying, carceral room that almost anyone would feel unsafe in. The hospital is no better and again, why does it seem like such a purposeful removal of dignity. You're here to heal but they start with a stunning array of obstacles to your healing, making it worse for literally everyone involved. It's carceral. It's heartbreaking. We should know better by now. I fully, fully respect that there's a need for a safe and therapeutic space for severe mental illness events. And this just doesn't feel like it's adequate or helpful toward that end goal. That this is your best experience is ... I'm glad, but also sad.

[@jameslatta6813]

Yeah. She looks really, really traumatized. Good grief. Look at her eyes. She's totally clear headed.

[@sia9907]

It's barbaric and I'm so angry on her behalf. She was trying to do the right thing and it backfired. Canadian healthcare is the worst.

[@alexandrac591]

@@sia9907 I am genuinely curious about what country does mental health care the best. To a degree, I feel like there's people who do want to help and do the right thing but the system won't let them. It feels incredibly archaic but it impacts real lives every day.

[@jameslatta6813]

@@sia9907 How so? She looked like she had checked into a decent hotel.

[@jenniebrogan3197]

Lauren’s experience of waiting to be assessed and get a bed for hours at an ER is common in the US, at least where I am in Virginia. I’ve known people who were not given any medication while waiting in small rooms or in a hallway, which did exacerbate their symptoms.

[@phototristan]

I hope you don't feel pressure to have to make videos about all of your experiences. You don't need that added pressure. Of course if you want to do so and it helps, that's different.

[@wren1114]

Exactly

[@paulflint6254]

same here

[@alicemarks7468]

I agree. I feel like people don't realize that this is HER channel and HER life...and they end up treating her like a product/spectacle. It's not her responsibility to share everything she experiences.

[@alienatedd]

Well her “partner” manipulates her into filming when she’s in a vulnerable place. It’s mentioned in the beginning of the video that she’s doesn’t want to be doing this but Rob wants her to. She will NEVER heal in this environment because he will always be manipulating her thoughts and actions, which is NOT helpful for someone struggling to have two firm feet planted in reality. Abuse causes paranoia, it doesn’t create an environment to take it away.

[@indigomage2833]

​@@alienateddShe wouldn't have parinoia about people mind controling her if her whole life wasn't controlled by Rob

[@Momshouseofchaos]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your transparency throughout this challenging time. It is so helpful to those of us who love and/or care for folks dealing with mental health crises. Wishing you a lifetime of better days ahead!!

[@missybrewer423]

I love this channel. You are an inspiration. I work with mental illness everyday so thank you so so much for being open enough to do this! It really is so helpful! Truly! May you continue doing "well" in your journey.

[@atura5502]

The doc‘s told me every time I go off meds and get psychotic again I risk that the illness advances and that the previous does of medication won‘t work any more.

[@JesusSavesFromDeathandHell]

That's a lie. It's to cause you to fear.

[@WhoAmI2YouNow]

Oh wow that's scary

[@rect7840]

It's true, there can be residual symptoms after the episode and they can increase. I've worked with 40+ year old patients who have gone without treatment for 20+ years and have a lot of difficulties even with meds now.

[@lavintella]

I think that your doctor is right, my father went off his medication for several months and now, even back on his medication, he has more psychotic and mixed manic episodes than before, he has become resistant to his medication to an extent unfortunately.

[@atura5502]

I gues I got lucky, was unmedicated/undiagnosed for 12 years. I‘m doing quite well on meds since 3 months ^_^

[@RebeccaLizEve]

I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual! Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.

[@user-ez9sw2hf3u]

Thanks a lot Lauren for sharing. It's precious and allows me to better understand my son who has the same diagnosis. A big shout to Rob for his support and understanding. I send you both positives vibes in this difficult period.

[@michelleford7392]

You’re the best-the real deal! Your honesty and humility are so helpful and appreciated! Please know that you are cared for and awesome!!❤❤️

[@gigahorse1475]

No matter what you do, people on the internet will criticize you. If you show all your worst moments, they will say you’re attention-seeking or dramatic. If you only show your best moments they will say you’re a faker or inauthentic. If you wear makeup and look presentable then they will say you’re not really ill. If you don’t put on makeup people will say you’re not trying hard enough. There will always be critics, but most people here are kind and support you. Do what you want and what makes you comfortable. I appreciate your channel. ❤

[@likejohnnyandjune2024]

It's a success to know that you needed help and got it

[@cynsue1618]

Thank you so much for sharing what you are sharing here, I have a dear, dear friend who struggles with this, but won't stay on her meds. Also there has been so much shame associated with mental illness through the ages, this is something that really needs to stop and for someone to share this I think is so healing and helpful! Thank you, thank you.