The Science of Gay Sex (with Iain Gillespie) | Sci Guys Podcast

[@luke]

67. Also my favourite number.

[@TYLER-yb1ex]

mines 69

[@romanv.8395]

It's not possible because we all know Luke is quite sexy!

[@amelievidalesnicoletti459]

@@TYLER-yb1ex Mines 36. I like multiples of 3.🙃

[@TYLER-yb1ex]

@@amelievidalesnicoletti459 i like sex

[@styleluv209]

Had to stop myself from screaming over this collab in order to maintain the facade to my family that I’m sane.

[@viktoriacherepanova8331]

It was so interesting, thank you! The discussion "how sex ed classes should look like" was fascinating for me, because all your ideas is beyond that I can imagine could be taught in schools. I'm from Russia and we don't have any sex education in our schools. And our parents and teachers know nothing about sex, because they were growing up in "there is no sex" Soviet Union. And it's sad that I, as bisexual woman, felt equally not prepared for first time with woman and first time with man. You've changed a lot my understanding of that sex ed in schools could be in a perfect world!)

[@bloomingallium]

honestly iain can’t surprise me anymore i just saw this and i was like “alright i guess they’re doing this today”

[@dfw-k6z]

The topic of "sexual scripting" was very interesting! From a gay male perspective, not having that script makes the first time more intimidating and more uncertain. But then you become part of a larger community without a strict "script", and it makes it a lot easier to negotiate and find different ways in which you might be compatible with somebody else rather than assuming that intimacy means having to do a particular set of things in a particular order. I think that makes it more limiting for plenty of straight folks who are more bound to a particular "script". It is more difficult to negotiate wanting to be intimate without wanting to have PIV penetrative sex at a particular point in time, or with a particular person.

[@stephanie5293]

I love when someone other than corry does the outro because you realize how it is always exactly the same and perfectly memorized by corry

[@snorkfyren]

ive heard alot of trans people who experience change in their sexuality after having less dysphoria as well as starting hormones. its sort of weird because to me i had so much dysphoria that women in general where off putting before i started passing. it sort of reminded me of my body being female.

[@nick3280]

I've experienced this! I thought I only liked boys as a kid, as I got older I liked girls too, also nonbinary people, and after having testosterone I found that I am mostly attracted to women, and the men I found attractive were men I wanted to look like. Though I do still find myself developing attraction to men after becoming emotionally attracted to them

[@Jay-fk9gs]

That's really interesting, as I actually experienced the opposite. The idea of comparing my body to cis-man in sexual way made me dysphoric. In highschool, while being primarily attracted to men, I was dating exclusively women. After T, I am majorly attracted to men and I feel more comfortable engaging with cis-men.

[@QueenpinMolly]

I LOVE THIS PODCAST, Yall saved my life, im not joking. Thank you all. Yall are truly making a difference❤

[@georgiadailey182]

Not all teenagers want to and/or will. I'm asexual and the thought has always made me cringe. I so wish that had been presented as a possibility in sex ed. It was always assumed that sex was something everybody wanted; because I didn't I felt that I must have been unhealthily suppressing desires. I would force myself to masturbate, but at least I didn't let myself be pressured by social norms into doing something with another person; I know peers who did - leading to some very damaging first experiences. It was a long time before I realized that not having the desire in the first place was okay. So liberating!

[@YugeYun]

I really wish there was healthy representation of asexuality when I was younger. It made me so confused when people started to talk about sex and their one night stands at a certain age. I didn’t know there were people like me, so my conclusion was that there had to be something broken about me. Peer pressure and the desire to belong at that age is no joke. So, as you said some people go as far as force themselves to have sex. That’s me. The guy I dated ended up raping and gaslighting me when I couldn’t get aroused. It didn’t help that when I looked for help online to understand what had happened, I got told that sex is a normal part of a relationship and it was all my fault. Many friends, doctors, even my therapist said things you should never say to an ace persion, such as you just haven’t met the right person. It took me a long time to come to terms with being asexual and to feel that liberation and peace that you mentioned. Today I’ve mustered the courage to admit to myself that I would like to be in a relationship with another asexual, but I’m scared I’ll never find anyone, since there aren’t that many of us. All the trauma has made me a bit wary of relationships as well. 😔 This all could have been avoided if I just knew there was nothing wrong with me to begin with.

[@the_bandcamp_one]

i remember just after having started identifying as ace being in a sex ed absolutely fuming at the way they were telling us everyone would want sex at some point. not just because i knew that wasn't true but also because i was no way confident enough in my asexuality for that not to make me really insecure in my own identity

[@eserbe2]

Oh my GOD mandatory LGBT sex education in schools? In my wonderful Hell of a country, this summer LGBTQ+ sex ed became illegal. Also, showing anything LQBTQ+ related to kids under 18. Just saying, Harry Potter is an 18+ movie now (since Dumbledore's gay). Just wanted to leave this here, to let you know how low has Hungary sunk in the past years. I'll continue with the video now

[@beatricefox937]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m going to sound very dumb saying this but I went to Hungary once and thought it was such a beautiful country. I was devastated when I saw what was going on. I wish you the best of luck and have a good day

[@DannyS177]

I would love to see "Everyone is Fallible, Some People are Gay" on a tee-shirt.

[@alexandramorgan6254]

I FELT when you were talking ab being jealous of younger kids for having representation. Like She-Ra, Owl House, Stephen Universe, etc. they have actual child friendly representation not just- The L Word

[@TYLER-yb1ex]

my moms gonna question not only my watch history but why i’m falling asleep to this

[@wryn.is.trying]

i love this podcast, i get to learn things but also it’s very calming. idk why, but y’all’s voices help me chill out and the content doesn’t give me anxiety, which leads to me falling asleep to a podcast on gay sex… weird, but it worked lol

[@mohanthegay4398]

im in isolation with covid atm and this is an ideal way to pass the time... im so excited for this episode!

[@FridayRosesTwitch]

I had an ultrasound the other week and I got a letter saying what to expect and they do a internal scan and on this very formal letter from the NHS it states 'if you are a virgin or unable to tolerate an internal scan' and it was just wild that they said the term virgin because it is so hard to define especially as some who is queer

[@supercalifragilisticexpial2293]

omgg bears in trees representt!! :'D🧸🌳

[@JW-biswede]

Very interesting, I didn’t realize how much my first sexual experiences really affected future ones. I just didn’t connect the two until you all talked about it. ⚡️

[@Hyzentley]

Oh god, it is so reasuring to hear that other wlw also felt as if they were "not queer enough" unless they already had sex with another woman. And also this thing of not being able to see if they are just friendly or actually want to flirt, flirting with women is so incredibly hard.

[@elliotisnotonline]

hey look its iain from dirt bag boyband bears in trees (seriously tho when I tell you screamed when I saw the notification for this episode of sciguys, as a fan of bit and the pod I was fucking happy)

[@saturn8413]

Why am I only now discovering that Iain was on this podcast?!!! THEY'RE LIKE MY FAVOURITE PERSON EVER!

[@thecreatornooj1328]

On the subject of media representation: I'm a huge comic nerd, especially in regards to Batman. Batman is kinda my thing. So In recent years, they've started diversifying The Bat-Family, and I love it. They had the third Robin, the third-generation Chinese-American Tim Drake, come out as bisexual (or some variant thereof. He likes men and women but we don't know the label if there is one at all). The Signal was introduced in the We Are Robin arc, who is a poc robin-type hero that operates in the daytime instead of at night, when most of the batfam operates. We have Jace Fox as The Batman of NYC and his brother Luke Fox/Batwing, who are black men. We have Nightwing/Dick Grayson/The first Robin as a Romani, Damian Wayne (the fourth Robin) as the biological son of Bruce Wayne and who is of Arab origin. We have Kate Kane/Batwoman, who is a lesbian, we have the mixed-race Asian-American Cassandra Cain as the Black Bat/Orphan/Batgirl. Then there's Harper Row/Blue Bird and her Brother Cullen. Cullen is gay, and Harper is Bisexual in most depictions. There's a lot of canon diversity in the batfamily. I just wish they'd bring them all to mainstream media.

[@stephanie5293]

15, 18, 21… one is age of sex, one is hockey number, and one is my birthday

[@toomanymen1]

Best podcast the get me through these dark times! sooooo informative, funny and just daym right beautiful x

[@Shrimpyfriedrice]

40:00 About Lesbians finding less dates online.... the other thing is, there are Lesbian dating services, but they're stormed by men fetishising Lesbians and preying on them. There are also many cishet couples trying to find a girl for a threesome with a guy.... so whatever you do, there are constantly cis guys trying to breach into those women only spaces and it's just uncomfortable there.

[@Emma-cp2bt]

Hey look it's Iain from bears in trees

[@fintheominousgoose1516]

Bears in trees fans sure are rushing here

[@robinroryld]

Sandboxes assemble

[@amelievidalesnicoletti459]

Luke doing the outro was hilarious. It looked like Corry was probably mouthing what he had to say next.

[@Stargazer3131]

@ the 12:00 time stamp is so interesting, my first (and only!) Sexual exsperience with a guy made me feel dirty/ashamed/violated etc etc and suicidal for two years after as I kept replaying the events back in my head!🤯🥺 I've questioned my sexuity since I was 12, from being hetero/lesbian or both. But if I'm also honest I had issues with my gender (periods) but love everything else with being a girl/woman and pregnancy etc etc disgusts me.... Decades later I found out about Asexuality and i was shocked that allot of what I thought was being said!.

[@persistenturge]

Number still pending, I am under the age of consent in my state and I am a law abiding citizen! Also dysphoria. Also the thought of doing anything with anyone makes me incredibly nervous. Even thinking about it now makes me nervous. Ah! We'll see how it goes haha.

[@barbecuedsimsbaby]

Im in the exact same boat, super excited though :)

[@alisonallen8658]

The Long Call recently adapted on ITv not only had a lead detecitve who happend to be gay buy also how he had been screwed up by being raised with a community very like the plymouth bretheren but still in a good relationship with his husband! And played by an opening gay actor Benalderidge who comes form the same background!

[@annawangensteen1827]

I love that this research exists thank u its so important

[@harrietgriffiths5002]

sorry it's unrelated but bears in trees?? I had so many adverts for them on instagram that was just unexpected 😂

[@Robb3636]

Favourite number is 36, so I guess I'll put that down. (Maybe it'll be prophetic, who knows)

[@rubberchicken1219]

Such a clean and pretty number since it's divisible with a lot of numbers (2,3,4,6,9 etc) 😄

[@MegaALLCAPSRAGE]

trans. can concur, I went from believing I was asexual to realising I was bisexual because I wanted to have sexual experiences with men and women as a man.

[@kaiyodei]

sometimes i think if i were male i would not be asexualish, but there are asexual men and males so that is sexist to think that way

[@SciFiCreeps]

my school didn't even teach about consent :/

[@ella1856]

for me what the must include lgbt people in sex ed in 2019 meant they acknowledged that gay people exist but didn't actually teach us anything about it

[@dangagne3347]

I thought that Corry could not get more handsome (ok, absolutely adorable), and I’m proven wrong every time he drops a new episode. How can any man with a pulse resist Corry’s glorious blend of beauty and brains? I could cuddle him forever.

[@rjcarter2904]

Awesome. I think a broad definition of "sexual experience" is a good idea. It could even be fantasy.

[@boygirl]

well this certainly made me realise things about myself anyway very interesting

[@darcylahey3178]

Haven't done it and don't want to do it. I'm ace.

[@thornarts]

based

[@deadlymelody27]

Oh no, i ordered a tshirt and a calendar before i knew that there would be collectable pins 😬 i love collecting things 🤣 looks like i gotta get a pin now

[@jiliciar.1423]

Lol! 😃 "Gay people make bad life choices". Edit: I enjoyed listening to this.

[@alexthejustok]

I was so excited when I heard the word calendar I went and bought it before I heard the part about the Patreon discount... oops 😂

[@AlmightyRawks]

I know I am super late to this video, and I don't know if you still read comments, but I would love a topic regarding sexual scripting and the realm of Fanfiction. For the purpose of realistic evaluations let's leave out the more "out there topics", and let's say there's a very good number of person falls in love with person (and has sex with) stories out there. The sex part between brackets because some stories are for all audiences, not necessarily explicit. In many fandoms there have been general movements of writing LGBTQ+ stories where every person's identity and attraction is accepted, for example. Or that people find out who they like, and figure out how to go about it. As a decent number of people who write fanfiction (I think, no research done on this myself) fall within LGBTQ+ /or/ strongly associate with the viewpoints in life of LGBTQ+, I might argue that it could be a source of sexual scripting (maybe even relational scripting) that isn't dependent on grownups or educational institutions, and therefore less limited?

[@munaq-jp]

Define "sex". Does oral count? What about some finger action? Does it count if you are the giver or the receiver in both cases? My answer would vary between 6 and 13 depending on the answers to those questions. And my favorite number is 2.

[@the_bandcamp_one]

i actually made a (deliberately) shitty t-shirt design for 'all people are fallable, some people are gay' i just need to actually get it on a t-shirt

[@needsanewbrain]

seeing this on my feed made me think i had been put into some kind of simulation

[@KieranSamuel]

Great episode

[@socialistagenda5040]

Would buy that shirt.

[@carlhumanbcrab]

I first had sex when i was 18, primarily educated by Ash Hardell. My ex and I had been together for months and were just waiting for an empty house to have sex it. I now identify as Asexual so thats fun

[@greyv9107]

the only thing i wish this covered that it didnt is what the hell do you do when you werent informed, your first sexual experiences were shit, and now your suffering from the repercussions? i love that theyre working on preventative education but its going to take awhile for the education system to catch up

[@ExhaustedOwl]

EMDR can be very beneficial for people dealing with traumatic memories, but I think it usually requires a referral, so access & cost can be a barrier for a lot of people :(

[@greyv9107]

@@ExhaustedOwl true, although i dont think i was clear enough. im trying to talk about bad first experiences, not traumatic ones. cause even those have lasting effects on peoples relationships and sexual experiences. sexual trauma is a whole other can worms (i mean this in the nicest way possible). sorry its hard to convey stuff in youtube comments lol

[@vd2485]

My favorite number is 4 so I’m not gonna do that. Instead I’m gonna guess when it happens: 26

[@danielp2448]

Everyone here talking about sex Ed being about "Abstinence only" or "you'll die if you do butt stuff" And I'm here being treated like a little kid in high school. My Sex-ed consisted of labelling genitalia (Catholic school). I failed at labelling male genitalia, but got an almost perfect score on female genitalia.... and I turned out to be gay... Go figure.

[@jairushubbard3846]

16, 21, 25 Favorite number, de-virgining age, and current age in no particular order. 😉

[@oldvlognewtricks]

How can you be so sure of future events? 🤔

[@rollespil1000]

Very interesting! (I learned stuff)

[@APairOfOldSkoolVans]

Not gonna tell you which one but 3...

[@zelrex4657]

Null. I'm a bit of a ace 😜

[@ViolentOrchid]

Cyborgs always gave me being mixed racial vibes

[@ajdrummond9628]

Would love a tardigrade shirt but I'm a big boy and your sizes aren't big enough :(

[@oivenmann9977]

72. Subjectively the best number ever

[@maciehoover4536]

7 is my favorite number

[@toomanymen1]

AMAZING

[@basketchaos]

My first sexual sex was technically at 19, though in hindsight, it really wasn’t all that sexual 🤔

[@TYLER-yb1ex]

lol i know all about gay sex

[@theorangedinosaur4098]

I’m a virgin 💀

[@catherinesi4643]

15

[@uvan5202]

why do they keep saying this study is about LGBT experiences, when the study ignores trans people's existence? I understand why the study does that, but like that's just LGB experiences not LGB(T) lol.

[@SciGuys]

The study doesn’t ignore trans people’s existence at all. Iain, the person who conducted the study, is non binary. I can’t remember the exact cohort off the top of my head, but at least one participant was trans.

[@uvan5202]

@@SciGuys ohh, ok. i was just confused when they were explaining how they defined same sex sexual experiences. thanks for clearing this up.

[@arrowunderscore]

💞lgbt icons💞

[@chrisroberts313]

The reason they teach heterosexuality in schools is not for pleasurable entertainment for kids to practice its for procreation! Anything else is a perversion of the act aka lustful acts by sex pests

[@SciGuys]

it’s about sexual health in general, not just procreation

[@flyjet787]

I wish academic & social attitudes in the U.S. were as healthy as those expressed here....🙄

[@charliebuxton5020]

99

[@hydrogen-8]

137 :)

[@reloreo2899]

17

[@Gaibreel]

Currently there are 69 comments 😏

[@J03098]

5

[@LilCatDude]

8

[@amae2666]

125

[@loganmcmillan3973]

3

[@uvan5202]

3 or 11

[@Jiihariial]

14

[@aspiringcorgi5591]

19

[@marybethchavez3740]

7

[@jonathanaguirre6508]

Say gex

[@munchykitten]

69

[@biutifulmediauk8856]

13 lol

[@somerandomhuman2130]

337

[@sssargon8569]

17